Justice Department

From Trump World To Wally World


cjones02142018

Rachel Brand is not stupid.

Brand is the Associate Attorney General and the third-ranking official in the Trump/Sessions Justice Department. That means, if Trump gets rid of Rod Rosenstein then Brand would take oversight of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation.

Dealing with the Special Counsel is one thing. Dealing with Donald Trump’s public bullying, threats, and temper tantrums is another. Brand is saying no thank you and she’s out the door. Where is she going? She’s going to Walmart.

While it is speculation her resignation is due to the danger of Rosenstein being fired giving her the oversight, there are sources who claim that’s the very reason she’s leaving.

Brand is a career public servant. She is a Republican who has worked in very high positions at the Justice Department during the George W. Bush and Obama administrations. She was appointed as Associate Attorney General by Trump just nine months ago.

Sources say Brand grew frustrated by vacancies at the department and feared she would be asked to oversee the Russia investigation.

While professionals like Brand are bailing, Trump still has the “best people” he promised to hire which consists of an assortment of clueless family members, former glamour models, and wife beaters.

The Justice Department claims the rumors aren’t true that Brand is leaving because of Trump and that it’s just too good of an opportunity to turn down. An opportunity at Walmart.

Sure, she won’t actually be a greeter and will assume a very high-paying position with the company. But someone with a resume like Brand’s probably receives offers from the private sector on a frequent basis. Wouldn’t you assume upon taking a position at the Justice Department that you’re making a commitment that no high-paying job offer could break? At the very least, you wouldn’t plan on bailing in nine months.

What is a fact is that Trump is beating up on the FBI and Justice Department. The Republican Congress has joined in. The ridiculous memo crafted by Devin Nunes attacks five top law enforcement officials who signed off on the allegedly abusive monitoring of former Trump campaign adviser Carter Page, and four of them are no longer in the same positions. Only Rosenstein remains…for now.

My mother would have been super proud if I took a high-paying job at Walmart. She would have thought it was a step up from the Justice Department. My mother loved Walmart. When I lived in Hawaii, every time she called me she asked if I had found “the” Walmart yet. It was never “Walmart.” It was always “THE Walmart.” Screw the weather, volcanoes, Waikiki, and the North Shore. Had I found THE Walmart? If my mother had visited me, we would have had to go to Walmart straight from the airport. That’s what we did when she visited me in Virginia…and where we went the next day, and the next, and the next. I went to Walmart every day for two weeks. Not everyone shares my mom’s enthusiasm for Walmart.

Some people are taking issue with Brand’s departure. Matthew Miller, former spokesperson for the department during the Obama administration tweeted, “I admire Brand, but this doesn’t speak well of her. If she sees trouble coming for Mueller, the responsible course of action would be to stay and stand up for him. Country needs patriots in times like this.”

He also tweeted, “as a former DOJ colleague said to me, you take these jobs expecting them to be tough. You don’t leave just because they turn out to be.”

It is tough. Trump has made Jeff Sessions’ life a living hell since the Attorney General recused himself from the Russia investigation. He’s done the same to Rosenstein, James Comey, and Andrew McCabe. Trump is a horrible person to work for as he demands loyalty and for those in law enforcement to defy their oath to be his personal protection service. Even Trump’s longtime personal bodyguard has quit.

I agree with Miller. Now is the time we need good and decent people to stand between us and Trump and his sycophants trying to circumvent the rule of law and allow Russia to threaten this nation.

This nation needs people like Brand to protect it. Walmart can wait.

Today’s video. I had a horrible time creating this cartoon and you’re gonna wanna hear about it.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

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Mellow Harshing Sessions


cjones01062018

I don’t like marijuana. A lot of people in my profession are afraid to admit they ever smoked the stuff in the past, just in case they’re going to transport to 1992 and run for president. I don’t care who knows it. I smoked it on a fairly frequent basis as a teen despite not really liking it.

It wasn’t so much a peer pressure thing as it was just what we did. If I was hanging out with one friend, pot didn’t turn up. If there was a group, then there was pot. At some point, I decided I just wasn’t going to do it anymore. That was probably the day I gave a dealer a ride home, and he lost a joint in my car and he wouldn’t leave until he found it. But, after I decided not to do it anymore I discovered something. Nobody cared.

I didn’t face a backlash. I didn’t lose friends. No one thought I wasn’t cool anymore, maybe because I wasn’t really cool to begin with, but my life didn’t change. At some point, when the doobie was passed around (do we still call them “doobies?”), everyone would just bypass me instead of asking if I wanted a hit. People who do pot tend to be very friendly and generous while smoking. While I have hung out with a lot of people while they were smoking (remember, I have been in bands), I never cared either. I usually liked the aroma and smelling it was a part of band practice.

