Sexual Assault

Governor Duct Tape


Cjones08052021

As a former gigging musician, I can truly appreciate the importance of duct tape. A guitar player will have guitar strings, pedals, straps, cables, picks, set lists, and other assorted musician goodies in his gig bag, but one of the more important essentials is duct tape. What’s the specific use of duct tape at a show for a rock band? There isn’t one but you never know what’s going to come up. Mostly though, you use it to tape cables to the floor so people don’t trip over them, including band members. I once did a show without a stage (did a LOT of those) and we were placed in front of the bathroom. People were walking between me and the bass player while we were playing. Duct tape was very important that night.

The company Johnson & Johnson invented duct tape for the military to use during World War II. They needed something waterproof to keep moisture out of ammunition cases. Duct tape literally helped us beat fascism. Too bad it was never used to strap down fascist Trump. But maybe we can use it on other gropey elected officials…even those who are not fascists and are actually pretty good at their jobs. Hey, it worked on an unruly airline passenger.

Things have been intense in the air lately. A lot of people flying have been really upset over airline mask mandates and causing a scene. They’ve even been getting violent with flight attendants. In fact, airlines are now offering martial arts classes to their flight attendants. And people know about the mask mandates before they get on the planes.

Last year, I had to wear a mask on a flight from Washington to Houston to Memphis, and then back from Memphis to Chicago to Washington. Last June, I had to wear a face mask on a train all the way from Fredericksburg to New York City and back. While in the city, I had to wear it each time I got on the subway and even in the stations. Wearing a face mask all that time sucked, but it’s not really a big deal. It didn’t make me take swings at people or scream like an overgrown crybaby.

The Federal Aviation Administration reported 3,271 cases of unruly behavior by passengers in the first half of 2021, including 2,475 instances where passengers refused to comply with the federal face mask mandate. Surprised? No, we are not. We know MAGAts are entitled assholes.

Some airlines have suspended selling alcohol on flights. One flight attendant had two of her teeth knocked out by a passenger.

On a Frontier Airlines flight from Philadelphia to Miami last Saturday, flight attendants had to literally strap a passenger to his seat with duct tape. Going from Philly to Miami, they should have known this wasn’t going to end well. Philadelphia is a city that booed Santa Claus and Miami….well, Miami is in Florida.

Maxwell (why does that make me think about a silver hammer?) Wilkinson Berry, a seriously entitled 22-year old, was caught on video screaming about how entitled he is. He was screaming that his grandfather is an attorney and hollered, “My parents are worth more than fucking two million goddamn dollars!” Not just any dollars…but “goddamn” dollars. Those are the more serious dollars only given to entitled families, like MWB’s family (I’m assuming his trust-fund baby friends call him “MWB”).

So anyway, this spoiled asshole got his stupid ass duct taped to his seat and his fellow passengers started started cheering and laughing at him.

Before he got duct taped, Barry took a swing at a flight attendant. He also groped a couple and grabbed some boobs. At one point, he took his shirt off so everyone could see his entitled pecs. The video of him being an entitled asshole has been viewed on Twitter nearly ten million times….I’m sorry…nearly ten million goddamn times. Barry is so entitled, instead of apologizing, he tweeted his outrage at being “dehumanized” on the flight and on Twitter.

The entitled asshole tweeted, “This will forever be the most dehumanizing experience in my entire life. Many people laughed and ridiculed me as I was mistreated by staff of a PROFESSIONAL airline. Just to make matters worth this has gone “viral” on the internet and will never disappear. My life will never be…”

I think he was still drinking while he sent that tweet. So, everybody stop making fun of Baby Barry. He’s getting upset.

Barry has been charged with three misdemeanor counts of battery, but maybe he truly is entitled because the flight crew has been suspended with pay pending an investigation. How dare they strap a rich white boy to his seat with duct tape…even though he was throwing punches and groping. That is some serious white privilege. Next time, strap his ass to one of the wings.

Another investigation of an entitled rich person says New York governor Andrew Cuomo is a Gropey McCroperson. Cuomo’s defense was, “I’m a gropey person. I grope everybody, women, men, children, white people, black people, Asians, puppies…I’ll grope you right now. C’mere….don’t you run from me.”

New York is a Democratic state and the Democratic Party may impeach their Democratic governor. The findings of the investigation were announced by the state’s Democratic attorney general. The nation’s Democratic president has called for Cuomo to resign. While Democrats will remove a fellow Democrat for sexual assault, Republicans would say of their own, “He says he didn’t do it.”

Charlotte Bennett, a former state employee and one of Cuomo’s victims, said, “It wasn’t an apology and he didn’t take accountability for his actions. He blamed me and said that I simply misinterpreted what he had said.” Yeah…I hate when people misinterpret when I grab them by the ass.

The state assembly session starts next month (in case you’re a Republican, that’s September), but Bennet says that’s not soon enough and they need to remove Cuomo now. I don’t live in New York so I’m not totally aware of how their system works, but in most states, a legislature can’t call itself into a special session. Only a governor can do that. And in case you weren’t paying attention (Republicans), the governor of New York is Andrew Cuomo. Good luck removing him before September.

The investigation concluded he had sexually harassed at least 11 women and violated state and federal law in the process. The speaker of the state assembly said Cuomo “has lost the confidence of the Assembly Democratic majority and that he can no longer remain in office.”

Part of Cuomo’s defense was showing multiple photos of him touching the faces of many people, with one of them being the president of the United States (the actual president, Republicans). When asked about this touchy-feely incident, President Biden said, “Look, I’m not going to flyspeck this. I am sure there were some embraces that were totally innocent, but apparently the attorney general decided there were things that weren’t.” Biden is old. What the hell is “flyspeck?” When asked about the president’s comments, Cuomo said, “I’ll grope that flyspeck.”

White House Spokesperson Jen Psaki said, “I don’t know that anyone could have watched this morning and not found the allegations to be abhorrent. I know I certainly did.” When asked about Psaki’s comments, Cuomo said, “Mmmmmmm.”

I’ve always liked Cuomo. I appreciated how straightforward and direct he was during the pandemic. He was the best source of information at the time about the virus while the president (sic…and the former fake one) of the United States was playing it down, telling us to use malaria medication and to shoot disinfectant up our asses. I always thought Cuomo was on the right side politically and would be a future president. Not anymore. He needs to resign…and if you can’t remove him from office until September…

…maybe strap him down with duct tape.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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FBI Complicity


Cjones07212021

People, stupid ones…mostly stupid men, always ask why women don’t report sexual abuse more often. The reason they don’t isn’t because they fear they won’t be believed. The reason is because they probably won’t be believed. Let’s take the case of Larry Nassar.

Larry Nassar was a doctor for U.S.A. Gymnastics and a professor at Michigan State University. Under the guise of medical treatment, Nassar abused his patients. He has admitted to only ten when the number may be as high as 332. More than 150 federal and state lawsuits have since been filed against Nassar, Michigan State University, the US Olympic Committee, USA Gymnastics, and the Twistars Gymnastics Club.

Rachael Denhollander, a lawyer and former gymnast, was the first to publicly accuse Nassar of sexual assault. She assumed Nassar was abusing other women because he had worked with the national team for four years before abusing her, and she knew how abusers worked. She said, “When I came forward, I fully expected multiple levels of botched investigations and cover-ups because that’s what survivors are up against.” She was right.

There is a new report by the Justice Department’s Inspector General that says for a year after being alerted to Nassar’s abuse, the FBI ignored it.

Denhollander said, “This is what survivors are up against. And they constantly get asked the question, ‘Why don’t survivors report?’ This is why.”

The report, citing civil court documents, said 70 or more young athletes had been sexually abused by Nassar between July 2015, when U.S.A. Gymnastics first reported allegations against Nassar to the FBI’s Indianapolis field office, and August 2016, when the Michigan State University Police Department received a separate complaint. One of the victims during the time the FBI sat on the report was eight years old. The makes the FBI complicit with Nassar’s sexual assaults.

Nassar is sitting in prison after combined sentences to over 140 years. He shouldn’t be the only one sitting in prison on this case.

Did you know it’s a crime to lie to the FBI? But maybe it’s not a crime for the FBI to lie to the FBI.

The IG report says officials in the Indianapolis field office failed to respond to the allegations “with the utmost seriousness and urgency that they deserved and required” and the investigation did not proceed until after a September 2016 report by The Indianapolis Star detailed Nassar’s abuse. So, what was going on for a year? Why did the FBI only start taking it seriously after the public was informed? If a newspaper had never investigated the accusations of sexual assault at USA Gymnastics and Michigan State University, would the FBI had ever investigated it?

W. Jay Abbott, the special agent in charge of the Indianapolis field office, was inquiring about job openings at…wait for it…the U.S. Olympic Committee, even while questioning them about the the case, he was asking about jobs with the Olympic organization. He even applied for one. USA Gymnastics was complicit and covering up the sexual assaults, and the guy in charge of the investigation was asking them for a job.

When asked about this by his superiors, Abbott lied. He also lied repeatedly to the Inspector General when asked about the investigation.

Nassar spoke with the president and chief executive of USA Gymnastics about potential job opportunities with U.S.O.C , even as the two discussed the allegations against Nassar. Abbott later applied for a job at the U.S.O.C., but twice lied to the inspector general about seeking that job.

