Guns

Loud Boom Boom


cjones01152017

The Republican nimrods in Washington aren’t content with repealing Obamacare, moving the American Embassy in Israel just to piss off Muslims, handing HUD over to a guy they wouldn’t give their car keys to, and stripping ethics out of Congress. Now they want to make it easier to purchase silencers for guns. All future mass shootings will now sound like your neighbor’s Prius.

Not only do Republicans and the friendly monsters at the NRA fight and scramble to make access to firearms as easy as possible for murderers and rednecks with small weenies, now they want to make it easier for them to be sneaky about it.

What’s the deal with gun nuts anyway? They have to have the largest firearms with the most firepower that can shoot the most rounds at the fastest speed possible so they can overcompensate for their dinky manhood, yet they’re too loud for them?

You want to be obnoxious yet be quiet about it? You don’t see bikers going to a Harley Davidson shop and ask if they make quiet models? Bikes, like guns are made so people can be assholes. Don’t be a total wimp about it, Nancy Pants.

I am aware silencers aren’t as quiet as they’re depicted in movies. They don’t actually make a low sharp little “pyew pyew pyew” sound. There’s still a bang but it’s muffled, like a car with a muffler. In fact, the same guy who invented car mufflers invented the silencer. See? I research.

Even though they’re not technically silent, and officially they’re called “suppressors,” and they still “bang,” they’re still a lot quieter than guns without muzzles. Someone could easily fire more rounds in a noisy environment like an airport, night club, Congress, before people are aware there’s another national tragedy occurring. Silencers can also be effective in confusing people as to where the shots are coming from (here’s a clue: Look for the angry white guy).

It’s a dumb idea to make it easier for the public to purchase silencers. It’s bad enough idiots in Texas can’t go to Starbucks without an AK strapped to their back. Gun advocates are claiming it’s a safety issue to protect their hearing. There’s two other ways to protect your hearing from guns. One is to purchase earmuffs. How freaking inconvenient is that? It’s gotta be a lot cheaper than purchasing a silencer. Another way to protect your hearing is to stop shooting guns. Stop going to a gun range. That’s like going to a Nascar event and complaining the cars are loud. Surprise! It’s noisy. Next thing you’re going to do is complain that fish taste fishy.

All the self-styled Rambos and Dirty Harrys out there need to get a grip on something other than a Glock. Their new toys and overcompensation shouldn’t take away the liberty of people to survive.

You wanna silence something? Try Trump’s mouth. That is if they can make a muzzle large enough.

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Second Amendment People


cjones08102016

Trump committed a faux pas and did not mean to say “2nd Amendment people” could stop Hillary Clinton from appointing a Supreme Court justice after she’s elected president. He meant to say “titties.”

Trump has hinted to his gun toting supporters that they can shoot Hillary Clinton if she wins the election. Remember when we thought it was ridiculous when he started a debate talking about his penis? Maybe someone should shoot that. They make really tiny guns, don’t they?

Trump claims Hillary Clinton wants to abolish the Second Amendment and at a rally in North Carolina Tuesday he said “By the way, if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people — maybe there is, I don’t know.” With the outrage of calling for the death of his political opponent everyone has glossed over the lie that Clinton wants to take everyone’s guns away.

How many times has Trump made a statement that his supporters had to explain away, and then a day later Trump attempts to correct the record without apologizing? He wasn’t talking about periods when he said Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her whatever,” he didn’t call Carly Fiorina and Heidi Cruz ugly, he didn’t mock a disabled reporter, he’s never encouraged support from white supremacists, and he’s never called for his supporters to beat up protesters.

Trump’s supporters hate Hillary Clinton and believe the narrative she’s a liar. They say they love Trump because he speaks the truth but he’s really not serious when he makes outrageous comments. Seriously, why do these people have access to guns?

Trump supporters are making excuses for Trump’s dog whistle to shoot Hillary. It’s weird they will distort, take out of context and give new meanings to Clinton’s statement “what difference does it make” and then try to say Trump doesn’t mean “shoot Hillary” when he says “Second Amendment People” can do something about Hillary.

Words matter.

A few years ago Democratic U.S. Representative Gabby Giffords of Arizona was shot in the head by Jared Lee Loughner after Sarah Palin published a bulls eye on her district. 14 other people were injured and six more were killed.

