Trump For Prison

You Can’t See Me

While eating a veal parmesan sandwich in a Queen’s diner a couple nights ago, I heard a bunch of kids talking about John Cena, the wrestler. These were elementary-age kids and they were there with their parents of course. I didn’t pay enough attention to the context, but they were talking about Cena a lot. Maybe that’s because Wrestlemania was last weekend. I don’t know. But, I don’t think you have to be a wrestling fan to know who John Cena is. He’s not on the level of Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, but you probably know who Cena is. And if you know who Cena is, then you know of his hand gesture.

To be a star in wrestling, you need a signature or a catchphrase. Hulk Hogan has “Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?” The Rock has, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?” And John Cena has “You can’t see me.” No, wrestling catchphrases don’t have to make sense. Does anyone truly under the thing about what The Rock is cooking? He’s cooking being in a lot of bad movies.

But it’s Cena’s “Can’t see me” that’s in the news right now. Maybe that’s why the kids in the diner were talking. Nah, I doubt they watch a lot of news. Cena’s catchphrase also comes with a hand gesture he performs in the ring. At some point during every Cena match, his opponent will be dazed and lying flat on the mat, facing up. Cena will lean over the guy, put his hand in front of his own face, and wave it back and forth, meaning, “You can’t see me,” telling his opponents that they can’t compete with him or he’s too fast for them to see him coming. It wasn’t created by Cena. He’s given credit to the rapper Tony Yayo but it was seen much earlier than that as Flavor Flav did it years before. He didn’t invent it, b you have to give Cena credit for popularizing the gesture which I’m sure Caitlin Clark does.

Caitlin Clark is one of the stars of the Iowa University women’s basketball team which made a run all the way to the Final Four. Throughout the NCAA tournament, she did the Cena gesture to her opponents. But during the closing moments of Iowa’s 102-85 defeat to LSU, Angel Reese of the winning team did the gesture to Clark. You can’t see your opponents when you lose by 17 points.

After the game, LSU’s Angel Reese caught a shitstorm of flak for doing the gesture, while tapping her ring finger, to Clark. How dare she. How unsportsmanlike. And that’s no way for a young lady to act. Heavens to Betsy! Why the nerve!

Hmm, it’s weird that Clark didn’t get any shit for it throughout the tournament. In fact, it’s weird how nobody gets any grief for any trash-talking in basketball until now. The word “classless” trended on Twitter.

Clark, who finished the tournament with 191 points, the most ever scored by any man or woman in a single NCAA tournament, received praise from Cena himself for using the gesture. He tweeted, “Even if they could see you…they couldn’t guard you.” She didn’t get any heat from anyone for it. But Reese did. By the way, Clark is white and Reese is black. Certainly, that doesn’t have anything to do with it, right?

Reese was unapologetic, saying, “I don’t fit in the box that you all want me to be in. I’m too hood, I’m too ghetto. You told me that all year. But when other people do it, y’all don’t say nothing. So this is for the girls that look like me, that want to speak up on what they believe in. It’s unapologetically you. It was bigger than me tonight.”

Caitlin Clark, the recipient of Reese’s taunt, said, “I don’t think Angel should be criticized at all. I’m just one that competes, and she competed. I think everybody knew there was going to be a little trash talk in the entire tournament. It’s not just me and Angel.” She also said, “Men have always had trash talk … You should be able to play with that emotion … That’s how every girl should continue to play.”

She’s absolutely right. Trash talk is an element of the game. If you think trash talk is unsportsmanlike, an maybe it is, I have some bad news for you. Your favorite players were trash-talkers.

Michael Jordan once backed off Mugsy Bogues, who’s significantly shorter than Jordan, and said, “Shoot it you fucking midget.” Bogues shot, missed, and later said that one shot ruined his career. Jordan got into his head. Jordan would often tell an opponent what he was going to do, then do it. He’d even trash-talk the opposing coaches. One player tried to trash-talk Jordan, who then replied that he had a lot to say for a guy wearing his shoes. The man was wearing Air Jordans.

Charles Barkley is one of the greatest trash talkers and Jordan once said, “Barkley playing without talking would be like me playing with hair.” Barkley said he always wanted his and Jordan’s trash-talking to be on the level of Magic Johnson and Larry Byrd trashing each other. And Larry Bird may be the all-time best at it.

During the warmup for an All-Star three-point contest, Bird walked in and told his competitors, “I hope all you guys in here are thinking about second place because I’m winning this…excuse me,” and started sinking three-point shots without taking his jacket off.

Bird would trash-talk coaches too, asking one, “Haven’t you got anyone on the bench who can guard me?” The coach looked down his bench and said, “No.”

Before a Christmas day game against the Celtics in Boston, Chuck Person nicknamed the “Rifleman,” of the Indiana Pacers said, “The Rifleman is coming, and he’s going Bird Hunting.” During the game, Bird shot a three and before the ball was even through the net, turned to Person and said, “Merry Fucking Christmas.”

Of course, the worst trash-talker of tall time is Donald Trump. He sucks at it. When Hillary Clinton called him “Putin’s Puppet,” the best he could retort with was, “You’re the puppet.” He couldn’t even come up with, “I know you are but what am I?”. He loves to trash women, calling them pigs or that they’re too ugly for him to sexually assault after he’s assaulted them. He calls Stormy Daniels “Horse face.” And you want to trash Angel Reese for being “classless?”

Now, Trump and his supporters are trash-talking Lady Justice after his arrest this week over hush money payments to Daniels.

Here’s the thing though: Calling a woman you had sex with “horse face” is like trashing Jordan while wearing his shoes. It doesn’t work. It’s like when a Trumper tries to insult me by telling me to “go draw a cartoon.” Uh, OK. I’m a cartoonist. I literally draw cartoons for a living. These are the same people who think a chant about having sex with President Biden, “Let’s go, Brandon,” is clever. Republicans set themselves up to be trash-talked, naming one of their groups “Tea Party.” How did they not see “Tea Baggers” coming?

But right now, they can keep trash-talking Lady Justice all they want because as was proven Tuesday, it doesn’t work. Lady Justice is scoring on you and accusing her of being political and biased won’t stop her. Justice is now being served.

Lady Justice is scoring on Trump, and he can’t see her.

Creative note: I had two concerns with this cartoon. First, that someone had already done it. So I scoured the usual places where I read cartoons and didn’t see it. Good. My second concern was that no one would get it. One of my proofers got and the other did not. But from the comments it’s received so far, it works. Now, I have a new concern and that is someone’s going to steal the idea. But hey, they can’t see me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box

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Let’s Go To Prison

Fucknut Qanon troglodyte she-beast Marjorie Taylor Greene plans to visit January 6 defendants in prison. She believes the white nationalist terrorists who committed an insurrection in attacking our nation in a failed coup attempt are patriots. But hey, maybe while she’s there, she can visit the biggest January 6 defendant, former president (sic) of the United States Donald J. Trump. The “J” is for jagoff.

Donald Trump predicted this morning, Saturday, March 18, 2023, that he’s going to be arrested this Tuesday. Trump “truthed” in all caps because nobody’s taught grandpa how to use the caps lock key yet, “THE FAR & AWAY LEADING REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE AND FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WILL BE ARRESTED ON TUESDAY OF NEXT WEEK. PROTEST, TAKE OUR NATION BACK!”

Wow, right? He admits he’s the former president.

An indictment is expected soon from the Manhattan grand jury that’s been hearing the district attorney’s case against Trump in the hush money scheme to silence Stormy Daniels in the 2016 presidential election. Does Trump actually know when the indictment is coming down? He probably doesn’t. But what he is doing is using this to raise money. He’s also calling for a protest much like he did for January 6 when Congress was certifying the Electoral College and Joe Biden’s victory in the 2020 presidential election.

Within hours, Speaker Kevin McCarthy tweeted that he is calling for investigations into whether federal funds were being used for “politically motivated prosecutions.” But Donald Trump did pay Stormy Daniels to remain silent about their shagfest, the toad, and yeti pubes without filing it as a campaign expense. McCarthy should wait until after a trial before calling for more bullshit investigations. This is the same guy who bragged that the Benghazi investigations were used to hurt Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. How much in federal funds is the Republican House using for politically motivated investigations into Hunter Biden?

MTG has now added defunding federal investigations into Mr. Yeti Pubes before she’ll vote to raise the debt ceiling. Republicans want criminals to run wild.

But if you’re excited about the prospect of Trump being convicted and sent to prison on the Stormy Daniels thing, don’t be. Out of all the investigations currently ongoing against Trump, this is the one he’s not really worried about. In fact, he may insist upon doing a perp walk as it’ll be a great fundraiser and aid in creating another MAGA white nationalist terrorist riot. What fun.

For Trump to be indicted, prosecutors will have to convince a jury that Trump intentionally violated campaign finance laws with the strongest testimony coming from a convicted perjurer in Michael Cohen, and a porn star. And even if he is convicted, jail time is not mandatory. Since this will be the first time he’s ever been convicted criminally, I wouldn’t put money on a jail sentence.

The cases that should truly worry Trump are the investigations by Special Counsel Jack Smith and the one over election tampering in Georgia. Trying to steal an election, overthrow the government, and stealing and hiding classified documents is much more serious than boinking a porn star. The biggest excitement I’ll gain from this is the possibility that we’ll see Sniffles in handcuffs.

But even in the Stormy case, Trump has a greater chance of eating prison food before Russian President Vladimir Putin does.

The International Criminal Court (ICC) has issued an arrest warrant for Putin. Don’t get excited about this one either because not only can’t the ICC go and get Putin out of Russia, it’s a warrant that’s not recognized by a lot of nations, including the United States. President Biden said it’s “justified” even as he pointed out that we don’t recognize it.

Even if he’s never arrested, Vladimir Putin is a war criminal. And the warrant is still a big deal because this is the leader of a G0 nation.

But if Putin is ever put in prison, let’s make it convenient for MTG, who loves and defends both men, and make Trump and Putin cellmates.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Trump Toast

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On a recent night at Mar-a-Lago, the guy who used to occupy the White House raised a glass of champagne and toasted himself.

He praised his policies on China with whom he started an unwinnable trade war. He praised himself on how he dealt with Iran which was to remove the U.S out of a treaty preventing that nation from obtaining a nuclear weapon…thus pushing them closer to having nuclear weapons. He praised himself for how he treated immigrants by ripping families apart, throwing children into jails, and losing track of their parents. He praised himself for winning an election he did not win. At some point, he realized he was at a wedding and he got around to praising the couple.

Trump railed, “Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran – how’re we doing with Iran, how do you like that?”

Donald Trump was in a tuxedo which now has penguins searching for a new look. But he continued ranting. He said, “Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they would have done anything, they would have done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ and Iran replies, ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ Oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us.”

At some point, I think he forgot that he was giving a toast at a wedding or even speaking in front of other people as it seemed he was talking to himself. But he continued.

“And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right?”

Quick. Someone get the cake. Distract him with cake. What? He’s not done? Oh, god.

“You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim – he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me.” Was there even a Jim at the wedding or did he just glue little googly eyes on his hand again and pretend it’s talking to him?

Finally…he got around to mentioning the bride and….NOPE. “What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shots, and they call ’em shots, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster.”

Mr. President (sic), would you like to say a few words? No, I’d like to say a lot of words.

He continued. “It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything.”

It continued. “So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?'” No. We don’t miss you and we’re not going to. But then again, we did say the same thing about George W. Bush and…no, nope, no no no…we’re never going to miss your stupid rancid Cheeto-covered ass, you orange shitgibbon from Oompa-Loopma Land.

After warming up, he got started and went into the election he lost and said, “We did get 75 million votes. Nobody’s ever gotten that,” Trump said. “They said, ‘Get 66m votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said … but you know, you saw what happened, 10.30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?'”

Next time someone pushes the Russian talking points and claims President Joe Biden has dementia (Ted Rall), force them to watch the Trump toast.

Finally…he was done and wrapped it up with a nod to himself and the happy couple, whatever their names are. “Now, a lot of things happening right now. I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple … have fun.”

Throughout all this, the band was waiting for him to wrap it up so they can play that song from Dirty Dancing. If you’ve had the time of your life with Donald Trump, then you might be a racist.

So, he’s asked to give a toast, he spends the entirety of it on himself in what would seem like a drunken rant if he drank, and at the end, he can’t even mention the couple’s names. Was his daughter Tiffany the bride?

Donald Trump shouldn’t be enjoying freedom and giving wedding toasts. This man attempted to steal an election. He told officials in Georgia to “find votes” so they could overturn the presidential election in that state. There is no telling what he said to other state officials who visited the White House or where phone calls weren’t recorded. After committing election fraud, he sent terrorists to the United States Capitol to overturn the election in a violent coup attempt. He sent MAGA goons and other assorted white supremacists to stop Congress from doing its Constitutional duty. He succeeded for a few hours.

