Guns

Gun Control Absolutely Positively Right Now


Cjones04192021

Another day in America, another mass shooting.

After a recent mass shooting when Democrats in the Senate said we need legislation to stop this insanity, and not JUST thoughts and prayers, Senator Ted Cruz, the most disingenuous sonofabitch who has ever hatched from an egg, was livid. How dare Democrats play “theatrics” by attacking thoughts and prayers and instead, suggesting solutions. Even saying we need more than thoughts and prayers is an assault on our Christian values.

If you had listened to Ted Cruz, you would have thought Democrats had left a flaming bag of turds on the steps of the Thoughts and Prayers Institute for Gun Violence and Other Things To Be Sad About.

Ted Cruz talked about how he believes in the power of prayer. But here’s the thing about believing in the power of prayer like Ted does: It’s not working.

Ted talked about the power of prayer several mass shootings ago. Thursday night, another mass shooting took eight lives. This one was in Indianapolis at a FedEx facility. This was at least the 45th mass shooting since March 16, 2021.

In case you’re a Republican, let me lay that out for you. It was the 45th mass shooting in the span of a month. CNN defines a mass shooting as when four or more people, excluding the gunman, are wounded or killed. If you are going to order cards for thoughts and prayers, you better place a bulk order.

After the mass shooting in Georgia, or maybe it was Colorado (it’s getting harder to keep track), two right-wing fucknut fundamentalist cartoonists did cartoons of a crying Uncle Sam on the exact same day. They didn’t address the problem except to say it was sad. One of those morons lives in Indianapolis. Since he had just drawn a crying Uncle Sam, he had to come up with something different for an empty useless gesture. For this one, he had someone hugging a FedEx delivery driver.

The most revolting thing to me about this is that cartoonist works for himself. Nobody demanded he draw something that was a totally useless cliché. No editor held him back and forced him to take a coward’s way out. His response to something in his community was just as empty as his response to when it happens somewhere else. He didn’t even both trying to make it unique or particular to his home. He let his community down just as he’s been letting his country down. And nobody made him do it. He chose to suck all on his own. Just like Ted Cruz.

I don’t expect my cartoon above, or any of the others I’ve drawn on the subject, to end gun violence. But I am adding my voice to many others to find a solution other than just praying for it. I don’t keep repeating the same empty gesture again and again. For right-wing cartoonists, they express it’s sad people die from weapons they believe everyone should be able to own. Tomorrow, they’ll draw some phony outrage about a Hunter Biden sex tape or some shit that doesn’t affect anyone except their white privilege. Maybe they’ll draw a cartoon telling black people cops will stop shooting them if they just follow basic instructions. But when faced with a real challenge, they will fail. Like me, they’re just cartoonists.

Ted Cruz is a politician. Ted was elected to stop shit like this. He’s paid to confront gun violence. He’s one of 50 members of the United States Senate that doesn’t want to do anything about gun violence. Seriously. They don’t want to do anything. They are owned and controlled by the National Rifle Association. And when pressed to do something, they react as if you attacked their lord and savior. It’s a great deflection when you’re full of shit.

Ted Cruz giving thoughts and prayers when a mass shooting happens is him fleeing the situation just like when he fled to Cancun when his state was hit with a freeze. Ted Cruz says drafting legislation to combat gun violence is “theater.” This guy calling it “theater” is the same fucko who once made a campaign commercial of him cooking bacon by wrapping it around the barrel of an AR-15, then heating the barrel by shooting the gun a thousand times…then he ate that flaccid bacon as if that was owning the libs. That doesn’t own the libs. What it does is make libs lose their appetites after seeing Ted Cruz put stuff in his mouth. It works like reverse porn. Also, it’s shit like this that makes people think he’s the Zodiac Killer.

I believe in thoughts and prayers. I’m agnostic, but I think praying for someone is positive. It can be like meditation. Also, thinking is good. Give problems some thought. But, that’s what you do while you’re also tackling the problem.

When I have a problem with my Surface Pro, like the stylus decides to stop working while I’m on a CNN deadline, I tackle the problem. I’m googling up solutions and trying them out. All during that time, I’m praying it’s going to work. Granted, my prayers are probably different from yours and go something like, “You better work, you no good useless piece of crap sonofabitch mother forkerforkerforkforkforker….etc.” But, praying, or cursing at the problem, isn’t the only thing I’m doing.

Have you ever told someone you’re “still thinking about it” when you’re actually not? Like being asked if you’re coming home for Thanksgiving where all your troglodyte Trump-supporting cousins will be there talking about the stolen election and Jewish space lasers, and you say, “I’m still thinking about it”? But you’re not thinking about it. There’s no way you’re going to that shit festival of morons. You’ve already made up your mind that instead of going home to eat turkey and casserole with lunatics, you’re going to get a WaWa gobbler sandwich and a six-pack of Red Stripe, then sit home and watch Dallas lose to whoever they’re playing this year. That’s what I’m gonna do.

That’s thoughts and prayers for politicians.

Is it too much to ask politicians, even the most creepy disingenuous ones like Ted Cruz, to multitask and pray while also actually doing something? I mean, doing something other than accepting a campaign contribution?

When you pray for something to get better, are you literally asking God to fix it? Are you putting it entirely on God to do what you were elected to do? And as I’ve mentioned before, when you offer thoughts and prayers, you don’t even have to do it. Nobody knows if you’re actually giving something a thought or a prayer. It’s really the most useless thing you can do for a problem. Next time you get a flat tire, just pray for it. Don’t change the tire yourself or get your hands dirty. Let God fix it. Let me know how that works out.

FedEx used to have a slogan that said, “When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.” FedEx doesn’t pray packages get to their destinations. They actually physically deliver them. Washington Republican mofos need to do more than pray to end gun violence. Obviously, their thoughts and prayers are NOT working. Nobody is paying me the kind of money Ted Cruz is being given by taxpayers, but I know that if you don’t do anything about a problem, it’s just going to get worse.

