Some people may not get this cartoon, maybe even some who understand the issue. I hate to explain cartoons and I don’t write these blogs to explain my cartoons. If my cartoons don’t stand on their own, then they shouldn’t require help. But, I’m gonna blog about the issue anyway.
For the past three years, the theory that the coronavirus leaked out of a Wuhan laboratory, whether intentionally or accidentally, was mostly regarded as a conspiracy theory. Last week, FBI Director Christopher Wray (a Trump appointee) said the bureau believes Covid-19 “most likely” originated in a “Chinese government-controlled lab”. The Department of Energy has made the same assessment but with “low confidence.”
The theory that covid-19 leaked from a lab is popular with Republicans. Trump ordered an investigation, not into the cause of covid, but just to focus on the lab leak theory. It’s the belief that the virus leaked from a laboratory in the central Chinese city of Wuhan where the virus was first recorded and is 40 miles from the wet market where the first cluster of the virus emerged. The reason Republicans love the lab leak theory so much is that it allows them to pile on China and add to their outrage over TikTok and spy balloons.
China is not to be trusted with information and they haven’t been open with the investigations and studies of the virus. But I don’t believe China would inflict the world with a deadly virus intentionally. Honestly, we will never know for certain the origins of the virus, whether it came from a lab or occurred naturally and transferred from animals to humans (and Republicans).
The thing is, the leak theory is plausible but it doesn’t have a lot of support in the scientific community. The Department of Energy’s Office of Intelligence and Counterintelligence and the FBI are two of 18 government agencies that make up the intelligence community, which are under the umbrella of the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. They are the only two that’s grabbed onto the lab leak theory.
No new scientific evidence has been presented to support the lab leak theory. Is it plausible? Yes. Even Dr. Anthony Fauci says it’s plausible and should be investigated. But Republicans are using these reports as if they’re uncontested facts. Don’t listen to Republicans.
Remember, most Republicans don’t believe in climate change and believe life begins as soon as the pants are unzipped. Many believe in gay conversion therapy. One of the goons Ron DeSantis just appointed to a board that will try to direct Disney’s content believes people have been turned gay by chemicals in tap water. Republicans have used election lies to suppress voting rights which makes me believe they’ll use this information about covid to suppress something else. Republicans in Congress are already planning investigations into this. Expect more subpoenas for Dr. Anthony Fauci.
All the comments I’ve heard from Republicans about this leak have omitted the phrase, “low confidence.” Quite frankly, I have low confidence in Republicans.
Creative note: I drew most of this Thursday night, wanting to get a jump on Friday so I could spend most of the day on my CNN stuff. But come Friday morning, I thought of something else and did that. I really wasn’t sure about this cartoon but went ahead and finished it today. I wasn’t sure people would get it and sure enough, the very first comment it got on Twitter was, “Heh?”. Shit. Also, I don’t think any other liberal cartoonists have touched this subject.
Music note: I listened to The Beach Boys.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
This cartoon may go over a few heads. I accept it may be too subtle but I also know that a lot of people don’t really understand Title 42. I hate to explain cartoons because they should be able to stand on their own, but I’ll make a bit of an exception today.
The Trump administration enacted Title 42 to expel migrants and prevent refugees from being able to even apply for asylum. The Biden administration has vowed to end it and enact a more humane policy, and it was set to expire last week…until Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts placed a stay on it. I still don’t understand how one member of the Supreme Court can do that without a vote.
Republicans, MAGAts, and horrible vile people in general love Title 42, and they’re all playing Chicken Little over the potential ending of it, predicting doom and gloom for this nation without it. But what exactly is Title 42?
It’s not a new policy. Donald Trump and Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller didn’t create it. It’s a clause of the 1944 Public Health Services Law that “allows the government to prevent the introduction of individuals during certain public health emergencies.” In case someone hit you really hard in the head recently, we just had a public health emergency. And the Trump administration used the COVID-19 pandemic as an excuse to kick out migrants without giving them a chance to apply for asylum. They used it to hide the real reason they didn’t want brown people coming here from, as Trump termed it, “shithole countries.” The real reason is that Donald Trump is a racist. So is Stephen Miller who is now the head of a legal organization for white nationalists. If someone steps on your white privilege, Baby Goebbels will sue them for you. I’m not making this up.
Federal law states that any non-citizen within the United States can make a claim for asylum.
So Trump and his goons, like Baby Goebbels, enacted Title 42 over concerns about people entering this nation and further spreading the coronavirus, yet Trump and his goons played down the pandemic.
Donald Trump told us in 2020, “We have it totally under control” and that it was “one person coming in from China.” He told us in February 2020 that it would “magically go away” by April 2020. When there were only 15 known cases in the country, Trump told us, “Within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero” and, “That’s a pretty good job we’ve done.” Before February 2020 was over, he said, “It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear.” He proposed fake cures and conspiracy theories and didn’t really seem to understand the seriousness of Covid-19 until he caught it, which was because he ignored safety protocols in the White House.
During the pandemic, it would have been healthier to lick stripper poles over visiting the Trump White House.
Trump also claimed that Democrats were “politicizing” the virus…the same virus he said would disappear yet used to enact a policy to expel refugees.
Breaking it down, Donald Trump told America not to worry about the virus, that it was being politicized by his enemies, yet used it to expel non-citizens from Latin America.
This brings us to the present, where the same people who waged war against science, face masks, vaccines, social distancing, and every other safety measure, claiming they were all hoaxes and vilified the scientists like Dr. Anthony Fauci for trying to save this nation from the coronavirus pandemic, are all howling to preserve Title 42, which is still in effect because of the coronavirus pandemic.
Their argument is: The virus isn’t a threat anymore but let’s keep a policy in place to expel brown people so they don’t give us the virus.
The people who support preserving Title 42 aren’t even using the pandemic in their arguments. But you can’t keep Title 42 in effect if there’s not a public health concern from the virus. Even the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court should be able to understand that.
The fact Republicans are worried that lifting Title 42 will create a disaster on the border as migrants enter the nation also destroys their argument that we have open borders. If we have open borders, then why are migrants on the other side of it waiting for us to lift Title 42?
Immigration is a complicated issue but Republican arguments against it are not. Immigrants give more to this nation than they take. Let them in. Lift Title 42. Sure, let’s provide more assistance to our border states to deal with immigration, but let’s stop using outdated health policies to disguise Republican racism. And while we’re at it, let’s press criminal charges against those GOP governors who keep sending migrants to other states for political stunts.
Something else I find amusing is how Republicans and MAGAts still react to people wearing face masks. At the start of the pandemic, they didn’t want to wear face masks and they argued it was fine if you wanted to wear them, but forcing them to wear one in public or in a private business they didn’t own was an assault on their freedom. Now, they attack my freedom to wear a face mask.
I’m wearing a face mask in my profile pics on Truth Social and Instagram and it really triggers the MAGAts, even though my wearing a mask doesn’t affect them at all. I even got called a “sheeple” a few days ago on Truth Social even though the word is plural and I’m just one person. A few months ago, I even got a “let’s go, Brandon” on a public bus for wearing a face mask.
Here’s the thing, goons… If you’re going to scream at me for wearing a face mask, shouting, “Let’s go, Brandon,” and calling me a “sheeple,” then you gotta also be against Title 42.
Music note: I listened to a mix that included Foster the People, Gorillaz, The Killers, The Cars, and The Hives.
Facebook Suspension Update: There are 17 days left in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Here’s Quannah’s countdown clock.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
The protests in China are mostly against strict lockdowns due to Covid. These lockdowns are not the same as the “lockdowns” we had in the United States. The lockdowns in China led to people being burned alive inside a building because they were literally locked in.
Sure, we had “lockdowns” in schools, churches, and businesses being closed, but nobody was literally locked in. There were limitations placed on businesses, but most were not ordered not to do business or engage in commerce. In the U.S., 43 percent of businesses closed temporarily.
Complaining and protesting that you can’t do business is legitimate. You have a gripe. It sucked. None of us liked it and it’s not something we wanted to keep. Democrats did not want to keep the economy shut down and if you remember correctly, outside of being gaslighted, all the shutdowns started while Donald Trump was president (sic).
Most of us support the protests in China. Most of us support freedom. Republicans say they do, but they don’t. Republicans support Trump, Putin, and fascism. Several Republicans are tweeting out support for the protesters in China not because they’re protesting for freedom, but because Republicans think it’s a stick in the eye to the people in the USA who believe in science. At the same time, they’re silent over their presidential frontrunner “truthing” that we need to ditch the Constitution and install him as president.
Republicans protest and gripe about the economy being shut down, but they also protest against face masks and vaccines. Remember, at the start of Covid, they said, You can wear a face mask but don’t make wear them”. Now, they scream at people for wearing face masks even though it doesn’t affect them at all. My profile photos on Instagram and Truth Social are of me wearing a face mask, and goons are constantly commenting insults about that. I even got a “Let’s go Brandon” on a city bus. And their protests against the vaccines are based on conspiracy theories.
They’re not protesting vaccines or face masks in China. If you look at photos of the protests, you’ll notice that the majority of protesters are wearing face masks. Unlike Republicans, they don’t deny that Covid exists or is still a danger.
If you want to support the protesters in China, great. But at least understand what it’s about. It’s not about your political bullshit or conspiracy theories. In China, they’re protesting against oppression. If you’re a white Republican, nobody has oppressed you. You’re just a big pampered privileged baby.
Note: My 30-day Facebook suspension is over and I can now post my cartoons there again. Thanks to everyone who posted my cartoons in my absence. I saw all of them that tagged me. Thank you.
Music note: I listened to Foo Fighters.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
DJ Ferguson is an anti-vaxxer. His father says his son “doesn’t believe in it.” According to his GoFundMe page, DJ has been in a Boston hospital since November suffering from a hereditary heart issue that causes his lungs to fill with blood and fluid. DJ needs a heart transplant. DJ does not believe in vaccines. What he does believe in are heart transplants and GoFundMe pages.
Ferguson has been removed from a transplant list, partly over his status as being unvaccinated from the coronavirus.
His father said, “My boy is fighting pretty damn courageously and he has integrity and principles he really believes in and that makes me respect him all the more. It’s his body. It’s his choice.” Yeah, but DJ is trying to make a choice with an organ that’s not from his body.
The person who donated the heart also made a choice with their body, except that person’s choice wasn’t selfish. Brigham and Women’s Hospital told the BBC in a statement: “Given the shortage of available organs, we do everything we can to ensure that a patient who receives a transplanted organ has the greatest chance of survival.”
The person who donated the heart probably made their choice, with their body, that their donation would be provided to a person with the greatest chance of survival, not some fucknut who ignores science over their petty politics.
Dr. Arthur Caplan, head of medical ethics at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, told CBS News that after any organ transplant a patient’s immune system is all but shut down and even a common cold can prove fatal.
Dr. Caplan said, “The organs are scarce, we are not going to distribute them to someone who has a poor chance of living when others who are vaccinated have a better chance post-surgery of surviving.”
There are over 100,000 people on waiting lists for organ transplants. Most of them won’t receive one. So why give one to someone who’s already made health choices detrimental to his survival? It looks like Mr. Ferguson already made his choice with his body.
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) says transplant candidates, and their immediate circles should get vaccinated. Transplant candidates also need other vaccinations, such as the flu vaccine.
Many anti-vaxxers have started to trust the science when it’s too late, after catching the coronavirus. Their anti-science politics goes out the window when they start pleading with science to save their lives.
How does someone trust the science that will cut their chest open, remove their heart, insert a heart from a different person, stitch them back up, and send them back out into their world, but not trust a jab in the arm?
Anti-vaxxers need brain transplants.
Music Note: Today’s cartooning tunes were provided by Incubus and the J. Geils Band.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
You would think something like an international pandemic would be the sort of thing that unites us across political lines. And it has…in every country on the planet except this one. Here in the United States, it’s been politicized by the Right to attack the people who are working to save us, and cast them as villains.
The Right has made medical professionals, teachers, scientists, and most of all, Dr. Anthony Fauci, the bad guys throughout all of this. Dr. Anthony Fauci is the chief medical adviser on the coronavirus and director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. Republicans have accused him of everything from creating mandates to shutting down businesses to murdering Beagles to creating the virus. No one has been more vile and despicable with this than Rand Paul. Every time Dr. Fauci has to testify before the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee.
In yesterday’s installment of Rand Paul’s lies and gaslighting, he accused Dr. Fauci of orchestrating a smear campaign against right-wing “academics” who opposed shutdown measures in 2020. This would be like Rand Paul laughing at Bozo the Clown’s hair. As it turns out, the emails Rand Paul was using to make his case only showed that Dr. Fauci sent colleagues a link to a Wired article debunking claims about reaching “herd immunity.”
Then, Dr. Fauci exposed Rand Paul for his attacks and raising campaign money off the pandemic.
Dr. Fauci said Rand Paul’s lies and attacks on him have endangered the lives of him and his family. Fauci pointed out the arrest of a California man in Iowa last month who police said was traveling to Washington with an AR-15 rifle and multiple magazines of ammunition. The man allegedly had a “hit list” including Fauci and several others, mostly Democratic politicians. Where do you think these people get this hatred?
A few months ago, I was in a bar on a late afternoon getting some street tacos when Dr. Fauci came on the television. The man sitting next to me started ranting about Dr. Fauci and told me the doctor was responsible for killing people and was a murderer. Yes, I called the man out, but more to the point, this gaslighting and villainization is dangerous. Most goons will be like that bar idiot, talking stupid shit he doesn’t even know anything about. But then there are the guys like the would-be assassin caught in Iowa. It’s not the first time someone was inspired by conspiracy theories to go to Washington, D.C. with a hit list. Hello? Remember Pizzagate? Do we not learn anything or do we just not care? Probably both.
Rand Paul doesn’t care if he endangers anybody’s life. This jerk roamed around the Capitol complex while waiting for the results of a COVID test. He risked infecting hundreds if not thousands of people.
Dr. Fauci brought photocopies of Rand Paul’s website and pointed out he was making money from his attacks on Fauci. The website contains a graphic saying “Fire Dr. Fauci” and Dr. Fauci pointed it, “a little box that says contribute here.”
Pointing out the details on the website, Fauci said to Rand Paul, “You can do $5, $10, $20, $100. So you are making a catastrophic epidemic for your political gain.”
Every time Fauci has to testify before this committee, Rand Paul uses it to raise his political profile with the MAGAt base. Most news outlets’ headlines on yesterday’s hearing focused on the real story, Fauci fighting back against Rand Paul. But Fox News’ headline says, “Rand Paul Rips Fauci.” Everything that goon in the taco bar knows about the coronavirus and Dr. Fauci that’s not GOP and Fox News bullshit, he learned from me.
Rand Paul responded saying it’s “disappointing for you to suggest that people who dare to question you are responsible somehow for violent threats.” Then, I’m not making this up, Rand Paul sent out another mass fundraising email with the headline, “Fauci is hysterical.”
Rand Paul said in a statement after the hearing that he was one of the lawmakers at the baseball practice in which Republican congressman Steve Scalise and others were shot in 2017. Reports showed the shooter was a Bernie fan, and Paul said, “I never once accused Senator Sanders of being responsible for the attack and I resent Fauci avoiding the question by ginning up the idea that his opponents are the cause of threats.” Except, Bernie Sanders never gaslighted or lied about Steve Scalise…if he’s ever said his name. Bernie Sanders never sent out mass fundraising emails containing debunked conspiracy theories accusing people of creating and weaponizing viruses. The Waterboy’s mama ginned up for more hate against a sport than Bernie Sanders ever has when she said, “Foosball is the devil.”
Also, the only person who said stuff that incited Rand Paul’s neighbor to kick his ass (true story) was Rand Paul. To be fair, if you lived next door to Rand Paul, you’d probably wanna kick his ass too.
Later in the hearing, Fauci was caught on his mic calling another Republican senator a “moron.”
Roger Marshall, a Republican senator from Kansas, cited a Forbes story reporting that Fauci is the highest-paid federal employee, earning $434,312 in 2020. Marshall told Dr. Fauci that he needed to disclose his personal finances to the public.
Fauci said, “I don’t understand why you’re asking me that question. “My financial disclosure is public knowledge and has been so for the last 37 years or so.”
Marshall claimed the “big tech giants” won’t let anyone see Fauci’s salary…even though the Forbes article is literally on the internet and came up on the first page of a Google search. There’s also an article in The Week, and another in the New York Post, and another on Yahoo, and another in the Daily Mail, and another in The Independent, etc, etc… Each of those articles were on the first page of my Google search. Despite all these articles, Senator Marshall said, “We’ll continue to look for it. Where would we find it?” Kansas has the internet, right?
Dr. Fauci told the Senator, “”All you have to do is ask for it. You’re so misinformed, it’s extraordinary.” And then, Dr. Fauci muttered, “What a moron. Jesus Christ.”
Marshall released a statement that calling him a “moron” didn’t change the facts about Fauci funding “gain-of-function.” Yeah, calling Senator Roger Marshall a “moron” doesn’t change the fact that he is a moron.
If Senator Roger Marshall wants to get to the bottom of a public servant’s finances that were truly hidden, then he should have looked down the bench and questioned Rand Paul about his wife’s investment, $15,000, into the company that makes remdesivir, a drug made to treat COVID, and that they failed to report for a year and a half. Marshall will probably never read that story because it’s on the internet.
And, they wonder why so many people want to assault them.
Music note: I didn’t listen to anything while drawing this one.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
The anti-vaxxers with the bogus cures are now promoting another bullshit treatment. But in this case, the bullshit is urine. Seriously.
Some of these idiots have ingested cleaning products made for fish tanks. Others on the advice of Donald Trump have shot bleach up their asses. Thousand upon thousands have taken medication that’s for livestock. Now, one of these hoaxers is telling us the cure is to drink urine. Wait. Not just any urine, I don’t think, but your own urine.
Christopher Key is an Alabama anti-vaxxer with an online cult following. He uses his website not just to rant against vaccines for the coronavirus, but to spread false information.
In the past, he told pharmacists that what they’re doing by giving out vaccinations are committing “crimes against humanity.” The same could be said for Key by spreading false information. Key said if the pharmacists “do not stand down immediately, then they could be executed.” He claims “they can be hung in the state.” Sure they can…and if they’re hung in Alabama, then they’re most likely hung in any other state they visit, but I’m not sure what that has to do with vaccinations.
Key went to a Missouri Walmart to harass people. Now I know there are Walmarts in Alabama, but he was invited by some fucknut crusade to a rally in Missouri.
Key has also sold deer antler spray for athletic injuries on his website. He’s also sold “concussion caps” to football players to avoid injuries. The caps are actually just beanies, which means he’s forcing football players to become hipsters. Ever see a guy wearing a beanie in August? That’s a hipster. It annoys me more than fuckers wearing face masks under their noses.
I saw a guy in Giant yesterday with his nose sticking out of his face mask. The dumbest part of this is that face masks are NOT required in Virginia. Why are people doing this when they don’t have to wear the face mask? It’s like putting the helmet on the back of your motorcycle. Look. There is it. We can all see it but it’s not where it’s going to help you.
Sorry. I digressed again.
Standing outside a Walmart, where we’ve all seen crazy people shouting at people, inanimate objects, and the sky, Christopher Key yelled at an employee, who was probably rounding up shopping carts, “If you allow one more shot in one more person’s body, you yourself will be executed in violation of the Nuremberg Code. We don’t want that to happen to any of you guys at all. We love you guys. We want to keep you safe.” Yeah, sure. Then he went to a Walgreens and a CVS to harass those employees. Seriously, if you’re going to protest anything at CVS, it’s them wanting your phone number to check you out. You don’t need my phone number to sell me a plunger. A plunger was the last thing I bought at a CVS, which was Christmas day, 2020.
And again, I digressed.
Key has also claimed that hospitals are putting people in comas and on ventilators just for having a common cold. At the Missouri event, the lunatic organizers used fog machines as part of their presentation and Key initially thought it was an anthrax outbreak.
In December, claiming he’s the “vaccine police,” Key threatened to go to Louisiana and arrest Governor John Bel Edwards for vaccinating children in the state.
Key said, “I am the vaccine police,” which has less legitimacy than when Beavis shouts, “I am Cornholio.”
He claimed, “We have shut down pharmacists. We have shut down boards of education. And we will be arresting the governor of Louisiana on February the 7th if he does not stand down and not vaccinate the children of Louisiana.” I’m going to tell Alexa to remind me to check on this on February 7. Maybe he’ll do it…if he’s not in jail. More on that in a minute. Key has been on a cross-country tour with a flamethrower to arrest other Democratic governors.
Do flamethrowers fall under gun laws? Is it legal to sell an insane person a flamethrower? It’s probably legal in Alabama.
Key said he would conduct the arrest “out of love,” because “they are trying to start a civil war” and “coming for our children.” Yeah, coming to save children who have fuck-head parents.
Key said the cure to the coronavirus is to drink your own urine. He brought us this revelation straight from jail, where most new medical breakthroughs are known to occur. Listen, Christopher, I don’t care if you like the toilet wine but drinking your own pee isn’t a cure except for maybe fresh breath. Opposite of Mentos, urine is the unfreshmaker.
So, why was Key in jail? He was arrested for trespassing at a Birmingham Whole Foods for refusing to leave because he wouldn’t wear a face mask. I know it’s shocking. There’s a Whole Foods in Alabama? In court, Keys told the poor bastard the court appointed to be his attorney, “I’m not insane.” Sure, he’s not insane, and did I mention the flamethrower?
Immediately after getting out of jail from the whole Whole Foods incident, he told his followers to drink their own urine.
I have some questions. For this pee cure to work, is it mandatory that the pee you drink must be your own? I mean, what if it’s a friend’s pee? Is it a DNA thing? If so, can you drink your sibling’s pee? What if the pee is from a Russian hooker? Can your pee be mixed with other people’s pee? If bullies give you a swirlie, can you count that as immunity? If it’s not your own pee, are you doing it wrong?
Key said, “The antidote that we have seen now, and we have tons and tons of research, is urine therapy.” Yeah, you need to be in therapy. He also said, “I know to a lot of you this sounds crazy, but guys, God’s given us everything we need.” Yes, God has given us our pee…and flamethrowers.
When reached for further comments, because we really need to hear more of this, he said “This vaccine is the worst bioweapon I have ever seen. I drink my own urine!”
I guarantee that the type of person who follows this advice will be sitting next to me the next time I’m on a bus.
Someone really needs to put the urine-drinking flamethrower guy, not into jail, but into an asylum. Don’t do it out of hate. Do it out of love.
Cheers!
Music note: I listened to Stone Temple Pilots while drawing today’s cartoon. I turned on the music when I started drawing the grass because when you do stuff like that takes a lot of patience, it helps to zone out. I got through the entire Core album while drawing the grass, and then I started on Purple.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
Senator and above-ground CHUD Ted Cruz has now attacked Big Bird for assuring children they don’t have to be afraid of the vaccines for the coronavirus.
After American six-year-olds, became eligible for the Pfizer-BioNTech coronavirus vaccine last week, Big Bird did a public service announcement to comfort children and to promote vaccine awareness. Big Bird got his vaccination and tweeted, “My wing is feeling a little sore, but it’ll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy.”
President Biden replied to Big Bird and tweeted, “Good on ya’, Big Bird. Getting vaccinated is the best way to keep your whole neighborhood safe.”
This is just a lot of fun while being also educational about the vaccine. This PSA can actually save lives and help us defeat the pandemic. Enter Ted Cruz.
Ted Cruz is worse than Philadelphia Eagles fans who once booed Santa Claus. Ted Cruz went after Big Bird. Ted tweeted, “Government propaganda … for your 5-year-old!” No, you idiot. It’s for six-year-olds. Maybe we need to do another PSA just for Republican senators. Didn’t a Republican win an election last week by claiming he’s the “education candidate?”
Ted later sent out another Big Bird-hater tweet with a video of him kicking a door in. Nice. I thought Ted Cruz approved of the Gestapo.
A couple weeks ago, Ted Cruz defended people giving the Heil salute. You know who gives that salute. Nazis. Ted Cruz defends Nazis and attacks Big Bird. But what else would you expect from a guy who worships a cult figure who called his wife, Heidi, “ugly.”
Because Republicans are in a race to prove who can be the vilest, Lisa Boothe, a Fox News contributor I have never heard of before, tweeted, “Brainwashing children who are not at risk from covid” was “twisted.” I don’t know why she used three quotation marks. I quote them without editing their fuckups. Maybe we need a PSA for Fox News contributors.
Arizona state Senator Wendy Rogers, a pro-Trump Republican, tweeted, “Big Bird is a communist.” That’s funny from someone who defends white nationalists.
Tennessee Republican congressional candidate Robby Starbuck suggested that Big Bird could die from the vaccine. “*7 days later* Big blood clot Bird is served!” It’s fun to go after a beloved character from a children’s program and spread disinformation. It’s fun to tell children, “Big Bird’s going to die!!!!” Starbucks should sue to force him to change his name. Nazi-lovers sharing your name is not good for business. Nobody except Republicans would buy from Nazi Starbucks.
This is not the first time the government has used public figures, real and imaginary, to advocate for vaccines. In the past, vaccinations were advocated in PSAs by Elvis, Muhammad Ali, C3PO, RD-D2, and even Big Bird back in the 70s. I’m not aware of conservatives being upset back then, though they did like attacking Muhammad Ali, you know, because he’s black and they couldn’t ever find a white guy who could beat him up. Personally, I’d like to see Ted Cruz go ten rounds with Big Bird. My money’s on the bird.
This isn’t the first time Republicans have called for the head of Big Bird. In 2012, while saying he loved Big Bird during a presidential debate with President Obama, Mitt Romney promised to kill Big Bird. During the Trump administration, the orange one tried to kill the yellow one every year he was in office. Again, the education candidates want to kill education. Trump’s Education Secretary, whose ideas for public education are being copied by Virginia’s new governor-elect, was worried about children being attacked in public schools by bears and Big Bird. I mean, Ted Cruz has already told us Big Bird can kick down doors. Elmo’s probably an evil samurai. The Count probably counted illegal votes for Biden. And a one, ah ah ah. And Oscar the Grouch? He’s grouchy and lives in garbage, so they probably love him.
So many people voted for Glenn Youngkin last week over frustration that schools were closed and their kids had to be taught at home. Yet, Republicans are attacking vaccinating kids, which will help keep schools open. Do we need another PSA?
I think there should be a public service announcement with Santa Claus, that way we can Ted Cruz starting a fight with Santa.
There should also be public service announcements stating: Don’t watch Fox News. Trump lost. Republicans are liars. There are no public schools in this nation teaching Critical Race Theory. Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.
Why are Republicans constantly trying to make this nation a worse place? I really do wish Big Bird would kick Ted Cruz’s ass.
Someone on Twitter posing as Big Bird did send a tweet to Ted saying, “Ted Cruz can’t tell you how to get to Sesame Street, but he can tell you how to get to Cancun.”
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued an urgent recommendation Wednesday for pregnant women and those who have recently given birth to get vaccinated against coronavirus. This will surely piss off Republicans.
The CDC reports that as of September 27, 2021, more than 125,000 laboratory-confirmed COVID-19 cases have been reported in pregnant people, including more than 22,000 hospitalized cases and 161 deaths. Last August, at least 22 pregnant women died from the coronavirus. Their babies died too. How many so-called “right-to-life” Republicans have you heard wailing about that?
Studies have indicated that vaccines for both the flu and coronavirus are not harmful to the mother or her baby and in fact, some antibodies are transferred from mom to baby. But of course, Republicans don’t really care about you, the mom, the baby, or anyone’s life except their own.
While Republicans are screaming that the government and Democrats are trying to control everyone’s body with vaccine mandates, they’re fighting to mandate that no woman get an abortion. They claim it’s your body to do what you want with it, even if your body hurts other people’s bodies, but a woman can’t have a say with her body. You only think that’s confusing and hypocritical because it is. This just in: Republicans suck.
Here’s the thing, kiddos: Republicans don’t really care about choice when it comes to the vaccines. They don’t care if it kills you or your family. In fact, they want you to die. Why? Because they want the Biden administration to fail. If you die and the economy is destroyed, that’s bad for the country but Republicans believe that’s great politics. The longer this virus remains out of control, the more it hurts Democrats. Look what Republicans are doing in Congress with the budget. Failing to raise the debt ceiling can create a brand new recession and destroy the economy and Mitch McConnell’s all like, “Well, Democrats better raise it then.”
Why do I think Republicans don’t care if the virus kills you? Republicans and Donald Trump sat back and watched the virus kill over 700,000 Americans. Donald Trump didn’t care about the coronavirus until he caught the coronavirus. Did you see how fast he waddled to that helicopter to get him to the hospital? They didn’t care if it killed people while Trump was in office, so why would they care if it kills people while a Democrat is in the White House?
For Trump, Brett Kavanaugh, or dumbass conspiracy theorist Ben Garrison, too bad there’s not a vaccine for karma, baby.
Now, if Donald Trump was still president (sic), BRRRRR….I just got a chill throughout my entire body. But if Trump was still in the White House….BRRRR…there it goes again. If the other guy was still in charge…BRRRRR stop it!…Republicans would be chasing you down to get the vaccine. Some are still trying to label the vaccine the “Trump Vaccine,” which is an insult to science coming from Captain Combover Hydroxychloroquine. Even now, they’re praising Trump for the vaccine while denigrating the vaccine. Thank you Donald Trump for giving us this horrible thing.
Now, with the CDC advising, not mandating, that women who are preggers get the vaccine, that gives anti-science Taliban Republicans three things to hate. They hate the CDC, they hate the vaccine, and they hate women. They especially hate women making decisions that don’t involve them. Republicans want women barefoot, pregnant, seen and not heard, and as ignorant and stupid about current events and science as they are. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about reconciliation. Isn’t Dancing With The Stars on?
In Texas, where they’ve outlawed abortions and created bounty hunter laws for people to go after abortion providers, they’ve made it legal for someone to sue over an abortion who doesn’t have anything to do with that abortion. There is currently a lawsuit pending in Texas where a guy in a different state, who has never met the woman or doctor, is suing for damages. This guy is not damaged…I mean, yeah, he’s probably all sorts of damaged being from Arkansas and all, but not from this shit. It wasn’t his baby, his doctor, or even his state.
Republicans don’t think you can sue a tobacco company that sold you toxic chemicals to inhale into your lungs, but you can sue a doctor 4,000 miles away in another state for giving an abortion to a woman you’ve never known or touched. And we know you haven’t touched a lot of women because you’re a Republican.
But that’s the Republicans’ playbook. They want to eliminate your decisions regarding your body when it doesn’t have anything to do with them. Now in Texas, they’ve outlawed a woman making choices for her body while making it legal for complete male strangers to control their bodies. And the male majority Supreme Court is saying, “Yeah, OK.”
I’m sure some Republicans will create new conspiracy theories about pregnant women getting vaccinations, like it’ll make goat-head babies. That would be ba’aaaaaad.
But Republicans only care about your baby while it’s in the womb. They only want it born because mass shooters gotta shoot somebody at schools so Alex Jones can later say it never happened.
For Republicans, it’s your body, their choice…or some weird stranger in Arkansas.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.
Ben Garrison has self-diagnosed he has the coronavirus.
I hope Benjy gets through this OK, whether it’s truly COVID or just a bad case of the Montana sniffles. But, I think it’s fair to mock and ridicule him because it’s karma. It’s fair like that time Donald Trump played down the pandemic, treated it like a hoax, told lies about it, did nothing for the longest time which enabled the virus to kill more people than it should have, disregarded CDC guidelines, then caught COVID, and went crying to the hospital in a helicopter to receive treatment nobody else could get. Karma.
While I don’t wish bad things on anyone, I do think it’s OK to give them a Nelson Muntz HA-HA when they took part in spreading conspiracy theories and misinformation that kills people…and continues to do so. We would have defeated this virus months ago if it wasn’t for people like Ben Garrison.
In case you need a refresher and you’re asking, “Who’s Ben Garrison, ” I’ll sum up.
Ben Garrison is a fucking lunatic. He’s racist. He’s antiSemitic (so antiSemitic, he was invited then disinvited from a racist summit at Trump’s White House. He’s so hateful, Trump couldn’t be seen with him). He’s a hater. He’s a MAGA cultist. And…he thinks he’s a political cartoonist. He’s not a political cartoonist. He is a propagandist.
Political cartooning is a type of journalism. While it is opinion, the practitioners are to abide by the generally accepted ethics of journalism. You’re not on a high horse or working with a better-than-thou attitude to say you follow ethical guidelines. They’re rules. If you play baseball, you’re not on a high-horse by demanding four strikes instead of three. You’re just playing by the rules. Though, I must admit I’m seeing a lot more disregard for the rules in this business and quite frankly, it seems people and news outlets aren’t caring as much.
But one thing you’re not supposed to do is make stuff up. There is a fine line with satire as you are putting words in people’s mouths, but you’re basing it on something. You know Trump doesn’t walk around with a sippy cup with shit I write on it, but you do know he’s a baby who needs two hands to pick up a cup. See what I do there? I base it on something. Now, right-wing Trump-supporting cartoonists are basing their opinions on total and complete bullshit.
A lot of cartoonists are like columnists and TV pundits. They only mention what helps their argument, or hurts someone else’s, while leaving stuff out that hurts their position. But, they’re still basing what they say on facts. This is spin.
Conservative cartoonists like Scott Stantis, Steve Breen, and Nate Beeler are journalists. They rely on facts so much, they’re becoming moderate conservatives. I’ve seen all three of these cartoonists take on Trump, The Big Lie, and promote vaccines and CDC guidelines while also criticizing President Biden. I don’t have an issue with people I disagree with. Cartoonists have a tradition of shouting at each other while drinking together. In the past, we all got along for the most part. I recall very few political arguments at cartoonist conventions. But even then, we usually enjoy arguing with each other. Politics never got in the way of us getting along. Maybe personalities did, but nobody cared that Michael Ramirez always wore a Nixon pin to the conventions.
There are a few others who kinda straddle the line a bit. It’s like they take advantage of Trumplican bullshit, like advocating for bogus election laws and carrying the mantra of “election integrity” while not saying the election was stolen or Biden didn’t win.
The cartoonists I take issue with are the ones who lie and base their stuff on lies that have been debunked. There are a few who do this but Garrison is the worst…or the best at it. The cartoonists I take issue with are the ones who aren’t real cartoonists, like Ben Garrison.
Garrison’s cartoons are hilarious because he makes Trump look like Superman. He has a surfer body and his hair is only a little crazy. But, Ben lies. He makes stuff up and worships at the altar of Trump. If Trumps says it, it’s a fact. Ben is also extremely racist and antiSemitic.
But since the vaccine came out, Garrison been on a campaign against it. He claims it’s being used by the government to control and censor. He’s compared it to 1984 which he obviously didn’t read. He’s blamed Soros, Bill Gates, Deep State, and Jews. He’s even claimed microchips to track us are in the vaccine. He’s pushed Trump’s bogus cures and other lies. He’s drawing daily telling people not to get the vax and to just take horse de-wormer.
Now, he himself has covid, as reported by Gizmodo.
Ben has diagnosed himself and his wife as having COVID. I hope his wife can escape while Ben is sleeping or distracted by Newsmax, climbs out the bathroom window to go to a hospital (not a livestock hospital) to be diagnosed by an actual doctor.
Ben claims he went to dinner at a restaurant, where they probably don’t sell a lot of salads, with his wife and friends and the next day, they all had COVID. He will not go to a hospital, says he lost 15 pounds, and is treating it with Ivermectin, zinc, and by drinking a lot of beetroot juice. None of that cures COVID and the Ivermectin has been blamed for several deaths. But BenBen is undeterred from his bogus cure and remains anti-science. But maybe he’ll panic after he starts pooping red from the beetroot juice, and goes to a hospital.
When Gizmodo asked Garrison if he was vaccinated, he replied, “We will never take their foul spike protein-producing jabs, which are neither safe nor effective. They’re not real vaccines. They’re gene therapy.” I’m feeling a bit spent so feel free to take it upon yourself to analyze Ben’s reasoning there.
And that’s why it’s OK to mock him. If Ben had gotten the vaccine, worn a face mask, and practiced social distancing, maybe he wouldn’t have contracted the virus. And if his wife had married someone who’s not a fucknut, she would probably still be able to taste pork chops. But even if they did get the vaccine and still caught COVID, the Garrisons wouldn’t still be struggling two weeks later with a loss of taste, smell, and appetite while sucking down beetroot juice and horse pills.
When you have a position that’s given you followers, and you tell your followers misinformation and endanger their lives, then you should be ridiculed when karma strikes. If Ben’s going to use his position to lie to people, then I’m going to use mine to call out his lies. Is my cartoon cruel and bad form? Why, yes it is. But it’s also performing a public service.
I’m using my position and ability to satire to show readers that people like Ben are snake oil salesmen and to see what their preaching did for them. If anything, my ridiculing Garrison may educate someone and they’ll get the message not to take medical advice from a Jew-hater taking a Clorox colonoscopy.
OK, they’re Trumpers so they’re probably not listening to me. You can lead a horse to take Ivermectin for COVID, but you can’t make him think.
Ben, I hope you and your wife get well. Sincerely, I don’t wish you harm. I want to mock and ridicule you again in the future. P.S. Biden won.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.
Like I do every day, I had jotted down potential topics to cartoon about. Some of the topics are heavy subjects, like immigration, the debt ceiling, Texas abortion, missing indigenous people and Gabby Petito, Haiti, Trump’s lawsuits, etc, etc. As I said before, I like to have a definite idea (not just a concept) for my next cartoon before going to bed. I will toss and turn all night and have nightmares of crosshatching if I don’t. Seriously, I have dreams of crosshatching.
Around 11:00 P.M, I heard the news about disgraced scumbag General and former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. This guy is a piece of work. But, my gears went into motion for a Flynn cartoon. I wrote down three ideas and was giggling with each of them. I cracked open a Blue Moon while amusing myself and kept writing, self-editing, more writing, another Blue Moon, and then at 2:00 A.M, I said to myself, “Oh my god, it’s 2:00 A.M.” I knew I had my idea and I should get some sleep. The debt ceiling can wait. Michael Flynn said something stupid.
Flynn was forced into retirement from the military and there are rumors this is because he’s a raving lunatic. President Obama knew Flynn was a liar and had him removed from his position as Assistant Director of National Intelligence. During Flynn’s tenure, he became the first official from the United States invited into the Russian Military Intelligence headquarters in Moscow, which was seriously frowned upon by our government. He attempted a second visit which was thwarted. Then, he tried to get Russian intelligence officials inside the headquarters for the Central Intelligence Agency, which was knocked down by James Clapper, the Director of National Intelligence. There was concern, and it was reported by other officials that Flynn may have been compromised by the Russians. Ya’ think?
After he was fired, he was paid to speak at a Moscow event where he shared a table with Vladimir Putin. He later argued that Russia didn’t pay him. They paid his agent who then paid him. It’s that kind of logic that’ll get you a high-ranking position with the Trump administration…that and being compromised by the Russians.
