Democracy And Dogs

To briefly sum up what the Supreme Court ruled yesterday, that presidents have immunity from committing criminal acts… bullshit.

As Sarah Marshall said in the fantastic film Forgetting Sarah Marshall, “Bullshit, bullshit bullshit, bullshit.” SCOTUS’ ruling contains more bullshit than the hodgepodge of tattoos on Aldous Snow, Sarah Marshall’s drug-addicted walking petri dish of various STDs excuse of a boyfriend.

Because of this, not Aldous’ tattoos, drug addiction, or STDs, but because of SCOTUS, our Independence Day is bullshit. Independence Day celebrates our independence from a monarchy. Our nation was established as a democracy where its citizens, at least the white ones at the time, had representation. It’s why we threw all that tea into the harbor in Boston while appropriating Native American culture. We wanted the king to know we were mad as hell, but we didn’t want him to know it was us who trashed his tea. At least they weren’t dumb enough to wear tea bags on their hats and call themselves “teabaggers.”

Remember the Teabaggers? They were so upset about the spending they believed President-Elect Barack Obama was planning do, but didn’t organize into a teabag-hat wearing-protest group during the financing of two wars with tax cuts for billionaires and disbanded when the $17 billion-spending Trump administration was warming up. Hmmm….maybe it wasn’t really about the spending and more about a black guy becoming president and their fondness of teabagging each other. I digress (in case you’re a Republican, “digress” is not a euphemism for sticking your balls in your friend’s gaping mouth while he’s passed out drunk from an all-night kegger).

What is the point of Independence Day, celebrating our breakaway from a king, if we’re going to live under the tyranny of another king, this one orange and Oompa-Loompa like. Doopity-doo.

Is our Independence Day going to be like when Trump refers to patriotism, independence, freedom, and democracy, in name only? After the SCOTUS ruling, Trump said it was a victory for democracy when it’s actually a win for fascism and the fascist fucks who worship at the toes of authoritarianism.

I’m more afraid that this nation will allow Trump to become its dictator, its king than dogs are afraid of fireworks on the Fourth of July.

If you need me, and I don’t make it to Europe, you can find me under the bed.

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