Coronavirus

Blue State, Red State, Trump State, Dead State


cjones09202020

This morning, a friend of mine, Rob Southall, posted, “If you take away the blue states, nobody died on 9/11.” And you know if Donald Trump replaced FDR, we wouldn’t have reacted to Japan bombing Pearl Harbor since it was in a blue state.

One of my Trump-supporting Facebook “friends” posted a long, boring, ridiculous diatribe written by someone else who wasn’t credited, but it argued how Donald Trump wasn’t divisive. Yes, I wrote that correctly. It argued it wasn’t Donald Trump who is divisive. These are the same people who supported the birther theory, called President Obama a terrorist, a monkey, questioned his religion, and called his wife a man. But on the same day my Trump-cultist “friend” posted that, Donald Trump made comments that indicated to him, blue states don’t count.

Donald Trump said, “Blue states had tremendous death rates. If you take the blue states out, we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at.”

Late night host Seth Myers said, “I’m sure Trump’s not our first sociopath president, but he’s definitely the first one who’s open about it.”

And as usual, Donald Trump is wrong. If all our red states, states that voted for Donald Trump, and formed a nation, that red state nation would be in the top ten internationally of deaths from the coronavirus in developed nations…excuse me…the TRUMP virus. Of course, you have to believe Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, and West Virginia are developed.

There are more deaths in blue states than red. One reason for that is…more people live there. Case in point, the states that voted blue outnumbered the people in red states.

We are still one nation even though Donald Trump fails to act that way as president. Donald Trump implied that deaths in blue states don’t matter as much to him, since they didn’t vote for him. He’s been trying to claim success for his horrible handling and lying over the Trump virus while also blaming governors of blue states for his failures. He even blamed Joe Biden, who doesn’t hold any position in the government, for not enacting a mask mandate. Seriously. He also blamed President Obama for not developing a vaccine for the Trump virus even though it didn’t exist during his two terms.

There have also been claims that Jared Kushner, Donald Trump’s idiot son-in-law who is an adviser, planned to use deaths in blue states politically, to help Trump’s reelection. He thought it would be smart politics to let Americans die. Whether that’s true or not, a lot of Americans died on Donald Trump’s watch. And when people died from this virus, whether they were in a blue state or a red state, they died under Donald Trump’s watch.

There was even a plan to mail five face masks to every American family but someone blocked that. Someone in the White House wanted Americans to die.

Donald Trump’s comments perfectly illustrates why I will never call him “President” Trump. It’s because he doesn’t want to be my president. He only wants to be president of his base. A president is supposed to be president of the entire nation and not just those Yee-Haw motherfuckers that voted for him. As it is now, Donald Trump’s entire reelection campaign is focused on the electoral college and not the popular vote. Donald Trump is only appealing to that Yee-Haw base and plans to win without the popular vote…again.

And in case you’re keeping track, the Republican Party has only won the popular vote for president ONCE since 1988. In case you’re a Republican, that was over 30 years ago.

Former White House aides have been coming out over the past few weeks saying Donald Trump only cares about his reelection. He doesn’t care about the Trump virus. He doesn’t care if you die, especially if you live in a blue state. There will be more former aides coming out in the coming weeks.

Seth Myers also said Orange Mussolini’s blue states comment was the most honest articulation of Trump’s beliefs. “If you can’t empower or enrich him personally, then he doesn’t care about you,” which makes the point the former White House aides are making.

Seth also said, “As someone who lives in one of those states and knows people affected by this virus, I would just like to say, go fuck yourself you rotting, soulless business ham.”

Yeah. What Seth said.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Widespread Panic


cjones09132020

Donald Trump’s excuse for lying to the public about the realities of the coronavirus is that he didn’t want to cause a panic. That’s what he told Bob Woodward on the tapes. That’s what Kayleigh McEnany told us yesterday. And that’s what Trump repeated and claimed was leadership. But those of us who live in reality have already been panicking since election night in 2016.

After Bob Woodward’s book “Fear” came out without any cooperation from Donald Trump, he decided to be interviewed for the next one. For “Rage,” Donald Trump gave 18 interviews. He agreed to be recorded. As it turns out, he’d often call Woodward late at night, probably right after he got off the phone with Sean Hannity.

It’s not shocking Donald Trump would lie to us. I even saw that as a defense from one fucknut on social media yesterday. What’s shocking is that Donald Trump totally understood the dangers of the virus, that it was worse than the flu, it was airborne, it was dangerous to children, and that he admitted all of that to Bob Woodward on tape. Yes, Donald Trump agreed to be recorded.

Kayleigh McEnany defended Donald Trump yesterday and argued he never downplayed the virus. The problem here for Ms. McEnany, who swore on her first day on the job as Donald Trump’s spokesgoon that she’d never lie to us, is that on the recording, Donald Trump says he’s “downplaying” it and he likes “downplaying” it.

OK. Let’s accept that for a second. He didn’t want to cause a panic. That makes it sound as if he was genuinely concerned for the public’s safety…even though he acted irresponsibly. But, if he had the public’s safety in mind, then why did he continue to hold Trump rallies? Trump held five rallies after his confession to Woodward that the virus was more dangerous than the flu. He put thousands of lives at risk. His friend, Herman Cain died after a rally. Donald Trump continues to politicize and mock people for wearing face masks. He pushed states to reopen. He screamed for people to pack churches. He campaigned to put kids back in schools. He continued to describe it as the flu. Donald Trump disregarded your and your family’s safety.

Donald Trump didn’t just keep information to himself. He lied about it. He claimed it was the “Democrats new hoax.” He said it’d disappear by April. He said, “Everyone who needs a test, gets a test.”

We knew how dangerous the virus was. Donald Trump didn’t know anything we didn’t know already. But, his lying about it fed his base bullshit. His base doesn’t listen to facts. They only listen to Trump. If Donald Trump had acted more swiftly in March to shut down factories, schools, and stopped conducting rallies…and maybe had told his people to wear face masks instead of tweeting out, “Liberate Michigan,” it would have saved thousands of lives.

From calling service members “losers and suckers,” to disclosures that intelligence on Russian meddling was withheld to save him from embarrassment, to withholding information on a virus and costing more lives, each day contains more revelations that Donald Trump is the worst president in American history.

Woodward’s new book also reveals people closest to Donald Trump believe he’s a disaster. Former Defense Secretary James Mattis called Trump “dangerous” and “unfit.” Dan Coats, former director of national intelligence, wanted to take “collective action” and speak out publicly against Trump. Coats also said Trump “doesn’t know the difference between the truth and a lie” and believed the Russians had something on Trump.

Dr. Anthony Fauci told Woodward Trump’s attention span is like a “minus number.”

Donald Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner told people the book “Alice in Wonderland” can help them understand the Trump presidency, and described him as the Cheshire Cat. This was Kushner speaking positively about Trump.

Also in the book, Trump said, “My fucking generals are a bunch of pussies” who care more about military alliances than trade deals. He also rejected having any white privilege and accused Woodward of “drinking the Kool-Aid” for believing in systemic racism.

Yesterday, I saw a post from a Trump supporter attempting to defend the revelations that Trump was lying about the virus. He, trying to be clever, “marked himself safe from Donald Trump not creating a panic.” I like he used that because it shows what Trump conservatives find humorous and clever. But it was a huge fail at being clever as it also shows how obtuse and stupid Trumplicans are because there’s over 190,000 who can’t “mark themselves safe” from the Donald Trump presidency.

What Donald Trump did was irresponsible, negligent, careless, and criminal. He betrayed the American people. Protecting the American people is job number one for a president. Donald Trump failed. Donald Trump only protects Donald Trump.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about creating a panic except when he cares enough to create a panic. He’s been fear mongering since 2015. He runs on panic. Panic is all he has.

If you really want to avoid creating a panic, then don’t put a stupid racist narcissistic reality TV show host into the White House.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Woodward Strikes Again


cjones09122020

What’s more shocking? That Donald Trump withheld that he understood fully well just how dangerous the conoravirus was while he was playing it down to the rest of the nation…or that Donald Trump understood something fully well?

This is a bonus cartoon and more information is coming out about this. I want to learn more, and wait for more reactions, before I write a lot about it. I owe you a blog on this. 

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Demon Pillows


cjones08212020

We have to stop treating these people like they’re normal.

Donald Trump is not a normal person. Donald Trump is a conspiracy theorist totally devoid of ethics and a fraud. And if someone else happens to come along pushing bogus conspiracy theories and talking fruit loops out of their ass, Donald Trump will support their message as long as there’s praise for him in it.

Take Dr. Demon Sperm. That crazy lady in Houston claimed she had treated and cured over 300 people with Hydroxychloroquine. Never mind we still haven’t seen any evidence of that. Perhaps we were distracted by her claims of deep state lizard people, Alien DNA being used to cure people, and sex dreams with demons causing havoc in vaginas. But, because she promoted Hydroxychloroquine, Donald Trump said she’s “very impressive.”

Thankfully, there are still journalists who will call out bullshit. Journalists like CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who may have had too much fun with Mike Lindell yesterday.

You can argue that by giving someone like Mike Lindell a platform on CNN legitimizes the guy. But Donald Trump has already brought the dude up at one of his fake coronavirus briefings, so bring him on…and use the platform to expose him for the fraud he is. After what we saw yesterday, he’s less credible than the Doctor Demon Sperm. Hey, at least she had the good sense not to allow Anderson Cooper to expose her.

You know who Mike Lindell is. He’s the MyPillow guy selling shit pillows on Fox News. His pillows are totally propping up Tucker Carlson’s shows as other advertisers flee over his racism. MyPillow doesn’t have a problem with racists. In fact, I hear 4 out of 5 tiki-torch Nazis prefer MyPillow over non-Nazi pillows. OK. I made that up but as Mark Meadows would argue, there’s no evidence that it’s not true. No word yet on the pillow preference of sex demons.

Now, the MyPillow guy is touting a cure for the coronavirus. Wow! A cure you say? Lindell is pushing oleandrin as a potential therapeutic for COVID-19. oleandrin actually comes from a plant that is toxic. What is the MyPillow guy’s medical expertise? He has none. What’s his experience with drugs? He did a lot of cocaine. What’s his connection to this new miracle drug? He’s on the board of the company selling it which gives him a financial stake. But you know, Lindell says Jesus sent him.

Fortunately, Anderson Cooper destroyed Lindell yesterday for the entire world to see.

Lindell does not like the media and he’s referred to it in the past, usually while appearing on Fox News, as evil. But for some reason, he took his chances with Anderson Cooper.

Anderson Cooper pointed out Lindell had no medical expertise, was going to financially benefit, and that he had been exposed as a fraud in the past. Lindell used to run commercials claiming MyPillow cured various diseases. He later settled a lawsuit with several counties in California over the bogus claim. His business has an F rating from the Better Business Bureau for offering a buy-one-get-one-free campaign where if you paid double for one pillow, then you got a second.

Yesterday, Mike Lindell said he wouldn’t stake his great reputation on this cure if it didn’t work. Anderson Cooper pointed out that Lindell doesn’t have a great reputation. That’s about where I lost it and laughed for about two hours straight. The look on Lindell’s face was priceless. Perhaps what’s also hurting his reputation is using these appearances to also claim Donald Trump is the greatest president ever.

Lindell also pointed out that Ben Carson was behind this new cure. Oy! In the past, Ben Carson promoted a drug for a company that was paying him to give speeches, donating to his scholarship fund, and underwrote a TV special for him. But hey, let’s trust HUD Secretary Ben Carson, who doesn’t know the difference between REO and Oreo cookies.

Mike Lindell argued this drug has passed several tests yet wouldn’t provide proof or details. As someone else who I forget pointed out recently, legitimate medical studies are usually published in medical journals, not YouTube, and they’re definitely not reserved to be promoted by the MyPillow guy.

The MyPillow guy claimed the Food and Drug Administration has had the results of the tests since April, but there’s been no acknowledgement of that.

Last March, at one of Trump’s bogus coronavirus briefings, he brought Lindell out who promised his company would use its resources to produce 50,000 face masks a day for hospitals. I did a little research to see how that went and all I can find is that they definitely made face masks. In fact, at his MyPillow website, you can purchase 10 of them for $20.00. And in a great deal, you can purchase 20 for $40. I don’t know why he didn’t promote 10 for $40 and you get 10 more for free.

Yesterday, Lindell said, “I do what Jesus has me do.” Beware of people who say they’re doing God’s work while making a profit. It’s like a president donating his salary while forcing the government to pay for shitty hotel rooms and golf cart rentals at his resort. Or you know, using the presidency to force events like the G7 Summit and the British Open to be held at his shitty resorts. Do they use MyPillows in prisons?

Lindell claims he gave this new miracle cure to friends and family members and again, without proof.

Anderson summed it up best and to Lindell’s face when he said, “You really are like a snake oil salesman.” This entire administration and their friends are snake oil salesmen. Usually, they come with lines like, “Make America great again.”

I wouldn’t trust Lindell with any of his products. I wouldn’t put my head on his crappy pillows. I wouldn’t put one of his face masks on my face. And I definitely wouldn’t trust him with medication from a poisonous plant.

Mike Lindell is insane and a total fraud. He’s a conman and a grifter just like the man he’s a sycophant for. And in addition to selling snake oil, he’s selling bullshit.

And if you’re ever unsure if someone is legit or a total fraud, look for the signs. The first sign is they’re a Trump supporter.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Pootie Juice


cjones08162020

As President Ronald Reagan’s relationship with Soviet Premiere Mikhail Gorbachev got warmer, he said about their negotiations over a nuclear treaty, “Trust but verify.” Today, as we deal with Russians, it’s not just them we can’t trust. We can’t trust our own president (sic).

While Ronald Reagan wasn’t the most trustworthy person himself (Hello? Iran/Contra anyone?), he didn’t push conspiracy theories or worst of all, become a poodle for the Russian leader.

This week, Russia announced it had developed a vaccine for the coronavirus. Yay. Problem solved. Let’s reopen schools, get this economy rolling again, and play some football. Above all else, make sure you vote for Donald Trump, and don’t forget to thank him. Uh…not just yet.