We need gun control, not last night or overnight. We need to ban assault weapons absolutely, positively right fucking now.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Absolut Biden


Cjones04162021

I love that people who identify themselves as Constitutionalists don’t know shit fuck about the Constitution.

Usually, when a “Constitutionalist” screams about the Constitution and the rights it guarantees, it is really only talking about one Amendment, and that’s the Second. In case you don’t know what that Amendment guarantees, ask a “Constitutionalist.” The other thing I love about “Constitutionalists” is that they’ll tell you only part of what’s in the Second Amendment. Not only will they NOT tell you what the entire Amendment says, but when they tell you the part, “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” they won’t even tell you the entire sentence.

What does the rest of that sentence say? It says, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State…” and then it gives you, ” the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

When you talk to a “Constitutionalist,” especially the white male Christian ones, they believe they’re all infringed. They’re the most infringed people in world history.

The other thing I love about these wingnuts is that they don’t know history and they don’t know civics. Take Fox News fucknut Steve Doocy as an example. This asstwat goes on national TV every weekday morning, talks about the Constitution, and doesn’t know dick for shit what he’s talking about.

While introducing measures to curb gun violence, President Joe Biden said, “No amendment to the Constitution is absolute.” With that, conservatives lost their minds.

How dare the president say something so factual and historically accurate!!! How dare he know what he’s talking about!!!

Spoiler alert: None of the Amendments to the United States Constitution are absolute. They are not set in stone. The Constitution is a living document, as in it can be changed. But don’t take my word for it. I’m just a cartoonist. Let’s take Thomas Jefferson’s word.

Jefferson said, “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.”

Here’s your first history lesson for the day, conservatives: Thomas Jefferson was one of the framers of the Constitution. Ouch. That one stings. Walk it off. It’s about to get worse.

Steve Doocy, who is NOT Thomas Jefferson, went off the rails on his morning show for numbnuts. Doocy said, “The part that is really shocking is where the President just said no amendment to the Constitution is absolute. He’s talking about the Second Amendment, which he does not regard as, you know, giving everybody the right to do whatever they want to with guns, we know that we know his talking point.” It’s nice that he believes the Second Amendment gives everyone the right to do whatever they want with guns.

When talking about the Constitution, would you rather take the word from a guy named Jefferson or a turd named Doocy? I’d listen to George Jefferson before I’d listen to Steve Doocy.

This is where Doocy displays his ignorance. He rhetorically asked, “But what about if no Amendment is absolute? What about how does he feel about the First Amendment? How does he feel about the freedom of religion, how does he feel about freedom of speech?” I say he asked “rhetorically” because he ignored that Biden gave a civics and history lesson in his speech.

President Biden said, “You can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded movie theater and call it freedom of speech. From the very beginning, you couldn’t own any weapon you wanted to own. From the very beginning that the Second Amendment existed, certain people weren’t allowed to have weapons. So the idea is just bizarre to suggest that some of the things we’re recommending are contrary to the Constitution.”

The First Amendment gives you the freedom of speech, but it doesn’t give you the freedom to say anything you want. Courts have ruled you don’t have the right to libel someone. You don’t have the right to speak and cause a panic or a riot. I can call Steve Doocy a butt muncher but I can’t make a public claim that he literally munches on butts.

As Jefferson said, ” We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.” Jefferson probably anticipated slavery would eventually be outlawed…and banning it would become a Constitutional amendment. See? We outgrew out childish pants and outgrew the regimen of our “barbarous ancestors.” And the Constitution changed from the first ten amendments our founding fathers created, and written by James Madison, which is the Bill of Rights. Also, Madison was another slave owner, but you know what he didn’t own? A fucking AR-15.

We have added 27 amendments to the Constitution. We’ve added stuff like allowing women to vote, banning slavery, electing the president and vice-president on the same ticket, electing senators by popular vote, and banning the sale of alcohol. Wait. Selling and buying alcohol is legal today. If amendments to the Constitution are absolute, then why is the sale of alcohol legal? Because Amendments…wait for it….ARE NOT ABSOLUTE.

In 1919, the 18th Amendment was ratified by the required number of states and added to the United States Constitution. This Amendment made the sale and purchase of alcohol illegal in the United States. There were no exceptions. Being that this nation does like to drink and the government couldn’t stop people from drinking, or the organized crime from it, the Amendment was repealed 24 years later. And this was done without a serious liquor lobby behind it.

In 1933, the required numbers of states said, “Get the fuck out of here,” to the 18th Amendment and the 21st was born, which repealed the 18th. On a side note, I still think it’s funny that marijuana is federally outlawed and there’s nothing in the Constitution about it. We need a weed Amendment because alcohol is much worse than weed.

We have only changed one Amendment but that proves no Amendment is absolute. What will it take to repeal an Amendment?

To change the Constitution, Congress has to call a Constitutional Convention for proposing amendments upon application of the legislatures of two-thirds of the states. That means 34 states have to agree to the convention, to even discuss it. Then, any Amendments proposed by Congress or the Convention only becomes valid when three-fourths of states’ legislatures or state conventions ratify the proposed Amendment. It would take 38 states to add a new Amendment to the Constitution.

Now it’s my turn to ask a rhetorical question: Can we get 38 states to do anything to change the Second Amendment? Hell no. We’ll never get Congress to even propose such a change.

But no Amendment is absolute. We can fight for change in courts. The Second Amendment doesn’t give you the right to own a semi-automatic rifle or unlimited ammunition.

Don’t act like President Joe Biden doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says, “No Amendment to the Constitution is absolute,” because he’s right. You may not like that he wants to change gun laws, but don’t act like he’s the one who doesn’t know his shit. When you do, you only prove you’re an idiot.

The Constitution is not infallible. It was written by slave owners. Our first five presidents were slave owners with a total of 12 presidents owning slaves. These are men who wrote, “All men are created equal” who also held slaves and didn’t believe women should have the right to vote. We can’t live by the standards of our “barbarous ancestors” who wrote the Constitution in 1787.