Last year an anti-abortion activists group released a bunch of videos manipulated to look like Planned Parenthood was selling the body parts from dead babies. One of their fans who probably had a subscription to their newsletter, Robert Lewis Dear, took it upon himself to shoot up a clinic in Colorado Springs, killing three people and injuring nine more, and later in court he claimed he was “a warrior for the babies.”

In 1994 president Bill Clinton’s approval ratings were plummeting and the Republicans seized the momentum with an anti-government platform, retook the House and Senate, and convinced their supporters the government was clamping down on them. The fever swelled until April, 1995 when Timothy McVeigh bombed the Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City killing 169 people and injuring 680 more.

Words matter.

They especially matter when you’re talking to a base of uneducated people who are very misinformed, love conspiracy theories, and are more prone to act than think. Who do you think follows and supports Donald Trump? Trump has already hosted a convention where his speakers were yelling for Hillary Clinton to go to prison. Remember, Trump says he loves the uneducated.

Trump has said the system is rigged, and that the election is manipulated if he doesn’t win. Now he’s saying if he loses his supporters should shoot Clinton. This is a dog whistle that everyone can hear. I hope the Secret Service and FBI hears it because we don’t know what kind of dogs Trump has out there.

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Republican Balls


cjones07202016

You can’t bring tennis balls to the Republican convention in Cleveland. You also can’t bring laser pointers, coolers, selfie sticks (that one I support), water cannons, axes, cestuses (Google that), and fireworks. There are 72 items banned from the convention. Guns is not one of them.

The Cleveland police asked the governor to suspend open carry laws, because they apparently don’t believe in that “good guy with a gun” narrative nonsense. Governor John Kasich said no.

I’m watching the convention as I watch this and the theme is “Make America Safe Again.” It’s coming off more as “Make American Paranoid.” They’re talking about death and stoking fears and spreading conspiracy theories. And Republicans wonder how a Donald Trump could become their nominee.

It sounds like a brilliant idea to make everyone paranoid, fearful, and angry in a gun zone.

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Jump In This


cjones06222016

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Zimmerman Murderabilia


cjones05132016

I just realized this is your Friday the 13th cartoon. Could there be a better subject for Friday the 13th than George Zimmerman?

You remember George Zimmerman. He’s that jerk who shot a teenager for walking through his neighborhood in 2012. Zimmy was a volunteer neighborhood watchman and a wannabe Dirty Harry. He’s more like a dangerous Barney Fife.

The Zimster, who was in his late 20’s, called in complaining about teenager Trayvon Martin, who was walking through his neighborhood armed with Skittles and a soda. Zimmerman was told by the police to stand down. George had a habit of calling the police every time something alarming happened in his neighborhood. Black kid in a hoodie better call the cops, frog farts better call the cops, etc. So George is told to not worry about the kid and to wait on police, as if the kid walking was criminal behavior. Instead of standing down, George confronts the kid, who he outweighs by a hundred pounds, and gets into a fight, and ends up shooting and killing Trayvon Martin, because he was in “fear for his life.” Then a jury acquitted him of second-degree murder because it’s Florida and stupid things happen in Florida. The defense argued Zimmerman acted in self defense under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law. This law basically says if you’re in fear for your life you can kill someone.

Conservatives jumped to the defense of Zimmerman. His life was in danger. He was defending the neighborhood. His motives are pure and exceptional.

Since his acquittal George’s motives have not been so pure and exceptional.

In 2013 Zimmerman’s estranged wife called the cops claiming George was threatening her and had punched her father. She later dropped the charges.

Later in the same year George had a girlfriend and he was arrested for aggravated assault with a weapon. According to the girlfriend George was asked to leave her house so he pointed a shotgun at her and started breaking her stuff. He barricaded himself in her home when the cops got there, who have all become familiar with George on a first name basis by this point.

In 2015 he was arrested on aggravated assault charges for throwing a wine bottle at his ex girlfriend. This was a shocking development as everyone assumed his wine would only come from a box. I don’t know if it’s the same girlfriend from the 2013 incident. Maybe this guy has an awesome match.com profile (loves walks on the beach, unicorns, rainbows, probably won’t shoot you). Those charges were later dropped by the girl.

