Pence Fly

Subpoena Fly

Former vice president (sic) and never-gonna-be-president (yay) Mike Pence got a subpoena from Special Counsel Jack Smith and in typical Mike Pence worm-like behavior, he’s trying to worm out of it.

First off, have you seen a photo of Jack Smith? I’ve never heard the guy talk but just from his photo, he looks like a take-no-bullshit kinda dude. He kinda looks like actor/director Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Cowboys and Aliens, Mandalorian, Elf). I hope it’s true he doesn’t take any bullshit because that’s exactly what Mike Pence and his lawyers are trying to give him.

Smith is investigating Donald Trump’s attempt to steal the election, his role in the Jan 6 white nationalist terrorist attack on the Capitol, and his theft of classified documents. Pence is at least a witness to the attempted theft of the election and coup attempt.

A lot of people praise Mike Pence for doing the right thing on January 6, 2021, and that was certifying the electoral college, which was his duty. Quite frankly, he’s being praised for not breaking the law. For his service, he got Trumpers with nooses after him. But his patriotism stopped there as he is refusing to cooperate with an investigation looking into an attempt to destroy our democracy.

What happened to being a member of the Law and Order Party? What happened to being constitutionalists? What happened to their love of democracy? What happened to Mike Pence’s patriotism?

A true patriot would want to cooperate with an investigation of an attempt to destroy our democracy. Mike Pence is no patriot. He’s a worm. He’s a goon.

Pence’s argument that he can’t cooperate is that he was acting as President of the Senate and is protected under the “speech or debate” clause of the Constitution. The clause he’s placing all his chips in says that “for any Speech or Debate in either House,” senators and representatives, “shall not be questioned in any other Place.”

Well here’s an idea. Why don’t you testify in the chamber of the Senate? Problem solved.

But he’s not actually protected by this because when Donald Trump asked him face to face to deny the certification, they were in the Oval Office and the last time I checked, the Oval Office is in the White House, NOT the United States Capitol building. Pence is a member of the executive branch, not the legislative. He is NOT a senator.

Other than certifying the electoral college, a vice president’s only job in the Senate is to cast tie-breaking votes. They do not engage in debates or speeches in the Senate. They don’t sit on committees.

Pence told reporters, “My fight is on the separation of powers. My fight against the DOJ subpoena, very simply, is on defending the prerogatives I had as president of the Senate to preside over the Joint Session of Congress on January 6.” I’m sure Jack Smith also has a lot of questions about the days leading up to January 6.

Even if Pence’s argument is legitimate, then it only applies for when he was physically in the Senate chamber on January 6. Was he acting as president of the Senate when Trump asked him to break the law? Was he acting as president of the Senate when he was running for his life from a noose-carrying mob chanting, “Hang Mike Pence?”

As Sarah Marshall said in the incredible film “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

This stance takes gall, especially since his argument for refusing to testify before the House committee investigating the insurrection is that he’s a member of the executive branch. He said it would set “a terrible precedent for the Congress to summon a vice president of the United States to speak about deliberations that took place at the White House.”

So basically he can’t testify before the Special Counsel about stuff that happened in Congress, and he can’t testify to Congress about stuff that happened in the White House. I told you he’s a worm.

The biggest problem for Pence and his lawyers when they take this argument to court is that the clause they’re relying on only mentions “senators” and “representatives.” Mike Pence was neither at the time in question. He better hope he gets a sycophantic Trumper judge which he may as he plans to argue this all the way to the Supreme Court.

It would be a lot easier and quicker if he’d cooperate and testify. But the real reason Mike Pence is refusing to testify is that he doesn’t want to piss off the MAGA base while he runs against that base’s cult leader.

Every presidential candidate is going to straddle the line of running against Donald Trump while trying to appeal to his base. I don’t see that working. And that base has already made nooses and chanted, “Hang Mike Pence.” The MAGA base literally tried to murder Mike Pence. Now, the thinks he can win their votes.

Pence is praised for putting the nation before political power on January 6, but now he’s putting political ambition before the country.

I think even the Pence Fly can see the flaws in Pence’s argument.

Music note: I listened to Collective Soul.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Pence and the FB-Fly

For only the second time in his life, Mike Pence committed a noble act and called on his Republican Party to stop attacking the FBI. But I think Mike Pence forgets this is the same party that called for his hanging after he committed the first noble act of his life.

When Mike Pence refused to help Trump overturn the election he lost, his white nationalist terrorists ran through the Capitol chanting, “Hang Mike Pence.” This was after Trump tweeted an attack on Pence and goaded this MAGA mob to go after him. The terrorists came within 40 feet of Mike Pence and his family. Donald Trump has never apologized for this or accepted responsibility.

Now, Donald Trump is goading his MAGA terrorists to attack the FBI, and elected Republicans and other assorted goons, like the ones on Fox News, are helping him. Donald Trump has not done what Pence did and sent out a message that Attorney General Merrick Garland, the Justice Department, and the FBI can be held accountable without being threatened physically.

Now, what’s this business of Republicans screaming and soiling themselves over everyone being held accountable except for Donald Trump?

Sure, the Justice Department will be held accountable, for better or worse, when the time comes. But, Merrick Garland doesn’t have to cave to GOP and MAGAt demands that he explain everything and show all his cards before any prosecutions begin. Sure, it’s unprecedented for the FBI to get a search warrant for a former president’s (sic) home, but it’s also unprecedented for a former president (sic) to be a crook who takes home classified information that threatens national security. Even Richard Nixon didn’t do that shit.

So, in the spirit of accountability, let’s ask Donald Trump a few questions. Tiny has some ‘splaining to do but he’d rather keep assailing the FBI.

Why did Donald Trump take classified information to his golf resort in Florida after he left the White House?

Why didn’t Donald Trump return all of it when the National Archives retrieved 15 boxes?

Why did Donald Trump’s lawyers lie and say it was all returned when it wasn’t?

Why wouldn’t Donald Trump just return the stuff instead of forcing DOJ to get a warrant?

Why does Donald Trump believe he owns this stuff?

What was Donald Trump’s intention for this material?

Was any of it actually declassified?

Why hasn’t Donald Trump called his goons off from attacking the FBI, even after an attack on the FBI office in Cincinnati?

And why hasn’t Donald Trump explained any of this yet?

It was very noble of Mike Pence to tell the goons to stop attacking the FBI and that “calls to defund the F.B.I. are just as wrong as calls to defund the police,” which is what Marjorie Taylor Greene has done. But, Pence went back to his old role which is lying. He said the Republican Party is the party of law and order.

I think the FBI, Department of Justice, and the Capitol Police would disagree. The leader of the Law-and-Order Party is a thief who tried to destroy democracy through a violent coup attempt.

Music note: I listened to the Kinks.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Pence Fly

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If you heard a little tiny high pitched voice during last night’s debate saying, “Help me,” it wasn’t the fly. It was Republican senators going down with this administration. Thom Tillis, Lindsey Graham, Joni Ernst, and Martha McSally, who was never elected in the first place, are all buzzing around Mike Pence’s head saying, “Help me.”

I paid close attention to the debate last night. Kamala Harris was expected to prosecute the Trump administration. Mike Pence was expected to deflect, lie, and be condescending and wormy. And though I tried to pay attention, I lost all focus for two plus minutes of the debate. Why was I distracted for over two minutes? Because that’s how long a fly was attached to Mike Pence’s white head.

I was mesmerized. When is the fly going to fly away? Will it leave? Is it stuck to whatever component Pence uses to fossilize his hair? What the fuck is going on with the fly and Mike Pence’s hair! AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH! FLY!!!!

Finally it left, but before it did, it had its own Twitter account. The internet lit up over the fly. If you run outside right now and ask someone for their first impression of last night’s debate, they’ll mention the fly. My readers on Facebook were demanding I draw a fly cartoon. At first, I thought, “Nah. This is an internet thing and that doesn’t always translate to the rest of the world….holy shit. Everybody’s talking about it.”

As soon as the debate was over, on MSNBC, Rachel Maddow, Joy Reid, and Nicole Wallace talked about the fly. When Brian Williams came in, he talked about the fly. On CNN, Anderson Cooper, Chris Cuomo, and Don Lemon were talking about the fly. Over on Fox News, they were talking about the best pumpkin spice recipes for a brisk Autumn afternoon.

Before going to bed around 1:00 A.M, I knew I had to draw a fly cartoon. It’s funny that before the debate, I was wondering what would come out of it for me to draw. I never expected it to be a fly on a Trump goon’s head.

As they say, flies are attracted to shit. And whenever you defend Donald Trump and the “accomplishments” of his administration, you’re talking shit.

And just as he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignored reality. Mike Pence told Senator Harris, “you’re entitled to your own opinions but you’re not entitled to your own facts.” He said this twice ignoring the FACT he is the main butt poodle for a man who has told over 20,000 lies.

Just like he tried to pretend the fly wasn’t there, Mike Pence, the evangelical, pretends he’s not goon number one for Mr. Grab Them By The Pussy.

Just as he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignores the fact the Trump administration throws children into baby cages.

Just like he paid no attention to the fly, Mike Pence pays no attention to the fact over 210,000 people have died from the coronavirus.

As he ignored the fly, Mike Pence, head of the Coronavirus Task Force, ignores safety protocols. The woman he sleeps with whom he calls “Mother,” ignored safety protocols and the debate rules last night by coming onto the stage without a face mask.

Just like he ignored the fly, Mike Pence ignored the rules of the debate, talking over his time limit, talking over the moderator, Susan Page, and talking over his opponent, Senator Kamala Harris.

Just like he ignored the fly, he ignored all respect toward Senator Harris and Ms. Page. He ignored respect for the American people, using them as if criticizing the Trump administration’s failure over containing the Trump Virus is somehow attacking the American public.

Fortunately for Mike Pence, Senator Harris and Ms. Page also ignored the fly on his white head. They also ignored the cold sore around his mouth. Herpes much? Mother should have kept her mask on. They ignored the pink eye. Mother should have worn goggles. Quite frankly, someone should have taken his pulse. The guy looked like death and flies were literally landing on him. Can zombies speak other than saying, “Brains”? Except for this zombie, he ain’t got any.

A CNN poll said Kamala Harris won the debate, 69% to Pence’s 39%. Personally, I think the fly came in second. The worm came in a distant third.

Mike Pence is a coward. Mike Pence is a worm. And just like all members, supporters, and cultists of this administration, he’s full of shit. And that’s why flies are attracted to him.

Bzzzzz.

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