It’s time to move on and stop living by standards that was the norm 233 years ago. I can drink to that.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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The Real Extremists


Cjones03262021

One of my cartoon copy editors (I have two) told me this cartoon hit on something that “distresses” her.

She wrote, “It’s become a competition after every mass shooting to see if the shooter is one of ours or one of theirs. If it’s one of theirs, that just shows how bad and depraved the other side is. If it’s one of ours, it’s because the shooter was somehow victimized by the other side. We’re so busy hating one another we can’t see that actual people are dying and it’s coming for us too.” And then she told me I didn’t have any typos.

She is absolutely right and it’s something I admit I think of with each shooting…and I know you do too. I also know the other side does it.

How do I know the other side does it? Because if it’s a white guy, especially one with a pro-Trump or racist manifesto (same thing really), they scream the guy was mentally unstable. If the guy isn’t white, then he’s a terrorist.

My first thought is not, “Is it one of theirs or one of ours?”. That’s because no mass shooter is one of ours. I’m not on the side of people who kill people. Even when a liberal shot Republican Steve Scalise, it wasn’t one of ours. That lunatic may have barked liberal philosophies, but he betrayed it by shooting someone.

For Republicans, all shooters are theirs. It doesn’t matter if the guy has a Republican manifesto and is driving around in a van covered with pro-Trump stickers and is an incel who gets rejected by his blow-up Barbie, or if he’s a bearded beanie Birkenstock-wearing Bernie Bro. Republicans bear responsibility for all shootings. And it’s not because white nationalists are the greatest terror threat in this nation (they are), but because Republicans refuse to do anything about the gun crisis (only immigrants at the border is a “crisis”) and they’re owned by the NRA.

The majority of Americans want gun control. Even the Second Amendment that Republican fucksticks keep barking about uses the term “well-regulated.” It’s kinda ironic the anti-regulation party bases their entire pro-gun spiel on a sentence that says guns should be “well-regulated.” Even back when there were only muskets that took two hours to load, the founding fathers thought regulating guns was a good idea.

But the Republican Party is controlled by the National Rifle Association. When elected officials serve a lobby, they’re not serving their constituents.

Yesterday, Ted Cruz, a guy with a face more punchable than Rand Paul’s, literally complained that every time there is a mass shooting, Democrats want to end mass shootings. Then he literally (we use “literally” a lot with Ted Cruz) argued using “thoughts and prayers” over doing anything substantial. He said proposing legislation was “ridiculous theater.”

Ted, when you left for Cancun wearing a generic face mask but returned home the next day after being called out and then being photographed with a Texas flag face mask, that face mask was “ridiculous theater.” “Ridiculous theater” was you staging photo-ops of loading water into cars while wearing the same Texas flag face mask. If Ted is ever caught cheating on Heidi, he’ll show up the next day with flowers and her face on a T-shirt. And then, Donald Trump can tweet that Melania’s face looks better on T-shirts.

Remember that crazy county clerk in Kentucky who wouldn’t certify gay marriages and was arrested for it? The day she got out of jail, Ted Cruz was there for a photo-op. THAT was “ridiculous theater.” And even she didn’t wanna be seen with Ted Cruz. Instead, she spent all day with Mike Huckabee.

Cancun Cruz argued in the Senate, “I don’t apologize for thoughts or prayers. I will lift up in prayer people who are hurting and I believe in the power of prayer, and the contempt of Democrats for prayers is an odd sociological thing.”

No, Ted. Your gun fetish is an odd sociological thing. That time you cooked bacon on a heated gun barrel of an assault weapon in a campaign commercial was an odd sociological thing. By the way, have you ever heard of a frying pan? That shit you peeled off the gun barrel was limper and more flaccid than…bacon from McDonald’s (you thought I was going somewhere else with that, didn’t ya’?).

Campaign commercials by Qanon congresswoman fucknut Marjorie Taylor Green shooting a sign reading “Socialism” with an assault weapon is an odd sociological thing. But hey, points for finding someone on her staff who can spell “socialism.”

Campaign commercials by Qanon congresswoman fucknut Lauren Boebert of her skulking through Washington with a gun holster on her hip and strapped to her fucking leg like the capital is high noon at the Fucknut Corral in Dodge City is an odd sociological thing.

Republican congressman and noted liar Madison Cawthorn’s commercials of him shooting assault weapons (plural) is an odd sociological thing.

Fuckwad Representatives demanding they should be allowed to take their guns anywhere in the Capitol building is an odd sociological thing. What are you afraid of, that Diane Feinstein’s gonna mug you for your lunch money?

I grew up with guns. I’m from the south so, duh. But I haven’t owned a gun since before my son was born in 1990. I had fun shooting guns and going hunting without killing anything with my best friend Ronnie when we were kids. Then I realized I didn’t like getting up early and sitting in a deer stand in the rain and the first time a deer crossed my path, which were two fawns, instead of shooting them, I named them (Spots and Spotsier. They had spots). Their mom followed and I named her Susan. I had two shot guns and a 22 rifle. My uncle, who sold me my 12 gauge, repossessed it when I didn’t finish paying for him for it (he had a lot of guns), and I realized I didn’t care. Soon after, I gave my rusty 410 (a pretty weak shotgun) to a neighbor and pawned my 22. I never really looked back or regretted getting rid of my guns. But Ronnie still loves his guns.

Today, Ronnie is in Alabama. I was friends with Ronnie’s wife, Lisa, back in the 80s before he met her and sometimes we still talk. I was having a conversation with her fairly recently and we were talking about Washington, DC and New York City. She told me Ronnie would never go to those places because he won’t go anywhere he can’t take a gun. To me, a guy who grew up with guns in the south and can understand it a little bit, that’s an odd sociological thing.

