Covid19

Cashing Thank-Yous


cjones04032020

It’s important that we thank people but it’s not important that you get thanked. Do you understand this? It’s like this: It’s more important to give than it is to receive. Got it? Even my Republican readers? Probably not, but here we go.

Being thanked and appreciated is important to all of us, but it’s really important to Donald Trump. He’s like the six-year-old that only invites people to his birthday so he can rub it in their faces, forgetting that everybody has birthdays. At his party, he has to be the one to pop the pinata (metaphorically here as he wouldn’t have anything Mexican at a party). He has to have the most cake (not metaphorical).  Donald Trump craves adoration and recognition to the point that a psychiatrist would leap out a window. It’s why he hates The New York Times so much. He wants to be recognized by elites and sophisticated people as one of them, but he’s stupid as fuck all.

The other thing is, Donald Trump wants to be rewarded, thanked, and given recognition for shit he didn’t do. It’s like the economy. Trump supporters give him credit and thank him for fixing a “broken system” and a “mess” he inherited. Never mind the fact that Obama pulled us out of a recession that the last Republican president created. Never mind the fact Obama created more jobs in his last three years than Donald Trump did in his first. Never mind the facts we’re headed for a recession now, no president has ever had over 3 million people file for unemployment in one week like Donald Trump just accomplished, or that it’ll be another Democrat pulling us out of another Republican recession. Fact. Fact. Fuckity Fact. Fact.

Trust me on this. Donald Trump isn’t capable of bending over and pulling up his own socks less enough pulling us out of a recession.

And Trump’s supporters are totally gaslighted. One of the fucknuts commented on my video yesterday, literally thanking Donald Trump, for the FDA approving the use of a malaria drug to combat covid19. That is cult worship. Never mind the fact that the last time Donald Trump mentioned a drug with “chloride” in the title, one of his stupid followers died ingesting a chloride fish tank cleaner and his wife is in critical condition. That’s some Jim Jones shit there. Yeah, thank Donald Trump for that, dingus.

Now, it’s come up that Donald Trump wants his signature on the checks being disbursed as part of the $2 trillion stimulus package. What do you want to bet when the deficit is still huge after he leaves office, that Republicans refuse to acknowledge his signature signed off on that?

Here’s a fact Trump supporters and Republican shitweasels don’t know because it’s a fact: The president, even when that president is Donald Trump (sic), doesn’t allocate spending. At least, he’s not supposed to (though he’s fighting in the Supreme Court to change that).  Congress allocates spending. Nancy Pelosi has more control over what money goes where than Donald Trump. If anyone’s name should be on the check, it’s Pelosi’s or even, ugh…Mitch McConnell’s signatures.

But, Donald Trump wants his signature on the check. Why? Because it’s a great campaign tool. If you’re in the cult now, wait until you literally get a check with Donald Trump’s signature on it (but then again, they may not cash it because they’ll want to frame his signature). And just like money from the Trump Foundation that actually went to legitimate charities (when it wasn’t used to pay off legal fines, purchase Trump portraits of himself, or bribe ditzy blonde Florida Republicans), it’s a check bearing Trump’s signature that isn’t from his own money.

We are getting a check from our own money with his signature on it. And we’re supposed to thank him?

Donald Trump is using taxpayer money, increasing our debt, as a campaign tool. Will it happen? Yes. He’s already done it with the Center for Disease Control guidelines that went out last week. His name is on the envelope and presents it as “President (sic) Trump’s Coronavirus Guidelines For America.” Never mind the fact that “President” (sic) Trump isn’t following those guidelines for himself.

How does one even have the gall and lack of shame to broach the subject of putting his signature on the check? Does it start with, “So…what signature will be on those checks?” I doubt it. I’m sure it’s something else Donald Trump demanded, like at every meal when he has two scoops of ice cream and everyone else has one.

What’s more disgusting about this than our money going to help promote his orange stupid ass, and more disgusting than his cult will thank him for sending them a check, and even more disgusting that these are the same fucks who scream about Bernie promising “free stuff” turning us into a socialist nation like Venezuela, is the fact that Donald Trump is the last person who should be thanked for anything accomplished against the coronavirus. That’s like thanking Herbert Hoover for pulling us out of the Great Recession (why not? He was a Republican).

This is a man who failed to prepare for it and instead, denied and downplayed it. He even called it a conspiracy and hoax being used against him by his enemies. Now, he says he always knew it was a pandemic (go watch my video).

Donald Trump wants a thank you…for a job he didn’t do. In fact, he wants to be thanked for failing. But thanking Donald Trump for his response to the coronavirus…

…That’s a check Donald Trump’s ass can’t cash.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Trump Pandemic


It’s not an animation, one of my videos to “watch me draw,” or a print cartoon. It’s something else. Catch the premiere today at 2:00 PM EDT.

