Trump Virus

Corona Bingo


cjones10112020

Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Kellyanne Conway, Chris Christie, Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Miller, Thom Tillis, Mike Lee, Ron Johnson, Hope Hicks, Nicholas Luna, Chad Gilmartin, Karoline Leavitt, Bill Stepien, and Ronna McDaniel (who even had “rona” in her name) are all people working in the White House, or close to it, who have tested positive for the coronavirus… so far.

There are nations that aren’t having as many outbreaks a day as this White House has had.

Many of these people have worked overtime to downplay the virus and deny it was as bad as it is. They worked hard to mislead the public. They over-exerted themselves to lie to America. And if they didn’t do that, then they worked for an administration that did. They are complicit.

Let’s not say any of them deserve it, but they each truly did ask for it.

A few months ago, Kellyanne Conway demanded a reporter to produce the name of a White House staffer who claimed people in the administration were calling it the “China Virus.” She said it was a racist term and nobody in that White House would ever use such an ugly description. Scratch that. Soon, Donald Trump was calling it the “China Virus” and Kellyanne, when asked to denounce that, said, “Look over there! It’s an aardvark!” And while the reporters were looking, she took off.

But many people who have caught the virus from the Trump team that downplayed it and refused to exercise the safety guidelines from their own Coronavirus Task Force, did not ask for it. A lot of people did not ask for mouth breathers to breathe on them.

While Kellyanne asked for it, her daughter didn’t. It was bad enough that Kellyanne Conway spent the past four years talking about “alternative facts” and lying for a corrupt administration. But who knew she was this vile? She refused to practice safety so she could stay in line and pander to a stupid and hateful president. She exposed herself to catch the coronavirus. Now, her lying and pandering to the worst president in world history has threatened the lives of her children. Her 15-year-old daughter, TikTok sensation Claudia, has now caught it.

In a video, Claudia claimed her mother lied to her about testing negative. Then she posted a new video saying she “guessed” she had misinterpreted her mom and that Kellyanne said she tested three times, twice positive, and never lied about it. The best thing about this is, she was taping a new TikTok video with her mom in the room who said, “You lied about your fucking mother…about covid.”

I was wrong. The best part about that is at the end her sentence, Kellyanne asked, “You’re taping again…”

Isn’t it delicious irony that Kellyanne is upset her daughter “lied” about covid? If only Kellyanne could hold her boss, the president (sic) of the United States, to the same standards and accountability as she holds her 15-year-old daughter.

Kellyanne also left her position at the White House to spend more time breathing on her family.

Others who did not ask for the virus from the White House are the three journalists who Kayleigh McEnany helped catch it.

This White House refused to create a safe environment for its employees. They carried out rallies. They even carried out huge, mask-less events on the White House lawn which is believed to have been the spark for this latest outbreak. After sharing it with the world, this administration refused to contact those in danger. They even tried to hide the outbreak.

The administration didn’t want to alert the press that Hope Hicks had acquired it. Would they have still hidden it after Trump tested positive? How would they have explained all the people working from home? What would they have said after journalists covering the White House started catching it?

Now, White House adviser and hate speech writer Stephen Miller has caught it. He was in that group with Hope Hicks that leaped into Marine One with Donald Trump last Wednesday. Another in that group was Jared Kushner.

If you had Stephen Miller on your bingo card, congratulations. Now, all with Jared are keeping an eye on him.

I’m sorry. Is it too soon to mock these people for catching a deadly virus? Not if issuing a commemorative coin celebrating Donald Trump defeating the virus, before he’s defeated the virus, isn’t too soon.

But hey, if you are one of those White House employees who have caught the virus because of Donald Trump’s failures, don’t worry. According to Donald Trump, it’s no worse than the flu. It’s not that bad. You can’t let it “dominate your life.”

In fact, you’re probably a winner. I mean, Donald Trump isn’t a loser, right? It’s not like everything he touches turns to shit, right? And he touched you, right?

As Hans Landa said in Inglourious Basterds, “Ooh. That’s a bingo.”

Creative note: Laura, one of my cartoon proofers, deserves a shout-out for this. While proofing, she asked if the bingo balls were supposed to look like the coronavirus. They weren’t but I thought it was an excellent idea. Thanks, Laura.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Failed Hoax


CNN10042020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

There was hope that Donald Trump having the coronavirus would change his messaging of the pandemic…and more importantly, change how his base behaves with it.

