Farmer Bang Bang


During the 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump said he could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and he wouldn’t lose any voters. He was right, but at that time, he would have lost support from his party. Today, he could shoot farmer after farmer and the GOP would only yawn (unless it was a black guy and then they’d get excited).

Trump’s not going to shoot anyone on Fifth Avenue. If he shoots anyone, it’ll be in a soybean field in Iowa, and then maybe a stockbroker on Wall Street.

Republicans used to be all about free trade and anti tariffs. They’ve always argued that tariffs are taxes on American consumers and nobody wins a trade war. They were right. Today, they’ve sacrificed their previous position, just as they’ve expunged their positions on law and order, patriotism, defense, morals, etc. as if they underwent a political colonic.

Today, after China retaliated by raising $60 billion in tariffs on American goods, Trump said he “likes the position we’re in.” You have to remember, this is a guy who “liked the position he was in” when he shut down the government for 30 days before losing a negotiation with Democrats. We are putting our stock, our businesses, our economy, our farms, and our people in a guy who won’t accept that Americans pay for tariffs.

A trade war will hurt both countries, but it will be felt more by American consumers and the politicians they vote for. In case you’re a Republican, nobody votes in China and there’s not a free press that can criticize President Xi Jinping or even report facts that are critical of his positions. The only pressure President Xi is under is, don’t lose a trade war with an orange shitgibbon. Xi is basically president for life, but losing a negotiation to an idiot like Donald Trump could very well shorten that life.

Farmers who voted for Trump are typical Trump cultists. They’ll continue to believe in Trump, even as soybeans from last year are rotting in storage because there’s no longer a market for them. But maybe around the point that they’re literally losing the farm, they might realize this entire Trump experiment isn’t working out. They may actually realize that Donald Trump is a malignant narcissist who only cares about the malignant narcissist. His current welfare plan for farmers is only designed to uphold their support of him, but that won’t last. How long can you borrow money from China to help farmers not sell their crops to China?

Unfortunately for me and you, nearly everything we own is made in China. If we could buy crap made cheaper in Vietnam, Thailand, and Indonesia, we would. We are cheap consumers. We haven’t been holding off from buying products made in thirder-world nations than China because of loyalty or ethics. We’re cheap. We would have already been doing it.

Trump may not feel any pressure from other consumers because fortunately for him, his supporters aren’t known for shopping at Wal-Mart (insert eye roll here).

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Trump Trade War

cjones04092018I watched Anderson Cooper interview Roger Stone last night on CNN, and Stone said that Trump is his own wordsmith. Are you kidding me? Trump can’t even spell “Smith.”

Someone commented on this blog earlier this week and took issue with the first sentence where I wrote about Trump’s stupidity. The reader leaving the comment said I’d probably have more readers if I didn’t start my columns with such a biased statement. That person might want to stop reading today’s entry right now.

Donald Trump is stupid. I don’t think it’s biased to believe he’s stupid. The man doesn’t know the difference between vocational schools and community colleges. He believes there are invisible airplanes. I’m still amazed people can support him, as being dumb is just a part of his collection of horrible traits. When you add corruption, treason, nepotism, lies, self-obsession, thin skin, immaturity, bad taste, and racism, the stupidity just compounds the danger our nation is in. And then, you have the illiteracy.

Donald Trump cannot read. OK, that’s not fair. He can read, but it’s at a third or fourth grade level. We decided to take the issues of national security, the economy, trade, Russia, North Korea, immigration, and hand it off to be solved by a guy who can’t read.

Sycophants support this. They support just about every dumb thing Trump does, and they make excuses for it, lie about it, or rejoice in it. Now, they can excuse, lie, or rejoice in the fact that many of them will be the hardest hit by Trump’s trade war with China.

In retaliation for Trump’s increased tariffs on that nation, China has imposed large sanctions on American products and agriculture. The bulk of these tariffs hit red Trump country. Trump has always complained that China’s leaders were smarter than ours. Well, they are now.

Trump is right that the disparity in trade between us and China is an issue, but he’s not the first politician to notice this. It can’t be dealt with as a challenge to his ego. He claims we’re not in a trade war, while he raises, tariffs, China retaliates by raising tariffs on us, and then he talks about raising them even more. Have you seen the stock market this week?

Trump’s policies are creating a trickle-down that’s going to trickle on all of us. But, it’s not going to be the good kind of trickle. It’ll be more like the kind Trump paid prostitutes for in a Moscow hotel room.

Nobody wins a trade war. Unfortunately, we have a president too stupid to understand that.

Here’s the video.

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Bang Bang Babies


Several world leaders have already had the displeasure of meeting with Donald Trump. I feel especially bad for China’s president, Xi Jinping, as that poor bastard has to meet with Trump and Kim Jong Un of North Korea.

For years the world has been afraid of an ill-tempered, irrational, immature tyrant with ridiculous hair who has nuclear weapons. Now there are two of them.

While conservatives, liberals, and member of the press alike are waving their pom-poms cheering Trump’s missile strike against Syria, it should truly scare the living hell out of all of us.

Trump chooses to be motivated by pictures of dead babies, and emotionless toward others. If he can be moved to enact the U.S. military by pictures on CNN (or in his case, Fox News), my god, what will he do if something bad gets exposed in North Korea? If Kim attacks a Kentucky Fried Chicken we’re going to war.

Creating a few potholes in a runway in Syria will only move Assad to kill more of his own people. He won’t attack the United States. Kim Jong Un kills his own people just because it’s Tuesday. The North Koreans have cultivated an environment where families turn on each other for survival. Kim will not kill his own people to send us a message as we already got that message. He’s usually content with exploding nukes in his own nation and shooting missiles into the Sea of Japan. If Trump bombs one of his runways then Kim will want to make a bolder statement.

We don’t understand Kim Jong Un. We don’t understand Donald Trump. That’s because we’re not three-years-old. Are they teething or need to poop? Who knows why they’re cranky.

The only way to get to North Korea is through China, literally and figuratively. We need diplomacy to make that journey. Unfortunately our diplomatic measures are led by Donald Trump.

That’s truly worth crying about.

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Big Trouble In Little China


Before Japan invaded China in World War II China was in the midst of a civil war between the nationalist government and communist. They ceased fighting each other (somewhat) to fight the Japanese. After the war they picked up where they left off and when the commies won the nationalist fled to the island of Formosa (now Taiwan) and both declared themselves the rightful rulers of all of China.

The Peoples Republic of China (PRC) rules the mainland and most nations recognize them (they have a permanent seat on the United Nation’s Security Council, they have a large military, everybody does business with them, they own 17 % of U.S. debt, etc).

The Republic of China (ROC) rules the island and they’re only recognized by 22 nations. Interesting note: The Vatican recognizes them but embassies to them have to be located in Rome, so Taiwan’s embassy to the Vatican is technically located in a nation that doesn’t recognize them. It’s kinda like the New York’s Jets and Giants being located in New Jersey…and New Jersey refused to acknowledge their existence.

The U.S. does not recognize Taiwan and the PRC is really touchy about it. We can’t even pretend to give them credibility. So when Dumbass-Elect took a phone call from the ROC (which his staff initiated) it didn’t sit well with China and was another display of the man’s ignorance. He’s not doing well with foreign diplomacy. He told the British Prime Minister “If you travel to the US, you should let me know,” and then proceeded to tell her who she should appoint as ambassador to the U.S. He told Pakistan’s president during their “fantastic” phone call that he wants to visit their nation (lots of issues with that. A lot).

Appointing Nazis to his cabinet, naming a Secretary of Defense who’s legally prohibited from taking the job, naming an Attorney General who doesn’t support voting rights, a Secretary of Education who hates public education, and Ben Dr. Doofus Carson as Secretary of HUD, the man’s transition wouldn’t be complete without starting World War III by committing a snafu.

A president-elect does not do what Trump does. While retweeting tweets from 16-year-olds and tweeting criticism at Saturday Night Live and Alec Baldwin, Trump doesn’t have time for intelligence briefings. His chat with the president of Taiwan shows that Donald Trump can’t afford to miss intelligence briefings.

Placing national security and U.S. relations in turmoil is worth the risk to Donald Trump if he can get a phone call to receive a compliment.

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Chinese Democracy


I was talking to a guy last week who told me if George W. Bush was in charge we’d be taking care of Russia and the Ukraine situation and have troops in Hong Kong fighting China. George W. Bush couldn’t even stop the tragedy of Guns And Roses album Chinese Democracy less enough deal with Hong Kong’s Chinese Democracy.

A week or so ago cartoonist were drawing kilts covering the Scotland independence vote. This week they’re drawing dragons. I didn’t think the world needed another.