By the way, Ronnie still owes me a video of him crying that he promised before the election if Trump lost. I will also settle for a video of him doing the Little Wrong Man dance.

Anyway…guns. The fetish for them is an odd sociological thing. I don’t get the inability of being unable to leave your home without a gun. For me, it’s car keys, phone, wallet, and pants (when you spend all day without wearing pants during a pandemic, there’s always that one time you step outside forgetting to put on pants. Oddly enough, I had on shoes and socks).

Ted Cruz thinks wanting to do more than giving thoughts and prayers is an odd sociological thing. Ted, your face is odd.

Do you know what the best thing about “thoughts and prayers” is for Republicans? Ted says he believes in the power of prayer, despite the fact it’s not working. Proof? Ten people died from a mass shooting this week and another eight last week. The prayers didn’t stop it. Or maybe all the times they offered thoughts and prayers in the past, they just forgot to actually do it. But Ted and his fellow fetishists claim that giving some thoughts and some prayers are effective and it’s their excuse not to do anything that would actually be substantial in curbing gun violence. But the very best part of thoughts and prayers is…they don’t even have to prove they’re doing it.

I mean, Ted. When you close your eyes and try giving us the impression you’re praying, how do we know you’re actually praying for the victims…or even praying at all? For all we know, you’re thinking back to that banana monkey you had in Cancun while your state was freezing its lone star balls off. You could be thinking about soft and flaccid gun barrel bacon. Or maybe you’re thinking about a new way to kiss Donald Trump’s ass that would overshadow all other Republicans’ kissing of Donald Trump’s ass. Or maybe, when you’re pretending to pray, you’re trying to think of another way to use your daughters in another campaign commercial…or if you should throw them under the bus again the next time you’re caught being a sniveling weasel. You could be thinking about how to gaslight that you were ever in favor of overturning an election and had supported white nationalist terrorists. Maybe you’re asking God why crazy religious female zealots prefer Mike Huckabee over you. Maybe you’re thinking Trump was right to accuse your father of murder. Or maybe you’re wondering if your wife Heidi is truly as ugly as Donald Trump says she is. Maybe you’re asking your lord why he gave you that face. I have. Dear, Lord. Why did you give Ted Cruz that face?

It doesn’t matter what Ted or other Republicans are thinking, none of it will stop gun violence.

And seriously, God. Why did you give him that face? Did Ted turn into a total spineless shitweasel because he had to grow up with that face, or did God know he was going to suck, so he gave him that face? But even then, I doubt thoughts and prayers can do anything to help Ted’s face.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw.

Boebert To Boulder


Cjones03252021

We’ve had two mass shootings in the span of a week. Last week, a shooter killed eight in Asian massage parlors in the Atlanta, Georgia area. Yesterday, another shooter killed ten in in a large supermarket in Boulder, Colorado. One of those killed was a cop.

Boulder enacted an assault weapon ban in 2018. What’s an assault weapon? It’s the type of gun someone would use to kill ten people in a supermarket. Ten days ago, a court blocked the ban.

The Colorado State Shooting Association, one of the plaintiffs that sued Boulder over the assault weapons ban, issued a statement saying, “There will be a time for the debate on gun laws. There will be a time for the discussion on motives. There will be a time for a conversation on how this could have been prevented. But today is not the time.”

To the Colorado State Shooting Association, and to everyone else who’s ever said, “Now is not the time,” I have to give a big “fuck you.” Fuck you and fuck your “now is not the time.” If there’s a mass shooting every week, then there will never be a time to debate gun laws. Stop using this as an excuse to abdicate your responsibility. Today is the time. Tomorrow will be the time. Next week will be the time. And every day before this shooting was the time to discuss gun safety…yet, you didn’t want to do it.

Here’s a question for the Colorado State Shooting Association: Was the shooter a member of your shooting association? I mean, from your name alone, it sounds like he would have qualified because he was a shooter.

There is one way to stop these weekly mass shootings and that is to get rid of assault weapons. And before you cry, “That won’t work,” let me point out, it’s worked everywhere in the world that it’s been tried. But you may be right in that it won’t work here because we have a gun fetish. There is no other nation in this world where its citizens want to fuck their guns as much as we do. We are a nation that is more comfortable with having children shot in schools than the idea of registering a gun.

For an example of American gun fetish, look at Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert. She’s just two cracked egg shells shy from being Marjorie Taylor Green in the Qanon fucknut division. While she doesn’t represent Boulder, geographically, her district covers half the state.

Boebert, like a lot of Republicans, is a deranged lunatic. She has close ties to the extremist militia group the Three Percenters, a group that’s 100 percent Nazi. They were involved in the terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol.

She did an interview on a Qanon radio show (that’s a thing?) and said she was “very familiar” with the group and, “Everything I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real because it only means America is getting stronger and better.” She hopes that Democrats are eating babies with their pizza? Still, probably better than pineapple.

She repeated a conspiracy theory pushed by the conspiracy fucknut newspaper, The Epoch Times, that there were documents declassified by Trump that would soon spark massive resignations in the House and Senate, and Republicans would retake both chambers (this is the good part) BEFORE 2022. Also, Hillary Clinton will soon be arrested for something or other. Maybe that baby pizza thing.

During the white nationalist attack on the Capitol, Boebert tweeted details about the police response and attempted to help terrorists find the location of Speaker Nancy Pelosi. This would be like your guard dog showing burglars where you keep your safe and giving them the combination. She voted against certifying the election based on the lie it was stolen from Trump and has been accused of helping instigate the attack…probably because she helped instigate the attack.

During the Conservative Political Action Conference a few weeks ago, she enlisted other members of the House to vote for her due to the coronavirus…but she was actually at CPAC helping to spread Qanon and Trump conspiracy bullshit.

When she’s not aiding racist anti-government terrorists to attack our nation, she enjoys zooming with her guns.

Boebert is a gun nut. She claims she has to carry a gun at all times, even when speaking on the House floor, because someone was beaten to death outside the restaurant she owns in Colorado (where every customer gets to shoot their entrée before consuming it). The fact is, someone was in an altercation several blocks from her restaurant, and after running away, collapsed in front of her place from what an autopsy determined was methamphetamine intoxication.

By the way, her restaurant is Shooters Grill in the town of Rifle. I swear to God and on all my guitars, I did not make that up. One of the Yelp reviews says, “Hey y’all, if diarrhea is your favorite way to expel calories, you’ve found your shortcut to weight loss right here!” Do they have country fried steak? I was going to post the link to the restaurant but Google says it’s not safe….just like the restaurant.

Boebert is a big fan of not just carrying a gun, but posing with it. She made a video of herself (since Republicans like using this word, we’ll use it for them) PARADING while smirking with a gun strapped to her hip. She has made a huge issue of averting metal detectors in the Capitol and has become a right-wing fucknut hero over her gun brandishing.

Boebert claims if she’s prohibited from carrying a gun into a House Natural Resources Committee hearing (which I’m assuming she’s on), then the chairman of the committee, Raul Grijalva, must pay for her personal protection, as in hiring security guards to follow her around. These people who are afraid to even do a Zoom call without a gun accuse others of being cowards for wearing face masks. “Afraid to leave the house are ya’?” while they have Glocks hidden in their ass cracks.

She said, “The chairman is trying to take responsibility for my personal safety while stripping away my Second Amendment rights.” I have read the Second Amendment multiple times and I haven’t found the part where it states you can carry a gun into any room or building you want to. The greatest danger you’re going to face in the United States Capitol is if a far-right racist terrorist group attacks it. Maybe she’s afraid that if that happens, someone will tweet out her location. Quick! Grab the ass Glock!

There is a regulation that exempts members from a federal law banning firearms on the Capitol grounds. But, weapons are still prohibited on the House floor. This has not stopped a gun fucker like Boebert from being a pistol-packing mama on the House floor.

During a Zoom meeting of the committee she’s on, Boebert made sure to use her gun fetish as her background (while I struggle for my apartment not to look like a warehouse during my Zoom meetings or keep my bed from appearing). Boebert had several guns right behind her head. When the committee resumes meeting in person again, she intends to bring her guns with her unless a Democrat pays for her security detail.

Representative Jared Huffman said, “Here’s the reality — if somebody wants to have a shrine to their gun fetish as a Zoom backdrop in their private life, they can do that, but this is our hearing room. At some point we will get past the COVID epidemic and we’ll all start showing up in person and our safety and our ability to conduct business civilly without feeling threatened is a relevant consideration, unfortunately.”

And her fellow House members should feel threatened by her. Why? Because she is a security threat. She’s packing a gun, supporters terrorist groups, and let me remind you…helped terrorists attack Congress. So yeah….members of Congress should be very aware of how dangerous she is.

Members of Congress deserve to feel safe and not live in fear of being shot by a raving lunatic while on the House floor or in committee meetings. Also, you should feel safe not to get blasted by an automatic weapon by a maniac while you’re going to school, the movies, or shopping. All three of those have been the scene of a mass shooting in Colorado.

I have three newspapers in Colorado who subscribe to my cartoon service. They are The Colorado Reporter in Denver, the Colorado Springs Independent, and Boulder Weekly. I hope all my friends in Boulder are safe and my thoughts are with them.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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The House That Trump Built


cjones08302020

Republicans don’t comprehend well. You can scream as loud as the banshee Don Jr is dating and they still wouldn’t get it.

For the past three nights, Republicans have used their convention to tell us Donald Trump is not a racist while not once showing any support for Black Lives Matter. Last night, not one of them said Jacob Blake’s name. And of course, no one said Kyle Rittenhouse.

Kyle Rittenhouse is only 17, and like the Republicans he supports, he doesn’t get it. He was a big promoter online of Blue Lives Matter. What he doesn’t get here is, blue lives have always mattered. Today, one of my conservative colleagues drew a cartoon justifying the killing of Blake by arguing he shouldn’t have resisted arrest, and he used the term “all lives matter.” Just like blue lives, white lives have always mattered. The reason we say “black lives matter” is because the culture and system in this nation still does not believe they do. And resisting arrest should not be a death sentence. It’s like arguing a woman asked to be raped because she dressed seductively.

Case in point: Last night, while arguing for equality, Mike Pence defended our “culture” and Confederate statues. Another case in point: New video footage came out showing Kenosha police handing out bottles of water to the “vigilantes.”

The chief of Kenosha’s police says he refused to deputize armed citizens, which is smart. But then, his cops are on the street, handing out water to these militias and thanking them. The chief said his cops would hand out water to anyone, so let’s see the footage of them handing out water to BLM protesters and thanking them.

The chief also defended Rittenhouse saying the shootings wouldn’t have happened if everyone had obeyed the curfew and that Rittenhouse was just there to “resolve” the conflict. Seriously. I’m not a cop, but it seems to me that if the protesters are breaking curfew, then so are the fucking militias who are armed. The cops didn’t tell them to get off the streets.

And the other footage just released shows Kyle Rittenhouse approaching multiple police vehicles, even getting within inches of one, looking in the window, and the cops just waving him off. This was immediately after Rittenhouse had shot three protesters, killing two and taking the arm of another. The protesters were yelling at the police that Rittenhouse had just shot people. The police let him go. Why? Because he’s white.

We don’t need to ask how would the cops have responded if this was a black man with a gun. They shot Jacob Blake seven times in the back and are now supporting that action by saying he had a knife in his car…which he was not in. Also, the cops who shot Blake in the back seven times have STILL NOT BEEN CHARGED. Maybe this is why Rittenhouse dreamed of being a cop. You can shoot black people and get away with it. Hell, he almost did just by being white.

