Covidiots

Skanks For The Memories

cjones05292020

Last week, Donald Trump yelled that churches are essential and demanded all the nation’s governors to reopen the churches in their states. If they won’t do it, he’ll override them and force the churches to reopen. Churches are essential dammit.

White evangelicals praised Donald Trump for declaring churches essential. Why, he’s their white knight of Christianity for saying churches are essential. And they are essential to all of them except…to Donald Trump.

Church is not essential to Donald Trump. Golf is essential to Donald Trump. Tweeting is essential to Donald Trump. Spreading childish insults, conspiracy theories, and lies are essential to Donald Trump. Being as divisive as possible to tear this country apart is essential to Donald Trump. Church? Not so much. If church was essential to Donald Trump, he would have been in one the Sunday after calling them essential.

I can not believe I’m not making this shit up. And I can not believe so many people are willing to overlook it.

During Memorial Day weekend, Donald Trump hit the links (not sausages, that we know of) twice. He visited his own course in Virginia. He was upset his golfing was criticized while totally missing why it was criticized. Trump thought he was being criticized for playing golf. No, he was criticized for playing golf during a pandemic despite criticizing President Obama for doing the same.

Differences between President Obama playing golf during the Ebola crisis, which Trump criticized him for, and Trump playing golf during a pandemic are: Two people died during the Ebola crisis. We’re nearing 100,000 for the Trump virus. Also, President Obama never swore he’d never play golf while he was president. Donald Trump did. Donald Trump described his fat ass riding around on a golf cart as exercise. Two things Donald Trump takes to the green with him: A golf cart and someone else’s golf ball, even if that ball belongs to a child.

While golfing and tweeting over the weekend, Donald Trump didn’t mention those lost to the Trump virus. That’s another thing he was criticized for. He neglected to mention those lost to the virus or even those on the front lines fighting, but he did dish out several hate tweets.

Donald Trump tweeted a conspiracy theory accusing MSNBC’s Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough of having an affair and committing murder. Did Donald Trump have any facts or evidence to back this up? No. Donald Trump is like the honey badger if the honey badger was orange and racist. Donald Trump don’t care. Donald Trump doesn’t need facts or evidence. It’s like his entire birther campaign when he swore he’d prove if President Obama was born in Kenya or not. He never did. He even took credit for President Obama producing his birth certificate, as if it’s thanks to Donald Trump that President Obama was born in Hawaii.

Donald Trump made a claim he was sending investigators to Hawaii to uncover the truth of Obama’s birth. Now, we need a search party to find those investigators because we never heard from them again. Methinks maybe John Barron led that expedition.

Donald Trump didn’t stop with the Scarborough conspiracy. He retweeted tweets from conservative and former political candidate John Stahl. John Stahl is a well-documented racist. Perhaps you don’t retweet a well-documented racist unless you yourself are a racist. In the past, John Stahl referred to Kamala Harris as “Willie’s ho,” and MSNBC’s Joy Reid as “butt ugly” and a “skank.” Apparently, racist tweets resonate with Donald Trump. In fact, he retweeted Stahl eight times on Saturday night.

Some of Trump’s Stahl retweets were about Nancy Pelosi wearing dentures (while Donald Trump himself probably wears dentures), Stacey Abrams hitting “every buffet in Georgia” while Donald Trump is no Twiggy himself, and finally, a tweet calling Hillary Clinton a skank.

It’s been three and a half years and Donald Trump still can’t get over Hillary Clinton so that must make her a skank in his book that he probably didn’t write and can’t read. Personally, I don’t think you’re fit to judge whether or not anyone is a skank when you cheated on all three of your wives who you’ve had five children with while raw-dogging porn stars and Playboy Playmates.

Racist Donald Trump also accused Joe Biden of being a racist while he was retweeting a known racist. I still can’t believe I’m not making any of this up.

Donald Trump projects. He calls someone else a racist because he’s a racist. He mocks people with dentures because he wears dentures. He calls women fat because he’s…well, Nancy called him “morbidly obese.” And, Donald Trump calls a woman a skank because he’s the biggest skank in the universe except, most skanks get sex for free. Donald Trump ultimately ends up paying for it.

Here’s the rule: If Donald Trump accuses anyone of anything, like cheating during an election, it’s because he’s doing it.

I’ll be glad when November gets here so we can rid ourselves of this skanky presidency.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

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An Incalculable Loss

cjones05272020

During Memorial Day weekend, while the U.S. death toll from the coronavirus was nearing 100,000, and after he had called for the reopening of the nation’s churches, Donald Trump was playing golf. In fact, he hit the course that he owns in Virginia, twice. Quite frankly, I’m surprised he felt confident enough about his safety to play in Virginia since we can’t “protect our potatoes.” He also kinda looks like a giant sweet potato where the sweetness was substituted with racism.

The New York Times ran a front-page Sunday listing the victims of the coronavirus. Of course, they couldn’t all fit on the front page so it continued to the inside pages.

Donald Trump criticized President Obama for playing golf during the Ebola crisis. That crisis killed two people. Donald Trump promised during the 2016 election that he would be “too busy” to play golf. As it turns out now, he’s played more in three and a half years than Obama did in eight. He defended his golf playing last weekend in a rambling rant saying the media was making it sound like a “mortal sin” that he was going outside and  getting a “little exercise.” I’ve played golf. I don’t think it’s that much exercise to ride around in a golf cart. He doesn’t even walk to the green. He parks on it.

And then, Trump went on to attack President Obama for playing golf…after he had played golf. About the media’s scrutiny, Trump tweeted, “I knew this would happen!” Well, he should have known it was going to happen because he spent years attacking Obama for playing golf. What Donald Trump seems to miss was the criticism wasn’t over him playing golf. It was over him playing golf during this pandemic and as the death toll soared near 100,000. It’s hard to read between the lines if you’re incapable of even reading the lines.

About that death toll: During his golf-laden weekend at his own resort (where he got to once again charge the Secret Service for golf cart rentals), Trump spread a conspiracy theory accusing a TV news host of murder. He retweeted tweets that made fun of Nancy Pelosi’s “dentures,” that made cracks about Georgia’s Stacey Abrams “hitting every buffet” in that state,” and that called Hillary Clinton a “skank.” Do you know how many of Trump’s tweets mentioned the victims of the coronavirus? None. All his tweets were about him, skanks, Polident, and buffets. Do you remember when Trump promised after he was elected he’d be presidential? Trust me. He made that promise.

One of my colleagues, Steve Brodner, issued a challenge for American political cartoonists to draw Donald Trump teeing off on the front page of The New York Times. This is my offering.

I saw a Facebook post by a conservative MAGAt cartoonist who questioned this campaign. He wrote, “Can’t believe so many cartoonists doing someone else’s lame idea.” That guy kinda retired from drawing political cartoons, but that makes sense since he doesn’t get it’s not about one person’s lame idea. It’s a protest where the message is strengthened and made louder by the numbers involved. He gets there’s strength in numbers, right? He’s heard Trump’s lies about crowd sizes. I guess leaving a one-sentence criticism was a lot easier than actually thinking up and doing one defending his orange messiah.

I don’t know how large this campaign will become. So far, I’ve seen about 20 of these and you can see a bunch of them here at Steve’s Facebook page (again. Cartoonists. Get a website). There are some really great ones in that batch and I’m not referring to mine because my cartoon isn’t included.

I created the cartoon just for the social media campaign. I didn’t put a lot of thought into it. Afterward, I realized some of my clients might like it (one has already ran it) so I sent it to them. And since I didn’t realize it could be its own free-standing cartoon while I was doing it, I didn’t make a video of it. Sorry.

And since not everyone who reads me here follows me on social media, I figured I should go ahead and blog it.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Grandpa Trump’s Magik Elixir

CNN05242020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

As I wrote a few days ago, the only reason Donald Trump is pushing junk science is to be divisive. The man wants to divide Americans as much as possible. For some reason, he believes it benefits him. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump.

He pushes medication that hasn’t been proven to help anyone. If anything, it’s proven to hurt people and even kill them. Donald Trump doesn’t care.

Donald Trump doesn’t want to be seen wearing a mask. He claims it’s to deny the image from reporters, which is childish. Reporters and the media didn’t create the mask narrative. They don’t own it. The truth is, Donald Trump likes politicizing the pandemic. He likes that his supporters are refusing to wear a mask because for them, it’s a political statement.

I wear a mask everytime I go out. When I do it, I don’t think I’m making a political statement. I’m proud to be a liberal and I stand on my positions and beliefs, but the mask isn’t a part of that. I wear the mask because the science community highly recommends it. I wear the mask to protect myself, but mostly to protect others. I wear the mask for the same reason I’ve been staying home which is to do my small part in protecting my nation and helping kill this virus. I also wear it not to be a selfish asshole to other people. It’s not a political statement to wear a mask.

When you don’t wear the mask, even if you’re not trying to make a political statement, you’re saying you’re a selfish asshole. You really are. And if you are wearing it to make a political statement, then you’re putting the health of others, including people you love, as risk for your politics. The majority of this nation is trying to kill this thing while the rest of you are keeping it alive.

Keep in mind, you’re following medical advice from a guy who believes in windmill cancer and asked about drinking bleach to kill a virus. You’re taking advice from a guy who spreads conspiracy theories. You’re taking medical advice from a man so out of shape, he’s afraid of stairs.

But then again, maybe Donald Trump is just trying to see what he can get away with. Maybe he’s bored because we know he’s not busy being president. Perhaps he’s trying to come up with the dumbest things to see what his base will support. He told them to use medication the medical community says can kill you. His base rallies to his defense. He told his base to “liberate” blue states. They held rallies. He encourages his base not to wear a mask and to gather in large groups and breathe on each other. Done. He fucking told them to drink household cleaning products.

Donald Trump is a carnival barker. He’s always been a con man. But con men need stupid people to succeed. Fortunately for Trump, there are plenty of those and they’re all Republicans.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Sunday Sycophants

cjones05262020

I’m not a religious person. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in religious freedom. Religious freedom means you’re free not to have any religion. Religious freedom means you’re free to be an atheist. Religious freedom is just as important to those without faith and religion as it is to those who worship a god. It also means you have the freedom to designate Donald Trump as your god.

If you actually buy into Donald Trump’s bullshit about opening churches, then Donald Trump is your god. It also means you’re stupid. If you’re ever walking along the street and run into someone playing the shell game (that’s where a guy has three shells, moves them around, and you guess which one has a pea in it), don’t play. You will suck at the shell game. For example: Donald Trump donates his salary while raking in emoluments and charging the government each time he visits one of his golf resorts. That is a shell game. You suck.

Donald Trump is a conman. He’s not even a good conman. Only stupid people fall for Donald Trump’s con. He runs multiple cons simultaneously (in case you’re a Republican, that means at the same time). But his most recent con is his demand for all the governors to allow churches to reopen. If they defy his order (in case you’re a Republican, that “defy” means they don’t do what he says), he claims he’ll override the governors and force them to open churches.

How exactly is Donald Trump going to override governors and force churches to reopen? By sending in the National Guard? Oops, no he won’t. He just called for their deployment to end one day before they’re eligible for benefits (in case you’re a Republican, “eligible” means having the right to get something). Anyway, I’d love to see the Army storming into churches and apprehending grandmas. That would make a great Madea movie. This is also another example that Donald Trump doesn’t really support the military.

Here’s the thing though: Donald Trump does NOT have the authority to force governors to reopen churches. But he won’t have to anyway. No governor is going to send state police into churches to arrest parishioners. There will be no posses sent out to wrangle choirs.

This is also another example of Donald Trump not caring about people. He doesn’t care if you go to church any more than he cares if you die from the coronavirus, or if you die from taking medication prescribed by a quack wearing a yellow ferret on his head. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to be in church on Sunday defying social distancing guidelines. No. He’s going to be in the White House on Sunday morning watching Fox News, tweeting stupid crap while eating Quarter Pounders with cheese.

This is kinda like Trump Wine. He says he doesn’t drink wine but can vouch his wine is the best wine. How would he know if it’s the best wine if he doesn’t drink wine? How would he know churches are essential when he’s never been to one? He claims he’s been to church but I don’t know if anything really sunk in when the only impression he got was from the “little crackers.”

A lot of people say Donald Trump is playing to his base because he’s down in the polls. He is playing to his base but not for their votes. He already has those. If you’re a white religious zealot, he didn’t win your vote yesterday. He had your vote when he called Mexicans “rapists and murderers.” What is Donald Trump doing? He’s being divisive. He’s making religion partisan, just like he did with science.

Do you know why Donald Trump keeps pimping Hydroxychloroquine? It’s not because he’s making money on it. It’s not because he’s saving face. It’s not because he actually believes in it. He’s advocating it because it defies science. He’s promoting it because he made it a wedge issue. He likes to divide and fight and his base is dumb enough to buy into it because they’re all horrible and vile people. Donald Trump says to take it so his supporters swear by it…even though most of them have never taken it or read a scientific paper on it. In fact, his own administration urges you NOT to take it while he’s saying “take it” and asking “what have you got to lose?”. You have everything to lose. And if you ignore social distancing guidelines and go to a crowded church, you have everything to lose.

Here’s another thing, kiddos: You and your religion are not being persecuted because you’re denied the right to infect other people. If one person with Covid-19 is in your church, with loud singing, loud chanting, loud hallelujahs, and everyone’s in close proximity, then your church is a cesspool. Multiple people have caught the coronavirus in church.

Nobody is telling you not to have faith. No governor has outlawed praying. If your religion requires you to pray with specific company and in a specific building, then you don’t have any faith at all. You physically being in a church isn’t essential at all. That doesn’t mean your faith isn’t essential, but you being there…nuh-uh.

What is religious persecution is denying a mosque the right to exist in a certain location which Donald Trump did to a mosque in New York City in 2010. Religious persecution is calling for surveillance on all mosques which Donald Trump did as a presidential candidate. Religious persecution is calling for a ban on all Muslims entering the nation which Donald Trump did as a presidential candidate. Religious persecution is enacting that ban which Donald Trump did as president (sic).

Also, Donald Trump is demanding all churches reopen while the coronavirus is still rampaging through the south and midwest. Donald Trump is encouraging you to put yourself, your family, and your neighbors in danger. Donald Trump does not care if you die.

If you really buy into the idea that Donald Trump, Mr. Two Corinthians…Mr. Porn-Star shagging really cares about your religion, then I have a piece of toast with Jesus’ image in it I’ll sell to you for a great price.

As I said, I’m not religious but growing up in Southern Baptist churches, in addition to a few Catholic churches, and even attending a private Baptist school for a year, I’m quite familiar with religions. And I know using religion as a political prop is sinful.

Another sin is worshipping a false deity. And Donald Trump is as false as it gets.

And in case you’re a Republican, see you in Hell.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Gravesite Hit Job

cjones05252020

Trump supporters always tell people like me that I don’t get it. They tell me I don’t understand how they could become so disenfranchised to vote for someone like Donald Trump. I do get it to a certain point. They’re a bunch of racists so upset that after electing the nation’s first black president, who was very successful for eight years, they had to go and elect a stupid, narcissistic reality TV show host.

Think about it. Remember that entire Tea Bagger, I mean, Tea Party thing that popped up after Obama was elected? The Tea Baggers, er…Partiers, came along between the election and Obama’s inauguration (in case you’re a Republican, that’s BEFORE Obama was president) to scream and hold rallies against Obama’s runaway spending. After eight years of George W. Bush running up this nation’s greatest debt by paying for two wars with tax cuts, they were suddenly concerned about a president’s spending. Hey, where are they now?

But, Trump’s supporters are right in that to a certain extent, I don’t get it. I mean, even if you’re a Swastika-flag waving racist who owns a lawn jockey, why would you want someone as stupid as Donald Trump to be your champion? I guess you gotta be stupid to be that racist…I mean, to fly that flag and to vote for Donald Trump. Here’s the thing, MAGAts: Donald Trump is nothing you say he is. He’s not a great businessman. He’s not smart. He’s not a great negotiator. And most of all, he didn’t create the great economy we had. He’s more a collection of bad personality traits than he is an actual human being.

But what I really don’t get is how anyone could consider voting for Donald Trump after losing nearly 100,000 lives and nearly 40 million jobs. You can argue those jobs will come back (years from now) but those lives are gone forever. I thought it was obvious back in 2016 that Donald Trump was a major-league racist dumbass who didn’t know anything about anything, but now, the results are here.

The presidency of Donald J. Trump kills people. It kills Americans. And what does Donald Trump have to say about this? Anyone who points it out is conducting a political hit job.

Donald Trump had a very slow response to the coronavirus pandemic. He said it was nothing, it was the flu, he could handle it, it was a low number of people, the numbers would go down, it was a Democratic hoax, people could go to work with it, it would disappear, anyone who wants a test can get a test, etc. He was unprepared despite having everything he needed left for him by the Obama administration. He was unprepared despite warnings from his own government about the virus.

Columbia University published a study that said acting earlier would have saved lives. The New York Times published findings from the study that said 36,000 fewer people in the U.S. would have died from COVID-19 if the country imposed restrictions just one week earlier. The study itself says by early May, about 54,000 fewer people would have died from the virus had stay-at-home policies been put in place on March 1.

Instead of focusing on all the lives lost, Donald Trump wailed. “I was so early. I was earlier than anybody thought. I put a ban on people coming in from China.” That’s his only achievement of sorts because he keeps bringing it up. But the truth is, he only initiated the ban after the major airlines enacted their own. And, he only banned incoming travelers who weren’t American citizens as if somehow, the virus was prejudiced. So, he didn’t really enact a total ban. Plus, he didn’t ban travel from Europe at that time. The cases that hit the east coast were from Europe. Donald Trump dismantled the back door to block the front door. He’s an idiot. Basically, his first act was to ban non-white travelers.

Trump also said, “Columbia is an institution that’s very liberal. I think it’s just a political hit job, you want to know the truth.” Facts have a liberal bias and Donald Trump never wants to know the truth. But how can anyone dispute that acting earlier would have saved lives? You would think Donald Trump could accept that truth instead of ignoring the thousands of lives lost and making it all about him.

What surprises me isn’t just that anyone could still support Trump, but that his approval is as high as 41%. An Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research shows that while 58% disapprove, his approval is at 41%. After his job performance handling the pandemic, his approval should be in the teens at best. Even 20% of Republicans say the federal response to the virus has been terrible, but those Republicans don’t think the President (sic) of the United States has anything to do with the federal government. How can anyone still want to vote for a guy who suggests we drink bleach?

Oh, I get it now. I see how Republicans can continue to support Donald Trump. They’re racist, horrible, vile, disgusting, stupid people. Real stupid.

But the virus doesn’t care about your politics. It’s not going to skip you because you “believe” wearing a mask is partisan. It doesn’t matter what you believe. Even if you support Donald Trump, you’re in danger from this virus just as much as the rest of us.

Donald Trump said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose any supporters. Looking at how the numbers from his base have not changed, he’s right. But, if you support Donald Trump, what happens if he shoots your grandma?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Sucky Medical Advice

cjones05222020

I’m not a doctor, but Donald Trump does not look well. Again, I’m no medical professional, but Donald Trump looks like total crap. Granted, he’s never looked all that well, and I have no medical training, but he looks worse than usual. He looks like something scared the hell out of him. He looks like he saw a black female ghost in the White House.

I have no medical training, but I have opinions. I believe when I take Zicam after the first feelings of a cold coming on, it can prevent the cold or decrease its effects. Is that true? For some people some of the time. Can I prescribe (even though it’s over the counter)? No, because I’m not a doctor.

So when Donald Trump boasts about taking Hydroxychloroquine, a drug most medical professionals say doesn’t help fight Covid-19 at all and is probably more harm than good, he’s prescribing it. That’s dangerous. It’s reckless. I’ve said it before and Donald Trump proved it yesterday: Donald Trump does not care about you.

There’s much speculation as to why Donald Trump is taking the medication…and why he’s telling us. From liberals I’ve talked to, the thought is he’s making money off this and he knows his cult will try to take it too…if they can get a doctor to prescribe it. For others, they believe it’s a distraction from things like over 90,000 people dying from coronavirus, the firing of Inspectors General, and the Attorney General (who usually doesn’t have any problem carrying Donald Trump’s water) refusing to go after President Obama because EVEN William Barr sees it as overly political and illegal. I don’t think any of those reasons are why Donald Trump is taking it and boasting about it. The only reason Donald Trump is taking hydroxychloroquine is that he wants to stick it in the face of liberals, Democrats, and the media.

When making the announcement, Trump said he couldn’t wait to see the media’s faces. When asked why would he take a drug that doesn’t work and could hurt him, he said, “Here we go, you ready? Here’s my evidence. I get a lot of positive calls about it. The only negative I’ve heard was the study where they gave it — was it the VA with, you know, people that aren’t big Trump fans gave it.”

Wait. The only negatives he’s heard about it are from people who aren’t “big Trump fans?” So now, not only has the pandemic, reopening, and science been partisan and political, so is the treatment.” Donald Trump believes the treatment is all about Donald Trump.

Donald Trump has stood next to Dr. Anthony Fauci, the leading virus expert in the nation, while the doctor was expressing his opinion that you should NOT take this medication. Yesterday, Donald Trump said he’s taking it because he heard a doctor he doesn’t know say good things about it. Donald Trump is not a doctor but he has played a dumbass on television.

This is like ignoring medical advice given to you personally by Dr. Anthony Fauci in favor of sticking your penis in a meat grinder because a Facebook meme told you it works.

This begs other questions: Is Mike Pence taking it? And…did Donald Trump actually get this prescribed? We know the answer to the second question. It’s yes. Donald Trump said he brought it up to the White House doctor and the doctor went ahead and gave it to him. He’s been on the stuff for the past ten days which may explain the mood swings and shouting at female reporters during that time. We’re still unsure what caused all the mood swings and shouting at female reporters before that time.

So, Trump says, “Hey, Doc. I wanna take some shit I heard some good things about from 4chan.” And the doctor says, “OK.” I’ve always heard of patients asking doctors about a medication they heard about from some crazy source, like from watching Hannity,  and the doctor shooting the patient’s idea down. Of course, most patients aren’t the president (sic) of the United States. At first, I thought, maybe the doctor told Trump he’s doing what he wants, but all the pills are shaped like Bam-Bam. But no. The doc issued a statement that they weighed the negatives and they’re giving the stuff to Trump to prevent him from catching Covid-19.

According to the White House, Donald Trump does not have Covid-19…but there’s never been any evidence, none, zilch, nada, that taking Hydroxychlorquine prevents you from catching it. we’re not even talking about fighting the virus after catching it. We’re talking about it being a preventative measure. He may as well be taking Zicam.

There are serious dangers of this drug, like “life-threatening heart rhythm problems.” The side effects include “crazy dreams” and mood swings. Could Donald Trump have a physician lie for him? I mean, could the 248 pounds, six foot three Donald Trump have a physician lie for him? Donald Trump is about to turn 74-years-old. He’s a big guy. He’s probably on other medications. He has a history of heart disease. He only eats fast food. The only vegetable he consumes is ketchup. And…he’s fat. He is so fat. Last night while talking to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called him “morbidly obese.” I can NOT wait for Donald Trump to reply to that and use the defense that doctors only describe him as “clinically” obese.

I told you the different theories liberals have as to why Donald Trump is taking this. My theory is to stick it in the face of the media, liberals, and Democrats. Conservatives and Trump shitweasels agree with me. Last night, I looked on a few MAGAt social media pages and they were all with the belief that Donald Trump is taking it, while believing the medication works, just to piss off liberals. As one put it, “The media is afraid Trump’s going to prove it works.”

Here’s the thing, fucknuts: Donald Trump can’t prove it works. If it doesn’t hurt him, that doesn’t prove it won’t kill you. It won’t even prove it prevents one from catching the virus. And keep in mind, Donald Trump has doctors around him on a daily basis. If he’s actually taking this stuff, he’s probably taking two EKGs a day. He is being monitored by the minute. This not going to prove it works…but it can prove it doesn’t.

The greatest danger of Donald Trump taking a medication promoted by quacks and conspiracy theorists is that it will harm his supporters. People have already died from taking this quack’s medical advice. His supporters already argue against wearing masks and some believe it’s a deep-state method of controlling them.

Donald Trump argues Hydroxychloroquine has been around for forty years and it works because it helps with malaria and lupus. Does Donald Trump have malaria? Does Donald Trump have lupus? Are you going to start wearing a flea collar because you heard it works on fleas so it must work on the coronavirus?

So, kids. If you’re arguing, believing, and/or taking a specific medication because Donald Trump told you it works, in defiance of the FDA, the CDC, the Veterans Affairs Administration, and the World Health Organization, congratulations. You are now officially in a cult. You’re following an orange Jim Jones. You may as well be a Branch Davidian. You are drinking the Kool-Aid.

Donald Trump has given some very bad medical advice. He said people go to work and recover from the coronavirus. He says he’ll continue to shake hands. He refuses to wear a mask because he doesn’t “see it for himself.” He threw out the idea of drinking bleach. But, he will take some quack medication that could make his obese heart collapse.

So, if you’re willing to listen to Donald Trump and take Hydroxychloroquine…why don’t you just go all out. Take Hydroxychloroquine…and down it with a Clorox chaser.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Roughing It, Volume 45

Let’s dive into the roughs from the week before.

CNNrough750

I drew this rough on a Thursday or a Friday and CNN picked it for the weekly newsletter.

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It’s a good example of how something starts and is pitched with little to no art…then blooms into this.

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I almost drew something else, but late in the morning (like around 6:00 A.M.), I decided a cow in a suit was too funny not to draw.

cjones05152020

And it became this.

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Now that I’ve done this cartoon, I’m not that in love with it anymore. But I liked it at the time and drew the actual cartoon for it.

cjones05122020

I spent a long time on Michael Flynn’s nose. I think I’m going to make cheeseburgers tonight.

CNNrough746

Looking back at this one, I don’t even know where I was going with it. Oh yeah…someone in the White House tested positive. I drew this idea…and then the story progressed and gave me better ideas. I think this bloomed into the Michael Flynn hamberder idea. So this wasn’t in front of me for long.

CNNrough745

I may come back and draw this one. One of my proofreaders really liked it.

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I liked this one well enough and thought I should draw it for several reasons. First, Trump is not in it. Second, it was an important issue which is unemployment and I was able to mesh it with another issue. Third, I thought it was something all my clients would use. But there was one weakness.

employmentline

It didn’t feature a cow in a suit. This is where I stopped working on it when I finally stopped second-guessing myself and went with the suit cow.

Which cartoons are your favorites?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Fox V. Fauci

cjones05202020

The current talking point in attacking Dr. Anthony Fauci, the leading infectious disease expert in the United States, is that he’s “unelected.”

Senator Rand Paul said he’s not the “end-all” of understanding how viruses and pandemics work. Actually, he is. Laura Ingraham points out he’s unelected. Tucker Carlson did the same while also calling him a “buffoon.”

These buffoons need to understand something. Dr. Fauci isn’t closing states, businesses, or schools. He’s giving advice. His advice comes from knowledge and experience. While Dr. Fauci isn’t a politician and isn’t an expert on the economy or business, the Fox buffoons are not doctors or scientists. Rand Paul is a doctor, but he’s an eye doctor and even then, I don’t think he’s the “end-all” of poking shit in your eyeball.

Do you know who else isn’t elected? Stephen Miller. Nobody voted for Stephen Miller yet he’s drawing up our immigration policy. Other than Mike Pence and Donald Trump, there’s not one person in the Trump administration anyone voted for. Not Betsy DeVos, Ben Carson, William Barr, or Mike Pompeo. Nobody voted for these people to be in their current positions but they’re all there legally.

And nobody voted for Jared Kushner. While you can argue over the experience of some of the cabinet members, Jared comes with none. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Jared’s expertise is only in being Donald Trump’s idiot son-in-law. Yet, Jared has been in charge of immigration and peace in the Middle East. Now, he’s one of the directors of our response to the coronavirus and told us the government stockpile of medical equipment wasn’t for the states and is “our stockpile,” as in the federal government’s stockpile.

Now, Jared is floating the idea of delaying the general election. Wouldn’t Republicans just love that? Hey, just like if you don’t test then you don’t get positive results, if we don’t hold an election, then we don’t have to count all those votes against Trump.

Answering a question from Time Magazine about postponing the general election because of the pandemic, Jared said, “I’m not sure I can commit one way or the other, but right now that’s the plan.” Yes, Jared. You can commit one way or the other. That way would be, “No. There are no plans to postpone the election because I’m not the one to make that call…and neither is Donald Trump.” That’s how you answer that question.

Who the hell is Jared Kushner to even tell us if there’s a plan or not on delaying the general election? What sort of arrogance and narcissism must this guy have to act as though he could plan it? Even DonaldTrump can’t plan it.

While the Covidiots at Fox News screams about Fauci being unelected and call him a “buffoon,” they ignore Jared’s idiocy and lack of qualifications while he floats the idea of violating the Constitution of the United States. Jared Kushner has NEVER accomplished or achieved anything in his life, other than being born rich, inheriting riches, and marrying rich.

The funny thing about the general election. It’s in the Constitution. Federal law stipulates when we hold the election, when states’ electors cast their votes and send them to Congress, and even when the president and vice-president’s tenures expire.

Congress would have to change federal law (one House is held by Democrats who are lead by Nancy Pelosi) to change the date of the election.

And, look at it this way: If we don’t hold an election, the president and vice president’s terms will automatically expire at noon on January 20, 2021, either way. If Donald Trump’s term expires and there’s no duly elected president because there wasn’t an election, say, “Hello, Madam President.” Because if there’s no election, she’s guaranteed to still be Speaker of the House and she’s next in line for the presidency after Trump and Pence.

Hmm. Maybe this no election thing isn’t a bad idea after all.

Here’s the other thing that pisses me off about this, that burns my cheese, chokes my goat, the fire that burns my ass: Fox News expressing concern about someone being unelected.

Fox News doesn’t care that Donald Trump is in the White House without a mandate. They don’t care he’s there after the majority of voters rejected him in 2016. They don’t care that Russians tampered with our election. They don’t care that Donald Trump is inviting foreign nations to tamper with the next one.

Fox News does not care when minority voters’ civil rights are violated by being removed from voter rolls. They didn’t care when thousands of American voters were removed from the rolls in Georgia’s last state election. They didn’t care that the guy who could remove them was the Republican candidate for governor. They didn’t care when he won.

Fox News didn’t care when thousands of Native Americans, people who are way more American than anyone at Fox News, weren’t allowed to vote in North Dakota.

So, Fox News…spare me your fainting spells over shit you don’t really care about. But, if you want to do it your way, Fox News…let’s hold Dr. Anthony Fauci to an election over Donald Trump.

As it currently stands, over 60% of Americans trust Dr. Fauci. Donald Trump, your hero, is hovering around 30%.

Quite frankly, Fox News buffoons…you don’t do well with elections so maybe you should stop talking and making demands about them.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Sniveling Corona Cowards

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I’ve always liked the actor Kevin James. I liked his show, King of Queens, and thought he did a great job and matched well with Will Smith in Hitch. Heck, I even liked Paul Blart a little. Granted, everything else he’s done has kinda sucked, but I still liked him. He’s always seemed like an everyman kinda dude. Now, I like him a little less.

Kevin James’ latest production is the worst thing he’s ever made. Yeah. Even worse than Paul Blart 2. It’s worse than Grown Ups. It’s even worse than Grown Ups 2. It’s probably worse than that movie where he talks to zoo animals. I say probably because I haven’t seen it but it looks pretty bad. Do you want proof his latest thing is bad? The conservative Trump cult fucknuts love it.

James has a YouTube channel where he posts short films. His latest film is about two men on the run from the authorities for being out in public without wearing masks and for shaking hands. Seriously.

There are now 86,000 deaths in this nation from the coronavirus and Kevin James has joined all those idiots crying about their “freedom” when nobody has taken their freedom. Despite nobody being arrested for not wearing a mask or for shaking hands, James has joined in with the shitweasel brigade and the Flat Earthers. I understand satire but I also understand propaganda. This tilts more toward the latter. This is some real Ben Garrison shit.

These idiots who scream about their liberties and storm state capitals with guns, Nazi symbols, and nooses, NEVER speak out when a black man is profiled or killed by the police. They NEVER speak out when voting rights are denied to non-white American citizens. They NEVER defend free speech except whenever a university disinvites a Nazi from speaking on their campus. But now, they have a new hero in Kevin James. Congratulations, Kevin. You’re in the same club as Ted Nugent and James Woods. Heck, you’re in the same club as the worst Baldwin brother, You know. Whatsisname Baldwin brother.

These people who have watched Red Dawn too many times act as though their purchase of a gun is supporting the Second Amendment. They believe carrying an assault weapon with them everywhere they go, whether it’s Chick-fil-A or the state capitol building, defends their Second Amendment Rights.

These gun nuts who describe themselves as “Constitutionalists” only know one Constitutional Amendment. And even then, they bastardize it by ALWAYS omitting the “well-regulated” part. Anytime you mention “regulation” in the context of guns, they scream you’re taking away their Second Amendment rights despite the fact “well regulated” is literally in the Second Amendment. I swear. Look it up.

But, if their buying a gun reinforces their Second Amendment rights, then me telling them they’re all a bunch of racist Kool-Aid drinking cultist knuckle-dragging treasonous Putin-Loving dumbasses reinforces my First Amendments rights.

Keep in mind, the people who believe being “forced” to wear masks and closing the country is all designed to steal their freedom and punish Donald Trump also believe Climate Change is a hoax.

Now, they’re saying you’re a coward if you don’t leave your house without a mask. Why look how brave they are by going outside without a face covering. Why look how brave their president (sic) is being the only one not wearing a mask while visiting a PPE plant or a factory that actually makes masks. They are so proud. I’m sorry but I don’t think stupidity is something to be proud of.

The people staying home and wearing masks are the true patriots. They’re not just protecting themselves. They’re protecting you even though you don’t deserve it.

The real cowards are supporters of Donald Trump. They’re afraid to leave their houses without assault weapons and they vote for a guy who runs on a campaign of fear. Trump supporters are afraid of everything.

But then again, calling us “cowards” for doing the right thing and protecting our nation is once again them projecting. We need to protect our nation from the coronavirus and all…

…we need to protect our nation from gun-toting sniveling coward Trump supporters.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Acceptable Answers

cjones05182020

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s top infectious disease expert, testified before the U.S. Senate this week and warned about reopening the nation too quickly and stressed the unknown effects the coronavirus could have on children returning to school.

Donald Trump wasn’t pleased. This is an administration trying to downplay the virus. Donald Trump wants to reopen the schools and the rest of the nation as quickly as possible. He tweets at his racist gun-toting followers to “liberate” their states. He refuses to wear a mask because it might give the appearance that we’re not out of the woods yet. In order to declare “mission accomplished,” the White House is publicly defying the guidance given by the White House.

About Dr. Fauci’s answer, Trump said it was an “unacceptable answer.” He said Dr. Fauci, “Wants to play all sides of the equation.” How exactly is Dr. Fauci playing “all sides of the equation?” Did he say kids shouldn’t go back to school and they should go back to school? Has he been as inconsistent and confusing as Donald Trump? No.

The problem here for Donald Trump is the nation trusts Dr. Fauci more than they trust Donald Trump. According to a recent poll by the Center for the Digital Future at the USC Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism and the Interactive Advertising Bureau (who picked that name? Sheesh!), 45% of Americans trust Dr. Fauci. It stated 35% trusted their governors. And only 20% trusted Donald Trump. Really? That high for Trump?

I would trust a nutless monkey’s advice over that of Donald Trump. Say what you will about primates and sure, they fling poo, but I haven’t heard any nutless monkeys suggest we drink Clorox.

During Dr. Fauci’s testimony, U.S. Senator Rand Paul, who risked exposing his colleagues with the coronavirus between taking a test and testing positive, told Dr. Fauci he wasn’t the “end-all” for information on the coronavirus. There are two things Rand Paul needs to understand. First, there has not been a run on razors and shaving cream. He obviously doesn’t care about school children because that thing on his face is going to scare them to death. Secondly, Dr. Fauci IS the “end-all” on information about the coronavirus, you fucking quack eye doctor. It is no wonder Rand Paul gets physically attacked by his neighbors and a huge wonder why his Senate colleagues, who’ve been socially distancing from him for years, haven’t grabbed him by the beard and flung him out a window.

Rand Paul isn’t the only conservative attempting to discredit Dr. Fauci. Fox News has been going at him with the current talking point being “no one elected Dr. Fauci.” Yeah? For that matter, no one elected Jared Kushner but there he is talking about delaying the general election, which his father-in-law failed to win the popular vote from last time.

Sean Hannity, who once called the coronavirus a “hoax” then said he never called it a “hoax,” said about Fauci, “There is no secret that he, like so many others, have been wrong a lot.” One of those “others” who’s been wrong a lot, in addition to all the idiots on Fox News, is Donald Trump.

Laura Ingraham warned us Democrats are “remaking America under the veil of a virus” and staging “a naked power grab in the middle of a pandemic.” Of course, she also once said face masks were a deep state plot to control Americans.

Tucker Carlson said, “This guy, Fauci, may be even more off-base than your average epidemiologist.” Tucker is more off-base than your average cultist TV host dispensing propaganda disguised as information. He then referred to Fauci as the “Chief buffoon.” Tucker also claimed, “Some people think that he (Fauci) should be dictator for the duration of this crisis.” Yeah. How dare people try to replace our current dictator. But this does beg the question, who is the “Chief Buffoon” on Fox News? Who wins that contest?

And, Donald Trump once retweeted the hashtag #FireFauci.

Since Trump, Fox News, and 4chan began their hostile hate campaign against Dr. Fauci, his personal security has been increased. The Dr., who’s been telling us the truth, has been receiving death threats. You have NOT heard any of these hosts from Fox News or even Donald Trump speak out against threats against Dr. Fauci.

The reason Fauci’s answer warning about reopening schools too quickly is unacceptable to Donald Trump is that it wasn’t the kind of answer you’d get from a yes man.

Donald Trump has gone to great lengths to surround himself with yes people. He’s been purging career officials who aren’t “Trump people” or who may appear “disloyal” to him. He calls them “Never Trumpers.” Even Dr. Deborah Birx wouldn’t shoot down the bleach theory.

Dr. Fauci’s answer to Trump was unacceptable because it was truth. In this White House, truth is not acceptable.

There are talking points distributed to every person who works for the government under Trump. The first is, praise Trump. And it must be written in bold and large letters because the wording is always the same when it comes out of their mouths. “Thank you for your leadership.” It’s like a broken record. This is some real Hitler/Stalin/Kim Jong Un shit.

Donald Trump needs fewer yes men, like Mike Pence, and more honest men, like Dr. Fauci. Unfortunately, if Pence is replaced on this ticket, it’ll be with another yes person, like Nikki Haley. If Dr. Fauci is replaced, it’ll be with another yes person, like Nikki Haley.

Donald Trump desperately wants to fire Dr. Fauci and I find that unacceptable.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.