Covid19

Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Swollen Testicles


Cjones09202021

I have a cartooning colleague who has some views on the coronavirus you should not trust. It’s not what you think. He’s pro-vaccine and maybe pro-face mask. But now he’s telling people that hand sanitizer doesn’t work against the coronavirus. He claims he caught COVID about three months before anyone else in this country caught it. And after being fully vaxxed, he slithered into a Walgreens, didn’t tell them he was already fully vaxxed, and got a booster before the CDC advised for it.

I have another cartooning colleague who is anti-face masks, anti-vaccine, anti-social distancing, claims the government is using all of it to control you and the virus was a hoax. He claims it’s no worse than the flu and the number of deaths are fabricated. He claims he tested positive for COVID antibodies and like Rand Paul, he’s now immune…forever. He calls people who wear face masks “sheeple” and cowards and mocks them for being afraid to leave their homes without a facemask, even though he’s afraid to leave his home without an assault rifle.

Do you know what both of these cartoonists, one being a liberal socialist and the other being a Nazi-supporting white supremacist, have in common other than being cartoonists? They’re not scientists or doctors. You should not believe what they say without fact-checking it. Even though anything I post has been confirmed by scientists, you should not blindly trust me. Go behind me and fact-check what I say. Why? Because I’m not a doctor or a scientists either. One of my best friends is a physicist and I can’t tell you what he does for a living even though he’s told me a thousand times. I am not a scientist and that, you do not have to fact-check.

Even though cartoonists are supposed to base their work on facts and real information (too many cartoonists are NOT doing that anymore), you still can’t totally trust a cartoonist for your science. Last week, I saw a cartoon blaming natural disasters on God’s wrath over our woke culture. It’s not global warming, it’s trans athletes in little girls’ bathrooms. Granted, that guy’s a climate-change denying fundamentalist zealot lunatic, but still…trust scientists.

Don’t trust cartoonists. Don’t trust stupid Republican senators who are self-certified eye doctors and not immunologists or virus experts. And, don’t trust pop singers.

Nicki Minaj is a very famous pop singer even though I can’t name one of her songs (except for the one with Lonely Island, “The Creep”). Minaj, who is from Trinidad (in case you’re a Republican, Trinidad is an entirely different country and not some girl named Trini’s daddy) is refusing to be vaccinated and says her cousin in Trinidad is also refusing to be vaccinated because a friend of hers got the vaccine and it made him impotent with swollen testicles. Rose McGowan, another anti-vaxxer celebrity, is backing Nicki’s claim about her cousin’s friend in Trinidad.

Did you have a friend when you were a teen, or maybe you were the friend, that claimed he had a girlfriend but she went to a different school? Maybe you or that friend claimed the never-seen girlfriend was in Canada. The cool thing about doing that to defend yourself from dreaded accusations of virginity is that nobody can prove you’re lying. Nobody can fact-check it because nobody ever goes to Canada. Hell, it may not even exist. All those photos and videos of Canada were created in the same studio they faked the moon landing in. But, you can’t put it down as certifiable fact that this person claiming he has a girlfriend elsewhere is definitely telling you the truth and not lying his virgin ass off. By the way, my high school girlfriend lives on the moon. Good luck debunking that, fuckers.

But ya’ know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking Tucker Carlson was that guy back when he was a student at a fancy-schmancy pants prep school. Tucker got kicked out of a Swiss prep school, probably for being too white, and I bet when he resumed studies at a U.S. prep school, he claimed to have left a girlfriend back in Switzerland. I’ve seen photos of Swiss women and I’ve seen photos of Tucker. Trust me: Tucker never had a Swiss girlfriend. If someone shows you a photo of their girlfriend, and it’s on a box of hot chocolate, she’s probably not real.

I’m not just basing this speculation that Tucker had an imaginary cartoon girlfriend when he was in prep school on how Tucker looks, his punchable face, or how feeble and undesirable he is. I base this on the fact Tucker took Nicki’s claim and spread it.

Tucker Carlson reported Nicki’s claims…and then shockingly, he made a correction. What he corrected was his initial reporting that it was Nicki’s cousin who has a big-ball crisis, and not her friend’s balls. I’m glad he cleared that up. Tucker wants to get in touch (hopefully, not literally) with Nicki’s cousin’s friend so he can fly down to Trinidad to get the full scoop on the swollen nuts. It will be the first time testicles were ever interviewed by a dick. Hey, Tucks….as the great Tallahassee said in Zombieland, “Nut up or shut up.”

This has gotten so crazy that Dr. Anthony Fauci and the health Minister of Trinidad have had to debunk it. And Dr. Fauci has much more important things to do, like debunking stupid shit Rand Paul says and refraining himself from leaping over a table and kicking his ass as though he was his next door neighbor. I have been fully vaccinated and I can assure you that my testicles…wait a minute…mmmhmmm….yeah…OK. I just checked and they’re still fine. No, Tucker can’t inspect them.

The worst thing about ballgate might that someone with a primetime cable news show on a supposed news outlet is pushing unverified claims as fact. Even if you do have a talk show on a news channel that specializes in opinion, you’re still supposed to be a journalist. You’re still supposed to abide by the ethics of journalism. The ethics of journalism prevents most journalists from spreading misinformation on stolen elections, horse de-wormer, or third-person claims without verification, like Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s swollen balls.

Keep in mind, Tucker is in that same right-wing crowd that cast aspersions on actual news outlet’s use of anonymous sources. Before Tucker supports and helps spread this wild claims, he should make a trip to fondle some Trinidadian balls.

Tucker is spreading this unverified story for one of two reasons: He is desperate for anything to debunk COVID vaccines or…he really wants to touch some balls.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Mandates. Yes, Please


Cjones09132021

President Joe Biden is getting tougher. On Thursday, President Biden said to the nation, “We have the tools to combat COVID-19, and a distinct minority of Americans, supported by a distinct minority of elected officials, are keeping us from turning the corner. These pandemic politics, as I refer to it, are making people sick, causing unvaccinated people to die.”