Update: I canceled the premiere and it’s live now. Enjoy.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Pandemic Priorities


cjones04022020

Did you hear the great news yesterday about the coronavirus? No, we haven’t reached the peak yet. No, the numbers of cases and deaths aren’t going down. No, we’re not going to be open and hugging each other by Easter. The great news is….drum roll please…

…Donald Trump’s stupid press conferences are getting great TV ratings. They’re terrific, outstanding, “astounding!” They’re yuge! They’re so big, Snickers wants to start sponsoring them (I made that up. Don’t call and scream at Snickers).

The New York Times published an article on whether or not networks should run Trump’s daily press conferences because of the high risk of him spreading false information, lies and in general, Trump bullshit. People dying because of Trump’s lies? Donald Trump is the new honey badger and he don’t care.

Donald Trump, shockingly (insert eye roll here), totally missed the point of the article and only noticed the details about his ratings. He tweeted about the ratings…five times. Five. Fucking. Times.

He referred to them as “astounding,” and compared his numbers to Monday Night Football and The Bachelor finale. First off, let’s point out one detail we’re all painfully aware of: Everybody is the nation is home running out of things to do. It got so bad, that last night, I nearly watched The Talking Dead, which is the same format networks use after Trump’s conferences.

The Talking Dead comes on after The Walking Dead and they spend an hour talking about the show you just watched. Yes, it’s as ridiculous as it sounds but at least they don’t have to fact check it. The networks, except for Fox News, have to fact-check everything Donald Trumps says. Also, there are more deaths after a Trump press conference than after The Walking Dead.

These press conferences are important because they do present real and accurate information. Rarely while Donald Trump is talking but it’s in there. The problem is, everything you need to know from these daily briefings can be presented in about four minutes. Unfortunately, since he can’t hit the road and conduct hate rallies in front of thousands of racists with misspelled T-Shirts about grabbing women by their pussies, Trump gets it all out in the White House press room. Donald Trump will spend about an hour, or more, taking a crap with his mouth.

Donald Trump will say things at these press conferences that have to be fact-checked, not just by the news, but by his own people. Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx, when they’re there, are risking catching the coronavirus by standing close to Donald Trump and sharing a microphone with him in order to clarify his bullshit. The shit Donald Trump has said isn’t just a little reckless, it’s killed people. Right now, the networks need to shut him down before he kills again.

It’s important that we get these briefings. It’s not important to hear Donald Trump talk about his greatness for an hour. I suggest the networks continue with their regular programming until they start taking questions.

Why? Because when Donald Trump takes questions, he reveals what a true idiot he is. He reveals his racism and pathetic ugliness. Yesterday, he had a microphone stripped away from a reporter for asking the wrong question. The networks should also cover when the specialists speak, just not the boy who needs special attention. After the briefings, we can get all the highlights. It’s not important that we watch Donald Trump’s diarrhea of the mouth in real-time.

Dr. Fauci told CNN yesterday that the coronavirus could kill between 100,000 and 200,000 Americans and infect millions of people. Also yesterday, more refrigerated trucks arrived in New York City to handle the expected overflow of bodies once the mortuaries are filled. Donald Trump didn’t tweet about that. He tweeted about his TV ratings.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Cuomo Vs. Trump


CNN03292020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has been criticized throughout his political career for being blunt and too direct. During a pandemic, that’s an asset.

Cuomo’s daily press conferences are carried live by CNN. You don’t have to be a citizen of New York to find his briefings helpful and informative. What he’s laying out is important to everyone in the nation. Andrew Cuomo is the right man for the job at this time. Then there’s Donald Trump who is the wrong man at the wrong time.

Donald Trump has always been the wrong man. He shouldn’t be president and he’s only in the White House because all the stars aligned in all the wrong places at all the wrong moments. It’s sucked to watch him disparage the office with his actions and behavior. It’s been painful watching him make lifetime appointments to courts with fucknuts, racists, troglodytes, and rapists. It’s been embarrassing watching a president tweet at Saturday Night Live, Meryl Streep, and Gold Star families over petty issues. It’s disgraceful to watch him attack allies while praising dictators. It’s been humiliating for a nation to watch a president open his mouth and confirm his stupidity, ignorance, sexism, and rank racism to the entire world. Now, his fawning over himself and protecting his petty ego is killing people.

