Uncle Sam

Hate Your Face


cjones07252019

Why in the world would you want to see what you’re going to look like when you get older decades before it happens? Trust me. You’re probably going to find out and you may not like it. I’m not liking the results I’m seeing now.

FaceApp is a photo-altering smartphone app that is a new social media trend. Everyone from your brother to celebrities you don’t care about are posting pics of what they’ll look like in the future. I don’t care what the Jonas Brothers look like now so why would I care about their faces in the future?

There may be greater concerns with the app other than how decrepit and raggly you’re going to look as an old fogey. The app is owned by a Russian company and there are concerns about how much information you’re handing over to participate in a useless online endeavor.

The Democratic National Committee, who has every right to be wary of Russians having access to their information, sent out an alert to staffers on presidential campaigns to delete the app immediately. Quite frankly, I’m tired of Russians on the internet engaging in activities that put lines on the faces of Americans.

Since Russia helped install Donald Trump into the White House, everyone who has actual concerns for this nation has aged a lot more than two and a half years. After last night’s hate rally, I feel like I’ve aged about ten.

I got lines on my face on election night in 2016 when I saw 62 million Americans vote for a stupid, narcissistic, sexist racist for president. Watching an arena engage in a racist chant last night put even more lines on it. My faith in my country is being replaced by wrinkles.

I don’t need an app to see my face age. I have a mirror for that. What I wonder about the cultists shouting, “Send her back” at the hate rally is if they own mirrors, and how are they able to look in them.

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As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. 

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Jared Says “Nyet”


cjones04282019

Trust-fund baby and poster child for nepotism Jared Kushner said the investigation into Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election was worse for our country than the interference.

Jared said, “The whole thing is just a big distraction for the country. You look at what Russia did — buying some Facebook ads to try and sow dissent. And it’s a terrible thing, but I think the investigation and all the speculation that’s happened over the past two years has had a much harsher impact on our democracy than a couple of Facebook ads.”

A couple of Facebook ads? According to the Mueller Report and American Intelligence agencies, the Russias did a little more than buying a couple of Facebook ads in order to disrupt our country, hurt the Clinton campaign, and help Donald Trump. Jared should know. He was in the Trump Tower meeting with Russians. He saw first hand and up close how they were offering to help Trump win the election.

After the election, Jared went to the Russian embassy and attempted to establish a back channel to Moscow in order to communicate with Russia without our intelligence agencies detecting it. The idea was so stupid that it shocked the Russians, who passed on the idea. Up to that point, they thought Carter Page was the dumbest fuck to come out of the Trump campaign…other than Trump himself.

A Kremlin-backed entity called the Internet Research Agency, or IRA, ran the social media campaign out of St. Petersburg, Russia. The IRA purchased over 3,500 Facebook advertisements and spent some $100,000 on the political ads. According to the Mueller Report, the group also controlled multiple Facebook groups and Instagram accounts that “had hundreds of thousands of U.S. participants.” If you believe the Mueller Report exonerated Trump and have ignored the findings on Trump’s obstruction and willingness to accept help from Russians, then you were probably one of those participants. You are the cattle from the Russian troll farms.

After the election, a Facebook executive told Congress that the IRA controlled some 470 accounts that generated 80,000 posts between January 2015 and August 2017.

Mueller also reported, “Facebook estimated the IRA reached as many as 126 million persons through its Facebook accounts.” The IRA controlled Twitter accounts with “tens of thousands of followers.” Among the followers were “multiple U.S. political figures who retweeted IRA-created content.” You know, Republicans.

Twitter says the IRA controlled more than 3,800 accounts, and likely reached nearly 1.5 million Twitter users.

These are not the only facts Jared is ignoring. He didn’t mention Russia’s hacking and dumping of material belong to the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign. He also failed to mention his father-in-law publicly asking Russia to do this. He also didn’t mention Donald Trump Jr. saying in a reply to the Russians offering help, “I love it.”