Since he lied and violated FBI policy by applying for jobs with people he was questioning during an investigation, surely Abbott was charged, right? Wrong. Once again, men are protecting men who were protecting men.

Abbott’s lawyer issued a statement saying, “Mr. Abbott thanks the law enforcement officers and prosecutors who brought Larry Nassar to justice. Mr. Abbott hopes the courageous victims of Nassar’s horrible crime find peace.” What bullshit. If Abbott hadn’t been busted covering up the assaults and sitting on the investigation, then Nassar would never have been prosecuted. Nobody would have found any peace. Abbott thanking law enforcement and prosecutors for sending Nassar to prison is like Dr. Frankenstein thanking the pitchfork and torch-wielding angry villagers for killing his monster. It’d be like Donald Trump thanking human rights activists for reuniting families he separated at the border.

W. Jay Abbott is complicit with the rape of women and girls by Larry Nassar. While he was sitting on a case and asking about jobs so he could take them while receiving his FBI pension, Nassar was continuing to rape and assault, possibly over 100 girls and women, including an eight year old. Abbott should be charged and have his pension stripped from him. Maybe that will help the victims find the peace Abbott is hoping for them. Abbott couldn’t be more complicit if was physically holding the women down while Nassar sexually assaulted them.

The FBI sat on the Nassar case and they’re doing it again by refusing to charge and prosecute Abbott. There will be a Senate investigation over this and one of the questions will be, “Why isn’t anyone at the FBI being prosecuted for this?”

The reason there’s a need for the #MeToo movement, “We Believe You,” and the Pussyhat Project is because so many people refuse to even listen to victims, less enough believe them. And it’s because of men like Jay Abbott in powerful positions protecting rapists like Lawrence Nassar in powerful positions that women don’t report assaults more often.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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#YoTambien Movimiento


crsta02082019

This cartoon was first published February 8, 2019, in The Costa Rica Star.

Former two-time Costa Rica president and Nobel Prize winner, Oscar Arias was accused of sexual assault, then accused again, and again, and again, etc. So far, nine women have accused him of charges ranging from harassment, to assault, to rape. Time Magazine has even done a feature on the story.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Partisan Groping


cjones02142019

As if it wasn’t bad enough for Virginia and the state Democrats with two of the top three elected officials revealed to have worn “blackface” in the past, the other one of the three has been accused of sexual assault and now rape.

Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax was a rock star until a few days ago. On the day it was revealed by a right-wing website that Governor Ralph Northam had worn blackface while in medical school, Democrats were looking at Fairfax as though he was their savior. He’s young, talented, and would be the state’s second black governor after Douglas Wilder. If Fairfax took over Northam’s governorship, he’d be able to succeed himself in a state that only allows one term for governors. Democrats were tweeting and hashtagging “ImWithJustinFairfax.”

And then it all went away, thanks to the same website that exposed the blackface governor. Fairfax has been accused of sexual assault. The accusation is that he forced a woman to perform oral sex on him during the 2004 Democratic Convention in Boston. Fairfax claimed there was no corroboration to the story and that The Washington Post had even refused to publish it due to lack of support. Then, a second woman came forward and accused Fairfax of raping her when they both attended Duke University in 2000.

The second woman does have corroboration, and as it turns out, so does the first.

Republicans are jumping all over this, not so much as a call for justice and for what is right, but more as a partisan tool. They’re calling on Democrats to accept the women’s stories since in the past, Democrats have done the same for Republicans’ accusers (and there’s a lot of those). I had one conservative nitwit attack me last week on social media, accusing me of being a racist for not supporting Fairfax’s first accuser, ignoring the fact I wasn’t disregarding her allegations and that the alleged victim and perpetrator are both black.

Here’s the thing though; Democrats are buying these allegations. state and national Democrats are calling for Fairfax to resign. Even Fairfax has called for an investigation, which is something Brett Kavanaugh refused to do. Republicans only called for an investigation after they were pressured by just one of their colleagues, and only gave the FBI a week to work with…and even then, all but one Senate Republican voted to give a lifetime appointment to Kavanaugh, even the Senator who requested the investigation.

When multiple women accused Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore of pedophilia, he stayed on the ballot. Most Republicans continued to defend him. Donald Trump defended him with, “well he said he didn’t do it.” Roy Moore barely lost the election. Al Franken resigned from the Senate for pretending to grope a woman. PRETENDING!

The two women who have accused Fairfax are credible. They definitely should be heard and the charges should be investigated. I don’t think they’re lying. I also don’t believe that each of the 22 women who have accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct, ranging from assault, to harassment, to rape, are lying either.

If you believe two women accusing a Democrat, then wouldn’t you have to believe 22 who are accusing a Republican? How about believing the 22 after the Republican admits it?

Maybe Donald Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” and “they let you do it when you’re famous” was just locker room talk. We’re all familiar with how adolescent boys boast about their sex lives, and we all know the president of the United States is an adolescent. He’s also boasted about barging in on teenage girls undressing who were competing in his pedo beauty pageants. He likes them young. You haven’t heard him talk about his daughter’s body since she turned 37.

With Trump’s own admission and there being accusers, it’s hard to say that each of the 22 women are lying. One of them is an ex wife.

Justin Fairfax needs to resign. I believe the two women. Democrats are right in calling for his resignation. If you’re a Republican, you have no right to call for his resignation unless you’re also calling for Trump’s. You’re not doing that though, so shut up.

The #MeToo movement is not partisan. You’re not really getting it if you believe all Democratic accusers but say it’s OK when a Republican does it.

Frank

I get a lot of compliments on the blog. Some people tell me they like them better than the cartoons, which isn’t what I’m going for, but OK. While this production receives praise, a lot of credit should go to Frank.

Frank, who is based in California, has been proofing the columns for a couple of years, I think. I lose track of time. It takes a lot of work to help make me look good. Frank starts each column by receiving a notficiation in email, AFTER it’s been published. Then, he uses a couple of different programs (maybe more) to weed through it. He sends the suggestions on changes to me, some I make and others I ignore. The process takes a lot of time and Frank puts a lot of focus and professionalism into the work. If he ran an errand before the blog was published, he’d email and tell me he’d be away for a while. He’s really good at changing my “weres” into “was” and “who is” into “whose.” Frank never tried to rewrite the columns or inject his own personal bias into the changes. He never made a demand.

Frank did all of this on a volunteer basis. He started by pointing out corrections in the comments and would tell me to delete the comment after I saw it, then offered to email if he saw anything. Eventually, he offered to go through each and every blog as they were published. It all came about naturally and it wasn’t awkward at all or imposing (there was an editor in the past, where it was very imposing and kinda got stalkery). Frank was very generous to do this and a total breath of fresh air. I was very comfortable working with him.

I knew Frank wouldn’t do it forever because at some point he’d have to get tired of it, or eventually realize he has better things to do with his time than clean up after a sloppy cartoonist in Virginia. He is an older gentleman and retired. Frank decided that yesterday was as good of a time as any to call it quits, and has retired from being my copy editor. I totally understand and I can’t blame him. He has totally earned a break from this goofiness. Since Frank did this on a volunteer basis, I wanted him to leave when he made that decision. I never wanted this to be a burden for him, though at times I am sure it was.

Frank has become a friend over the past couple of years. We share jokes and recommened movies on Amazon Prime. He’s been very supportive and encouraging to what I do. On most days, I don’t even reply to his emails about changes. I just make the changes. He hasn’t received enough credit and appreciation for everything he’s given to me…and to you.

I’m very grateful and fortunate to have had Frank’s services and friendship for as long as I did. Thank you, Frank. I wish you the best of luck and happiness in all your endeavors. I hope you enjoy life. I’m sure you will be in touch. Try not to grimace too much in the future as you read the blog.

That last part was for Frank and you, dear reader.

Thank you, Frank, for catching all the goobs.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

The #SoWhat Movement


cjones09222018

It really shouldn’t surprise anyone that Republicans are defending Brett Kavanaugh, Trump’s Supreme Court nominee who is accused of sexual assault and attempted rape. They’ve already defended Nazis.

Donald Trump says “Judge Kavanaugh is one of the finest people he’s ever known,” but Trump has known people like Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen, Stephen Miller, Roy Cohn, Rodrigo Duterte, Recep Erdogan, Vladimir Putin, and Kim Jong Un.

Kavanaugh is accused of sexually assaulting and trying to rape Christine Blasey Ford, a research psychologist in Northern California, at a social gather in the 1980s when they were both teenagers. She claims Kavanaugh was holding her down and trying to get her clothes off, covering her mouth, so she couldn’t scream, while one of his friends watched. Kavanaugh claims he didn’t do it, and then claimed he wasn’t even at the party. Ford says she was afraid Kavanaugh would inadvertently kill her.

The friend that Ford says witnessed the incident claims it didn’t happen, but he’s also written a book titled, “Wasted: Tales of a GenX Drunk.” Kavanaugh’s witness is a guy who has boasted about binge drinking until he blacked out.

One of Kavanaugh’s defenses is a list produced by Republicans of 65 women, who knew the nominee during high school, who say Kavanaugh never sexually assaulted them. Seriously. There are a few weird things about this list. One is, it was revealed shortly after Senator Dianne Feinstein revealed the letter detailing the accusation against him. While Feinstein has been criticized for holding back on the letter, there’s speculation that Republicans were also aware of the accusation and had the list ready just in case.

Another problem with the letter is how did Kavanaugh even know 65 women during his high schooldays since he went to an all-boys Catholic school? Granted, I wasn’t the most popular kid in high school, but it was public and I didn’t know 65 girls. In fact, I still don’t know 65 women. Out of those 65 women vouching for the judge, only two will actually go on the record and publicly defend him.

Also, while it’s good there are 65 girls he didn’t assault, even Jeffrey Dahmer could have produced a list of people he’s known that he didn’t eat.

When asked Monday if he may withdraw Kavanaugh’s nomination, Trump said, “what a ridiculous question.” He also said he hasn’t spoken to Kavanaugh since the accusations came out, despite the nominee spending nine hours at the White House Monday (maybe it was for the famous meatloaf). But, we don’t know what will come from the hearings next week. Kavanaugh may come off so poorly that they have no choice but to pull his nomination. Seeing that Trump has wilted on “always deny, deny, deny” and says he’s OK with waiting for the confirmation, and he’s known to throw people under the bus quickly, it may not be a “ridiculous” question.

Republicans, who believed all the accusations against Harvey Weinstein and wanted Al Franken tossed from the Senate for pretending to grope a woman, don’t believe Kavanaugh’s accuser. Senator Orrin Hatch, who is on the Judiciary Committee, says the woman is mistaken and may be “all mixed up.” Hatch was also on the committee in 1991 for Clarence Thomas’ nomination to the Supreme Court, where he defended him against sexually harassing Anita Hill, called her a liar, and later said she owed Thomas an apology.

Republicans also argue that if it did happen, then it was so long ago and while he was a teenager, so it shouldn’t be important now. Would you want to hire a guy suspected of being a rapist while he was in high school thirty years ago? Would you want him setting legal policy? Would you want to give him a lifetime appointment?

Just like in 1991, Republicans are not going to come out of the hearing smelling like roses. Their questioning of Ford next week will likely contribute to the women vote and the blue wave coming in November.

The one thing we definitely will not receive from next week’s hearings is proof. Each of us will believe one or the other. Do I believe her at this point? I do. She’s passed a polygraph, had mentioned it years ago before Kavanaugh was nominated for the Supreme Court, and it wouldn’t make sense for an intelligent person to subject herself to the lifetime of bullying and harassment she’s about to be the beneficiary of from Republicans. Who in the right minds would look at what they did to Anita Hill and say, “I want some of that?”

And, since Brett Kavanaugh is already on the record as a liar, I don’t believe him.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Trump’s Twelve A Day


cjones12142017

The New York Times published an article about Trump’s “battle for self-preservation.” It includes some details on his diet of Big Macs, KFC, diet Cokes, and cable TV news.

Most doctors, but probably not Trump’s, will tell you that this is not a recommended diet for an old geezer. The article says Trump watches eight hours of TV a day. Even eight minutes of Fox And Friends is hazardous to one’s health. It’s his consumption of Diet Coke that will make a person go “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?,” or at least make you pronounce United States as “United Thates.”

Full disclaimer: I probably watch more cable news than Trump, and like the prez, it can rile me up too. In my defense, I watch actual news and not that propaganda state-run propaganda shit Fox passes off as news. I consume too much caffeine too but I’m not in Trump’s league. Maybe three tall cups of coffee and two Cokes a day. I do try to drink two or three bottles of water a day, which I know isn’t enough.

But, twelve sodas? Twelve must be a frequent number for Trump because that’s the same number of women who publicly accused him of sexual assault. The number is much higher if we include those who won’t reveal their names.

Some of Trump’s accusers held a press conference yesterday trying to return the focus back to his transgressions. In this climate where members of the House and Senate have to resign for far less, we should look back on the horrible stuff Trump actually boasted about doing.

While Alabama’s reputation is taking a hit for the possibility of sending an accused pedophile, birther, racist, homophobe, Islamophobe, and law-breaking Roy Moore to the Senate, maybe we should cut them some slack. After all, 62 million Americans (fewer than Clinton voters) sent all of that to the Oval Office.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders and other Trump defenders will point out that voters, less than half, voted for Trump after his accusers came forward. That’s a good point but it doesn’t change the fact the man has assaulted women on multiple occasions. Just because you’re OK with someone being a creep doesn’t change the fact they’re a creep. Trump is on tape boasting about assaulting women and venturing into the dressing rooms for his pageant contestants.

Voters didn’t just overlook or ignore his history of sexual assault. They ignored his racism, his xenophobia, his narcissism, his sexism, his failed businesses, and his all-around ignorance of everything it takes to perform as president. And, since Trump wants to continue litigating the election then let’s continue to flashback to his sexual assaults.

If you don’t want to look that far back, then just look at this very morning. Trump actually sexually harassed a female member of the United States Senator on Twitter this morning.

Trump tweeted, “Lightweight Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a total flunky for Chuck Schumer and someone who would come to my office “begging” for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them), is now in the ring fighting against Trump. Very disloyal to Bill & Crooked-USED!”

Apparently, decency is expected of everyone except for the President and maybe the next Senator from Alabama.

Creative notes: You may not have noticed, but I’ve included a can of Diet Coke on Trump’s desk in a few recent cartoons. One reader even scolded me for picking on Diet Coke. Hey, it’s not my fault Trump drinks a LOT of Diet Coke.

Kinda like I was the first cartoonist in the nation to give Trump a very long tie (I’m sticking with that claim), I totally expect other cartoonists to start adding Diet Coke now. Hey, schmoes. I didn’t need The New York Times to point it out. I like heckling my colleagues.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Lauer’s Lousy Weather


cjones12022017

Morning news shows like ABC’s Good Morning, America and NBC’s Today Show isn’t really my thing because they’re a bit too fluffy for me. I alternate between CNN’s New Day and MSNBC’s Morning Joe, depending on which one is annoying me less. Even though I don’t watch the Today Show and never had strong opinions pro or con about Matt Lauer, I still felt kinda bad about drawing this cartoon because I kinda sorta have friends at MSNBC (I’m far from being any sort of insider). Then, I read the details of the accusations against Lauer. I don’t feel bad about it anymore.

Matt Lauer is the latest casualty in the fast-moving national reckoning of sexual harassment in the workplace. He has been a fixture of the network’s most profitable franchise for over 20 years. On Monday, an NBC staffer met with executives and told them Lauer had done bad things. By Tuesday morning, Lauer was out.

I was watching Morning Joe when it was announced. I saw the clips of Lauer’s co-hosts from Today, and you could tell they were reporting the news before they had time to compress and absorb the information. But, after reading some details of Lauer’s behaviors, are they really that shocked?

Fox News caught a lot of grief for turning a blind eye and enabling, if not actually creating an environment for sexual harassment. They ignored the behavior of chairman Roger Ailes and their biggest star, Bill O’Reilly, even renewing their contracts after settling lawsuits. The details of Lauer’s behavior make it hard to believe that NBC executives were totally ignorant of what was going on.

NBC News chairman Andrew Lack wrote in a memo to staffers, “while it is the first complaint about his behavior in the over 20 years he’s been at NBC News, we were also presented with reason to believe this may not have been an isolated incident.”

It wasn’t an isolated incident, and apparently, it wasn’t the first complaint. Later in the day, NBC received two more complaints and The New York Times spoke with one of the accusers. She explained in detail how Lauer intimidated her to have sex with him in his office, from which she even passed out (probably not because it was so good). She claims Lauer started harassing her during a trip to cover the Sochi Olympics, and after the incident in his office, he never bothered her again.

According to Variety, There were other details of Lauer’s sexist behavior around the office. He gave one female co-worker a sex toy as a gift along with a note about how he wanted to use it on her. He exposed his genitals to another co-worker and then reprimanded her for not engaging in a sexual act.

Last year, he was heavily criticized after a debate in which he appeared to go easy on Donald Trump while asking aggressive questions of Hillary Clinton.

One interesting detail from all of this is when Lauer interviewed Bill O’Reilly  after he was fired from Fox News, and asked him if he’d ever sent lewd text messages to colleagues. Lauer said to O’Reilly, “they came forward and filed complaints against the biggest star they at the network they worked at. Think about how intimidating that must have been. Doesn’t that tell you how strongly they felt about you?”

Lauer must have known this topic well, as he had sent lewd text messages himself. And, when complaints were filed with NBC executives, they were ignored. That is, until Monday.

One of the many public men who is struggling with the aftermath of sexual harassment is Minnesota Senator Al Franken. Fellow Minnesotan, author, and radio host Garrison Keillor came to Franken’s defense in a column published by The Washington Post Tuesday where he argued against demands for the Senator to resign. By Wednesday, word came out that Keillor himself had sexually harassed a woman, and he was fired from Minnesota Public Radio.

We’re still waiting for this new no-tolerance attitude to hit politics. Donald Trump, the guy with accusations soaring into the double digits actually had the gall to tweet about Matt Lauer and NBC.

While famous men are being exposed, lesser-known men have been reflecting on their past behavior (and if they’re not, they should). I am one of them. I received a text yesterday, half-jokingly, from my very first editor asking if there was anything from back in the day he should know about. “Back in the day” was my first five years in the newspaper business and I worked for his newspaper from 1990 to 1995. Being married doesn’t seem to be a factor with a lot of these guys who are harassing women, but that, my shyness, awkwardness, and the fact I was actually a good boy back then prevented me from engaging in sexual harassment. That office was staffed mostly by women, and quite frankly, I would have been afraid of each and every one of them. Anyone who was present during that time can surely vouch for that.

If I was a bad boy in the past, it would have started around 1999. I was newly single, discovered bars and playing live music. I gained confidence and some obnoxiousness. Still, I hope I never went past any lines or disrespected any co-workers. Honestly, the most lewdest thing I ever experienced in newsrooms was language. If you ever worked in a newsroom for a daily newspaper, you better know how to curse and speak in sarcasm.

However, after much reflecting upon my past, I’m still looking back. I will continue to do so. I keep that in mind as I cover these topics. I wonder if Lauer had it in his mind while he was interviewing O’Reilly.

And, no. I don’t feel bad about this cartoon one bit.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Congressional Booty


cjones11282017

We do not send our representatives to Washington to use their positions to commit sexual harassment. And, when they do and have to settle their workplace disputes, we should not be the ones financing their settlements.

In the early 90s, there was a scandal over members of the House and Senate bouncing checks at the Congressional bank. Most of us weren’t even aware Congress had its own bank. The outrage was so loud that Congress eventually closed the bank. I believe this new information regarding a taxpayer-financed Congressional “shush” fund should garner more outrage.

While Democratic Congressman John Conyers’ settlement with a staffer accusing him of sexual misconduct came out of his own budget, it exposed that over $17 million of our money has been paid to settle workplace disputes, which includes cases of sexual harassment.

Do you know which lawmakers or their aides have settled disputes over sexual harassment? I don’t know either because it’s kept secret.

Representative Jackie Speier, a Democrat from California, testified that two sitting members of Congress, one in each party, have engaged in sexual harassment. She blames the Office of Compliance, which doles out the money. The Office of Compliance is complicit with sexual harassment because by paying these funds out secretly it doesn’t provide a warning for potential victims or punishment for the perpetrators.

Both chambers are now changing rules regarding sexual harassment. The House is about to pass a resolution requiring all members and their staffs participate in anti-harassment and anti-discrimination training, which the Senate has already adopted. A larger hurdle will be getting them to change the rules regarding secrecy. What do you want to bet there are more than two members who have paid out settlements? How many former members are there?

I want to know and I demand that right. So should you. We already know the House and Senate are full of shit weasels but do we have to finance them when they get gropey?

While Conyer’s settlement didn’t come from the “shush” fund, we still paid for it as it came out of his office’s budget. Should Conyers resign? Yes. While the charges against him may have been politically motivated, he still paid out a settlement, used our money to do it, and then kept it hidden. Yes, Conyers should resign. I will not be partisan when it comes to sexual harassment, especially when it’s combined with making us pay the toll for it. And, yes. It’s not fair for Conyers to resign while Trump is still in office but, one hurdle at a time, people.

Plus, if Conyers has to eat it maybe it’ll force those who legislate themselves to take this issue seriously. They need special training to behave like human beings instead of leeches and, they need to end the pattern of secrecy to protect themselves.

Settlements are often the only means in which a victim achieves some sort of justice. Unfortunately, these settlements are also used to silence the victims and protect the perpetrators. Using our money to silence victims is unjust and it should be criminal. Our money should not be used to protect the accused.

I want the accused named and I want it done now.

I haven’t been silenced about this and I intend to get very loud. Join me. Hold our elected representatives accountable.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Him Too


cjones11242017

One of the defenses Roy Moore’s supporters love to bring up is, why now? It’s a better defense than comparing him to Joseph and Mary, or he never did it without the parents’ permission, or that some 14-year-old girls can pass for 20, or that all the single women his age were already hooked up, or he dated young ladies “for their purity.” Seriously. A pastor used that last defense.

Moore’s defenders point out that he’s run for statewide election several times in the past and has been in the public eye for decades. So, why now?

I can’t believe Alabama is a black hole that doesn’t receive national news, but I can believe Roy Moore and his supporters are idiots. There’s a lot of people who can ask “why now?”. Roger Ailes probably asked that question before he died. I’m sure Bill O’Reilly, Al Franken, Kevin Spacey, Louis C.K., Charlie Rose, and John Conyers are asking the question. We need to pay less attention to the “why nows” and more to the “me toos.” Every man needs to ask himself if he has ever created a “me too.”

What is being described as “a critical mass of testimonials” is hitting men in politics, entertainment, business, and even in journalism. While we knew about Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly, which didn’t really shock anyone, new startling revelations are emerging about Charlie Rose, New York Times reporter Glenn Thrush, Mark Halperin, and Michael Oreskes.

As these revelations come out, lesser-known guys like myself have to be asking ourselves, “did I do that?” (and hopefully not in an Urkel voice). If every man in the United States who committed a sexual transgression in life was to lose his job, the unemployment rate would be somewhere around 60%, and you’d only have three political cartoonists to read.

O’Reilly’s story didn’t make me question my past. I have never called a girl on the phone and committed his offense. Since I’ve never disrobed and asked a female colleague to give me a nude massage or watch me shower, or answer the door in a bathrobe, neither Rose’s or Weinstein’s traps trigger any flashbacks. Louis C.K.’s deal definitely did not make me feel ashamed because who in the hell does that? What is wrong with these guys? How does it ever enter someone’s brain that THAT is a good idea or someone might even wanna see that? I don’t even want to describe it here, and this blog uses curse words.

Some guys, instead of confronting themselves, will cry about the times they’ve been sexually harassed. They need to cut that shit out right now. Yes, we get sexually harassed….like once in our lives. So, guys….shut up.

Some guys might think they’ve been Mr. Awesome their entire lives and have only exhibited ultra-cool behavior. They’re wrong, because even when we’re at our “coolest” we’re still bumbling idiots. We’re idiots who don’t know where the line is.

Thrush and Franken have both been accused of kissing women who didn’t want to be kissed. While I question what I might have said to a woman while I was in their company or even in a working atmosphere, I know I’ve crossed lines with physical contact. I’m sure every guy has. At times, attempting a kiss is a normal routine in dating. It’s called “making a move.” We’re all familiar with it, I hope. At other times, it’s taken as an assault. This is an area that has a line.

How many times have you kissed a girl without explicit permission? How often has it worked out and how many times has it not? In your best case scenario, she let you down gently and was cool about it and you treated her with respect and didn’t run off to tell your mutual friends and colleagues that she’s a slutty lesbian. As a guy who has been shot down in what must be a record number of attempts in various situations throughout his life, I hope I have always responded well. A couple of women come to mind who shot me down (usually just me asking them out) who were super cool with their rejections as though they were concerned for my pride and dignity (though, I still slapped myself in the head all the way home calling myself an idiot). Hopefully, I’ve never done the forced-tongue-down-the-throat technique Franken has been accused of. It’s dangerous being single, which I’ve been since 1999.

There’s been a few times in my life where a woman thought I was interested in her when I wasn’t. There’s been several more where I thought a woman was interested in me when she was not. And, there’s been a few times where I didn’t know someone was interested until years later after the ship had sailed. As I said before, we’re idiots. We spend our entire lives falling down stairs. But, how many times have you been wrong and disrespected a woman with your blunder?

We need to ask ourselves how often we’ve crossed the lines between making a simple pass and offending someone, or even worse, committing an assault.

It’s time to be introspective. Are all of our interactions in the past harmless, something that might be a cherished memory, or simply blown off as no big deal, or is it something that would ruin your career if you had a famous name?

Maybe, we can take the lessons from the past and apply it to our future.

And, let me make a note for every woman out there who has crossed my path in the past, I am NOT famous.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Partisan Outrage


cjones11202017

When Roy Moore, Alabama’s Republican nominee for the U.S. Senate, had a woman accuse him of trying to have sex with her when she was 14, she wasn’t alone. Three other accusers joined her. More accusers came out the next day, and the next, and the next. We’ve hit double digits. You can make a pun out of “Moore” accusers.

After Minnesota Senate Democrat Al Franken’s accuser came out, she was alone and nobody has joined her since. The comparison between Moore and Franken isn’t fair. One was trying to get his rocks off with teenage girls while the other was staging comedy bits. One set a pattern while the other did not. But, politics is not fair.

Donald Trump tweets out an attack on Al Franken while remaining silent on Roy Moore and being tone-deaf regarding over 20 of his own accusers. Trump has boasted, very proudly, about groping women and barging in on teenage girls while they’re naked in a dressing room. Sarah Huckabee Sanders said it’s different because Franken admitted wrongdoing while Trump has denied his ever happened, even though he’s on tape admitting it.

For Republicans, lying, deflecting, and calling your accusers liars is more honorable than being honest, apologizing, and calling for an ethics investigation on your own past behavior.

People talk a good game about bridging the partisan divide, but they crap all over themselves when the perfect opportunity confronts them. Alabama’s governor has stated she believes Roy’s accusers but, she’s gonna vote for him anyway. She would rather have a pedophile in the Senate than someone she disagrees with. How is that being a good Christian?

The accusations against Franken won’t be the last to hit Washington. Watch how Republicans respond. The same people critical of Franken and have yelled for him to resign will be silent when Republicans are hit. The hypocrisy won’t matter. It’ll be like it just doesn’t exist to them.

Republicans will take a cue from Trump and Roy Moore. They’ll lie, deflect, and attack the accusers. Being honest is for Democrats.

Creative notes: I completed this cartoon early last night but I held it for today. I sent it to my clients and one of them has already scooped me and published it on their site.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.