Attorney General

Buy-Bye, Billy

cjones12162020

Donald Trump is going to spend the time he has left in his presidency (sic), which is less than 40 days, seeking revenge. Donald Trump will burn the world to right any perceived wrongs against himself.

Donald Trump claims he made it safe to say, “Merry Christmas” again, which of course is a lie, but the joke here is that he doesn’t actually celebrate Christmas. Donald Trump celebrates Festivus, that Costanza holiday that brings misery to all who observe it. And though this is the season, Donald Trump airs his grievances year-round.

And Donald Trump has a lot of grievances. He may hold the record for personal feuds. He’s tweeted insults and attacks to the most powerful leaders, like President Barack Obama, to movie stars, like Kristen Stewart. According to Trump, the media is against him and so is Hollywood, Washington, ratings, facts, polls, the Post Office, Amazon, Europe, Canadian cheese, and even Republicans who aren’t adequately sycophantic.

During the 2016 presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton warned us that Donald Trump would use the Justice Department to go after his enemies. He doesn’t hide things very well as he admitted right after that, if he ran it, she would “be in jail.” And he has used the department, not just to go after his enemies, but as his personal defense attorney.

His first attorney general, Jeff Sessions, was a sycophant. And although he was giddy and gleeful over separating families and throwing babies in jail, even he knew he had to recuse himself concerning an investigation into Trump and Russia. Sessions was the first senator to endorse Trump. He was on the campaign. He carried his bags. He wore a MAGA hat. So, recusing himself only seemed like the right thing to do. When his assistant appointed Robert Mueller to investigate Trump, Donald was livid. How dare Jeff Sessions recuse himself. He made it clear it was Sessions’ job to protect and defend him. Shortly after, Sessions was fired on grounds of not protecting Donald Trump.

William Barr, who was AG during the first Bush’s term (hey, he’s worked the same job for two one-termers), auditioned for the job on Trump TV (Fox News) saying Mueller shouldn’t have been appointed. After being hired, he told friends he was going to Washington to “save the Justice Department.” He failed. Oh, sweet Jesus, he failed.

He didn’t just fail. He failed in a big way. If he was jumping off a diving board, he would have hit the water with a huge belly flop that would have drained the pool.

When Robert Mueller was finished with his report, William Barr (who was his boss), sat on it for two weeks and gave a misleading summary of it to the public. Barr gave the impression it cleared Donald Trump and there was no obstruction of justice. The Mueller Report actually said there probably was and didn’t clear Trump at all. A federal judge said Barr “couldn’t be trusted” to describe the report and he lacked credibility.

If William Barr ever had credibility, he lost it the day he took the job working for Donald Trump.

Barr’s Justice Department later tried to shield Trump goons, Roger Stone and Michael Flynn. He ordered the clearing of Lafayette Square outside the White House, which was done with teargas, so Trump could conduct a photo-op with a Bible outside St. John’s Church. Barr actually had the Justice Department defend Donald Trump in court when he was sued by E. Jean Carroll for defamation after she publicly accused him of rape.

Where Barr fell out of favor was for contradicting Trump’s claims that the presidential race had been stolen through widespread fraud. Hey, if lickspittle Barr can’t even find enough to lie about it for Trump, there is no mass voter fraud. But perhaps what really pissed Donald Trump off is that William Barr didn’t announce an investigation into Hunter Biden, the president-elect’s son, before the election.

When Donald Trump fired James Comey as head of the FBI, his initial excuse was because Comey announced an investigation into Hillary Clinton before the 2016 election. The Justice Department is NOT supposed to play politics or get involved in elections. Trump has tweeted that Barr should have publicized the investigation into Hunter in order to help his and fellow Republicans’ campaigns.

Trump tweeted, “Why didn’t Bill Barr reveal the truth to the public, before the Election, about Hunter Biden. Big disadvantage for Republicans at the polls!” And even then, Bill Barr did get involved with the election (just as several other cabinet members and White House employees did) by warning that electing Joe Biden would bring socialism.