While I don’t like pot I know I can’t debate you into not liking it. I don’t care if you love it. I think the stuff is mostly harmless and more beneficial to people who need it for an illness. Marijuana should be legal, medically and recreationally. Voters in several states agree.

While marijuana is legal in states like Colorado, Washington, and now California, it’s still illegal federally. Obama handled this situation by telling the federal government to chill out and leave those states along. Candidate Donald Trump said he would continue the same policy. Candidate Donald Trump is a liar.

While Donald Trump attempts to exert strict control over the Justice Department and Attorney General Jeff Sessions over investigations into his corruption, believing they exist to serve him, he hasn’t lifted a finger of the AG’s decision to end Obama’s policy on marijuana.

Sessions rescinded an Obama-era policy that discouraged federal prosecutors in most cases from bringing charges wherever marijuana is legal. Sessions has long been a critic of marijuana.

I have never done illegal drugs in my life. I can say that because marijuana is not a drug. It’s organic. I’m not one to say everyone should try everything before they oppose it, but Jeff Sessions could use one good high. The experience would educate him that the stuff is harmless (even if he doesn’t like it), and you really shouldn’t worry about other people doing it. But, since they can’t freak out over what gay people do in their bedrooms anymore that doesn’t involve them, Republicans have this to scrutinize.

If anything, the legalizing of weed in states has proven wrong every fear there was about legalizing it. Crime hasn’t increased, people aren’t tripping off buildings, folks aren’t driving their cars into preschools, etc. It’s been a boom for state budgets and entrepreneurs.

It’s been far more expensive criminalizing marijuana over the decades. If the Charleston can go out of style from the 1920s, then why can’t prohibition?

It’s also very hypocritical of an old, Southern, racist redneck that used to get hysterical over state’s rights to now want to crack down on something that doesn’t hurt anyone.

Again, I’m going to advocate that Jeff Sessions needs to get high. Now, I don’t expect him to fire up a blunt, but perhaps we can put some into a Keebler cookie. That sounds like it’d be right up his tree.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to see a stoned Jeff Sessions doing the Charleston? That’s gonna be in my head all day.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Cracker Justice


cjones08062017

I miss the days of yonder when we had a Justice Department that would actually pursue justice, and not act like the legal team for cops who shoot black people and white people who have pretend grievances.

After George W. Bush was reelected in 2004, many Republicans believed that would be the last election they could win without support from minorities. In order to win in the future, they would have to expand their base beyond angry white people. Donald Trump came along and proved everyone, including myself, wrong. You can win a national election without much support from minorities, as long as you can get a select group of Castro-hating Cubans in Miami to vote for you, and you make the rest of your campaign really, really, really, really, racist. We’re talking about white nationalist xenophobic shit. You want to appeal to the angry dumb white people who can’t spell “xenophobic.”

And now it’s paying off. The Trump administration is preparing to redirect resources of the Justice Department’s civil rights division toward investigating and suing universities over affirmative action admissions policies deemed to discriminate against white applicants, according to a document obtained by The New York Times.

The announcement suggests that the project will be run out of the division’s front office, where the Trump administration’s political appointees (hacks) work, rather than its Educational Opportunities Section, which is run by career civil servants (rational people who know stuff) and normally handles work involving schools and universities.

Trump ran a campaign on building walls, keeping out brown people, screaming at judges of Mexican-descent, spying on mosques, calling Mexicans “rapists” and “murderers,” and occasionally, encouraging his supporters to beat up black people at his rallies. They had such a good time that today, they’re still doing it. They’re still holding hate rallies even though the next election isn’t for another three years. It’s a real hootenanny (that’s white slang for “fun”).

Despite controlling every important institution in America, economic, political, social, entertainment, etc, a lot of white people feel they’re discriminated against. Thankfully for them, since they do control every system in this nation, they can do something about it. For instance, they put a Southern racist from Alabama in charge of the Justice Department.

Normally, for white people and conservative media to sell this idea that they’re disenfranchised, they have to make shit up. Reagan had to tell the fictional story of the black welfare queen in Chicago. Breitbart will tell you immigrants in this nation illegally, who can’t speak English are voting and receiving food stamps. Trump tells you three million “illegals” voted. Fox News gives the impression that Black Lives Matter is not an organization wishing police would treat black people the same way they treat white people, but a terrorist organization plotting to kill Whitey. Obamaphones are free phones given to black people, even though the program that provides phone service to low-income Americans has existed for decades before the Obama presidency. But, conservatives are good at making shit up.