Now, the anti-vaxxers are going to triple down on playing the persecuted victims, because white conservatives are the most persecuted people in world history…and if you don’t believe me, ask one of them. What I respect about this is that President Biden admonished the unvaccinated fucknuts while his polls are dropping. He’s not playing politics with this. He’s doing what’s best for the nation, even though half the nation is going to boo-hoo their asses off over it.

Think about this: If this wasn’t to help the nation, why else would President Biden want to do this? Don’t give me that bullshit about him wanting to enact big government and control capitalism…or destroy capitalism. Don’t sell that fascist line after you spent four years supporting a fascist. But why would President Biden want do something that’s going to hurt him politically? Why would Biden want to hand Republicans a huge gift like this of a talking point if he wasn’t truly trying to save this nation?

On top of blaming the idiots for this, where the blame truly does belong, he mandated every business in the nation with more than 100 employees require their workers to be vaccinated or undergo weekly testing. Republicans are livid and vowing to fight this in the courts.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott called it “an assault on private businesses.”

South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster said Biden had “declared war against capitalism” and promised to “fight them to the gates of hell to protect the liberty and livelihood of every South Carolinian.” Yeah, sure.

The Federalist, a right-wing online publication for yee-haw douchey-doos, called it a “fascist move.” If the “Fascist Move” was a dance, it’d be all the rage at Mar-a-Lago.

J.D. Vance is a fucknut running for one of Ohio’s senate seats and he called for “mass civil disobedience,” urging Americans to refuse to comply with any new requirement or to pay any subsequent fine. Yeah, don’t listen to that guy.

It gets more extreme. Josh Mandel, another goose-stepping douche canoe running for that Ohio senate seat, warned that President Biden will send the Gestapo to enforce his order. I’d rather vote for Howie Mandel. At least he’s not a Nazi accusing other people of being Nazis.

But here’s the thing, kiddos: President Biden doesn’t need the Gestapo (sic). No, because big businesses is saying, “Yes, please.”

The fact is, this pandemic is hurting businesses. It’s been hurting them since the start of this pandemic. The economy is in a recovery mode now (partly thanks to Trump being defeated at the polls), but it’s a slow recovering. The pace would pick up greatly if more Americans would get vaccinated. Everyone fighting vaccinations and politicizing this is waging war, not just on Democrats and liberals, but on America. Every business owner, large and small, knows this pandemic is what hurt them. Wall Street knows it. Every bar and restaurant knows it.

Companies want their employees to be vaccinated. They want to mandate they do so and some companies have. But, other companies have resisted out of the fear some workers will quit and go to another company without a vaccine mandate. Now, President Biden has eliminated that concern for them. President Biden, in an act of leadership, is being the bad guy for America’s businesses. They now get to say, “Don’t blame me. Blame the president” while actually being giddy as shit this is going down.

An employee can quit over these mandates, but where’s he going to go? He can’t even drive Uber without getting the vax. He can’t collect unemployment either.

This will be taken to court with one argument being that the president can’t force people to receive vaccines. But, he’s not. If you work for a large company and don’t want to get the vaccine because Tucker (who has been vaccinated) told you not to, then you don’t have to. Just take a COVID test each week. I’m sure that’ll be fun and you can still claim you’re owning the libs.

President Biden has ordered the Labor Department to write an emergency rule requiring employers with more than 100 workers to demand weekly tests or proof of vaccination. Violations are punishable with fines up to $14,000 each. Ha! Ha! What gives President Biden the authority to do this? Congress gave it to him.

In 1970, Congress gave the Labor Department’s Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) authority to write regulations governing workplace safety, including emergency standards that are valid for six months. I’m sure some courts will strike it down and it’ll go back and forth, but how is not spreading a deadly virus at work not a workplace safety issue?

The other thing is, the government already does mandate vaccines. There are multiple vaccines required for attending public school. Did you attend public school? Then guess what, fucker. You got vaccinated against all sorts of nasty shit, whether you wanted it or not. And as I recall, I did not want it because I was a little chickenshit child deathly afraid of needles. I didn’t even think about what was in it or even what it was for. I don’t recall all of them, but I do recall being an elementary student in Elgin, Illinois standing in line for a shot and letting each kid behind me go in line before me. I was breaking in line backwards until I got caught.

And if I recall correctly, the needles used to vaccinate me as a child looked like harpoons used by whalers.

Republicans need to get the hell out of the way and help the rest of us save this nation. And why are Republicans opposing big business on this? The GOP is the big business party. They gave them all massive permanent tax cuts under Donald Trump. And it was Trump who hurt the economy by playing down, under his own admission, and politicizing the pandemic.

The Republicans gave up being the party that supports the troops, veterans, police, being anti-terrorist, anti-Russia, and being the party of family values. What are they going to give up next? Divorces?

Sure thing, Republicans. Stop being the party that supports capitalism. While you’re at it, why don’t you stop being the party of racism, sexism, and against free elections? How about you stop being the party that spreads lies and conspiracy theories? Or best of all, just stop being a fucking cult.

President Biden is being a leader. He’s doing something half the country will rip him apart for, and he knows it. The Republicans are going to excoriate the president over this. They will win a lot of independents who will see this as an overreaching move by Biden and big government. They could possibly bring him down with this.

And all the while, the president will be saving the country.

Note: I’ve been trying to cut down on my cursing in the blog. But every time, fucking Republicans.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Too Late To Vaccinate


Cjones08022021

I don’t look for confrontations when I go out. I’m not a club person and when I do get a beer in a bar, I usually wanna keep to myself unless I’m hanging out with a friend. My rule for hearing people say stupid shit or make racist comments is: If they’re not talking to me, let it go. If they do address me, then I have a moral responsibility to let them know I don’t accept that shit. Usually when I do this, I try to do it as diplomatically as possible which can be difficult when you are calling someone a racist and when you are me.

There was that time someone said, “So you think you’re better than me because I say the N-word?,” except he didn’t say “N-word.” He said that other word. I replied, “Since I’m not a racist fuck. Yes. Yes, I do think I’m better than you.” For some reason, it went downhill from there.

When it comes to racist comments, if I don’t at least say I’m not down with the racist program, I feel as though I’m betraying everyone in my life who is non-white. I have friends and family members who aren’t white. I don’t want to be two-faced.

When I talked about this on Facebook earlier this week, a conservative said I should question how I look since these MAGAts assume I’m one of them. It’s true. I do look like one of them. I fit the demographic, other than having teeth and not dragging my knuckles. I am a middle-aged white male and 58 percent of us voted for Donald Trump. Of course, I did not.

And it’s not just conservatives who will assume I’m a Trumper. A few weeks ago, I had an online exchange with a fellow liberal cartoonist where we disagreed on something and his readers started calling me a racist. In his readers’ defense, the other cartoonist did lie and claim I said, “Racism doesn’t exist anywhere.” Of course, I’d never say anything close to that but I fit the demographic of someone who would. Sure, maybe his readers could have read what I actually wrote instead of being a bunch of ravenous lemmings going over a cliff for a lie, but that’s how social media works now. Maybe that’s the trade off for benefiting from white privilege my entire life. Most people who look like me won’t even admit white privilege exists. Remember when they wouldn’t admit the coronavirus pandemic didn’t exist? The same people who claim white privilege isn’t a thing also claimed the virus was a hoax.

The people who look like I do began the pandemic lying about it. They claimed it didn’t exist. Then they claimed the numbers of deaths were inflated and fabricated. They claimed it wasn’t worse than the flu. They claimed we didn’t need mask mandates or that we should quarantine. They claimed we didn’t even need to mask up at all. They claimed we shouldn’t shut down. They claimed vaccines don’t work while claiming hydroxychloroquine does. They claim there are tracking devices in the vaccines. They spent a year and a half attacking the people trying to help them. They spent a year and a half attacking Dr. Anthony Fauci and now, they’re claiming he helped create the virus and is a murderer. Seriously. A United States senator has spread this lie.

These lies are killing people. The president (sic) who admitted he played down the virus at the beginning of it should be accused of murder before Dr. Fauci. The “liberate Michigan” people should be accused of murder before Dr. Fauci. Every talking head on Fox News should be accused of murder before the scientists are accused. It’s these people and their lies who are bringing covid back…which is again killing people.

Which brings us back to public confrontations.

I went out last Tuesday to a Mexican restaurant close to my house where I could take advantage of Taco Tuesday and grab a beer while I watched the Olympics. I was sitting at the bar with my street tacos and a beer when this guy, in my demographic, got up to leave, but just as he was leaving, Dr. Fauci appeared on one of the TVs. The guy nudged me and said, “There’s Dr. Mumbler who kills people.” My first reaction was, “What?” I mean, “Dr. Mumbler?” What? The guy said it again. I recovered and replied, “I don’t know who Dr. Mumbler is but that’s Dr. Anthony Fauci who’s is an American hero despite the slanders from fucknuts like you.” Yeah, I don’t think I made a new friend. He didn’t say anything else and got out of there. I told the bartender, “I don’t like that.” She said, “I’ll allow it.” She didn’t like him either.

If that guy made those same comments, but they weren’t directed at me, I would have let it go. But what was I supposed to do, nod and play along? Maybe I could have done it without the “fucknut,” but…I’ll get over it. Perhaps what annoyed me most was him assuming I was like him. Damn this demographic!

That guy was an asshole. The gentleman I talked to yesterday was not.

I took a Lyft to my post office yesterday (there will be a blog later about was waiting for me at the post office). My driver was not wearing a face mask as he was supposed to. In fact, the second Lyft driver I got also was not wearing a face mask. But, the first driver (yes, he was white) started talking about the pandemic and the delta variant. He did not say if he was vaccinated or not and I didn’t ask. But I believe he was not. He said there was no reason to get vaccinated since it wouldn’t protect you from the new variant.

The man didn’t seem like he was an antivaxxer. He didn’t seem as though he was politicizing it. He didn’t seem hateful. But he was ignorant. I told him, as politely as possible (I didn’t want to affect my rating) that the vaccine doesn’t guarantee you won’t catch the coronavirus but it’s very effective against it. It’s very effective against you catching it. And if you do catch it after becoming vaccinated, it’s very effective in making your case mild. The fact is, over 90% of people being hospitalized for covid now are UNVACCINATED. I don’t think I convinced this man because he’s been fed bullshit for a year and a half. The Fox News propaganda is a lot to overcome.

The driver told me he can’t trust scientist because they keep changing the science. Nobody is changing the science. The only thing that changes is the virus. It has changed. That’s what a variant is. Didn’t you watch Loki?

Thanks to that propaganda, only 48% of our nation is vaccinated. Thanks to that propaganda, the delta variant is bringing covid back and increasing hospitalizations again. Thanks to the right-wing bullshit, people are having to be hospitalized. And according to some doctors, that’s when they ask to be vaccinated.

Alix Zacharsk, a nurse at Jackson Health System in Miami (same city where the weird package I received came from) said that when young people infected with covid arrive at her hospital, they ask if they can get vaccinated. Unfortunately, no. You cannot get vaccinated while you’re infected. You can get vaccinated after the infection has run its course.

Dr. Brytney Cobia of Grandview Medical Center in Alabama said a lot of their covid patients who change their minds about vaccinations don’t ever get the chance to be vaccinated.

Dr. Cobia wrote on Facebook, “One of the last things they do before they’re intubated is beg me for the vaccine. I hold their hand and tell them that I’m sorry, but it’s too late.”

She also wrote, “A few days later when I call time of death, I hug their family members and I tell them the best way to honor their loved one is to go get vaccinated and encourage everyone they know to do the same.”

If you’re not infected yet, it’s not too late for you to be vaccinated. Stop being an idiot and get vaccinated. Hell, you can even get vaccinated while bitching about vaccinations. Just don’t tell anyone you got it. That’s what Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump did. They didn’t tell anyone because it didn’t fit their propaganda, but they were sure to save their own asses while not caring about yours.

Donald Trump ignored medical advice and health guidelines and he caught covid. He can thank his ignorance for that. So when the vaccine came about, he made sure to take it because having covid nearly killed him. Yeah, they didn’t tell you that either. But since Donald Trump is a selfish piece of crap, he didn’t tell anyone he received the vaccination. He and Melania took it in secret while President Biden, Vice-President Kamala Harris, and former presidents Jimmy Carter, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Barack Obama all took it publicly. But maybe Donald Trump wasn’t intending to play down the vaccine and was only concerned that if he took the vaccine on camera, we’d all see his pasty flabby arms.

It’s too late to get the vaccine when they stick a tube down your throat…or you’re put into a hole in the ground.

If you are unvaccinated, politicized the pandemic, and went to war over it, you have lost. Florida governor Ron DeSantis claimed victory before his state started to lead the nation in covid cases. He’s still fighting the war and attacking Dr. Fauci…even though he’s already lost the war.

You lost. It’s time to end your war and politicization of the vaccine. Take the vaccine. Your stupid argument of having the right not to vaccinate is like your right to throw punches. That right ends where my nose begins. Take the vaccine. Don’t be selfish and just do it for yourself. Do it for your friends, family, community, and nation.

That’s the hardest thing to get through to conservatives. They are selfish and they typically only do things for themselves. Maybe if fucknuts on Fox News told them to do it for the greater good, they’d get vaccinated and help their country defeat this virus. Nah, the “greater good” sounds too much like socialism.

Fine, if you won’t do it for your country, do it for yourself. They don’t vaccinate graves.

Creative note: Doug is an Easter egg but only Claytoonz super fans will be able to figure it out.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Covid Picnic


Cjones08012021

A conservative colleague of mine posted a cartoon yesterday stating he did not understand why all of us, including those who are vaccinated, have to return to wearing face masks.

My colleague is not a stupid person. I believe he’s just playing to the stupid base because he knows what side of his stupid bread gets the stupid butter. But let’s pretend he is stupid because you have to be stupid to not understand why we have to go back to wearing face masks.

It’s pretty simple. We have to go back to wearing face masks because of simplistic, whiny, moronic, pathetic, selfish rightwing assholes who have spent the past year and a half attacking science and those who spread facts.

There is no excuse for failing to understand this because the information is readily available and it’s been repeated again and again. Maybe instead of attacking Dr. Fauci on a minute-by-minute basis, you should have been listening to him.

And since you morons were in direct defiance of health guidelines, you have no excuse not understanding why the virus is making a comeback. Surely along the way of screaming about your rights and liberty while describing those who pushed vaccines as tyrannical socialists, you understood what you were railing against.

You were told if you didn’t vaccinate, that you would help the coronavirus survive and even make a comeback. It’s now making a comeback as a new variant. You spent a year and a half making the pandemic a partisan issue and you have finally succeeded. It’s partisan and mostly killing Republicans. Good job, Jackass.

There is no guarantee you won’t catch the coronavirus after you’ve been vaccinated, but your odds of catching it are a lot lower. And if you do get it, your case will probably be very mild. Hospitals are being overburdened again by an influx of patients with over 90 percent of them being unvaccinated. Do you still not understand? Are you being willfully stupid? Two plus two equals…what? I know you can do this.

And the thing is, you did all this out of being selfish. You guys complained about the inconvenience of wearing masks while knowing full well that you don’t wear it to protect yourself, you wear it to protect others. But you were selfish and entitled. A lot of you wouldn’t get the vaccine because you felt it wouldn’t protect you, or you didn’t care if it would protect you. The best reason to be vaccinated isn’t to protect your own selfish stupid ass. The best reason to get the vaccine is to protect others. It’s to defeat this virus. The best weapon this virus has is ignorance. Your ignorance, hate, and selfishness kept it alive and brought it back.

And, you didn’t just refuse to cooperate and be a part of the solution. You attacked those who were being bigger than you. You attacked those who weren’t being selfish asshole babies. You attacked those who were helping the nation while you were trying to destroy it. You even made yourself out to be the victim, claiming society was ostracizing you because you’re an independent thinker, a freedom lover, or whatever stupid shit Tucker told you to say this week. Next, Tucker’s going to tell you that you’re being victimized by being blamed for bringing the virus back.

And when the face mask mandates were lifted, you took advantage of the hard work of others. You screamed that you shouldn’t have to prove you’ve been vaccinated so you could go into crowded places and spread the virus again.

The virus is coming back, forcing us to resume mask mandates and create vaccine mandates (like the one they have at Fox News in the building where Tucker screams against mask mandates). It’s coming back because you’re an asshole. This is all your fault.

Now do you understand?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Florida Hurdles


Cjones07272021

With all the talk about canceling the Olympics because of Covid, maybe we should cancel Florida?

Remember when Florida was the Republican success story? Florida’s stupid racist governor Ron DeSantis was loud and proud about disregarding CDC health guidelines and going after local governments for implementing social distancing and mask guidelines. Republicans loved to point him out in contrast to Andrew Cuomo and New York.

While New York had the highest numbers in the country at the state of the pandemic, its governor was the one official being straight with the American people at that time. We weren’t getting straight answers from Donald Trump telling us to use hydroxychloroquine and bleach…and we weren’t getting it from Ron DeSantis.

Florida leads the nation in new cases of coronavirus and its idiotic racist governor, Ron DeStupid, is promising there won’t be any lockdowns or mask mandates. He’s claiming his state will have a “normal” school year and there won’t be any requirements for students or teachers to wear face masks.

He said, “We’re not doing that in Florida. Ok? We need our kids to breathe. Is it really healthy for them to be muzzled and having their breathing obstructed all day long in school? I don’t think it is.” I don’t think DeSantis understands how face masks work.

Two things I don’t trust Republicans with are science and education. Who am I kidding? I don’t trust them with anything.

Face masks are not muzzles, like DeSantis wants for black voters, Black Lives Matter protesters, or anyone trying to teach critical race theory.

Also, DeSantis, you can breathe in a face mask. What you’re thinking of is being unable to breathe every time you shove your face up Donald Trump’s ass.

Dr. Frederick Southwick, an infectious disease expert in Gainesville said, “It’s past time for him (DeSantis) to quit his act that Florida won the pandemic.”

Dr. Bernard Ashby, a vascular cardiologist based in Miami and Florida State Lead for the Committee to Protect Health Care, said, “If DeSantis were as concerned about stopping Covid-19 spread as he was about coming up with these clever jabs at Dr. Fauci we might not be in this position.”

With the exception of Iowa and Nebraska, the top 25 states (and Washington, D.C.) in vaccination rates are states that voted for Joe Biden. Florida is currently at 26, yet it has the third-highest population in the nation.

I think I’d feel a lot safer in Tokyo than in Florida, but that’d also be in the case while we’re not in a pandemic. At the very least, you have a much lower chance of being a victim of a mass shooting in Japan than you do in DeSantis’ Florida.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Orbital Magnetized MAGA Pants


Cjones06142021

The first thing I thought when I heard Republican congressman Louie Gohmert ask an official of the United States Forest Service if we can combat climate change by changing the orbit of the Earth and the moon was, “Don’t they have their hands full raking forests being set on fire from Jewish space lasers?”

The second thing I thought was, “What a dumbass.”

The third thing I thought was, “Hey, a Republican believes in climate change.”

The fourth thing I thought was, “if he wants to change the Earth’s and moon’s orbits, why isn’t he talking to NASA instead of Smokey the Bear?”

The fifth thing I thought was, “He’s a werewolf.”

And finally I thought, “To combat climate change, a typical Republican would literally rather change the Earth’s orbit than modify his behavior or accept accountability.”

Republicans are stupid, yo. We have Marjorie Taylor Greene believing in Jewish Space lasers and a Satanic deep state eating children. We have Louie Gohmert competing with her for dumbest person in Congress. And then…we have a doctor (a real doctor?) who testified at a state-government hearing in Ohio that vaccines for the coronavirus will…wait for this…magnetize you.

So basically, these vaccines have tracking chips and magnets while also making you immune?

Dr. Sherri Tenpenny, an osteopathic physician, testified as an “expert witness” during a hearing about a bill that will weaken the state’s vaccination laws. She claims, “The shots magnetize people, causing metal objects from pennies to forks to stick to their bodies.” Seriously, I hope you’re washing all that silverware after trying to stick it to your person. Or better yet, buy new stuff to scoop your food with before sticking it in your mouth.

She also said, “I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the internet of people who have had these shots and now they’re magnetized. They can put a key on their forehead. It sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them and they can stick.” I have NOT seen the pictures “all over the internet” of people doing this stuff.

At that same hearing, someone claiming they were a “registered” nurse defended the doctor, said it’s true and she was an example that could prove it. She stuck a key to her chest and said, “Explain to me why the key sticks to me. It sticks to my neck too.” The key would not stick and kept falling down. You think she’d have tried it at home before the hearing. Anyway, that so-called nurse should definitely be “registered” by some government agency.

This whole conspiracy theory started with the idea Bill Gates was planting tracking chips into the vaccines when honestly, the only person he needs to worry about keeping track of is his wife suing him for divorce.

But, this magnet conspiracy theory has spread like…well, a conspiracy theory. There are even TikTok challenges of people sticking things to themselves. And trust me, if you see a video of someone sticking things to themselves, then it definitely has to be magnets with no other explanations being available like glue…or they’re just nasty by not practicing good hygiene. Also, if your bank and credit cards stop working, it’s probably not the magnets.

But, it’s gotten so crazy that even the Center for Disease Control had to issue a statement debunking the magnet bullshit. Do you remember when the CDC spent most of their time with serious matters? Pretty soon, they’ll probably have to issue a statement saying Louie Gohmert probably isn’t a werewolf. On the whole magnet shit, the CDC said, “No, you fucking fucknuts. Don’t make us come down there and slap you upside the head. Idiots.” No. That’s what they wanted to say.

What they actually said was, “No. Receiving a COVID-19 vaccine will not make you magnetic, including at the site of vaccination which is usually your arm, because the vaccine is free of metals such as iron, nickel, cobalt, lithium, and rare earth alloys, as well as any manufactured products such as microelectronics, electrodes, carbon nanotubes, and nanowire semiconductors that can create an electromagnetic field.” And, Louie Gohmert may or may not be a mentally challenged werewolf.

No, you can’t change the orbit of the Earth and Moon. No, vaccines don’t have tracking chips or magnets. And no, Donald Trump did not wear his pants backwards at last week’s hate rally. Wait, what?

It appears that Donald Trump wore backward pants at that North Carolina hate rally. You know, the one where he continued the lie he won the election and warned that people are trying to destroy the country who don’t have that right…like he does.

But, his pants just looked like they were on backwards. We know this now because the CDC issued a statement….No. We know this because several news outlets hired investigators to spend hours poring over photos and videos of Trump’s nether regions at the event. There’s gotta be a better way to make a living. When they were all done looking at Trump’s crotch, these experts issued their ruling that his pants were NOT on backwards. Why, they even found a zipper in the front.

So, if you’re like Louie Gohmert and currently in orbit around Donald Trump’s ass, that’s probably good to know.

The only explanation for the appearance his pants were worn backwards…which is way less crazy than Jewish space lasers, raking forests, changing orbits, baby-eating deep state, or that vaccines have magnets and tracking chips…is that Donald Trump was wearing a diaper.

Hey, sometimes you gotta poop. Sometimes, that time is while you’re screaming at the sky about winning an election you lost big time and ordering your white nationalist terrorist base to commit insurrection on your behalf. Traitors gotta poop too and sometimes, they like to do it while standing up or walking…or in Trump’s case, waddling.

I don’t believe in the Satanic baby-eating deep state, Jewish space lasers, changing orbits, or the magnets and tracking chips in vaccines…but I can buy into the belief, because he’s full of shit, Donald Trump wears a diaper…

…and Louie Gohmert may be a werewolf. A really, really stupid werewolf.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

The Usual MAGAts


Cjones06042021

One of my conservative colleagues (who recently blocked me on Facebook for asking why he was enabling racists and terrorists) has a new cartoon showing quotes from Dr. Anthony Fauci that appear to contradict. Of course, they’re all on the virus with, “Don’t wear a mask/wear a mask” being an example.”

I remember that. I remember when the scientists said don’t wear a mask and they thought it was more trouble than it was worth. Then as more facts came in, they said for the love of God, wear a face mask. Once, we thought we were mailing the virus to each other. But the thing is, the science doesn’t change. What changes is our knowledge.

Conservatives have been painting Dr. Fauci as a bad guy for over a year, not just because he’s the bearer of bad news but because Donald Trump told them to go after him. My colleague is not an idiot but he’s willing to present himself as one to appease the Trump base. That’s his audience. And like every conservative commentator who supports Donald Trump, he has a base of racists, cultists, and terrorists.

What Trumpers are focusing on is that Fauci once argued against the theory the virus was created artificially in a lab but today, he’s saying he’s not convinced it happened naturally.

In 2020, Fauci said, “If you look at the evolution of the virus in bats and what’s out there now, the scientific evidence is very, very strongly leaning toward this could not have been artificially or deliberately manipulated.”

Now leakers in China have revealed lab technicians were infected in that country back in 2019, Dr. Fauci is saying, “Certainly, the people who’ve investigated have said it likely was the emergence from an animal reservoir that then infected individuals, but, it could have been something else, and we need to find that out.”

Why is Dr. Fauci’s position moving? For one, he’s not a narcissist or a politician. He can move his position, which he’s doing based on science. He can change his mind and it’s his job to tell us what he believes to be true, not gaslight us if more information contradicts previous statements. This is something tribal people don’t understand. If you say one thing, you’re supposed to stick to it until the end of time…like wedding vows or loyalty to sports teams. Or at the very least, when you change your position, deny you ever said anything else. That’s the MAGAt way.

Another thing the MAGAts are trumping about, is that Trump claimed the virus was created in a lab. So now, they’re telling us Donald Trump was right all along. No. He was not. And even if he was, he was only lucky.

When Donald Trump claimed the virus was made in a lab, he did it to scapegoat China and to change the conversation from the horrible job he was doing and the fact he didn’t have a clue on how to deal with a pandemic. He said it without any information. He was spreading hate. He was implying it was made intentionally and sent here to destroy us. Dr. Fauci is not saying this.

In my colleague’s cartoon, he shows that Fauci once said the virus wasn’t dangerous to us…and then told us it was. This is true. But when Dr. Fauci told us not to worry about the virus, he also said it was something to take seriously and to keep our eye on. Of course, my colleague doesn’t quote Donald Trump when he said the virus will “magically disappear” or the multiple times he said it was nothing…or a “Democratic hoax.” He doesn’t point out the time Donald Trump suggested we should all be drinking bleach.

Donald Trump lied about the virus. He admitted to Bob Woodward he downplayed it after he was informed it was dangerous. He left the nation unprepared. His biggest response was to attack others and disregard the virus. Donald Trump let people die. The science points to that.

And in case you’re keeping score, Fauci never caught the virus. Donald Trump did while flouting safety precautions. Trumpers aren’t mentioning that detail.

If conservatives really believed Donald Trump was right all along about the virus, then they’d have been drinking bleach…and they wouldn’t be here to tell us Donald Trump was right about the virus.

Creative note: I feel kinda bad because not only have I done two cartoons with TVs in a row, but I’ve done two with bar scenes. I had this idea before I thought of the one I did yesterday. But, I really liked it and didn’t want to wait longer. Bars and TVs are my sinking ships and cliffs.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Pandemic Tan Lines


CNN05162021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

If you think you have already seen this cartoon, you’re probably right. Last Friday, cartoonist Clay Bennett of the Chattanooga Times Free Press did a cartoon of President Joe Biden with the mask tan line. It’s an excellent cartoon. Bennett has a Pulitzer Prize, has been a finalist for the award about 87 times, and has won or placed in every cartoon contest there is. He’s probably won state awards in states he’s never lived in. I think he even placed in a dog contest once for best groomed. Seriously, he may be the most awarded political cartoonist in the history of political cartooning. He’s good.

I drew my cartoon on Friday. The idea was submitted along with seven other ideas. My CNN cartoons run with the opinion newsletter on Sunday. In case you’re a Republican, that means I have a day to wait between drawing and publication of the cartoon. In that gap on Saturday, I saw Clay Bennett’s tan-line cartoon. I checked the time he posted his cartoon on Facebook Friday and compared it to when I sent my rough to my editor, just to cover my tracks. I sent my idea two hours earlier than Bennett had posted his. Trust me, I’m not psychic. Cartoonists can’t worry too much about this stuff because you can’t do much about it, but you still check just to cover your ass later.

Sometimes, you’re the cartoonist who gets there first and other times, you follow. Every cartoonist has been on both ends of it while always wanting to avoid the whole thing altogether. You want to draw a cartoon so original that no one else is capable of thinking of it. That’s what I try to do every day even though I don’t always succeed.

I first saw Bennett’s at GoComics early Saturday morning. I decided to send the link to my editor and let him decide if we should pull it or not. If mine had come out at the same time as Bennett’s, I wouldn’t have worried about it, but I had a whole day to wait behind his before my cartoon would be published. I also contacted Clay Bennett to let him know what was happening and to let him know I didn’t swipe from him, which I knew he would know, but I still wanted to give him the professional courtesy of a heads-up. He was very professional about it and said he actually expected someone else to come up with the same idea. It happens.

Still, I was irrationally angry at Clay Bennett for having the same idea as me even though he had no idea what I was drawing. I’m also mad at his mother for naming him Clay nearly a decade before I was born.

The opinion staff at CNN decided to keep my version since it did feature different characters and had a different message. You can argue that Bennett’s version triumphed a victory for President Biden while mine was documenting it as a national achievement, not just a personal one. We also decided to throw in the vaccination card which I now believe makes the cartoon stronger. Adding that detail a day later is the reason why the hand is so tiny, in case you were wondering about that Trumpian detail.

I wanted to say something about both cartoons because I know some readers will think I stole this from Clay Bennett. Hell, some readers will think he stole his from me even though he published first. So maybe writing this helps him out too. Trust me on this: I know I don’t steal ideas and I know Clay Bennett doesn’t either, at least not from other cartoonists. Good cartoonists only steal from themselves…and not very often.

Maybe next Friday I’ll call Clay Bennett and ask, “Hey, what are you doing?” just to make sure I’m not doing the same thing. And then I’ll call his mom.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Gas, Mask, Vax, Cheesecake


Cjones05172021

We have reached a milestone and a new independence by the new guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control. Earlier in the week, we were told by our president, Joe Biden, that we don’t have to wear face masks outdoors anymore. Now, you don’t have to wear face masks indoors either, but there’s a catch. You have to be vaccinated.

If you have been vaccinated, it doesn’t matter if everyone else in the room are mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging anti-vax hysteria-spreading troglodytes. You can still go without a mask. The odds of you catching Covid19 from the morons are very slim…unless you’re a New York Yankee.

But, because of those morons, we’re probably going to have to keep our masks on. Why? Because they’re fuckers and fuckers are always being fuckers. Everyone is supposed to be honest about whether or not they’re vaccinated. We’re using the honor system with fuckers who have no honor.

We’re going to have problems from the anti-vaxxers. These people don’t have principles. While they took a stand against vaccinations, wearing face masks, and social distancing, they’ll abandon those principles to claim they are vaccinated so they can go maskless inside an art gallery….OK, not an art gallery…inside a Cracker Barrel just because. That’ll stick it to the libs.

Or, they’ll go to Cracker Barrel, Cheesecake Factory, or Walmart and start demanding they don’t have to wear a mask since the vaccinated shoppers are allowed entry without wearing masks. They’ll cry, “You think you’re better than me?” Yes. I do think the vaccinated are better than you.

There are two ways to fix this.

First, require vaccine IDs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’ll be divisive and just piss off the mouth breathers even more, but fuck them. Still, there are backward red states, like Florida, that have outlawed requiring vaccine IDs. Why, why, why? It’s so stupid. It’s like they’re trying to keep the pandemic alive. Also, if IDs are required, you know fuckers will be selling them on the black market. Actually, they already are.

I’m all for vaccine IDs. They won’t infringe upon anyone’s constitutional rights like, say…voter IDs. Florida hasn’t banned those.

And since we’re not going to force everyone in the nation to get vaccinated, the only other solution is for businesses to require EVERYONE to continue wearing face masks. That way, the shops can say they’re not being selective, politicizing, punishing, or playing favorites.

Because of these mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging, sister-marrying anti-vaxxers, we can’t have nice things. Even though the president says those of us who are vaxxed can take off our masks, we still can’t go inside our banks and grocery stores without face masks or lick the faces of strangers at bus stations. And you know the people who are prevent us from returning to normal are the same assholes hoarding gas by pumping it into Hefty garbage bags.

Yay, we have reached a milestone and the pandemic is waning…no thanks to MAGAts. We got here despite them. I am fully vaccinated and I will now be going outside without wearing a face mask. I’m going to continue carrying it with me just in case I’m in an outdoor setting where going maskless may make someone feel uncomfortable. I’m going to continue wearing a face mask indoors. I’m going to continue social distancing. And most of all, I’m not going back to shaking hands.

If nothing else, all the safeguards in place to prevent catching Covid19 prevented most of us from catching the flu and common cold last year. Let’s keep that up.

In two weeks, I’ll be on a train. The last time I was on a train, it gave me Covid19. Face masks be required but even if they weren’t, I would be wearing my mask on this upcoming trip.

Again, because of MAGAts, we can’t have nice things and I don’t think any of them deserves any cheesecake.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tucker Abuse


Cjones05112021

Covid deniers, the anti-maskers, and the anti-vaxxers are playing the whining game over faux abuse for being flat Earthers. They claim they’re being scorned by society and assaulted for not getting vaccinated and for not wearing face masks. They argue it’s their body and their choice, overlooking that their choice affects other people’s bodies.

Numerous videos have been posted on social media of Kens and Karens wailing inside businesses that require them to wear face masks. These are the same people who champion the rights of a bakery to refuse to make gay wedding cakes. Why does a cake have to straight or gay? Why can’t there just be wedding cakes?

The truth is, nobody is being persecuted for not wearing a face mask or for refusing to be vaccinated. One of the fucknuts who comments on my videos equated discrimination against anti-vaxxers to the Holocaust. As if being seated in a germy section of a restaurant is the same as being ripped from your home, having all your possessions taken, put into forced labor, murdered by the millions, and having your body used to make soap. We already discriminate against smokers. Why can’t we seat anti-vaxxers into the shitty section of restaurant next to the bathrooms? And let’s make those bathrooms unisex just to piss them off further.

I am probably the biggest advocate for treating anti-vaxxers differently. I don’t see anyone on cable news arguing to discriminate against these Flat Earthers. Maybe one or two people believe they should be seated last on an airplane while I think we should make those fuckers walk. I’m willing to meet you half way on this and put them all on Greyhound.

There is no abuse or persecution of people for not wearing face masks. But, there is one guy on cable news advocating for attacking people who are wearing face masks. Of course, I’m talking about Tucker Carlson.

Tucker Carlson is a horrible person. He’s also an idiot. A couple weeks ago on his TV show that’s number one in ratings for Klansmen, he pushed the idea of bullying people for wearing face masks, calling anyone wearing a facemask “liberal zealots” and “neurotics.”

Tucker is fighting to prolong the pandemic. He’s continuing to politicize the pandemic and the effort to return to normal. Tucker is working against our nation. He’s advocating to broaden a public health crisis that’s killed over 580,000 people in this nation.

It gets worse. Tucker argued that making a child wear a face mask outside is child abuse. He said, “As for forcing children to wear masks outside, that should be illegal. Your response when you see children wearing masks as they play should be no different from your response to seeing someone beat a kid in Walmart. Call the police immediately, contact child protective services. Keep calling until someone arrives. What you’re looking at is abuse, it’s child abuse and you are morally obligated to attempt to prevent it.”

“If it’s your own children being abused, then act accordingly. Let’s say your kids school emailed you and announced that every day after lunch, your sixth-grader was going to get punched in the face by a teacher. How would you respond to that? That’s precisely how you should respond when they tell you that your kids have to wear masks on the soccer field. That is unacceptable, it is dangerous, and we should act like it because it is. But too few of us have responded like that, we have been shamefully passive in the face of all of this.”

Tucker is a bully and he’s advocating his viewers to be bullies. He wants everyone to be like Marjorie Taylor Greene and stalk children and scream at them. He wants you to traumatize children by calling the cops on their parents. It’ll be like that lady who called police because she saw black people having a picnic in a public park. And the worst part is, the police showed up.

There are probably police in North Carolina who will respond to a hateful idiot like Tucker over parents having their kids wear face masks. Personally, I think we should call the cops on parents who force their children into mullets.

Tucker also believes seeing someone outdoors in a face masks is like seeing a man “expose himself in public.” Fantasizing it was happening to him, Tucker said, “That’s disgusting, put it away please, we don’t do that here.” It seems he put a lot of thought into this naked man in public thing. Why is Tucker obsessed with naked men? It’s not like seeing a woman expose herself in public? Does Tucker count penises to fall asleep? Live on TV, he was fantasizing about naked men. Go figure.

Tucker told his viewers to walk up to people wearing a mask outside, not just over their children wearing one, and say, “Your mask is making me uncomfortable.” Here’s a fact: If I’m wearing a mask outdoors, the only thing it has to do with you is that it’s keeping you safe.

If you’re outside away from people or in a small group, the CDC says you can take your mask off. But if you’re uncomfortable with that, go ahead and wear your face mask. Why should anyone care? If my face mask is making you uncomfortable, then does that give me the right to tell you that your MAGA shirt is making me uncomfortable? Can I tell assholes toting guns around in public they’re making me uncomfortable? What about an asshole in a car with his windows down playing Toby Keith? Can I scream at that guy?

Sure, if a guy is outside with his penis exposed and he’s shaking it at you, you have a right to be uncomfortable. But it’s not the same thing as wearing a face mask.

I’m not in favor of changing health policy based on what makes Tucker Carlson comfortable. That’s how it is with these white conservative men who are selfish. It’s all about what makes them comfortable. It also applies to when their white privilege is threatened. They championed Kyle Rittenhouse driving across state lines because protesting against police violence made them uncomfortable. Donald Trump tear-gassed a crowd outside the White House for a photo-op and because they made him uncomfortable. Several states are now crafting legislation making it legal to run over protesters for making you uncomfortable.

Tucker equated wearing a face mask to punching a child in the face. Hmmmm. I’m thinking Tucker has never actually been punched in the face and that makes me very sad. How is it possible that a fucker like Tucker has never been punched in the face? How do you look like THIS and never get punched in the face? Oh yeah, Swiss boarding schools and white privilege. Perhaps he should be punched in the face just so he knows how wrong his comparison of face punches and face masks is. Punching Tucker Carlson in the face would actually be a public service since he has a nightly show where he attempts to provide Nazis with “information.” If he understands that being punched in the face is nothing like wearing a face mask, that would be a good thing for Fox News viewers and even Tucker. He might even thank you. Tucker Carlson needs a punch in the face. Society demands it. Can we get #PunchTuckerCarlsonInTheFace trending?

So, any volunteers to educate Tucker and punch him in the face?

Creative note: Yes, those are cicadas in the cartoon. And where are they? It’s May 8 and they’re not here yet. If I don’t get some cicadas soon, I’m going to demand a cicada refund.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: