Disney

Dictator DeSantis

This isn’t really happening, is it? Florida isn’t really going to force bloggers to register with the state if they criticize state officials, is it?

It is if fascist-loving Republican state senator Jason Brodeur has his way.

Hey, Republicans, if you want people to stop accusing you of being fascists then maybe quit the fascism. Hmm? And make no mistake about it, this is fascism at its very core. Did you know that bloggers in Russia with over 3,000 readers must register with the state? That way it’s easier for them to find you when it’s time to throw you off a building.

This bill is titled “Information Dissemination,” which is bizarre coming from the party of election lies. The legislation states, “If a blogger posts to a blog about an elected state officer and receives, or will receive, compensation for that post, the blogger must register with the appropriate office within five days of the post.” The bill defines “elected state officer” as “the Governor, the Lieutenant Governor, a Cabinet officer, or any member of the Legislature.” Florida’s cabinet officers are elected and included the Attorney General, Chief Financial Officer, and Commissioner of Agriculture.

Failing to register your blog on state officials would result in a fine of $25 per day, capped at $2,500.

The bill also states the bloggers’ reports to the state “must include” the “individual or entity that compensated the blogger for the blog post, and “the amount of compensation received from the individual or entity.”

The state wants to know who’s saying bad things about officials and who’s paying for it. I guess that way, state officials can track down the financial benefactor and put the squeeze on them, if not the writer himself. Sometimes trying to pressure a blogger doesn’t work because I hear some of them can be crazy and out of fucks to give.

Several people contribute to this blog each month. They can vary from $1.00 to $15. There are not a lot of them but I appreciate each and everyone one of them for believing in my work so much that they want to contribute to it. They contribute to keeping it going. Now, imagine if I had to give the state a list of everyone who contributes. I would refuse, even if it became law.

The bill defines a blog as “a website or webpage that hosts any blogger and is frequently updated with opinion, commentary, or business content,” but it says the “term does not include the website of a newspaper or other similar publication.”

I think WordPress, which hosts this blog and millions of others, needs to hire some lobbyists and lawyers to challenge this shit.

Ron DeSantis’ spokesgoon said the governor was reviewing the bill and, “As usual, the governor will consider the merits of a bill in final form if and when it passes the legislature.” That was the wrong response if the governor loves freedom and democracy. Instead of saying he was considering the merits of some fascist legislation, he should have said, “This legislation, if passed, will go straight from the legislature and straight into the governor’s trash can.” Not this governor.

Who believes the governor who has punished Disney for disagreeing with him will veto this bill? Who believes the governor who outlawed the word “gay” from classrooms will veto this bill? Who believes the governor outlawing black history being taught will veto this bill? Who believes the governor firing elected officials will veto this bill? Who believes the governor trying to take over a state college in order for it to give a “conservative” education will veto this bill? Who believes the governor who just created a board of homophobic religious zealots to oversee Disney’s content will veto this bill? Who believes the governor who proclaimed that Florida is “where woke goes to die” will veto this bill?

I don’t think Ron DeSantis will veto this bill.

You would also think this is useless legislation since it violates the Constitution, but considering all the goons Trump and Mitch McConnell have stacked in the courts, who says it can’t get survive court challenges?

Brodeur needs more than a civics lesson. He said, “Paid bloggers are lobbyists who write instead of talk. They both are professional electioneers. If lobbyists have to register and report, why shouldn’t paid bloggers? Because in many cases, bloggers are journalists. A lobbyist has to file as a lot of their legislative efforts aren’t public. A blogger’s work is public. My cartoons and blogs are public and I rarely if ever talk to government officials. I don’t take government officials out to lunch or on fact-finding trips. I don’t play golf with congressmen. And what if a blogger isn’t paid?

Blogging is also speech. Freedom of speech is a constitutional guarantee. If I don’t register with the state, then I can’t say something about a specific topic? Republicans call themselves constitutionalists but it seems none of them have read the Constitution.

I haven’t read that this bill, if passed, would apply to bloggers outside of Florida. Maybe its author doesn’t understand he can’t legislate beyond his state’s borders. But I have half a mind to move to Florida just to challenge this bullshit bogus fascist legislation. But even without being in Florida, I need to care about this because Florida is still a part of the United States. Also, DeSantis is planning to run for president and I’m sure if elected, he’ll push his fascism nationwide.

