Coronavirus

The Usual MAGAts


Cjones06042021

One of my conservative colleagues (who recently blocked me on Facebook for asking why he was enabling racists and terrorists) has a new cartoon showing quotes from Dr. Anthony Fauci that appear to contradict. Of course, they’re all on the virus with, “Don’t wear a mask/wear a mask” being an example.”

I remember that. I remember when the scientists said don’t wear a mask and they thought it was more trouble than it was worth. Then as more facts came in, they said for the love of God, wear a face mask. Once, we thought we were mailing the virus to each other. But the thing is, the science doesn’t change. What changes is our knowledge.

Conservatives have been painting Dr. Fauci as a bad guy for over a year, not just because he’s the bearer of bad news but because Donald Trump told them to go after him. My colleague is not an idiot but he’s willing to present himself as one to appease the Trump base. That’s his audience. And like every conservative commentator who supports Donald Trump, he has a base of racists, cultists, and terrorists.

What Trumpers are focusing on is that Fauci once argued against the theory the virus was created artificially in a lab but today, he’s saying he’s not convinced it happened naturally.

In 2020, Fauci said, “If you look at the evolution of the virus in bats and what’s out there now, the scientific evidence is very, very strongly leaning toward this could not have been artificially or deliberately manipulated.”

Now leakers in China have revealed lab technicians were infected in that country back in 2019, Dr. Fauci is saying, “Certainly, the people who’ve investigated have said it likely was the emergence from an animal reservoir that then infected individuals, but, it could have been something else, and we need to find that out.”

Why is Dr. Fauci’s position moving? For one, he’s not a narcissist or a politician. He can move his position, which he’s doing based on science. He can change his mind and it’s his job to tell us what he believes to be true, not gaslight us if more information contradicts previous statements. This is something tribal people don’t understand. If you say one thing, you’re supposed to stick to it until the end of time…like wedding vows or loyalty to sports teams. Or at the very least, when you change your position, deny you ever said anything else. That’s the MAGAt way.

Another thing the MAGAts are trumping about, is that Trump claimed the virus was created in a lab. So now, they’re telling us Donald Trump was right all along. No. He was not. And even if he was, he was only lucky.

When Donald Trump claimed the virus was made in a lab, he did it to scapegoat China and to change the conversation from the horrible job he was doing and the fact he didn’t have a clue on how to deal with a pandemic. He said it without any information. He was spreading hate. He was implying it was made intentionally and sent here to destroy us. Dr. Fauci is not saying this.

In my colleague’s cartoon, he shows that Fauci once said the virus wasn’t dangerous to us…and then told us it was. This is true. But when Dr. Fauci told us not to worry about the virus, he also said it was something to take seriously and to keep our eye on. Of course, my colleague doesn’t quote Donald Trump when he said the virus will “magically disappear” or the multiple times he said it was nothing…or a “Democratic hoax.” He doesn’t point out the time Donald Trump suggested we should all be drinking bleach.

Donald Trump lied about the virus. He admitted to Bob Woodward he downplayed it after he was informed it was dangerous. He left the nation unprepared. His biggest response was to attack others and disregard the virus. Donald Trump let people die. The science points to that.

And in case you’re keeping score, Fauci never caught the virus. Donald Trump did while flouting safety precautions. Trumpers aren’t mentioning that detail.

If conservatives really believed Donald Trump was right all along about the virus, then they’d have been drinking bleach…and they wouldn’t be here to tell us Donald Trump was right about the virus.

Creative note: I feel kinda bad because not only have I done two cartoons with TVs in a row, but I’ve done two with bar scenes. I had this idea before I thought of the one I did yesterday. But, I really liked it and didn’t want to wait longer. Bars and TVs are my sinking ships and cliffs.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Pandemic Tan Lines


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

If you think you have already seen this cartoon, you’re probably right. Last Friday, cartoonist Clay Bennett of the Chattanooga Times Free Press did a cartoon of President Joe Biden with the mask tan line. It’s an excellent cartoon. Bennett has a Pulitzer Prize, has been a finalist for the award about 87 times, and has won or placed in every cartoon contest there is. He’s probably won state awards in states he’s never lived in. I think he even placed in a dog contest once for best groomed. Seriously, he may be the most awarded political cartoonist in the history of political cartooning. He’s good.

I drew my cartoon on Friday. The idea was submitted along with seven other ideas. My CNN cartoons run with the opinion newsletter on Sunday. In case you’re a Republican, that means I have a day to wait between drawing and publication of the cartoon. In that gap on Saturday, I saw Clay Bennett’s tan-line cartoon. I checked the time he posted his cartoon on Facebook Friday and compared it to when I sent my rough to my editor, just to cover my tracks. I sent my idea two hours earlier than Bennett had posted his. Trust me, I’m not psychic. Cartoonists can’t worry too much about this stuff because you can’t do much about it, but you still check just to cover your ass later.