President Obama advised Donald Trump NOT to hire Michael Flynn, probably because he’s compromised by the Russians. So naturally, Trump hired Michael Flynn as his National Security Adviser, and once again, proving President Obama is much smarter than he is. Flynn didn’t last a month as he had to be fired, supposedly for lying to the vice-president (sic) over his communications with…take a guess…Russians.
Later, he struck a plea-bargain admitting guilt in lying to the FBI which he later recanted probably because he knew he’d get a Trump pardon. Trump’s Justice Department tried to drop the case that Robert Mueller has already sent to the courts. Later, Donald Trump pardoned Flynn.
Then, Flynn took an oath pledging loyalty to Qanon which supersedes the oath he took swearing loyalty and to protect the United States and Constitution. In the aftermath of Trump losing the election, Flynn, and the attorney they shared, conspiracy theorist Sidney Powell, met with Trump in the Oval Office and suggested he suspend the Constitution, silence the press (people like me), declare martial law, and use the military to conduct a new election. Remember, this fucker took an oath to defend our nation and the Constitution and he’s in the Oval freaking Office, after being compromised by Russians and lying to the FBI, advocating the president (sic) suspend the Constitution and overthrow an election with a military coup. Go to Hell, Michael Flynn.
After Trump left the White House, because he lost the election to President Biden by seven million votes, Flynn voiced support for a “Myanmar-style coup” to restore Trump to power. Then, he got banned from Twitter for life.
Like all Trump supporters, and Trump himself, Michael Flynn was never about loyalty to the United States, patriotism, democracy, the Constitution, or free elections. Remember when we all shared those same principles, no matter our party affiliation? Turns out during all those years, Republicans were lying. Reinstating, or putting anybody in the White House without winning an election is un-American (except you, Gerald Ford, but that was a technicality). Even spreading the Big Lie is un-American.
That was just a brief summary of the lunacy, criminality, and sedition of Michael Flynn. There’s much more. Oh, so much more. There’s a lot about his denial and theories of the coronavirus and vaccines. He’s claimed in the past that the coronavirus is a hoax, was used to destroy Trump and to control us, and that you need a vaccine passport to travel. Now, he should know that’s a lie because he’s been traveling all over the country to speak at lunatic conventions about how you need a vaccine passport to travel. And last night, he supported a brand new conspiracy theory that the vaccine is being hidden in food, specifically salad dressing.
As a reader of mine already pointed out on the posting of this cartoon on Facebook, that dressing would Russian.
Appearing on some internet conspiracy show, Flynn said, “Somebody sent me a thing this morning where they’re talking about putting the vaccine into salad dressing. Or salads. Have you seen this? I mean it’s—and I’m thinking to myself, this is the Bizarro World, right? This is definitely the Bizarro World. … These people are seriously thinking about how to impose their will on us in our society, and it has to stop.” Really, Michael? A “thing?” I got a thing for ya’, you lying disgusting betraying traitor.
What is bizarre is Flynn was actually our National Security Adviser for 24 days. No, not the 24-days part.
There is a study by the University of California researching how vaccines could be grown in food, like plants (in case you’re a Republican, plants are what most salads consist of), so people could ingest their vaccines instead of being jabbed. But this is for the future, not now, and not to trick people. It probably won’t even be for COVID because hopefully, and if idiots like Flynn could stop getting in the way of it, COVID won’t exist anymore by the time we get edible vax.
There are people researching time travel and I know for a fact that doesn’t exist yet because if it did, Donald Trump never would have been president and we’d all be saying, “Michael Flynn who?”. Researching something doesn’t mean we have it. Wilbur and Orville had to research flight before they could actually fly. They didn’t just suddenly put a pair of wings on a bicycle and go, “Wheeee!”
I also know the government isn’t hiding vaccines to the coronavirus in salads. How do I know this? Because if the deep-state government people were hiding the vaccine to trick Trump cultists and Republicans, they wouldn’t be hiding it in salads. That wouldn’t help us stop the virus at all.
How do you trick a dog to eat a pill? You wrap the pill in cheese or peanut butter. You don’t put the pill inside cauliflower. You want the dog to eat it, not just look at with a quizzical expression. And if you give a dog cauliflower, he might run away. I would.
So Michael Flynn is trying to suggest the vaccine is hidden in a patch of arugula? Why didn’t he just claim it’s in sushi? We’d never get the vaccine inside them if they have to learn how to use chopsticks. Fork that!
But, Republicans aren’t eating a lot of vegetables. Look at Trump. He’s never eaten a salad in his life. He thinks the five food groups are, KFC, Big Macs, ketchup, hot dogs, and Arby’s. George H.W. Bush took an official presidential position against broccoli. The entire Republican Party freaked out when First Lady Michelle Obama tried to introduce more salads to America’s schoolchildren. No, if are going to hide the vaccine to trick Republicans, which will be easier than getting dogs to eat cheese, we’ll hide it in some shit they’ll actually eat.
Let’s start with Chick-fil-a. If nothing else, we can scare them from eating there and helping Chick-fil-a finance homophobic hate groups.
Here’s the plan, folks: We hide the vaccine in food the Chick-fil-a menu. We put that shit in their nuggets, their chicken sandwiches, their waffle fries. We’ll even put it in the lemonade. Chick-fil-a has salads but like the ones at McDonalds, I’m sure they’re just for show. Who the fuck goes to McDonalds to eat a salad?
Now, on Sundays, since Chick-fil-a is closed because they’re religious zealots, we’ll hide the vax in food at Cracker Barrel and Cheesecake Factory. Although we’re not actually doing any of this, let’s just say we are…and spread the word.
We, here at Deep-State Incorporated, in conjunction with our reptilian people baby-eating brethren, by praying to Satan, have also created an inhalable vaccine. We’re putting that in MyPillows.
Spread the word.
Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.
Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.
Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.
claytoonz 