Nope.

Donald Trump said he went to the “school of covid.” He fully understood it now…then tweeted he may be immune to it, despite testing positive and going to the hospital for three nights. He may have gone to the “real school,” but like that Ivy League school he got into, he might want to get someone else to take his tests.

If Donald Trump fully understands the coronavirus, then he fully doesn’t give a rat’s flying ass about the danger he’s posing to others. He risked lives with his joyride outside the hospital. He risked lives with his photo-ops inside the hospital. He risked lives leaving the hospital early and returning to the White House for more photo-ops and to immediately make a campaign video. Of course, all without a mask.

Soon after arriving back to the White House, he came out on the balcony, removed his face mask, labored to breathe, then gave a salute. Who was he saluting? The people on the sidewalk facing the south lawn are too far away to tell he’s saluting. So, what the hell? Go to bed, you orange goon and make sure they burn the sheets in the morning, you contagious rancid sack of walking pumpkin shi…

Anyway, now, his base is using his return to the White House to claim the illness isn’t that bad. Or, that it’s really bad but this is just how incredibly strong Donald Trump is. What a superhero. What a super spreader. How many people in the Trump orbit have tested positive now? How many will?

Trump was euphoric tweeting he feels better now than he has in the past 20 years…and his base is claiming this is “owning the libs.” Donald Trump says we shouldn’t be “scared of the virus” or let it “dominate our lives.” It’s a message to his base.

Maybe Donald Trump should message to his base that they won’t receive the same treatment he has. They won’t be placed in Walter Reed hospital. They won’t receive experimental medical treatment. They won’t receive non-stop pampering and medical attention by the world’s top doctors. They won’t have doctors also engaging in spin doctoring. They won’t have steroids to make them feel better than they did 20 years ago.

What Donald Trump needs to message to his base is to wash their hands, practice social distancing, and wear their damn mask.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona Joyride


cjones10102020

Everything Donald Trump and his goons have said about the coronavirus has been wrong.

Last February, probably as part of her audition for the job of White House Spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany said, “We will not see diseases like the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, and isn’t that refreshing when contrasting it with the awful presidency of President Obama?”

SpokesBarbie has excelled at her job of lying to the American public, but it’s really hard to gaslight that the virus hasn’t “come here” when you have the fucking virus. Also, the coronavirus did NOT come here during President Obama’s two terms and the majority of terrorists in the United States make up a part of Donald Trump’s base. Fact.

Last week, after Hope Hicks tested positive, Kayleigh went ahead and gave a press briefing. She claims she wasn’t aware of Hicks’ positive test for the virus, but we know Kayleigh lies. Now, three journalists who cover the White House tested positive for the virus in addition to two of Kayleigh’s staffers.

Just like Donald Trump, who went ahead and attended a New Jersey fundraiser after knowing Hope Hicks had tested positive and after being in her presence, Kayleigh has disregarded the safety of others in favor of selfishness, arrogance, and stupidity.

Donald Trump and his White House have no regard for anyone’s safety. They and Trump’s doctors refuse to tell us when Donald Trump last tested negative. For all we know, he went to that fundraiser after testing positive. For all we know, he went to last week’s debate after testing positive or at least knowing he should be in quarantine.

In fact, everyone in the White House and all who attended the super spreader event that was the Rose Garden ceremony for Amy Coney Barrett should be locked up in a bubble. They should all be in quarantine. Jared, Ivanka, and even the vice president, that ass-kissing sycophant who sleeps with a woman he calls “Mother,” should be in quarantine.

At the debate, Melania Trump, who now has the virus, and the Trump offsprings, Ivanka, Don Jr, Eric, and Tiffany, all arrogantly refused to wear masks. They arrived to the debate conveniently too late to be tested. They were offered face masks, which they refused. They should not have been offered face masks. They should have been kicked out promptly on their spoiled trust-fund baby asses.

McEnany continued to talk to the press after Trump’s positive diagnosis. She claimed it was safe because she had tested negative and not wearing a mask was her personal choice. I’m not saying she deserved to catch the virus, but let’s say catching it was her “personal choice.”

And if Mark Meadows, who also spoke to the press catches it, it’ll be the chief-of-staff’s personal choice. If the Trump kids catch it, it’ll be their personal choice too.

It was Chris Christie’s personal choice. Christie once said there is an acceptable number of deaths for the pandemic. Now, not wanting to be one of those “acceptable deaths,” has checked himself into a hospital after testing positive.

The Trump administration is still disregarding the safety of others. There has been no contact tracing from the Rose Garden super spreader event. They did not contact the Biden Campaign about the positive tests beforehand. They didn’t contact reporters after Wednesday’s press briefing. The New Jersey governor’s office is frustrated in that for their contact tracing for the Trump fundraiser at Donald Trump’s shitty golf resort (where previously, the biggest worry was acquiring bedbugs), the Republicans and Trump Campaign have only given them a list of names of the over 200 who attended the potential super spreader event. They’re not providing contact information.

And Donald Trump hasn’t just disregarded his own safety (out of stupidity) but also that of those who protect and serve him. He put the lives of Secret Service agents in jeopardy for his Sunday joyride so his supporters could see him cruising around outside Walter Reed hospital for a minute. He put their lives in danger again by going back to the White House last night. He’s putting the lives of everyone who works in the White House in danger. A lot of those workers are non-political and serve the president of the United States, no matter who he is or from which party.

Donald Trump has put appearance ahead of safety. Donald Trump’s first job is to protect the American people. With the infected including himself, Hope Hicks, Kayleigh McEnany, Chris Christie, Trump campaign manager Bill Stepien, Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel, Kellyanne Conway, three Republican senators, Mike Lee of Utah, Thom Tillis of North Carolina, and Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson, Trump’s personal assistant Nick Luna, and University of Notre Dame President John Jenkins, Donald Trump can’t protect those closest to him. Donald Trump failed to protect himself.

And Kayleigh McEnany, who has spent the past eight months lying and spreading misinformation about the virus, who promised on her first day that she’d never lie to us, and who said Donald Trump would never allow the virus to enter this country, has now had the virus enter her. Her Dear Leader, who she professed so much bullshit faith in, failed to protect her.

Donald Trump refused to protect the nation from the virus. Instead, he spread false information and waged a war against face masks and those who were fighting the virus. He touted fake remedies like Hydroxychlorquine and told us time and time again it’s what was needed to fight the virus…while not using it himself after he caught the virus.

Did Donald Trump deserve to catch the virus? Kinda. He did ask for it. He challenged it. One thing he deserves is being behind Joe Biden 16 points in the latest poll.

And Donald Trump, for failing to protect this nation leading to over 210,000 deaths, deserves to be thrown out in November. Afterward, Donald Trump deserves to continue to receive the best medical care our government can offer him…in prison.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Virtually Nobody


cjones10072020

Today, my friend Mike Petersen, who does a website and feature called “Cartoon of the Day,” used my cartoon from yesterday and said I was “piling on.” I don’t take issue with that, but that really wasn’t my intention.

For me, political cartoons should point out the obvious. Donald Trump told racist goons to “stand by.” In my cartoon, that goon is Clorox Man, who I created some time ago to replace Kool-Aid Man. I’m taking the same route for today’s cartoon. Trump said the coronavirus “affects virtually nobody.” Right now, the president of the United States is in Walter Reed Medical Center which is not where one goes when they’re unaffected by the coronavirus.

Donald Trump is in what they call the “Presidential Suite” at the military hospital in Bethesda. This is named after the president, not Donald Trump. But now, we should definitely call the coronavirus the “Trump Virus.” He has his name all over it. Now, it’s all up inside him.

If people see me as piling on, so be it. What’s worse than piling on is the inability of being humble by the Trump cult. Right now, these people should be eating some humble pie, eating crow, admitting they were wrong and that their actions endangered their health and lives, those of their families, and the entire nation. They need to eat some shit.

Eric Trump sent out a tweet about praying for his daddy. That’s nice. But at the debate, Eric refused to wear a mask. In fact, officials in Cleveland even offered him and his siblings, Donald Jr, Tiffany, Ivanka, and their wives and girlfriends, masks. Even Melania refused to mask up. And the thing is, the entire team of arrogant, selfish, entitled slobs showed up late. It was too late to be tested for the virus as everyone was supposed to be who attended the event. Donald Trump, who may have known he was likely to test positive, was not tested. They refused to be mature or responsible. They need to eat some shit.

