Tweeter In Chief


cjones12292016

There’s often been complaints that bills before Congress are too complicated and lengthy to read, often consisting of thousands of pages. We won’t have that issue anymore as now they’ll be no longer than 140 characters. The cartoon above falls under that number.

Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump’s campaign manager, future White House counselor, and present henchman (henchwoman? Henchperson?) said on The Rachel Maddow Show a few nights ago that Trump is not using Twitter to set policy. Being that she works for Donald Trump, of course that’s a lie.

She also said that when Trump tweeted about expanding our nuclear capability he wasn’t referring to building up our arsenal. The very next day he said that we needed to increase our arsenal.

Trump tweeted “The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes.” Coming to “senses” and “Trump” are not two things you expect with our president-elect (I’m getting a little better each time I type that title for Trump. I’m not throwing up as much in my mouth as I was before). Having bigger guns will make your adversaries want smaller guns? Is this the sort of advice he’s getting from his foreign policy adviser? You know, that guy who believed Hillary Clinton was selling child sex slaves out of a pizza parlor.

Trump later told Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, “Let it be an arms race … we will outmatch them at every pass and outlast them all.” Is it time for all of us to crawl underneath our school desks again?

Trump loves Tweeting (which is ironic because he hates the company). He’d say it’s very “precedential.” He’ll retweet tweets from conservative teenagers who hate CNN, white supremacists, and Swastikas. He’ll take to the platform to express rage at Broadway plays, Alec Baldwin and Saturday Night Live, people who question the extent of his election victory, whether he could have beaten Obama, whether Bill Clinton called him or he called Clinton, to tell China to keep a drone they stole, etc., etc. He’ll also tweet agreements with Vladimir Putin, to claim there’s no Russian connection with his election victory, and to congratulate himself for predicting terrorist attacks.

The man handles Twitter like a very unstable person. Usually those people only have about seven followers. Donald Trump has 18 million. That puts him right between Coldplay and Ashton Kutcher. I only have a little over three thousand. C’mon people. Step it up.

The biggest concern coming from Trump’s tweets, which are often full of typos (people who don’t read don’t make good spellers), is that it shows he has a short attention span and that he’s a total narcissist. Can that short attention span combined with his narcissism contribute to how he’ll defend our nation? What will the man consider a threat? North Korea aiming nukes at Seoul or an unflattering political cartoon that gives him a rectum for lips?

I think they should construct the buttons to order a nuclear strike very complicated for tiny fingers. They could also combine them with a lot of big words. Trump will never figure them out.

Creative note: I might be the only cartoonist in the nation who has not done a cartoon of the presidential seal combined with the Twitter logo. You’re welcome.

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9 comments

  1. I wouldn’t worry about the number of Trump’s followers if I were you. The people I know on that list are following him to keep an eye on him, not because they adore his infantile Tweets, and then you have to count the Russians checking to see that he sticks to their bargain . . . I’d follow him too, except I can’t bear to add another name to his list.
    I doubt there’s a single follower of yours in the skulking category, so you might just have more legitimate fans than he!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. English steals words from any source around. As a result, there is confusion over the source. Is the suffix -man in a word from the Germanic Mann, male; or is it from the French main, hand, as in “hired hand” or “all hands on deck”? Try just hench. It avoids the problem and rhymes with stench, which indicates the association of corruption.

    Like

  3. I allow 3 mins of my morning time for Twitter….mostly follow comedians and musicians. I participated in your twit war and you have gained another follower. P & T are escalating because that makes the public scared — their entire narrative. Keep them scared and disbelieving the real media. Keep them on Breitbart/InfoWars, etc. And we get to watch it all play out.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree with Samantha Bee– I think Trump’s illiterate, and he tweets by yelling stuff for a secretary to type out. So it’s his secretary who can’t spell. Not that the Barking Yam could spell if he tried.

    Liked by 1 person

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