Bill Barr is a toad. But apparently, not toadie enough. But apparently obtuse to his legacy, Barr wrote a resignation lettered that slobbered all over Trump’s ass.

Barr wrote to Trump, “Your record is all the more historic because you accomplished it in the face of relentless, implacable resistance.” Jesus, that’s the kind of shit you say when you want the job, not after you’ve been fired. He also wrote, “ou have restored American military strength. By brokering historic peace deals in the Mideast you have achieved what most thought impossible.” That wasn’t even his department. Hey, save some ass-kissing for Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo.

Barr took kissing Donald Trump’s ass to new heights. On CNN, he claimed China and Iran were greater threats meddling in our upcoming election than Russia. He ridiculously stated that pandemic restrictions were “the greatest intrusion on civil liberties” since slavery. Having to wear a facemask, eating outside a restaurant, or standing six feet from someone is worse than slavery? I’m sure that’s a popular view on Parler, but from the attorney general of the United States?

Barr leaving with less than 40 days left only means that Trump wants to demolish as much as possible before he’s gone. Barr is not leaving to “spend more time with his family during the holidays.”

I have high hopes that Joe Biden will not use the Justice Department to go after his enemies. But I do have high hopes Biden’s Justice Department pursues justice.

I hope the Justice Department investigates Barr’s involvement and legality in defending Donald Trump and violating the Hatch Act in campaigning for him. I hope the Justice Department pursues other Hatch Act violations, like White House employees and cabinet members campaigning for Trump and holding the Republican National Convention with giant MAGA signs on the White House lawn. I want investigations into Trump issuing pardons during the convention for political props. Future administrations need to be told that shit won’t fly.

Five seconds after Joe Biden completes his oath of office on January 20, 2021, I want to hear an announcement from the Southern District of New York and the New York state attorney that they are charging Donald Trump and his corrupt kids on a multitude of charges…that is, if they haven’t been pardoned by Trump (which won’t affect New York).

Donald Trump was America’s most corrupt president. William Barr was more than happy to assist and cover up that corruption. William Barr will go down as the worst attorney general in our history. And seeing how Donald Trump didn’t return Barr’s loyalty, he may also go down as the dumbest.

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A Mythical A.G.

cjones08012020

The thing that annoys me most about Republicans who have joined the Trump cult is they don’t have principles. They’re all about reduced government spending until Donald Trump runs up the national debt. They’re all about patriotism until Donald Trump insults veterans and allows Putin to place bounties on soldiers’ lives. They used to be about family values until Mr. five-kids-with-three-wives-pussy-grabber came along. They can’t find a principled position to take a stand on. Today, the sycophantic Qanon conspiracy theorists for Trump warns us all about the deep state lizard people, but if Donald Trump appointed a few lizard people to his administration, they’d all be like, “Thank you, President (sic) Trump, for the lizard people.”

And who says Donald Trump hasn’t appointed lizard people? They were all about draining the swamp but didn’t protest against him appointing campaign contributors to ambassadorships. They didn’t protest his cabinet members gifting themselves at our expense. They don’t protest Trump enriching himself on our dime. They don’t protest foreign diplomats staying at Trump hotels. They don’t protest Trump charging the Secret Service for golf cart rentals. Hell, they were even against a president playing golf until Donald Trump spent over $300 million of our money on his golf trips.

Maybe Donald Trump’s deep state lizard person is Attorney General William Barr. Trump sycophants worry about fictional corruption, like Hillary Clinton personally selling our uranium supply to Russia, but they ignore the Attorney General being Donald Trump’s personal goon who has transformed the Justice Department into the Donald Trump Personal Protection and Racketeering Agency.

While testifying before Congress and declaring he wasn’t Donald Trump’s personal poodle installed only to be his Roy Cohn, William Barr repeated several bullshit Trumpian talking points.

William Barr used the Donald Trump talking point that cops kill more white people than black people. There are more white people in the nation than black people. Statistically, cops kill more blacks. William Barr went to college. He has a law degree. He’s smart enough to know the talking point he crapped out of his mouth was pure and total grade-A racist bullshit.