The GOP celebrated Mark and Patricia McCloskey for standing on their lawn pointing guns at Black Lives Matter protesters walking by their house. They had them as speakers at their convention. They warned if Joe Biden is elected, black people may walk by your house where your white family lives. Donald Trump and the Republican Party are making heroes and victims out of the McCloskeys. This probably leaves a huge impression on gun fetishists, especially one as impressionable as a 17-year-old.

Kyle Rittenhouse has a gun fetish. He has a cop fetish. He is a Donald Trump supporter. He even sat in the front row of a Trump rally. He’s also a killer and a terrorist. And the Republicans who support “law and order” and claim they’re the best at protecting us from terrorists…are defending this white terrorist. They’re calling this murderer a hero. This Trumpian version of Hitler Youth got exactly what he wanted. He got to shoot black people and he’s becoming famous, like he said he wanted, in the right-wing bubble.

They’re arguing he was just defending himself. Yeah, he drove across state lines to a town he didn’t live in to confront protesters and defend himself. Then, he ran away back across state lines after shooting people. He did not defend himself. He attacked people. He was on another video claiming it was his job to defend businesses in Kenosha, yet he was in the middle of the street shooting at people. It was not this 17-year-old kid’s job to drive to Kenosha and defend businesses. He should have stayed home and played on 4chan like most right-wing Trump supporting fucknuts.

And the other militia members who were in his presence, it doesn’t seem that any of them had an issue with a kid joining them with an assault rifle. The cops passed him several times and never had an issue with a kid on the streets with an assault rifle. Why? Because he’s white.

And how did he get that assault rifle? He’s 17. He’s not supposed to be able to purchase one. Has anyone on Fox News asked that question? Will the Republican Party ask that question? Let me kill the suspense right now. No.

The GOP is real big about calling for law and order and ending violence…but they won’t specifically call out these militia fucknuts. In fact, Donald Trump tweeted at them to liberate states with Democratic governors.

This morning, Donald Trump, the Republican Party, Fox News, and all conservatives can’t accept their complicity, can’t mention the crimes, can’t call this kid a terrorist, and can’t own any responsibility. Just as he said about the coronavirus, he’s not responsible.

The entire Republican Party is responsible for this kid who went out to shoot black Americans. It’s every right-wing gun fetishist’s dream. It’s why they carry long rifles into Starbucks. They’re hoping a black guy will make their day.

Kyle Rittenhouse went to Kenosha to have his day made. He went stormtrooping down the street, took lives and ruined others. The Republican Party encouraged this and now they’re defending it.

This an issue where we need to fight for civil rights and gun control. And maybe, the Republican Party and the president (sic) of the United States can stop glorifying white right-wing terrorists.

Donald Trump and the Republican Party support and promote white right-wing terrorists.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Say All Their Names


cjones08192020

A child was killed with a gun last Sunday and conservatives are rightly upset. They’re not upset Cannon Hinnant, who was just 5-years-old, was killed in his front yard in Wilson, North Carolina by a man with a gun. He was shot in the head by a neighbor who was friends with his father. If they’re not upset over him being killed with a gun, then what are they upset over?

Conservatives are not upset because the man wasn’t captured or because authorities refused to charge him. The suspect is currently being held without bond and many expect him to receive the death penalty.

Conservatives are upset that while the media ran stories about George Floyd, and who they say was a “thug” and was murdered by a cop, the media has refused to run stories about Cannon. Except the national media has run stories about Cannon.

Conservatives keep saying, “Say his name,” in response to Black Lives Matter protesters chanting, “Say his name” during their protests. Conservatives have taken “Say his name” and turned it into just another of their three-syllable hate chants like, “Lock her up,” “Build the wall,” “Send them back,” etc.

Conservatives are saying, “Say his name” for the little white boy killed by a black man. Conservatives are pushing a narrative that black people kill white people. It’s kinda like Donald Trump saying Mexico is sending us “rapists and murderers,” except now, Republicans are saying that black Americans are all murderers.

What I haven’t heard is outrage from the right over the gun. I haven’t heard anyone ask how the suspect acquired the gun. I haven’t even heard them ask what type of gun. It’s almost like Cannon was murdered with a gun but not with a gun. But when they finally get around to the gun aspect of this, they’ll probably argue that five-year-old Cannon would still be alive if only he had a gun.

Cannon was killed with a gun on August 9, 2020. Since that day, 15 other children have been killed by guns. When you see someone on social media post a meme about Cannon, ask them if they can say the name of any of the other 15 children killed by guns since Cannon’s murder? If they’re so upset about a child being murdered, then they’ll be able to say all 15 of those names in addition to Cannon’s. In case you’re a conservative, 15 plus 1 equals 16.

If your outrage isn’t solely based on racism and that the suspect is black, then say all their names. Better yet, why don’t you say all the names of the over 40,000 children killed by guns since 1999?

Are you trying to tell me the deaths of those children aren’t anything to be outraged about but Cannon’s is? Were all those children “crisis actors?” Was Cannon the first child to be murdered by a gun ever? I don’t recall you getting this upset over a child’s murder in the past. Where were those memes? What you’re refusing to acknowledge is that too many children are being killed by guns in this country.

In 2017, there were 144 police officers who died in the line of duty and about 1,000 active-duty military throughout the world who died. Whereas, in that same year, 2,462 school-age children were killed by your beloved guns. More children died from guns that cops, soldiers, and Marines combined. It’s more dangerous to be a child in the United States of America than it is to be a U.S. soldier in a war zone because of your cherished guns.

If you could bring Cannon back by giving up your gun, would you do it? No. You wouldn’t. You decided a long time ago that you can live with the death of school children to keep your gun. You decided the lives of children was a worthwhile sacrifice.

The truth is, you don’t give a damn about Cannon’s life. He’s just a political talking point to you. For you and your racist troglodyte Trump-supporting friends, Cannon is just a Facebook meme.

Again, why are you only upset about this ONE death out of over 40,000? If your outrage isn’t based on racism, then why aren’t you saying the other names?