Sometimes, you’re the cartoonist who gets there first and other times, you follow. Every cartoonist has been on both ends of it while always wanting to avoid the whole thing altogether. You want to draw a cartoon so original that no one else is capable of thinking of it. That’s what I try to do every day even though I don’t always succeed.

I first saw Bennett’s at GoComics early Saturday morning. I decided to send the link to my editor and let him decide if we should pull it or not. If mine had come out at the same time as Bennett’s, I wouldn’t have worried about it, but I had a whole day to wait behind his before my cartoon would be published. I also contacted Clay Bennett to let him know what was happening and to let him know I didn’t swipe from him, which I knew he would know, but I still wanted to give him the professional courtesy of a heads-up. He was very professional about it and said he actually expected someone else to come up with the same idea. It happens.

Still, I was irrationally angry at Clay Bennett for having the same idea as me even though he had no idea what I was drawing. I’m also mad at his mother for naming him Clay nearly a decade before I was born.

The opinion staff at CNN decided to keep my version since it did feature different characters and had a different message. You can argue that Bennett’s version triumphed a victory for President Biden while mine was documenting it as a national achievement, not just a personal one. We also decided to throw in the vaccination card which I now believe makes the cartoon stronger. Adding that detail a day later is the reason why the hand is so tiny, in case you were wondering about that Trumpian detail.

I wanted to say something about both cartoons because I know some readers will think I stole this from Clay Bennett. Hell, some readers will think he stole his from me even though he published first. So maybe writing this helps him out too. Trust me on this: I know I don’t steal ideas and I know Clay Bennett doesn’t either, at least not from other cartoonists. Good cartoonists only steal from themselves…and not very often.

Maybe next Friday I’ll call Clay Bennett and ask, “Hey, what are you doing?” just to make sure I’m not doing the same thing. And then I’ll call his mom.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tucker Abuse


Cjones05112021

Covid deniers, the anti-maskers, and the anti-vaxxers are playing the whining game over faux abuse for being flat Earthers. They claim they’re being scorned by society and assaulted for not getting vaccinated and for not wearing face masks. They argue it’s their body and their choice, overlooking that their choice affects other people’s bodies.

Numerous videos have been posted on social media of Kens and Karens wailing inside businesses that require them to wear face masks. These are the same people who champion the rights of a bakery to refuse to make gay wedding cakes. Why does a cake have to straight or gay? Why can’t there just be wedding cakes?

The truth is, nobody is being persecuted for not wearing a face mask or for refusing to be vaccinated. One of the fucknuts who comments on my videos equated discrimination against anti-vaxxers to the Holocaust. As if being seated in a germy section of a restaurant is the same as being ripped from your home, having all your possessions taken, put into forced labor, murdered by the millions, and having your body used to make soap. We already discriminate against smokers. Why can’t we seat anti-vaxxers into the shitty section of restaurant next to the bathrooms? And let’s make those bathrooms unisex just to piss them off further.

I am probably the biggest advocate for treating anti-vaxxers differently. I don’t see anyone on cable news arguing to discriminate against these Flat Earthers. Maybe one or two people believe they should be seated last on an airplane while I think we should make those fuckers walk. I’m willing to meet you half way on this and put them all on Greyhound.

There is no abuse or persecution of people for not wearing face masks. But, there is one guy on cable news advocating for attacking people who are wearing face masks. Of course, I’m talking about Tucker Carlson.

Tucker Carlson is a horrible person. He’s also an idiot. A couple weeks ago on his TV show that’s number one in ratings for Klansmen, he pushed the idea of bullying people for wearing face masks, calling anyone wearing a facemask “liberal zealots” and “neurotics.”

Tucker is fighting to prolong the pandemic. He’s continuing to politicize the pandemic and the effort to return to normal. Tucker is working against our nation. He’s advocating to broaden a public health crisis that’s killed over 580,000 people in this nation.

It gets worse. Tucker argued that making a child wear a face mask outside is child abuse. He said, “As for forcing children to wear masks outside, that should be illegal. Your response when you see children wearing masks as they play should be no different from your response to seeing someone beat a kid in Walmart. Call the police immediately, contact child protective services. Keep calling until someone arrives. What you’re looking at is abuse, it’s child abuse and you are morally obligated to attempt to prevent it.”

“If it’s your own children being abused, then act accordingly. Let’s say your kids school emailed you and announced that every day after lunch, your sixth-grader was going to get punched in the face by a teacher. How would you respond to that? That’s precisely how you should respond when they tell you that your kids have to wear masks on the soccer field. That is unacceptable, it is dangerous, and we should act like it because it is. But too few of us have responded like that, we have been shamefully passive in the face of all of this.”

Tucker is a bully and he’s advocating his viewers to be bullies. He wants everyone to be like Marjorie Taylor Greene and stalk children and scream at them. He wants you to traumatize children by calling the cops on their parents. It’ll be like that lady who called police because she saw black people having a picnic in a public park. And the worst part is, the police showed up.

