Foreign Policy

Wanker

cjones07152019

If someone accuses you of being insecure, your best defense wouldn’t be shouting at the top of your lungs that you’re not.

Secret diplomatic cables from United Kingdom ambassador Sir Kim Darroch to various members of the UK government were leaked this week, probably by someone in the UK government who is pro-Brexit. The cables were from 2017 to 2019 and in them, Darroch described Donald Trump as “inept,” “clumsy,” “insecure,” and “incompetent.”

This morning, it was announced that Darroch will resign as he sees it’ll be impossible to work with Trump. If the UK government needs future evaluations about the Trump administration that are honest, they can subscribe to this blog.

Ambassadors are supposed to give honest assessments to their leaders of the nations where they are serving. They are required to give their leaders their best insights and ideas. These are private and they’re not all adoring, which is what Donald Trump demands of everyone. When you hold massive hate rallies on a weekly basis so thousands of people will tell you that you’re awesome, you don’t want it pointed out that you’re inept.

Soon after the cables were leaked, Trump engaged in another Twitter tantrum and said the ambassador wasn’t well liked, that he’s “wacky,” “stupid,” and “a pompous fool.” The ambassador is English. They all sound pompous.

Ambassador Darroch is actually well respected and he’s a career professional in government and diplomacy. His resume includes stints in the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, the Diplomatic Service, as desk officer in the Tunnel Project, the FCO’s Minister of State, Counsellor for External Affairs at the British Permanent Representative to the European Union, head of the Cabinet Office where he served as the Prime Minster’s principal advisor on European affairs, National Security Advisor, and as ambassador to the United States.

For comparison, Trump’s ambassador to the UK is Woody Johnson, a person with zero diplomatic or government experience and owner of the New York Jets, a team so “inept,” it gave us the butt fumble.

Trump accused Obama of diminishing the stature of the United States and of being an international embarrassment. Now, he has an ambassador calling him “inept.” He’s not the first to notice.

The mayor of Paris said, “Trump is so stupid, my God!” The Danish Foreign Minister said, “He changes opinions like the rest of us changes underwear.” Ecuador’s president said, “His discourse is so dumb, so basic.” A former president of Mexico said, “That’s the way Mussolini and Hitler arrived.” The Chinese Foreign Minister said, “Trump is an irrational type.” Pakistan’s Interior Minister said Trump is “ignorant.” A British MP said, “Donald Trump is an idiot” and “I tried to find five parliamentary adjectives to describe him but none was clear enough. He is an idiot.” Mexico’s Foreign Affairs Secretary said, “When an apple’s red, it is red. When you say ignorant things, you’re ignorant.” Italian Prime Minister said, “I consider Donald Trump a man who invests a lot in a policy of fear.” Another British MP called Trump “the orange prince of American self-publicity.” And another British MP said, “if he met one or two of my constituents in a pub, they may well tell him he’s a wazzock.” And another MP called him a “buffoon.” France’s ambassador to the U.S. called him a “vulture.” Australia’s opposition leader said his views are “barking mad.” Israel’s opposition leader said his statements are “shocking and disgusting.” A Latin American diplomat said, “he would make an important contribution to anti-American sentiment around the world.”

And, Boris Johnson, who loves Trump and may be the next Prime Minister, once said, “The only reason I wouldn’t visit some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump.”

Trump has sworn not to work with the UK’s ambassador and uninvited him to a party after the cables were leaked and the White House has probably unsubscribed from Britbox. But, Trump is willing to work with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un and has invited him to the White House, even though Kim once called him a “dotard.”

While our allies are aghast and are horrified that Trump is inept, leaders in places like North Korea, Russia, Saudi Arabia, and China are delighted. Throw the guy a sword dance and he’s orange putty in your hands.

During a speech to the United Nations, the entire delegation laughed at Trump after he claimed he was the most successful president in U.S. history. Darroch’s view that Trump is inept may have been a secret, but it’s not a secret to the world that Trump is inept.

