Hating Jeff’s Cookies


A flaming bag of poo may be the perfect metaphor for the Trump administration.

Jeff Sessions wasn’t just one of the first elected officials to endorse Donald Trump for president, he was the first United States Senator to back Trump. Sessions looked at Trump and saw narcissism, ignorance, stupidity, sexism, and racism and said, “that’s what I want for a president.” It was probably the racism that got him.

Sessions introduced Trump at one of his earliest rallies, which was in Mobile, Alabama. He was in so deep with the Trump campaign that he was secretly meeting Russians for Trump. He later forgot to mention meeting these Russians during his confirmation hearings. Sessions was in so tight with Trump, that he committed perjury for him.

Trump was so appreciative of Sessions’ support, he awarded him with the job of Attorney General after his first two choices backed out (turns out Matlock is fictional). What a guy.

Since Trump is one of those “what have you done for me lately?” kinda guys, his love for Sessions has gone soft. Some would say it’s entirely limp. It’s flaccid. It’s dysfunctional. It’s not getting back up anytime soon.

Trump is really upset that Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation, and his deputy appointed a Special Counsel to investigate the president’s collusion with Russia.

Trump says if Sessions had told him before he was appointed AG that he would recuse himself, then Trump would not have appointed him. Unless Sessions and Trump plotted the Russia collusion together and one of them said “we might be investigated for this,” then how was Sessions to know there would be a need for an investigation?

Trump says Sessions should not have recused himself. Sessions should not have had to recuse himself because he shouldn’t be Attorney General. We also shouldn’t have a president neck-deep in Putin’s anus, but what ya’ gonna do?

Trump values loyalty. It’s something that he keeps bringing up. He puts great stock in people being loyal to him, but not in his own loyalty. He expects loyalty to be placed above the law. The law is what Sessions followed in recusing himself and that’s chapped Trump’s orange ass.

Trump sold out Sean Spicer and now he’s selling out Sessions. He’s conducted a tweet storm against the guy and questioning why he’s not using his position for political retribution to go after his opponent from the presidential campaign and the former FBI director.

If Trump fires Sessions, it won’t be just because he’s angry. It’ll be to thwart the Special Counsel’s investigation. Trump can’t fire Robert Mueller. He has to tell his appointees in the Justice Department to do that dirty work. The firing would have to be done by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein unless Trump fires him too. Trump’s already expressed concern that Rosenstein is from liberal Baltimore, even though he’s not.

This issue is another reason to pay close attention to what the Republicans are doing in the Senate with their health-care bill. They’re ramming several versions through for a vote. If they all fail, then the Senate will be able to say they tried, and then go on recess and hang out on the beach like Chris Christie. It’s during this recess that Trump could fire Sessions and make a recess appointment, which won’t need Senate confirmation. However, that appointment can only be made if the recess is to last longer than ten days and the Senate may fight it. While the Republicans love Trump, and they control the Senate calendar, they also love Sessions who was previously one of them.

Firing Sessions may be the final act to anger Republicans in Congress. Trump has already fired an FBI director to stop the investigation into Russia, and that action made it worse. Firing more people to end the investigation will only heighten the need to investigate, and perhaps remove Trump from office. We’re already on the highway to a Constitutional crisis.

I’m all for removing an Attorney General who doesn’t believe in justice for minorities or Civil Rights, but I’m not for obstruction of justice. Someone does need to be removed from office and that person is the president.

Trump, focusing on what’s “fair” to him and only him, says it’s unfair to the president that the Attorney General recused himself. What is unfair is that we have to live through the administration of an unqualified president who wants to rule, not govern, and places himself above the law.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.


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