In 2013 George took up painting and sold a piece of his on eBay for $100,099.99. What? I’m sure the buyer didn’t purchase it because of Zimmerman’s connection to killing a kid and the artwork was phenomenal. Turns out the artwork was a forgery. George painted over a stock image of the American flag which you can find for free on the internet. Free is much cheaper than $100,099.99. And to think I’ve wasted over 20 years actually drawing my own stuff for much less than what George received. Of course, I also have not gained the love and affection from those who admire a kid killer.

In 2015 George started selling prints of a painting of the Confederate flag at a store that gained notoriety for banning Muslims. Kid killer, Confederate flag, and Islamophobia. That’s one uplifting combination right there that should warm the cockles of anyone’s heart. If you can’t feel your cockles heating up there’s gotta be something wrong with you. George has received much criticism for his artwork and further allegations of forgery.

George has also spent constructive time on Twitter where he has referred to President Obama as a “baboon.” Replying to death threats, or just people wishing he’d die peacefully without incident, he tweeted “the United States understands how it ended for the last moron that hit me,” which is a reference to him shooting Trayvon Martin. Glad he’s proud of that.

He later retweeted a photo of Trayvon’s slain body with the caption  “Z-Man is a one man army.” I’m glad the remorse isn’t keeping him awake at night.

Not done with Twitter, the “Z-Man” tweeted out a topless photo of a woman he claimed was his ex-girlfriend, along with her address and phone number and the comment “This is [blank]. She cheated on me with a dirty Muslim. She’ll sleep with anyone.” In George’s defense on this one, all evidence does point out that the girl would sleep with anyone.

After being banned from Twitter (suprised?) George had to come up with something else and this week it was a doozy. He decided to auction off the gun he used to shoot Martin. He plans to use some of the money on attacking Hillary Clinton, Black Lives Matter, preventing violence against police, and to destroy the prosecutor’s career who went after him for shooting a 17-year-old kid. Zimmerman claims the gun is a “piece of history.” Much like his artwork, many people consider it murderabilia.

George also claims the Smithsonian wanted to display the gun. The Smithsonian has Twitter also and used it to call B.S. on George. George started the bidding at $5,000 for a gun that has a $200.00 value.

George has encountered difficulty auctioning off his gun. The first auction site where he posted the listing removed it. He posted it again on another auction site which also removed it. The Z-Man has publicity herpes. If you become affiliated with him you’ll acquire it also and it lasts forever. Nobody likes scabby publicity.

I for one am looking forward to Z-Man’s next initiative. My last cartoon received a comment from Clinton accuser Kathleen Willey. Maybe George will also Google himself and find his name here and leave a comment. Aw crap. I just realized Willey is gonna google this again. Hmmm…George and Kathleen. Eh? I mean, they both hate Hillary Clinton.

Wanna see the black and white version? I tried something different.

cjones05132016

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Clarence Gets Chatty


cjones03042016

He speaks!

For over a decade Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has not asked a question during  oral arguments before the court.

A lot of people speculate that it’s because he’s not very intelligent, doesn’t know the cases that well, doesn’t want to embarrass himself, or he just doesn’t care. Others just think he’s sleeping. I don’t think it’s any of that.

Since he first arrived to the court Clarence Thomas had a voting alignment  with Antonin Scalia that was above 80 percent. Some believe he followed Scalia while others think it was the opposite. Thomas has stated that if you wait long enough, someone will ask your question. I believe Scalia covered most of the questions Thomas would have asked. The evidence that lends to my theory is that Thomas felt a need to finally ask a question in the first court session after Scalia’s death.

What might surprise some is that Thomas’ best friend on the court is the liberal Stephen Breyer. Thomas would often pass him notes with his questions so Breyer would ask them.

Thomas’ question was concerning the right of gun ownership for those who have committed domestic violence. I really hope he was playing Devil’s advocate but I kinda doubt it.

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Gun Baby


cjones02282016

The elected lunatics in Iowa want to arm children. Yeah, they think that’s a good idea. They’re actually passing legislation to that effect.

Last year 215 people were accidentally shot by children. Little Junior is a greater threat than ISIS.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!