There are probably police in North Carolina who will respond to a hateful idiot like Tucker over parents having their kids wear face masks. Personally, I think we should call the cops on parents who force their children into mullets.

Tucker also believes seeing someone outdoors in a face masks is like seeing a man “expose himself in public.” Fantasizing it was happening to him, Tucker said, “That’s disgusting, put it away please, we don’t do that here.” It seems he put a lot of thought into this naked man in public thing. Why is Tucker obsessed with naked men? It’s not like seeing a woman expose herself in public? Does Tucker count penises to fall asleep? Live on TV, he was fantasizing about naked men. Go figure.

Tucker told his viewers to walk up to people wearing a mask outside, not just over their children wearing one, and say, “Your mask is making me uncomfortable.” Here’s a fact: If I’m wearing a mask outdoors, the only thing it has to do with you is that it’s keeping you safe.

If you’re outside away from people or in a small group, the CDC says you can take your mask off. But if you’re uncomfortable with that, go ahead and wear your face mask. Why should anyone care? If my face mask is making you uncomfortable, then does that give me the right to tell you that your MAGA shirt is making me uncomfortable? Can I tell assholes toting guns around in public they’re making me uncomfortable? What about an asshole in a car with his windows down playing Toby Keith? Can I scream at that guy?

Sure, if a guy is outside with his penis exposed and he’s shaking it at you, you have a right to be uncomfortable. But it’s not the same thing as wearing a face mask.

I’m not in favor of changing health policy based on what makes Tucker Carlson comfortable. That’s how it is with these white conservative men who are selfish. It’s all about what makes them comfortable. It also applies to when their white privilege is threatened. They championed Kyle Rittenhouse driving across state lines because protesting against police violence made them uncomfortable. Donald Trump tear-gassed a crowd outside the White House for a photo-op and because they made him uncomfortable. Several states are now crafting legislation making it legal to run over protesters for making you uncomfortable.

Tucker equated wearing a face mask to punching a child in the face. Hmmmm. I’m thinking Tucker has never actually been punched in the face and that makes me very sad. How is it possible that a fucker like Tucker has never been punched in the face? How do you look like THIS and never get punched in the face? Oh yeah, Swiss boarding schools and white privilege. Perhaps he should be punched in the face just so he knows how wrong his comparison of face punches and face masks is. Punching Tucker Carlson in the face would actually be a public service since he has a nightly show where he attempts to provide Nazis with “information.” If he understands that being punched in the face is nothing like wearing a face mask, that would be a good thing for Fox News viewers and even Tucker. He might even thank you. Tucker Carlson needs a punch in the face. Society demands it. Can we get #PunchTuckerCarlsonInTheFace trending?

So, any volunteers to educate Tucker and punch him in the face?

Creative note: Yes, those are cicadas in the cartoon. And where are they? It’s May 8 and they’re not here yet. If I don’t get some cicadas soon, I’m going to demand a cicada refund.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Vaccine Incentives


Cjones05072021

A little over 30 percent of the population of the United States has been vaccinated. According to the Center for Disease Control, 105,523,520 of us had been vaccinated by 6:00 AM, May 3. Since I got my second vaccination yesterday, we are at least at 105,523,521. Now, President Joe Biden wants 70 percent of us to have received at least one shot by July 4th, making that day not just a celebration of American independence, but also independence from COVID19.

Only problem with reaching that goal is there are not enough of us wanting the vaccine. Supplies of vaccines are not the problem. Demand is. Let’s not be like India, which exported more vaccines than it was giving to its population.

Everyone who wanted the vaccine before the rollout has probably received at least one shot by now. There are all sorts of reasons why people refuse to get the vaccine. Some refuse out of politics and others refuse out of fear. All of it’s misplaced. You probably have a greater chance of dying from whatever you’re doing right now than from receiving the vaccine. For the record, nobody has died from reading this blog yet.

Last night, I was watching the handoff from Chris Cuomo’s show to Don Lemon’s on CNN. That’s my favorite part of the night. During this one, they both said they wanted to see incentives for people who have received the vaccine. This is very unpopular with the MAGAts but I think it’s a wonderful idea.

Some states and businesses are offering incentives. Some Dunkin Donuts locations are offering free donuts. I saw somewhere that Budweiser is offering a free beer. If you’re a genuine beer lover, you should get the vaccine despite that.

State employees in Maryland are getting $100 for being vaxxed which is like when my former employer offered every smoker a hundred bucks to quit that filthy habit…back when newspapers had a hundred bucks. The city of Detroit is giving a prepaid debit card worth $50 to anyone giving someone else a ride to get the vax. New Jersey is offering a shot (a whiskey shot, dummy) and a beer to everyone getting the vax. In Los Angeles, a City Council member and a multi-faith cultural arts center is offering a free bag of produce which doesn’t sound enticing at all unless that produce is the Devil’s Lettuce.

Dr. Megan Ranney, an emergency physician at Brown University who specializes in public health research, said, “As humans we often respond better to carrots than sticks.” Still, I think we should take some sticks and beat those fuckers refusing to get the vax.

