Sessions

Hating Jeff’s Cookies


cjones07272017

A flaming bag of poo may be the perfect metaphor for the Trump administration.

Jeff Sessions wasn’t just one of the first elected officials to endorse Donald Trump for president, he was the first United States Senator to back Trump. Sessions looked at Trump and saw narcissism, ignorance, stupidity, sexism, and racism and said, “that’s what I want for a president.” It was probably the racism that got him.

Sessions introduced Trump at one of his earliest rallies, which was in Mobile, Alabama. He was in so deep with the Trump campaign that he was secretly meeting Russians for Trump. He later forgot to mention meeting these Russians during his confirmation hearings. Sessions was in so tight with Trump, that he committed perjury for him.

Trump was so appreciative of Sessions’ support, he awarded him with the job of Attorney General after his first two choices backed out (turns out Matlock is fictional). What a guy.

Since Trump is one of those “what have you done for me lately?” kinda guys, his love for Sessions has gone soft. Some would say it’s entirely limp. It’s flaccid. It’s dysfunctional. It’s not getting back up anytime soon.

Trump is really upset that Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation, and his deputy appointed a Special Counsel to investigate the president’s collusion with Russia.

Trump says if Sessions had told him before he was appointed AG that he would recuse himself, then Trump would not have appointed him. Unless Sessions and Trump plotted the Russia collusion together and one of them said “we might be investigated for this,” then how was Sessions to know there would be a need for an investigation?

Trump says Sessions should not have recused himself. Sessions should not have had to recuse himself because he shouldn’t be Attorney General. We also shouldn’t have a president neck-deep in Putin’s anus, but what ya’ gonna do?

Trump values loyalty. It’s something that he keeps bringing up. He puts great stock in people being loyal to him, but not in his own loyalty. He expects loyalty to be placed above the law. The law is what Sessions followed in recusing himself and that’s chapped Trump’s orange ass.

Trump sold out Sean Spicer and now he’s selling out Sessions. He’s conducted a tweet storm against the guy and questioning why he’s not using his position for political retribution to go after his opponent from the presidential campaign and the former FBI director.

If Trump fires Sessions, it won’t be just because he’s angry. It’ll be to thwart the Special Counsel’s investigation. Trump can’t fire Robert Mueller. He has to tell his appointees in the Justice Department to do that dirty work. The firing would have to be done by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein unless Trump fires him too. Trump’s already expressed concern that Rosenstein is from liberal Baltimore, even though he’s not.

This issue is another reason to pay close attention to what the Republicans are doing in the Senate with their health-care bill. They’re ramming several versions through for a vote. If they all fail, then the Senate will be able to say they tried, and then go on recess and hang out on the beach like Chris Christie. It’s during this recess that Trump could fire Sessions and make a recess appointment, which won’t need Senate confirmation. However, that appointment can only be made if the recess is to last longer than ten days and the Senate may fight it. While the Republicans love Trump, and they control the Senate calendar, they also love Sessions who was previously one of them.

Firing Sessions may be the final act to anger Republicans in Congress. Trump has already fired an FBI director to stop the investigation into Russia, and that action made it worse. Firing more people to end the investigation will only heighten the need to investigate, and perhaps remove Trump from office. We’re already on the highway to a Constitutional crisis.

I’m all for removing an Attorney General who doesn’t believe in justice for minorities or Civil Rights, but I’m not for obstruction of justice. Someone does need to be removed from office and that person is the president.

Trump, focusing on what’s “fair” to him and only him, says it’s unfair to the president that the Attorney General recused himself. What is unfair is that we have to live through the administration of an unqualified president who wants to rule, not govern, and places himself above the law.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Confederate Monuments


cjones04302017

New Orleans, Louisiana (my home state) is removing monuments to the Confederacy from within the city. The type of people who continue to fly Confederate flags and scream “heritage, not hate” are upset.

The outrage is so intense that the monuments are being removed late at night under police protection. The company hired to remove the statues are even putting tape over their logos on their vehicles out of safety and concern over loss of business.

The first of four monuments, the Battle of Liberty Place, was removed early Monday morning. The battle being memorialized by that particular monument isn’t even from the Confederacy. It was an insurrection by the Crescent City White League against the Reconstruction state government in 1874, nearly ten years after the Civil War ended. The monument was erected in 1891 in praise of the racist insurrection as the city and state at that time was in the process of disenfranchising blacks. Nice memorial you’re fighting for there, Whities.

The other three monuments, Confederate President Jefferson Davis, Generals Robert E. Lee, and P.G.T. Beauregard will be removed in the near future on unspecified dates. You know the current White League will be conducting surveillance on each of those so they’ll know when they’re coming down.

Speaking of old monuments named “Beauregard,” one old codgy monument that needs to be removed but is firmly in place is our current Attorney General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions. You would think a Southerner from with a name like “Jefferson Beauregard” would be a little more cautious on matters with race. Not our Jefferson Beauregard.

Sessions has called the ACLU and NAACP “un-American” and that they were teaching “un-American” values. He has stated that the NAACP was “forcing Civil Rights down the throats of people.” He also said “You know the NAACP hates white people; they are out to get them. That is why they bring these lawsuits, and they are a commie group and a pinko organization as well.” Regarding the Ku Klux Klan, Sessions stated “I thought those guys were OK until I learned they smoked pot.” He’s also been accused of saying to a black colleaugue “You ought to be careful as to what you say to white folks.” The list goes on and on.

When Sessions was nominated for a federal judgeship in 1986, Coretta Scott King wrote a letter to Congress asking them to block his nomination. She wrote that allowing him to join the bench would “irreparably damage the work of my husband.” That is some serious stuff there.

And just last week Sessions, who loves the ideas of a border wall and kicking out brown people was upset that a judge in Hawaii (another state I lived and worked in) knocked down Trump’s travel ban on Muslims. Sessions “amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power.” Sessions ate a lot of crap for that and tried to defend his comments afterward. I don’t understand why a judge in Hawaii isn’t as legitimate as a judge in any other state, unless he’s upset that that “island in the Pacific” isn’t majority white.

These old Confederate dudes have a hard time letting go. Those people in New Orleans are upset over a statue coming down of Robert E. Lee and they cite history….yet disregard the fact that Lee never set foot in New Orleans.

They can’t let go of the Civil War which means that in two hundred years they’ll still be calling former South Carolina governor, and current ambassador to the U.N., Nikki Haley a traitor for removing the Confederate Battle Flag from her state’s Capitol grounds.

Here in Virginia a Republican running for governor had comments on the removal of the monuments in New Orleans. Corey Stewart, who’s actually from Minnesota, tweeted “It appears ISIS has won. They are tearing down historical monuments in New Orleans now too. It must end. Despicable!” If Mr. Stewart, and other Rebel flag waving freaks, lived in Germany, would they insist on monuments to Nazis and Hitler?

The Civil War is a complicated issue. Those who defend the flag and monuments argue that the war wasn’t fought over slavery. They’re half right. The North did not fight to end slavery. The South’s only reason was to fight for slavery. It was explicitly stated in many of the states’ Declarations of Secession.

If you want to continue to be an advocate for racism, that’s fine by me. Just don’t glorify it on government or public land. Put that sticker on your bumper. There is a place for Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, Stonewall Jackson, and P.G.T. Beauregard. That place is a museum.

A museum is where we should also put Jefferson Beauregard Sessions.

Creative note: I’ve been itching to draw elfish Jeff Sessions sitting on a stack of books. After my last cartoon of him, where I placed him in a high chair, I’ve been afraid someone would steal it from me and use the stack-of-books idea before I could. I was the first cartoonist in the nation to give Trump an extra long tie and I was the first to put scotch tape on it. Yes, I’m standing by those two claims. So just remember I’m the first to have Sessions sitting on stuff. Next, he’ll be sitting on Trump’s lap….or Putin’s.

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Russian To Lie


cjones03022017

Attorney General Jeff Sessions sat before the United States senate during his confirmation hearings and committed perjury. Sessions lied to Congress.

During the presidential campaign Jeff Sessions was an early advocate for Donald Trump. He was on that bandwagon early and sported a Make America Great Again hat every chance he could find one made for a child-sized head.

On Wednesday evening The New York Times reported that surrogates for the Trump campaign met with Russian officials in European cities during the campaign. They also reported that the Obama administration scattered information throughout the government on the Russian hacking, so the incoming Trump administration couldn’t erase or conceal it. Smart. How obvious is it that the Trump administration isn’t just implicit with this, but that they’d engage in a cover-up?

Shortly after the Times story was published The Washington Post reported that Jeff Sessions met with the Russian ambassador TWICE. Sessions met with the ambassador once in his senate office and another time in Cleveland at the Republican National Convention. He says he never talked about the campaign with the Russians. It’s a little hard to believe that the campaign didn’t come up in a conversation during the convention in Cleveland. What did they talk about? Lebron James? Will the Browns ever find a quarterback? Why aren’t the Moody Blues in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame? Because they suck.

From the Post (about Jeff Sessions, not the Moody Blues):

At his Jan. 10 Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing, Sessions was asked by Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) what he would do if he learned of any evidence that anyone affiliated with the Trump campaign communicated with the Russian government in the course of the 2016 campaign.

“I’m not aware of any of those activities,” he responded. He added: “I have been called a surrogate at a time or two in that campaign and I did not have communications with the Russians.”

That sounds like a lie. Franken did not ask if he (Sessions) himself had talked to the Russians. Sessions voluntarily described himself as a surrogate and that he “did not have communications with the Russians.” That’s a lie. That’s not misleading. That’s not parsing words. That’s not tip-toeing through the tulips. That’s not an alternative fact. That’s a huge lie. Sessions is an attorney who has probably prosecuted people for far less so he would know it’s a lie.

More from The Post:

Sen. Patrick J. Leahy (D-Vt.) asked Sessions for answers to written questions. “Several of the President-elect’s nominees or senior advisers have Russian ties. Have you been in contact with anyone connected to any part of the Russian government about the 2016 election, either before or after election day?” Leahy wrote.

Sessions responded with one word. “No.”

With the second instance Sessions didn’t technically, unless he did talk about the election with the ambassador. The question was specific and asked about the “2016 election.” Tricky there, eh? It would seem he would at least mention it. If he had people would have debated but it wouldn’t have revealed anything illegal. So, why didn’t Sessions mention meeting with the Russians? Did he only prep for the questions about being a racist?

Another oddity with all this is that Sessions is a member of the Armed Services Committee and he says he met with a lot of ambassadors last year in that role. But he’s the only member of that committee that was hanging out with ambassadors. What up with that?

Sessions refused to recuse himself regarding investigations into the Trump campaign and the Russian hacking. There are now more calls for a special prosecutor, which I called for before Trump took office. The big problem with appointing a special prosecutor is that job now lies (no pun intended) with Jeff Sessions. How convenient.

The shoes keep dropping and the stuff keeps hitting the fan. From Michael Flynn talking to Russian and lying about it to Trump asking Russia to hack the Clinton campaign. That shit-covered fan will have to be thrown out because it’ll never get clean.

U.S. Code sections 1621 and 1001 of Title 18 stipulates that anyone who “willfully and contrary to such oath states or subscribes any material matter which he does not believe to be true” is guilty of perjury and shall be fined or imprisoned up to five years, or both.

Section 1001  covers false statements more generally, without requiring an oath. The section stipulates that “whoever, in any matter within the jurisdiction of the executive, legislative, or judicial branch of the government of the United States, knowingly and willfully” falsifies or conceals information, including before a congressional committee’s inquiry, may also be fined or imprisoned up to five years.

It’s hard to quibble that Sessions did not commit perjury. He probably won’t be charged as there’s been only six convictions for lying to congress in the last 70 years, though it’s obvious he lied to congress. He lied to the senator who wrote the book “Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them.” 

This particular lying liar needs to not only recuse himself, but he needs to appoint a special prosecutor, and then resign as attorney general.

One great benefit of all this crap is the great journalism competition between The New York Times and The Washington Post. I have a subscription to both and I highly encourage you to do the same.

I don’t recommend listening to the Moody Blues.

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