After Disney opposed Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’ Don’t-Say-Gay law, he and the GOP-majority state legislature took away Disney’s self-governing status. He claimed that he was removing “unjustified privileges,” but it wasn’t something he had an issue with until Disney had the audacity to criticize him. What DeSantis did was seek revenge.

In this special zone, Disney was covering the bill for government services, like water, roads, and other infrastructure maintenance, but by taking away the corporation’s special status, which it had for decades, he placed that tax burden on the residents. They took away the self-governing status before solving the problem of passing the buck to taxpayers. Instead of providing an answer to this at the time, Republicans just said “trust us.” Being that they’re Republicans, you can’t trust them.

Now, DeSantis has signed a bill that gives him control over the district. At a self-flagellation ceremony, DeSantis praised himself saying, “The corporate kingdom finally comes to an end. There’s a new sheriff in town, and accountability will be the order of the day.” This is odd, not just because of the chest-thumping but because Republicans are usually all about corporations. Listen to what Republicans are saying about the train derailment in East Palestine and you won’t hear one of them say “Norfolk Southern.”

The bill gives DeSantis the privilege of creating a five-person state board to oversee municipal services, such as fire protection, sewage, and road maintenance, where Disney World operates. This is an extremely horrifying development. I’ll tell you why.

Typically, government boards are bipartisan and appointments come from more than one source. For example, the Post Office Board of Governors has 11 members with nine being appointed by the president. But, they have staggered terms so different presidents have appointed the nine members. The Federal Election Commission has an equal number of members from the Democratic and Republican Parties. Most government boards, where the members are not elected but appointed, have input from more than one source. It’s rare to find boards that consist of members of just one party. Maybe they have them in places like Utah, but most are bipartisan or at least not appointed by just one person, which would give that one person monarchial powers. This new bullshit board DeSantis has created does just that. Remember, Ron DeSantis has fired elected officials.

Every member of this new board that will govern the infrastructure in the Disney zone was appointed by Ron DeSantis and only Ron DeSantis. Now before you start thinking he only appointed people who contribute to his campaigns, kiss his ass, and right-wing yee-yaw fuckers who he can easily control, let me assure you right now…yeah, that’s exactly what he did. He appointed nothing but goons.

The board includes Michael Sasso, president of the Federalist Society’s Orlando chapter, Bridget Ziegler, a staunch goose-stepping school board member who’s also the wife of the chairman of the Florida Republican Party, Ron Peri, a religious zealot in charge of the Christian ministry The Gathering USA, and two other right-wing lawyers.

The board has the power to raise revenue which they say will all come from Disney, but DeSantis fully intends to use this board and its revenue-raising power to influence Disney’s content.

Say Disney needs some improvement to the infrastructure around the park but the funding has to be approved by the board, but the board says no unless they put pants on Donald Duck. Shit like that.

DeSantis said, “When you lose your way, you’ve got to have people that are going to tell you the truth. So we hope they can get back on. But I think all of these board members very much would like to see the type of entertainment that all families can appreciate.” Who’s truth? DeSantis’ “truth?”

Do you really want a collection of DeSantis-appointed goons to decide what’s family entertainment? What if this board cancels Black Panther because it might make a white kid feel bad? What if they outlaw black mermaids? What if they try to punish Disney (spoiler alert) for including a gay character in The Eternals? Or go after them for the gay antelopes in Zootopia, or LeFou in Beauty and the Beast, or Ethan in Strange World? What if the board stops Disney from firing the white nationalist actress in The Mandalorian? What if the board of zealots says Toy Story can’t have a character named “Woody” because we all know what a woody is?

And in case you don’t know, a woody is what Ron DeSantis has for fascism.

Creative note: I can think of several cartoonists who wouldn’t have even tried to draw Rafiki. They would have traced him.

Also, one of my proofers told me to make the “e” in “DeSantis” uppercase, but tiny like his penis.

Music note: I listened to Third Eye blind.

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