It’s also not a secret that he’s a wanker.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Why Are You Here?

cjones07072019

The White House, Trump Campaign and Organization has always presented Ivanka Trump as the voice of reason within the Trump Family. She comes off soft-spoken and eloquent without engaging in tirades like her imbecilic father. She doesn’t send out racist tweets like her brother Don Jr. She’s not the stupid one like Eric. I don’t buy any of it. She might be the worst one from the family that would creep out the Addams family. Everything you need to know about Ivanka Trump you can take from the fact she accepted a position in the White House. Working in a presidential administration, even one headed by Putin’s puppet, reveals Ivanka’s arrogance.

Ivanka has always been obtuse and arrogant. She’s never had a position based upon qualifications. What qualified her to be an executive in a real estate company, even a grifting, charity-stealing corporation that was built on loans and inheritance from her grandfather? Was her qualification that she’s experienced living in a building? What qualified her to design clothes and have her own fashion line? Her experience wearing clothes? What makes her an expert on women empowerment for the White House? The fact she’s a woman? We know she’s a woman because Donald Trump has talked about dating her.

On a side note; sending Ivanka to a side-meeting at the G20 on women empowerment tells the rest of the attendees it’s not a subject this administration takes seriously.

The Princess of Nepotism who was gifted a security clearance and once said without a trace of irony, “I don’t think most Americans, in their heart, want to be given something,” made the G20 awkward for world leaders. Perhaps you can get a whiff of her self-delusion from the photo of her sticking her face between her daddy and the prime minister of Japan. What was the subject that required her input? Handbags? Or maybe you can detect her delusional self-confidence from the video the French government released of her chiming in during a discussion between British prime minister Theresa May, International Monetary Fund managing director Christine Legarde, French president Emmanuel Macron, and Canadian prime minister Justine Trudeau, who she was probably just stalking. It’s like someone laughing too loud at a joke they don’t get. But the joke at the G20 was Ivanka, which was evidenced by the impatient side-eye Legarde gave her. The joke in Washington is that she and her husband, believe they belong in shaping policy. Another joke was when Donald Trump promised to hire the “best people.”

Representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez pointed out the astute fact the White House doesn’t understand, that “being someone’s daughter isn’t a career qualification.”

The White House issued a statement attacking her critics and calling them “absolutely pathetic.” Here’s the thing that’s pathetic; if she wasn’t the president’s daughter, the White House wouldn’t be issuing a statement (in which they also said she’s “created millions of jobs”).

From posing from the windows in Buckingham Palace (in order that everybody saw her), to attending summits, sitting at the big tables, sticking her pretty head between world leaders, to skipping across the DMZ while the national security adviser was in Mongolia shoring up our strategic alliance with nomadic goat herders, Ivanka is everywhere she’s not supposed to be.

After Ivanka returned from her foray in the DPRK, she described it as “surreal.” A former ambassador to South Korea, Christopher Hill, called her presence “increasingly problematic” and that it gives the impression that we have a “constitutional monarchy.” Hill also said, “It says to our allies, to everyone we do business with, that the only people who matter are Trump and his family members.”

The actual importance of Ivanka’s presence at these summits was revealed by an unnamed Indian diplomat who insulted her. His comments explain why he was quoted anonymously. He said, “We regard Ivanka Trump as a half-wit Saudi princes. It’s in our national interest to flatter them.”

Ivanka Trump is being flattered and patronized and she’s clueless about it, just like her father. Nobody wants her there except her daddy. Fighting the temptation to roll your eyes while telling Ivanka, “Of course people respect your input here” would be like trying not to blink when you sneeze. You might crack your skull.

Ivanka needs to stop pretending she belongs in Washington or in any government service. She should go back home and pretend to do whatever it was she used to pretend she did there. She needs to take her trust-fund baby husband with her.

We know why Ivanka’s daddy is here. Russia installed him into the presidency. But, Ivanka, why are you here?

