Donald Trump

Who’s Your Caddy?


cjones02252017

What is it with conservatives and hypocrisy?

They spent eight years complaining that President Obama spent too much time on golf courses while neglecting his duties (and then complained when he’d issue executive orders).

During Trump’s first term in office he’s been on a golf course six times. He actually corrals the press into a club house where the windows are blacked out so they can’t see him play. Is the conservative press complaining about this? Of course not which might be why they’re not excluded from Trump press briefings.

On Friday Donald Trump spoke at CPAC and continued his war with facts and information. Once again he claimed a free press is the enemy of the American people. He said he doesn’t like “fake news,” despite actual fake news helping him win the election.

Before Trump took the stage his chief adviser Steve Bannon spoke to the group and declared the war against the media will intensify. He labels the press as the “opposition.” If information and facts are the opposition, what does that make you? Oh yeah. Liars. Lies and misinformation were Bannon’s bread and butter while he was head of Breitbart, that racist, alt-right, “information” source.

On Friday Trump’s press secretary held a press “gaggle” and prevented several legitimate news organizations from attending. He blocked The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, CNN, Politico, and Buzzfeed.

Interestingly enough, Breitbart, who shouldn’t even be allowed on the White House grounds, was invited. Also invited was The Washington Times, which is very pro-Trump, and owned by a religious cult (the Times fancies itself “America’s newspaper” and a competitor to The Post, but their circulation has fallen to less than 60,000). The third conservative news outlet invited was One America News, which you’ve probably never heard of, or if you have seen it on cable you mistook it for an angry infomercial. You can make an argument that The Washington Times is a news source, but the other two are not.

News is not what the Trump administration wants shared. They’re against news. The Trump teams wants propaganda and they’ll punish those who won’t play along. Bannon has promised to make things worse for the press. That means he’s going to make things worse for everyone who actually cares about freedom in this nation.

And those conservative outlets? They’re carrying Trump’s bags.

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Trump Tramples Trans


cjones02232017

Donald Trump has rescinded the Obama administration’s rules on bathrooms for transgender students. He wants the decisions on how to handle school bathrooms for transgenders students left up to the states. And why not? We saw how several states worked on civil rights issues back in the 1950s and 60s when they thought it was best left up to them. What could go wrong now?

We’re not deciding speed limits here. These are children. This is a civil rights issue which is an area for the federal government. Not North Carolina, or Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas, etc.

The decision was passed down by the departments of Justice and Education. Attorney General Jeff Sessions, living up to the fear that he wouldn’t defend civil rights (first he’d have to know what they are), was all for it. Education secretary Betsy DeVos was not in favor of the new rules. She was told to get in line. Exhibiting the backbone required to serve in the Trump administration, DeVos ate the meatloaf.

The safety and security of children should be more important than appeasing the fear of geriatric politicians.

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Once, Twice, Three Times A BLEEP Sandwich


cjones02222017

Today’s blog entry is going to contain the word “shit” about a dozen times, so if you’re offended by that sort of thing then you might wanna wander over to something a bit less tawdry. Sorry for smutting up the internet today.

When Robert Harward refused Trump’s offer to become his national security adviser he declined and cited his current job and time with his family. Friends of his report that he said no because the offer was a “shit sandwich.”

Last week when Chris Christie visited the White House for dinner Trump told everyone to order whatever they want, but he and Chris were going to have the meatloaf. I’m sorry, what?

There’s nothing wrong with a good meatloaf. I make a killer meatloaf. But if a kitchen’s best offering is meatloaf then you’re gonna wanna find another place to eat. Also, Donald Trump eats Big Macs, KFC, and burned steak that’s probably served with ketchup. Do you really want his culinary recommendations?

Chris Christie didn’t eat the meatloaf. Christie ate the shit sandwich. Christie has been eating the shit sandwich ever since he dropped out of the presidential race and endorsed Trump.

Christie, a current governor of a genuine state, has made runs to McDonald’s for Trump. That’s a shit sandwich. He obediently left an event and got on a plane to go home once when Trump told him too. That’s another shit sandwich. He was going to be Trump’s vice president. Once again, shit sandwich. He was leading Trump’s transition team but was kicked out of that position. Maybe we’ll try something other than…nope. Shit sandwich. Christie has been eating a lot of shit sandwiches.

Finally it looked like he was about to get some respect. He was invited to the White House for dinner with the president. That’s usually a high compliment and an acknowledgement that you’re really important, even if that president is Donald Trump. But Christie didn’t get the respect. Instead what he got was being emasculated once again by The Donald.

