New Year

Buh-Bye, Blubber


cjones01012021

I know. I know. Donald Trump weighs more than 243 pounds, but I’m going with what his doctor claims.

When I came up with this idea (while trying to get one on another subject, as usual), my first thought was on how much to list his weight. I do my research so I looked up the last lie that came from his physical and it’s listed at 243. We all know that’s a lie. If you have eyes, you know that’s a lie.

Political cartoons do make fun of people’s appearances but that should never be the point (even though I made an entire cartoon recently on Kelly Loeffler’s extremely long neck). But the rules on making fun of someone’s weight can change depending upon their character. Like, if they’re just generally a rotten human being, you can make fun of their weight. If they made fun of other people’s weight, for example, calling a woman a “fat pig,” you can make fun of their weight. And, if they make their weight an issue, you can make fun of their weight. Also, if they choose to look like an orange clown with a bleached ferret on their head, you can make fun of them.

Donald Trump’s weight and health became another part of the chaos and insanity he brought to this nation. When his doctor comes out and says Donald Trump can live up to 200 years, you can go after them. Even his last physical became a major news item because they didn’t just lie about the results, they lied about taking the physical.

Donald Trump unexpectedly went to the hospital in 2019 and no one knows why. The White House claimed he was taking his physical on different dates, like they were chopping it up. One day, he steps on a scale. The next day, they stick a finger in his ass. No, they don’t do it like that. They do it all at once. Have you ever had a physical? If so, then you know the entire unpleasant experience is all at once. And for Donald Trump’s doctor, really unpleasant for him.

The subject of Donald Trump’s weight, his lying about it, and other people lying about it (how does he get people to do that?), is just one more bonus of dropping Donald Trump. There’s a lot of crazy stupid shit we’re getting rid of while also having a lot to clean up too.

And yeah, 243 can’t be accurate and I know I’ll be getting shit about it all day. The cartoon is dated for the first day of the year (in case you’re a Republican, that’s January 1), so I’ll be getting additional shit then on GoComics. I already posted this cartoon on Facebook, and I swear I’m not exaggerating but within a minute, someone gave me shit about the 243. By now, there are about 20 comments about the 243 not being right. It has turned into a guessing game. 285? 340? 400? There should be a national contest for it. If you guess the correct weight, you get the coronavirus vaccine.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter how much orange blubber there is, on January 20, it’s gone.

Buh-bye, blubber.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Update on book: They’re here but…I forgot to order envelopes. Shit. Envelopes are on the way. I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have assumed I had enough on hand. I swear that about 30 book envelopes disappeared out of my apartment.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

May Old Trumpster Fires Be Forgot


cjones12312020

Everyone pretty much agrees 2020 was the suck of all sucks when it comes to years. About the only people who disagree are billionaire assholes who were able to take advantage of a global pandemic to become bigger billionaire assholes.

But we didn’t just get a shitty year with 2020. We got shitty years in 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. We’ve had four years of a racist in the White House defending Vladimir Putin and Nazis. We’ve had an orange shitgibbon throwing babies into cages. We seen four years of huge government spending on a useless racist border wall and huge tax cuts for billionaires. We’ve had four years of a child in the White House attacking facts while telling over 20,000 lies. We’ve had four years of a conman grifting the country for his own wealth. We’ve had four years of a president (sic) acting as though laws don’t apply to him, and a political party acting like laws don’t apply to him. We’ve had four years of watching the Republican Party abandon all principles to become a cult. We’ve had four years of a cult devouring half this nation.

Personally, I’m conflicted. While watching my nation be destroyed from within by shitweasels and fucknuts, I was having a blast. But when political cartoonists are thriving, the nation is in trouble. We’re the guys who tell jokes at funerals.

As for the racist cult of troglodyte sycophants, I’ll say to you what Green Day sang and, “I hope you had the time of your life.” Appropriately, the name of that song is “Good Riddance.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020


cjones12292019

It only recently occurred to me that we’re not just coming to the end of another year, but also the end of another decade. OK, technically the decade doesn’t end until the end of 2020, but let’s not argue semantics today. I imagine somewhere someone’s making a big deal about the end of a decade, but I think the older you get, the less you care about it.

I’m more concerned about events over time than I am about dated milestones. I’m more concerned that my nation is headed for the worse over time instead of improving. I went from being optimistic from the Obama years to pessimistic from the Trump years. While we live in a nation that elected Barack Obama, nearly half the nation erupted in hatred and anger over electing the first black president.

In America, our first black president had to be nearly perfect as a human being. The white man who replaced him only had to be the worst of us. And now, it seems each year is getting worse. There is so much more that’s important in this nation than a thriving economy, which the angry old white man didn’t even give us.

With an impeachment trial to start 2020, and an election to end it, do you expect major change? Trump isn’t going anywhere soon and if you look at polls from swing states, we’re in danger of him staying beyond 2020. America may reelect its first impeached president.

If Trump is reelected, expect him to get worse. He will become more flagrant and won’t even attempt to hide his criminal activity anymore. Here are some predictions: We’ll see a White House visit for Vladimir Putin. The U.S. will pull out of NATO. Trump will start a new military alliance with Russia. Trump will pull U.S. troops out of South Korea and maybe even Japan. Trump will appoint Ivanka, or Jared, or both, to his cabinet.

Biggest prediction of all: Donald Trump will either run for a third term or attempt to abolish the 2024 election altogether. This prediction is based less on my wild imagination and more on Donald Trump, a man without a sense of humor, “joking” about being president for life.

Before we get rid of Donald Trump, things will get worse before they get better. It’s always darkest before the dawn. I predict very dark times ahead for the United States and the world.

Our dumpster fire will only grow more intense. Happy new year.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Hello, 2017


cjones12312016

This is my last cartoon for 2016. I will draw another cartoon before the new year starts but it will be dated for January 1. I think it’s appropriate that my last cartoon for the year is on Donald Trump as my first one was also.

A few months ago I thought I’d be done drawing Donald Trump by now. Yeah, I figured he’d stick around a bit longer making news by complaining about losing the election and his followers would be making national asses out of themselves. Who knew he’d win the election and with that win he’d keep complaining about it and his followers would be making national asses out of themselves? Anyone who claims they knew Trump would win didn’t know what they were talking about. They just got lucky.

While you’re celebrating the end of 2016 keep in mind that in January the Trump presidency begins. This national disaster and international embarrassment will afflict our nation for years, even after Trump is gone.

For the next four years (unless he’s impeached) we’re going to have narcissism, greed, stupidity, mass corruption, and evil people running our nation. Honorable people will resist and stand up for their nation during these dark times. I will be spending the next year chronicling the entire disaster and calling the crooks out.

Have a happy new year. Get your party on while you can because come January 20 we have work to do. The party’s over and now the real fun can begin.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!