While these incentives are being promoted, what’s being overlooked is that the vaccine is already free. Nobody is giving you a free toaster to open a bank account here. They’re offering incentives for a free vaccine to save your life, the lives of people around you, and your country.

The biggest whiners, those screaming about “liberating” the country, and that their freedom has been assaulted because they have to wear a face mask to Jiffy Lube are the same exact people refusing to get the vaccine. Some Republicans are also making legislation to hurt the rollout. Florida’s dumbass racist governor, Ron DeSantis, is making vaccine passports illegal in his backward state. We should have vaccine passports.

By the way, all I got yesterday for getting the vax was a rubber wristband reading, “Got the shot.” Is that enough proof to get me into New York City?

What Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo were talking about is that people who have received the vaccine should actually be treated better. I agree.

I got the vaccine. I had to take two trips out of my schedule to do it. I did it for myself but I also did it for my community and my nation. Does that make me a hero and a patriot? Why, yes. Yes it does. Does it make me better than those refusing to get the vaccine? Once again, yes it does.

People who care about other people are better than those who don’t. If you’re a jerk who only thinks about himself, yes. We are better than you. And I’m normally a pretty selfish guy. Ask my ex-girlfriend.

People who are getting the vaccine know that reaching herd immunity will open the nation faster. It will get us back to normal, or at least something close to it. We’re not doing it just for ourselves. People refusing to do so are being selfish.

I had an online conversation with one of my conservative colleagues recently and every reason he gave for not being vaccinated was about him. He thought it was too much of a risk to HIM and said that HE didn’t need it. Nobody was going to tell HIM what to do because HE was a freedom lover. He didn’t once mention anyone else. He’s a selfish asshole.

So, when I and that selfish asshole get to the gate at the airport at the same time, they should let me on first. When we get to a restaurant at the same time, I should be seated first. Maybe make an incentive that everyone at the airport who hasn’t been vaxxed gets a body cavity search. Maybe at Amtrak stations too…and restaurants. At Taco Bell, you’ll be screaming, “That’s not a chalupa!”

I’m not making this about me. I’m making this about all of us.

Those of us trying to get back to normal, who are doing our part, should get some perks. Not because we’re awesome but because, quite frankly, we’re a lot safer to deal with…in addition to being awesome. If I owned a restaurant, I would rather seat vaccinated people than contaminated motherfuckers.

I’m not saying red carpets should be rolled out for us…just that we should come first because we did more. If you’re in a boat lost at sea with a crew, and everybody helps paddle to shore except for one jerk, then that jerk should be made to get off the boat last, if not thrown overboard. The people refusing to be vaccinated are not helping the country, but they sure are the loudest about it.

If you really want this nation to reopen, to be “liberated,” then get the fucking vax, you whiny ass baby. Also, stop wearing your face mask with your nose sticking out. That’s just obnoxious and it really pisses me off.

And everyone who does get the vax should be given a bag of produce…a bag of rotten produce to pelt the anti-vaxxers.

Personal note: I have never had a churro but it seems like everybody loves them.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Anti-Vaxxer Paradise


Cjones05032021

I’ll write a blog for this cartoon later today. It’s the first of the month (in case you’re a Republican, May), and I need to get to my post office and I’d like to do it before noon.

Other than that, both of my proofers, Hilary and Laura, had very strong reactions to today’s cartoon. I acknowledge, this is terrible.

Now for the blog:

I got an Uber to my post office and made it within a minute of the window closing. As it turned out, I didn’t need it but you never know. Sometimes I have package or the mail ladies have put someone else’s mail into my box. Anyway, I decided to stop at a bar to write this and get some food afterward. As I got to the bar, I discovered stools were back at the bar.

See, over the past year, there has been no sitting at bars in Virginia. What this means is, you sit at a table away from the bar and you’re supposed to be six feet apart from other people. If you want to meet a bunch of covid deniers, go to a bar.

Bars have been forced to comply with state covid rules. Of course, they hate that. Covid has hurt their business just as it’s hurt everyone else’s business. But bars have taken it personally. I can see why they want to be covid deniers since they have often been hotspots.

As I came into this bar, I asked about the seats at the bar, and the bartender told me it was OK now. These stools are not six feet apart and I know that rule is still in effect. I asked about this and she said, “Yeah, but we don’t care.”

That’s it right there. They don’t care. They don’t care about quarantines, social distance, or face masks and they’re all forms of oppression being inflicted by a Marxist government and the entire experience is worse than the Holocaust…if you listen to these people. On top of all that, they’re anti-vaxxers.

People have different reasons to oppose the vaccine. When I ask someone while I’m out in public (which is not often) if they’ve have or plan to get vaccinated, my question is usually met with resistance. I try not to challenge them and explain that I’m just taking a personal poll. I haven’t talked to anyone in person who is afraid of microchips in the vaccine and is waging a political war against it. Every one of the individuals I have talked to is  afraid or suspicious of the vaccine while also not identifying him/herself as anti-vaxxers.

