Broken Test


cjones04242020

One of Donald Trump’s excuses for doing such a lousy job handling the coronavirus pandemic is that President Obama left him “broken tests.”

Naturally, this is a lie. Let’s disregard the most obvious reason this is a lie in that it came from Donald Trump, but can a member of the class tell me the other reason? Specifically, can a Trump cultist tell me the answer? I’ll give you a minute to come up with the answer. I’ll talk to your intelligent classmates while you work on it.

How’s everybody doing? Staying safe? Ordering from locally-owned restaurants? Reading any good books? Binging Netflix? I hope you haven’t gone stir crazy yet. So, has the conservative member found the answer yet? What? He has a pained look on his face? OK, time’s up.

So, mouthbreather, what’s your answer? No, it wasn’t a trick question because Donald Trump never lies. Here, I’ll give you a little hint: The tests Donald Trump is accusing of being bad are for the coronavirus, specifically covid-19. What? They should have perfected the test because this is the 19th version? Sit down before you hurt yourself, Kellyanne.

First off, the number in covid-19 is for the year, 2019. This is a virus, not an installment of Fast and Furious. But let’s work with that. If the virus didn’t come into existence until 2019 and Obama left office in January 2017…wait for it…oh, fucksticks I give up waiting for you to figure it out.

There was never a test for covid-19 during the Obama administration because there was no covid-19. Jesus. How in the hell are you going to test for something that doesn’t exist? How do you know if the test works? Luckily for you, we had just as many tests for covid-19 as we had gaydars. The real mystery is, does Donald Trump actually believe this?

Here’s the thing: There’s no way any member of his administration ever told him that Obama left bad tests for covid-19, except maybe Kellyanne, who probably also told him there are gaydars. That means, Donald Trump just made this shit up.

Donald Trump made it up like he made up, “Anyone who needs a test gets a test,” and “it’ll disappear,” or it’s a “Democratic hoax,” or, “I’m not responsible,” or “I assure you, there’s no problem with the size of my penis.”

Another point the sycophants aren’t catching is that Donald Trump is admitting that providing tests is his responsibility. Donald Trump says it’s the states’ job to provide tests and he gave them a list of labs in their states (so helpful). But if it was President Obama’s job, as president, to make sure tests were available, then why isn’t it President (sic) Donald Trump’s job, as president (sic), to provide tests?

This is one where I don’t have the answer unless the answer is, Donald Trump wants to be praised for doing a job he’s not doing and that he doesn’t want to do. Is he too good to do the job a black president is supposed to do?

It’s hard. The governors and doctors are saying we’ll need massive testing before we can reopen the government. That is extremely hard to do when you haven’t prepared at all, you don’t know what you’re doing, and you’re an idiot.

Do you recall when Obama was president and Republicans got upset every time he reminded us that he inherited a shitty economy? They were like, “Stop blaming Bush. You’re president now though we’ll never call you ‘president.'” They need to tell Donald Trump, whom I’ll never call president, that same reply now. Donald Trump has been president for three years. Stop blaming Obama because you suck.

You don’t become a restaurant manager and complain that the previous manager, who left three years ago, didn’t order any straws. But then again, if you manage a restaurant like Donald Trump, you don’t need those straws because you already suck.

There have been multiple tests for Donald Trump as president (sic), and each time, the answer has been he sucks. Donald Trump is the suckiest president in American history. Over 22 million jobs have been lost and over 46,000 Americans have died from this virus. Him sucking is not a debate anymore (not that it ever was).

And if you’re still supporting a president who lost over 22 million jobs and watched over 46,000 Americans die while he was boasting about his TV ratings, you suck too. You suck as a human being and you suck as an American.

There was a test, and you failed.

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This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

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6 comments

  1. “But then again, if you manage a restaurant like Donald Trump, you don’t need those straws because you already suck.”

    . . . and have probably gone bankrupt by the time you realize you needed straws.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    My sentiments exactly!! … ‘if you’re still supporting a president who lost over 22 million jobs and watched over 46,000 Americans die while he was boasting about his TV ratings, you suck too. You suck as a human being and you suck as an American. There was a test, and you failed.’

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I love the way you are drawing his ass a lot bigger! Because it is, and his head looks smaller, hair more frazzled, skin more pollutant orange, everything is more.. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I will never be able to fathom why people support Donald Trump. What values, principles, ethics, educational abilities, morals does this man exhibit that makes him qualified for the most important job in the country? I have lost numerous friends and family over this issue. Never did I think those individuals would choose to support a man as lacking as this one is. I am afraid for the people of this country if we do not stand up to those who claim they are making America great again by encouraging such low lifes as Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, Stephen Miller, Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan ad naseum to run this country. Vote those mother fuckers out of office!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Every right-thinking person in the world let alone in America thinks as you do. 45 is that kind of “one-off” plague you never want to be repeated.

      Liked by 1 person

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