The only place Donald Trump should be toasting weddings is in prison. He shouldn’t be toasting and giving rants at Mar-a-Lago. He shouldn’t be calling in to Fox News to continue spreading debunked conspiracy theories. He shouldn’t be free to enable more white nationalist terrorists. He shouldn’t be at some gold-plated desk working on his bullshit memoirs. He shouldn’t be working on deals to create a new social media network for Nazis. He shouldn’t be on the golf course continuing to bilk taxpayers for Secret Service protection. He should be in prison.

Georgia is investigating Donald Trump’s election interference. The District of Columbia may start an investigation into his rallying terrorists to attack the United States government. The Justice Department should be opening a LOT of investigations into Donald Trump’s illegal activity throughout his time occupying the White House.

And maybe afterward, Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz can share a toilet of wine together. Donald Trump shouldn’t be giving a toast. He should be toast.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Sin Like Flynn

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Since I’m social distancing and hanging by myself today, why not draw a cartoon? Who am I kidding? I was going to draw one anyway. Hell, last Thanksgiving, I was in Washington, D.C. with my then-girlfriend. We had Chinese food in China Town and saw the Capitals play (they won. I bought a cap)…and the next morning while she was having breakfast alone, I was drawing a cartoon before we drove to Colonial Beach to have dinner with her family. It was nice. There was fried oysters.

Is it any wonder I’m single?

A few things about this pardon of Michael Flynn:

By accepting it, Flynn, who had admitted guilt twice before retracting, is admitting guilt.

Donald Trump tried to issue this pardon in a news hole. Whenever a politician wants to do something with little coverage, they do it in the afternoon and it’s best on a Friday. Here, Donald Trump issued a pardon to one of his goons on Thanksgiving eve. If this was last year, he would have done it while I was stomping around China Town. A lot of the press were winding down and preparing for family and turkey yesterday afternoon. By the time Monday gets here, nobody’s going to remember this and there will be some new outrage to be outraged about.

Donald Trump keeps screaming he won the election, “by a lot,” yet he pardoned a goon which is his acceptance he’s going out the door. He’s leaving.

I drew about Trump pardons yesterday, but how many more pardons am I going to draw? Will he pardon George Papadopoulos, despite not knowing him and claiming he was “just a coffee boy?” Some are saying he might pardon Rick Gates, but he cooperated with Robert Mueller’s investigation. I totally expect a pardon of Paul Manafort, who is in prison and refused to cooperate with Mueller. Trump will reward him. Roger Stone, who had his prison sentence commuted, is publicly asking for more. He wants a pardon. Of course, Roger Stone is a low life and has no reservations about appearing guilty. I expect Stone to get his pardon. He’s disgusting which plays into Trump’s wheelhouse.

According to reports, there is a team in the White House studying who to pardon and that team is being led by none other than Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. Who better to lead a team studying the pardon of Trump goons than a Trump goon? The Biden Justice Department should add the businesses of Jared to their investigations. Perhaps Jared will receive a pardon. His wife, Ivanka, is being investigated. Maybe daddy will pardon her.

Perhaps Donald Trump will pardon Steve Bannon and others involved with the build-the-wall scam. He issued a pardon for conservative conspiracy theorist columnist Dinesh D’Souza, who pled guilty to making illegal campaign donations. He also pardoned a friend of Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, Wall Street Executive Michael Milken who pled guilty to securities and tax violations, got 98 racketeering charges dismissed, and is still worth over $3 billion.

Alan Dershowitz is representing a couple of lesser-known goons and he’s angling to have them pardoned. He praised Trump’s pardon of Flynn. He’s either rubbing Trump for a few pardons or he’s actually a huge fan of Donald Trump issuing pardons as reward to his associates.

In case you’re a Republican, let me lay it out for you: Anyone pardoning their associates is engaging in corruption. It’s a reward for their silence. Do you see Michael Cohen receiving a pardon?

The only people Donald Trump has pardoned has been goons and corrupt racist mother fuckers like Sheriff Joe Arpaio, celebrity causes, billionaire Wall Street grifters, and his friends. You don’t really see poor people…or non-whites…with unfair prison sentences receiving pardons…unless a Kardashian lobbied for them. Most of the people he pardons are guilty rich assholes…just like him.

I really hope Donald Trump does pardon himself so we can finally have the question answered. Can a president pardon himself? I say no because you can’t be your own judge. But then again, there are three Trump justices on the Supreme Court which is corrupt in itself.

Of course, Donald Trump is corrupt so I expect him to pardon himself.

Donald Trump is the most corrupt president in our nation’s history. He’s stopped working as president since he lost the election. He’s only left the White House to golf. He won’t answer questions from the press. And the only thing he’s done is bitch and pardon his goons. He’s going to be corrupt all the way to January 20.

What I really hope for is that Donald Trump eventually lands in prison. And when that happens, I hope the irony of his pardons comes to him.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Mueller Hearing

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Mueller time came with a whimper for many and devastation for others.

If you have read the Mueller Report or at least paid attention to legitimate news sources over the past few months, then Mueller’s testimony before the Congressional Judiciary Committee wasn’t revealing and didn’t present any new grounds to impeach Trump. You already knew this stuff.

However, if you’re a Trump cultist and everything you know about the Mueller Report came from Fox News or even worse, Breitbart, or even worse worse, 4Chan, InfoWars, and Facebook memes, then it was mind-blowing.

First off, the investigation wasn’t a witch hunt and Russia’s meddling into the 2016 presidential election, you’re going to want to sit down for this and hold onto something tight, is NOT a hoax. Devin Nunes, former chairman of the committee, still called it a hoax and a conspiracy theory despite being the one who ran the investigation during Trump’s first two years in the Oval Office. Nunes, is auditioning for the job of Director of National Intelligence while ignoring national intelligence.

In addition to Russia’s meddling not being a hoax, Donald Trump welcomed their meddling. Mueller confirmed that Russia meddled with the intention of helping Trump and hurting the Clinton campaign and Trump was thrilled about it. He also confirmed that Trump was involved in business dealings with Moscow, which Trump has lied about.

When asked about Trump’s tweets and statements praising WikiLeaks for releasing emails stolen from the Democratic National Committee and Clinton campaign chairman, John Podesta, Mueller said, “Problematic is an understatement, in terms of what it displays, in terms of giving some hope or some boost to what is and should be illegal activity.” Just recently, Trump sent more signals that he’d welcome Russian interference.

Here’s another shocker for you. The report did NOT exonerate Donald Trump. Trump has spent the entire time since the release of the report claiming it exonerated him. During the hearing, Republicans argued that it wasn’t Mueller’s job to convict or exonerate Trump which he later echoed, ignoring his previous lies.

Here’s another new one for you. Hillary Clinton and the Steele Dossier didn’t have anything to do with the Mueller Report. Funny enough, Mueller didn’t investigate someone for not breaking the law. Hiring an American firm to conduct opposition research on your opponent is not illegal, even if that firm hires a Brit to do the investigating. Who knew? Everybody. He also didn’t investigate the FISA warrant conspiracy because, again, nothing illegal happened there either. In fact, Devin Nunes’ committee issued a memo on the conspiracy and even wrote that no laws were broken. Despite knowing this, Republicans hammered Mueller on it yesterday hoping he’d help them with their agenda of deflection and whataboutism. Currently, the Justice Department is investigating the FISA warrant and Steele Dossier conspiracy theories because the department, being led by William Barr, is now a branch of the Trump legal defense team.

Mueller informed the committee that he couldn’t determine if Trump had committed a crime which is also an inability to determine if he did not. While Republicans accused Mueller of conducting a witch hunt, he decided against pursuing a sit-down interview with Trump. If Mueller had wanted to find something to nail Trump on, he would have fought for that interview. Mueller did confirm that Trump was less than truthful in his written answers, which for some reason he’s not being charged with perjury over.

By the way, can you imagine how Republicans would lose their shit if the FBI conducted an investigation into Hillary Clinton without interviewing her? In case you forgot, they did investigate her and did interview her without any of that written answers shit.

Ever since Mueller was appointed as Special Counsel, Trump had argued there was a conflict because Mueller had interviewed for the job of FBI director. It took two years, but we finally found out, surprise, that was another Trump lie. Republican Louis Gohmert was trying to nail Muller for conflict by bringing up the Trump lie, which Mueller contradicted. He said he met with Trump to advise him on the FBI job, not as a candidate. Mueller was under oath when he contradicted Trump. Thanks to Gohmert, it’s now on the Congressional record that Trump lied. It’s also on the Congressional record that Gohmert, Jim Jordan, Devin Nunes, and Matt Gaetz are all complicit treasonists who put their cult leader before their country.

Over the past two years, Trump and Republicans have been fixated on members of Mueller’s team who had contributed to Democratic Party candidates in the past. When Republicans hit Mueller on this, he came to life defending his team. Mueller said that at no time in his 25 years of doing just this sort of thing had he “had occasion once to ask somebody about their political affiliation. It is not done.” The thing is, it’s against Justice Department policy to ask about political affiliations. A person can have a political affiliation and preferences and still be ethical and counted on to do his or her job. The fact Republicans keep questioning this, as if it’s impossible, just proves it’s impossible for them to do their job without being partisan and unethical. By the way, Mueller is a Republican.

The report gave the impression that Trump obstructed justice on many occasions and that Mueller wanted to leave that determination to others. Mueller stated in the hearing that Trump can be indicted once he leaves office. That answer, stupidly enough, was set up by a Republican. Once Donald Trump leaves the White House, he will be charged with a crime, and then another crime, and then another crime. Nobody knows the ultimate number he’ll be charged with. This is where Democrats should get a highlighter.

The argument needs to be made from now until election day, that the only reason a president isn’t being charged with a crime or in prison is because he’s president, shouldn’t be president.

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As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Nancy Gets Nasty

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Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was in Normandy to commemorate the 75th anniversary of D-Day. She was asked about comments Donald Trump made about her during the trip, and she replied, “I don’t talk about the president while I’m out of the country. That’s my principle.” As we all know, Donald Trump doesn’t have any principles.

Trump delayed the ceremony by giving an interview to Fox News’ wingnut Laura Ingraham. He even boasted about how he was making world leaders and veterans wait on him. The President of the United States has to keep telling people, and himself how important he is.

Donald Trump is not restrained by presidential decorum while on foreign trips…or any time really. Last week in Japan, he went after Joe Biden by agreeing with a murderous dictator’s comments on the former vice-president. While in Normandy to commemorate the accomplishments and sacrifices of those who fought for their country, Trump attacked Vietnam veteran, Purple Heart and Bronze Star recipient Robert Mueller by calling him a “fool.” Trump also said he didn’t fight in Vietnam because he disagreed with that war, which is exactly what you want a commander in chief to say to the men serve in our armed forces.

He also used his trip to Normandy to finally give Nancy Pelosi, the women who bests him at every turn, a nickname. He has dubbed her “Nervous Nancy.” He also said, “she’s a nasty, vindictive, horrible person.” Keep in mind, THIS guy was calling her “nasty” to Laura Ingraham. Let’s not totally overlook the fact that a Nazi defender was saying this to a Nazi supporter at a D-Day ceremony.

Trump has a thing about calling women “nasty.” During one debate with Hillary Clinton, he said she was a “nasty woman.” Before his trip to the United Kingdom this week, he called the Duchess of Sussex “nasty” because she accused him of being a misogynist (Republicans don’t get irony). He claimed he never called her “nasty” despite there being audio of it. Then, he called Pelosi “nasty” after a report came out from Politico that she told Democratic colleagues she wasn’t for impeachment, but for sending Trump to prison.

The guy who leads chants of “Lock her up” finds it “nasty” when someone says he should go to prison…you know, where many members of his inner circle are residing or headed. In addition to irony, Republicans don’t understand hypocrisy.

Trump said that if he had “made any statement about anybody” while overseas he would be criticized. That’s like predicting if you act like a dumbass then people will call you a “dumbass.” Maybe, don’t make negative statements and refrain from politics while on a foreign trip, especially one to commemorate those who fought and died for your nation.

Also, maybe don’t act like a dumbass. It’s nasty.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Watch Me Draw.

Groundhog Day…Again

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I’ve heard several political pundits compare the Trump era to Groundhog Day. Not the day when a rodent pops out of a hole and predicts weather. They’re comparing it to the great Bill Murray/Harold Ramis movie, Groundhog Day.

Released in 1993, Bill Murray is an egotistical weatherman stuck indefinitely in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania on Groundhog Day, where the day’s events keep repeating on a loop until the end of time or until Bill learns not to be such an asshole.

This is kind of where we are with the Trump administration. Every day repeats something extremely stupid that we’ll be forced to repeat over and over until Donald Trump learns not to be such an asshole or Robert Mueller sends him to federal prison. My money is on prison. It’s more annoying than having to wake up to “I Got You, Babe” every single morning.

Think about it. Does it feel like it’s only been a year since Trump gave his “American Carnage” speech and Sean Spicer chewed out the media for accurately reporting crowd sizes? How can one person accuse Obama of wiretapping him, defend Nazis, endorse pedophiles, and accuse an entire continent of being a shithole in a span of one year? I didn’t think it was possible for one person to tell over 2,000 lies in one year. And, you would think the guy would stop talking about Hillary Clinton after 365 days, but of course not. At some point he’s going to start writing country songs about her.

Late last night, the usual time for breaking Trump stupidity, The New York Times reported that Trump tried to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller last June. The only thing that stopped him was White House Counsel Don McGahn’s refusal and threat to quit if Muller was fired.

Being that they’re all chickenshits, Trump didn’t want to do the firing himself and McGahn didn’t want to refuse to Trump’s face. They each used surrogates, with McGahn being Trump’s. If McGahn didn’t do it to Trump’s face that means he used someone like Reince Priebus or Steve Bannon, which further makes them witnesses to an obstruction of justice. Ya’ll all going to prison.

Apparently, Trump cited three conflicts of interest for Mueller as the reasons for wanting him fired. None of them were good reasons. They were, he once worked at a law firm that represented Jared Kushner, he interviewed to return as the director of the FBI the day before he was appointed as the Special Counsel, and finally, he was a member of one of Trump’s golf clubs and had a dispute over membership fees.

Of course, Trump denies this happened which means it happened. Trump has complained daily about the Special Counsel, the FBI, the Justice Department, and has stated that any investigation looking into his finances will be going too far. Last June was also when the Special Counsel was just kicking in and hiring lawyers with experience in Watergate and Enron. Mueller didn’t hire any reality TV lawyers. Trump is in the deep end and he doesn’t even know how to dog paddle.

One of the many things I find amusing is that Trump’s lawyers are working overtime to prevent him from testifying to Mueller, despite their claims that Trump is a political genius.

Equally amusing is this notion that McGahn is somehow the hero of the White House protecting our nation from Trump fuckery. No, he’s not. This is the same guy who asked Sally Yates, after she warned them about Michael Flynn’s lying to the FBI, “why would the Justice Department care?” There’s also one other little nugget about Don McGahn people are overlooking. He works for Donald Trump.

Sure, he may have done what he thought was best for the nation in refusing to order the Justice Department to fire Mueller. He may have been protecting the president, White House, and Justice Department from the shit storm. Maybe he just didn’t wanna hear Kellyanne Conway defending it on TV. Or, maybe he doesn’t want to go to prison.

If Trump goes to prison, he’s not going alone. Maybe it’s something that’s not obvious to each Trump sycophant, but when Trump asks/tells them to do something, he may be asking them to jump on a grenade for him. I know these idiots worship Trump, but do they love him enough to serve time?

Also, maybe McGahn was looking for a reason to quit. He’s a lawyer who has had to hire a lawyer over Trump Fuckery and the Mueller Investigation. Who really wants a job that requires you to hire a lawyer so you don’t go to jail?

Creative notes: I had another subject mapped out in my head when this news hit. But I wanted to be one of the first to cover the story, so I pushed it aside. That also presented a problem as I had just drawn Trump in prison and inserted one of his lawyers in the cartoon. I really wanted to do something different since I was doing two cartoons in a row on the same subject.

This cartoon isn’t my normal style. It seems like something other cartoonists would think of. I like to shoot for weirder ideas. Also, I’ve drawn very few cartoons on Groundhog Day throughout my career. Part of that is, I hate holiday cartoons and cliches. Another big reason I’ve drawn so few is that Groundhog Day always sneaks up on me. Usually I’m not even aware of Groundhog Day until it is Groundhog Day. I refuse to draw a holiday cartoon that is published after the holiday (though that doesn’t stop some publishers from publishing them after).

This cartoon puts more emphasis on humor than a strong comment on Trump’s obstruction of justice. Something tells me I’ll have more opportunities.

Other creative note: I really wanted to make Phil flipping him off, but you know…newspapers.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Trump Testimony

cjones01272018

You would think every high-profile and esteemed lawyer in Washington would be lining up to represent the president of the United States, especially one who is a supposed billionaire who can pay exorbitant legal fees. But every lawyer worth a crap has rejected his requests for legal representation. That’s what happens when, A.) you don’t pay your legal fees, B.) you’re the client from Hell who doesn’t know when to shut up, and C.) you continue to display your guilt in interviews and tweets.

It’s so bad that Trump had to settle for legal representation from the Quaker Oats guy. Wait, that’s not the Quaker Oats guy. That’s Ty Cobb…the racist, dead baseball player. My bad. That’s a different Ty Cobb. He’s not Wilford Brimley or the dead baseball guy, and I don’t know if he’s racist, but he has one as a client.