Barr claimed President Obama spied on Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign. No, Obama did not. The FBI tracked a couple of suspected Russian spies who worked for the Trump campaign. That is not spying. If tracking on suspected Russian spies was spying on the Trump campaign, then what does that make the Trump campaign? It’s hard to say you’re not Trump’s personal attorney when your Justice Department, like Donald Trump, is more concerned about the well being of Russian spies than about the people investigating said spies.

William Barr repeated Donald Trump’s accusation that President Obama didn’t restock the nation’s stockpile of PPE, ignoring the fact Donald Trump has been president for over three years. After spending three years staring at your own empty closet, you can’t blame its emptiness on the guy who owned it before you. Again, it’s been three years. Are the salt shakers empty in the White House cafeteria? Are you going to blame Obama for that?

William Barr carried out Trump’s talking point that all Black Lives Matter protesters are violent which is why unidentified secret police are needed to invade American cities and teargas and hit Vietnam veterans and mothers over the heads with billy clubs.

William Barr repeated Trump’s claim he had “no responsibility” for testing failures which extend to Trump having no fault for the lack of any national plan to confront the virus or any blame for the death of over 150,000 Americans.

William Barr carried on the Trump talking point that mail-in voting was ripe for voter fraud…despite the fact he and Trump have both voted through that method.

Barr claimed the clearing of protesters with tear gas and goons on horses in front of the White House and Trump’s visit minutes later through the clearing to visit St. John’s church on June 1 were totally unrelated.

Finally, William Barr said “Antifa” about 98 times during the hearing. Here’s a fact for you: There is no such organization called “Antifa.”

Quite frankly, I’m shocked William Barr didn’t make a pitch to host the G7 at Doral and the British Open at Trump Turdberry.

William Barr can’t defend himself. The only legal cases he’s personally interjected himself into are those that concern Donald Trump’s goons.

He’s fired U.S. Attorneys investigating Donald Trump’s friends. He overruled his own department’s prosecutors and has asked a court to drop all charges against Michael Flynn (who’s probably a Russian spy). He recommended a sentence reduction for Trump goon Roger Stone before Donald Trump commuted his sentence.

During the hearing, Representative Eric Swalwell reminded Barr that during his confirmation, he said it would be a crime for a president to issue a pardon in exchange for the recipient’s promise to not incriminate him. When asked why he wasn’t investigating Donald Trump for issuing a commutation of his personal goon Roger Stone’s prison sentence, which was granted after Stone didn’t turn on Trump and even bragged that he lied to protect Donald Trump, William fucking Barr said, “Why should I?”. Because you’re the fucking Attorney General, asshole, and Roger Stone told you explicitly he broke the law to protect Donald Trump who then saved him from going to prison.

It was pointed out Barr has never personally intervened in a case involving someone who’s not a Trump goon. He’s never sought to throw out a sentence or have one reduced for anyone who’s not a GOT, Goon of Trump’s. He also pleaded ignorance to knowing any details about why Michael Cohen was sent back to prison for refusing to agree not to talk to the media or write a book on Donald Trump.

William Barr is a Trump goon. He also denied systemic racism exists in America’s police departments. How about the Justice Department? Representative Cedric Richmond pointed out that when Barr came to the hearing, he brought his top staff which didn’t include any black people. Richmond pointed out that’s systemic racism. At the start of the hearing, Barr paid his respects to civil rights icon John Lewis. Richmond told Barr, “You really should keep the name of the Honorable John Lewis out of the Department of Justice’s mouth.” Later, Senator Kamala Harris said, “Bill Barr hasn’t lifted a finger as Attorney General to protect voting rights in America. He has no business speaking John Lewis’s name.”

Even when he was asked if it would be “appropriate for a president to solicit assistance” from a foreign government during an election,” Barr said, “It depends on what kind of assistance” before backtracking and saying no. You know what kind of assistance. The illegal kind. That’s the only kind of foreign assistance to a presidential campaign. I’m not even a lawyer and I know that. Another thing I know that the Attorney General of the United Freaking States doesn’t is that a president canNOT move an election date.