This is selfishness and arrogance. But it gets worse.

After being in contact with the Biden Campaign, the Trump Campaign did NOT inform them of the danger. There was no courtesy or responsibility extended by Donald Trump, who of course has famously said, “I take no responsibility.”

Then, after learning White House aide Hope Hicks had tested positive and being on the same helicopter and plane as she was, Donald Trump still flew off to New Jersey for a fundraiser. An indoor fundraiser. Thursday, before Trump tested positive, but knowing he was in danger, White House Spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany held a press briefing without informing the press. Now, three journalists have tested positive. Kayleigh needs to eat some shit.

Yesterday, Chief of Staff Mark Meadows was out talking to reporters without a mask saying it’s OK because he tested negative. This is still being selfish and arrogant. They’re still ignoring science because if you’ve been paying attention, he can still test positive tomorrow. Mark Meadows needs to eat some shit.

And they’re testing positive. So far, three Republicans senators have tested positive. Thom Tillis of North Carolina, Mike Lee of Utah, and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin. Do you know what all three of them need to eat? Shit.

Others in the Trump orbit of doom have also tested positive such as the First Lady, Melania, Kellyanne Conway (who was in the debate prep), Campaign Manager Bill Stepien, and others. You can expect more positives throughout the next few days. Does the Trump Virus affect one’s appetite because Melania, Bill, and most of all, Kellyanne need to eat….wait for it….SHIT!!!!

Yesterday, a fucknut cartoonist drew two cartoons defending Trump. In the first, Trump is still raring to debate despite having the virus. You know, because he’s a tough guy. In the second, he’s going after Nancy Pelosi for pointing out that Trump should have exercised more caution. The Trump cult doesn’t handle reality very well and we’re still not seeing anything resembling humble from them. Does Uber Eats deliver shit?

Eric wants us to pray for his dad. For the past eight months, these assholes have been real assholes about this. The White House has manipulated data. The president (sic) has demanded schools to reopen putting your children’s lives in danger. Jared thought this would play very well politically by hitting the blue states hardest. They made attempts to outbid states’ purchases of medical equipment, driving up costs. They withheld medical equipment with Jared saying, “It’s ours, not yours.” Trump tweeted, “Liberate Michigan,” sending his goons to storm state capitals. He encouraged bikers to gather in Sturgis. He continued to hold hate rallies without any safety precautions. In fact, in Tulsa, they removed stickers on seats that were encouraging social distancing. They waged a political war against wearing face masks. They made the masks about individual liberty and freedom. They promoted fake treatment like Hydroxychloroquine and bleach. Donald Trump promoted fake treatment from a doctor who warns of demon sperm. Donald Trump directed his goons to engage in a smear campaign against Dr. Fauci. The administration politicized the CDC. Even inside the White House, the wearing of face masks has been discouraged. And even after Donald Trump’s friend and supporter, Herman Cain, died, they refused to take it seriously. Every single Trump cultist needs to eat a big, huge pile of steaming shit.

A lot of liberals think Donald Trump is faking this. Trust me. They don’t want to eat all this shit.

There is hope. Yesterday afternoon, after Trump was helicoptered from the South Lawn to Walter Reed, a group of White House goons was seen gathered with nearly all of them wearing face masks. Though, they still were not practicing social distancing.

The president’s main job is to protect the people of the United States. Donald Trump has said this himself on many occasions. To do this, the president, even Donald Trump, must protect himself. His life doesn’t belong to just him and his family right now. He has an obligation to the nation. Donald Trump refused to protect the presidency. Take care of his citizens? Take care of his own people? Donald Trump, who has gathered his followers into tight rallies, failed to even take care of himself.

The Trump cult does not do well with facts, even when their lives depend on it. It’s a fact that most things Donald Trump says is wrong. He said the corona…er, Trump Virus “affects virtually nobody.”

He was wrong. If you don’t believe me, ask his doctor.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

A Few Trumpy Covid Roughs


I have drawn seven ideas on Donald Trump acquiring the Trump Virus. I published one early this morning. I’m going to save another for this weekend (I may change my mind), and I’m drawing one for CNN. That leave four I can share with you now.

Check ’em out, Babies.

CNNrough974

This is how a rough works sometimes. I just give the idea of what I want. If I was to draw this cartoon, there would be more Trump quotes downplaying the virus.

CNNrough969

This was the first idea I had. I had around 1:00 A.M. I knew I could do better. But ya’ know what? I wouldn’t be surprised if another cartoonist does this cartoon.

CNNrough971

I’ve seen a few conservative whakamolies say Democrats are rejoicing over this and how heartless they are. True. A few are…but keep in mind, these same conservatives were laughing at the people Kyle Rittenhouse shot and said they “had it coming.” But if anyone should be laughing at Trump, it’s the scientists. Donald Trump said, “Science doesn’t know what’s going on.” Science knows Donald Trump has the coronavirus.

CNNrough972

I am a Jaws fan. A huge Jaws fan actually. And if there’s one thing I can’t figure out is why the mayor was still mayor in Jaws 2.

CNNrough975

Of course I wasn’t going to do this, especially with the F word. But sometimes, I like to fuck with my editors.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Positive Trump


cjones10062020

Donald Trump and Melania have tested positive for the Trump virus.

Donald Trump played down the virus. He admitted as such. He floated bogus cures and treatments. He’s called it the “China Virus” and the “Wuhan Virus.” He’s scolded and punished his scientists for doing their jobs. He’s hired lackeys and yes men to direct the response. He politicized it against blue states. He mocked people for wearing masks. He continued to hold rallies during the pandemic. He encouraged states, churches, and schools to open. He asked about curing people with bleach.

Ten days ago, Trump said, “This affects virtually nobody.” I guess the president of the United States is a nobody.

Donald Trump never took it seriously. He’s going to take it seriously now. White House advisor Hope Hicks was the first to test positive so the belief is Donald Trump caught it from her. But it’s possible she caught it from him.

The White House knew on Thursday that Donald Trump was in contact with someone who tested positive. Trump had been at a rally the night before. Even after knowing, he went to a fundraiser in New Jersey. Spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany was aware of this and still held a briefing without warning reporters. The White House may be a super spreader environment. The White House probably knew for hours Trump had tested positive.

When asked weeks ago about the safety at his rallies, Trump said he’ll be OK because he was a good distance from his cult in attendance. According to reports, he thought the virus was a good thing in that it would keep him from shaking hands with “disgusting people.” Now, everyone who has attended his rallies can take comfort they were kept a good distance away from the disgusting president.

I don’t wish Donald Trump harm. I’m not even going to say he deserved this. Honestly, it shouldn’t surprise anyone he caught it with the way he approached it. He exercised zero caution. Protect America? He couldn’t protect himself. He couldn’t protect his family. Donald Trump testing positive isn’t as much karma as it was inevitable.

What will happen now? There are only a little more than 30 days left before the election. With Trump in quarantine for at least 14 days, he can’t campaign. He may not even be able to do the duties of president. How will we even notice? I expect him to demand a delay to the election (he can’t get one).

Will this pause the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett? Will Joe Biden pause his campaign out of respect? Will Joe Biden test positive because he caught it from Trump? Will Jared, Ivanka, Stephen Miller, Mitch McConnell, Mark Meadows, and Mike Pence all test positive? Trump was yelling for football to resume. Now, the debates may be canceled.

It’s no longer a hoax. Trump and his sycophants can no longer tout Hydroxychlorquine because Trump was taking it.

Experts say if Donald Trump had taken this more seriously, fewer people in our nation would have caught it. Fewer people would have died. If Donald Trump had taken seriously, Donald Trump may not have the Trump virus today.

That, my friends, is irony.

Now, we can definitely call this the “Trump Virus.”

Creative note: I was watching news all night. I usually do that. I did flip over to the football game after getting my fill of Melania’s “fuck Christmas” tapes. But then the news hit about Hope Hicks. I didn’t know we’d get a result on Trump tonight, and I was going to bed at 1:00 a.m. I had just brushed my teeth, stripped down, was climbing into bed with the remote in my hand, about to turn off the TV and then CNN broke it. I climbed back out and went back to work.

I actually had a cartoon prepped (roughed out, lettered) for the morning. It’s now on the back burner.

The positive of being the first cartoonist to cover this (probably first) is that my clients will have it in their inbox when they wake up. The negative is that I did it so late, nobody was up for me to bounce it off of. My proofers were/are still asleep so I hope there are no typos.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Blue State, Red State, Trump State, Dead State


cjones09202020

This morning, a friend of mine, Rob Southall, posted, “If you take away the blue states, nobody died on 9/11.” And you know if Donald Trump replaced FDR, we wouldn’t have reacted to Japan bombing Pearl Harbor since it was in a blue state.

One of my Trump-supporting Facebook “friends” posted a long, boring, ridiculous diatribe written by someone else who wasn’t credited, but it argued how Donald Trump wasn’t divisive. Yes, I wrote that correctly. It argued it wasn’t Donald Trump who is divisive. These are the same people who supported the birther theory, called President Obama a terrorist, a monkey, questioned his religion, and called his wife a man. But on the same day my Trump-cultist “friend” posted that, Donald Trump made comments that indicated to him, blue states don’t count.

Donald Trump said, “Blue states had tremendous death rates. If you take the blue states out, we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at.”

Late night host Seth Myers said, “I’m sure Trump’s not our first sociopath president, but he’s definitely the first one who’s open about it.”

And as usual, Donald Trump is wrong. If all our red states, states that voted for Donald Trump, and formed a nation, that red state nation would be in the top ten internationally of deaths from the coronavirus in developed nations…excuse me…the TRUMP virus. Of course, you have to believe Mississippi, Arkansas, Kentucky, and West Virginia are developed.

There are more deaths in blue states than red. One reason for that is…more people live there. Case in point, the states that voted blue outnumbered the people in red states.

We are still one nation even though Donald Trump fails to act that way as president. Donald Trump implied that deaths in blue states don’t matter as much to him, since they didn’t vote for him. He’s been trying to claim success for his horrible handling and lying over the Trump virus while also blaming governors of blue states for his failures. He even blamed Joe Biden, who doesn’t hold any position in the government, for not enacting a mask mandate. Seriously. He also blamed President Obama for not developing a vaccine for the Trump virus even though it didn’t exist during his two terms.

There have also been claims that Jared Kushner, Donald Trump’s idiot son-in-law who is an adviser, planned to use deaths in blue states politically, to help Trump’s reelection. He thought it would be smart politics to let Americans die. Whether that’s true or not, a lot of Americans died on Donald Trump’s watch. And when people died from this virus, whether they were in a blue state or a red state, they died under Donald Trump’s watch.

There was even a plan to mail five face masks to every American family but someone blocked that. Someone in the White House wanted Americans to die.

Donald Trump’s comments perfectly illustrates why I will never call him “President” Trump. It’s because he doesn’t want to be my president. He only wants to be president of his base. A president is supposed to be president of the entire nation and not just those Yee-Haw motherfuckers that voted for him. As it is now, Donald Trump’s entire reelection campaign is focused on the electoral college and not the popular vote. Donald Trump is only appealing to that Yee-Haw base and plans to win without the popular vote…again.

And in case you’re keeping track, the Republican Party has only won the popular vote for president ONCE since 1988. In case you’re a Republican, that was over 30 years ago.

Former White House aides have been coming out over the past few weeks saying Donald Trump only cares about his reelection. He doesn’t care about the Trump virus. He doesn’t care if you die, especially if you live in a blue state. There will be more former aides coming out in the coming weeks.

Seth Myers also said Orange Mussolini’s blue states comment was the most honest articulation of Trump’s beliefs. “If you can’t empower or enrich him personally, then he doesn’t care about you,” which makes the point the former White House aides are making.

Seth also said, “As someone who lives in one of those states and knows people affected by this virus, I would just like to say, go fuck yourself you rotting, soulless business ham.”

Yeah. What Seth said.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Evil Twin Trump


White House spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany stood before the press corps and said Donald Trump never downplayed the coronavirus. Yet, in Bob Woodward’s recordings, Trump said, “I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down.”

Sean Hannity said it wasn’t Donald Trump who downplayed the virus. It was Joe Biden. Yet, in those recordings, it was Donald Trump, NOT Joe Biden, saying, “I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down.”

Sean Hannity also compared Donald Trump to President Franklin Delano Roosevelt by saying, “During World War II, with the country on the brink, FDR proclaimed: ‘We have nothing to fear but fear itself.’ Did the media attack him? Of course not.” Showing just how much cultists suck at history, FDR made that quote during his first inauguration in 1933 which was nearly a decade before World War II. But I digress.

During a town hall a couple nights ago, that Laura Ingraham described as an “ambush” because Trump wasn’t asked softball Fox News type questions like, “Why are you so great and terrific smelling?”, Donald Trump was asked why he downplayed the virus. He said he never downplayed the virus and in fact, he “up-played” the virus. But that’s really odd because, on that Woodward recording, Trump is heard saying…wait for it…””I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down.”

I have a difficult time believing all three of them, McEnany, Hannity, and Trump, who is the president (sic) of the United States of America, would all collectively lie to us (that’s sarcasm just in case I’m not laying it on thick enough). So, what’s the explanation for hearing Donald Trump say on a recording, “I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down,” yet it not being him saying it?

There has to be an explanation. Why, it must have been…Donald Trump’s evil twin, Damien Trump.

I mean, it all makes sense now. No president in today’s world could ever be so racist to say racist stuff like, “Send them back,” Mexicans are “rapists and murderers,” and “shithole countries,” or call someone “Pocahontas,” or retweet Nazis and “white power.”

No president could be so stupid to say stupid shit like, “raking forests,” or “windmill cancer,” or support Qanon conspiracy theories.

No genuine president would ever weaponize the Justice Department and have it run by a goon like William Barr.

No law-and-order president would ever ask a foreign nation to help with his political campaign.

No president would be so petty to feud with Goldstar families, celebrities…children.

No president would so willingly attack his predecessor and accuse him of “spying on his campaign” and committing treason.

No president who respects the Constitution would try to host summits at his golf resorts, attempt to get golf tournaments at those resorts, ignore the emolument clause, or hold the Republican National Convention on the White House lawn. No lawful president would ever suggest serving three terms.

No American president would have such praise and boot-licking worship for a Russian president. No president would say he prefers dictators over democratically-elected leaders. No American president would trust a dictator over his own intelligence agencies. No American president would ignore Vladimir Putin placing bounties on the heads of American troops.

No American president would hold service members in disdain and refer to them as “suckers” and “losers.”

No president would start his administration lying about crowd sizes. No president would have such disrespect for his constituents by telling over 22,000 lies within four years.

No president would refuse to be president for states that didn’t vote for him. No president would place the lives of Americans over his own self interest.

No American president, unless he was insane, would do the things I’ve listed above, so it must be the evil twin theory. That has to be it. Donald Trump has an evil twin and he’s been working on Making America Worse Again from day one. Except, there’s just one problem with my theory.

If Donald Trump had a twin, I’m pretty sure he’d be the evil one.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Cheshire President


CNN09132020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

I’ll be honest. I did not know how drawing Trump as a cat would turn out. The designer for the newsletter complimented me on it and I told her I was surprised it turned out as well as it did.

I say I don’t like drawing people as animals or even inanimate objects. I don’t like drawing a face on planets…shit like that. It’s so…Disney. There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m not better than the cartoonists who do it…it’s just not my thing. Then I think…but sometimes it is my thing. I really enjoyed drawing Mike Pence as a worm and I liked the cartoon from the last batch of roughs I posted where Stephen Miller and Rudy Giuliani are flapping bat goon things.

Another thing I had to do with this cartoon was go back and re-familiarize myself with Alice in Wonderland…or if I was ever that familiar with it to begin with. The most I know about Alice in Wonderland is from the video for Tom Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More” and Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit.”

Jared Kushner, Donald Trump’s idiot son-in-law who is one of his official advisers with no business being a White House adviser, told Bob Woodward that to understand Trump, read Alice in Wonderland. Kush, being all in on the sycophant thing, thinks that’s actually a great metaphor. As in, it doesn’t matter which path you take if you don’t know where you want to go. But maybe it really is a perfect metaphor more for the Trump supporters.

Trump’s supporters no longer have any ideals, ethics, integrity, or principles. They don’t really care about policy except for white nationalism stuff. Their biggest cause is Trump. The Republican Party is now a cult. So, it doesn’t matter what path you take as long as you take it with Donald Trump.

But don’t worry. That path is the racist path.

The path with Donald Trump is one of an alternate reality. Have you ever heard a Trump cultist defend or support Trump without lying? No, you haven’t.

Churchill, FDR…Trump?


cjones09162020

If you want to be compared to great people, then do great things. If you do that, then other people will compare you to great people and you won’t have to do it yourself.

That’s exactly why Donald Trump has to compare himself to greatness…because nobody else will. At it stands now, some of the most popular nicknames for Trump are Hair Fuhrer, Twitler, and Il Douchey.

After it was revealed Donald Trump intentionally downplayed the coronavirus and continued lying to the public, he defended himself by saying he didn’t want people to panic. Some of his own people, like spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany, said he didn’t downplay it while he’s on the Woodward recording literally saying he was likes downplaying it and will continue to do so.

Donald Trump is arguing that “downplaying” the dangers of the virus, like telling people it was less dangerous than the flu even though he knew that was a huge and dangerous lie, was real leadership. Why, it was leadership on the scale of Winston Churchill and Franklin Delano Roosevelt during World War II.

Donald Trump made the argument, that he was protecting the public, ironically at a Trump rally which always turns out to be covid parties. Donald Trump will kill you, like he killed Herman Cain, to stay in power.

What Donald Trump is doing is trying to absolve himself of culpability in the death of over 190,000 Americans. Another great leader, President Teddy Roosevelt, said, “The buck stops here.” With Trump, the buck is pushed onto someone else to pay.

Barking at his hate rally like he tends to do, Trump compared himself to the greatness of Churchill and FDR, while lying. The thing is, those two leaders leveled with their people.

Sure, when at war, you don’t tell the public everything, but Americans knew Japan caused huge damage at Pearl Harbor and thousands of sailors were dead. The English knew of the huge retreat at Dunkirk and there was no hiding the Blitz, the German bombing campaign of England.

Comparing himself to Churchill, the barking lunatic said, “We have to be calm. We don’t want to be crazed lunatics. … When Hitler was bombing London, Churchill, a great leader, would oftentimes go to a roof in London and speak. And he always spoke with calmness.”

No. Churchill did observe the bombings from a rooftop at times, but he never gave a speech during them. Hey, can everybody ignore the bombings for a minute and listen to what I have to say? I assure you, it’ll be calm and eloquent. Also, “crazed lunatics?” What sort of lunatics should we be?

If you want a real comparison between Churchill and Twitler, I mean Trump…Churchill went to the rooftops while Nazis were dropping bombs on his city. When there were loud protesters outside the White House, Donald Trump hid in the bunker. Later he said he was only “inspecting” it, which is what a teenage boy says when he gets caught doing you know what in the shower.

In 1940, Churchill told his people, “”We have before us many, many long months of struggle and suffering.” Donald Trump told us the virus would disappear by April and “anyone who needs a test gets a test.” Donald Trump called it a “Democratic hoax.” Donald Trump said it wasn’t worse than the flu. Donald Trump told us kids are “virtually immune.” Donald Trump told us to drink bleach.

Instead of telling us we have “many long months of struggle and suffering,” Trump told us to go shopping, go to church, go to school, and go to political hate rallies.

FDR told us, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” With pardoned Trump goon Roger Stone saying Donald Trump should declare martial law and arrest all his enemies if he loses the election, the biggest thing we have to fear now is Cheeto Hitler retaining power by any means necessary.

Donald Trump told Bob Woodward he likes dictators more than democratically-elected leaders. That alone should tell you we don’t want Trump to have a second term.

Donald Trump pales in comparison to leaders like Churchill, FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, Lincoln, and even Ronald Reagan. His favorite president, racist murdering Andrew Jackson, tells you all you need to know.

Who you can compare Trump to are people like Hitler, Mussolini, Idi Amin, Kim Jong Un, Saddam Hussein, and Muammar Gaddafi.

Donald Trump is no Churchill. He’s no FDR. If he retains power, he’ll become America’s first dictator.

Correction: It was President Harry Truman who said, “The buck stops here,” not Teddy Roosevelt. I knew that so I don’t know why I mucked it up. Shout-out to Shari for the correction in an email.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.