Trump didn’t want him to eat the meatloaf because it was so damn good. He wanted to show the other guests that Christie would do whatever he tells him to do. He was told to eat the shit sandwich.

Have you ever been told by a friend while at a restaurant that you should order something particular that they loved? They swear it’s awesome. That establishment makes the best Reuben sandwich ever. You believe them and say I’m sure it’s great but I’m more in the mood for the burger tonight. You’re not insulting them. You’re just not a poodle. You eat what you want to eat. Not what people tell you to eat unless it’s your mother (and I don’t care how old you are. If mom fixes you something to eat you better eat it. I don’t care if it’s someone else’s mom. You’re eating it).

Not Chris Christie. Now in Christie’s defense he’ll probably eat anything. But if you’re at the White House and you have choices are you going to eat the meatloaf on your only visit? I can see eating the meatloaf if it’s your tenth trip and you want to change things up. I don’t see eating the meatloaf because Trump commands it. If I went there wanting meatloaf and Trump told me to eat meatloaf, I’d order something else. I’d order chicken and dumplings and I hate chicken and dumplings. It’s that one food that I couldn’t finish when I was a child and was forced to remain at the table until I cleaned my plate. I’d eat chicken and dumplings before I snacked on Trump’s shit sandwich.

While the governor of New Jersey thought he was eating meatloaf, he was actually eating the shit sandwich and he liked it. He went on a radio show to tell the world that Donald Trump’s shit sandwich is the best shit sandwich you could ever eat and he’ll always be eating Trump’s shit sandwiches.

The problem is Trump wants all of us to eat his shit sandwiches. He tells the world the media is the enemy because they won’t eat his shit sandwich. If you’re one of those people who voted for Trump, you ate the shit sandwich. If you’re one of those who are saying “give him a chance,” you’re still eating the shit sandwich.

There are other items on the menu but you’ll probably keep eating that shit sandwich.

No thanks. I’m good. I’ll have what that other president ordered. What was one of Obama’s favorites? Cheeseburgers. Do you recall that conservatives once gave him, well, a lot of shit, for putting mustard on a burger? How dare he not use ketchup. Ketchup is for children and orange presidents. Ketchup is what helps create a shit sandwich.

Creative Notes: I started this cartoon at my local coffee shop but those fuckers closed at midnight (I already wrote “shit” twenty times so one “fucker,” oops, two, should be OK at this point). I wasn’t even halfway done with the cartoon.

Since I forgot my desk chair I had to find something to sit on while drawing. I can’t draw standing or sitting up in bed. It doesn’t work for me. I found a metal folding chair outside. It’s a little too close to the ground but it worked. I kinda feel like I’m a kid at the big table. maybe I should have sat on a book.

Sometimes I’ll choose a title because it amuses me and I won’t care if anyone else is amused or understands it all. But you know the singer Meatloaf, right? He had that song, “once, twice, three times a lady?” Yeah, well I thought it was funny for the title of this blog. Anyone who doesn’t like can go eat a…

Update: OK. I was just corrected by my ex wife. That never changes. She pointed out that I confused “once, twice, three times” by the COMMODORES with “two out of three ain’t bad” by Meatloaf. That totally screws up the title of this blog and cartoon….but eh. It’s staying. Can I blame it on listening to the Foo Fighters the entire time I was drawing this?

Second update: Did you know the president has to pay for his own food? It’s true. Not state dinner stuff but if he has a party, bbq in the backyard, or just his or his family’s meal, he has to pay for it. A follower on Twitter said that could be why he made Christie order the meatloaf. Yeah, Trump is rich but he’s notoriously cheap. He’s an unhappy miser.

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Enemy Of The State


cjones02202017

Donald Trump tweeted that the media is an enemy of the American people.

Every president has despised the press at some point, if not constantly. For being such a supposed liberal institution you would think Democratic presidents like Clinton and Obama would love the press, but no. They hated the press too.

Trump doesn’t just hate the press. He needs to frame them as the bad guys. Republicans have always done that but stating they’re an enemy to the nation, as if they’re not better than al Qaida, is irresponsible and reckless.

A free nation requires a free press. The limitations on the press tells you a government isn’t free, like Iran, Saudi Arabia, China, and North Korea. Journalists worldwide are imprisoned and murdered for doing the job of providing information to a nation’s citizens.

The press makes mistakes. The press has freedom to make mistakes and those responsible will correct them. You’re allowed to be angry with the press. That doesn’t make you a bad person. People in the press get mad at the press. However, the press does not have a liberal bias. Facts have a liberal bias.

Donald Trump doesn’t like the press because they report facts. Donald Trump doesn’t tell facts. Donald Trump tells lies and everyone in his administration is a liar. They don’t like people who point that out. Trump would prefer that he create lies such as a terrorist attack in Sweden and have everyone accept whatever bullshit coming out of his mouth as irrefutable facts.

Their model is to tell lies and then tell their supporters that those telling the truth aren’t just the opposition or bad guys, but enemies to the entire nation. That sounds like something from an Orwell novel.

Trump supporters don’t read Orwell, history books, or read anything much at all. As insane as Trump’s comments and strategy may be, his supporters eat it up. They are on Team Trump for the long haul.

How dare Donald Trump tell lies and paint those who point it out as villains. The man is a bully. Telling American that a free press is their enemy is a strongman tactic. It’s not the tactic of a president who intends to be a leader of free people. When you lose a free press, you start to lose freedom.

In the 1950s a United States senator from Wisconsin, Joe McCarthy, held hearings to expose communists in our nation, specifically in the entertainment industry. He had a lot of supporters. It was their way to deal with criticism. It ignored our Constitution and overlooked the fact (there’s that word again) that you’re free to be a commie in America. Most of those accused were not communists. It ruined lives. It spawned the term “McCarthyism” which means to demagogue. That’s exactly what Trump is doing.

Donald Trump would rather paint his critics as terrorists than use a strategy of winning with the truth. Lies are easier for Trump and to be honest, they’re working with his base.

Any conservative journalist who agrees with Donald Trump, or defends his statement, isn’t just an enemy of a free press. You, like Trump, are an enemy of America. And that’s a fact.

Update: After a crazy week and a crazier weekend I’m all good. For the most part. Saturday morning my internet was fritzing out so I published my cartoon using the WiFi at Sheetz. I must work OK under pressure as that cartoon will be in USA Today this Monday (right now. Go buy one).

I was really getting frustrated with internet this weekend. It went out at home. I go to Sheetz on Saturday morning and the WiFi works but it’s really slow. That sucks when you have to upload four files. I moved to a new home Sunday night. I don’t have a desk at my new home and I can’t draw on my lap or sitting up in bed. So I went out last night to an establishment where I could place my drawing platform on a table. Yeah, their internet worked with everything but the device I used to draw the cartoon. I couldn’t upload it.

I was a day behind posting to GoComics which I felt really bad about. I’m very consistent with them. I also wanted to publish my latest cartoon for The Costa Rica Star. So I return to my new digs where I’ll spend my very first night. But first, I want to upload files and publish. I can write and size files while sitting up in bed. The WiFi provided…I was given the wrong password. I finally received the correct one around 5:00 AM.

I want one normal day. Please. Let things run smooth tomorrow. Let me work. Let me have WiFi. Let me not have drug dealers knocking on my window at 2:00 AM. Let me remain unstabbed. Is that too much to ask?

Four things I did do successfully yesterday. I drew a cartoon. I moved to a new home. I helped a friend change a flat tire. Finally, I restrung the string through the hood of a hoodie. That, my friends, is a serious accomplishment.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Fine-Tuned Chaos


cjones02182017

Yesterday was a WTF moment for the entire nation. Maybe not for Trump’s more ardent supporters as they wanted the madman from the campaign trail to be president. But this nation can’t afford candidate madman to be president. We need a president.

I’m not just talking about a president who acts presidential. I want a president who is at the very least coherent and stable. At this point it’s not that we need a conservative or liberal government. We need a functioning government. Republicans love to say that government doesn’t work. Donald Trump is working really hard to prove them right.

After the press conference it was reported that vice admiral Robert Hayward was offered the job to replace Michael Flynn as national security adviser, and he turned Trump down. A friend of Hayward’s said he was unwilling to take the job and said it was a “shit sandwich.” Filling this administration with competent people is like finding a head coach for the San Francisco 49ers. Nobody rational wants that job.

Highlights of the press conference:

He complained that the press doesn’t tell the truth. He said the leaks are real but the news is fake. He continued to lie about his electoral victory being the largest since Ronald Reagan. When pressed on this he said it’s what others are telling him. Like the guy can’t Google the information.

He continued to defend Michael Flynn and said he didn’t do anything wrong other than lying to the vice president.

He claimed drugs are as cheap at candy bars.

He claimed he’s the least anti-semitic person you’ll ever see, and the least racist. He took personal offense when a reporter asked him about anti-semitism since his victory and accused the reporter of lying. He claimed the anti-semitism is coming from his opponents disguised as his supporters.

He said if he doesn’t get along with Russia then we could have a nuclear holocaust. He knows this because he gets briefings which tells him Russia has nuclear weapons. He also said he’d love to shoot a Russian spy ship off the east coast out of the water, but that wouldn’t be a good thing.

When asked by a black reporter about meeting with the CBC (Congressional Black Caucus) he didn’t seem to know what “CBC” was. He then asked the reporter if she knew them, as if every black person knows every other black person. He said she can set the meeting up, as if that’s a reporter’s job and he doesn’t have a phone. He’s probably too busy using it to call Putin and sending tweets.

He said Congressman Elijah Cummings was to meet with him but cancelled, probably due to pressure from Chuck Schumer. Cummings later stated that they’ve never had a meeting scheduled and that he’d love to meet with the president. Which of the two do you believe?

He explained what Uranium is.

He continued to attack Hillary Clinton and said he inherited a mess.

He said the Muslim ban had a smooth rollout.

He didn’t deny his staff had been in contact with Russia before the election, but said he doesn’t know of anyone who had.

He said there’s no chaos in his White House and it’s running like a fine-tuned machine.

Trump created more scandals this week by Wednesday than Obama did in eights years. He raised the bar even higher on Thursday.

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Fee Fi Faux


cjones02172017

Are you tired of winning yet? Are you impressed by how Trump has hired the best people?

This week the Trump campaign has had more scandals than Obama had in his entire eight years. And that was by Wednesday.

His national security adviser, Michael Flynn, had to resign over chatting to Russia about sanctions before Trump came into office. Trump fired the woman who warned him that Flynn was a potential target for blackmail. Trump kept Flynn on staff for over two weeks, despite lying to the vice president, who went out and defended him on national television. Trumps response to all this is to blame the press for doing their jobs and the intelligence agencies for leaks.

Counselor Kellyanne Conway pimped his daughter’s products on Fox News, which is a huge ethical violation. She’s been running a propaganda campaign based on lies from crowd sizes to terrorists attacks that never happened. A few media outlets won’t allow her on their shows anymore, including Morning Joe which has been very favorable to Trump. That’s like pissing off Breitbart, who by the way, is also at odds with the White House right now over something or other. I’m not really sure as I don’t want to click onto their site. Ugh.

Trump held a press conference with Israel’s prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, where Trump made it clear he has no firm position on the two-state solution, or really any knowledge on the Israeli-Palestinian situation. It’s in the Middle East, right? Jews and Arabs? Done researching!

During the press conference he only took questions from conservative outlets, like the bible channel (not their real name).

After North Korea launched a new missile test Trump held a national security meeting during a dinner at his golf club in full view of guests and waiters. I heard the head chef had some really good ideas on security for South Korea. One lucky individual got to pose for a photo holding the nuclear football (that one really happened).

According to some reports our intelligence agencies are withholding some classified information from Trump out of fear he’ll expose it, either on purpose or inadvertently. He might accidentally tweet it out like Sean Spicer did with his passwords (it’s “spicyhot4u” by the way).

Before his dinner at Mar-a-Lago he had a photo op with the prime minister of Japan and at one point Shinzo Abe rolled his eyes after their handshake, which lasted 19 seconds.

Trump, thought “Shinzo” was Abe’s last name. Sean Spicer called Justin Trudeau, the prime minister of Canada, “Joe” Trudeau. The Trump team has called the prime minister of Australia the president of Australia, and the president of Colombia the president of “Columbia.”  British Prime Minister Theresa May has been referred to as “Teresa.” His new secretary of education proved she can’t spell. These guys apparently haven’t heard of spell check. All of this is very “unpresidented.”

On Wednesday Trump’s nominee as labor security withdrew after a tape finally surfaced of his ex wife accusing him of physical abuse on the Oprah Winfrey Show in 1990. You go, girl.

Trump has ICE rounding up people in the nation illegally and ripping families apart. His ban on Muslims was knocked down by the courts. Trump’s trying to prevent brown people from entering the country and kicking out the ones who are here.

Foreign creditors are less willing to purchase U.S. debt. Nobody wants any of this. Apparently our stock is about as valuable as Blockbuster.

Presidential adviser Stephen Miller said the president’s power won’t be questioned. That should make you feel warm all over like a nice golden shower.

There are reports Trump won’t read any briefings unless they’re limited to a single page with lots of colorful graphics and delivered in the form of a pop-up book (darn it. Someone’s gonna steal that for a cartoon).

On top of all that Trump went to war with Nordstroms for dropping his daughter’s fashion line, the same one Conway hawked.

I’m pretty sure I’m leaving something out. Go ahead and put it in the comments.

Again, it’s only Thursday.

Creative notes: This cartoon may only work in color. Hopefully it won’t give my clients another reason to be frustrated with me. A few want me to do something other than Trump. They’re not wrong. I’ve done a lot on Trump and he won’t stop doing things. I’d like to do a cartoon on a different subject. Stay tooned for that.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Sin Like Flynn


cjones02162017

What did the president know and when did he know it?

That was an often repeated question during the Watergate crisis. With the resignation of national security adviser Michael Flynn, that is one of many questions being asked, except by most Republicans.

Flynn talked to the Russian ambassador during the transition. He claimed he never talked about foreign policy or sanctions being placed upon Russia by the Obama administration. Vice President Mike Pence went on the airwaves to repeat that claim. It was a lie.

Flynn changed his story from did not to I don’t know. As it turns out he not only talked to Russia during the transition, he talked to government officials during the campaign. Other members of Trump’s campaign did the same. One of the many questions is “who were those people?”

Two weeks ago then-acting Attorney General Sally Yates told the White House what Flynn did, and that he was a threat to be blackmailed by Russia. Donald Trump fired her for refusing to defend his Muslim ban. He fired one person for doing her job and kept the guy on staff who committed treason and was posing a threat, not just to the administration, but to the nation.

After The Washington Post reported the story that the FBI and the Justice Department were on to Flynn, and had questioned him, Trump claimed he didn’t know the report even existed. His claim was about 16 hours after the Post story was published. It’s unclear if he was talking about the Post story or the report from the FBI. I think he was lying about both. It’s weird the guy believes in things that doesn’t exist but denies stuff that’s actually happening.

Kellyanne Conway went on TV Monday to say Michael Flynn had Trump’s confidence. A few hours later Flynn resigned. Not only has Kellyanne lost all confidence with the press, but apparently also with the White House. She’s not even in the loop anymore but she can probably tell you how much Ivanka Trump’s bangles cost.

Flynn resigned and the reasoning is that he lost Trump’s confidence. When did he lose the confidence? Trump knew he lied weeks ago. Trump didn’t fire, or make him resign, until The Washington Post reported on his conversations with Russia. The Trump administration doesn’t have a problem with him undermining government policy. Their “official” problem is that he lied to Mike Pence. Reportedly Trump knew weeks ago that he lied and didn’t inform Pence that he had defended a lie. There’s a whole bunch of people Pence should be pissed with if that sort of stuff is important to him.

The bigger questions here concern Trump himself, his ties to Russia, and whether or not his team coordinated with Putin’s government to sabotage the Clinton campaign.

Trump claimed he loved Wikileaks. He asked Putin to hack and release information on Clinton. The man is incapable of criticizing Putin and even defends him and puts him on an equal level with the U.S. government. To distract for Russia’s involvement in our election Trump has created the lie of massive voter fraud (even though he won).

Trump’s biggest complaint publicly is that there were leaks about Flynn’s chit chat with the Russians. Trump, the man who loves Wikileaks and asks foreign governments to release private information.

Is it believable that the incoming national security adviser talked to Russia about sanctions without the president elect’s knowledge? Is it believable they talked during the campaign without Trump in on it, or even without his direction?

Two Republicans want this investigated. They’re Lindsey Graham and John McCain. Others, like Jason Chaffetz, who chairs the House Oversight Committee, says the problem will work itself out. Others in Congress say if it’s investigated, then it should be private, not held publicly multiple times like all those Benghazi investigations.

Donald Trump told us he’d hire the best for his administration. General Michael Flynn was not the best. He was incapable of doing his job. Most career military men don’t become partisans. Flynn promoted the lie about Clinton being involved in a child-sex-slave scheme at a pizza parlor. Flynn led “lock her up” chants at the GOP convention and said he’d be in prison if he did a tenth of what Hillary Clinton had done.

Fortunately for Flynn, he did a lot more than a tenth so maybe he won’t go to prison for that.

Most national security advisers last for only two years. Flynn only lasted 21 days. Who’s next to go from the Trump administration? How long will the Trump presidency last? This is an administration of dishonesty, lies, ineptness, clumsiness, stupidity, and chaos.

Creative notes: Having heterosexuals in bed together as a metaphor for being in cahoots might be one of those cliches I should retire, like things going over cliffs, sinking ships, mazes, air balloons, Pinocchios, and Santa’s lap. But I thought it might be a twist throwing in all the individuals who have ties to Russia. Plus, I had a lot of fun with all the creepy details. What can I say? I’m a very disturbed person.

I enjoyed all these caricatures but I especially enjoyed drawing Flynn. I hope there are multiple investigations so I can keep drawing the guy.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!