Buh-Bye, Blubber


cjones01012021

I know. I know. Donald Trump weighs more than 243 pounds, but I’m going with what his doctor claims.

When I came up with this idea (while trying to get one on another subject, as usual), my first thought was on how much to list his weight. I do my research so I looked up the last lie that came from his physical and it’s listed at 243. We all know that’s a lie. If you have eyes, you know that’s a lie.

Political cartoons do make fun of people’s appearances but that should never be the point (even though I made an entire cartoon recently on Kelly Loeffler’s extremely long neck). But the rules on making fun of someone’s weight can change depending upon their character. Like, if they’re just generally a rotten human being, you can make fun of their weight. If they made fun of other people’s weight, for example, calling a woman a “fat pig,” you can make fun of their weight. And, if they make their weight an issue, you can make fun of their weight. Also, if they choose to look like an orange clown with a bleached ferret on their head, you can make fun of them.

Donald Trump’s weight and health became another part of the chaos and insanity he brought to this nation. When his doctor comes out and says Donald Trump can live up to 200 years, you can go after them. Even his last physical became a major news item because they didn’t just lie about the results, they lied about taking the physical.

Donald Trump unexpectedly went to the hospital in 2019 and no one knows why. The White House claimed he was taking his physical on different dates, like they were chopping it up. One day, he steps on a scale. The next day, they stick a finger in his ass. No, they don’t do it like that. They do it all at once. Have you ever had a physical? If so, then you know the entire unpleasant experience is all at once. And for Donald Trump’s doctor, really unpleasant for him.

The subject of Donald Trump’s weight, his lying about it, and other people lying about it (how does he get people to do that?), is just one more bonus of dropping Donald Trump. There’s a lot of crazy stupid shit we’re getting rid of while also having a lot to clean up too.

And yeah, 243 can’t be accurate and I know I’ll be getting shit about it all day. The cartoon is dated for the first day of the year (in case you’re a Republican, that’s January 1), so I’ll be getting additional shit then on GoComics. I already posted this cartoon on Facebook, and I swear I’m not exaggerating but within a minute, someone gave me shit about the 243. By now, there are about 20 comments about the 243 not being right. It has turned into a guessing game. 285? 340? 400? There should be a national contest for it. If you guess the correct weight, you get the coronavirus vaccine.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter how much orange blubber there is, on January 20, it’s gone.

Buh-bye, blubber.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Update on book: They’re here but…I forgot to order envelopes. Shit. Envelopes are on the way. I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have assumed I had enough on hand. I swear that about 30 book envelopes disappeared out of my apartment.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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6 comments

  1. When I was sick a number of years ago, my reverse-action body blossomed to 265 lbs. (if I am supposed to lose weight, I gain it; if I am supposed to gain weight, I lose it–like go completely off the tracks, lol!) Anyways, at 265 I looked a lot more svelte than he has for years. Just to look at him, I would say he had some kind of bowel disease, he is so bloated all the time. In other words, he is literally full of shit!

    Liked by 2 people

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