I was talking to a young lady earlier this week who told me she was afraid because she heard covid vaccines can make some people sterile. There is no research supporting that but she believes it anyway. Others are suspicious because the vaccines are new and they don’t believe they’ve been tested enough. They don’t want to be guinea pigs. Add to that, the recent worries of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine giving blood clots as a rare side effect. Other people are just resistant to any vaccinations.

Covid cases in this country are going down and we may be at 60% immunity nationwide from vaccinations and people who have already contracted covid. Now, as the Biden administration is trying to convince more Americans to become vaccinated, the numbers of people getting vaccines are dropping. I’m looking forward to next week when I receive my second injection and I can see if the lines are just as long as they were three weeks ago when I got my first.

Leave it to the United States to make fear and politicization of vaccination to the coronavirus a first-world privilege. The people who complain the most about the pandemic robbing their liberties are the same assholes who don’t want to help in getting rid of the virus. While we’re refusing to vaccinate despite the availability of vaccines, thanks to having an adult president who tackles problems instead of gaslighting them, India is on fire.

These anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers politicizing the virus and acting like the pandemic is an assault on their liberties remind me of Libertarians.

Despite wanting a nation of zero regulations, no taxes, and no government authority whatsoever, you don’t see Libertarians moving to live in the mayhem that’s Somalia. Somalia is a libertarian paradise. Maybe none of them wants to wear puffy pirate shirts. Who knows. And you don’t see these anti-vaxxers moving to India to relish an environment of no face masks or vaccine shaming.

In India, only about two percent of the nation has been vaccinated. Its President, Nerandra Modi, is presenting a smiling face of denial about the pandemic while his nation has entered a second phase. In fact, the pandemic has not affected his proclivity for hugging.

Each day since April 22, India has recorded more than 300,000 new cases. On most days, India is recording more new cases than half the world, which Modi and Donald Trump probably both believe is flat. New Delhi, the capital, is now running out of wood for cremations and hospitals are full and lacking oxygen. Modi’s government is rejecting responsibility for failing to recognize that new variants were coming, and is blaming India’s state governments. Where have we heard that one before?

As our first relief checks had Trump’s signature, a vaccine passport in India has Modi’s face. These cretins want credit for the good stuff but none for the bad. We should be calling the coronavirus the “Trump Virus” in the United States, and in India, it should be the “Modi Virus.”

In India, the rate of vaccinations declined as the nation believed it was out of the woods. Over 300 million of India’s population are illiterate while the Trump cultist population of the United States is willfully ignorant. India had the vaccines. They exported over 66 billion to help other nations. Now, they need vaccines to be imported.

We can not ignore the pandemic. We can’t afford to politicize this. We can’t afford not to get vaccinated. We can’t afford to let our guards down. And, we can’t afford to sit at the bars.

Speaking of, I decided to sit at the bar as there was no one else here other than a couple of goobers at the gambling machines. Shortly after starting this column, the bar filled up and I was surrounded by mask-less bikers who were ignoring the six-foot rule. I am still not comfortable with that. I don’t believe we can be comfortable with that. I left the bar for a corner table far away from everyone, but they keep getting closer. I haven’t even ordered food yet but I may have to bail.

We can’t afford to let our guard down but when this pandemic is over and we can finally sit close to each other, I’m still going to want most of you fuckers to stay the fuck away from me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Maskless Ban


CNN04182021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Herd Mentality


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

If you’re in the Fredericksburg area and need to set up an appointment to receive the coronavirus vaccine, visit the click this site for Mary Washington Hospital.

If you’re not in the Fredericksburg area, but in Virginia, visit this site for Vaccinate Virginia.

I got my first dose today. I’m a Pfizer kid, baby. They are literally herding people through the vaccination center at Mary Washington Hospital here in Fredericksburg. There are a lot of people volunteering to help out and I gotta say, they’re doing a great job with the program. I don’t mean to demean it when I say “herding” because that’s what they have to do…and it’s working great for everyone. Herd me, baby. Moo. The entire process probably took less than 30 minutes. You have to go through several people when you’re receiving your vaccination and they herd you from one to the next. It’s coordinated very well. I was impressed.

Thank you to everyone who is helping with the vaccine distribution. And thanks to everyone who’s getting the vaccine or planning to. You rock.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Vaccine Passport


Cjones04132021

What are vaccine passports and why are they so controversial?

Let’s address the controversial part first. They’re controversial because Republicans whine about everything. White male conservatives are the most persecuted group in world history…if you listen to them. They made the coronavirus political. They denied it existed. They politicized wearing face masks. They tried to downplay the deaths and are still working to remove the virus as the cause for many of them. They were willing to sacrifice their grandparents and children to reopen the economy to help Donald Trump’s reelection. A lot of Republicans are claiming the vaccine is a way for the government to track you. And leave it to Republicans to make something racist out of the virus. Republicans think being denied the ability to discriminate against other people is discrimination against them.

Now, they’re upset over there being passports for the vaccine. Red hillbilly states like Florida and Texas, home to such evil sports teams as the Buccaneers and Cowboys, are trying to outlaw the passports. But what is the vaccine passport?

The vaccine passport is a digital chip the government inserts inside your brain so when you try to enter someplace, like a football stadium, a grocery store, or your local center for indoctrination and re-education, someone can scan your head to confirm it’s safe for others if you enter. Those who refuse to be vaccinated will be restrained to a chair with their eyelids opened by clamps and forced to watch A Clockwork Orange repeatedly while being fed soylent green through a tube.

Just kidding. There is a severe shortage of soylent green.

Seriously, it’s a digital code you can carry in your smartphone…that’s already tracking you. Right now, Mark Zuckerberg knows where you are…and he wants you to wash your hands before you stick them in what you’re planning to stick them into. He sees you and thinks what you’re doing is disgusting. Ew. You nasty.

It’s not really a passport. It’s a certificate. But these things are not anything new. Proof of vaccinations for various viruses have long been used to gain entry into schools, medical facilities, or other nations.

Let me ask our fucknut friends this question: If someone returns from an Ebola hot zone in Africa, should they show proof they were vaccinated before entering the United States? Conservatives will most likely say yes and that it’s a different circumstance than the coronavirus. I’ll let you work out why that would be different.

Here’s the important detail, kids: The “passport” is NOT a federal thing. Nope. It’s not. Sure, Fox News probably told you some bullshit, between airings of the supposed Hunter Biden sex tape with two women, that it’s being mandated by President Joe Biden and they’re going to send Susan Rice house to house checking for passports, and those who don’t have them will be placed on trains because if they’re allowed to continue running around all willy-nilly like, they’ll make it difficult to steal the next election from Donald Trump.

That’s the equivalency Republicans are using. It’s just like when Nazis branded Jews, then put them on trains, melted the gold in their teeth so Hitler could buy more paintings to hide in Switzerland, branded them with numbers, then murdered them in gas chambers and used their bodies for soap. Sure, showing a QR code on your iPhone to enter Costco to purchase 88 gallons of mayonnaise is exactly like that. It’s crazy, right? Who needs that much mayonnaise?

It should be noted the federal government has NOT mandated that you receive a vaccine. These so-called passports are for local governments and businesses to decide. Say you get a vaccine and the provider gives you a code. It’s up to businesses to decide if they require you to have it to enter, though Florida and Texas want to outlaw businesses from being able to do this.

I had a conversation with a cartoonist friend fairly recently. We’ll call him Glenn. Glenn says he had the coronavirus a few months ago and he will not be taking the vaccine. He argued more people have died from the vaccine than from a second case of the virus. Glenn’s argument is based on ignorance. It ignores there are variants of the virus. It ignores we don’t have all the information on these variants yet. He ignores that the CDC advises you to get the vaccine even if you had the virus. He also believe face masks are stealing liberty. But the one thing that really stood out to me about Glenn’s argument was that it was all about Glenn.

Glenn only talked about how getting the vaccine would affect Glenn. He didn’t talk about how it would affect those around him, his family and friends, or society in general. Glenn is a Trump-supporting racist fucknut. He loves MAGA terrorists and false equivalencies. He loves using conspiracy theories to push baseless arguments. He believes he’s a patriot while demanding the nation reopen while not personally offering any sacrifices of his own to reopen the nation…like taking the vaccine. Glenn also supports voter IDs that are mandated…wait for it…by the government.

Seriously. Is this a false equivalency? No, it’s not. Voting is a constitutional right. You should not have to pay for an ID to vote. You should not have trouble getting an ID to vote. Republicans want the government to mandate that an ID must be presented to vote. Republicans also want it to be as difficult as fucking possible to get an ID to vote…if you’re black. But, they want a bakery to have the right to refuse to make a gay wedding cake with two baseball player figurines on the top, but not the right to require you have proof of a vaccination to enter.

Personally, I’m for a federal mandate where every conservative Trump-supporting fucknut is branded on the forehead just so we know what we’re dealing with when we encounter them. We can call it the “Aldo Raine Program.” While we’re at it, we should brand those who think they need 88 gallons of mayonnaise.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Paul’s Peckers


cjones03212021

Normally, when Rand Paul gets his ass kicked, it’s in a political debate. In 2017, he literally got his ass kicked by one of his neighbors in his gated community in Kentucky.

Reportedly, the scuffle was over yard work and Paul claimed he was ambushed from behind right after he got off his riding lawnmower. His attacker was five-foot-six and weighed about 140 pounds (which would be like getting attacked by a 13-year-old boy), and left Rand Paul with six broken ribs.