It’s hard to declare your independence from Donald Trump when you repeat Donald Trump’s lying talking points and act as his fat human shield. William Barr is a liar and a Trump goon. He’s as corrupt as Donald Trump.

Quite frankly, we’d be safer with the lizard people.

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Back To Normal

cjones05132020

In 2009, President Barack Obama expressed his opinion about an arrest in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Republicans howled that the President of the United States shouldn’t stick his nose into situations like this and should just let the legal system play it out. How dare he.

What happened in Cambridge was the arrest of a college professor trying to get into a house. It was his house. He also happens to be black.

Back when an American president spoke honestly and with clarity, President Obama said, “I don’t know, not having been there and not seeing all the facts, what role race played in that. But I think it’s fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry; number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home, and, number three, what I think we know separate and apart from this incident is that there’s a long history in this country of African Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately.”

In 2012, after 17-year-old Trayvon Martin was killed by a wannabe Rambo for walking outside at night while being black and wearing a hoodie, President Obama said, “If I had a son, he would look like Trayvon.” Guess who got upset over that comment? White Republicans.

But you know what Obama never did? He never called the arresting officers or prosecutors “scum.”

Donald Trump, who unfortunately is the President (sic) of the United States, called the FBI officers involved in the Michael Flynn case, “human scum.” He also accused them of treason for pressing charges against a guy who was violating the Logan Act and attempted to thwart American foreign policy with a hostile nation that had just attacked our election. Michael Flynn was secretly talking to the Russian ambassador during the transition period between presidents. He was manipulating U.S. foreign policy. Then, he lied about it.

Are conservatives screaming for Trump to stay out of the case? Are they upset he called law enforcement “human scum?” These questions are rhetorical.

Michael Flynn is guilty. Like I wrote before, don’t take my word that he’s guilty. Take his. He pleaded guilty twice.

Two white men can kill a black man in Georgia, and not be charged until a video of the incident goes viral. The current president (sic) doesn’t have any comment on that but he has plenty to about the injustice being leveled at one of his treasonous goons. He said so much that his other goon, the Attorney General, drops all charges against the first goon who, let me remind you again, pleaded guilty twice.

With this pandemic, everyone wants the nation to get back to normal. For the two different justice systems we have in this nation, one for whites and one for blacks…it’s already there. In fact, it never changed.

Yesterday, Donald Trump called someone to crow about the Justice Department dropping charges against Flynn. He told the person on the other end of the phone call, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you see a lot of things happen over the next number of weeks.”

Who was Donald Trump talking to? Vladimir Putin.

Welcome to the new normal.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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Shave Your Toadyism

cjones05172019

William Barr is NOT acting as the Attorney General and is instead working as Donald Trump’s personal defender.

He deflected the Mueller Report. He held onto it for three weeks after he issued his misleading memo. When asked how Mueller felt about his memo, Barr lied and said he didn’t know despite having received two letters and one phone call from Mueller telling him that he didn’t like it. When I was a teenager, a girl’s father once threatened to shoot me if he ever caught me climbing into his daughter’s window again, but other than that comment I’m not sure how he felt about me.

Barr also quibbled when asked if anyone in the White House asked him to investigate the investigators. William Barr has engaged in a coverup and is now doing Donald Trump’s bidding, which is using the Justice Department to go after his political enemies.

The Justice Department is now investigating how the FBI conducted its investigation into Russia’s meddling and involvement in the Trump campaign. We’re now going after people for going after Russian spies.

Donald Trump promised during the presidential campaign that he would use the Justice Department to go after his political enemies. His first AG didn’t work out in that regard so he fired him to install a genuine toady in the position. This is where William Barr entered the picture.

Trump says we need to move on from the investigations into Russia. All investigations are bad except investigations into investigations.

We are now a banana republic without the bananas.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you.

Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.

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Embrace The Corruption

cjones11092018

For Donald Trump, the best way to end a probe into corruption is to engage in more corruption.

I published a cartoon September 25, predicting that Sessions would be fired right after the midterms. I re-shared it on social media to boast about my amazing abilities to predict the political future, and a lot of my readers complimented me on it too. But to be honest, it didn’t take the Amazing Kreskin or Miss Cleo to see this one coming. I was only half-right as Rod Rosenstein wasn’t fired, at least not yet. I was also off in believing Andrew Gillum had Florida, so I won’t be off to Vegas for a career in making wagers.

Trump didn’t have to fire Rosenstein as he put in a lackey to temporarily run the Justice Department. Typically, the Deputy Attorney General would be the interim director, but Trump made Sessions’ chief-of-staff, Matt Whitaker, the new head which directly puts him in charge of the Special Counsel’s investigation into the Russian investigation and Trump’s obstruction of justice.

As we have all come to know too well, Trump likes lackeys. He’s been upset with Sessions ever since he recused himself from the Russia investigation, despite it being the right thing to do. Trump said more than once that Sessions should have told him beforehand that he’d recuse himself so Trump could have hired someone else. That’s Trump admitting that any Attorney General should have seen he would come under investigation. That’s another thing you didn’t have to be Miss Cleo to see coming.

Trump wants someone in charge at Justice who will kiss his ring, pay homage, join the cult, and want the embrace. Trump gave a press conference yesterday blaming Republicans who lost their races on their refusal to embrace him. He even called them out by name, refusing to realize that each of the losses was his fault.

Whitaker wants the embrace. He’s written more than once and spoken on cable news about obstructing Robert Mueller’s investigation. He’s speculated about cutting Mueller’s funding and even accused him of “crossing a red line,” despite him not knowing where any lines are. The White House considered Whitaker their “eyes and ears” of the Justice Department, an agency they consider hostile toward Trump. Whitaker has referred to the investigation as a “lynch mob.”

Whitaker was also the campaign manager for Sam Clovis’ campaign for Iowa State Treasurer, who went on to work on the Trump campaign which made him a witness in the Russia investigation. Now, Whitaker is overseeing the Russia investigation where he can also inform Trump what Mueller is doing. Whitaker has conflicts of interest and needs to recuse himself. This is how you build an oligarchy.

Thankfully, the House will be led by Democrats who can issue subpoenas into Trump’s obstruction, collusion, corruption, and everything else shady he’s been doing. The House will now do the job the Republicans should have been doing. Trump lost Devin Nunes leading the Intelligence Committee, who would run to the White House to share committee information with Trump and leak memos to the press. But, Trump has a new Nunes to temporarily lead the Justice Department.

I wouldn’t trust Whitaker to manage a Taco Bell less enough the Justice Department. The integrity of Mueller’s investigation must remain intact, but we know Trump and his sycophants don’t do integrity.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you.

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Not Down With The Brown

cjones05112018

Just when you think Jeff Sessions is our hero and is the only stopgap between Democracy and Trump authoritarianism, and that he realizes the Justice Department is not the president’s personal goon squad designed to protect him, he does something to remind us that he’s still a backward troglodyte racist elf.

The Attorney General did the right thing by recusing himself from overseeing the Special Counsel’s Russia investigation, and he’s resisted pressure from Trump to fire Rod Rosenstein, Robert Mueller’s boss. He’s been harassed and bullied on Twitter by Trump. Devin Nunes is threatening him with contempt and Sean Hannity is publicly wondering if he’s part of the Deep State. You almost feel sorry for him until you remember he’s still an opponent of Civil Rights, marriage equality, and believes marijuana will kill you.

Don’t forget, Sessions was the first Senator to endorse Donald Trump. He proudly wore a very tiny Make America Great Again hat and sat on a booster seat at the same table as George Papadopoulos during their Russian collusion meetings.

On Monday, Sessions vowed to separate parents from their children who enter the country illegally. Proving he doesn’t have much of a heart in that itty-bitty tiny frame of his. At some I-Hate-Gringos-Photo-Op in Arizona, Sessions said, “If you are smuggling a child then we will prosecute you, and that child will be separated from you as required by law. If you don’t like that then don’t smuggle children over our border.” And then he said, “raggle raggle raggle” and stole some hamburgers.

Did you hear that future illegal immigrants? If you must sneak across our border, leave your children behind in the desert with rattlesnakes and banditos.

Sessions made his comments on the same day Melania Trump unveiled her “Be Best” program, where she said “Children deserve every opportunity to enjoy their innocence…unless they’re filthy little buggers their parents sneaked across the border.” OK, she only said the first half of that, but the second part is the policy of her husband’s administration. But, it’s not Melania’s fault if she is unaware of Trump’s policies since she’s usually not even aware, or interested of where he is. Melania’s “Be Best” program runs counter to Trump’s “Be An Asshole” program.

When the administration arrests someone who has entered the nation illegally, the children are transferred to the Office of Refugee Resettlement, part of the Department of Health and Human Services, which refers them to relatives in the U.S. or to shelters run by private organizations. Basically, they’re creating orphans.

The Department of Homeland Security says 700 children have been separated from their parents since the fiscal year began last October. Last week, Sessions sent 35 prosecutors and 18 immigration judges to the border to deal with border crossing cases. Apparently, there are not enough Border Patrol agents to dump out the water that humanitarian groups leave for immigrants in the desert.

You wonder if they really hate people who don’t look like them, or they’re just throwing red meat to their base, or both.

People south of our border love their children as much as we love ours. In fact, bringing them to the United States shows how much they want a better life for their kids.

Their kids too deserve every opportunity to enjoy their innocence, and not to be punished by a hateful elf.

Here’s the video.

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Mellow Harshing Sessions

cjones01062018

I don’t like marijuana. A lot of people in my profession are afraid to admit they ever smoked the stuff in the past, just in case they’re going to transport to 1992 and run for president. I don’t care who knows it. I smoked it on a fairly frequent basis as a teen despite not really liking it.

It wasn’t so much a peer pressure thing as it was just what we did. If I was hanging out with one friend, pot didn’t turn up. If there was a group, then there was pot. At some point, I decided I just wasn’t going to do it anymore. That was probably the day I gave a dealer a ride home, and he lost a joint in my car and he wouldn’t leave until he found it. But, after I decided not to do it anymore I discovered something. Nobody cared.

I didn’t face a backlash. I didn’t lose friends. No one thought I wasn’t cool anymore, maybe because I wasn’t really cool to begin with, but my life didn’t change. At some point, when the doobie was passed around (do we still call them “doobies?”), everyone would just bypass me instead of asking if I wanted a hit. People who do pot tend to be very friendly and generous while smoking. While I have hung out with a lot of people while they were smoking (remember, I have been in bands), I never cared either. I usually liked the aroma and smelling it was a part of band practice.

While I don’t like pot I know I can’t debate you into not liking it. I don’t care if you love it. I think the stuff is mostly harmless and more beneficial to people who need it for an illness. Marijuana should be legal, medically and recreationally. Voters in several states agree.

While marijuana is legal in states like Colorado, Washington, and now California, it’s still illegal federally. Obama handled this situation by telling the federal government to chill out and leave those states along. Candidate Donald Trump said he would continue the same policy. Candidate Donald Trump is a liar.

While Donald Trump attempts to exert strict control over the Justice Department and Attorney General Jeff Sessions over investigations into his corruption, believing they exist to serve him, he hasn’t lifted a finger of the AG’s decision to end Obama’s policy on marijuana.

Sessions rescinded an Obama-era policy that discouraged federal prosecutors in most cases from bringing charges wherever marijuana is legal. Sessions has long been a critic of marijuana.

I have never done illegal drugs in my life. I can say that because marijuana is not a drug. It’s organic. I’m not one to say everyone should try everything before they oppose it, but Jeff Sessions could use one good high. The experience would educate him that the stuff is harmless (even if he doesn’t like it), and you really shouldn’t worry about other people doing it. But, since they can’t freak out over what gay people do in their bedrooms anymore that doesn’t involve them, Republicans have this to scrutinize.

If anything, the legalizing of weed in states has proven wrong every fear there was about legalizing it. Crime hasn’t increased, people aren’t tripping off buildings, folks aren’t driving their cars into preschools, etc. It’s been a boom for state budgets and entrepreneurs.

It’s been far more expensive criminalizing marijuana over the decades. If the Charleston can go out of style from the 1920s, then why can’t prohibition?

It’s also very hypocritical of an old, Southern, racist redneck that used to get hysterical over state’s rights to now want to crack down on something that doesn’t hurt anyone.

Again, I’m going to advocate that Jeff Sessions needs to get high. Now, I don’t expect him to fire up a blunt, but perhaps we can put some into a Keebler cookie. That sounds like it’d be right up his tree.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to see a stoned Jeff Sessions doing the Charleston? That’s gonna be in my head all day.

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Hating Jeff’s Cookies

cjones07272017

A flaming bag of poo may be the perfect metaphor for the Trump administration.

Jeff Sessions wasn’t just one of the first elected officials to endorse Donald Trump for president, he was the first United States Senator to back Trump. Sessions looked at Trump and saw narcissism, ignorance, stupidity, sexism, and racism and said, “that’s what I want for a president.” It was probably the racism that got him.

Sessions introduced Trump at one of his earliest rallies, which was in Mobile, Alabama. He was in so deep with the Trump campaign that he was secretly meeting Russians for Trump. He later forgot to mention meeting these Russians during his confirmation hearings. Sessions was in so tight with Trump, that he committed perjury for him.

Trump was so appreciative of Sessions’ support, he awarded him with the job of Attorney General after his first two choices backed out (turns out Matlock is fictional). What a guy.

Since Trump is one of those “what have you done for me lately?” kinda guys, his love for Sessions has gone soft. Some would say it’s entirely limp. It’s flaccid. It’s dysfunctional. It’s not getting back up anytime soon.

Trump is really upset that Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation, and his deputy appointed a Special Counsel to investigate the president’s collusion with Russia.

Trump says if Sessions had told him before he was appointed AG that he would recuse himself, then Trump would not have appointed him. Unless Sessions and Trump plotted the Russia collusion together and one of them said “we might be investigated for this,” then how was Sessions to know there would be a need for an investigation?

Trump says Sessions should not have recused himself. Sessions should not have had to recuse himself because he shouldn’t be Attorney General. We also shouldn’t have a president neck-deep in Putin’s anus, but what ya’ gonna do?

Trump values loyalty. It’s something that he keeps bringing up. He puts great stock in people being loyal to him, but not in his own loyalty. He expects loyalty to be placed above the law. The law is what Sessions followed in recusing himself and that’s chapped Trump’s orange ass.

Trump sold out Sean Spicer and now he’s selling out Sessions. He’s conducted a tweet storm against the guy and questioning why he’s not using his position for political retribution to go after his opponent from the presidential campaign and the former FBI director.

If Trump fires Sessions, it won’t be just because he’s angry. It’ll be to thwart the Special Counsel’s investigation. Trump can’t fire Robert Mueller. He has to tell his appointees in the Justice Department to do that dirty work. The firing would have to be done by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein unless Trump fires him too. Trump’s already expressed concern that Rosenstein is from liberal Baltimore, even though he’s not.

This issue is another reason to pay close attention to what the Republicans are doing in the Senate with their health-care bill. They’re ramming several versions through for a vote. If they all fail, then the Senate will be able to say they tried, and then go on recess and hang out on the beach like Chris Christie. It’s during this recess that Trump could fire Sessions and make a recess appointment, which won’t need Senate confirmation. However, that appointment can only be made if the recess is to last longer than ten days and the Senate may fight it. While the Republicans love Trump, and they control the Senate calendar, they also love Sessions who was previously one of them.

Firing Sessions may be the final act to anger Republicans in Congress. Trump has already fired an FBI director to stop the investigation into Russia, and that action made it worse. Firing more people to end the investigation will only heighten the need to investigate, and perhaps remove Trump from office. We’re already on the highway to a Constitutional crisis.

I’m all for removing an Attorney General who doesn’t believe in justice for minorities or Civil Rights, but I’m not for obstruction of justice. Someone does need to be removed from office and that person is the president.

Trump, focusing on what’s “fair” to him and only him, says it’s unfair to the president that the Attorney General recused himself. What is unfair is that we have to live through the administration of an unqualified president who wants to rule, not govern, and places himself above the law.

Russian To Lie

cjones03022017

Attorney General Jeff Sessions sat before the United States senate during his confirmation hearings and committed perjury. Sessions lied to Congress.

During the presidential campaign Jeff Sessions was an early advocate for Donald Trump. He was on that bandwagon early and sported a Make America Great Again hat every chance he could find one made for a child-sized head.

On Wednesday evening The New York Times reported that surrogates for the Trump campaign met with Russian officials in European cities during the campaign. They also reported that the Obama administration scattered information throughout the government on the Russian hacking, so the incoming Trump administration couldn’t erase or conceal it. Smart. How obvious is it that the Trump administration isn’t just implicit with this, but that they’d engage in a cover-up?

Shortly after the Times story was published The Washington Post reported that Jeff Sessions met with the Russian ambassador TWICE. Sessions met with the ambassador once in his senate office and another time in Cleveland at the Republican National Convention. He says he never talked about the campaign with the Russians. It’s a little hard to believe that the campaign didn’t come up in a conversation during the convention in Cleveland. What did they talk about? Lebron James? Will the Browns ever find a quarterback? Why aren’t the Moody Blues in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame? Because they suck.

From the Post (about Jeff Sessions, not the Moody Blues):

At his Jan. 10 Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing, Sessions was asked by Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) what he would do if he learned of any evidence that anyone affiliated with the Trump campaign communicated with the Russian government in the course of the 2016 campaign.

“I’m not aware of any of those activities,” he responded. He added: “I have been called a surrogate at a time or two in that campaign and I did not have communications with the Russians.”

That sounds like a lie. Franken did not ask if he (Sessions) himself had talked to the Russians. Sessions voluntarily described himself as a surrogate and that he “did not have communications with the Russians.” That’s a lie. That’s not misleading. That’s not parsing words. That’s not tip-toeing through the tulips. That’s not an alternative fact. That’s a huge lie. Sessions is an attorney who has probably prosecuted people for far less so he would know it’s a lie.

She persisted

cjones02102017

The U.S. Senate has a rule that senators are not allowed to criticize their colleagues by name on the senate floor. It’s a rule they usually ignore.

They ignored it when Ted Cruz called Majority Leader Mitch McConnell a liar (to be fair, most people ignore Ted Cruz). They ignored it when Republicans accused Minority Leader Chuck Schumer of having “crocodile tears.” They finally enforced it when a female senator read a letter from a black woman criticizing Senator and now Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

Senator Elizabeth Warren read a 30-year-old letter from Coretta Scott King opposing Sessions when he was nominated for a judgeship by Ronald Reagan. Mitch McConnell shut her down and later said “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.” Those statements have now become a rallying cry. Millions of women protested Donald Trump worldwide his first weekend as president. Do you really wanna give them a new rallying cry?

Furthering their hypocrisy, Senator Tom Udall of New Mexico read the same letter the next day without being interrupted.

The rule, titled Rule XIX, may be a decent rule for procedure, but should probably be put aside when the senator being criticized is a nominee for a cabinet position. It’s just an excuse to kill debate. It especially looks bad when you come off telling a female to shut up, which has never worked out for any male in the history of forever. It especially doesn’t work out when the woman is smarter than you.

If Republicans don’t like women who persist, they probably shouldn’t tell them to shut up. They’re in for a rude awakening.

Creative note: I had a lot of fun with this cartoon. It’s not everyday I get to draw a Mason jar, bug zapper, raccoon, rooster, and a man-turtle in a wife-beater. I know it’s an ugly term, but I didn’t come up with it and you know what I’m talking about when I use it.

I spent about five hours on this cartoon. The Bear cartoon from yesterday has been shared over 500 times on Facebook alone. Can we do better with this cartoon? I believe in you.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

Attorney General

Buy-Bye, Billy

A Mythical A.G.

Back To Normal

Shave Your Toadyism

Embrace The Corruption

Not Down With The Brown

Mellow Harshing Sessions

Hating Jeff’s Cookies

Russian To Lie

She persisted