Saying it was just a couple of Facebook ads that were used in a hostile nation’s attack against our country is like saying 9/11 was one or two planes flying into buildings, but who’s counting?

Jared got the job as Senior Adviser to the president based on his high qualifications of marrying Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, who is also on staff at the White House as an adviser based upon her qualifications of being Trump’s daughter and designing handbags.

You would think a guy serving as a senior adviser to the president would advise him on the facts, not feed his confirmation bias. Then again, Jared isn’t qualified for the job. He didn’t even qualify for his security clearance and needed Trump to overrule the FBI’s decision not to give him one.

Jared has been compromised by Russia and his financial ties to nations in the Middle East, such as Saudi Arabia. Upon receiving his security clearance, he proved he wasn’t qualified for it or had our nation’s interest at heart because he started conversating with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman through WhatsApp, hoping conversations would be deleted, and undetected by U.S. intelligence. What the hell are you and MBS talking about, Jared?  Many professionals in American intelligence are shocked at Jared’s attempts to skip protocol and security in talking to foreign officials.

After Saudi Arabia killed a Washington Post journalist by hacking him to death inside one of their embassies, Jared didn’t call it murder. He would only go so far as to call it a “tragedy,” as though the journalist slipped into the bone saw.

An author of a new book on Jared, Ivanka, and their special privilege says that Jared couldn’t get a “TSA pre-check” without Trump’s help.

The Trump administration is dangerous. Donald Trump has yet to publicly call for Russia not to interfere in our elections. Am I the only one to notice that? It’s been reported that former Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen was instructed not to mention Russian meddling to Trump as it would hurt his fragile ego. Thank God FDR’s advisers didn’t feel that way about Pearl Harbor.

Reading Jared’s description of Russian interference, it sounds like he’d rather soothe Trump’s insecurities than defend the United States. This is why they’re dangerous. They’re not protecting America. In fact, they are encouraging Russia to do it again. They’ve already made it clear there will be no consequences for their actions.

Being a trust-fund baby who marries a trust-fund baby who’s the daughter of a trust-fund baby doesn’t qualify one for the position of Senior Adviser to the president of the United States. Jared also doesn’t qualify for a security clearance, and the man who granted it, the president of the United States, doesn’t qualify for one either.

Congress shouldn’t stop at Trump’s tax returns. They should go after Jared’s too. Jared does not belong in Washington. Soon, just like Trump, he’ll belong in prison.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Mueller Time


cjones03272019

While talking to my producer at CNN on Thursday afternoon, we were discussing the best subjects for this Sunday’s cartoon. We both liked one particular issue and thought it had the most potential for humor while acknowledging the Mueller Report was hanging over our heads. I told her, “those fuckers will probably release it at 5:00 P.M. Friday afternoon and screw us up.”

Those fuckers released it at 5:00 P.M. Friday afternoon and screwed us up.

Actually, I don’t think they screwed us up and we’re going to stick with the cartoon I finished for them Friday, which I’m really happy with. But, I had just finished my last cartoon for the day, which was my third. On Fridays, I have to draw for CNN, The Costa Rica Star, and my syndication which is what you see here on the blog. By the time I was done yesterday evening, I just wanted to eat dinner and go to sleep…then Mueller happened.

I did eat. My friend Dallas and I went out and talked about it. As I was walking out the door, I got my first idea…and then my second. This is the second, though Dallas really liked my first. I felt this one summed up the moment best. Of course, this cartoon is dated and will probably be worthless in a couple of days…maybe.

Regarding what we know, the Trump team are celebrating because there are to be no more indictments. That sucks. I was really hoping to see them delivered to Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner, and perhaps even Ivanka and Hope Hicks. We know they lied and did their best to obstruct and collude with Russia. These are people who deserve to be charged for crimes.

I don’t know what’s in the Mueller Report yet but I do know there was collusion. What Mueller may not have been able to find is direct evidence that Trump was personally involved. But, the campaign hosted Russians at Trump Tower, had access to the stuff Wikileaks was stealing from the Clinton Campaign, and Donald Trump himself asked publicly for Russia to help him. We know that over a dozen people were in direct contact with Russia during the campaign.

We also know Trump obstructed justice. The guy told Lester Holt straight out that he fired Comey to end the investigation, then he told the same thing to…wait for it…RUSSIANS. Unfortunately, Mueller was never able to get Trump to testify verbally, and the written questions didn’t include any on obstruction. I feel no matter what’s in the report, we’re getting the shaft. We have a criminal in the White House, and while the Senate of sycophants would probably never convict him, I hate to see a corrupt president skate.

What I predict is that the Mueller report will NOT clear Trump, even if it doesn’t “indict” him. I don’t expect it to say there wasn’t any collusion or obstruction. I expect it to say they couldn’t gather all the facts…which is because of obstruction. Donald Trump and his cult will point at the report and claim it vindicates him, even though it won’t. But, these jerks have made those claims before, twisting statements from judges and politicians and at times, just making them up.

Mueller’s time may be over but our’s is just beginning. Whether Trump is impeached or voted out of office, he has to be removed from office. A stupid, racist, game show host kneedeep in corruption is in charge of our government and we can’t let this stand. I don’t care what the Mueller Report says, Donald Trump is more than just a bad president. He’s a danger and a national security risk. His move yesterday, recognizing the Golan Heights as a political favor proves that.

Mueller can retire in peace now, play golf, and sleep in. We gotta go to work.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Dr. Pimple Popper


cjones01062019

No. I did not pull this out of my butt. Doctor Pimple Popper is actually a thing. If you haven’t heard about it before, now you will.

Anytime something new enters the pop culture lexicon, political cartoonists think, “Can I use this for a cartoon”? It’s something I had to train my brain to do when I first started cartooning, and I’m still working on it. Sometimes, I have to see it three or four times before it occurs to me that it might be a cartoon. My brain can be slow. That was the case with Dr. Pimple Popper.

Doc Popper is pretty new for pop culture despite being around since 2010. I’m sure my use of it with this cartoon will make a few other cartoonists think, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Every cartoonist, including myself have done that. As for being the first to use this reference, it helps that most of my colleagues haven’t returned to their drawing tables yet after the holidays. Lazy bastards.

Instead of thinking about a cartoon the first time I saw a reference to Dr. Pimple Popper, I thought, “EW! I don’t want to see that.” When I was a teenager, I felt like God was punishing my face with acne. I really felt persecuted. My son got it even worse than I did, which made me feel guilty as hell. I have seen enough acne treatment to last two lifetimes, which is how long it does seem to last. So, I don’t need to see any television shows about popping pimples. I’m good.

But, guess what. There’s a TV show about popping pimples. Right when I’m wondering how many seasons The Walking Dead can get out of killing zombies; Dr. Pimple Popper has been renewed for a second season. But, hey. If Honey Boo Boo can get fives seasons, why can’t pimples get two?

Dr. Sandra Lee is Dr. Pimple Popper. She started uploading videos to YouTube of popping pimples in 2010. From that, she got her own TV show. Meanwhile, my YouTube channel of these cartoons being drawn and my witty commentary only has 254 subscribers after nearly a year. Pimples are more popular than my cartoons.

Dr. Lee’s show started on TLC (which I’m sure stands for something) back in July. The second season starts later this month. Last month, it had its own Christmas special. IT HAD ITS OWN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! What did they call it, “Its a zitty Christmas, Charlie Brown?”

Our nation is experiencing a breakout of stupidity and just really bad taste. People are famous for being famous. It shouldn’t surprise me that we’re watching reality shows about popping pimples when our president was a reality show celebrity endorsed by Duck Dynasty reality celebrities. Are we living in a Simpson’s episode? When you think about it, it’s shocking there isn’t a Kardashian in the United States Senate.

Hopefully, Robert Mueller pops that one great big, giant, racist zit that’s revealed the ugliness of our nation, but I’m not sure anything can save us from the rest of the outbreak that is Trump sycophants.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.