Not in my America. When you go after bloggers and freedom of speech, you’re coming after me. You wanna fight? You got one. And if you think the mouse was tough, you haven’t tangled with a political cartoonist yet.

Frustrating blog note: I’m writing this at McDonald’s in Central Park. No, not the famous Central Park in Manhattan but the stupidly named Central Park in Fredericksburg which is not a park but a collection of strip malls with a neon design inspired by Las Vegas’ sunset strip. I’m not shitting you.

I came to Central Park to pick up my new eyeglasses. There were supposed to be two but apparently, I only bought one pair even though the salesman talked me into making sure the lenses for both frames were progressive, me handing him two frames, and us going back and forth about the lenses for both pairs. What really stumped me is that I paid the same price for this one pair that I paid for two last year. But OK, I bought one pair with a better set of lenses even though I wasn’t aware of that at the moment and they couldn’t compare to my last order because, for some reason, I have two accounts at America’s Best. Whatever. I have one pair now.

After picking up my ONE pair of eyeglasses, I walked over to Wegmans and got some rice and noodles from the buffet. I checked the notifications on my phone and realized I couldn’t read them because my eyes have not adjusted to my brand new ONE pair of eyeglasses at America’s Best, or they fucked them up. I had donated all my old pairs of eyeglasses to America’s Best to give to charity, but I decided to go back and retrieve the one I wore into the store. I did that, took a long walk to Starbucks to discover the lobby is closed, then walked back into the wind to write the blog at McDonald’s where I also ordered a mocha….and learned after paying that the mocha machine is done.

I also missed the bus to get down here so I had to order a Lyft. Quite frankly, the only thing that worked right today was the Lyft, the rice, and the noodles. Also, Madonna’s “borderline” is playing right now. “I feel I’m going to lose my mind.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

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Monkeying With Disney

After Disney opposed Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’ Don’t-Say-Gay law, he and the GOP-majority state legislature took away Disney’s self-governing status. He claimed that he was removing “unjustified privileges,” but it wasn’t something he had an issue with until Disney had the audacity to criticize him. What DeSantis did was seek revenge.

In this special zone, Disney was covering the bill for government services, like water, roads, and other infrastructure maintenance, but by taking away the corporation’s special status, which it had for decades, he placed that tax burden on the residents. They took away the self-governing status before solving the problem of passing the buck to taxpayers. Instead of providing an answer to this at the time, Republicans just said “trust us.” Being that they’re Republicans, you can’t trust them.

Now, DeSantis has signed a bill that gives him control over the district. At a self-flagellation ceremony, DeSantis praised himself saying, “The corporate kingdom finally comes to an end. There’s a new sheriff in town, and accountability will be the order of the day.” This is odd, not just because of the chest-thumping but because Republicans are usually all about corporations. Listen to what Republicans are saying about the train derailment in East Palestine and you won’t hear one of them say “Norfolk Southern.”

The bill gives DeSantis the privilege of creating a five-person state board to oversee municipal services, such as fire protection, sewage, and road maintenance, where Disney World operates. This is an extremely horrifying development. I’ll tell you why.

Typically, government boards are bipartisan and appointments come from more than one source. For example, the Post Office Board of Governors has 11 members with nine being appointed by the president. But, they have staggered terms so different presidents have appointed the nine members. The Federal Election Commission has an equal number of members from the Democratic and Republican Parties. Most government boards, where the members are not elected but appointed, have input from more than one source. It’s rare to find boards that consist of members of just one party. Maybe they have them in places like Utah, but most are bipartisan or at least not appointed by just one person, which would give that one person monarchial powers. This new bullshit board DeSantis has created does just that. Remember, Ron DeSantis has fired elected officials.

Every member of this new board that will govern the infrastructure in the Disney zone was appointed by Ron DeSantis and only Ron DeSantis. Now before you start thinking he only appointed people who contribute to his campaigns, kiss his ass, and right-wing yee-yaw fuckers who he can easily control, let me assure you right now…yeah, that’s exactly what he did. He appointed nothing but goons.

The board includes Michael Sasso, president of the Federalist Society’s Orlando chapter, Bridget Ziegler, a staunch goose-stepping school board member who’s also the wife of the chairman of the Florida Republican Party, Ron Peri, a religious zealot in charge of the Christian ministry The Gathering USA, and two other right-wing lawyers.

