Covid19

Blue State, Red State, Trump State, Dead State


cjones09202020

This morning, a friend of mine, Rob Southall, posted, “If you take away the blue states, nobody died on 9/11.” And you know if Donald Trump replaced FDR, we wouldn’t have reacted to Japan bombing Pearl Harbor since it was in a blue state.

One of my Trump-supporting Facebook “friends” posted a long, boring, ridiculous diatribe written by someone else who wasn’t credited, but it argued how Donald Trump wasn’t divisive. Yes, I wrote that correctly. It argued it wasn’t Donald Trump who is divisive. These are the same people who supported the birther theory, called President Obama a terrorist, a monkey, questioned his religion, and called his wife a man. But on the same day my Trump-cultist “friend” posted that, Donald Trump made comments that indicated to him, blue states don’t count.

Donald Trump said, “Blue states had tremendous death rates. If you take the blue states out, we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at.”

Late night host Seth Myers said, “I’m sure Trump’s not our first sociopath president, but he’s definitely the first one who’s open about it.”

And as usual, Donald Trump is wrong. If all our red states, states that voted for Donald Trump, and formed a nation, that red state nation would be in the top ten internationally of deaths from the coronavirus in developed nations…excuse me…the TRUMP virus. Of course, you have to believe Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, and West Virginia are developed.

There are more deaths in blue states than red. One reason for that is…more people live there. Case in point, the states that voted blue outnumbered the people in red states.

We are still one nation even though Donald Trump fails to act that way as president. Donald Trump implied that deaths in blue states don’t matter as much to him, since they didn’t vote for him. He’s been trying to claim success for his horrible handling and lying over the Trump virus while also blaming governors of blue states for his failures. He even blamed Joe Biden, who doesn’t hold any position in the government, for not enacting a mask mandate. Seriously. He also blamed President Obama for not developing a vaccine for the Trump virus even though it didn’t exist during his two terms.

There have also been claims that Jared Kushner, Donald Trump’s idiot son-in-law who is an adviser, planned to use deaths in blue states politically, to help Trump’s reelection. He thought it would be smart politics to let Americans die. Whether that’s true or not, a lot of Americans died on Donald Trump’s watch. And when people died from this virus, whether they were in a blue state or a red state, they died under Donald Trump’s watch.

There was even a plan to mail five face masks to every American family but someone blocked that. Someone in the White House wanted Americans to die.

Donald Trump’s comments perfectly illustrates why I will never call him “President” Trump. It’s because he doesn’t want to be my president. He only wants to be president of his base. A president is supposed to be president of the entire nation and not just those Yee-Haw motherfuckers that voted for him. As it is now, Donald Trump’s entire reelection campaign is focused on the electoral college and not the popular vote. Donald Trump is only appealing to that Yee-Haw base and plans to win without the popular vote…again.

And in case you’re keeping track, the Republican Party has only won the popular vote for president ONCE since 1988. In case you’re a Republican, that was over 30 years ago.

Former White House aides have been coming out over the past few weeks saying Donald Trump only cares about his reelection. He doesn’t care about the Trump virus. He doesn’t care if you die, especially if you live in a blue state. There will be more former aides coming out in the coming weeks.

Seth Myers also said Orange Mussolini’s blue states comment was the most honest articulation of Trump’s beliefs. “If you can’t empower or enrich him personally, then he doesn’t care about you,” which makes the point the former White House aides are making.

Seth also said, “As someone who lives in one of those states and knows people affected by this virus, I would just like to say, go fuck yourself you rotting, soulless business ham.”

Yeah. What Seth said.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Demon Pillows


cjones08212020

We have to stop treating these people like they’re normal.

Donald Trump is not a normal person. Donald Trump is a conspiracy theorist totally devoid of ethics and a fraud. And if someone else happens to come along pushing bogus conspiracy theories and talking fruit loops out of their ass, Donald Trump will support their message as long as there’s praise for him in it.

Take Dr. Demon Sperm. That crazy lady in Houston claimed she had treated and cured over 300 people with Hydroxychloroquine. Never mind we still haven’t seen any evidence of that. Perhaps we were distracted by her claims of deep state lizard people, Alien DNA being used to cure people, and sex dreams with demons causing havoc in vaginas. But, because she promoted Hydroxychloroquine, Donald Trump said she’s “very impressive.”

Thankfully, there are still journalists who will call out bullshit. Journalists like CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who may have had too much fun with Mike Lindell yesterday.

You can argue that by giving someone like Mike Lindell a platform on CNN legitimizes the guy. But Donald Trump has already brought the dude up at one of his fake coronavirus briefings, so bring him on…and use the platform to expose him for the fraud he is. After what we saw yesterday, he’s less credible than the Doctor Demon Sperm. Hey, at least she had the good sense not to allow Anderson Cooper to expose her.

You know who Mike Lindell is. He’s the MyPillow guy selling shit pillows on Fox News. His pillows are totally propping up Tucker Carlson’s shows as other advertisers flee over his racism. MyPillow doesn’t have a problem with racists. In fact, I hear 4 out of 5 tiki-torch Nazis prefer MyPillow over non-Nazi pillows. OK. I made that up but as Mark Meadows would argue, there’s no evidence that it’s not true. No word yet on the pillow preference of sex demons.

Now, the MyPillow guy is touting a cure for the coronavirus. Wow! A cure you say? Lindell is pushing oleandrin as a potential therapeutic for COVID-19. oleandrin actually comes from a plant that is toxic. What is the MyPillow guy’s medical expertise? He has none. What’s his experience with drugs? He did a lot of cocaine. What’s his connection to this new miracle drug? He’s on the board of the company selling it which gives him a financial stake. But you know, Lindell says Jesus sent him.