For example, Trump tells his base he’s going to build a wall on our border with Mexico and Mexico will pay for it. In reality, Trump tells the Mexican president that it’s not an important issue, but he needs the lie to persist to satisfy his base of stupid people. And, they are stupid. Despite Trump being exposed as a liar they still attended his rally in West Virginia to scream about Hillary Clinton and “fake news.”

Trump also knows his new legal immigration policy that will give preference to rich, white immigrants who speak English, will never be enacted. He just needed to get the most racist member of his administration to pitch the policy to the media. If he was actually serious about this policy becoming law he would have had someone present it who did not look like a cross-burning Voldemort.

A lot of white people believe that “cracker” is a racial slur. It’s not, and there aren’t really any good racial slurs aimed at white people. Racism is a social institution that white people have run in this nation. White people were the oppressors, not the oppressed. We discriminated. We enslaved. White people did the lynching. Seriously.

A 2015 report by the Equal Justice Initiative says there were 3,959 African-Americans lynched in a dozen Southern states between 1877 and 1950. So, shut up, white people. We kinda lost any right to be offended by a slur aimed at our race. Seriously, if someone called me a “honky” in an argument, I’d probably laugh so hard that I’d forget what we were arguing about.

According to Ancestry.com, I’m 99% white. That’s really white. That gives me the clearance to tell my people we did a lot of bad shit. I also believe more white people should be honest about the history of race in this nation, and where it stands today. Hopefully, I’m one of them. I’m also cursed in that I’m a liberal, and we don’t make shit up. We kinda have to use facts and knowledge. Yeah, it sucks. They can scream about welfare queens, Acorn, and illegal voters and I have to actually read stuff.

I’ve been accused of having “white-liberal guilt.” It’s a fair accusation because I am guilty of being the beneficiary of white privilege my entire life. It hasn’t made me rich, but it’s also prevented me from being beaten up by 17 cops for having an expired inspection sticker. So yeah, I’m guilty.

Now, I may have lost the privilege of eating at Cracker Barrel. Oops.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Hating Jeff’s Cookies


cjones07272017

A flaming bag of poo may be the perfect metaphor for the Trump administration.

Jeff Sessions wasn’t just one of the first elected officials to endorse Donald Trump for president, he was the first United States Senator to back Trump. Sessions looked at Trump and saw narcissism, ignorance, stupidity, sexism, and racism and said, “that’s what I want for a president.” It was probably the racism that got him.

Sessions introduced Trump at one of his earliest rallies, which was in Mobile, Alabama. He was in so deep with the Trump campaign that he was secretly meeting Russians for Trump. He later forgot to mention meeting these Russians during his confirmation hearings. Sessions was in so tight with Trump, that he committed perjury for him.

Trump was so appreciative of Sessions’ support, he awarded him with the job of Attorney General after his first two choices backed out (turns out Matlock is fictional). What a guy.

Since Trump is one of those “what have you done for me lately?” kinda guys, his love for Sessions has gone soft. Some would say it’s entirely limp. It’s flaccid. It’s dysfunctional. It’s not getting back up anytime soon.

Trump is really upset that Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation, and his deputy appointed a Special Counsel to investigate the president’s collusion with Russia.

Trump says if Sessions had told him before he was appointed AG that he would recuse himself, then Trump would not have appointed him. Unless Sessions and Trump plotted the Russia collusion together and one of them said “we might be investigated for this,” then how was Sessions to know there would be a need for an investigation?

Trump says Sessions should not have recused himself. Sessions should not have had to recuse himself because he shouldn’t be Attorney General. We also shouldn’t have a president neck-deep in Putin’s anus, but what ya’ gonna do?

Trump values loyalty. It’s something that he keeps bringing up. He puts great stock in people being loyal to him, but not in his own loyalty. He expects loyalty to be placed above the law. The law is what Sessions followed in recusing himself and that’s chapped Trump’s orange ass.

Trump sold out Sean Spicer and now he’s selling out Sessions. He’s conducted a tweet storm against the guy and questioning why he’s not using his position for political retribution to go after his opponent from the presidential campaign and the former FBI director.

If Trump fires Sessions, it won’t be just because he’s angry. It’ll be to thwart the Special Counsel’s investigation. Trump can’t fire Robert Mueller. He has to tell his appointees in the Justice Department to do that dirty work. The firing would have to be done by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein unless Trump fires him too. Trump’s already expressed concern that Rosenstein is from liberal Baltimore, even though he’s not.

