Jail

Let’s Go To Prison


Fucknut Qanon troglodyte she-beast Marjorie Taylor Greene plans to visit January 6 defendants in prison. She believes the white nationalist terrorists who committed an insurrection in attacking our nation in a failed coup attempt are patriots. But hey, maybe while she’s there, she can visit the biggest January 6 defendant, former president (sic) of the United States Donald J. Trump. The “J” is for jagoff.

Donald Trump predicted this morning, Saturday, March 18, 2023, that he’s going to be arrested this Tuesday. Trump “truthed” in all caps because nobody’s taught grandpa how to use the caps lock key yet, “THE FAR & AWAY LEADING REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE AND FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WILL BE ARRESTED ON TUESDAY OF NEXT WEEK. PROTEST, TAKE OUR NATION BACK!”

Wow, right? He admits he’s the former president.

An indictment is expected soon from the Manhattan grand jury that’s been hearing the district attorney’s case against Trump in the hush money scheme to silence Stormy Daniels in the 2016 presidential election. Does Trump actually know when the indictment is coming down? He probably doesn’t. But what he is doing is using this to raise money. He’s also calling for a protest much like he did for January 6 when Congress was certifying the Electoral College and Joe Biden’s victory in the 2020 presidential election.

Within hours, Speaker Kevin McCarthy tweeted that he is calling for investigations into whether federal funds were being used for “politically motivated prosecutions.” But Donald Trump did pay Stormy Daniels to remain silent about their shagfest, the toad, and yeti pubes without filing it as a campaign expense. McCarthy should wait until after a trial before calling for more bullshit investigations. This is the same guy who bragged that the Benghazi investigations were used to hurt Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. How much in federal funds is the Republican House using for politically motivated investigations into Hunter Biden?

MTG has now added defunding federal investigations into Mr. Yeti Pubes before she’ll vote to raise the debt ceiling. Republicans want criminals to run wild.

But if you’re excited about the prospect of Trump being convicted and sent to prison on the Stormy Daniels thing, don’t be. Out of all the investigations currently ongoing against Trump, this is the one he’s not really worried about. In fact, he may insist upon doing a perp walk as it’ll be a great fundraiser and aid in creating another MAGA white nationalist terrorist riot. What fun.

For Trump to be indicted, prosecutors will have to convince a jury that Trump intentionally violated campaign finance laws with the strongest testimony coming from a convicted perjurer in Michael Cohen, and a porn star. And even if he is convicted, jail time is not mandatory. Since this will be the first time he’s ever been convicted criminally, I wouldn’t put money on a jail sentence.

The cases that should truly worry Trump are the investigations by Special Counsel Jack Smith and the one over election tampering in Georgia. Trying to steal an election, overthrow the government, and stealing and hiding classified documents is much more serious than boinking a porn star. The biggest excitement I’ll gain from this is the possibility that we’ll see Sniffles in handcuffs.

But even in the Stormy case, Trump has a greater chance of eating prison food before Russian President Vladimir Putin does.

The International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued an arrest warrant for Putin. Don’t get excited about this one either because not only can’t the ICC go and get Putin out of Russia, it’s a warrant that’s not recognized by a lot of nations, including the United States. President Biden said it’s “justified” even as he pointed out that we don’t recognize it.

Even if he’s never arrested, Vladimir Putin is a war criminal. And the warrant is still a big deal because this is the leader of a G0 nation.

But if Putin is ever put in prison, let’s make it convenient for MTG, who loves and defends both men, and make Trump and Putin cellmates.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Cake For Bannon


Steve Bannon has been sentenced to four months in jail for refusing to comply with a congressional subpoena. His prison sentence is about two and a half terms of Liz Truss being prime minister (yes, that was a cartoon idea but I had already done enough on her). Bannon is allowed to appeal, but he gets to roam free and keep gooning while that process plays out. In fact, gooning is exactly what he did on the sidewalk outside the courthouse.

He said, “On November 8, there’s going to (be) judgment on the illegitimate Biden regime. And quite frankly, Nancy Pelosi and the entire committee.” He added that voters will be “weighing and measuring” the actions of the FBI as well as the congressional investigation into January 6.

Bannon is a white nationalist champion of the deep-state conspiracy theory. He’s unapologetic for being a fascist fuck and violating the law, believing he’s above it.

He had no right to defy a congressional subpoena. There is no executive privilege since he wasn’t working for the White House for the period the January 6 Committee wants to ask him about. He’s not a lawyer so he can’t claim attorney-client privilege. All he’s claiming is a privilege. He believes it’s his white privilege not to comply with a congressional subpoena. And he’s been given a privilege by not being ordered to go to jail immediately.

He also says voters will be “weighing and measuring” the actions of the FBI in November. This is some real gaslighting. The FBI did its job. Donald Trump was given the privilege to comply with the National Archives’ request and the Department of Justice’s demands that he return files. He kept lying, evading, and obstructing justice. Is the government supposed to let Trump steal classified documents and store them in the basement of his country club? Also, the FBI is NOT on the ballot.

Bannon claimed the Biden administration is illegitimate. That is false. President Joe Biden was elected by a majority of American voters and he won the Electoral College. It’s also a lie to say the committee or Speaker Pelosi aren’t legitimate. But I guess if you’re a fascist, you believe elections aren’t legitimate. In Bannon’s view, the only people who should hold power in this country are those who steal elections, not those elected by the people.

Bannon was also fined $200,000, but that’s nothing to him. He’s already fundraising off this, playing the white victim persecuted by the “deep state.” Fundraising is part of what Bannon did to be convicted in the past, for which Trump gave him a pardon.

Steve Bannon is a lying corrupt racist yet his supporters can’t see it…or they refuse to see it. You have to have some very low standards and fucked-up values to believe in Steve Bannon. In fact, you have to be a white supremacist to cry for Steve Bannon. He will lose his appeal, go to prison, and probably join a prison gang of Aryans. He might enjoy prison.

Bannon is going to prison to build his street cred with MAGA, and in a way, he’s going to prison for Donald Trump. I’m waiting for the day when Donald Trump goes to prison for Trump.

Creative Note: This idea has been used before in cartoons, so much so that I don’t think anyone can claim it. It’s kinda like the coat hanger on the top of the Supreme Court building cartoon that a thousand cartoonists have done. But I thought this cake/file cartoon was very appropriate for the subjects of Trump stealing classified files and Bannon needing a cake with a file in it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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White Terrorist Privilege


Cjones07232021

Crystal Mason voted in the 2016 presidential election. Unfortunately for her, she was a convict on parole and ineligible to vote. She did not know she was ineligible to vote. Crystal’s vote, naturally, was rejected. Since her name was not on the voting rolls at the precinct where she voted, she was given a provisional ballot which is what a person is given if there are questions about their vote. If you vote with this method, your eligibility will be checked before your vote counts. In Texas where Mason cast her ballot, 40,000 other provisional ballots were rejected in that same election. In the same county where she voted, since 2014, seven out of eight provisional ballots have been rejected. Out of all these people who cast rejected votes, Crystal Mason was the only one to be charged with illegal voting. Oh, yeah. Crystal Mason is black. Now it makes total sense.

Crystal Mason wasn’t a violent offender the first time she went to prison. She was a tax preparer who inflated returns, not for herself, but for her clients. She served a year in prison for this crime. For voter fraud, she was sentenced to five years. Both of these sentences are longer than the one Paul Hodgkins got. Who dat? We’ll get to dat.

In 2016 in Texas, Terri Lynn Rote voted for Donald Trump…twice. Bruce Bartman voted on his dead mother’s ballot. Justice of the Peace, Russ Casey, forged signatures to get on a ballot. None of them received prison sentences. Guess what. They’re all white. Also, it was in Texas.

Tommy Chong was sentenced to nine months in federal prison, fined $20,000, and forfeited over $103,000 in property for selling bongs. And these were empty bongs. There was no marijuana in these bongs. Yet, nine months for Tommy. The prosecution even argued that a member of Cheech and Chong used his name and reputation to sell drug paraphernalia. Using your name to sell shit in America? The nerve.

What Tommy Chong should have done was sell fake educations from a fake university with his name on it. The last guy to do that is playing golf right now in Florida.

Patricia Spottedcrow was sentenced to 12 years for selling $31 worth of marijuana in Oklahoma in 2011. Even after she was released, the Native American/African American mom, was sent back to prison for unpaid court fees.

Also in 2011, 75-year-old disabled veteran Carroll Brooker was given life in prison for growing three dozen cannabis plants in Alabama. All put together with the unusable parts like stalks and vines, the total weight of the weed that sent Brooker to prison for life was 2.8 pounds. Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi, and South Dakota have mandatory life sentences for growing weed.

I would argue that a greater crime than a person on probation voting illegally, smoking weed, or growing weed, would be trying to prevent people from voting. I believe all these Republican lawmakers should be given mandatory prison sentences for making it harder for minorities to exercise their constitutional rights.

You can argue that by voting illegally, someone is violating democracy and trying to install a president through illicit means, even though we’ve never had enough voter fraud to overturn a presidential election in any state…ever. What Paul Hodgkins did was try to install a fascist dictator through a white nationalist coup attempt. What Paul Hodgkins did is the very definition of terrorism. Yesterday, Hodgkins was the first white nationalist Trump terrorist to receive a sentence. He got eight months. Hell, he should have been given extra time just for being from Florida.

Hodgkins pleaded to a single count of obstructing an official proceeding, which was Congress certifying the election, which is a constitutionally-mandated procedure. On January 6, while carrying a Trump 2020 flag, this goon marched from the Trump hater rally to the Capitol building and barged his way onto the floor of the United States Senate.

Hodgkins told the judge, “Let me go. I’m white.” No, that was obvious. What he did say was he’s “truly remorseful and regretful.” He’s also super-duper sorry for hurting the country he loves and he had no idea there would be an insurrection attempt. He said, “This was a foolish decision on my part that I take full responsibility for. I do not nor will not make any excuse.” He then made the excuse that he got caught up in the passion and the next thing you know, he’s on the floor of the Unite States Senate holding a Trump flag.

He entered the Capitol with people attacking cops and screaming, “Hang Mike Pence.” Someone even brought a noose. It’s kinda like that Trump argument about “very fine people” marching with tiki-torch Nazis chanting, “Jews will not replace us.” Yeah, fine people don’t march with Nazis. Also, fine people don’t barge into capitol buildings with other people brandishing nooses while chanting to hang somebody and overturn an election.

The judge said, “I do not believe that Mr. Hodgkins, other than having made some very bad decisions that day … that he is a threat.” And then he let him go home, trusting he will turn himself into prison authorities eventually.

Sure, he’s not a threat. He only hangs around with people waving nooses and attacking cops.

This is our justice system. It’s not fair. The Justice Department recommended 18 months. Hodgkins should have received 18 months, at the very least. And now, he won’t even serve eight months. What would his sentence have been if he was waving a flag with Antifa’s logo on the Senate floor? What would his sentence be if was black and wearing a BLM hoodie? To be fair, if he was black and had been wearing a BLM hoodie on the floor of the Senate, he wouldn’t have received a sentence because he’d be dead.

This sentence is just like how the government responded to Trump terrorists compared to how they responded to black demonstrators. The military was called and tear-gassed a park and hid the president (sic) in a bunker when black people were outside the White House protesting. For a gathering of white terrorists, the military wasn’t called until AFTER they had stormed the Capitol. And even then, they took their time about it. I bet this same judge would have given more than eight months to an Antifa person for breaking into a Starbucks and stealing half a dozen vanilla bean scones.

And while I argue we should legalize marijuana, decriminalize it, and release everyone currently in prison serving marijuana-related sentences, Trump supporters will tell you their terrorists shouldn’t be punished at all and that they didn’t do anything wrong.

Their ridiculous arguments range from them being just tourists who remained behind roped-off sections to the Capitol being paid for by taxpayers so it’s OK to break in through busted windows and steal the Speaker’s podium.

Based upon the logic that it’s OK to break into government buildings and steal shit, then I should have been able to let myself into Donald Trump’s Oval Office with a brick, and rummage dthrough the Resolute Desk for big-ass Sharpies and Tic-Tacs. I should be able to break into the Smithsonian and take the Hope Diamond. Or better yet, I should be able to break down the fence of the National Zoo and steal a panda. They still eat bamboo, right? Just being hypothetical, where would one find a shit ton of bamboo?

If I did any of that, I’d probably get a lesser sentence than a black guy would for selling pot. Why? I’m white. I’ll just tell the judge I never intended to steal a panda, I just got caught up in the pandamonium. Or I’ll just say it followed me home. Animals like me. I could even argue that I’m not a panda thief but a panda protester.

Animals like me more than Trump supporters do. And quite frankly, animals are better people than Trump supporters. Because even the Trump supporters who are not terrorists are terrorist supporters. They support white nationalism. They support overturning elections. They support destroying democracy. They support conspiracy theories. They have tried to destroy this nation by politicizing a pandemic and with their anti-vaxxer bullshit. At the very least, the ones who do commit terrorist attacks in trying to overturn an election to install a fascist dictator should receive harsher prison sentences than people who smoke a little weed.

Terrorists should receive harsher sentences than pot smokers. Justice should be fair and not dependent on whether the defendant is black or white…or a white conservative Trump supporter.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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