The board has the power to raise revenue which they say will all come from Disney, but DeSantis fully intends to use this board and its revenue-raising power to influence Disney’s content.

Say Disney needs some improvement to the infrastructure around the park but the funding has to be approved by the board, but the board says no unless they put pants on Donald Duck. Shit like that.

DeSantis said, “When you lose your way, you’ve got to have people that are going to tell you the truth. So we hope they can get back on. But I think all of these board members very much would like to see the type of entertainment that all families can appreciate.” Who’s truth? DeSantis’ “truth?”

Do you really want a collection of DeSantis-appointed goons to decide what’s family entertainment? What if this board cancels Black Panther because it might make a white kid feel bad? What if they outlaw black mermaids? What if they try to punish Disney (spoiler alert) for including a gay character in The Eternals? Or go after them for the gay antelopes in Zootopia, or LeFou in Beauty and the Beast, or Ethan in Strange World? What if the board stops Disney from firing the white nationalist actress in The Mandalorian? What if the board of zealots says Toy Story can’t have a character named “Woody” because we all know what a woody is?

And in case you don’t know, a woody is what Ron DeSantis has for fascism.

Creative note: I can think of several cartoonists who wouldn’t have even tried to draw Rafiki. They would have traced him.

Also, one of my proofers told me to make the “e” in “DeSantis” uppercase, but tiny like his penis.

Music note: I listened to Third Eye blind.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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DeSantis Death Disney

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I’m sorry to have taken so long to blog this cartoon as it ran Sunday and it’s now Wednesday afternoon. But I have been busy. I have to pitch ideas for my next CNN cartoon tomorrow so let me go ahead and post this now.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Conspiracy Circle

In 2016, a right-wing goon from North Carolina shot a gun into a pizza parlor in Washington, D.C. His motivation was the belief a Satanic deep state cabal led by Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton was operating a child sex slave ring out of a basement of the restaurant. This was the beginning of the conspiracy theory cult Qanon.

Qanon believes Donald Trump was on a mission to uncover and destroy that Satanic cult of deep state Democrats engaged in pedophilia. Some Qanon followers believe Democrats either eat the babies or drink their blood. Others believe the deep state consists of reptilian people.

Qanon also believe Donald Trump was actually behind the Mueller investigation into his collusion with Russia, and that Mueller was actually working for Trump in a public ruse to to conceal he was actually going after Democratic pedophiles. Robert Mueller is a Republican after all. How all this worked is beyond me.

Of course, all that sounds crazy, right? No child sex trafficking ring was discovered at the pizza shop. There was no deep state. No lizard people. No members working at the shop who were a part of the Clinton presidential campaign. The shop didn’t even have a basement. So anyone who believes the Satanic Democratic deep state child sex trafficking conspiracy theory is just a deranged lunatic on the fringe, right? Personally, I believe the entire Republican Party consists of deranged lunatics.

For the past two years, these deranged lunatics have been gaslighting Dr. Anthony Fauci to the point they can’t even remember why it started. Dr. Anthony Fauci is the leading expert on viruses in this nation. He fought tirelessly against the pandemic, trying to save as many lives as possible. Dr. Anthony Fauci is a national hero.

As new information on the coronavirus came in throughout the pandemic, the strategies to fight it changed. When it started, we were advised not to wear face masks. The rules on face masks and social distancing changed. This made very angry stupid people claim the government was lying and that paranoia should trump science. Dr. Anthony Fauci was hindered throughout the pandemic by Donald Trump, who was suggesting we combat the virus with aquarium cleaner, horse dewormer, and bleach. Republicans were listening to morons like Jeff Rogan over scientists like Dr. Fauci. Republicans soon claimed it was Fauci shutting the nation down, canceling schools, and killing american jobs and businesses, even though Dr. Fauci has no power to do any any of these things. This is not a belief by the lunatic fringe. It’s a common perception among the GOP.

A poll conducted last February found that a quarter of Republicans (in case you’re one of them, a quarter is 25 percent) believe Satan-worshipping pedophiles running a global sex-trafficking operation control the U.S. government, media and financial institutions. A quarter of Republicans believe a storm is coming to sweep away the elites and restore the rightful leader of the country. And, a quarter of Republicans believe true American patriots may have to resort to violence in order to save the country.

This is not Qanon. This is the Republican Party. Additionally, 16 percent of all Americans, 44 million people, believe this shit.

While Qanon is only seen favorably by 16 percent of Republicans according to another poll taken earlier this month, nearly half of mainstream Republicans believe Democrats are engaged in child sex trafficking rings. And 30 percent of Republicans believe the top Democratic elites of the party are involved in child sex trafficking rings.

Ironically, Donald Trump is on tape eyeballing a little girl and talking about dating her in ten years. Donald Trump endorsed an accused pedophile for the United States Senate. Republicans in Tennessee are trying to eliminate age requirements for marriage so grown men can marry little girls. And it seems every time a politician is found guilty of a sex crime with a child, he’s a Republican. Fun fact: No Democratic Speaker of the House has ever been sent to prison for raping a child.

And in case you’re wondering, a majority of Republicans believe Donald Trump is the legitimate president of the United States.

This shit stems from Republicans gaslighting during the hearings to confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court to Florida goon Governor Ron DeSantis canceling Disney. This morning, I saw a political cartoon at GoComics pushing the believe that Disney is full of “groomers.” This cartoon is being distributed by a major newspaper syndicate and it’s not based on any facts. This wasn’t a Ben Garrison cartoon. It’s mainstream conservatism.

I too believe we have to fight to save our nation. I don’t mean physically. I mean we have to fight against disinformation. I believe we don’t just fight the liars, but call out those who are giving them a platform, from syndicates to newspapers to social media platforms.

I have two predictions: The number of Republicans believe lies will continue to increase, and there will be another violent attack based on these lies.

Creative note: I have to be on a train this morning for two cartoon events in Washington over the next two days, so I started this cartoon around 9 PM last night. Being the stupid guy I am, I kept adding details and sitting back thinking about what I could add next. The next thing I know, it’s six hours later. I went to bed around 3 AM and woke at 6:30 AM. I had some really weird dreams in that short time period after googling so many images on Satanic ceremonies.

Music Note: I was watching the Nevalny thing on CNN and listened to an assortment of music, including songs by Counting Crows, Pink, and The Shins.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Goofy Kills Mickey

Republicans have learned they can do pretty much whatever they want. No matter how devious and corrupt their actions are, Republicans can do it plain and clear in the open and get away with it. Ron DeSantis has learned from Donald Trump that if you’re the leader of your party, which he is in Florida (for now), the rest of his party will follow. No questions asked.

Florida Republicans sent a map of new congressional districts for Governor (sic) DeSantis to sign. He rejected it and made his own, eliminating two districts with black voting majorities, despite the state receiving two additional seats after the last census. DeSantis’ new map doesn’t just eliminate two black congressional seats but adds four new Republican seats. Florida’s Republican legislature was OK with DeSantis throwing out their map for his, and quickly approved it. Now DeSantis is going to sign the legislation he created. This is fascism.

Now, they’re attacking Disney for criticizing their “Don’t say gay” bill that bans teachers from discussing gay issues or sexual identification in schools. Disney criticized the bill, because it’s stupid and bigoted, and declared it will cease donating to political campaigns in the state. In retaliation, DeSantis and Florida Republicans voted yesterday to eliminate Disney’s self-governing status.

Florida created a law in 1967 giving The Walt Disney Company governmental control over the land in and around its central Florida theme parks. The special-purpose district gave Disney the responsibility for providing municipal services like power, water, roads, and fire protection, but freed the company from dealing with legal red tape or paying taxes for services that benefited the broader public.

Florida gave this special designation to Disney in exchange for the company making the state the base of Disney World and attracting millions of tourists. In 1967, Florida needed Disney more than Disney needed Florida. But as we’ve all come to learn, Republicans are backstabbers.

A self-governing status isn’t a privilege just for Disney in Florida. There are over 200 of these corporate self-governing districts in the state, like The Villages.

The Villages is a corporate-owned retirement community with a population of 80,000 angry Republican-voting seniors. Remember that video of an old fuck in a golf cart wearing pro-Trump gear and screaming “white power” at Black Lives Matter protesters in 2020? That was in The Villages. Donald Trump, who is the only president to visit The Villages twice, tweeted the video thanking The Villages. Anyway, The Villages, where old white people scream racist chants, votes overwhelmingly Republican. The vote for Trump over Biden in 2020 was over 70 percent in The Villages. So, you don’t see Republicans eliminating The Villages’ self-governing status, which makes it clear their vote against Disney’s status isn’t because they’re against self-governing districts.