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Laughing With Nikki

cjones10132018

The United States’ ambassador to the United Nations is doing something unusual. She’s leaving the Trump administration without her middle finger in the air. She’s not being forced out for a scandal, quitting in anger, or discovering she’s being fired through Twitter while sitting on a toilet.

The former governor of South Carolina is one of the few high-profile women in the Trump administration. Sources within the White House say she’s leaving because of fatigue (we’re all fatigued from this administration, Nikki) and that she wanted to leave before the midterms to avoid embarrassing Trump in case the election doesn’t go his way, which it probably won’t.

Haley is staying until the end of the year and Trump says he’ll name her successor within the next three weeks. One name that’s popped up is his daughter, Ivanka. Yes. Seriously. Haley said that Ivanka’s husband, Mr. Ivanka is “such a hidden genius that no one understands.” She’s right. I don’t understand that statement. Referring to the couple, she also said, “Ivanka has been just a great friend, and they do a lot of things behind the scenes that I wish more people knew about.” We do too. We’d love to know what they’re doing behind the scenes. Maybe it would explain why our government punishes nations that refuse to give loans to Jared’s company.

Haley is also one of the few in the administration with her reputation still intact. She was critical of Trump before he became the nominee, saying we shouldn’t be tempted by his hatred and calling for him to release his taxes, yet she eagerly accepted the UN post. She has aspirations for higher office and needed experience with foreign policy. But, how well can she run for office in the future on a platform of Trump’s foreign policy?

During her tenure, she announced new sanctions against Russia only for the White House to announce the next day that the sanctions weren’t happening and that Haley was confused. The Ambassador responded with, “I don’t get confused.” I’m not sure about that as she had previously warned that a Trump administration could start World War III, and took the job, and now plans to campaign for Trump in 2020. Maybe she is confused.

While Trump has been afraid to level any criticism toward Russia and Vladimir Putin, and sides with the dictator over American intelligence, Haley has strongly criticized Russia.

Also, during her tenure, the U.S. embassy in Israel was moved to Jerusalem, which the rest of the civilized world disagreed with. Then, Haley announced she was “taking names” at the United Nations of the countries that voted to reject Trump’s move of the embassy. The U.S. also stripped funding for the Palestinians and pulled out of the Iran Nuclear Agreement.

Representing The United States, she voted against a U.N. resolution titled “The Question of the Death Penalty”, which condemned the use of capital punishment when “applied arbitrarily or in a discriminatory manner” and specifically condemned “the imposition of the death penalty as a sanction for specific forms of conduct, such as apostasy, blasphemy, adultery and consensual same-sex relations.” What in that language did the Trump administration find disagreeable? That vote went in line with the U.S. withdrawal from the U.N.’s Human Rights Council.

Haley has been accused of violating executive branch regulations against accepting gifts. In 2017, she and her husband accepted seven free flights on luxury private aircraft from three South Carolina businessmen, which is probably worth tens of thousands of dollars. Her defense is that the political donors don’t qualify as donors to her, because they’re friends.

Haley is in debt for over a million dollars, and she has two kids headed to college. So, one reason she may have to resign now is to make some mega bucks for at least a couple of years in the private sector. That sounds much more plausible than the Senate theory.

Some speculate that Trump will fire Attorney General Jeff Sessions after the midterms, replace him with his newest poodle, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, and then the governor of that state will appoint the Senate seat to Haley. I don’t think there are teeth to that as she wouldn’t need to resign her U.N. job at this time for that scenario. Joining the Republicans in the Senate would probably make her miss the Iranians and North Koreans at the U.N.

Donald Trump claimed the world was laughing at us during the Obama administration. During his last address to the U.N., the world literally laughed at him. The United States has become a laughingstock during Haley’s tenure at the U.N. While she claimed they weren’t laughing at Trump, but with him, it will be a hurdle in her future.

America’s foreign policy is a mess since Trump took office. We criticize Canada while praising dictators, with the president even stating he “fell in love” with Kim Jong Un. Respect for the United States has decreased significantly.

So, when Haley runs for future office on her accomplishments with Trump’s foreign policy, I hope she notices that they’re NOT laughing with her.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Big Trouble In Little China

cjones12062016

Before Japan invaded China in World War II China was in the midst of a civil war between the nationalist government and communist. They ceased fighting each other (somewhat) to fight the Japanese. After the war they picked up where they left off and when the commies won the nationalist fled to the island of Formosa (now Taiwan) and both declared themselves the rightful rulers of all of China.

The Peoples Republic of China (PRC) rules the mainland and most nations recognize them (they have a permanent seat on the United Nation’s Security Council, they have a large military, everybody does business with them, they own 17 % of U.S. debt, etc).

The Republic of China (ROC) rules the island and they’re only recognized by 22 nations. Interesting note: The Vatican recognizes them but embassies to them have to be located in Rome, so Taiwan’s embassy to the Vatican is technically located in a nation that doesn’t recognize them. It’s kinda like the New York’s Jets and Giants being located in New Jersey…and New Jersey refused to acknowledge their existence.

The U.S. does not recognize Taiwan and the PRC is really touchy about it. We can’t even pretend to give them credibility. So when Dumbass-Elect took a phone call from the ROC (which his staff initiated) it didn’t sit well with China and was another display of the man’s ignorance. He’s not doing well with foreign diplomacy. He told the British Prime Minister “If you travel to the US, you should let me know,” and then proceeded to tell her who she should appoint as ambassador to the U.S. He told Pakistan’s president during their “fantastic” phone call that he wants to visit their nation (lots of issues with that. A lot).

Appointing Nazis to his cabinet, naming a Secretary of Defense who’s legally prohibited from taking the job, naming an Attorney General who doesn’t support voting rights, a Secretary of Education who hates public education, and Ben Dr. Doofus Carson as Secretary of HUD, the man’s transition wouldn’t be complete without starting World War III by committing a snafu.

A president-elect does not do what Trump does. While retweeting tweets from 16-year-olds and tweeting criticism at Saturday Night Live and Alec Baldwin, Trump doesn’t have time for intelligence briefings. His chat with the president of Taiwan shows that Donald Trump can’t afford to miss intelligence briefings.

Placing national security and U.S. relations in turmoil is worth the risk to Donald Trump if he can get a phone call to receive a compliment.

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You Never Hold My Hand And Skip With Me

cjones04252016

The Saudi kingdom is not very happy with President Obama or the United States right now. In the past, the Saudi king literally held hands with president Bush. They wouldn’t even meet Obama at the airport.

The Saudis are unhappy with issues ranging from the conflict in Yemen, the role of Iran, Lebanon’s instability, the fight against ISIS, and falling gas prices. The most contentious of issues is a Saudi threat to dump U.S. assets if Obama signs into law a bill that could make the kingdom liable for damages stemming from the September 11 terror attacks.

The Saudis also believe we are devoting more attention to their rival, Iran, and Obama has described the Saudis as “so-called allies” and has complained their policies fuel anti-U.S. terror and regional chaos.

Obama should describe the situation as it actually exists. We always talk about freedom while we support a nation that isn’t even remotely free for the majority of its citizens. Saudi Arabia should put troops on the ground to fight ISIS before we make any sort of commitment and while they’re at it, take the anti-American curriculum out of its education system. Maybe in the future terrorists will have a harder time recruiting hijackers from Saudi Arabia than they did in 2001.

A grown man holding another grown man’s hand in public is a sign of friendship and respect in the Middle East. That’s fine, and I haven’t asked, but I doubt my best friend wants to do that with me. I’m not against grown men holding hands but right now. I’m just not ready for another image of my president holding hands with a freedom-hating monarch.

I do miss drawing George W. Bush and that’s the only thing I miss about him.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

War With Russia

cjones11272015

I resisted joining the herd of political cartoonists drawing turkeys to symbolize the nation of Turkey. Did Turkey plan to jump in American news the week of Thanksgiving? They could have timed it better for cartoonist by giving their turkey cartoons a few more days of shelf life.

A lot of people who declare we should put troops into Iraq and Syria, and others who say we should go to Ukraine, never sign up themselves. They’re real quick with the war plans if they’re not a part of the plan. Hell, these people don’t even want to pay for it monetarily. They’re really good at taking their guns into Walmart and coffee shops though.

On top of that a lot of conservatives idolize Vladimir Putin over Obama, and gloat over how strong of a leader he is. Now they’re even gloating about France’s war with terrorism because they’ve dropped about two percent of the bombs the U.S. has dropped on ISIS. But they’re in love with Putin. He’s a homosexual hating bully, so go figure.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Dr. Sleepy Tackles Foreign Policy

cjones11212015

I love listening to Ben Carson explain foreign policy, or any issue really. It’s like listening to a three-year-old child explain trigonometry. It’s cute.

Word comes out now that Dr. Crazy McSleepy Pants doesn’t understand what his foreign policy advisers have been telling him.

Duane Clarridge, a former CIA agent (who was involved in Iran-Contra and now runs his own private spy company), told The New York Times that Carson doesn’t get foreign policy.

“Nobody has been able to sit down with him and have him get one iota of intelligent information about the Middle East.” He also said Mr. Carson needed weekly conference calls briefing him on foreign policy so “we can make him smart.”

If it’s Mr. Clarridge’s job to make him smart, then he better be the Michelangelo of making people smart because Ben Carson is his Sistine Chapel.

Carson later explained that Mr. Clarridge is not one of his advisers. He’s just someone who gives him advice on foreign policy. His campaign suggested that Clarridge is an old codger who’s losing his mental capacity. That sounds more like a description of their candidate.

Carson has stumbled on foreign policy. Actually it’s less of a stumble and more of a fall down an elevator shaft. Carson thinks the Chinese are in Syria. He can’t name one U.S. ally, though the United States has lots. You can just pick a name and it’ll probably be a U.S. ally. His campaign released a map this week and screwed up the location of several New England states. He’s ignorant that the three Baltic states are members of NATO. He thinks we can slip all the Palestinians into Egypt (more fun with maps?). He also doesn’t know the role of the Knesset, Israel’s parliament. This is all after his theory that the Egyptian pyramids were built to store grain and would be ideal for holding Palestinians.

A day or so later Carson compared Syrian refugees to rabid dogs. You know, we can’t let them in as a few might be rabid and you don’t want your children around something as dangerous as a rabid dog…or a Republican candidate for president. He’s also a fan of putting every Muslim in the U.S. into a database.

Dr. Dumbass cites traveling abroad as equipping him for foreign policy. He’s also eaten at Taco Bell which has made him an expert on Latin America.

Carson was matching Trump in the polls, and even topping him in some of them. He’s starting to fall. Go figure. Even Republican voters would like a candidate who could locate Vermont on a map if you asked him. If he wants to stop the bleeding he better hurry up the smarting process.

Arriba! Arriba!

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Obama’s Afghanistan

cjones10172015

On Thursday Obama officially gave up ending the war in Afghanistan. It was something he vowed to do before he was elected. This has to be a huge disappointment for the president.

Despite killing Osama bin Laden and other terrorists, mostly through the controversial drone program, most people (not just Republicans) give the president low marks in foreign policy. I think the president realized people are going to remember Iraq and Afghanistan more than his other foreign policy endeavors.

The bad part is Iraq and Afghanistan were inherited from the previous administration. Hopefully it won’t be leftover again after the next. I also hope the candidates vying for the job will start talking about Afghanistan.

I know it’s a bold prediction drawing the future administration here. But I believe that if Malia becomes president she’ll have the same color drapes in the Oval Office as her father.

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