If you’re upset over a child being murdered by a gun, then from this moment on, I demand that you create and post a meme for each new death of a child on a daily basis. Guess what. You’re going to be busy because it happens nearly every day. Hell, 2 died yesterday and 2 died the day before that. In case you’re a Republican, 2 plus 2 equals 4.

Say all their names unless you’re just saying the names of while kids killed by black people.

Say his name? Yes. Say his name. But say all their names.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

TikTok Trump


CNN08092020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I’m hoping it’s tick-tock for Donald Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

If Biden Wins


cjones08102020

You would think Donald Trump is talking out of his ass and making up wild bullshit out of desperation from losing to Joe Biden, except Donald Trump always talks out of his ass and makes up wild bullshit.

Donald Trump said if Biden wins, he’ll, “Take away your guns, take away your Second Amendment. No religion, no anything. Hurt the Bible. Hurt God. He’s against God. He’s against guns. He’s against energy, our kind of energy.”

He also claimed Biden will get rid of cops and fracking. The fracking thing might be the only thing close to being true. Why didn’t Trump include grandmas, baseball, apple pie, and puppies?

Joe Biden has based his entire career on his faith. It’s something he’s talked about again and again. He talked about how his faith helped him get through the loss of his first wife, daughter, and son. When Pope Francis visited the United States in 2015, Joe Biden met him on the tarmac, went with him to Mass at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and accompanied the Pope to Philadelphia. He called the Pope, “the single most popular figure in the world.”

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Russians meddlers spread lies that Pope Francis endorsed Trump. Donald Trump never knocked those claims down.

When Donald Trump talks about religion, he says he has never asked for forgiveness and when he has been to church, that’s where you eat your “little crackers and drink your little wine.”

The last time Donald Trump went to a church, he had the military teargas peaceful protesters so he could walk to it from the White House, stand outside the church on a Monday afternoon, hold “a” Bible upside down(when asked if it was his, he said it was “a Bible”), all for a photo-op. Then he walked back to the White House. No statements. No prayers. Nothing but a photo which was made possible by Attorney General William Barr and Secretary of Defense Mark Esper, who later said he regretted it.

Religious leader and hater of zipping up his pants, Jerry Falwell Jr. is a big Trump fan and thinks the coronavirus is an evil plot to destroy Trump. What was in that glass of “black water?”

Evangelicals love Donald Trump. Many believe he was sent by God. Donald Trump believes he was sent by God. Donald Trump has claimed he’s the “Chosen One.” The Republican Party has turned into a cult that treats Trumpism as a religion. There is nothing to believe in but Trump. Christians who support Donald Trump are not Christians.

A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump using a church for a photo-op. A Christian would take offense at Donald Trump saying he doesn’t need forgiveness. A Christian wouldn’t support a man who brags about “grabbing them by the pussy.” A Christian wouldn’t support a grifter like Donald Trump who steals from charities to purchase paintings of himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who is the king of vanity and can’t stop praising himself. A Christian would not support a man like Donald Trump who mocks the handicapped and puts children into jails. A Christian would not support a man who claims his opponent hates the Bible and will hurt God. A Christian would reject a man who claims he’s the “Chosen One.” A Christian would not support a man who lies. A Christian would not support Mr. Two Corinthians.

A real Christian would support removing Donald Trump from the Oval Office.

Joe Biden hurt God? A Christian would know that’s impossible. Donald Trump is no Christian.

If you claim you are a Christian and you support Donald Trump, do us all a favor and blow it out your ass.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Defund The NRA


cjones08092020

The National Rifle Association has been a very secretive organization for decades. They won’t publicize their funding or even how many members they have, but there is one thing we know about them. They’re evil incarnate.

For years, the lobbying group has controlled the Republican Party (also evil) and has succeeded in blocking even the lightest of gun regulations. As more and more Americans die from gun violence each year, including children from mass shootings at their schools, the NRA pushes for more guns in our society.

The NRA has advocated for semi-automatic weapons over the lives of children for years. The NRA has blood on its hands. The NRA labels every proposed gun regulation as an attack on the 2nd Amendment. The NRA has positioned itself as the 2nd Amendment. And for years, like every gun nut on the internet, the NRA ignores the part of the 2nd Amendment that mentions “regulated.”

The 2nd Amendment is the most sacred part of the Constitution to Republicans as they describe themselves as Constitutionalists and argue the Amendment shouldn’t be touched. But if they could, they’d take out the word “regulated.” Of course, the 2nd Amendment is the only amendment they’ve read.

Now, the state of New York is going to war with the National Rifle Association. New York isn’t just looking to put a hurting on the NRA. New York is out to obliterate the NRA.

New York Attorney General Letitia James filed a 168-page lawsuit with the state Supreme Court seeking to dissolve the NRA and claimed four of its top officials “funneled millions into their own pockets” and described the NRA as “a breeding ground for greed, abuse, and brazen illegality.”

The suit was followed by another by the Attorney General of Washington, D.C., who filed suit against the N.R.A. and its charitable foundation, alleging the NRA misused millions of dollars of the foundation’s funds. So the NRA has a charity…just like Donald Trump did.

It’s funny how Republicans chastised the Clinton Foundation for years as corrupt, without ever having proof. Today, the NRA is being sued for corruption and the Trump Foundation doesn’t exist anymore.

The NRA is countersuing New York, claiming its 1st Amendment rights are being attacked and the lawsuit is entirely political. Proving the 2nd Amendment is the only one they’ve read, there is nothing in the 1st that grants you the right to steal money.

The NRA was chartered as a non-profit in New York state 148 years ago though their headquarters are in Virginia outside the capital. The four top dogs in the NRA being sued are Wayne LaPierre, the longtime chief executive, John Frazer, the organization’s general counsel; Josh Powell, a former top lieutenant of LaPierre; and Wilson Phillips (not the 80’s group that sang “Hold on for one more day,” but that might be appropriate here), a former chief financial officer.

LaPierre is accused of raiding N.R.A. funds to bankroll an extravagant lifestyle, even after being paid millions in salary and benefits.

The suit says over six and a half years, a personal travel consultant for LaPierre was paid $13.5 million, largely on no-bid contracts. Private flights were chartered for LaPierre’s wife and his niece. He took frequent trips to the Bahamas on the N.R.A.’s dime, often decamping to a 108-foot yacht called “Illusions” (how appropriate) that was owned by an N.R.A. contractor and included a chef and four staterooms. He lavished gifts from Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman on his inner circle, and once put his niece up at a Four Seasons hotel for eight nights at a cost of more than $12,000.

The suit says the executives enriched themselves, their friends, families, and allies, and took improper actions that cost the organization $64 million over three years. The lawsuit seeks to ban the executives from EVER again serving on nonprofit boards in the state of New York. Hmm. Just like Donald Trump and his three oldest kids after using their fake charity in similar corrupt manners.

This is a civil suit and the state’s AG has referred it to the IRS. There may be a criminal referral in the future. They should probably keep their eyes on LaPierre who likes to visit the Bahamas a lot. We have an extradition treaty with that country, right? Psst. We do.

The NRA is evil. It’s so evil, Russia is a big advocate for it. Why would Russia, a nation with strict gun control laws, send spies to infiltrate the NRA? Because Russia knows the organization helps destabilize the United States. There are still investigations into whether the NRA was used by Russia to funnel money into Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.

Leading up to the 2016 election, the NRA was a Russian asset.

Donald Trump said about the investigation, “That’s a very terrible thing that just happened The N.R.A. should move to Texas and lead a very good and beautiful life.” The word “Beautiful” is one of Donald Trump’s big words which is included in nearly every Donald Trump statement but at least he didn’t pronounce Texas as “Thexas.” By the way, the NRA can’t move its organization while it’s under investigation.

In the past, the state Attorney General referred to the NRA as a “terrorist organization.” They do support easy access to gun by terrorists. In fact, they’ve lobbied to defend a terrorist’s rights to get guns.

LaPierre is also said to have secured for himself, without board approval, a post-employment contract worth more than $17 million. This guy has used the NRA to enrich himself, just like Donald Trump used his bogus charity to enrich himself. What will we learn next? That LaPierre used NRA funds to buy portraits of himself and Tim Tebow-signed football helmets?

The Attorney General’s office took down the Trump Foundation. It took down Trump University. Now, it’s gunning (pun intended) for the National Rifle Association.

Could we actually see the dissolving of two evil organizations in one year? This would be a much safer nation, to itself and the world, with the destruction of the NRA and the Trump administration.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Ken And Karen


cjones07032020

If you’re on social media, that’s probably how you became aware of this story.

This story started because St. Louis Mayor Lyda Krewson publicized the names and addresses of her constituents who had written to her about defunding the police department during a Facebook Live stream. Protesters were on their way to her house, in a rich and snooty neighborhood, to let her know how they felt about that. Along the way, they encountered this charming couple.

Mark and Patricia McCloskey, who are personal injury lawyers, went out onto their lawn to point weapons at the protesters as they passed by. They were identified by St. Louis Today because, in 2018, they were featured in St. Louis Magazine about finishing renovations to their midwestern palazzo. What the fuck is a palazzo?

I don’t like to get my news from social media, but I will follow a tip. I wanted to know the entire scoop on this. How did I Google search? Did I type, “St. Louis assholes with guns?” Did I type, “St. Louis Snobby McSnobbersons?” Did I type, “Entitled jerkwad couple point guns at protesters?” Did I type, “shoeless racist gun nuts?” Nope.

I typed and searched for “Ken and Karen.” Bingo!

What’s a Ken and Karen? Ken is a male Karen. What’s a Karen? I’m glad you asked.

A Karen is a pejorative term for an older privileged obnoxious entitled woman who demands to get her way. The Urban Dictionary describes it as “rude, obnoxious and insufferable middle-aged white women.” A male of this species is often referred to as a “Ken” or a “male Karen.” “Man Karen” works too.

I know three Karens. I’m not sure about one of them but two are definitely NOT Karens. One is a fabulous musician who has released a couple of albums and whose first performance at SXSW was ruined by the coronavirus. She’s definitely NOT a Karen. The other is like a sister to me, thinks like I do on just about everything with politics, and she’s also not white. Well, maybe a little white. She’s all mixed up. She’s NOT a Karen.

But this pair of Karens in St. Louis are Karens. How entitled are these racist mansion dwellers? They were able to point loaded weapons at peaceful protesters and not be charged. In fact, a police report was filed because the protesters are accused of breaking through a gate and walking down a private street, and in this report, the two Karens are listed as…wait for it…victims.

How are they victims? Because a bunch of black people walked in front of their snooty-ass house? Oh no! Black people! Get the guns. Don’t bother putting on shoes….and yes, Rambo would wear a pink shirt, but tuck it in. Get out there and point!

Fuck the Karens.

In fact, there aren’t any reports of any homes being vandalized along the way. So why were the Karens justified to stand on their lawn, not just with weapons, but pointing them at human beings who were merely walking past their house? Oh yeah. Those human beings were black. If Ken and Karen have any black friends, I hope they never shoot them.

There was a protest in my town over the weekend. A couple of them actually…in support of the police. Shockingly enough, it was almost entirely white. The police didn’t obstruct these protesters. They didn’t follow them waiting for them to do something bad. They didn’t teargas them. They worked to protect those protesters. They worked to guard a bunch of Karens.

Yes, systemic racism is real. Yes, white privilege is a thing.

How can you tell if you’re a Karen? Are you a rich and entitled white asshole? Are you a non-rich entitled white asshole? Do you not believe in systemic racism? Can you protest against Black Lives Matter and get special treatment from cops? Can you stand in front of your mansion and point guns at peaceful black people without any repercussions?

Also, you may be a Karen if you own a palazzo, whatever the fuck that is.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.