Dr. Sleepy Tackles Foreign Policy

I love listening to Ben Carson explain foreign policy, or any issue really. It’s like listening to a three-year-old child explain trigonometry. It’s cute.

Word comes out now that Dr. Crazy McSleepy Pants doesn’t understand what his foreign policy advisers have been telling him.

Duane Clarridge, a former CIA agent (who was involved in Iran-Contra and now runs his own private spy company), told The New York Times that Carson doesn’t get foreign policy.

“Nobody has been able to sit down with him and have him get one iota of intelligent information about the Middle East.” He also said Mr. Carson needed weekly conference calls briefing him on foreign policy so “we can make him smart.”

If it’s Mr. Clarridge’s job to make him smart, then he better be the Michelangelo of making people smart because Ben Carson is his Sistine Chapel.

Carson later explained that Mr. Clarridge is not one of his advisers. He’s just someone who gives him advice on foreign policy. His campaign suggested that Clarridge is an old codger who’s losing his mental capacity. That sounds more like a description of their candidate.

Carson has stumbled on foreign policy. Actually it’s less of a stumble and more of a fall down an elevator shaft. Carson thinks the Chinese are in Syria. He can’t name one U.S. ally, though the United States has lots. You can just pick a name and it’ll probably be a U.S. ally. His campaign released a map this week and screwed up the location of several New England states. He’s ignorant that the three Baltic states are members of NATO. He thinks we can slip all the Palestinians into Egypt (more fun with maps?). He also doesn’t know the role of the Knesset, Israel’s parliament. This is all after his theory that the Egyptian pyramids were built to store grain and would be ideal for holding Palestinians.

A day or so later Carson compared Syrian refugees to rabid dogs. You know, we can’t let them in as a few might be rabid and you don’t want your children around something as dangerous as a rabid dog…or a Republican candidate for president. He’s also a fan of putting every Muslim in the U.S. into a database.

Dr. Dumbass cites traveling abroad as equipping him for foreign policy. He’s also eaten at Taco Bell which has made him an expert on Latin America.

Carson was matching Trump in the polls, and even topping him in some of them. He’s starting to fall. Go figure. Even Republican voters would like a candidate who could locate Vermont on a map if you asked him. If he wants to stop the bleeding he better hurry up the smarting process.

Arriba! Arriba!

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