When E. Jean Carroll’s allegation that Donald Trump raped her in a department store dressing room in the mid-1990s first emerged, his first defense was that she wasn’t his type.

Trump told a news outlet in 2019, “I’ll say it with great respect: Number one, she’s not my type. Number two, it never happened.” It seems like “it never happened” should be number one.

Days before Trump was to testify in a deposition in Carroll’s lawsuit against him for defamation, he posted on his shitstorm of a social media site, “this woman is not my type,” and he wrote that statement was “a great statement.” Then came the deposition….which turned out to be a great deposition…for the other side.

During the deposition, Carroll’s lawyers handed Trump a black-and-white photograph showing Trump at a social event at some point generally contemporaneous to the time of the alleged rape. Naturally, Trump identified himself because he loves photos of himself, identified one man as former television anchor John Johnson, and then he pointed at a woman on the left of the photo and said, “That’s Marla.” He was referring to his second wife who he cheated with while married to his first wife and is the mother of his fourth kid, Tiffany, Marla Maples.

Carroll’s lawyers paused, probably relishing the moment because it was just tooooooooo good, and then asked Trump, “You’re saying Marla is in this photo?” The attorney asked question successfully without snickering.

Trump said, “That’s Marla, yeah. That’s my wife.” It’s his ex-wife, but we’ll give him that. Ivana, his first wife was actually in the photo, but Trump wasn’t pointing at her.

That’s when one of Trump’s attorneys, Alina Habba, jumped in like she was spoiling a joke, and said, “Nooooooooo, that’s Carroll.” This is another reason why Donald Trump has problems hiring good lawyers. He’s the worst client EVER.

Later in the deposition, Carroll’s attorneys asked him whether “the three women you’ve married were all your type.” Trump said they were, you know, just like his daughter, Ivanka, who he once said he’d be dating if she wasn’t his daughter.

Trump later said the photo was too blurry for him to differentiate between his second wife, who is his type, and E. Jean Carroll, who he claims is not his type. But, the photo wasn’t too blurry for his lawyer. Trump does require glasses which he never wears, but at the very least, a blurry E. Jean Carroll is Trump’s type.

Using Trump’s argument that someone is not his type as a defense against a rape accusation is ridiculously stupid. It’s like saying if she was his type, then he may have raped her. Perhaps Carroll’s lawyers should have asked Trump how many women of his type he has raped.

But using Trump’s own insane defense, it’s perfectly logical that he raped E. Jean Carroll because…wait for it…she is his type.

Creative note: I’m in Portsmouth, Virginia.

As I was finishing my CNN cartoon late yesterday afternoon (Friday), my friend Christian called me, told me he was coming through town, and asked to have dinner. I had plans but I shoved them aside because the last time he asked me to dinner, I couldn’t do it. During dinner, his wife Patty called and said I should come down to Portsmouth with Christian since they’re having a coronation party and I’ve been promising to visit for over a decade and haven’t done it yet. Why a coronation party? They just got back from a long English vacation and I think they’re still horny for England, and I probably would be too. So here I am. In Portsmouth.

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