Tim Pritts, a doctor at the University of Cincinnati Medical School (who didn’t treat Paul) said six broken ribs is “more consistent with a car accident, or a fall down a flight of stairs, or even from the top of a building.” He said, “I’ve seen a few from people getting kicked by horses.” Rand Paul did not get kicked by a horse, or a cow, or a gopher, and thank god for that because a kick from any one of those might have killed him.

What is it with the tough guy Republicans? You got one in Texas who kisses the ass of a man who calls his wife ugly and accuses his father of murder and then you got another in Kentucky getting his ass kicked by guys no larger than….hmmmm. No larger than someone like Dr. Anthony Fauci.

Now, I’m not suggesting Dr. Anthony Fauci leap from his table and physically assault Rand Paul the next time he accuses the medical expert of “theater” or attempts to bully and shout him down…I’m just saying I think 80-year-old Dr. Fauci can take him.

Yesterday’s exchange between Paul and Fauci wasn’t the first. And for Fauci’s sake, I hope it’s the last. Dr. Fauci is the director of the U.S. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and the chief medical advisor to the president and it’s beneath him to have to argue science with the likes of Rand Paul, who is a self-certified eye doctor.

Yes, Rand Paul created a commission that certifies eye doctors, stacked it with members of his own family who then certified him…and his certification still expired. Apparently, it’s easier to become a doctor in Kentucky than on an island in the Caribbean.

I tweeted yesterday, “If I need information on the coronavirus and I can go to either Dr. Anthony Fauci, an expert on disease and viruses or Rand Paul, a self-certified eye doctor, I’m going to Dr. Fauci, the expert on viruses. Duh! Now, if I need to talk to an expert about my eyes….oh, fuck it. I’m still going to Dr. Fauci.”

I would not see Rand Paul for an ingrown toenail. I wouldn’t ask the guy how to get rid of dandruff…and looking at his hair, why would I? Maybe ask him how to get rid of birds nesting in it. But no, I wouldn’t consult Rand Paul on anything medical. And that’s why it’s such a laugh and absurd when he takes on Dr. Fauci on the subject of science.

Who is Rand Paul going to lecture next? Maybe he’ll school Steven Spielberg on how to direct movies. Maybe he’ll give Denzel Washington acting lessons. Perhaps he would have instructed Julia Child on how to make a soufflé. Or, he can advise Donald Trump on how pay hush money after raw-dogging porn stars. It would be like any time someone on Fox News talks about journalism.

Rand Paul believes his neighbor kicked his ass over politics. His other neighbors believe it’s more of an issue of Rand Paul being an asshole and not being aware of it. Watching the hearings from yesterday, or any other time Rand Paul has ever opened his mouth, you get the impression it’s the asshole thing. And maybe he is aware of it because Rand Paul is the kind of asshole to know he’s an asshole and yet continue to be an asshole. Rand Paul owns the only ass in Washington Lindsey Graham won’t kiss.

Rand Paul caught the coronavirus and while waiting for the test results, continued to roam about the Capitol, visiting the gym (gotta build the muscles in case there’s another dwarf attack), and swam in the pool. He didn’t consider those around him…which is typical selfish behavior for a Republican. Since he caught the virus, which shockingly did not kill him, he has believed he is immune. Maybe it’s like that medical certification and he believes after getting it once, he’ll never need it again. Now, Paul has refused to EVER wear a mask or to get vaccinated. Even Donald Trump, who caught the virus and received the world’s best medical treatment, got vaccinated. It was a secret for at least two months, but he still did it.

Rand Paul went after Fauci yesterday and said, “You’re telling everyone to wear a mask. If we’re not spreading the infection, isn’t it just theater? You have the vaccine and you’re wearing two masks, isn’t that theater?”

Dr. Fauci replied, “Here we go again with the theater. Let’s get down to the facts.” And Dr. Fauci laid out the facts.

Dr. Fauci told Paul, “I agree with you, that you very likely would have protection from wild type for at least six months if you’re infected,” but pointed out there is no protection from some of the more infectious variants, like the one one first found in South Africa. The variants are a “good reason for a mask,” he said.

But, Rand Paul is an asshole. He said, “You’re making policy based on conjecture!” Paul interrupted Fauci and accused him of wanting people to wear masks “for another couple of years” and said, “You’ve been vaccinated and you parade around in two masks for show. If you already have immunity, you’re wearing a mask to give comfort to others. You’re not wearing a mask because of any science.”

Right there is the biggest sign of what a jerk Rand Paul is. He used the word “parading” to describe Fauci being safe. No, Rand. “Parading” is not what you do by being considerate of others and wearing a mask…or even two masks. “Parading” is what Nazis and Klansmen do to celebrate Republican victories.

Dr. Fauci is correct. The Center for Disease Control’s guidelines state those who have been fully vaccinated against COVID-19 should still wear a mask in public. But, hey…I’m sure this self-certified eye doctor who lost his certification knows more about the coronavirus than the CDC or the nation’s top infectious diseases expert.

I admire Dr. Fauci. I admire his honesty, candor, and professionalism. I also admire him for not leaping over the table and beating Rand Paul to death with his own nameplate. Rand Paul got his ass beat over the way he cut his grass. How in the hell did he not get pummeled while lecturing the nation’s top infectious diseases expert on infectious diseases?

And if a pair of love birds ever did nest in that unruly mess on top of Rand Paul’s head, you know at some point they’d peck his eyes out.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Wapped By Fox


cjones03182021

So, just how many Fox lies can I insert into one cartoon?

I got George Soros-funded migrant caravans, Mexico sending rapists and murderers, the border being crashed by covid-carriers, illegal immigrant voters, attacks on mail-in voting, voter fraud, the Big Lie over the stolen election, Dr. Seuss and Pepe Le Pew being canceled, immigrants wearing Biden shirts at the border, attacks and fear-mongering over LGBTQ, and false equivalencies between vandalism at the Portland Federal Courthouse and actual Trump terrorists attack the United States Capitol. On top of all that, I got conservative outrage over the WAP song. I’m sure I left something out.

And this cartoon is why I don’t unfriend or block MAGAts on Facebook. Seeing several of the troglodytes creating posts on already debunked bullshit, then seeing the exact same thing again and again from conservative political cartoonists, teaches me exactly what’s being discussed at Fox News without having to actually watch Fox News.

Several years ago, there was a poll that showed people who watched the Daily Show were more informed than viewers of Fox News. I totally believe that and I know it’s true. To be effective at satire, you need to know what’s going on. You will actually be more informed reading the Onion, Andy Borowitz, and my cartoons than you ever will be by watching Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro, Laura Ingraham, or Tucker Carlson. And I’m not trying to say my cartoons are all that, but Fox is all suck.

Fox News is also poison. Not only do they spread lies, but they fear-monger to the point that people use the lies to validate their racism and terrorism. David Duke and other white supremacists say Tucker is must-watch TV for them. And when you have stars of your network speaking at Donald Trump’s hate rallies, with one of them having nightly phone calls with him, then you’re no longer a news channel…you’re propaganda.

People talk about the political divisions in this country, partisanship, and tribalism. I admit that I contribute to the division, but I don’t need to use bullshit to do it. Fox News lies. Fox News even tells you that you can’t trust Fox News.

When defending Tucker Carlson in court in a libel suit, Fox News’ lawyers successfully argued that you can’t believe anything Tucker says. Executives at Fox News are now describing themselves as the “opposition” to the Joe Biden administration. An actual news agency shouldn’t be the opposition or ally to politicians. What happened to “fair and balanced?” Sure, that wasn’t ever true but when you tell a lie, you gotta stick with it. You have to make sure your lies don’t expose your previous lies. Did four years of being Trump TV make Fox News dumber?

Do yourself and your country a favor. When you walk into a business, whether it’s a garage, restaurant, bar, doctor’s office, or strip club, and they’re playing Fox News on their TV, walk out or tell them to change it. I have actually sat down at the counter at a Denny’s and told them they had to switch their TV from Fox to another network or turn it off, or I wasn’t buying their pancakes. Just like there are other options for news, there are other pancake options.

Except, Fox News isn’t news. If you switch to CNN, MSNBC, or BBC, you’re not going to another option for news from Fox. If you want an option to Fox, you go to Newsmax, One America News, or Duck Dynasty. There are now competition and options for bullshit and hate propaganda. It’s a great time to be a white nationalist terrorist in the United States. In addition to having hate propaganda and other racist entertainment, there are members of the United States Senate who are your friends and supporters.

Sometimes a conservative will come at me for criticizing Fox News, asking when was the last time I gave the network a chance. But I don’t have to give it another chance. It’s been a long time since I put ketchup on a hot dog and I don’t need to do it again to know that it’s wrong, terrible, un-American, and something that’s only for troglodytes without taste, class, sophistication, or culture.

I get my news from actual news sources and I get my Fox News bullshit from Facebook.

Creative note: I woke up late at 7:30 A.M. without a cartoon idea. I had three subjects in mind and then got ideas for two of them…but not on the border lie Fox is spewing. This is the subject I wanted to hit today. Then I got the idea but I still had to write it. So I wrote it, thought of all the Fox silliness I could include, Googled some shit, Googled some more, made a list, framed it into a long sentence, rewrote the sentence, restructured, rewrote again, lettered it all, shifted some of the lines around in Photoshop, enlarged the text a little, and then sent it to my copy editor Laura who told me I left out an “s” in “transsexual.”

About the WAP song: I really don’t care. Sure, it’s nasty and it’s probably horrible music (I only heard a piece of it months ago), but I do love that it infuriates conservatives. Why do conservatives spend so much time watching, reading, and listening to stuff they hate? That would be like me watching Tim Allen’s sitcom while eating a hot dog desecrated with ketchup.

Also, don’t Google the lyrics for the WAP song. I’m really hoping editors don’t know what the line in the cartoon means. Oh, Lord…please don’t Google it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: