Uncle Sam

Mueller Time


cjones03272019

While talking to my producer at CNN on Thursday afternoon, we were discussing the best subjects for this Sunday’s cartoon. We both liked one particular issue and thought it had the most potential for humor while acknowledging the Mueller Report was hanging over our heads. I told her, “those fuckers will probably release it at 5:00 P.M. Friday afternoon and screw us up.”

Those fuckers released it at 5:00 P.M. Friday afternoon and screwed us up.

Actually, I don’t think they screwed us up and we’re going to stick with the cartoon I finished for them Friday, which I’m really happy with. But, I had just finished my last cartoon for the day, which was my third. On Fridays, I have to draw for CNN, The Costa Rica Star, and my syndication which is what you see here on the blog. By the time I was done yesterday evening, I just wanted to eat dinner and go to sleep…then Mueller happened.

I did eat. My friend Dallas and I went out and talked about it. As I was walking out the door, I got my first idea…and then my second. This is the second, though Dallas really liked my first. I felt this one summed up the moment best. Of course, this cartoon is dated and will probably be worthless in a couple of days…maybe.

Regarding what we know, the Trump team are celebrating because there are to be no more indictments. That sucks. I was really hoping to see them delivered to Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, and perhaps even Ivanka and Hope Hicks. We know they lied and did their best to obstruct and collude with Russia. These are people who deserve to be charged for crimes.

I don’t know what’s in the Mueller Report yet but I do know there was collusion. What Mueller may not have been able to find is direct evidence that Trump was personally involved. But, the campaign hosted Russians at Trump Tower, had access to the stuff Wikileaks was stealing from the Clinton Campaign, and Donald Trump himself asked publicly for Russia to help him. We know that over a dozen people were in direct contact with Russia during the campaign.

We also know Trump obstructed justice. The guy told Lester Holt straight out that he fired Comey to end the investigation, then he told the same thing to…wait for it…RUSSIANS. Unfortunately, Mueller was never able to get Trump to testify verbally, and the written questions didn’t include any on obstruction. I feel no matter what’s in the report, we’re getting the shaft. We have a criminal in the White House, and while the Senate of sycophants would probably never convict him, I hate to see a corrupt president skate.

What I predict is that the Mueller report will NOT clear Trump, even if it doesn’t “indict” him. I don’t expect it to say there wasn’t any collusion or obstruction. I expect it to say they couldn’t gather all the facts…which is because of obstruction. Donald Trump and his cult will point at the report and claim it vindicates him, even though it won’t. But, these jerks have made those claims before, twisting statements from judges and politicians and at times, just making them up.

Mueller’s time may be over but our’s is just beginning. Whether Trump is impeached or voted out of office, he has to be removed from office. A stupid, racist, game show host kneedeep in corruption is in charge of our government and we can’t let this stand. I don’t care what the Mueller Report says, Donald Trump is more than just a bad president. He’s a danger and a national security risk. His move yesterday, recognizing the Golan Heights as a political favor proves that.

Mueller can retire in peace now, play golf, and sleep in. We gotta go to work.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

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Dr. Pimple Popper


cjones01062019

No. I did not pull this out of my butt. Doctor Pimple Popper is actually a thing. If you haven’t heard about it before, now you will.

Anytime something new enters the pop culture lexicon, political cartoonists think, “Can I use this for a cartoon”? It’s something I had to train my brain to do when I first started cartooning, and I’m still working on it. Sometimes, I have to see it three or four times before it occurs to me that it might be a cartoon. My brain can be slow. That was the case with Dr. Pimple Popper.

Doc Popper is pretty new for pop culture despite being around since 2010. I’m sure my use of it with this cartoon will make a few other cartoonists think, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Every cartoonist, including myself have done that. As for being the first to use this reference, it helps that most of my colleagues haven’t returned to their drawing tables yet after the holidays. Lazy bastards.

Instead of thinking about a cartoon the first time I saw a reference to Dr. Pimple Popper, I thought, “EW! I don’t want to see that.” When I was a teenager, I felt like God was punishing my face with acne. I really felt persecuted. My son got it even worse than I did, which made me feel guilty as hell. I have seen enough acne treatment to last two lifetimes, which is how long it does seem to last. So, I don’t need to see any television shows about popping pimples. I’m good.

But, guess what. There’s a TV show about popping pimples. Right when I’m wondering how many seasons The Walking Dead can get out of killing zombies; Dr. Pimple Popper has been renewed for a second season. But, hey. If Honey Boo Boo can get fives seasons, why can’t pimples get two?

Dr. Sandra Lee is Dr. Pimple Popper. She started uploading videos to YouTube of popping pimples in 2010. From that, she got her own TV show. Meanwhile, my YouTube channel of these cartoons being drawn and my witty commentary only has 254 subscribers after nearly a year. Pimples are more popular than my cartoons.

Dr. Lee’s show started on TLC (which I’m sure stands for something) back in July. The second season starts later this month. Last month, it had its own Christmas special. IT HAD ITS OWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! What did they call it, “Its a zitty Christmas, Charlie Brown?”

Our nation is experiencing a breakout of stupidity and just really bad taste. People are famous for being famous. It shouldn’t surprise me that we’re watching reality shows about popping pimples when our president was a reality show celebrity endorsed by Duck Dynasty reality celebrities. Are we living in a Simpson’s episode? When you think about it, it’s shocking there isn’t a Kardashian in the United States Senate.

Hopefully, Robert Mueller pops that one great big, giant, racist zit that’s revealed the ugliness of our nation, but I’m not sure anything can save us from the rest of the outbreak that is Trump sycophants.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.