Yesterday, the White House Coronavirus Task Force held their first briefing in 8 weeks. You do remember those, right? As it turns out, Dr. Deborah Birx has not been abducted by aliens. These briefings were ended after Donald Trump suggested everybody drink bleach and Drano to kill the coronavirus.
But, the administration was forced to say something about the virus since the first wave won’t go away, southern states fucked up by reopening too fast with some starting to scale back (no alcohol in bars in Florida and Texas), cases are increasing, but most of all, because Donald Trump is about 15 points behind Joe Biden in national polls and behind him in every swing state. He’s even behind Biden in places like Texas, Georgia, and Mississippi. And Biden has rarely left his house.
Donald Trump has been a huge failure with handling the coronavirus. As cases decrease in first-world countries, they’re increasing here. Right now, Haiti believes we’re a shithole country.
Donald Trump won’t push masks, instead, pushing conspiracy theories. He’s staged two rallies in states where cases are spiking. He refuses to accept the number of cases or deaths as facts. He’d rather scream about antifa, demonstrate to his base he can lift a glass of water with one hand (with some difficulty), and yell racist terms in churches. To be fair, it was just one church.
So who did they trot out for yesterday’s press briefing on the virus? Mike Pence. It went about as well as could be expected. If you weren’t sick before watching it, you were after. It was also a good opportunity for a jaded, pessimistic cynic like me to practice shouting at his TV.
Mike Pence has to be the most squeamish, sycophantic, ass-kissing, shitweasel toady worm in the history of Washington, D.C. Yesterday’s briefing proved it.
First, the worm comes out and says, “as we stand here today, all 50 states and territories across this country are opening up safely and responsibly.”
No, they’re not. You lying weasel shitfuck. While Texas and Florida have closed their bars, the Lone Star State has ordered restaurants to limit seating to 50% capacity, gatherings of at least 100 people have to seek approval, and they’ve ordered their rafting and tubing businesses to close. You can’t go tubing in Texas but you can still get a haircut. Maine has postponed reopening bars.
Bars are cesspools. Here in Virginia, I did visit a bar down the street from my apartment and masks are being worn by servers and everyone is social distancing. And the place next door that sells amazing gyros, they are not. At another bar farther down the street, NOBODY is wearing a face mask or social distancing. I’m not going back because…damn. It’s like they forgot they were all unemployed for three months and they don’t mind going back to that status.
Other states that are pausing reopening plans or extending phases are Louisiana, North Carolina, Idaho, Nevada, and New Mexico. Funny thing, most of these states are red states. Huh.
Captain Brown Nose also lied and said, “we flattened the curve.”
They only thing he flattened was his principles, pride, and his spine. What a lying goober. The United States reported 36,975 new cases on Wednesday and 41,113 new cases on Thursday, setting daily records both days. In Houston, intensive care units are out of beds. That is NOT flattening.
Then, that lying motherfucker (literally) said, “We want the American people to understand it’s almost inarguable that more testing is generating more cases. To one extent or another, the volume of new cases coming in is a reflection of a great success in expanding more testing across the country.”
Inarguable? Infuckingarguable? This might be the biggest lie that’s ever come out of the Trump administration, which says a lot. Here, Poodle bitch Pence is repeating his boss’ lie that testing creates more cases.
No, no, no, no, no!!!! Testing does not create cases. You don’t go into a clinic clean then catch it because you took a test. There are more cases of coronavirus because of the virus spreading. Not testing. No wonder Europe doesn’t want Americans to enter their freaking continent. Because our leaders are saying stupid shit like this an entire fucking continent is saying to us, “NOPE.”
Pence said, “Fatalities are decreasing all across the country.”
No, they’re not. While they have decreased nationally, you can’t say “across the country” because they’re either holding steady or…wait for it…increasing in places like California, Arizona, Florida, North Carolina, and Texas. Again, mostly red states.
And then, and then, and then, that lying white-haired constipated-looking piece of….grrrrr…advised that everyone listens to their local government for guidance. What? Did they listen to local guidance in the past two rallies where cases are spiking? Did they listen to the local government in Tulsa that said, “please don’t come here?” Did they listen to the local government in Phoenix that said, “face masks are required?” No. They held their two little hate rallies coughed spittle all over each other and contaminated the Secret Service.
And, the suck-up Trump goon did not mention face masks or social distancing, even though that’s the two main pieces of advice from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. When asked why the Trump campaign doesn’t mandate social distancing or wearing face masks at their hate rallies where the president (sic) shouts racist slurs, the most sickening, lapdog, lickspittle vice president in the history of the United States said, “Freedom of speech, the right to peacefully assemble is enshrined in the constitution of the United States. And we have an election coming up this fall.”
What the hell does any of that have to do with wearing face masks or social distancing?
We have to replace this stupid shit. Donald Trump is destroying this nation and you have people like Mike Pence enabling and helping him. A crisis, especially a pandemic, is hard enough for adults to deal with. Here, we have children. Stupid, racist children.
How anyone can still support Donald Trump boggles my mind and in fact, that in itself is an infection. It’s time to kill it.
And yes, Mike Pence is the biggest spineless worm in the history of Washington, D.C.
But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.
Watch me draw.