Let’s Go To Prison

Fucknut Qanon troglodyte she-beast Marjorie Taylor Greene plans to visit January 6 defendants in prison. She believes the white nationalist terrorists who committed an insurrection in attacking our nation in a failed coup attempt are patriots. But hey, maybe while she’s there, she can visit the biggest January 6 defendant, former president (sic) of the United States Donald J. Trump. The “J” is for jagoff.

Donald Trump predicted this morning, Saturday, March 18, 2023, that he’s going to be arrested this Tuesday. Trump “truthed” in all caps because nobody’s taught grandpa how to use the caps lock key yet, “THE FAR & AWAY LEADING REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE AND FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WILL BE ARRESTED ON TUESDAY OF NEXT WEEK. PROTEST, TAKE OUR NATION BACK!”

Wow, right? He admits he’s the former president.

An indictment is expected soon from the Manhattan grand jury that’s been hearing the district attorney’s case against Trump in the hush money scheme to silence Stormy Daniels in the 2016 presidential election. Does Trump actually know when the indictment is coming down? He probably doesn’t. But what he is doing is using this to raise money. He’s also calling for a protest much like he did for January 6 when Congress was certifying the Electoral College and Joe Biden’s victory in the 2020 presidential election.

Within hours, Speaker Kevin McCarthy tweeted that he is calling for investigations into whether federal funds were being used for “politically motivated prosecutions.” But Donald Trump did pay Stormy Daniels to remain silent about their shagfest, the toad, and yeti pubes without filing it as a campaign expense. McCarthy should wait until after a trial before calling for more bullshit investigations. This is the same guy who bragged that the Benghazi investigations were used to hurt Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. How much in federal funds is the Republican House using for politically motivated investigations into Hunter Biden?

MTG has now added defunding federal investigations into Mr. Yeti Pubes before she’ll vote to raise the debt ceiling. Republicans want criminals to run wild.

But if you’re excited about the prospect of Trump being convicted and sent to prison on the Stormy Daniels thing, don’t be. Out of all the investigations currently ongoing against Trump, this is the one he’s not really worried about. In fact, he may insist upon doing a perp walk as it’ll be a great fundraiser and aid in creating another MAGA white nationalist terrorist riot. What fun.

For Trump to be indicted, prosecutors will have to convince a jury that Trump intentionally violated campaign finance laws with the strongest testimony coming from a convicted perjurer in Michael Cohen, and a porn star. And even if he is convicted, jail time is not mandatory. Since this will be the first time he’s ever been convicted criminally, I wouldn’t put money on a jail sentence.

The cases that should truly worry Trump are the investigations by Special Counsel Jack Smith and the one over election tampering in Georgia. Trying to steal an election, overthrow the government, and stealing and hiding classified documents is much more serious than boinking a porn star. The biggest excitement I’ll gain from this is the possibility that we’ll see Sniffles in handcuffs.

But even in the Stormy case, Trump has a greater chance of eating prison food before Russian President Vladimir Putin does.

The International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued an arrest warrant for Putin. Don’t get excited about this one either because not only can’t the ICC go and get Putin out of Russia, it’s a warrant that’s not recognized by a lot of nations, including the United States. President Biden said it’s “justified” even as he pointed out that we don’t recognize it.

Even if he’s never arrested, Vladimir Putin is a war criminal. And the warrant is still a big deal because this is the leader of a G0 nation.

But if Putin is ever put in prison, let’s make it convenient for MTG, who loves and defends both men, and make Trump and Putin cellmates.

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