There’s a reason Donald Trump relates so well with Russian President Vladimir Putin. It’s that they’re both dishonest, corrupt, and are both fashionable. Wait. Not “fashionable.” Fascist.

Vladimir Putin is touting this drug that’ll probably be endorsed by Doctor Demon Sperm. Fascist of the Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte, says he’s going to take it. Putin claims one of his daughters has taken it. We don’t know how many children Putin has but that daughter is probably his least favorite. Maybe she listens to Pussy Riot.

The thing is, this vaccine has only been tested for two months on humans. And, if it’s only been tested on Trump sycophants, then it hasn’t been tested on humans at all. More like nutless monkeys.

In a rush to be first, they may be releasing a corrupt vaccine. Doctors in the U.S. and Europe have expressed concern over the vaccine not being tested enough. The World Health Organization has listed six vaccinations, with over 100 being developed worldwide, that have reached phase three of clinical trials. The Putin Vaccine is not one of them. For all we know, after you take it, you might grow a tail and get fuzzy nipples.

As one European health official said, “Based on everything we know, this has not been sufficiently tested. It’s not about being first somehow. It’s about having a safe vaccine.” Another said, “We do not know the methodology or the results of their clinical trials.” We’re being told not to ask what’s in it and to just drink it. As Donald Trump would see, “We’ll see what happens.” What might happen is growing a tail.

Here in the states, Dr. Anthony Fauci isn’t a true believer. He said, “I hope that the Russians have actually definitively proven that the vaccine is safe and effective. I seriously doubt that they’ve done that.” And like with Trump, if Putin promises, it’s probably not just a lie, but dangerous and stupid.

But nations with corrupt and really bad horrible rotten leadership are excited to try without asking questions. Duterte said, “I believe the vaccine that you have produced is really good for humanity. I will be the first one to be experimented on.” But how does he know it’s “really good for humanity”? Because Putin told him so? Israel is already lining up to purchase. I wouldn’t trust a band-aid from Putin. But you know, if people like Duterte and Benjamin Netanyahu want to be the first to be “experimented” on, then maybe this isn’t all bad though I’m not looking forward to seeing Bibi’s hairy nipples. Anyone else?

Since horrible leaders are trusting Putin on this vaccine, where does Donald Trump stand? Trump trusts Putin over our intelligence agencies. Hell, he trusts Dr. Demon Sperm over Dr. Fauci. If you’re saying what Donald Trump wants to hear, he’ll buy it. The Russian vaccine may put Donald Trump, the anti-vaxxer, into a precarious position. Trump has also said we’ll have a vaccine by election day, which means he may eagerly accept Putin’s vaccine. Most experts don’t believe we’ll have a viable vaccine until the middle of next year. In case you’re a Republican, next year is 2021.

And since Donald Trump says we should have a regular football season, it’s all the more reason we shouldn’t.

Trump thinks the Trump Virus won’t be a concern with football since college athletes are young and healthy. He also spreads lies that the virus isn’t contagious from small children and touts how it only kills a few of them, so go ahead and send them back to school. Isn’t that the pro-gun argument?

It’s like Donald Trump doesn’t understand the virus is transmittable. Sure, the virus won’t kill a lot of football players. Maybe it’ll only kill a few and if we’re lucky, they’ll just be punters or Tom Brady (I kid!!!! mostly). But these healthy players will give it to people who aren’t so young, like Alabama coach Nick Saban. Hmm. Maybe we should play football.

But, just in case you’re just now tuning in, Donald Trump is an idiot. If he thinks college football should be played this season, then it shouldn’t. It’s weird Donald Trump wants us to play football, send kids to school, get everybody back to work…but delay the election.

The thing is, kids, we’re not going to see anything close to normal until there is a vaccine and unfortunately, the first few we see probably won’t be legit.

And hey, I’m not a fan of having to wear a mask, especially for four hours straight in an airplane and two hours during a Houston layover yesterday, but it has to be done for now. Maybe forever. And just like with the face masks, I would hate to not have a football season but playing football right now is probably stupid. I’m sorry it’s not normal not having a football season…but these are not normal times.

If we really want to get back to normal, or as close to it as possible, then we shouldn’t extend ourselves into frivolous activities, like football and biker rallies. Hell, we’ve shut down the more important ones like going to school and work.

Maybe we shouldn’t be going back to school or playing sports until people can meet the president without taking  Trump Virus test beforehand.

Hopefully, that president will be Joe Biden.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Unconstitutional Slop


cjones08142020

“We don’t want to continue to watch people signing executive orders because that was not what the Constitution and the brilliant designers of this incredible document had in mind. We need people that can make deals.”

That’s a direct quote from Donald Trump in March 2016. In fact, all Republicans were critical of President Barack Obama’s use of executive orders. They accused him of being an imperial president.

Fun fact: Donald Trump was also critical of President Obama’s handling of the Swine Flu, Ebola Virus, and how often he played golf. Donald Trump said President Obama should resign over his handling of Ebola, which killed zero Americans who contracted it while in the U.S. It’s estimated the Swine Flu killed over 12,000 Americans. In case you’re a Republican, the Trump Virus has killed over 163,000 Americans and Donald Trump still hasn’t resigned.

But being hypocrites is nothing new for Donald Trump or the Republican Party.

Unable to reach a deal with Democrats to help Americans get through the pandemic after their $600 a week unemployment benefits have run out and to save them from evictions, Donald Trump signed an executive order…but wait.

Didn’t Donald Trump tell us he’s a great negotiator? Didn’t he say nobody can negotiate better than him? Didn’t he say negotiating with Congress and other nations was easy? Didn’t he say something about being such a great negotiator that we’ll get tired of winning? So, why was he unable to reach a deal with Democrats? Why did he give up? But wait again.

Donald Trump, this great negotiator, never negotiated. Sure, he sent underlings to negotiate with Nancy Pelosi, but didn’t we elect him for his negotiating skills? We didn’t elect him to delegate that responsibility to Pete Navarro, Larry Kudlow, Mark Meadows, Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, Stephen Goosesteppin’ Miller, or even dumbass Jared. We (as in other people, I didn’t elect him), elected Trump for his great negotiating skills? So, why wasn’t he negotiating before deciding to be an “imperial” president?

The thing is, he’s not a great negotiator and he’s scared of Nancy Pelosi. Remember when Donald Trump shut down the government over wall funding? Pelosi gave him some funding for his racist and useless wall, but he wanted more. After a month of the government being shut down, Donald Trump negotiated himself into getting nothing. Donald Trump, this great negotiator, negotiated himself from getting something into getting nothing. Pelosi ate his lunch and she was going to do it again. Donald Trump is signing executive orders because he’s afraid of Nancy. He should be.

One of Donald Trump’s executive orders says unemployed Americans will now receive $400 a week. You can also look at this as a reduction because it is. In case you’re a Republican, 4 is less than 6. Also, $100 of that is supposed to come from states. In case you’re a Republican, the president can’t tell states how to spend their budgets. Also, presidents don’t control spending. Congress allocates spending. It’s in the Constitution.

I love that Republicans call themselves Constitutionalists except when it actually comes to the Constitution.

Also, Donald Trump has cut the payroll tax except, he didn’t. It’s like when he banned flights from China when he didn’t.

In case you’re a Republican, I’m going to explain how this works. 7% of your paycheck goes to Social Security and Medicare. Your employer matches it. In case you’re a Republican, 7 plus 7 equals 14. What Trump did with this was not a cut but a deferral. What does that mean, Republicans? That means you don’t have to pay that tax now but you will later. In fact, you’ll probably have to pay all the weeks missed at once. When that hits you, remember Donald Trump did it.

The idea here is, stupid Americans will notice a larger paycheck between now and November, say, “Golly gee willikins, Mr. Trump gave me more money. I’m going to vote for him because I’m a dumbass.” And then after November, wham! The bill hits. Then, those stupid Trump voters will say, “Damn you, Nancy!” Or, if Joe Biden is president, those fuckers will blame him. Seriously, that’s going to happen. Watch.

Fortunately, some employers will continue to withhold that money so when the bill does come in, you won’t be hit or even have to worry about it.

But I am looking forward to Donald Trump running on the message that he’s going to destroy Social Security and Medicare. He’s already running a campaign promising to strip Americans of healthcare coverage.

Not all Republicans were hypocrites about Trump’s executive orders. Ben Sasse of Nebraska called it “executive slop.” In case you’re a Republican, Ben Sasse is a Republican.

Donald Trump thinks this is the kind of stuff that makes him a great president. Why, he even called the Governor of South Dakota to inquire how to get his head on Mount Rushmore, not realizing the monument is a federal thing and governors can’t do anything with them. Frankly, I’m surprised he called the right state, and right now, Ron DeSantis isn’t trying to figure out how to put Trump on Rushmore.

There should be a monument for Donald Trump. A monument for really bad presidents. We’re talking about the worst here and not just the semi lazy. A monument for presidents who didn’t know what to do, were clueless, shouldn’t have been in the office, and even those who refused to do the job they were installed by a Russian dictator to do (actually, he’s doing those jobs).

I can see Trump’s head next to Filmore, Harding, Hoover, Buchanan, Nixon, and George W. Bush. To make it more realistic, we can make Trump’s head bigger than the rest.

We can call it Mount Suckmore.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Bikers For Trump Virus


cjones08132020

The annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally kicked off this week in South Dakota and there are fears the event will be a “superspreader” event for the Trump Virus.

Sturgis is a small town with a population of around 7,000. The biker rally has brought between 500,000 to 700,000 people to Sturgis in the past though this year, it’s estimated to be much smaller at around 250,000.

Even though Donald Trump’s Tulsa hate rally was a disappointment of 6,000 attendees when they were expecting 100,000, that’s still too high of a crowd to be mingling in during a pandemic. Ask Herman Cain. The 250,000 currently in Sturgis is even worse as masks and social distancing are not required. In case you’re a Republican, 250 is greater than 6.

Apparently, most bikers are conservative in their politics. I think it’s safe to assume any attending Sturgis this week are pro-Trump. They’re not wearing masks or practicing social distancing and they’re at a huge rally during a pandemic. Do they believe the virus is overblown and not as dangerous as scientists claim? According to the founder of Bikers For Trump, yes.

Chris Cox, the founder of the organization for stupid people who ride motorcycles, referred to the pandemic as a “plan-demic” organized by the “left” to sink the economy and hurt Donald Trump.

Talking to Boris Sanchez on CNN Saturday night, Cox said, “A lot of predictions have been made. There were predictions that over 5% of the people that caught this would actually die when actually it’s less than 1%. We’ve have to mitigate these predictions and put them in perspective, and a lot of us believe this might be a ‘plan-demic’ as opposed to a pandemic and I for one am one of them.”

He went on to say the virus is “being blown out of proportion” and “polarized by the left because of the simple fact they would like mail-in ballots and that might be the only chance they have of beating our president (sic) if they have an opportunity to maybe cheat a little bit.”

There’s the first stupid right-wing talking point: Mail-in ballots being used to “cheat a little bit.” The fact is, there is no evidence of widespread voter fraud with mail-in ballots and this nation has been doing it since the Civil War. The other horrifying fact for Republicans it that the higher the turnout, the worse Republicans do.

Stupid Bikers For Trump guy also said, “I think this is planned by the left to sink this amazing economy that our president has built greater than anyone else and that these numbers are being just exaggerated across the board.”

There’s the second stupid right-wing talking point: Trump built this “amazing” economy. First off, the economy we have right now, it is amazing and Donald Trump did build it…or more to the point, he destroyed it. It’s amazing how horrible it’s doing. But the economy Mr. Cox is probably talking about is the one before the pandemic that Donald Trump inherited from President Barack Obama.

He also pushed a third right-wing talking point, that a lot of people were dying from other causes yet doctors and coroners were falsifying their death certificates to claim they died from the Trump Virus.

Here’s my favorite part from the Biker For Trump dude: When asked about a specific “nefarious organization” planning the virus, instead of saying something realistic, like “no,” Cox said, “I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I need to see hard evidence before I am able to ascertain an answer for that.” Then, after stating he’s not a conspiracy theorist, he claimed he knew a doctor in South Carolina who sent in a clear swab “and it came back he was positive.” He also claimed he knew people who got tired of waiting in line for a test so they left, and later it was reported they tested positive.

This non-conspiracy theorist was pressed by Sanchez to supply the doctor’s name and contact information, and for further details about people who didn’t test but were later told they were positive after the interview. Sanchez even offered for him to take that information to another news organization like Fox News. I’m going to let you guess how that turned out. I’ll give you a hint: It didn’t.

Another fun lie from Cox: He claimed there are more women in leadership positions in this administration than ever before.

Once again, we can’t get anyone on television promoting Trump without lying. This Cox guy lied his biker balls off. Once again, you can’t find anyone supporting Donald Trump isn’t batshit crazy or stupid.

I don’t think Sanchez anticipated getting a conspiracy theorist on his show. Cox is the leader of a pro-Trump organization and a former Congressional candidate. But Sanchez did an excellent job of shooting down the bullshit. You can argue these loons shouldn’t be given airtime for their lies, but you can also argue that since Fox News and OANN are giving it to them, then the other networks should invite them on to debunk their lies and conspiracy theories.

But in case Chris Cox, the founder for Bikers For Trump is reading this: Mr. Cox, you are a conspiracy theorist and you are relying on lies to support your confirmation bias. What you are doing is dangerous. I hope I never see you spreading your bullshit on TV ever again. Peddle your stupid ass home and shut up.

Bikers like to say they take risks every time they ride. Riding a motorcycle is dangerous, even if you’re a great rider. Now, they say they’re willing to take risks with the Trump Virus. But, once again, they’re not just risking their lives. They’re risking everyone’s lives. And they’re risking all our lives by supporting Donald Trump, who’s allowed the Trump Virus to kill over 162,0000 Americans.

The biker rally will last ten days. Very few people will show signs of the Trump Virus while they’re in Sturgis. But wait a few days and we’ll start seeing signs across the country and read news reports about how someone who tested positive was at Sturgis…and then he droves across the country.

These people are risking a lot of lives for their politics. They’re risking lives for Donald Trump, lies, and conspiracy theories. Herman Cain did the same thing. Ask him how that worked out.

Bikers For Trump are just like all organizations for Trump. They should all merge under one name.

Stupid People For Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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An Argument For School Beatings


cjones08082020

Yesterday, I read a post by a conservative Trump-supporting fucknut who claimed his child’s pediatrician is all for schools reopening and for children to attend classes in person. There’s always that one dentist who endorses the cavity-creating gum.

First off, he’s probably lying because this person does that a LOT, plus, he’s a Trump supporter which also means he could be lying or not comprehending what the pediatrician actually said. But the big takeaway I have from this is, get another pediatrician. Or maybe your kid should find new parents.

It’s bad enough your pediatrician is playing politics with your child’s life, but you? You’re willing to throw your kid off a cliff and believe there’s a net to catch him because Donald Trump, who has told over 20,000 lies as president, says there’s a net?

Everybody wants schools to reopen. Just like nobody is arguing the country should be closed permanently, I haven’t heard anyone make the case for never reopening schools. I remember when my kid was little. I remember pulling my hair out. I remember wanting to run away and never to be seen or heard from again. I remember those days of wanting to kill your kid while still loving him. I remember hours upon hours of, “why?”. I get it. Get those kids out of the house and back in school. But I know now is not the time.

Southern states made an argument to reopen in the midst of the Trump Virus. They were wrong and more people died. Donald Trump made an argument to restart his hate rallies. He was wrong and people died. Ask Herman Cain. Oh wait. You can’t. So, the same people who were wrong about reopening their states and hate rallies still want to try it with schools? They still want to play politics with your kids’ lives?

Yesterday, Donald Trump said kids are “virtually immune” to the Trump Virus. That’s not wrong. It’s a flat-out lie. He knows it’s a lie and he keeps saying it. Remember his other lies about the virus? It’s going to disappear? It’ll be gone by Easter? Everyone who wants a test can get a test? Hey, take some malaria medication? Hey, drink bleach?

Here’s a crazy idea that’s as wild as not voting for the candidate endorsed by Russia: Don’t listen to Donald Trump especially when it comes to the life of your child. Don’t support the candidate willing to sacrifice your child for his own personal gain.

Here’s a test about whether or not you’re in a cult: If you’re still supporting the guy willing to kill your kid for his narcissism, you’re in a cult. Here’s another one: If you’re defending Dr. Demon Sperm, you’re in a cult (I’m looking at you, every Republican political cartoonist).

But then again, Donald Trump did make a very strong argument for the importance of education. Kids need school. If they don’t go, they may never become fully literate. If that happens, someday they may be forced to read aloud as an adult and they won’t be able to pronounce “Yosemite.”

To sum up, until we can get our kids back in school, Dr. Clay recommends hours on top of hours of old Bugs Bunny cartoons. Look how I turned out?

Disclaimer: I’m not a real doctor, but I have drawn cartoons of them.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Why, Covid, Why?


cjones08072020

In the midst of a pandemic, it seems the safest and surest way of voting would be by mail. Naturally, the idea of as many Americans as possible exercising their Constitutional right to vote for their chosen candidate scares the hell out of Republicans. Why? Because Republicans do better with fewer people voting. Republicans do better when they disenfranchise people from voting.

More people vote for Democrats than for Republicans in this country. That’s a fact. The only way Republicans control the Senate is because there are two Senators for each state. There are 42 states in this country that has a smaller population than Los Angeles County alone. So, a state like Wyoming, which only has around 580,000 people has just as much representation in the United States Senate as California, a state with a population approaching 40 million. One of the mantras of the American Revolution was, “No taxation without representation.” What about under-representation?

The 22 smallest U.S. states would have to be added together to match California’s population. So basically, there are 38 million Americans with 44 Senators and there is another 38 million with only 2. So our Senate system is unfair. Why should Californians be punished and under-represented? This is the same argument with the electoral college. Republicans believe acres of dirt should have more representation than people in blue states.

It’s just as bad with Congress. While you can’t gerrymander a state, you can with districts. Both parties have played the game of gerrymandering by redrawing district lines when their party controls their state legislature. But Republicans are much worse, or perhaps much better at it. In 2018, Democrats picked up 38 seats in Congress by winning 53% of the vote nationally in Congressional races. In 1994, during that huge wave of Republicans riding on Newt Gingrich’s Contract With America bullshit, the GOP picked up 54 seats in Congress by winning 51% of the vote.

Do you see what I see? Do you see the fact? Democrats needed a bigger margin of votes to win Congress in 2018…and they still got fewer seats than the GOP did when they took over Congress in 94. Republicans got more with less. How? Cheating!

Why do Democrats need more people to vote to beat Republicans, and still get less when they win? Because Republicans cheat. They gerrymander. They disenfranchise voters. They restrict who can vote. They remove people from voting rolls (Blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, college students, etc). They remove voting precincts in minority neighborhoods. And, they ask foreign nations for help.