This vote is merely about revenge and being butthurt. It’s obvious, it’s clear, and it’s out in the open. The only way not to see how petty and vile this action really is is by refusing to see it. They’re voting against a corporation that just said they’re not going to give the party and its candidates money anymore. This is fascism. This is a cult.

Republicans are forgetting that Disney helped build Florida. Their punishment of Disney is punishing the state, but Republicans will cut off their nose to spite their face. And, they don’t think long term. Case in point: Taking away this self-governing district will leave a debt hanging for taxpayers in Orange and Osceola counties to pick up, perhaps to the tune of over $2,000 per household. Remember, Republicans are supposed to be the party that cuts taxes.

Republicans voted to eliminate the self-governing district before working out all the details. They’re leaving that job for the next legislative session. Ever buy something with payments you can’t afford but think, “I’m sure I’ll figure out how to make those payments…which start next month. But look how shiny my new toy is.” That’s what Florida Republicans just did. Hitting Disney is the shiny toy they couldn’t wait to hit and show their base what they’ve done. It’s so shiny.

I’m curious if Florida’s increasingly right-leaning MAGA voters are going to look at their next tax bill and say, “I’m happy to pay this because Disney is a bunch of groomers.” Will they believe the principles of attacking a company just because they pissed off one man, Ron DeSantis, is worth them each paying over $2,000? I really don’t know because Florida Republicans are stupid. I’m sure DeSantis will find a way to blame that bill on Democrats, Disney, and pedophiles.

The legislation killing Disney’s self-governing status doesn’t mention Disney. It only designates the special districts created before 1968. Of course, there was only one special self-governing district in Florida before 1968.

Sometimes doing the right thing is costly, like Disney taking a stand and speaking out against Republican homophobia. And other times, doing the wrong thing is very expensive. Except, it may not be expensive for Republicans…just the people who voted for them.

Music Note: While drawing today’s cartoon, I listened to the Four Seasons, Dion, Del Shannon, and The Drifters.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

This Is The Way

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In case you’re not a geek: The Mandalorian is a spinoff of Star Wars. It’s a series that runs on Disney+. Din Djarin is a bounty hunter hopping from planet to planet, capturing bad guys, freezing them in carbonite for delivery all while practicing the Mandalorian culture of never taking his helmet off. He says throughout the series, “This is the way.”

Spoiler alert for next paragraph: Throughout the first season, we don’t see Mando’s face (Mando is his nickname). It’s his “way” that no living thing is to see his face…ever. No Humans, no Gungans, no Zabraks, no Wookies, no Ewoks, no Togrutas, or no Twi’leks. Not even Baby Yoda (we still don’t know what he is) who he collects on a bounty and decides to keep and protect and eventually becomes his parent. Yeah, the series is weird. At the end of the first season, we finally see Mando’s face…for a minute. In the second season, he encounters other Mandalorians who inform him that “his way” is an extreme cult of their religion. He reacts the way most people do when informed they’re in a cult…he stormed the United States Capitol to overturn an election. No. What he did was deny it and accuse the others of being traitors to “the way” or whatever it is. But throughout the second season, he seems to ease up on his rule about removing his helmet. At the very end (big spoiler), he takes it off in front of just about everybody in the cast.

The Mandalorian practiced an extreme form of his religion but in reality, Cara Dune is the cultist. Or at least, Gina Carano is.

Cara Dune is an ass-kicking ally of the Mandalorian. She truly is a bad ass and she’s one of the most popular characters from the show. Some have said her action figures are outselling all other Star Wars characters. Even Baby Yoda? There were plans to create a spinoff series for Cara Dune. All this is due from the stellar performance of Gina Carano, a former mixed-martial artist. It’s too bad she turned out to be a right-wing troglodyte.

Hey, there are no laws that says you can’t be an insensitive ignorant stupid asshole, even if you have talent. But, there also are no laws that says an entertainment company has to employ your stupid ass when you publicly share debunked conspiracy theories, stupid bullshit, and a slight tinge of racism. OK. A lot of racism.

People, when you promote the “stop the steal” and “stolen election” lie, that’s out of hate. Let’s make that clear. And when you support Donald Trump, especially at this point, you have a lot of hate. Supporting Donald Trump is racist. Supporting the lie the election was stolen is racist. Where do you think they claim all those fake ballots came from? Black voting precincts. Who stormed the Capitol? White nationalists. Who does the Klan hold parades for? Donald Trump. What are Proud Boys? A white nationalist terrorist organization of guys with tiny peckers who love Donald Trump, the king of tiny racist peckers.

So, when Gina Carano posts on social media that the election was stolen, she’s supporting racists. When she tweets conspiracy theories about wearing masks to fight the global pandemic caused by the coronavirus, she’s supporting hate. When she promotes the “big lie,” she’s enabling white nationalist terrorists.

And when you compare the treatment Jews received from Nazis to hating someone for their political views, you can go screw yourself.

Gina Carano made an Instagram post complaining about the treatment conservatives are receiving for being conservatives. That’s like people complaining their white privilege isn’t receiving enough privilege. It’s weird that the people who call others “snowflakes” are such big whiny-ass babies. It’s weird that the crowd that keeps Colin Kaepernick unemployed and is censuring their own when they turn on Trump is the same crowd screaming about “cancel culture.”

Plus, she’s stupid. Gina Carano worked for Disney and Lucasfilm. Uh…was she unaware of the politics of these two companies? They’re very progressive. Disney and Lucasfilm don’t like Nazis. George Lucas is a bigtime liberal. Don’t fuck with him. So knowing this, she makes really stupid posts that feeds racists? She compares being hated for viewpoints to the Holocaust?

Lucasfilm dropped her and issued an official statement saying she was “not currently employed by Lucasfilm and there are no plans for her to be in the future.” and “Nevertheless, her social media posts denigrating people based on their cultural and religious identities are abhorrent and unacceptable.” The agency that represents her dropped her also.

The place where she works fired her. The people who get her jobs fired her. Don’t look to see Gina in a lot of upcoming shows. She is now officially toxic.

A lot of conservatives asked, “What about Pedro?” Pedro Pascale plays the Mandalorian. Earlier, he compared the incarceration of children by the Trump administration, the throwing them into cages, to the way Jews were treated by Nazis. Fucknuts were claiming hypocrisy. But, they don’t get it.

Comparing children being ripped apart from their families and placed into cages to what the Nazis did to Jews is a fair comparison. Comparing being hated for racist views to what the Nazis did to Jews is not. Trump cultists believe being criticized for racist views is worse than a baby being ripped away from its family.

And in case you don’t believe Gina is on the wrong side of this, you need no better proof than Ted Cruz. Yes, Ted Cruz rushed to Gina’s defense. Sorry, Gina. No amount of beskar will save you from a Ted Cruz defense.

Ted exhibited the same outrage he had when Donald Trump called his wife ugly, before he started kissing his ass, and tweeted, “Texan Gina Carano broke barriers in the Star Wars universe: not a princess, not a victim, not some emotionally tortured Jedi. She played a woman who kicked a– & who girls looked up to. She was instrumental in making Star Wars fun again. Of course Disney canceled her.”

Ted, you’re upset about how a woman is treated? Again, Donald Trump called your wife “ugly.”

Ted, being a conservative and a Trump supporter despite the guy calling his wife ugly and his dad a murderer, doesn’t comprehend. Gina Carano was canceled by Disney and Lucasfilm. Cara Dune was not canceled. At least not yet. She can be brought back with another actress. If they can do it with Clarice Starling then they can do it with Cara Dune. You see, Ted…The Mandalorian is fiction. This character breaking barriers who is not a princess, victim, or some emotionally tortured Jedi who kicked ass and who girls looked up to is Cara Dune, NOT Gina Carano.

And Ted, since you and Gina can’t comprehend, criticizing people who attempted a coup and tried to overturn an election isn’t the same as mass murdering people. Me calling you an asshole isn’t the same as genocide, you asshole. So, are you now going to compare Gina’s firing to the Inquisition?

Being racists who support terrorists may be “the way” for people like Gina Carano and Ted Cruz, but it’s not mine and it’s not “the way” for Disney or Lucasfilm.

Now, I expect life for Gina to be like that of Boba Fett after he was thrown into the Sarlac pit. She’ll turn up 30 years later and we’ll all be surprised she’s still alive. As for Ted Cruz, can we feed him to a Wampa?

Told you this blog would be geeky.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

A Mousey Reopening

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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

There are multiple theories as to why Donald Trump and his band of fucknuts are pressuring schools to reopen.

One theory is they need kids in school for teachers to babysit so their parents can carry on the business of stimulating the economy by going back to work. Another theory is Donald Trump wants the appearance of things being back to normal so he can continue to bark that is and win reelection. The third theory is that they just want to kill you.

Those could all be true to some extent but one thing that is definitely true is Donald Trump doesn’t care about you or your children. If he did, he wouldn’t continue to lie about the pandemic while pushing for reopenings.

Representative Ayanna Pressley said she wouldn’t trust Education Secretary Betsy DeVos with a houseplant let alone her child.

Pressley tweeted at DeVos, who has zero experience working with public education and once said we need guns in schools for protection from bears, on the Trump administration’s plans to reopen saying, “You have no plan. Teachers, kids, and parents are fearing for their lives. You point to a private sector that has put profits over people and claimed the lives of thousands of essential workers. I wouldn’t trust you to care for a house plant let alone my child.”

It’s not entirely true the Trump administration has no plans for reopening schools. They are planning to withhold federal funding from schools if they don’t reopen. They are literally holding children hostage…again. The only thing is, they’re not putting your kids into cages. And maybe DeVos could manage to care for a plastic houseplant without killing it…maybe.

This administration has planned less for reopening schools than Disney World has for their reopening.

Disney World reopened in Florida on the same day the state hit a new record for coronavirus cases. Is nobody paying attention in Florida?

Disney’s plans include requiring face masks to be worn at all times, no character meet-and-greet (that can be a good thing if Goofy still freaks you out), fewer restaurants, employees dispensing hand sanitizer to each person getting on a ride, and no parades.

CNN business writer Alexis Benveniste wrote that Disney World’s reopening felt like the “beginning of a horror movie.”

That’s silly. The horror movie started four years ago.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Beware Of Tourists

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I have drawn more cartoons in the past week with alligators and crocodiles than cartoons with Donald Trump. I’ll try to move on after this unless Donald Trump makes a comment about how much “the” gators love him.

After a child was snatched by a gator in Florida there’s been a lot of debate about how Disney could have prevented the attack. I don’t think there’s much they could have done. Many people point out that Disney does have signs on their property warning tourists about the presence of alligators, but none at the area where the family suffered the tragedy.

Would more signs work? Maybe.

During the 2000’s my city of Fredericksburg had a problem with drownings in the Rappahannock River. Most of the drownings were Spanish speaking immigrants. The city put up signs in English and Spanish and it seems to have worked. After several drownings it seems they stopped after the signs went up. Don’t tell Trump because he might send Chris Christie down here to tear them down.

There was also a big issue about cars being towed in the city. Tourists were parking downtown at a convenience store across the street from a very expensive restaurant. There were signs warning that their cars would be towed, but the tourists would ignore them and later write letters to the editor complaining about their vehicles being towed.

Having your vehicle towed isn’t the same tragedy as drowning or being snatched by an alligator, but the comparison is interesting. My editor at the time wanted me to draw a cartoon attacking the tow companies. I thought the towers were a bunch of vultures but at the same time I didn’t want to defend stupidity. My editor argued that the tourists, being from out of town, weren’t as aware of the danger of their vehicles being towed. I argued that they kinda had it coming. There were signs and the tourists were usually from a place like Fairfax, not Guatemala.

The comparison I found interesting is that the Spanish speaking immigrants were good with signs. Stuck up tourists from Northern Virginia, not so much.

The tourists who lost their child are from Nebraska. Would they have paid attention to a sign warning of alligators? Who knows. They don’t have alligators in Nebraska. Nebraska has corn and tornadoes. A Nebraskan might have heard about the danger of large lizards, but kinda shrug it off because who can actually fathom their child being grabbed by an alligator? Alligators are not a common hazard for them.

Louisiana and Florida each has over a million alligators. They’re a larger problem in Florida as that state has more people, more cities, more urban areas, more development, and more tourist attractions like Disney. Louisiana doesn’t have as much development where the alligators hang out. When tourists visit Louisiana they’re more likely visit New Orleans where you’re more likely to be snatched by a transvestite hooker than an alligator. Other dangers in The Big Easy are muggers, stabbers, and corrupt cops. You’d rather face an alligator.

Online couch sitting parenting experts are also saying that Disney should physically remove the alligators. Good luck with that. Male alligators are territorial and they like their own space. They will travel over 30 miles to find it. You can’t fence them out as they can actually climb fences. They’re not real smart (maybe sporting a higher IQ than tourists from Fairfax), but persistent. If Floridians can’t keep them out of their pools how can Disney be expected to keep them out of their lagoons? On top of all that, if an alligator is fed by a human just once, that alligator starts losing his fear of humans and starts associating them with snacks and the next thing you know, you lost a Schnauzer.

Even though alligators are extremely dangerous, it’s very unlikely to be attacked by one unless you’re a schnauzer (another stupid creature. I know. I had one. It once ate a paycheck which it found in the inside pocket of a jacket that was hanging up). Humans are more of a threat to them and probably not as tasty as a schnauzer.

More signs should be put up but honestly, there might be a better chance of the gators paying attention to them than the tourists.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Is That An Alligator In Your Pocket?

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I know. Go ahead and give it to me. This is very insensitive and has poor timing. I’m not good with sensitive or sacred cows…or in this case, reptiles. At least I didn’t go with my first heartless idea which consisted of an alligator eating Mickey Mouse. Pissing off the NRA, Trump, and Republicans I’m good with. Disney on the other hand….ugh.

If there was a huge money-making alligator industry and rednecks used them to overcompensate for their tiny penises, there would be a trade organization buying off congressmen to make sure anyone could buy an alligator at any time.

Right now the Democrats in the U.S. Senate are conducting a filibuster to force the Republicans to schedule a vote on gun control. This has totally stopped all Senate business….which means it’s pretty much like any day in the Senate.

Republicans HATE to talk about gun control. The only issue they hate talking about more is Donald Trump. If you really wanna flummox a GOP office holder, ask him about Trump’s revolving position on guns.

Creative note: I’ve had a theme with alligators the past few days. Last week I drew Donald Trump with alligator arms (played that off a Geico commercial). Today I drew a commissioned cartoon with crocodiles for a brand new client that’s based outside the United States (Claytoonz is going international. You’ll see it Friday). Now today I drew this. I can’t help it. I like reptiles.

I really like reptiles. I once worked in the reptile house of a small zoo in northeast Louisiana in the late 1980’s. My favorite story from that brief adventure comes from the day we cleaned the alligator pool. I didn’t do any actual cleaning but it was my job to keep the gators and Alligator Snapping Turtles away from the cleaners. I was armed only with a stick. There were five gators in the tank. They were all under six feet long except for this one mother. Before we could drain the pool we had to get one gator out which we did with a lasso. That took several hours. Some genius designed the pool where the drain was in the deep end and had to be manually unplugged. Nobody likes diving with alligators.

The alligators cooperated for the most part. The turtles, not so much. In fact, the turtles concerned me a lot more than the gators.

A large chunk of my childhood was spent in Louisiana. When I was a kid my older sister and I swam in a bayou with them. As a teenager my buddies and I swam in the same water. We never had an issue. When I was around ten or eleven we actually had two pet baby alligators, which was and still is illegal. I didn’t know that at the time and thankfully, the statute of limitations has long passed. We only had them for about a week. They weren’t as cuddly as we thought they might be. I got bit a lot. They never bit my sister once.

I do feel really bad for the parents who lost a child this week in Orlando to an alligator attack. That city had one tragic week. Losing a child under any circumstance is a horrible thing to live with. I know. It’s something I’ve been very close to. I’m sure Disney will never make this family wait in line for Pirates Of The Caribbean ever again.

A lot of people are asking questions about the parents, just like when that Cincinnati gorilla thing happened. Thing is, things happen. This is a freak occurrence that’s a true tragedy. I don’t think there are any safety measures that can prevent something like this happening once in a million years, especially after you build tourist resorts on a swamp.

Before posting this I searched for hashtags and one of them is “Disney Gator” which sounds a lot happier than it really is.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!