This issue is another reason to pay close attention to what the Republicans are doing in the Senate with their health-care bill. They’re ramming several versions through for a vote. If they all fail, then the Senate will be able to say they tried, and then go on recess and hang out on the beach like Chris Christie. It’s during this recess that Trump could fire Sessions and make a recess appointment, which won’t need Senate confirmation. However, that appointment can only be made if the recess is to last longer than ten days and the Senate may fight it. While the Republicans love Trump, and they control the Senate calendar, they also love Sessions who was previously one of them.

Firing Sessions may be the final act to anger Republicans in Congress. Trump has already fired an FBI director to stop the investigation into Russia, and that action made it worse. Firing more people to end the investigation will only heighten the need to investigate, and perhaps remove Trump from office. We’re already on the highway to a Constitutional crisis.

I’m all for removing an Attorney General who doesn’t believe in justice for minorities or Civil Rights, but I’m not for obstruction of justice. Someone does need to be removed from office and that person is the president.

Trump, focusing on what’s “fair” to him and only him, says it’s unfair to the president that the Attorney General recused himself. What is unfair is that we have to live through the administration of an unqualified president who wants to rule, not govern, and places himself above the law.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Laughable Justice


cjones05092017

During the confirmation hearings for Jeff Sessions as Attorney General, his Senate colleague and fellow Alabaman Richard Shelby said that Sessions’ history of “treating all Americans equally under the law is clear and well-documented.” Did you just laugh? Desiree Fairooz did.

Fairooz was in attendance as a member of the Code Pink activists group to protest Sessions’ nomination. Her laughter can barely be heard in footage of the event. Of course conservatives didn’t find it funny at all probably because it wasn’t a black joke.

The Justice Department wasn’t amused either and is literally prosecuting her for laughing at their leader. During her trial this week Session’s Justice Department argued that “the laugh amounted to willful ‘disorderly and disruptive conduct’ intended to ‘impede, disrupt, and disturb the orderly conduct’ of congressional proceedings.” They claim that “the laugh was extraordinarily disruptive,” with a US Capitol Police officer claiming that Fairooz laughed “very loudly and people in the hearings turned around when they heard it.” Video footage proves that’s not true.

The jury threw out the charges against her laughing and instead convicted her for disrupting the hearing, which she only did after a Capitol policeman grabbed her and threw her out.

Fairooz faces a fine and actual jail time for laughing at Jeff Sessions which is really going to suck for the rest of us because laughing at Jeff Sessions is the only way to prevent yourself from the night terrors that he’s actually in charge of our Justice Department. You would think that by this point in his life that Sessions would be used to people laughing at him.

There are times when the humorless Justice Department does lighten up. An example from this week is their refusal to charge two white police officers who shot and killed Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The officers shot Sterling, who is black, six times. The incident was caught on video which went viral. The final shots were into Sterling’s back. The two officers had Sterling pinned to the ground when they shot him.

In the cops’ defense, neither one was laughing.

Creative note: One of you guys commented on this blog the last time I picked on Jeff Sessions and expressed unhappiness that I made short jokes and referred to Sessions as “elfish.”

When I first started at The Free Lance-Star my editor got upset with me one day for drawing a large city councilman as a large person. He said that we don’t make fun of people’s appearances. I pointed out that every cartoon he ever approved had made fun of someone’s appearance.

Jeff Sessions isn’t elfish just for his height. He’s elfish partly for his height, or lack of, his ears, and his stature and personality. I’m going to keep drawing sessions in high chairs and sitting and standing on books. Not because I’m Randy Newman and think short people “got no reason to live,” but because it’s too much fun.

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What Would Nixon Do?


cjones02022017

What would Nixon do? Why he’d do something like what Trump did, which is fire the attorney general. The “acting” attorney general in this case.

Sally Yates was a holdover from the Obama administration. She was asked by the Trump administration to serve as acting attorney general to bridge the gap between Loretta Lynch and Trump’s nominee, Jeff Sessions.

Her tenure was expected to be short and non-controversial. Her service was intended to keep the Justice Department’s trains running on time, so to speak. It’s not like a constitutional crisis would erupt, like the president enacting a ban on refugees based upon their religion. That would be just crazy.

The attorney general is the lead attorney for the American people, not the president. Sally Yates understands this and when Trump issued an executive order banning Muslim refugees from seven nations, Yates issued an order to her department not to enforce the unconstitutional measure.

Trump reacted by firing her and informing her of the firing two minutes before they announced it to the public. In the statement from the White House they said that Yates “betrayed” the Department of Justice by refusing to enforce Trump’s ban.