Worst of all, Donald Trump is president (sic) despite losing the popular vote. Despite that, Trump supporters love to say he’s the choice of the American people. He wasn’t then and he won’t be in 2020.

And still, Republicans make shit up about voter fraud. The idea here is when Donald Trump loses, there will be doubt among his supporters. There are still idiots for Trump who believe over 3 million non-citizens voted in 2016. They don’t have any proof but then again, they also believe Obama is a Kenyan who wiretapped Trump Tower.

Donald Trump claimed that there were over 3 million illegal voters in 2016. He created an election commission that disbanded after it couldn’t’ find any voter fraud. When Democrat Doug Jones won Jeff Sessions’ former Senate seat in Alabama, Republicans claimed black people were bussed in from Mississippi to vote. Donald Trump even argued that IDs should be required to vote because you need them to buy cereal, probably because one time, Eric was told Trix are for kids.

And now, there are cries about voter fraud with mail-in voting. It doesn’t exist. Donald Trump says absentee voting is fine, but mail-in voting isn’t. He’s fine with absentee voting because that’s how he votes. The thing is, absentee and mail-in voting are the same things.

And now, Donald Trump is suing to stop Nevada from mail-in voting while saying it’s OK if Florida does it. His argument for why it’s OK for Florida but not Nevada? Because Republicans control Florida. This is not a theory or speculation. He said it outright. And since Republicans control Florida, especially a Republican Trump sycophant who would rather watch his people die than risk provoking an angry Trump tweet, they can steal the election for Donald Trump.

Do you remember the hanging chad thing in the 2000 election? Who won Florida that year? The Supreme Court told the state to stop counting after the Republicans there, installed by George W. Bush’s brother, gave him the election. Al Gore won Florida but they gave it to Bush.

Whether it’s mail-in voting or in person, the Republicans are going to try to steal the election. It’s what they do. Why? Because they’re Republicans. They were cheating before Trump came along, but now with Trump, it’s much more brazen and stupid. They don’t hide it well.

Donald Trump literally said he’s OK with mail-in voting in Florida because his corrupt party controls the state.

This time it’s, “DeSantis, if you’re listening.” He’s listening.

Democrats need more to win honestly than Republicans need to win by cheating. The turnout for 2020 needs to be as high as possible. It’s why Trump is fighting to stop mail-in voting, except in Florida, which has a long history of corruption.

While Donald Trump can’t find any evidence of voter fraud, we have plenty of evidence of Republican fraud.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

It Is What It Is


cjones08062020

I’ve heard people say, “It is what it is” my entire life. It seems to have gained a lot of traction over the past two decades. But basically, if you’re in a conversation looking for resolution or an answer or even that the person you’re talking with is concerned about the subject, the expression you do not want to hear is, “It is what it is.”

“Is what it is” is a person telling you they can’t do anything about it, they’re moving on, but they don’t want you to believe they’re throwing their hands in the air and giving up. According to the Urban Dictionary, it means “fuck it.”

And, if you’re hearing the president (sic) of the United States talk on a subject of great concern to the nation, like one that’s killed over 156,000 people, the last thing you want to hear coming out of his rancid, pursed, pucker-up, racist mouth is, “It is what it is.”

It means nothing can be done about it. Of course, Donald Trump can’t bring back the dead, though his supporters might argue he can while walking on water, but when he says, “It is what it is” about 156,000 people dead, he’s saying, “Fuck it. I don’t care. I can’t learn from it. Oh well…what’s for dinner?”

Carrying on the theme of the last blog, Donald Trump doesn’t give a flying fig fuck about you, or anyone, or anything, unless that one or thing is Donald Trump.

Do you know who says, “It is what it is”? People with herpes.

The Urban Dictionary also states it exhibits helplessness. Like we don’t already know Donald Trump is helpless, useless, clueless, and not worth a damn in helping with anything.

It means cry me a river, tough titties, deal with it or don’t, I don’t care, I can’t change it, I don’t know what to do, etc. A man who is 74-years old with a small penis says, “It is what it is.” If it hasn’t gotten bigger by now….It is what it is.

You hear the phrase “it is what it is” from people who were recently fired, kicked out of their band, sent to prison, just dumped out of their relationship, or just washed something red with all their whites. I’ve used it myself to describe my relationships with family members who support Donald Trump. When I say, “It is what it is” about them, it means it’s not going to change and there’s nothing I can or am willing to do about it. It means I’ve given up on them. They’re gone. It means, “Fuck them.”

When Donald Trump says, “It is what it is” about 156,000 dead Americans on his watch, he’s saying “fuck it.”

I say, “Fuck Donald Trump.”

And when Donald Trump is tossed out of the White House to prison, hey…It is what it is.

Note: I wanted to jam this one out quickly so I forgot to record it. So, there will not be an animation for this one. This will bring heartbreak and trauma to about three people.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.