While the nation needs to watch Andrew Cuomo’s daily press conferences, it should ignore Donald Trump’s. At one of these conferences, Trump yelled at a reporter for asking if he had a message to Americans who are afraid. At another, he heckled a reporter for Bloomberg News over Michael Bloomberg’s failed presidential campaign. He asked how Bloomberg was doing. I think it would have been worth that journalist losing his White House credentials by replying, “He’s still richer than you.” It doesn’t bother Trump that people are dying, but it bothers him that Bloomberg, or anyone else, is richer than he is.

Donald Trump has lied, downplayed, and been in denial over the pandemic. Today, he boasted about the ratings of his press conferences. He shouldn’t be looking at his ratings numbers. He should be looking at the number of deaths.

Soon, the United States will have more deaths from this “Chinese” virus than China. In case you’re a Republican, you already know the coronavirus originated in China because Donald Trump has called it the “Chinese virus.” Being racist yourself, you’ve joined in and have also called it the “Wuhan Virus” and “Kung Flu.” What you probably didn’t know is that China has more people than the United States. We shouldn’t have more deaths from this virus than China.

Andrew Cuomo has taken responsibility. Donald Trump has stated he refuses to take any responsibility. Donald Trump wants everyone to thank him for his job performance with the coronavirus.  For every single death in the United States, Donald Trump is responsible. We can thank him for that.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Giddy Up Socialism


cjones04012020

When I did a cartoon last week on Republicans and MAGAts now loving socialism, I asked the question, “How will they defend it?”

There are a lot of Republicans, libertarians, and Trump supporters who are mouthing that they’re not happy with the $2 trillion stimulus to float the economy through the coronavirus pandemic. I’m sure there are others who are unhappy with Donald Trump, after great pressure from the nation’s governors, activating the Defense Production Act and forcing General Motors to make ventilators, which I’m sure will be arriving in hospitals by December (Right now, GM is asking: How do we make ventilators? Also, What’s a ventilator?)

I commend those conservatives for at least sounding consistent because when I say they’re “mouthing” their disapproval with the stimulus, I mean that’s all they’re going to do. Because guess what they’re going to do when they get those checks?

If the checks go straight into their banks through direct deposit, they’ll probably argue that it’s a hassle to return it. If checks arrive in the mail, they’ll cash them. What will they purchase? Probably guns and beer.

I quickly discovered the answer to the question I asked last week. How will conservatives defend Republican socialism? I’ve heard them argue that it’s not socialism when it helps people who work for a living. I’ve heard it’s not socialism because it’s helping “real Americans” and “Patriots.” I’ve heard it can’t be socialism if Donald Trump supports it. And I’ve heard, it’s not socialism because we’re in a national emergency. It’s a crisis.

But the socialism Bernie Sanders proposes, democratic socialism, is designed to help people in emergencies. It’s an emergency when you don’t have healthcare. It’s an emergency if you can’t pay your rent because your wage is too low. It’s an emergency that corporations are given huge tax breaks and don’t use it to invest in the economy. It’s an emergency when you can’t feed your kids. It’s an emergency when you can’t afford heat. It’s an emergency when you’re forced to pay ridiculous interest rates to get an education.

Donald Trump has said more than once that “America will never be a socialist country.” MAGAts love to compare Bernie’s socialism to Venezuela. Now, they’re watching Donald Trump nationalize an American corporation. Now, they’re all going to be cashing checks. from the government for work they didn’t do. America has always been a socialist country. They always argue against “free stuff,” but they’re the same fuckers who voted for a guy who promised a free wall.

How will Donald Trump run for reelection without complaining about socialism? Donald Trump is socialism.

I know the answer. They’ll say it’s not socialism when it helps white people.

Giddy up.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Bid For Your Life


cjones03312020

Maybe Donald Trump should wait until every state has the ventilators they need before he starts prognosticating on what date (selected because it’s “beautiful”) we can all return to normal lives. Only “normal” in the sense we could go outside, work, school, and get within six feet of other human beings. Not “normal” in the sense that Donald Trump is president.

As part of their deflecting of responsibility, Trump supporters blame Obama for not stockpiling medical masks during his presidency. Never mind the absolute unfortunate fact that Donald Trump has been president (sic) for the past three years and didn’t do anything about stockpiling medical masks in that time. He spent more time tweeting at Meryl Streep than preparing for a pandemic. Never mind the fact that his administration was warned by the Obama administration that a pandemic would probably hit the nation. But then again, Obama also told him not to hire Michael Flynn.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has shown more leadership ability than Donald Trump in dealing with this crisis. He’s given a press conference every day without making it a mini-campaign rally. He’s been blunt, factual, and realistic. He understands the problem because over half of all coronavirus cases in this nation are in the state of New York. In contrast, Donald Trump has downplayed and lied about the pandemic. Even after a new poll revealed a 60% approval of his handling of the pandemic, he’s continued to lie. And, he’s lying about New York and Andrew Cuomo.

New York needs 30,000 ventilators. They have 7,000. The federal government has only sent 400. In case you’re a Republican, 400 and even 7,000 are less than 30,000. And Donald Trump has claimed that Cuomo rejected a 2015 recommendation to purchase 15,000 ventilators and instead “established death panels” and “lotteries.” It should be needless to say, but Donald Trump’s claims are lies.

The states are begging Donald Trump to activate the Defense Production Act, which he has refused to do as he’s afraid it’ll step on the toes of big business and make him a socialist. We give huge tax breaks and bailouts to corporations, not demands that they support their country.

The Defense Production Act of 1950, enacted during the Korean War, allows the federal government to compel companies through loans and purchase commitments to develop specific equipment for national defense. Donald Trump says, “We don’t need it.”

Since we “don’t need it,” states, hospitals, and even FEMA are bidding against each other for medical supplies like ventilators, N95 masks, medicals gowns, and other supplies. Cuomo explained it best. He said, “because you have manufacturers who sit there and California offers them $4, and they say well California offered $4, I offer $5 and another state calls in and offers $6. It’s not the way to do it.”

As Cuomo pointed out, because he’s the adult in the room, “The Defense Production Act just says you can tell a company to manufacture this many by this date. Yes, it is an assertion of government power on private sector companies, yes. But so what. This is a national emergency.”

Hospitals are reusing masks. Masks that have expired are being used. Now, New York City plans to make patients share ventilators. Most medical professionals discourage sharing ventilators but acknowledge in a crisis like this, where the federal government is refusing to step up, it has to be done.

Instead of being presidential, Trump would rather attack governors who point out he’s not doing his job. He said that governors have to be “nice” to him to get what they need. So if you have the coronavirus, you might die if your governor doesn’t kiss Donald Trump’s ass.

Washington Governor Jay Inslee told Donald Trump that the nation needs a Tom Brady, as in a quarterback to win the game. Donald Trump, being unable to grasp even small concepts, took it as a compliment and thought he was being compared to Tom Brady and pointed out that he knew Tom and Tom knows him and he talked to Tom the other day and he’s the most special boy in the room so he gets the most cake and two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only gets one, etc, etc. He also pointed out that Inslee was a “failed” presidential candidate which I’m sure we can all agree is really important to focus on at this time.

Trump also attacked the governor of Michigan Gretchen Whitmer (whose name he forgot). He told Sean Hannity, “We’ve had a big problem with the young, a woman governor, you know who I’m talking about from Michigan. We don’t like to see the complaints.”

How dare that “woman governor” complain because Donald Trump doesn’t like to see complaints. He said, “all she does is sit there and blame the federal government.” Doesn’t she know he’s a man?

Whitmer tweeted at Trump, “Hi, my name is Gretchen Whitmer, and that governor is me.
I’ve asked repeatedly and respectfully for help. We need it. No more political attacks, just PPEs, ventilators, N95 masks, test kits. You said you stand with Michigan — prove it.” Donald Trump still hasn’t proven it. He’s still jacked up over that Tom Brady comparison.

Hey, if you want to talk about great quarterbacks, Drew Brees just donated $5 million to help Louisiana.

Donald Trump needs to enact the Defense Production Act so states, hospitals, and FEMA don’t have to bid against each other. Andrew Cuomo said, “It’s not the way to do it.” Acting like a sexist and racist toddler while engaging in petty feuds and demanding to have your ass kissed before you’ll do your job isn’t the way to be president.

Donald Trump’s way of being president and handling a crisis is not the way to do it. At the end of this, I hope his administration runs out of oxygen and needs a ventilator. Hopefully, he won’t be able to find one because they’ll all be in New York.

Let me put this in a way Donald Trump can understand: When it comes to quarterbacking this nation and being president and handling a crisis, you’re Ryan Leaf.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Goodbye Granny


cjones03302020

In case you haven’t noticed by now, Republicans are in a contest with each other to see who can be the vilest, most despicable, horrid person in their party. Keep in mind, this is the party that lied and said President Obama was creating death panels as part of Obamacare. The story here, whose biggest advocate was Sarah Palin, was that there would be panels deciding which old people to kill off.

The irony is that the GOP can stomach a lot of death. They value semi-automatic weapons over the lives of children. Kim Jong Un kills an American college student and the best Donald Trump can say is that the communist dictator “feels bad about it.” They don’t care about immigrant children dying in the desert or in the custody of Border Patrol. They don’t care if people in this nation die because they can’t afford medical treatment and are uninsured. Now, the Lieutenant Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick (not the ESPN guy), has advocated that old people should be willing to die in order to get the economy going.

Patrick is a Texan and a proud member of the party of “if you’re not rich, fuck you.” Now, the position is becoming “fuck off and die.”

Donald Trump wants everyone filling churches by Easter Sunday, which is April 12. He said “we can’t let the cure be worse than the problem.” Patrick is taking that to heart and has gone on television to endorse old people risking their lives for the economy. Patrick, who is 70, said to Tucker Carlson, “No one reached out to me and said, ‘as a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?’ And if that’s the exchange, I’m all in.”

He carried on with his nonsense and said, “And that doesn’t make me noble or brave or anything like that. I just think there are lots of grandparents out there in this country like me… that what we care about and what we love more than anything are those children.”

Republicans are not taking this seriously. Texas is a state without a stay-at-home order from the governor. There are other states too that aren’t taking the pandemic seriously, such as Mississippi, where the governor’s answer to the virus is that they’ll pray really hard.

As the pandemic was rising across the globe, Donald Trump thought denial and lies were the cure. He called it a hoax and yesterday, he still claimed the media was using it to defeat him. He uses it himself politically in calling it the “Chinese virus.” And, he still thinks it’s the flu.

It gets worse.

In Pennsylvania, Republican state Representative Stephanie Borowicz introduced legislation (I swear I’m not making this up) calling for “A State Day of Humiliation, Fasting, and Prayer” in response to the coronavirus crisis. The legislation states, “We know that, by His divine law, nations like individuals are subjected to punishments and chastisement in this world” and the current pandemic may be “punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins.” It claims Pennsylvanians “have forgotten God” and thus need to “confess our national sins and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.” Why do I hear that in my head with a heavy southern accent? If anything, some Pennsylvanians have sinned by electing stupid fuckers to represent them.

Louisiana, which is becoming the next epicenter for the virus, has Senator John Kennedy, who downplayed the pandemic by claiming “poverty, hunger, and losing the entire economy” could also kill people. Likewise, Trump says suicides over the economy will outnumber deaths from the virus.

TV preacher Jim Bakker is hawking a fake coronavirus cure which I’m sure involves sending him money. Texas-based Evangelical preacher Kenneth Copeland claims he can cure the virus if you watch him preach on TV, which also probably involves money.

A Miami megachurch preacher, Guillermo Maldonado, has told his followers to pack his church and that fear of the virus is a “demonic spirit.” He asked the few people at his megachurch last Sunday, “Do you believe God would bring his people to his house to be contagious with the virus? Of course not.” So, if you’re afraid enough of the virus to stay home and not attend his sermon, you’re going to Hell.

Baton Rouge pastor Tony Spell is refusing to comply with a state order banning gatherings of over 50 people and said, “The virus, we believe, is politically motivated.” He passed out anointed handkerchiefs which are probably a lot easier to get now than Purell.

A pastor in Indiana, Paul Begley, believes the virus is a sign of the “end times.” A pastor in Pennsylvania (who probably voted for that nutjob state rep) says the virus is “demonic” and if you have it, then you are “healed in Jesus’ name.”

These politicians and preachers are willing to risk your life for their benefit. In the preachers’ case, it’s more revenue. In Trump and other GOP politicians, it’s their political hide. Donald Trump knows a recession hurts his chances of being reelected. What’s he going to say after people go over 30 days without a paycheck? Is he going to blame Obama, China, and the media? Probably. And the deeper we’re in a recession the harder it will be for a dumbass like Donald Trump to pull us out, and the majority of the nation knows that.

The most vulnerable to dying from the coronavirus are the elderly. The real irony in their willingness to sacrifice seniors for cheeseburgers, sermons, baseball games, and Trump rallies is that seniors, specifically the white ones, vote for Donald Trump (I’m not beating up on you if you’re a senior and you don’t vote for Trump. I’m a 53-year-old white male and my demographic is strongly pro-Trump. I’m the minority). But other than killing off their base, they’re putting themselves in extreme danger.

Donald Trump is 73. He can say he feels like a 30-year-old all day long but he’s still 73. He wants to relax the federal recommendations on social distancing and he doesn’t care if it kills people as long as it helps him. And people in his cult, like Dan Patrick (not the ESPN guy), they don’t care either.

The Republican Party doesn’t care if you die as long as it helps the economy. If you’re old, maybe you can help them even further by booking a cruise before you die.

But if you wanna stick around a bit longer, take some advice from your friendly neighborhood ink-slinging cartoonist: Don’t get into a car with a Republican. You may not come back.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.