Buh-Bye, Blubber


I know. I know. Donald Trump weighs more than 243 pounds, but I’m going with what his doctor claims.

When I came up with this idea (while trying to get one on another subject, as usual), my first thought was on how much to list his weight. I do my research so I looked up the last lie that came from his physical and it’s listed at 243. We all know that’s a lie. If you have eyes, you know that’s a lie.

Political cartoons do make fun of people’s appearances but that should never be the point (even though I made an entire cartoon recently on Kelly Loeffler’s extremely long neck). But the rules on making fun of someone’s weight can change depending upon their character. Like, if they’re just generally a rotten human being, you can make fun of their weight. If they made fun of other people’s weight, for example, calling a woman a “fat pig,” you can make fun of their weight. And, if they make their weight an issue, you can make fun of their weight. Also, if they choose to look like an orange clown with a bleached ferret on their head, you can make fun of them.

Donald Trump’s weight and health became another part of the chaos and insanity he brought to this nation. When his doctor comes out and says Donald Trump can live up to 200 years, you can go after them. Even his last physical became a major news item because they didn’t just lie about the results, they lied about taking the physical.

Donald Trump unexpectedly went to the hospital in 2019 and no one knows why. The White House claimed he was taking his physical on different dates, like they were chopping it up. One day, he steps on a scale. The next day, they stick a finger in his ass. No, they don’t do it like that. They do it all at once. Have you ever had a physical? If so, then you know the entire unpleasant experience is all at once. And for Donald Trump’s doctor, really unpleasant for him.

The subject of Donald Trump’s weight, his lying about it, and other people lying about it (how does he get people to do that?), is just one more bonus of dropping Donald Trump. There’s a lot of crazy stupid shit we’re getting rid of while also having a lot to clean up too.

And yeah, 243 can’t be accurate and I know I’ll be getting shit about it all day. The cartoon is dated for the first day of the year (in case you’re a Republican, that’s January 1), so I’ll be getting additional shit then on GoComics. I already posted this cartoon on Facebook, and I swear I’m not exaggerating but within a minute, someone gave me shit about the 243. By now, there are about 20 comments about the 243 not being right. It has turned into a guessing game. 285? 340? 400? There should be a national contest for it. If you guess the correct weight, you get the coronavirus vaccine.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter how much orange blubber there is, on January 20, it’s gone.

Buh-bye, blubber.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Update on book: They’re here but…I forgot to order envelopes. Shit. Envelopes are on the way. I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have assumed I had enough on hand. I swear that about 30 book envelopes disappeared out of my apartment.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Cheated By Democracy


A lot of American Venezuelans voted for Donald Trump because they don’t want America to become like Venezuela, you know…where the leader refused to step down and recognize a fair election.

Sorry for the short blog. I woke to a surprise assignment today.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Travesty For Turks


Many years ago the most disturbing thing that disturbed me about the nation of Turkey was the squat toilet which is, or was, common there. Basically, it’s a hole in the floor that you flush. But instead of sitting while you poop, you squat over it.

Turkish President ­Recep Tayyip Erdogan has just squatted over his entire nation and didn’t even have the courtesy to flush.

To understand the drama playing out in Turkey we need to refer to Star Wars, Episode III. Everything in life can be explained through either Star Wars or an episode of Seinfeld. It’s true, but the closest analogy I can think of from Seinfeld to describe Erdogan is the Soup Nazi. No democracy for you!

In Episode III of Star Wars, Revenge Of The Sith, Chancellor Palpatine uses a war to increase his power, abolish his term limits, and eventually forces his opposition to attempt a coup, which he then uses as his reasoning to kill democracy and install an empire and declares himself emperor. Twenty years later in Episode IV, A New Hope, he abolishes the senate and tells them to take a hike. It was Jar Jar in Episode II who got the whole tyrant ball rolling by proposing executive powers for the chancellor, but we’ll bitch about that annoying Gungan another time.

Turkey is embroiled in an armed conflict with Kurds, the Syrian Civil war, and experienced a failed attempt at a military coup last July that many are skeptical over. Erdogan has used the coup to increase his power and imprison many of his critics. 40,000 people were detained after the coup, including 10,000 soldiers. Without giving specific reasons, 2,745 judges were also detained. 15,000 educators were suspended and the licenses of 21,000 teachers working at private institutions were revoked. Over 100,000 people have been purged. Erdogan blamed the coup on his opposition, the Gulen Movement, and labeled them a terrorist organization (which Palpatine did to the Jedi) and their leader now lives in exile in Pennsylvania which is the equivalent of Dagobah and Tatooine as there’s nothing to do in any of those places.

Erdogan also used the coup for an emergency referendum held last Sunday that would increase his power and effectively eliminate democracy in Turkey. The eighteen amendments to the Turkish constitution passed on a 51-48% vote.

The proponents for the measures were able to use government resources and funding to stage rallies and support for a yes vote. Critics were suppressed including press coverage, with many being assaulted. International election monitors claim there were a lot of illegal votes, maybe millions.

With the changes the president becomes the head of state and government. It abolishes the prime minister and increases members of parliament, who now need an absolute majority (301 out of 600)  to override a presidential veto, or give him what he wants. The president now has the power to appoint and sack ministers and the vice president. The president no longer has to terminate his party membership (which was a requirement). The president has expanded powers to appoint judges and prosecutors. Perhaps the most significant detail out of this is that Term limits for the presidency will be reset and, if Erdogan wins elections in 2019 and 2024, he could be in power until 2029.

Erdogan said anyone who voted no is a terrorist and that international election monitors need to “know their place.” He plans to use his new powers to reinstate the death penalty which will also prevent Turkey from joining the European Union.

If Erdogan has a majority in Parliament, and he does, he can do whatever he wants. He has effectively become a dictator and democracy has died in Turkey. Donald Trump called Erdogan to offer his congratulations.

Of course I’m really bothered by the prosecution of journalists which includes cartoonists Bahadir Baruter and Ozer Aydogan, who both were recently convicted and will serve nearly a year in prison for doing what I do, making fun of the president. While both cartoonists declared their innocence, I’m guilty as hell of those charges. Ask my clients. In addition to those charges, Baruter faces further prosecution for insulting the prosecutor, who I’ve been told by reliable sources is a dick.

We can add the Turkish Referendum to the list of recent scary and freakish election results such as Brexit and Donald Trump. France is next in line. There’s a rise in the West of those who want to elect tyrants, decrease Democracy and silence criticism.

People like Trump and Erdogan try to silence and delegitimize their critics and tell them to be quiet. I’m not good at being quiet and I hope you’re not either.

We have a responsibility to be very noisy right now.

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Chinese Democracy


I was talking to a guy last week who told me if George W. Bush was in charge we’d be taking care of Russia and the Ukraine situation and have troops in Hong Kong fighting China. George W. Bush couldn’t even stop the tragedy of Guns And Roses album Chinese Democracy less enough deal with Hong Kong’s Chinese Democracy.

A week or so ago cartoonist were drawing kilts covering the Scotland independence vote. This week they’re drawing dragons. I didn’t think the world needed another.