Elvis

Mythical Audits


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I have serious doubts that Donald Trump’s taxes have been under audit since 2015. First off, he’s not whining about it. He hasn’t been tweeting and screaming at the IRS for unfairly attacking him. He hasn’t accused the IRS of being a part of the “deep state” and going after him from directions by Obama and Hillary Clinton. So far, the IRS’s audit of him isn’t the greatest travesty ever committed against an American president and it’s not time to investigate the IRS. The second reason I have doubts is that this audit has been ongoing since 2015.

House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Richard Neal has asked the IRS for six years of Trump’s tax returns. Neal made the request through an obscure but frequently used provision of the federal tax code that allows Congress’s tax-writing committees to view tax information on any filer. Trump and Republicans are up in arms over this.

Donald Trump has refused to release his taxes. With the exception of Gerald Ford, Trump was and is the only major party candidate not to release his taxes over the past forty years. Ford didn’t totally dodge the issue as he did release tax data. Trump’s lawyer, playing whatabout, asked, “Why is he not requesting information about the audits of previous presidents?” Previous presidents released their taxes, fucknut.

Trump has claimed he can’t release his taxes because they’re under audit. Do you really believe that the guy who claimed his New York-born father was born in Germany is telling the truth about the audit? Even if he is telling the truth, there is nothing that prevents him from releasing his taxes during an audit.

Trump’s former lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen told Congress, “What he didn’t want was to have an entire group of think tanks that are tax experts run through his tax return and start ripping it to pieces, and then he’ll end up in an audit and he’ll ultimately have taxable consequences, penalties, and so on.”

The IRS does make it a practice to audit the president’s returns so Trump’s recent filings may be under audit…but the Treasury Department is headed by Steve Mnuchin. While the IRS is supposed to be independent, this is the Trump era. Have you seen the Justice Department? Any audit happening right now by the IRS is an investigation of their boss. Congress has a right to review that. As it turned out, despite an audit, Nixon had underpaid.

Richard Nixon was under audit and stated, “People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I’m not a crook.” Then, Nixon allowed Congress to examine his taxes WHILE they were under that audit. That debunks Trump’s claim that he can’t release his taxes. Trump’s lawyers promise to fight the release despite Congress having the authority to request them.

Maybe if you’re a Republican, you don’t have a problem with a president not releasing his taxes while also doing business with foreign nations. Trump sycophants don’t need oversight of the president or accountability. If it turns out the president is a crook, they won’t care.

Trump is afraid his taxes will expose where his money comes from. People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Why would anyone want to surrender that right?

Trump is also afraid it’ll be revealed he’s not as rich as he claims. We already know he’s not a great businessman, a great negotiator, or has the best brain. But the faith his supporters put into him, despite overwhelming evidence, is based upon him being rich. Trump is their idea of a billionaire and it doesn’t matter how racist, stupid, immature, or insecure he is because he’s rich. A poor 72-year-old would never get away with acting the way Trump does. What if it turns out he’s just a senile old man who’s rich, but not billionaire rich? Would his supporters lose faith? Would it destroy everything they believed in? Trump not being a billionaire might be the one thing that finally destroys his support from the wingnut base. For them, his not being rich would be far worse than his being a crook.

As Nixon said, “People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook.” As it turned out, he was a crook. So is Donald Trump…and he’s not really a billionaire.

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The Seduction Of Ted Cruz


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I don’t know what’s less believable. Five women slept with Ted Cruz or that you can find five women who would admit it.

Yeah, I know. I already drew a cartoon this week on the icky bed lovin’ of Ted Cruz but that was before the National Enquirer came out with their story that Teddy Bear has been getting a whole bunch of action on the side. Did you just raise one eyebrow in disbelief or did you get all gleeful at the prospect of dirt on Ted Cruz?

I could join in on that glee business at the expense of Cruz’s political career. It would be awesome. But two things: I don’t care about his sex life and I’m much more concerned about the disaster he wants to inflict upon this nation. Four years of a Cruz administration would force the entire nation to do a walk of shame. I’m just not really interested in living in a theocracy led by Ted Cruz, whose wife and father believe is a divine messenger from God. Yeeks! That is a bigger concern than where he’s been putting Little Ted.

The second thing is, I don’t believe the Enquirer story. You’ll bring up the argument that the National Enquirer has been proven right on John Edwards, Gary Hart, Tiger Woods and a few others. OK so they’ve been right maybe three or four times…throughout their entire history.

The National Enquirer has a silent policy of no criticism of Donald Trump. They have also endorsed Trump which seems fair since their publication is probably his only news source, and odd that the National Enquirer is endorsing. That might be a reason not to vote for someone. The guy who provided this salacious information on Cruz has a history of playing dirty political tricks and he’s a good friend of The Donald, something Ted doesn’t have, friends.

The only thing that actually makes it somewhat believable is Ted Cruz’s denial. He came out strong, angry and blamed Trump. He even gave Trump a nickname, “Sleazy Donald,” which is fair since Trump keeps calling him “Lyin’ Ted.” I think these two should meet at the bike racks after school and fight it out. Trump blamed Cruz for the super pac ad of his wife, so I guess they’re even there. Trump attacks Heidi Cruz. Super pac attacks Melania Trump. Poor attention starved John Kasich is probably wondering why nobody ever calls his wife a “ho.”

None of the alleged paramours are named. Their photos are pixilated which has everyone guessing. Names are being tossed around. Normal journalism ethics are tossed out in the tabloid’s reporting, which is standard to the National Enquirer.

Sure I could be wrong on this but I’m not going to convict on such shoddy evidence.

How long until Trump brags that his mistresses are better looking than Cruz’s booty calls?

If other cartoonists read my blog they’d probably get six or seven cartoon ideas from each post.

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