Fourth Of July

Infecting Monuments


CNN07052020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

Here’s a question: Has anyone checked to see if Donald Trump’s trip to South Dakota was paid for by the Trump Campaign, or was it officially listed as a “presidential” (sic) trip thus sticking us with the bill for his hate speech?

Donald Trump went to South Dakota for an early July 4th celebration last Friday. The event was held at the foot of Mt. Rushmore where the Republican governor declared social distancing would not be enacted (chairs were literally tied together to prevent social distancing) and face masks were optional. From the videos of the event, very few face masks were worn.

As is tradition with Donald Trump, he gave a hate speech casting his reelection campaign as a battle against a “new far-left fascism” seeking to wipe out the nation’s values and history. Donald Trump is betting his reelection on Confederate statues and instead of expanding his base, tightening his extremely small support of racists, white supremacists, klansmen, and neo-Nazis.

Trump said, “Our nation is witnessing a merciless campaign to wipe out our history, defame our heroes, erase our values and indoctrinate our children. Angry mobs are trying to tear down statues of our founders, deface our most sacred memorials, and unleash a wave of violent crime in our cities.” He barely mentioned the coronavirus which I’m sure several lucky winners in attendance would be leaving home with.

Donald Trump ignored his own White House guidelines for large gatherings for the South Dakota and Saturday’s Washington, DC crowd. Trump told his faithful on Friday, “We will not be tyrannized, we will not be demeaned, and we will not be intimidated by bad, evil people.”

But, Donald Trump, you are the one doing the tyranny, demeaning, and intimidation. You, Republicans, and your cult are the bad, evil people. If you, Donald Trump, were on the right side of this fight intending to land on the right side of history, you wouldn’t have lie and campaign on hate and fear.

Hopefully, in the future, nobody will be tearing down statues of Donald Trump because there won’t be any to begin with. That’s because Donald Trump is no hero.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Happy Something Something


cjones07062019

Donald Trump loves to take credit where he deserves none. He takes credit for inheriting Obama’s economy. He took credit for no commercial airline crashes in 2017, despite there also not being any for nearly the past decade. He took credit for the phrase “priming the pump,” which has been around at least since the 1930s. He’s taken credit for Lady Gaga being a star (really). He’s taken credit for rebuilding the military, which has not been rebuilt. He’s taken credit for replenishing nuclear weapons which is another lie unless he’s referring to Russia, Iran, and North Korea. He’s even taken credit for ending the conspiracy of Obama being born outside the United States. Seriously. Trump also likes to take credit for things you’ve always had, like the freedom to say “Merry Christmas.” Stupid people have actually thanked him for this. I have a middle finger I’d like to thank him for.

Yesterday, Trump took credit for the plant in Lima, Ohio that makes tanks for the U.S. military not being shut down, despite it receiving funds in 2013, 2014, and 2017, even though the Army keeps telling Congress they don’t need more tanks (currently, there are over 4,000 tanks that have never been used in storage in the desert).

Speaking of tanks, Donald Trump has asked the Pentagon to roll a bunch of them through Washington on the Fourth of July as part of his co-opting the capital’s annual celebration into a massive Trump rally. He’s also ordered the presidential helicopter, Marine One, Air Force One, a stealth fighter, another squadron of fighter jets, and more helicopters, and 40,000 idiots in MAGA hats. This event will bring physical (tanks) and emotional (Trump and MAGA hat idiots) damage to Washington, D.C. Trump’s celebration of himself will even freeze air traffic to and from Reagan National Airport, which was also frozen once because of al Qaida.

Donald Trump ruins everything he touches. Now, he’s going to ruin the Fourth of July, a holiday that he and his cultists would have difficulty telling you which day of the month it lands on.

Trump is using a national holiday, the capital, the military, and taxpayer money to glorify himself. Because there won’t be any dictators around, Trump has to yank his own dick.

The White House will “give out” tickets for attendees to sit in a VIP section, which I’m sure we’ll learn later was sold by the Trump Campaign (wait for it). Trump’s people attempted to cancel the multiyear contract the Park Service has with a fireworks company so that a campaign contributor could “donate” their services.

The Abrams tank weights more than 60 tons, which is slightly less than Trump’s ego. Despite the city’s protest, Trump plans to have them destroy the city’s streets and perhaps the rooms underneath the Lincoln Memorial. Trump also boasted about the “new” Sherman tanks, which, like his brain, haven’t been in use since the 1950s.

Trump will expect people to thank him for the Fourth of July after this event. There are currently commercials more annoying than that Cars 4 Kids jingle asking Americans to call the White House to “thank President Trump,” for what, I don’t know. Now, they can add a holiday. Just like Trump cultists don’t remember the economy Obama gave them, they’ll forget we had the Fourth of July before Trump. Personally, I’m kinda worried about Trump cultists around fireworks, but then again, that’s a problem that might solve itself.

Fortunately, there will be people present with IQs higher than shoe sizes to let Trump know he’s not appreciated and we’re not thankful for a damn thing he’s done to this country. Protesters have been granted permits to demonstrate in the capital and the Trump Baby may even make an appearance. I mean the balloon Trump Baby. The other Trump baby has guaranteed he’ll show up.

Trump should avoid hijacking a national holiday and instead tweet out a “happy Fourth to everyone, even the haters” from his bed of hamberders in the midsts of his usual retweets of neo-Nazi videos.

We all get to look forward to Trump’s whiny voice on this special day. Now, in addition to fireworks, there’s something else that’ll hurt dogs’ ears on July the Fourth. If you need me, I’ll be under the bed with the dog.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Feliz Dia De La Independencia


cjones07072018

I find today very ironic and hypocritical. We celebrate a holiday that commemorates our freedom and Independence while our nation separates families, throws children in detention centers, and holds them hostage for the parents to choose between their legal rights to seek asylum or being reunited.

I’m a glass-is-a-little-less-than-half-empty kind of person. It’s really hard for me to feel optimism and pride in my nation while we engage in policies that will make future readers of history books shake their heads. While a majority of Americans believe the president of the United States is a racist and bases his policies on his racism, a large contingent still support him.

President Obama said with Trump’s presidency, “we’re about to find out just how resilient our institutions are, at home and around the world.” But, what if they’re not really that resilient? Our institutions lie within the people, but what if the people support a racist madman who cares more about crowd sizes, ratings, and who gets the most scoops of ice cream than he does about policy or people?

I have an inability to refrain from pointing out the negative while people celebrate the positive. Instead of joining with the shiny happy people, I tend to focus on the serious, like the Supreme Court influenced by Trump for decades, to his baby prisons, to the petty stuff, like I’m going to see someone put ketchup on a hot dog today. Turbulent times, indeed.

It’s probably why I’m not invited to a lot of holiday parties.

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