As Special Counsel Robert Mueller gets closer and closer to Trump, his defense team is attempting to negotiate how the Idiot in Chief will provide testimony. First, they’ll present a low-ball offer, like Trump answering in written testimony drawn with Crayolas. What they’re trying to avoid is a face-to-face confrontation, on tape, or in front of a grand jury. Their first proposal definitely won’t be volunteering Trump’s testimony under oath.

Wednesday, Trump told a crowd of reporters in the White House that he’s willing to testify under oath. Seconds later, Ty Cobb crapped himself. Trump’s comments took the swirl out of his mustache. Cobb wrote a statement shortly after saying, “are you freaking kidding me? I thought he was on a plane to Europe? Jesus Christ for the love of…why? Why? Why?” Then he threw that statement into a garbage can, started over, and issued a new one which said, “Seriously. I thought he was going to Europe.” No, it actually said, “Mr. Trump was speaking hurriedly and intended only to say that he was willing to meet. He’s ready to meet with them, but he’ll be guided by the advice of his personal counsel.” Whatever Trump is not paying his legal team, it’s not enough.

Trump says a lot of things “hurriedly.” He hurriedly asked James Comey for his loyalty. He hurriedly asked Comey to drop the investigation into Michael Flynn after he found out Flynn lied to the FBI. He hurriedly told Lester Holt that he fired James Comey as FBI director because he wanted to kill the Russia investigation. He hurriedly asked Andrew McCabe, while he was considering him to be Comey’s replacement, who he had voted for. He hurriedly complained about his Attorney General’s decision to recuse himself and that he wasn’t loyal enough. He hurriedly put pressure on his new FBI Director to get rid of his deputy. He hurriedly stated that he’s trying to purge the FBI and Justice Department and rebuild them into his own personal protection service.

Trump even hurriedly tweeted that he fired Flynn for lying to the vice president and…for lying to the FBI. That was an admittance that he knew Flynn had lied to the FBI when he asked Comey to drop the investigation. It’s an admittance of obstruction of justice. Later, his other stupid lawyer, John Dowd, said that Trump didn’t issue the tweet and that he was the twitter machine operator for that particular tweet. Lying for the president makes that lawyer complicit in obstruction. I think the Quaker Oats guy would have been smarter than that.

Trump’s lawyers are not excited for him to testify. Normally, you’d be eager for him to talk because that would mean the investigation is wrapping up and you’ll be cleared and able to move on with your life. Not with Trump. Trump lies.

Trump has gone through several depositions in the past for civil suits, and he has lied his way through all of them. The lawyers for those depositions were probably very good, but they’re not Robert Mueller and the team he has put together. Trump is in trouble. Even if Trump is innocent of collusion and obstruction of justice, he’s in trouble.

When telling the press he’d testify under oath, he brought up Hillary Clinton, again. He’s probably thinking about her in his sleep at this point. She’s gotta be popping up in there between cheeseburger dreams and shark nightmares. Trump informed the press, who already knew, that Clinton didn’t testify under oath to the FBI. That is true. But, Trump should know from Michael Flynn’s predicament that the FBI doesn’t need you to be under oath when they talk to you. Lying to the FBI is illegal.

Clinton did testify to Congress under oath and for several hours. Trump would never be able to sit through hours of Congressional testimony. I hope Mueller grills Trump for hours, as he doesn’t have the energy for long debates, stairs, or golf courses. You know the Special Counsel’s team is going to have a lot of questions for him. From his statements admitting obstruction, to his businesses, to money laundering, to collusion, to paying off porn stars, etc.

The thought of Trump testifying before Robert Mueller is exciting and sad at the same time. Exciting that Trump is no match for Mueller. Sad that it won’t be broadcast live. That would be more exciting than the Super Bowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, and Wrestlemania combined. I would need a lot of popcorn and chicken wings. I hope they release it on DVD.

You couldn’t play a drinking game for Trump’s lies as you’d die from alcohol poisoning, but you could make a pool with friends placing bets on how soon Trump will lie. I’ll put a wager on within the first ten seconds.

One great thing about stupid people is that they don’t know they’re stupid. Kinda like racist people don’t know they’re racist. Trump believes everyone believes his lies. He’s been taught that he can get away with lies in the business and political worlds. He refers to actual facts as “fake news.” Dogma and conspiracies will not save him from Mueller. Trump believes he’s smarter than everyone when he’s really only smarter than his sycophants. If you’ve talked to one of his sycophants, you know that’s a low bar.

Trump is in trouble and his legal team is no match for Mueller or Trump’s stupid mouth. They should find out if the Quaker Oats guy is available.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude