Bye, Fly

I’d say Mike Pence’s supporters dropped off like flies, except he never his campaign never had many supporters. Did the guy ever poll higher than two percentage points? He probably attracted more flies than supporters.

Pence was talking to groups of potential voters in pizza parlors and drug stores, usually in groups of less than a dozen. Most of these people didn’t plan to go to a Mike Pence “rally” and were just unfortunate enough to pick up their prescriptions at the wrong time. Running into Mike Pence will counteract your boner pills. There should be a national Mike Pence alert warning you when he’s in your town and where you’re in danger of bumping into him. I nearly accidentally bumped into Donald Trump when I was in Miami.

Mike Pence has dropped out of the 2024 presidential race stating that it’s just not his time. What kind of horrifying catastrophe would have to happen for this nation to be in a situation where it is Mike Pence’s time? Maybe down the road, we’ll want to be seriously bored while turning our nation into a giant homophobic theocracy.

The other thing to take note of is that being Donald Trump’s number-one ass-kisser didn’t pay off. If you’re still out there today kissing Trump’s ass like a Laura Loomer or the entire Republican caucus in the House, just look at Mike Pence. Just the simple act of choosing the Constitution over Donald Trump earned him “Hang Mike Pence” chants despite four years of having his lips firmly planted on Trump’s orange ass. Fortunately for most MAGAts, they’ll never be in danger of experiencing the Mike Pence Experience because they’ll never choose the Constitution over Donald Trump.

Usually, serving as vice president gets support from your boss for your own presidential campaign in the future, as it did for Richard Nixon, Walter Mondale, George H. W. Bush, Al Gore, and Joe Biden. In Pence’s case, he got “Hang Mike Pence” and accused of being disloyal and of being a traitor.

Pence Fly is more loyal to Mike Pence than Donald Trump ever was. And I have to say, I’m going to miss drawing Pence Fly.

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