No, Mr. President. You betrayed the American people by violating the United States Constitution, which is something you swore to uphold and protect.

Trump’s administration says this is not a ban on Muslims. During the campaign he said “Donald Trump is calling for a ban on Muslims.” When he announced the ban last week he said it was a “ban.” Now they’re blaming the press for using the word “ban.” That’s more of those “alternative facts” the Trump team loves so well.

Our nation is not under a threat by allowing immigrants into it. In fact, none of the most recent attacks in this nation from terrorists would have been stopped by this ban. Trump’s defenders say we need a better vetting process, despite there not being evidence or examples of the current process not working. What’s not working and is a threat to this nation is the Trump presidency.

In 1973 President Richard Nixon wanted his attorney general to fire special prosecutor Archibald Cox who was investigating Watergate and was about to subpoena the president for tapes from the Oval Office. Instead of following the president’s orders, Elliot Richardson resigned as attorney general. The deputy attorney general also refused to follow orders and Nixon fired him in what became known as the “Saturday Night Massacre.” Sound familiar?

I drew Nixon about a month ago. Something tells me I may end up drawing him again during the Trump administration, whether that lasts four years or four more weeks. For what it’s worth, I’m really getting tired of drawing Trump. Steve Bannon on the other hand, some people punch Nazis, I draw them.

And what’s the deal with Donald Trump holding and displaying his executive orders for the cameras like it’s something he’s proud of that he made in the toilet? What a narcissist.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Rahm Matters


cjones12112015

I grew up in several states. I was born in Texas but Louisiana was home. My mother also dragged me to Georgia, California and Illinois. My first memories are from living in Elgin which is about 50 miles from Chicago. I attended several games at Wrigley and was a Cubs fan before I even knew there were other teams. I will always be interested in what’s going on in the Chicagoland region.

Watching mayor Rahm Emanuel squirm underneath the political heat lamp is especially interesting.

Mr. Mayor Didn’t seem very interested in the police shooting of 17-year-old Laquan McDonald. This is where police shot McDonald 16 times, 14 times while he was on the ground. It took 13 months for the officer to be charged and the video to be released, which the mayor fought against. There was a rush to settle with the family before the officer responsible was even charged or there was a lawsuit (which sounds more like paying hush money than admitting guilt).

The mayor stated that he had not watched the video before it was released. Did he not have any interest in the case? His constituents have been yelling at him for over a year and he doesn’t get around to watch the evidence of what they’re screaming about? This is a leader?

After the video came out, proving the police union wrong with the self-defense defense, the mayor fired the police chief. That did not put an end to the calls for Emanuel’s resignation. If fact they’ve only increased. Now the Justice Department is going to investigate Chicago’s police force.

There really isn’t a procedure on the books to impeach a mayor (as Rahm is not going to resign). Now a state representative has introduced a bill in Illinois’ legislature to recall the mayor.

Rahm is not going to resign unless all his money backers tell him to. It will have to get very loud in Chicago before that happens. It may yet happen. The best route will be a recall vote. I don’t think the legislature is going to have any problem creating a law to recall Rahm. Soon it will be up to the voters.

But hey, go Cubs.

This cartoon was tedious to draw. A lot of cartoonists use a computer program to do the white lettering with a black background. I do it old school as it’s all by hand. I don’t do that because it’s better or out of a sense of morals or purity. I do it by hand because the computer drawing method doesn’t really work for me. I think a lot of cartoonists are doing amazing work on computers. It would be nice to never have to buy paper, pens, pencils or erasers again or have to wash correction fluid off my skin, clothes, and Beagle. After 25 years of doing this, I think I’m too old for new tricks and I really hate learning software stuff. I have very little patience.

When I started my career a cartoon would take four to five hours to draw. Over time it got down to two hours on average. For some reason it’s taking a lot more time for me to draw cartoons. I don’t think I’ve drawn anything this week in less than four hours. I gave myself additional work with this one because I originally just had the mayor’s name on the desk. While waiting for the toon to dry and walking Chubbs The Beagle, I got the idea to make the sign say “#RahmMatters.” That required more correction fluid, a separate sheet of paper (cheap copy paper for that purpose), and cut and pasting. The real pain in the butt was drawing the hashtag symbol and every “S.”

A colleague has been doing live streams of drawing his cartoons. I don’t know if readers would be interested enough to watch someone draw for two hours. It interests other cartoonists, who don’t have the two hours to watch. I wonder if my readers would be interested in seeing something like that from me. Doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!