Trump For Prison

Nancy Gets Nasty


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House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was in Normandy to commemorate the 75th anniversary of D-Day. She was asked about comments Donald Trump made about her during the trip, and she replied, “I don’t talk about the president while I’m out of the country. That’s my principle.” As we all know, Donald Trump doesn’t have any principles.

Trump delayed the ceremony by giving an interview to Fox News’ wingnut Laura Ingraham. He even boasted about how he was making world leaders and veterans wait on him. The President of the United States has to keep telling people, and himself how important he is.

Donald Trump is not restrained by presidential decorum while on foreign trips…or any time really. Last week in Japan, he went after Joe Biden by agreeing with a murderous dictator’s comments on the former vice-president. While in Normandy to commemorate the accomplishments and sacrifices of those who fought for their country, Trump attacked Vietnam veteran, Purple Heart and Bronze Star recipient Robert Mueller by calling him a “fool.” Trump also said he didn’t fight in Vietnam because he disagreed with that war, which is exactly what you want a commander in chief to say to the men serve in our armed forces.

He also used his trip to Normandy to finally give Nancy Pelosi, the women who bests him at every turn, a nickname. He has dubbed her “Nervous Nancy.” He also said, “she’s a nasty, vindictive, horrible person.” Keep in mind, THIS guy was calling her “nasty” to Laura Ingraham. Let’s not totally overlook the fact that a Nazi defender was saying this to a Nazi supporter at a D-Day ceremony.

Trump has a thing about calling women “nasty.” During one debate with Hillary Clinton, he said she was a “nasty woman.” Before his trip to the United Kingdom this week, he called the Duchess of Sussex “nasty” because she accused him of being a misogynist (Republicans don’t get irony). He claimed he never called her “nasty” despite there being audio of it. Then, he called Pelosi “nasty” after a report came out from Politico that she told Democratic colleagues she wasn’t for impeachment, but for sending Trump to prison.

The guy who leads chants of “Lock her up” finds it “nasty” when someone says he should go to prison…you know, where many members of his inner circle are residing or headed. In addition to irony, Republicans don’t understand hypocrisy.

Trump said that if he had “made any statement about anybody” while overseas he would be criticized. That’s like predicting if you act like a dumbass then people will call you a “dumbass.” Maybe, don’t make negative statements and refrain from politics while on a foreign trip, especially one to commemorate those who fought and died for your nation.

Also, maybe don’t act like a dumbass. It’s nasty.

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What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
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Groundhog Day…Again


cjones01282018

I’ve heard several political pundits compare the Trump era to Groundhog Day. Not the day when a rodent pops out of a hole and predicts weather. They’re comparing it to the great Bill Murray/Harold Ramis movie, Groundhog Day.

Released in 1993, Bill Murray is an egotistical weatherman stuck indefinitely in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania on Groundhog Day, where the day’s events keep repeating on a loop until the end of time or until Bill learns not to be such an asshole.

This is kind of where we are with the Trump administration. Every day repeats something extremely stupid that we’ll be forced to repeat over and over until Donald Trump learns not to be such an asshole or Robert Mueller sends him to federal prison. My money is on prison. It’s more annoying than having to wake up to “I Got You, Babe” every single morning.

Think about it. Does it feel like it’s only been a year since Trump gave his “American Carnage” speech and Sean Spicer chewed out the media for accurately reporting crowd sizes? How can one person accuse Obama of wiretapping him, defend Nazis, endorse pedophiles, and accuse an entire continent of being a shithole in a span of one year? I didn’t think it was possible for one person to tell over 2,000 lies in one year. And, you would think the guy would stop talking about Hillary Clinton after 365 days, but of course not. At some point he’s going to start writing country songs about her.

Late last night, the usual time for breaking Trump stupidity, The New York Times reported that Trump tried to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller last June. The only thing that stopped him was White House Counsel Don McGahn’s refusal and threat to quit if Muller was fired.

Being that they’re all chickenshits, Trump didn’t want to do the firing himself and McGahn didn’t want to refuse to Trump’s face. They each used surrogates, with McGahn being Trump’s. If McGahn didn’t do it to Trump’s face that means he used someone like Reince Priebus or Steve Bannon, which further makes them witnesses to an obstruction of justice. Ya’ll all going to prison.

