Trump Tweets

Furt Those Tweets


cjones12052017

After Trump fired his National Security Adviser Michael Flynn (after being on the job for only 24 days), he tweeted that he fired him for lying to Vice President Mike Pence. On Saturday, a tweet went out from Trump’s Twitter account stating he fired Flynn, not just for lying to Pence, but also for lying to the FBI.

This is where it gets troublesome for the orange doofus. Former FBI Director James Comey testified that Trump asked him, after he fired Flynn, to drop the case investigating him. If Trump knew Flynn lied to the FBI, breaking the law, then Trump was obstructing justice.

Trump’s legal team isn’t very good, but they know this. His outside lawyer, John Dowd, bit the bullet and took the blame for the tweet, stating he wrote it, and not Trump. Was Dowd also the one who snorted a line then tweeted out “Covfefe” at 3:00 AM too?

Proving he only has shoddy legal advice, Dowd said the tweet isn’t admitting an obstruction of justice. He’s also arguing that the president cannot obstruct justice because he’s the nation’s chief law enforcement officer. This guy might wanna look into a little episode called Watergate. Trump’s lawyers have also assured him the investigation will be over by January.

Trump is on the record stating he fired Comey because it would end the investigation into his collusion with Russia. Trump told this to the Russian ambassador and the Foreign Minister in the Oval Office. He told the same thing to journalist Lester Holt. Now, Trump is saying he never asked Comey to “go easy” on Flynn. Since Trump has a track record of lying about everything, from birtherism to crowd sizes to pussy grabbing, are we to believe him or Comey?

Someone, I can’t remember who, said Trump’s downfall will be his Tweeting. I believe that. It’s his own big fat mouth that is the cause of there even being a Special Counsel investigation. This weekend, he has attacked the FBI on Twitter, and this morning, he used his account to finally officially endorse a suspected pedophile for the United States Senate. Last week, he tweeted out videos created by a racist and anti-Islamophobic group in Britain. It’s disgusting and very disappointing what Trump is doing to his office.

If Trump’s lawyer really did send out that tweet, then he should be fired. If Trump sent it out, he needs to be fired too.

Creative notes: Saturday morning, I was sitting in the breakfast nook at home with my friends and one of them asked if I’d rush out a cartoon on the Senates tax cut vote. I told her I’d wait until Sunday, as I wanted to take Saturday night off, and I’d still be one of the first cartoonists to cover it. I was wrong.

I started working on a cartoon on that subject at 3:00 AM. Around 5:30, I thought of this idea. Suddenly, the 51 grim reapers I was drawing weren’t as interesting to me anymore. I really liked this idea. So, I put it aside and did this.

I like Rocky Horror but I’m not super goofy about it. Back in the 80s,  some friends and I went to see it at the theater and wore trench coats and threw rice at the screen. My best friend tried to sneak an egg into the place. I don’t know who he was going to pelt with it, but a busky security woman grabbed him by the crotch, where he was hiding the egg, and crushed it. He had to spend two hours sitting in the theater with yolky genitals. I don’t know how she knew he had the egg down there. Oh yeah. I told her.

Tonight: I’m doing the Ask Me Anything thing at 8:00 PM EST. A lot of people have already left questions. You should too. It should be fun, interesting, amusing, and maybe a little educational. It’ll be a must read if you’re a cartoon geek. Eighty-nine people have RSVP. How cool is that? I hope you check it out. Please do so I’ll look important.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Tweeter In Chief


cjones12292016

There’s often been complaints that bills before Congress are too complicated and lengthy to read, often consisting of thousands of pages. We won’t have that issue anymore as now they’ll be no longer than 140 characters. The cartoon above falls under that number.

Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump’s campaign manager, future White House counselor, and present henchman (henchwoman? Henchperson?) said on The Rachel Maddow Show a few nights ago that Trump is not using Twitter to set policy. Being that she works for Donald Trump, of course that’s a lie.

She also said that when Trump tweeted about expanding our nuclear capability he wasn’t referring to building up our arsenal. The very next day he said that we needed to increase our arsenal.

Trump tweeted “The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes.” Coming to “senses” and “Trump” are not two things you expect with our president-elect (I’m getting a little better each time I type that title for Trump. I’m not throwing up as much in my mouth as I was before). Having bigger guns will make your adversaries want smaller guns? Is this the sort of advice he’s getting from his foreign policy adviser? You know, that guy who believed Hillary Clinton was selling child sex slaves out of a pizza parlor.

Trump later told Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, “Let it be an arms race … we will outmatch them at every pass and outlast them all.” Is it time for all of us to crawl underneath our school desks again?

Trump loves Tweeting (which is ironic because he hates the company). He’d say it’s very “precedential.” He’ll retweet tweets from conservative teenagers who hate CNN, white supremacists, and Swastikas. He’ll take to the platform to express rage at Broadway plays, Alec Baldwin and Saturday Night Live, people who question the extent of his election victory, whether he could have beaten Obama, whether Bill Clinton called him or he called Clinton, to tell China to keep a drone they stole, etc., etc. He’ll also tweet agreements with Vladimir Putin, to claim there’s no Russian connection with his election victory, and to congratulate himself for predicting terrorist attacks.

The man handles Twitter like a very unstable person. Usually those people only have about seven followers. Donald Trump has 18 million. That puts him right between Coldplay and Ashton Kutcher. I only have a little over three thousand. C’mon people. Step it up.

The biggest concern coming from Trump’s tweets, which are often full of typos (people who don’t read don’t make good spellers), is that it shows he has a short attention span and that he’s a total narcissist. Can that short attention span combined with his narcissism contribute to how he’ll defend our nation? What will the man consider a threat? North Korea aiming nukes at Seoul or an unflattering political cartoon that gives him a rectum for lips?

I think they should construct the buttons to order a nuclear strike very complicated for tiny fingers. They could also combine them with a lot of big words. Trump will never figure them out.

Creative note: I might be the only cartoonist in the nation who has not done a cartoon of the presidential seal combined with the Twitter logo. You’re welcome.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!