The Pentagon says it shot down another flying object yesterday over frozen waters off the coast of Alaska. This time, they say it was smaller than the Chinese spy balloon they shot down over the Atlantic Ocean last Saturday, which they described as being as large as three buses. They say the one over Alaska was about the size of a car. They’re also not sure if it’s a balloon or from where it came. They literally shot down an unidentified flying object, a UFO.

Republicans were quick to criticize this even though they don’t have information and as usual, it’s a subject they’re ignorant on.

The difference between the object shot down yesterday and the balloon shot down Saturday is that the balloon was flying at around 65,000 feet which isn’t dangerous to anyone. The car-sized object was flying at around 40,000 feet which puts air traffic in extreme danger.

What Republicans should do is start criticizing President Biden for shooting this object down before we know what it is. What if it was a craft from outer space carrying diplomats to make peace and for some fucked up reason were confused and thought Sarah Palin was a being of higher intelligence, thus explaining why they were flying over Alaska? And then along comes Joe and shoots them down when they’re bringing the cure for cancer and free tacos for the entire planet.

Now, thanks to Joe Biden, we’ll never get the cure for cancer or those free space tacos. Even worse, he probably pissed off the beings from Karplaxghanistan, and now they’re pissed. What if one of those aliens was the son of the king of Karplaxghanistan and now he seeks revenge against us?

Now, they’re going to come down here with their higher technology, eat most of us, and put the rest to work in their sugar mines. Fuck.

Thanks, a lot, Brandon. Thanks. A. Lot.

Creative note: I do these space cartoons from time to time and I recently did one where I went crazy with the Easter eggs. The details inside the main spaceship are the same, but everything outside the cockpit is different. And no, I don’t want to tell you what’s out there. Get to you, you.

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