Apparently, Trump cited three conflicts of interest for Mueller as the reasons for wanting him fired. None of them were good reasons. They were, he once worked at a law firm that represented Jared Kushner, he interviewed to return as the director of the FBI the day before he was appointed as the Special Counsel, and finally, he was a member of one of Trump’s golf clubs and had a dispute over membership fees.

Of course, Trump denies this happened which means it happened. Trump has complained daily about the Special Counsel, the FBI, the Justice Department, and has stated that any investigation looking into his finances will be going too far. Last June was also when the Special Counsel was just kicking in and hiring lawyers with experience in Watergate and Enron. Mueller didn’t hire any reality TV lawyers. Trump is in the deep end and he doesn’t even know how to dog paddle.

One of the many things I find amusing is that Trump’s lawyers are working overtime to prevent him from testifying to Mueller, despite their claims that Trump is a political genius.

Equally amusing is this notion that McGahn is somehow the hero of the White House protecting our nation from Trump fuckery. No, he’s not. This is the same guy who asked Sally Yates, after she warned them about Michael Flynn’s lying to the FBI, “why would the Justice Department care?” There’s also one other little nugget about Don McGahn people are overlooking. He works for Donald Trump.

Sure, he may have done what he thought was best for the nation in refusing to order the Justice Department to fire Mueller. He may have been protecting the president, White House, and Justice Department from the shit storm. Maybe he just didn’t wanna hear Kellyanne Conway defending it on TV. Or, maybe he doesn’t want to go to prison.

If Trump goes to prison, he’s not going alone. Maybe it’s something that’s not obvious to each Trump sycophant, but when Trump asks/tells them to do something, he may be asking them to jump on a grenade for him. I know these idiots worship Trump, but do they love him enough to serve time?

Also, maybe McGahn was looking for a reason to quit. He’s a lawyer who has had to hire a lawyer over Trump Fuckery and the Mueller Investigation. Who really wants a job that requires you to hire a lawyer so you don’t go to jail?

Creative notes: I had another subject mapped out in my head when this news hit. But I wanted to be one of the first to cover the story, so I pushed it aside. That also presented a problem as I had just drawn Trump in prison and inserted one of his lawyers in the cartoon. I really wanted to do something different since I was doing two cartoons in a row on the same subject.

This cartoon isn’t my normal style. It seems like something other cartoonists would think of. I like to shoot for weirder ideas. Also, I’ve drawn very few cartoons on Groundhog Day throughout my career. Part of that is, I hate holiday cartoons and cliches. Another big reason I’ve drawn so few is that Groundhog Day always sneaks up on me. Usually I’m not even aware of Groundhog Day until it is Groundhog Day. I refuse to draw a holiday cartoon that is published after the holiday (though that doesn’t stop some publishers from publishing them after).

This cartoon puts more emphasis on humor than a strong comment on Trump’s obstruction of justice. Something tells me I’ll have more opportunities.

Other creative note: I really wanted to make Phil flipping him off, but you know…newspapers.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Trump Testimony


cjones01272018

You would think every high-profile and esteemed lawyer in Washington would be lining up to represent the president of the United States, especially one who is a supposed billionaire who can pay exorbitant legal fees. But every lawyer worth a crap has rejected his requests for legal representation. That’s what happens when, A.) you don’t pay your legal fees, B.) you’re the client from Hell who doesn’t know when to shut up, and C.) you continue to display your guilt in interviews and tweets.

It’s so bad that Trump had to settle for legal representation from the Quaker Oats guy. Wait, that’s not the Quaker Oats guy. That’s Ty Cobb…the racist, dead baseball player. My bad. That’s a different Ty Cobb. He’s not Wilford Brimley or the dead baseball guy, and I don’t know if he’s racist, but he has one as a client.

As Special Counsel Robert Mueller gets closer and closer to Trump, his defense team is attempting to negotiate how the Idiot in Chief will provide testimony. First, they’ll present a low-ball offer, like Trump answering in written testimony drawn with Crayolas. What they’re trying to avoid is a face-to-face confrontation, on tape, or in front of a grand jury. Their first proposal definitely won’t be volunteering Trump’s testimony under oath.

Wednesday, Trump told a crowd of reporters in the White House that he’s willing to testify under oath. Seconds later, Ty Cobb crapped himself. Trump’s comments took the swirl out of his mustache. Cobb wrote a statement shortly after saying, “are you freaking kidding me? I thought he was on a plane to Europe? Jesus Christ for the love of…why? Why? Why?” Then he threw that statement into a garbage can, started over, and issued a new one which said, “Seriously. I thought he was going to Europe.” No, it actually said, “Mr. Trump was speaking hurriedly and intended only to say that he was willing to meet. He’s ready to meet with them, but he’ll be guided by the advice of his personal counsel.” Whatever Trump is not paying his legal team, it’s not enough.

Trump says a lot of things “hurriedly.” He hurriedly asked James Comey for his loyalty. He hurriedly asked Comey to drop the investigation into Michael Flynn after he found out Flynn lied to the FBI. He hurriedly told Lester Holt that he fired James Comey as FBI director because he wanted to kill the Russia investigation. He hurriedly asked Andrew McCabe, while he was considering him to be Comey’s replacement, who he had voted for. He hurriedly complained about his Attorney General’s decision to recuse himself and that he wasn’t loyal enough. He hurriedly put pressure on his new FBI Director to get rid of his deputy. He hurriedly stated that he’s trying to purge the FBI and Justice Department and rebuild them into his own personal protection service.

Trump even hurriedly tweeted that he fired Flynn for lying to the vice president and…for lying to the FBI. That was an admittance that he knew Flynn had lied to the FBI when he asked Comey to drop the investigation. It’s an admittance of obstruction of justice. Later, his other stupid lawyer, John Dowd, said that Trump didn’t issue the tweet and that he was the twitter machine operator for that particular tweet. Lying for the president makes that lawyer complicit in obstruction. I think the Quaker Oats guy would have been smarter than that.

Trump’s lawyers are not excited for him to testify. Normally, you’d be eager for him to talk because that would mean the investigation is wrapping up and you’ll be cleared and able to move on with your life. Not with Trump. Trump lies.

Trump has gone through several depositions in the past for civil suits, and he has lied his way through all of them. The lawyers for those depositions were probably very good, but they’re not Robert Mueller and the team he has put together. Trump is in trouble. Even if Trump is innocent of collusion and obstruction of justice, he’s in trouble.

When telling the press he’d testify under oath, he brought up Hillary Clinton, again. He’s probably thinking about her in his sleep at this point. She’s gotta be popping up in there between cheeseburger dreams and shark nightmares. Trump informed the press, who already knew, that Clinton didn’t testify under oath to the FBI. That is true. But, Trump should know from Michael Flynn’s predicament that the FBI doesn’t need you to be under oath when they talk to you. Lying to the FBI is illegal.

Clinton did testify to Congress under oath and for several hours. Trump would never be able to sit through hours of Congressional testimony. I hope Mueller grills Trump for hours, as he doesn’t have the energy for long debates, stairs, or golf courses. You know the Special Counsel’s team is going to have a lot of questions for him. From his statements admitting obstruction, to his businesses, to money laundering, to collusion, to paying off porn stars, etc.

The thought of Trump testifying before Robert Mueller is exciting and sad at the same time. Exciting that Trump is no match for Mueller. Sad that it won’t be broadcast live. That would be more exciting than the Super Bowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, and Wrestlemania combined. I would need a lot of popcorn and chicken wings. I hope they release it on DVD.

You couldn’t play a drinking game for Trump’s lies as you’d die from alcohol poisoning, but you could make a pool with friends placing bets on how soon Trump will lie. I’ll put a wager on within the first ten seconds.

One great thing about stupid people is that they don’t know they’re stupid. Kinda like racist people don’t know they’re racist. Trump believes everyone believes his lies. He’s been taught that he can get away with lies in the business and political worlds. He refers to actual facts as “fake news.” Dogma and conspiracies will not save him from Mueller. Trump believes he’s smarter than everyone when he’s really only smarter than his sycophants. If you’ve talked to one of his sycophants, you know that’s a low bar.

Trump is in trouble and his legal team is no match for Mueller or Trump’s stupid mouth. They should find out if the Quaker Oats guy is available.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude