Coronavirus

Famous Last Words


cjones03252020

If you want to, feel free to print this out and use a Sharpie to write the names of yourself and significant other on these characters. Don’t use the Sharpie as a weapon.

We’re day 6 in the federal government’s request that we self-isolate. Have you killed anyone yet? I’m fortunate in that I live alone because I am a loner and people piss me off when they’re doing normal things, like breathing.

I moved into my apartment three weeks ago and it’s the first time in about 20 years that I’ve lived alone if you don’t count a couple months between roommates after I was laid off in 2012. I gotta say, I couldn’t have better timing.

But one thing that’s really cool is that I’ve had several friends call and check up on me. That makes me feel good because if I die alone, then maybe my body will be found within a few days.

I hope we get back to normal, or something that resembles it. I hope businesses open again soon. I hope businesses will start rehiring the people they laid off. I hope we can greet fellow human beings in a normal fashion. I’m looking forward to talking to someone and being closer than six feet. I don’t care what your politics are, I want you to come through this OK, even if you’re a Trump-supporting asshole.

Take care of yourself and those around you. And if you go a few days without seeing a cartoon from me, please send somebody to come look for my body.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Bouncy Bouncy Beach Bums


cjones03242020

Everybody is stressing out over this pandemic. The concern goes beyond getting sick ourselves, or our loved ones being stricken with Covid-19. We’re worried about life as we know it. We’re worried about our income, homes, jobs. We’re worried about so much more than running out of toilet paper. We’re worried about being able to buy food and if food will be available.

At the beginning of this week, businesses started to shut down voluntarily. On Tuesday, state governments were ordering closures or limits on service. Here in Virginia, restaurants, no matter how large they are, are limited to ten customers in their building at a time. This hurts. People in the service industry will be the first to suffer. Already, unemployment numbers are coming in that are huge. We had a stock market crash. Now we’re having an employment crash. This isn’t fear mongering or predictions of doom. This is happening.

Yesterday, when it was time to check out at the grocery store, I decided to use those horrible self-checkout lanes out of safety for myself and the cashiers. People were jammed next to each other, so I stood several feet away waiting for it to clear up. I even waited for a few aisles to clear up before going down them…and old people are really slow. They take their time in a grocery store. When they pick up green bananas, they’re yellow by the time they check out. And they all buy bananas. Why isn’t there a banana shortage? And why do they all buy bananas?

There were a couple of machines available when a lady asked if I was in line. I told her I was but I was social distancing, but if she wanted, she could go before me. She said, “Great” and promptly jammed herself in with the others. She also laughed at me. I hope there’s a tarantula in her bananas.

A friend of mine manages a bar here in town that I never go to. It’s very small and cramped. Kinda dank and skanky too. It’s named after a masturbation technique. It’s like Hooters but with less dignity. But I hear the chicken wings are really good. Anyway, he was posting on social media, upset over the state limiting their services. He believed it should be each individual’s choice on whether or not to take the risk of exposure. Freedom! America! Liberty! No socialist big government telling us what to do! I tried to explain to my friend, it’s not his choice to risk exposing others. I’m not sure he understood that.

I get it. You’re scared. And I’m not sitting here in a lofty tower cartooning, blogging, and casting aspersions on everyone who disagrees with me. Well, at least not without understanding. This pandemic is going to hit all of us and that includes sloppy political cartoonists. When it comes to being afraid and nervous about the future, I’m right there with you.

This is hitting us fast. And while we’re being told we’ll recover, climbing is a lot harder and slower than falling. You have a right to stress out and quite frankly, if you’re not, you’re being extremely naive. Everybody is stressing over this pandemic. Well, almost everybody.

Spring break is this week and the beaches in Florida are pretty full. Millennials have given us another reason to look down our noses at them. They’re not taking this seriously and maybe like Trump supporters, they haven’t accepted the reality yet that this is going to hit them. But they’re doing something much more dangerous. They’re risking exposing themselves…and the ones they love.

Youth is wasted on the young. You feel invincible when you’re young. I did. And if you catch Covid-19, you will probably be OK. You’re young, strong, a rock star, stupid but healthy. It’s time to party. But you’re being selfish. You risk exposing others, especially people older than you, including family members. Are you willing to kill grandma for a wet T-shirt contest? Don’t answer that.

My bar-managing friend isn’t a millennial so it’s not just they who don’t seem to get it. But right now, you better get it before you get it.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Trump, Tropes, And Trots


cjones03232020

Yesterday, I had a Trump supporter tell me to “stop playing the blame game” and stop blaming “President” (sic) Trump. Three days ago, this idiot posted on Facebook that the coronavirus pandemic is a conspiracy. I get asked occasionally, “Why don’t you unfriend these hateful and stupid people?” Because I want to know the latest arguments and talking points they’re using. I want to know the daily outrage.

Usually, the daily outrage is “Obama, Obama, Obama.” Others over the past few months have been Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Adam Schiff, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, the Superbowl halftime show, the “media,” and invisible things that persecute Trump cultists. It’s kinda crept up slowly, but now the outrage is China.

It’s often debated, is Fox News leading Trump or is Trump leading Fox News? It’s both. This time, it’s Fox News giving the talking point to Donald Trump. This time, it’s the “China virus.”

Fox News anchors have been calling the coronavirus the “Chinese virus” and the “Wuhan virus.” Why? because it’s a racist trope that caters to the racist base that makes up their viewership and it deflects blame from Donald Trump.

Now, Trump is using the term “Chinese virus.” He said it’s “not racist at all” and in explaining why he uses it, he said, “It comes from China. That’s why.” He also said he was trying to combat a disinformation campaign by China that the virus was started by the U.S. military. He said, “I didn’t appreciate the fact that China was saying that our military gave it to them. I think saying that our military gave it to them creates a stigma.”

It’s true that China has started a propaganda campaign placing blame on the United States. It’s also true that Trump and his team are waging a disinformation and hate campaign in return. The Secretary of State has referred to it as the “Wuhan virus” at least six times. The Trump campaign said on its website, “America is under attack — not just by an invisible virus, but by the Chinese.” That creates a stigma.

Kellyanne Conway said Donald Trump was trying to be “accurate” and, “I think what the president is saying is that is where it was first started.” Republican fucknut Senator Charles Grassley tweeted, “I don’t understand why China gets upset bc we refer to the virus that originated there the ‘Chinese virus’ Spain never got upset when we referred to the Spanish flu in 1918&1919.” No one is sure where the Spanish Flu originated, with many saying Spain, China, Austria, a UK military camp in France, and…Kansas. It flared up during World War I with most signs pointing at the world’s militaries of being the cause and carriers. It got the name “Spanish Flu” because Spain was neutral and the allies agreed to give them the name, thus removing blame from themselves. Maybe by blaming Spain with the name (and we were recently in a war with them), there wouldn’t be any resistance from the European nations we were at war with who were also fighting the pandemic. Anyway, Charles Grassley is an idiot.

It’s not just hateful to blame the government of China for the virus. It’s also hateful to people of Chinese descent. Hell, even people descended from other Asian nations are being blamed. There have been reports of attacks and slurs cast at Asian-Americans. Even Trump-supporting white people married to Asians are confused by which Asians to blame.

CBS News reporter Weijia Jiang tweeted, “This morning a White House official referred to #Coronavirus as the ‘Kung-Flu’ to my face.” Kellyanne demanded the reporter to tell her who said it, thus demanding a reporter to reveal her sources. While Kellyanne said it was wrong to say “Kung Flu,” she defended Donald Trump’s use of “Chinese virus.”

Kellyanne pulled out her imaginary Get-Out-Of-Racism-Free card by pointing out she’s married to an Asian, as George Conway is half-Filipino. That was weird. She’s married to the guy and doesn’t seem to understand Filipino is not Chinese. That’s like saying I can’t be prejudiced against Germans because I have English ancestry. We’re white so we all look alike, right? Is that what Kellyanne was trying to say about her husband and children?

Also, like Europeans can hate other Europeans and Muslim nations hate other Muslim nations, there are Asians who hate Asians. Go to China or Korea (either one) and ask them how they feel about the Japanese. No race is monolithic. You’d think someone married to someone of a different race would understand that. But, if George hasn’t convinced Kellyanne that Donald Trump is a racist grifting conman with brain worms, he’s probably not going to be able to convince her Filipinos and Chinese aren’t the same.