Fortunately, Anderson Cooper destroyed Lindell yesterday for the entire world to see.

Lindell does not like the media and he’s referred to it in the past, usually while appearing on Fox News, as evil. But for some reason, he took his chances with Anderson Cooper.

Anderson Cooper pointed out Lindell had no medical expertise, was going to financially benefit, and that he had been exposed as a fraud in the past. Lindell used to run commercials claiming MyPillow cured various diseases. He later settled a lawsuit with several counties in California over the bogus claim. His business has an F rating from the Better Business Bureau for offering a buy-one-get-one-free campaign where if you paid double for one pillow, then you got a second.

Yesterday, Mike Lindell said he wouldn’t stake his great reputation on this cure if it didn’t work. Anderson Cooper pointed out that Lindell doesn’t have a great reputation. That’s about where I lost it and laughed for about two hours straight. The look on Lindell’s face was priceless. Perhaps what’s also hurting his reputation is using these appearances to also claim Donald Trump is the greatest president ever.

Lindell also pointed out that Ben Carson was behind this new cure. Oy! In the past, Ben Carson promoted a drug for a company that was paying him to give speeches, donating to his scholarship fund, and underwrote a TV special for him. But hey, let’s trust HUD Secretary Ben Carson, who doesn’t know the difference between REO and Oreo cookies.

Mike Lindell argued this drug has passed several tests yet wouldn’t provide proof or details. As someone else who I forget pointed out recently, legitimate medical studies are usually published in medical journals, not YouTube, and they’re definitely not reserved to be promoted by the MyPillow guy.

The MyPillow guy claimed the Food and Drug Administration has had the results of the tests since April, but there’s been no acknowledgement of that.

Last March, at one of Trump’s bogus coronavirus briefings, he brought Lindell out who promised his company would use its resources to produce 50,000 face masks a day for hospitals. I did a little research to see how that went and all I can find is that they definitely made face masks. In fact, at his MyPillow website, you can purchase 10 of them for $20.00. And in a great deal, you can purchase 20 for $40. I don’t know why he didn’t promote 10 for $40 and you get 10 more for free.

Yesterday, Lindell said, “I do what Jesus has me do.” Beware of people who say they’re doing God’s work while making a profit. It’s like a president donating his salary while forcing the government to pay for shitty hotel rooms and golf cart rentals at his resort. Or you know, using the presidency to force events like the G7 Summit and the British Open to be held at his shitty resorts. Do they use MyPillows in prisons?

Lindell claims he gave this new miracle cure to friends and family members and again, without proof.

Anderson summed it up best and to Lindell’s face when he said, “You really are like a snake oil salesman.” This entire administration and their friends are snake oil salesmen. Usually, they come with lines like, “Make America great again.”

I wouldn’t trust Lindell with any of his products. I wouldn’t put my head on his crappy pillows. I wouldn’t put one of his face masks on my face. And I definitely wouldn’t trust him with medication from a poisonous plant.

Mike Lindell is insane and a total fraud. He’s a conman and a grifter just like the man he’s a sycophant for. And in addition to selling snake oil, he’s selling bullshit.

And if you’re ever unsure if someone is legit or a total fraud, look for the signs. The first sign is they’re a Trump supporter.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Unconstitutional Slop


cjones08142020

“We don’t want to continue to watch people signing executive orders because that was not what the Constitution and the brilliant designers of this incredible document had in mind. We need people that can make deals.”

That’s a direct quote from Donald Trump in March 2016. In fact, all Republicans were critical of President Barack Obama’s use of executive orders. They accused him of being an imperial president.

Fun fact: Donald Trump was also critical of President Obama’s handling of the Swine Flu, Ebola Virus, and how often he played golf. Donald Trump said President Obama should resign over his handling of Ebola, which killed zero Americans who contracted it while in the U.S. It’s estimated the Swine Flu killed over 12,000 Americans. In case you’re a Republican, the Trump Virus has killed over 163,000 Americans and Donald Trump still hasn’t resigned.

But being hypocrites is nothing new for Donald Trump or the Republican Party.

Unable to reach a deal with Democrats to help Americans get through the pandemic after their $600 a week unemployment benefits have run out and to save them from evictions, Donald Trump signed an executive order…but wait.

Didn’t Donald Trump tell us he’s a great negotiator? Didn’t he say nobody can negotiate better than him? Didn’t he say negotiating with Congress and other nations was easy? Didn’t he say something about being such a great negotiator that we’ll get tired of winning? So, why was he unable to reach a deal with Democrats? Why did he give up? But wait again.

Donald Trump, this great negotiator, never negotiated. Sure, he sent underlings to negotiate with Nancy Pelosi, but didn’t we elect him for his negotiating skills? We didn’t elect him to delegate that responsibility to Pete Navarro, Larry Kudlow, Mark Meadows, Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, Stephen Goosesteppin’ Miller, or even dumbass Jared. We (as in other people, I didn’t elect him), elected Trump for his great negotiating skills? So, why wasn’t he negotiating before deciding to be an “imperial” president?

The thing is, he’s not a great negotiator and he’s scared of Nancy Pelosi. Remember when Donald Trump shut down the government over wall funding? Pelosi gave him some funding for his racist and useless wall, but he wanted more. After a month of the government being shut down, Donald Trump negotiated himself into getting nothing. Donald Trump, this great negotiator, negotiated himself from getting something into getting nothing. Pelosi ate his lunch and she was going to do it again. Donald Trump is signing executive orders because he’s afraid of Nancy. He should be.

One of Donald Trump’s executive orders says unemployed Americans will now receive $400 a week. You can also look at this as a reduction because it is. In case you’re a Republican, 4 is less than 6. Also, $100 of that is supposed to come from states. In case you’re a Republican, the president can’t tell states how to spend their budgets. Also, presidents don’t control spending. Congress allocates spending. It’s in the Constitution.

I love that Republicans call themselves Constitutionalists except when it actually comes to the Constitution.

Also, Donald Trump has cut the payroll tax except, he didn’t. It’s like when he banned flights from China when he didn’t.

In case you’re a Republican, I’m going to explain how this works. 7% of your paycheck goes to Social Security and Medicare. Your employer matches it. In case you’re a Republican, 7 plus 7 equals 14. What Trump did with this was not a cut but a deferral. What does that mean, Republicans? That means you don’t have to pay that tax now but you will later. In fact, you’ll probably have to pay all the weeks missed at once. When that hits you, remember Donald Trump did it.

The idea here is, stupid Americans will notice a larger paycheck between now and November, say, “Golly gee willikins, Mr. Trump gave me more money. I’m going to vote for him because I’m a dumbass.” And then after November, wham! The bill hits. Then, those stupid Trump voters will say, “Damn you, Nancy!” Or, if Joe Biden is president, those fuckers will blame him. Seriously, that’s going to happen. Watch.

Fortunately, some employers will continue to withhold that money so when the bill does come in, you won’t be hit or even have to worry about it.

But I am looking forward to Donald Trump running on the message that he’s going to destroy Social Security and Medicare. He’s already running a campaign promising to strip Americans of healthcare coverage.

Not all Republicans were hypocrites about Trump’s executive orders. Ben Sasse of Nebraska called it “executive slop.” In case you’re a Republican, Ben Sasse is a Republican.

Donald Trump thinks this is the kind of stuff that makes him a great president. Why, he even called the Governor of South Dakota to inquire how to get his head on Mount Rushmore, not realizing the monument is a federal thing and governors can’t do anything with them. Frankly, I’m surprised he called the right state, and right now, Ron DeSantis isn’t trying to figure out how to put Trump on Rushmore.

There should be a monument for Donald Trump. A monument for really bad presidents. We’re talking about the worst here and not just the semi lazy. A monument for presidents who didn’t know what to do, were clueless, shouldn’t have been in the office, and even those who refused to do the job they were installed by a Russian dictator to do (actually, he’s doing those jobs).

I can see Trump’s head next to Filmore, Harding, Hoover, Buchanan, Nixon, and George W. Bush. To make it more realistic, we can make Trump’s head bigger than the rest.

We can call it Mount Suckmore.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Bikers For Trump Virus


cjones08132020

The annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally kicked off this week in South Dakota and there are fears the event will be a “superspreader” event for the Trump Virus.

Sturgis is a small town with a population of around 7,000. The biker rally has brought between 500,000 to 700,000 people to Sturgis in the past though this year, it’s estimated to be much smaller at around 250,000.

Even though Donald Trump’s Tulsa hate rally was a disappointment of 6,000 attendees when they were expecting 100,000, that’s still too high of a crowd to be mingling in during a pandemic. Ask Herman Cain. The 250,000 currently in Sturgis is even worse as masks and social distancing are not required. In case you’re a Republican, 250 is greater than 6.

Apparently, most bikers are conservative in their politics. I think it’s safe to assume any attending Sturgis this week are pro-Trump. They’re not wearing masks or practicing social distancing and they’re at a huge rally during a pandemic. Do they believe the virus is overblown and not as dangerous as scientists claim? According to the founder of Bikers For Trump, yes.

Chris Cox, the founder of the organization for stupid people who ride motorcycles, referred to the pandemic as a “plan-demic” organized by the “left” to sink the economy and hurt Donald Trump.

Talking to Boris Sanchez on CNN Saturday night, Cox said, “A lot of predictions have been made. There were predictions that over 5% of the people that caught this would actually die when actually it’s less than 1%. We’ve have to mitigate these predictions and put them in perspective, and a lot of us believe this might be a ‘plan-demic’ as opposed to a pandemic and I for one am one of them.”

He went on to say the virus is “being blown out of proportion” and “polarized by the left because of the simple fact they would like mail-in ballots and that might be the only chance they have of beating our president (sic) if they have an opportunity to maybe cheat a little bit.”

There’s the first stupid right-wing talking point: Mail-in ballots being used to “cheat a little bit.” The fact is, there is no evidence of widespread voter fraud with mail-in ballots and this nation has been doing it since the Civil War. The other horrifying fact for Republicans it that the higher the turnout, the worse Republicans do.

Stupid Bikers For Trump guy also said, “I think this is planned by the left to sink this amazing economy that our president has built greater than anyone else and that these numbers are being just exaggerated across the board.”

There’s the second stupid right-wing talking point: Trump built this “amazing” economy. First off, the economy we have right now, it is amazing and Donald Trump did build it…or more to the point, he destroyed it. It’s amazing how horrible it’s doing. But the economy Mr. Cox is probably talking about is the one before the pandemic that Donald Trump inherited from President Barack Obama.

He also pushed a third right-wing talking point, that a lot of people were dying from other causes yet doctors and coroners were falsifying their death certificates to claim they died from the Trump Virus.

Here’s my favorite part from the Biker For Trump dude: When asked about a specific “nefarious organization” planning the virus, instead of saying something realistic, like “no,” Cox said, “I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I need to see hard evidence before I am able to ascertain an answer for that.” Then, after stating he’s not a conspiracy theorist, he claimed he knew a doctor in South Carolina who sent in a clear swab “and it came back he was positive.” He also claimed he knew people who got tired of waiting in line for a test so they left, and later it was reported they tested positive.

This non-conspiracy theorist was pressed by Sanchez to supply the doctor’s name and contact information, and for further details about people who didn’t test but were later told they were positive after the interview. Sanchez even offered for him to take that information to another news organization like Fox News. I’m going to let you guess how that turned out. I’ll give you a hint: It didn’t.

Another fun lie from Cox: He claimed there are more women in leadership positions in this administration than ever before.

Once again, we can’t get anyone on television promoting Trump without lying. This Cox guy lied his biker balls off. Once again, you can’t find anyone supporting Donald Trump isn’t batshit crazy or stupid.

I don’t think Sanchez anticipated getting a conspiracy theorist on his show. Cox is the leader of a pro-Trump organization and a former Congressional candidate. But Sanchez did an excellent job of shooting down the bullshit. You can argue these loons shouldn’t be given airtime for their lies, but you can also argue that since Fox News and OANN are giving it to them, then the other networks should invite them on to debunk their lies and conspiracy theories.

But in case Chris Cox, the founder for Bikers For Trump is reading this: Mr. Cox, you are a conspiracy theorist and you are relying on lies to support your confirmation bias. What you are doing is dangerous. I hope I never see you spreading your bullshit on TV ever again. Peddle your stupid ass home and shut up.

Bikers like to say they take risks every time they ride. Riding a motorcycle is dangerous, even if you’re a great rider. Now, they say they’re willing to take risks with the Trump Virus. But, once again, they’re not just risking their lives. They’re risking everyone’s lives. And they’re risking all our lives by supporting Donald Trump, who’s allowed the Trump Virus to kill over 162,0000 Americans.

The biker rally will last ten days. Very few people will show signs of the Trump Virus while they’re in Sturgis. But wait a few days and we’ll start seeing signs across the country and read news reports about how someone who tested positive was at Sturgis…and then he droves across the country.

These people are risking a lot of lives for their politics. They’re risking lives for Donald Trump, lies, and conspiracy theories. Herman Cain did the same thing. Ask him how that worked out.

Bikers For Trump are just like all organizations for Trump. They should all merge under one name.

Stupid People For Trump.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Why, Covid, Why?


cjones08072020

In the midst of a pandemic, it seems the safest and surest way of voting would be by mail. Naturally, the idea of as many Americans as possible exercising their Constitutional right to vote for their chosen candidate scares the hell out of Republicans. Why? Because Republicans do better with fewer people voting. Republicans do better when they disenfranchise people from voting.

More people vote for Democrats than for Republicans in this country. That’s a fact. The only way Republicans control the Senate is because there are two Senators for each state. There are 42 states in this country that has a smaller population than Los Angeles County alone. So, a state like Wyoming, which only has around 580,000 people has just as much representation in the United States Senate as California, a state with a population approaching 40 million. One of the mantras of the American Revolution was, “No taxation without representation.” What about under-representation?

The 22 smallest U.S. states would have to be added together to match California’s population. So basically, there are 38 million Americans with 44 Senators and there is another 38 million with only 2. So our Senate system is unfair. Why should Californians be punished and under-represented? This is the same argument with the electoral college. Republicans believe acres of dirt should have more representation than people in blue states.

It’s just as bad with Congress. While you can’t gerrymander a state, you can with districts. Both parties have played the game of gerrymandering by redrawing district lines when their party controls their state legislature. But Republicans are much worse, or perhaps much better at it. In 2018, Democrats picked up 38 seats in Congress by winning 53% of the vote nationally in Congressional races. In 1994, during that huge wave of Republicans riding on Newt Gingrich’s Contract With America bullshit, the GOP picked up 54 seats in Congress by winning 51% of the vote.

Do you see what I see? Do you see the fact? Democrats needed a bigger margin of votes to win Congress in 2018…and they still got fewer seats than the GOP did when they took over Congress in 94. Republicans got more with less. How? Cheating!

Why do Democrats need more people to vote to beat Republicans, and still get less when they win? Because Republicans cheat. They gerrymander. They disenfranchise voters. They restrict who can vote. They remove people from voting rolls (Blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans, college students, etc). They remove voting precincts in minority neighborhoods. And, they ask foreign nations for help.

Worst of all, Donald Trump is president (sic) despite losing the popular vote. Despite that, Trump supporters love to say he’s the choice of the American people. He wasn’t then and he won’t be in 2020.

And still, Republicans make shit up about voter fraud. The idea here is when Donald Trump loses, there will be doubt among his supporters. There are still idiots for Trump who believe over 3 million non-citizens voted in 2016. They don’t have any proof but then again, they also believe Obama is a Kenyan who wiretapped Trump Tower.

Donald Trump claimed that there were over 3 million illegal voters in 2016. He created an election commission that disbanded after it couldn’t’ find any voter fraud. When Democrat Doug Jones won Jeff Sessions’ former Senate seat in Alabama, Republicans claimed black people were bussed in from Mississippi to vote. Donald Trump even argued that IDs should be required to vote because you need them to buy cereal, probably because one time, Eric was told Trix are for kids.

And now, there are cries about voter fraud with mail-in voting. It doesn’t exist. Donald Trump says absentee voting is fine, but mail-in voting isn’t. He’s fine with absentee voting because that’s how he votes. The thing is, absentee and mail-in voting are the same things.

And now, Donald Trump is suing to stop Nevada from mail-in voting while saying it’s OK if Florida does it. His argument for why it’s OK for Florida but not Nevada? Because Republicans control Florida. This is not a theory or speculation. He said it outright. And since Republicans control Florida, especially a Republican Trump sycophant who would rather watch his people die than risk provoking an angry Trump tweet, they can steal the election for Donald Trump.

Do you remember the hanging chad thing in the 2000 election? Who won Florida that year? The Supreme Court told the state to stop counting after the Republicans there, installed by George W. Bush’s brother, gave him the election. Al Gore won Florida but they gave it to Bush.

Whether it’s mail-in voting or in person, the Republicans are going to try to steal the election. It’s what they do. Why? Because they’re Republicans. They were cheating before Trump came along, but now with Trump, it’s much more brazen and stupid. They don’t hide it well.

Donald Trump literally said he’s OK with mail-in voting in Florida because his corrupt party controls the state.

This time it’s, “DeSantis, if you’re listening.” He’s listening.

Democrats need more to win honestly than Republicans need to win by cheating. The turnout for 2020 needs to be as high as possible. It’s why Trump is fighting to stop mail-in voting, except in Florida, which has a long history of corruption.

While Donald Trump can’t find any evidence of voter fraud, we have plenty of evidence of Republican fraud.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Republican Rescue


cjones08052020

After Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico in 2017, Donald Trump went to the island, after discovering it was an island, and threw out paper towels. Then, he proceeded to lie about the death toll and trash the residents of the United States territory, after he found out it was a United States territory.

Today, a lot of people still don’t get the fact, despite three years of evidence, that Donald Trump doesn’t give a flying fuck about anything unless it’s Donald Trump.

Take Donald Trump’s latest interview with Axios. When asked if he was impressed by the late congressman and civil rights icon John Lewis, Trump couldn’t answer the question except to complain Lewis didn’t come to his inauguration or his State of the Union speeches. Again, for Donald Trump, it’s all about DonaldTrump.

While millions of Americans are still unemployed with the extra $600 a week unemployment benefit expiring and facing evictions, Congress went on a three-day weekend. Democrats have had a plan on the table for months. It passed the House while it’s languished in the Senate. Republicans don’t like it because it’s too nice and doesn’t help out enough billionaire assholes. Republicans are afraid it’ll make poor and middle-class people lazy and a bunch of grifters, you know…like the president (sic).

Initially, the Trump White House, with negotiations led by Treasury Secretary Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, demanded cuts to testing and to the Center for Disease Control in a pandemic that’s killed over 150,000 Americans. But guess what the White House did demand to be inserted into the relief package?

Donald Trump has demanded at least $1.8 billion in the relief package to go for a new FBI headquarters in Washington, D.C. You might ask yourself, What the fuck does that have to do with the coronavirus? How does that help out anybody being hurt by this pandemic?

The answer is, it doesn’t. As Donald Trump said in that Axios interview about the death toll, “It is what it is.”

Before Trump came into office, there were plans to move the FBI headquarters out of the city. Maryland and Virginia both wanted the new HQ and that was the initial squabble. It’s a lot of money and jobs. Washington actually wants it to leave the city so they can use that prime downtown space for retail and make much more money from taxes than from another bloated government agency that Donald Trump has turned into his own personal goon squad.

Why does Donald Trump want the building to stay in the capital? The cynical person would bet it’s because Donald Trump has a financial stake in it. Shame on those cynics. Shame, for shame. The truth is…yeah. That prime retail space might go towards a hotel…one that would compete directly against the Trump Hotel which is nearby. Fortunately, it has been removed because it was even hard for Republican assholes to swallow.

Donald Trump also wants the government to receive a finders fee, gratuity, or tribute for the sale of the Chinese app, TikTok, if Microsoft buys it. I know deep down inside this story, there’s a payoff to Trump. Also, what happened to Republicans being against heavy regulations and higher payouts to the government? This is weird. What do Republicans really believe in anymore?

While running for president, Donald Trump promised a replacement for Obamacare. He said it was going to be “bigger, better, and cheaper.” We still haven’t seen it. He promised they wouldn’t try to repeal Obamacare until they had a replacement. They ended up trying, and failing, to repeal it before they had a replacement. Two weeks ago, he said the new plan would be unveiled in two weeks. That was over two weeks ago and still nothing. Instead, during this pandemic that’s killed over 150,000 Americans, Trump is still trying to kill Obamacare.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about you. Ask Herman Cain. Wait. You can’t. He’s dead from catching the Trump Virus at a Trump rally.

Trump and Republicans had four months at least to prepare for the unemployment and eviction protections to run out. Instead, they took vacations. Trump played a lot of golf. At this point, you’ll be lucky to get paper towels.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Herman Cain


cjones08022020

After finishing yesterday’s cartoon, I treated myself to a McDonald’s breakfast. As I was walking back into my apartment, I saw breaking news on CNN about Herman Cain. I was hoping the “breaking news” was that he was being released from the hospital after acquiring coronavirus. I am sad it wasn’t. I don’t wish bad health or death upon anyone, no matter their politics.

Yesterday afternoon, I saw a post from a conservative cartoonist complaining about the media “implying” Herman Cain caught the coronavirus at Donald Trump’s Tulsa rally. How dare that dastardly media for reporting the facts. That same conservative was upset President Obama “politicized” John Lewis’ death by talking about the issue John Lewis dedicated his life to, voting rights, but ignored that Donald Trump used Herman Cain’s death to hurl another racial slur about the “China” virus.

Perhaps if we had better contract tracing, we would have a better understanding of where Cain caught the virus, but as the facts stand, the Tulsa rally is a pretty good culprit. Cain was hospitalized less than two weeks after attending Trump’s campaign rally in Tulsa.

Local officials warned the Trump Campaign not to hold the indoor rally. While preparing for the rally in Tulsa, several members of the campaign and the Secret Service caught the virus. While the turnout was seriously disappointing for the campaign, as most people didn’t want a hate rally to kill them, it was still too large of an indoor gathering during the coronavirus pandemic.

Before the rally, Donald Trump played down wearing masks and social distancing. Neither was mandated at the rally in a state where the virus was surging. The campaign removed social distancing stickers from seats. They discouraged any safety measures being taken at the rally. Yet, they still required all attendees to sign a waiver absolving the Trump Campaign of any liability in the case of them catching the coronavirus. During this pandemic, Donald Trump said he took no responsibility for any of the government’s failures. And if you catch the virus while going out of your way to praise him, he won’t accept any responsibility for that either.

Herman Cain was excited to attend the rally. He tweeted that not wearing a mask to the rally was freedom. During the rally, he tweeted a photo of him with several “Black Voices for Trump” and “Having a fantastic time.” Nobody was wearing a mask in the photo. Shortly before entering the hospital, he tweeted about Donald Trump’s July 4th South Dakota rally and that people were “fed up” with having to wear face masks. He was cheering over face masks not being mandated at that particular rally. But which is a greater inconvenience, wearing a face mask or being dead? Well, we can’t ask him.

Even after he was hospitalized, Herman kept up with politicizing the virus. He touted hydroxychloroquine as a treatment. No word yet on whether it was used to treat him. He tweeted three days ago, “Thank God baseball didn’t panic like the media wanted” over the widespread coronavirus contamination of the Miami Marlins which is probably going to cancel the rest of the baseball season.

Donald Trump expressed his condolences to Herman Cain’s family and he blamed China without mentioning his Tulsa rally. But before tweeting anything about Cain, he illegally promoted a pizza place (not Godfather’s) on Long Island that has some controversy over flying a Trump flag. Trump said, “Great pizza” about the pizza he’s never had in his life. For all he knows, it’s on the same level as Sbarro.

When it comes to the virus, Republicans are slow learners. Even while having the virus, Herman Cain continued to politicize it. He politicized it all the way to his grave. Politicizing it is what put him in there. Are Republicans learning from this?

Congressman Louis Gohmert has spent months politicizing the virus and being an anti-mask wearer. After contracting the coronavirus, he informed his staff in person while…wait for it…not wearing a mask. So, no. Republicans are NOT learning from this. Later, Louis said he probably caught the virus from the facemasks he hardly ever wore. Now, bald-headed mask-hating Louis is going to fight the virus with…wait for it again…hydroxychloroquine. Gohmert is risking his life to cater to Donald Trump’s ego. Herman Cain lost his life kissing Donald Trump’s ass. Republicans are slow learners. You don’t want to die with your lips fully planted on Trump’s ass.

And the thing about Louis Gohmert being tested is that he wasn’t tested for his health. He was tested to protect Donald Trump as was required before boarding a plane with him.

Herman Cain’s death was tragic and it could have been prevented. The Tulsa rally could have been postponed, canceled, or never planned in the first place during a pandemic. Donald Trump was selfish for his cult’s worship during a pandemic. Unfortunately, his friend’s wellbeing, like that of the rest of this nation’s, was not important to Donald Trump.

If nothing else, we could be learning from Herman Cain’s death, or using it to at least educate Republicans. But with Trump still attending fundraisers maskless and people like Louis Gohmert continuing to cling to political conspiracy theories instead of science, Herman’s life was truly wasted.

For my conservative “pal” upset the media is “implying” Herman Cain caught the virus at Donald Trump’s Tulsa rally, sorry. All evidence points at the Tulsa rally. And instead of calling it the “China Virus,” call it the “Trump Virus” because the Trump Virus killed Herman Cain. It was wasted in the name of Trumpism. It was the cost of being in the Trump cult.

Donald Trump killed Herman Cain. His greed, selfishness, and sheer stupidity killed Him. Herman could have saved his own life by never joining the Trump cult. Donald Trump kills people. Donald Trump is a cancer. Donald Trump is poison.

But Herman isn’t the only one. So far, the Trump Virus has killed over 152,000 Americans. What’s our national plan for fighting it? We still don’t have one and Donald Trump now wants to risk your children’s lives for his own self-interest. At this point, it’s definitely the Trump Virus. Since Donald Trump doesn’t want to do anything to combat the virus and save Americans from it, the only cure is to vote him out of office.

During the 2016 campaign, Donald Trump asked black Americans, “What do you have to lose?”. Today, ask all Americans that question. Herman Cain has your answer.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Burying The Numbers


cjones07212020

As the coronavirus pandemic started to take form in the United States and there were only 15 known cases, Donald Trump assured us the numbers would start going down and soon we would be at zero cases. This was one of many lies from Donald Trump and his administration about the virus.

Today, Donald Trump is telling us that the only reason we have so many cases is that we have so much testing as if testing creates cases. He says we test more than any other nation. He tells us the virus is harmless to 99 percent of those who catch it. He says we have one of the “lowest mortality rates in the world.” Each of these claims is a lie.

Donald Trump has told over 20,000 lies since becoming president (sic) and even when it comes to public safety and mortality, he continues to lie. His niece, Mary Trump, the author of the new book “Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man,” said her uncle is not able to solve the coronavirus. If Donald Trump can’t admit when he’s made mistakes or even accept scientific evidence and facts during a pandemic, then he’s not the man to solve the pandemic.

We are rapidly approaching 140,00 deaths from the coronavirus in the United States. Mary Trump picked the right title for her book. Donald Trump is the world’s most dangerous man.

Now, the White House is ordering hospitals to stop reporting key data about their patients to the Center for Disease Control and to instead feed it into a new system that will flow directly to the Health and Human Services Department, which oversees the CDC. This means the White House is engaging in a coverup of the death toll. They don’t want us to know the numbers. They’re going to be hidden away like Trump’s taxes and the results from his cognitive test.

For months, Republicans and conspiracy theorists have argued the death toll was inflated. Florida, where Governor Ron DeSantis is a Trump goon, has misreported data from the state.

Florida was warned not to skip safety steps to reopen and that they should wait, and when they did reopen, to do it in phases as New York did. Ron DeSantis scoffed, attacked the press for the reporting, and boasted about how his state was doing so well and conquered the pandemic. Then, he reopened his state. Disney World Reopened. Professional Wrestling was declared an essential service. The Republican National Committee was invited to Jacksonville. Ron DeSantis took an obnoxious victory lap. National Review published an article titled, “Where does Ron DeSantis go to get his apology?”. I hope DeSantis isn’t holding his breath.

Florida was late to shut down and early to reopen. Now, Florida has the worst outbreak of coronavirus in the country. It’s one of the worst in the world. Since the beginning of July, Covid19 cases in the state have gone up nearly 60 percent. Florida has 20 percent more cases than Arizona, 70 percent more cases than Texas, and more than double the cases of California. Florida has more new cases than Europe. In case you’re a Republican, Europe is a continent. The only continent we should have more cases than is Antarctica. Despite all this, DeSantis and Republicans want every school in the state to open. And DeSantis still hasn’t issued an order mandating face masks to be worn. Seriously, there are too many stupid people in charge of important shit in this country.

Then, DeSantis blamed the media claiming they never reported on the virus during the month of May. Yeah, I totally remember a month-long coronavirus news blackout. As a member of the press, I demand an apology from Ron DeSantis.

DeSantis is a Trump acolyte. During his campaign for governor, he ran commercials showing him teaching his children how to build racist walls. He was slow to reopen because Donald Trump downplayed the virus. He was quick to reopen because Donald Trump screamed for the nation to reopen (remember when it was going to go away in spring and we could reopen by Easter?). He wanted the GOP’s convention in his state, acting as though the state scheduled to host it, North Carolina, was overreacting. Even that wrestling thing where he made it an essential business, World Wrestling Entertainment is partly-owned by the chairperson of a Trump super-PAC and former cabinet member, Linda McMahon (and huge donor to the Trump bogus charity).

DeSantis is on board with Donald Trump lying about the virus. Their lies about how bad it isn’t are just as bad as their lies to cover it up. Trump says we have the lowest mortality rate in the world when we have the 7th highest. In case you’re a Republican, there are more than seven countries on the planet and they’re all laughing at us. In fact, 120 more countries have lower mortality rates than we do. So where does Trump get off stating a lie that big? As we’ve learned over the past four years, it doesn’t matter what Trump lies about, his supporters will repeat it.

We don’t have the lowest mortality rate. We don’t have the most testing. And we haven’t had the best leaders. It was reported yesterday that Trump banned flights from Europe too late. It was too late for New York. When Trump first banned flights from China, he only banned travel for Chinese. If it was trade or passengers were American, then they could come on in as if the virus was as racist as Trump is. The virus doesn’t care who has a passport. A lot of people have forgotten about this, but when he initially banned travel from Europe, he excluded nations that had…wait for it…Trump resorts. Seriously, he was willing to let people die over his fucking pocketbook.

Now, the CDC is delaying a release on guidance for reopening schools and the White House sat on a report stating 18 states are in a coronavirus “red zone,” and recommends counties in the red zone to revert to more stringent pandemic measures like closing bars and gyms, limiting social gatherings to 10 people or fewer and requiring masks “at all times outside the home.”

After actions like that, the coronavirus deserves the title “Trump Virus.” Donald Trump has single-handedly made this virus worse. Donald Trump’s response, and lack of, has cost lives. Now he’s trying to hide deaths from the virus. When you have to lie about the numbers, you know you’ve done a lousy job. Donald Trump is the world’s most dangerous man.

DeSantis wants an apology from the media? The entire world is owed an apology from DeSantis, Donald Trump, and everyone who has ever supported these people.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump V. Fauci


cjones07182020

Donald Trump and his White House full of goons and shitweasels are very fond of engaging in smear campaigns. Every politician engages in opposition research on their political opponents, but it’s different with Trump. For Trump, it’s about dehumanizing and bullying to destroy the credibility of their political opponents. Sometimes it works beyond his base. For example, during the 2016 presidential election, the majority of voters found Hillary Clinton less honest than Donald Trump. There is nobody on this planet less honest than Donald Trump.

Trump’s latest opposition talking points, attacks, and bullying is even stranger than usual as it’s not against a political opponent, but on someone who is on his team. Donald Trump is trying to tear down Dr. Anthony Fauci, a scientist who has worked for six presidents from both parties. A doctor who is a recipient of the Presidential Medal of Honor. A man who is polled as being the most trusted individual in the nation.

Donald Trump’s problems with Dr. Fauci are facts and the fact he can’t fire him. He can fire Fauci but he’ll pay a hard price for it politically. But maybe, like he did with commuting the prison sentence of his personal henchman, Roger Stone, Trump will disregard wisdom and shitcan the scientist. The other problem, facts, is one Donald Trump has struggled with his entire life. Ask the Central Park 5, any of the New Jersey Muslims celebrating he saw on TV celebrating 9/11, or anyone who was on his Obama-Birth-Certificate-Fact-Finding mission.

Republican opposition to science didn’t start with Trump. They’ve used bullshit to deny the existence of Climate Change and never really understood how reproduction works. Rush Limbaugh thinks if a woman takes birth control pills daily, it means she’s having lots of sex because she’s a major slut. But with Trump, science is even harder. He thinks windmills cause cancer. He wonders if we can nuke hurricanes. He’s an anti-vaxxer. He thinks exercise depletes our life energy. The orange motherfucker took his shades off and stared directly at an eclipse.  But it’s the scientist who the White House is trying to discredit as someone who gets facts wrong when it comes to science.

Over the weekend, Donald Trump’s top advisers (goons) released a list to various media sources of statements he had made early in the coronavirus outbreak that they said was inaccurate. The interesting part of this is that the list was distributed anonymously. As in, nobody wanted their names on it. Funny thing, the administration has screamed in the past about anonymous sources coming from the White House. Of course, when spokesBarbie Kayleigh McEnany was asked about this, she failed to address it.

When the coronavirus first appeared, scientists, including Fauci, made statements that later turned out to be wrong. At first, it was believed we didn’t need masks or change our way of life. It was believed asymptomatic people didn’t spread the virus. But the thing is, as we learned otherwise on those aspects, people like Dr. Fauci changed their message, addressed where they were wrong, and implemented new strategies. Dr. Fauci has never told you wrong information in direct contrast to known facts. Guess who has done that. I’ll give you a hint. He’s an orange piece of lying garbage who would throw your grandmother into a trash compactor for an extra scoop of ice cream.

Dr. Fauci and other scientists changed their warnings and advice as new information was gathered. I’m sure information will continue to change as we still require knowledge about catching the virus twice and there are still debates over herd immunity. We don’t know everything yet. But Donald Trump has continued to lie and defy science over what is known.

It’s like when Republicans use the whatabout when they say, “But Obama promised if we liked our doctors, we could keep our doctors.” What they leave out is that after it was proven wrong, Obama stopped saying it. Donald Trump states a lie, it’s proven to be a lie, then Donald Trump doubles-down and continues to spread the lie.

Donald Trump lied about the direction of a hurricane after the fact, then ordered a government agency to repeat his lie.

While the White House is distributing a list of what Dr. Fauci got wrong, they’re not distributing one where Trump wasn’t just wrong, but when he lied about the virus.

There is not a list from the White House that included Trump stating, “Anyone who needs a test, gets a test.” They’re not reminding us that the virus would disappear in warm weather, or that testing creates cases, or that a vaccine is very near, or after 15 cases it would start going down, or the real gem of shooting UV light and household cleaning products into bodies. Where’s that list, White House goons?

This administration and president (sic) is so anti-science, that despite staring directly at evidence Republican states reopened too early, they’re still screaming for schools to reopen without offering any plans to do so safely. They’re even lying that children don’t spread the coronavirus. Their lies kill people.

This president (sic) is so anti-science, he’s not quoting Dr. Fauci. He’s quoting Chuck Woolery. This reality TV host of a president is getting his science from a game show host. This is the new normal. Everyone gets the coronavirus home version.

Donald Trump has ruined the lives of career professionals in the past for his petty ego and selfish personal agenda. Just ask James Comey, Andrew McCabe, or Alexander Vindman. Now, he’s trying to do it to Dr. Anthony Fauci, a man who was helping this nation fight the AIDS crisis while Donald Trump was grifting contractors, stealing from children’s charities, and making predictions on how large his daughter’s breasts would grow. Anyone who is helping Donald Trump to ruin these careers, like SpokesBarbie, should be shamed, ostracized, and never hired or even invited to a cocktail party for their rest of their lives.

Former acting Chief-of-Staff Mick Mulvaney wrote a column expressing outrage at our inability to test. What did Mulvaney expect after spending so much time in service of a lying piece of selfish stupid crap like Donald Trump? The only reason Mulvaney is speaking out now is because it’s affecting his family. But before this, Mulvaney helped enable this horror shitshow by working on Donald Trump’s agenda of hatred and stupidity. Surprise! It didn’t work out.

Who could have guessed that a moronic reality TV show host who doesn’t know anything and is too stupid to listen to people who do would make such a bad president?

If you’re a Trump supporter, go ahead and keep listening to Donald Trump, who in turn listens to fucknut shitweasels like Chuck Woolery. I’ll be listening to Dr. Anthony Fauci.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

A Mousey Reopening


CNN07122020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

There are multiple theories as to why Donald Trump and his band of fucknuts are pressuring schools to reopen.

One theory is they need kids in school for teachers to babysit so their parents can carry on the business of stimulating the economy by going back to work. Another theory is Donald Trump wants the appearance of things being back to normal so he can continue to bark that is and win reelection. The third theory is that they just want to kill you.

Those could all be true to some extent but one thing that is definitely true is Donald Trump doesn’t care about you or your children. If he did, he wouldn’t continue to lie about the pandemic while pushing for reopenings.

Representative Ayanna Pressley said she wouldn’t trust Education Secretary Betsy DeVos with a houseplant let alone her child.

Pressley tweeted at DeVos, who has zero experience working with public education and once said we need guns in schools for protection from bears, on the Trump administration’s plans to reopen saying, “You have no plan. Teachers, kids, and parents are fearing for their lives. You point to a private sector that has put profits over people and claimed the lives of thousands of essential workers. I wouldn’t trust you to care for a house plant let alone my child.”

It’s not entirely true the Trump administration has no plans for reopening schools. They are planning to withhold federal funding from schools if they don’t reopen. They are literally holding children hostage…again. The only thing is, they’re not putting your kids into cages. And maybe DeVos could manage to care for a plastic houseplant without killing it…maybe.

This administration has planned less for reopening schools than Disney World has for their reopening.

Disney World reopened in Florida on the same day the state hit a new record for coronavirus cases. Is nobody paying attention in Florida?

Disney’s plans include requiring face masks to be worn at all times, no character meet-and-greet (that can be a good thing if Goofy still freaks you out), fewer restaurants, employees dispensing hand sanitizer to each person getting on a ride, and no parades.

CNN business writer Alexis Benveniste wrote that Disney World’s reopening felt like the “beginning of a horror movie.”

That’s silly. The horror movie started four years ago.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.