China bungled their response to the pandemic. Donald Trump did too. But neither gave us the virus. Both are guilty of making it worse. It would be best for our government not to respond to a hateful propaganda campaign from a communist nation with its own hateful propaganda campaign.

Blaming China takes the heat off Trump. It puts a face on the virus. It’s catering to the hate in Donald Trump’s base, which is what Trump and Fox News does best.

The universally recognized terms are “coronavirus” and “covid19.” Calling it anything with an Asian connotation is a distraction and entirely political. Anyone doing so has an agenda, and it’s a hateful agenda. It’s not about accuracy.

Donald Trump is now referring to himself as a “wartime president.” I found it scary enough when he referred to himself just as “president.” During an actual war, President Franklin Roosevelt responded with racism when he put over 120,000 Japanese-Americans in internment camps…just because they were Japanese. If a good president like Roosevelt can do something so hateful and prejudiced, what will a bad, racist, hateful president like Donald Trump do, even if his war is pretend?

Presidents are supposed to bring people together, especially during a crisis. Being presidential is not Donald Trump’s specialty. Solving a crisis isn’t his specialty either. Hate is Donald Trump’s specialty. Division is his specialty.

The virus isn’t prejudiced, racist, or partisan. It doesn’t have yellow, black, brown, or white skin. It doesn’t care about your tax bracket. Tax cuts will not kill the pandemic. Neither will Donald Trump’s hate and racism.

Racism is a virus and a plague…just like Donald Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

MAGA Socialism


cjones03222020

Isn’t it funny that everything Republicans complain about turns around and bites them in the ass? Isn’t it funny that they don’t have any principles?

For decades, they proclaimed they were about family values and wouldn’t support any candidate who appeared unethical or messed around on his wife. Today, nope. In fact, many believe Donald Trump, who cheated on wife number 1 with wife number 2 and cheated on wife number 3 and has 5 kids with 3 different women, was sent by God. And maybe God did send Donald Trump but only because he was out of locusts. Frankly, I’d prefer the locusts. If anything locusts probably don’t cheat on their wives.

They used to talk a big game about cutting spending, but in all honesty, Republicans haven’t tried to cut spending or balance a budget since the 1950s.

Republicans always claimed they were better with foreign policy, more patriotic, and had more respect for our military. They were never any good with foreign policy. As for being more patriotic, they would rather deflect and ignore an attack on our democracy if it helps them steal shit. And the military? Today, they support a guy who feuds with Gold Star families, says POWs aren’t heroes, and resists giving money to veteran groups after holding fundraisers, conducted by his campaign, for them.

Republicans always want to reduce spending on welfare and make it as difficult as possible for poor families to receive government assistance. But since social welfare is the only welfare they complain about, it’s not really the spending they have an issue with. Spending on social welfare is about 1 percent of the federal budget. We spend double on corporate welfare and you never hear a Republican demand corporate executives pee in a cup. Hell, they never demand that corporations receiving government assistance don’t buy back their own stock or give executives six-figure salaries and million-dollar buyout options.

But maybe the one thing Republicans hate the most is socialism. It makes them so angry that they’re too upset to look up the difference between socialism and communism. Over the past few years, they claim that democratic socialism will turn us into Venezuela, ignoring that democratic socialist nations are more like Norway and Luxembourg. They argue that all Bernie Sanders wants to do is give everyone “free stuff,” ignoring the fact that they voted for an idiot who literally promised them a free wall.

Now, the Trump administration is trying to work out a plan to give corporations, small businesses, and everyday-working shmoes like me and you cash as quickly as possible. It’s like that J.G. Wentworth commercial and we need cash now, except we’re not in a bus with opera-singing Vikings because that’d be a great way to catch Covid-19 (great story though. “How’d you catch Covid-19?” “I was on a bus with opera-singing Vikings”). The plan, being designed mostly by Treasury Secretary Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, will cost around a trillion dollars. Former White House Communications Director for 8 minutes Anthony Scaramucci says to really help everyone and to keep the economy from imploding like a Trump casino (my analogy, not his), the government will need a stimulus package of 3 trillion. He’s probably right.

I think there should be some huge conditions attached to these bailouts, especially for corporations. Maybe attach agreements that they don’t use the money to purchase their own stock and that millionaire executives need to take huge pay cuts. And how about no huge severance packages? On top of all that, make sure no bailouts to toilet paper companies because they are not hurting right now.

The reason I think the Mooch is correct is that Mitt Romney’s idea is to give every American $1,000 which seems to be where Fishmouth is going. That’s a great start. We could all use an extra thousand bucks, but for most people, that won’t even cover one month’s rent.

Andrew Yang, who ran for president in the Democratic primaries, wanted to give every American $1,000…a month. Now, it appears every Republican wants to be in the Yang Gang.

What I want to ask every Republican who loves the idea of this bailout and is praising Donald Trump for it is: Isn’t this socialism? Isn’t this free stuff? Won’t this turn us into Venezuela? Are you a fucking hypocrite?

I have an idea: Let’s only give to people who didn’t vote for Trump in 2016. Let’s make sure that everyone who ever complained on social media about socialism doesn’t get a check. They won’t mind because they’ve already told us that people who like Bernie’s ideas are lazy, socialism is bad, giving away “free stuff” is stupid, and they don’t want anything to do with it. If they really need to eat and they don’t have money, they can take their guns out in the woods and hunt for their food. They’re not lazy so it shouldn’t be a problem. They can just pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Or, they can just return what the government gives them and ask that it go towards the wall they love so much and believe is already under construction.

That’s 62 million assholes we don’t have to worry about because they don’t want socialism and “free stuff.” We heard you and guess what. I’m not going to forget you said it.

What I’m looking forward to is the gaslighting they’re about to engage in. I’m excited to hear their reasoning that this isn’t socialism or “free stuff.” How will they explain it’s not welfare when they get it? This is going to be too good. If they can blame Obama for Trump’s disastrous response to the coronavirus pandemic, or that Trump was sent by God, then they can gaslight anything.

Normally, I’d tell Trump supporters they can go eat something else (shit. Bag of dicks. Etc.), but today, I’ll be helpful.

Hungry? Go eat your MAGA hats.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Jump For Trump


cjones03212020

Yesterday, Donald Trump gave another press conference on the coronavirus. This time, he tried to appear more somber and adultlike. He even said the media was doing a good job. Then, the stock market dropped nearly 3,000 points, which was the market’s worse day since Black Monday in 1987.

And there’s no wonder why the market keeps going up and down. Sunday, Donald Trump said he had the virus under control. On Monday, he admitted he didn’t. Then, he said this crisis could last until July or August. He even said we could be headed to a recession. All of this after the Federal Reserve slashed interest rates to zero, which means they can’t go any lower.

The stock market’s going to do what it’s going to do. It’s really hard for a president to control it, but when a president demonstrates he doesn’t have a clue about anything, especially during a worldwide crisis, the market is affected.

Stores are closing. Restaurants are either closed or only offering takeout. Sporting events and conventions are being canceled or rescheduled. Primaries are being postponed. People are losing money. Donald Trump is turning into Herbert Hoover…but with less ethics, intelligence, and ability.

Senator Mitt Romney has floated the idea of giving every American $1,000 which is probably the best idea a Republican has proposed since Eisenhower proposed the interstate. And this idea was stolen from a Democrat, though watered down. Former presidential candidate Andrew Yang ran on a campaign of giving every American taxpayer $1,000 a month. Right now, that sounds like a great idea and it might go farther for the nation and holding up the economy than bailouts of banks, airlines, and cruise lines. Mitt’s idea is receiving a lot of interest from members in both parties.

Even casinos are asking Congress for a bailout which doesn’t excite me. First off, this is an industry where people give it money for nothing in return. Secondly, Donald Trump’s casinos got a bailout from his daddy and he still drove them into the ground. Now, casinos are asking for help from the guy who bankrupts casinos. Why is the stock market falling under Trump’s leadership again?

Donald Trump needs to shut up. The governors of this nation, Democrats and Republicans, have taken the lead. He needs to give them what they ask for, instead of telling them to go find respirators on their own, and get out of their way. He needs to rubber-stamp whatever Congress sends him to combat this crisis and get out of the way. He needs to listen to the health experts at the CDC and the economic experts at the Fed, give them what they want, and get out of their way.

If Donald Trump gave a statement that he’s going to stop pretending to be in charge, admit he doesn’t know fuck from fuck, and from now on he’s just going to give what’s asked for and then get out of the way, the market would probably skyrocket. Even if he said, “I’ll be at Mar-a-Lago playing golf. You guys handle this,” it wouldn’t hurt Wall Street any more than his actions and statements already have.

That’s not going to happen (he’ll still play golf, of course) so at the very least, he should just shut the fuck up.

Maybe it was shits and giggles for a lot of people to have a racist toddler gameshow host with brain worms in charge for a few years, but now we need an adult in the White House. Since we don’t have one, Donald Trump needs to shut up and get out of the way.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Trumpy Takes A Test


cjones03202020

Despite hanging out with multiple Trump cultists and shitweasels who may be infected with the coronavirus, and several who definitely are, Donald Trump was reluctant about taking a test to see if maybe he had contracted the virus.

He told us he wasn’t worried about being in contact with people who had the virus because he didn’t know them and about that photo of him grinning it up with the infected Brazilian, he hasn’t even seen that photo. Maybe that was his coronavirus test.

He finally took a test after being pressured by the press. Maybe there were questions like, “have you seen the photo? No? Well, then you can’t have the virus because that’s how shit works. Here’s your lolly.”

That’s how it works in Trumplandia but not in reality, where the majority of us live.

Also, here, in reality, you’re not actually 240 pounds just because a fucknut doctor said you are. And if you’re 5 foot nine, and a doctor looking to appease your cult says you’re 6 foot three, you’re still actually 5 foot nine. Sorry.

So, when asked about taking the test, Trump tried to dodge the question before finally mumbling it was “difficult” and nobody would enjoy it, “it was unpleasant… it’s a medical test! It’s not fun!” I mean, it’s almost like he didn’t take the test.

Perhaps he thought it was like one of those tests for an STD, where they need to stick a cotton swab into your pee hole and twirl it around 5-10 times. That, I can only guess because I never dated like Trump did in the 80s, has to be unpleasant (I just looked it up on the internet to see if it’s true and OHMYGOD). So maybe Donald Trump thought the coronavirus test was similar and for some weird reason would involve his penis.

But since he likes to take credit for Obama’s accomplishments, which he’s finally fucking up, maybe he stole his test results for the coronavirus. I’m sure President Obama’s results would come back negative since he hasn’t been hanging out with right-wing fuckos at Mar-a-Lago, which by the way, is being closed down for the coronavirus.

I think now would be a great opportunity for Donald Trump to self-quarantine at Mar-a-Lago and while he’s there, maybe do something about that bedbug problem.

If Trump does take a test, I’m sure it’ll come back positive in that he is the virus. He is the pandemic. He is the plague. Four more years? Personally, I’d rather have a doctor stick a cotton swab in my pee hole.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

TP America


cjones03192020

Funny thing. When Donald Trump picked Mike Pence as his running mate, the first Trump/Pence logo involved the initials “TP.” This was probably decided by the same idiots who created the Tea Party and were totally surprised they acquired the nickname “teabaggers.” And then totally surprised to learn what a “teabagger” was (I had to explain it to an editor. In case you’re a Republican and still don’t know, it means “buddy” which is how you should greet each of your fucknut friends from now on. They’ll appreciate the greeting, “Hey, teabagger,” and probably thank you). After being mocked, ridiculed, and having someone explain why to them, the campaign changed the shitty (no pun intended) “TP” logo and removed the initials. The real irony is that Trump and Pence can’t even deliver TP to us.

When I was a teenager, my friends and I engaged in TPing. In case you weren’t a teenager, that’s when someone covers your entire yard and probably your home too in toilet paper. It’s even worse if it rains. It’s mostly a harmless prank that really annoys the homeowner because it’s a lot easier to put toilet paper in tree branches than it is to get it out. And, if they have a kid, he or she is the one who cleans it up. That’s because a home usually isn’t TP’ed unless there’s a kid in the house. Kids don’t pick random houses to TP. Sometimes, they hit the home of someone they don’t like but usually, it’s a home of someone they do like. It’s either a friend or a crush. Once, after TPing a few houses, we hit the house of one of our partners in TPing crime after he thought we were done (Our fake surprise the next morning should have won us Oscars. If he’s reading this now, he’s like, “I knew it!”). If your home ever gets TP’ed and you don’t have a kid then you just seriously pissed off some neighbors and should probably move and start over. Another explanation might be you’ve planted Trump/Pence signs in your yard, in which case there were probably eggs and burning bags of poo involved also.

Now, instead of getting in trouble for “rolling” someone’s yard, you might be thanked.

A lot of Trump supporters are still telling us the coronavirus pandemic is a hoax and conspiracy to hurt Donald Trump because everything in the world that’s bad is out to get them because old white guys are the most persecuted people in the history of dumbass history. And, a lot of people who aren’t Trump supporters agree with them that people are overreacting.

They think everyone’s freaking out by purchasing and hoarding hand sanitizer, bread, water and of course, toilet paper. And yeah, everyone is kinda freaking with all the hoarding.

Last Wednesday, I was talking to a friend about it and later went to a grocery store in my neighborhood. I texted her to say the store hadn’t been hit that hard yet and she still had time to buy some TP. Because I’m one of those people that goes to the store nearly every day for some small insignificant item, I was back on Thursday and this time, the shelves were wiped out (no pun intended). I was at a Wal-Mart Saturday night getting some junk for my apartment and saw they were wiped out there as well (but they did have $3.00 laundry hampers).

So you may remain rational and think, “Well, I’m not going to lose my mind and run to the store and buy and hoard all the toilet paper,” but then you think that because everyone else has lost their freaking minds buying toilet paper means you won’t have any if this crisis carries on too long, so you freak out, lose your mind, and run to the store to buy and hoard toilet paper. Laura, one of my proofreaders, told me this morning, while not proofreading this wordless cartoon, that a friend of hers has decided TP is the new “craptocurrency” and he calls it “shitcoin.”

When I was in the store last Wednesday and I saw it on the shelves, I didn’t buy any. I had at least five rolls at home and thought that I’ll be OK. But when I saw the shelves empty the next day, I thought, “oh shit.” Pun intended. So, I went to the 7-11 replacement convenience store near my home (that means it replaced a 7-11 which pisses you off because the new store doesn’t have nachos and taquitos, and if you’ve never had a 7-11 taquito then you’re not living right and probably have plenty of toilet paper) and found five individual rolls there for $1.50 a-piece. I bought all five rolls. Bring it, pandemic! Never mind. Please don’t bring it.

I’ve never been mugged but I was was very protective and wary of my surroundings while walking home with those five rolls of Scott. Later, I went back to the store for something else and the nice lady who owns the place told me she had more toilet paper in stock, which means she now sees me as the toilet paper guy and I’m going to have to make a more memorable purchase to erase that nickname. I’m looking forward to being the 15 boxes of Trojans and Monster energy drink guy.

Now, paper towels and napkins are flying off the shelves too. I even read that some people are stealing all the napkins at Taco Bells. If they’re using them for what I think they’re using them for, that’s some real irony.

Overreacting is a hell of a lot better than whatever the hell it was the Trump administration did to prepare for the pandemic. Again, these are the same idiots who didn’t foresee being mocked for using the “TP” initials or that they were going to be called “teabaggers.” Which, again, if you’re a Trump supporter, is a compliment. Use it on your friends. Please.

But here’s the thing, America. An overreaction is better than an underreaction. If anything, We, as in our nation’s leadership (sic) totally underestimated this virus. We were not prepared for a pandemic to begin with, but the reaction from the Trump administration made it worse. If this doesn’t become as bad as many people are speculating, critics, especially Facebook “experts” will say we overreacted as it wasn’t that bad. But maybe it’s our reaction that prevented it from being worse. Of course with Trump’s reaction, it got worse than it ever should have been.

On another note, if you do visit bars and/or restaurants during this pandemic, tip a little more than usual. We are in this together and should be looking out for each other. People who work in the service industry will be the first to feel this. Be nice. Even you Republicans. Try to be nice.

And this just in: Right before I clicked “publish” on this blog, the manager of my local Starbucks (OK, I’m here too much), sat down near me (not too close and we did the elbow greeting) to tell me all their stores in the U.S. and Canada will remain open, but their dining area will be closed. What this means is, you can still go to Starbucks and buy stuff but you can’t stay. You can’t sit around and hang out.

Be safe and look out for each other.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.