Ron DeSantis

DeSantis Feeds The Children


cjones04152020

Will you die from the coronavirus? That may depend on whether your governor is a Democrat or a Republican.

To be fair, some Republican governors have responded to the coronavirus responsibly putting their constituents first. The governors of Ohio (Mike DeWine), Maryland(Larry Hogan), and Massachusetts (Charlie Baker) have treated this like the serious crisis it is and not as a partisan hoax created by China, Democrats, and Jim Acosta to destroy Donald Trump.

But it’s been governors like New York’s Andrew Cuomo, California’s Gavin Newsome, Washington’s Jay Inslee, Louisiana’s John Bel Edwards, and Michigan’s Gretchen Whitmer whose name Donald Trump can’t bother himself to learn, who has lead this nation through this crisis.

While Andrew Cuomo has been the leader for this entire nation, not just New York, delivering facts and blunt assessments of the crisis, Donald Trump has lied, vilified, and expressed more concern over his TV ratings and if he’s number one on Facebook.

Then, you have idiot Republican governors following Donald Trump’s lead. To be a leader of a state, you need to acquaint yourself with facts and not just propaganda, dogma, or partisan bullshit. In Governor Brian Kemp’s case, he waited two months before learning the fact that asymptomatic people can spread the disease which finally made him shut down Georgia. But another fact he’s had at least three years to learn is that DONALD TRUMP IS A LIAR AND AN IDIOT!!!

Sorry, I yelled.

Donald Trump is a liar, an idiot, and he doesn’t care about you or anything that isn’t Donald Trump.

But it may not matter what party your governor belongs to since there are open borders between states. People can travel to New York from Georgia, where idiot Kemp has reopened the beaches, and bring the virus with them while getting sand in your carpet (and it gets everywhere).

Instead of shutting his state down, the governor of Mississippi, Tate Reeves, decided all he had to do was pray that God would give Donald Trump wisdom. Again. Three years, fucko. No wisdom. There are some miracles God can’t perform. The governors in Texas, Arkansas, Alabama, and Missouri have responded similarly.

Which brings us to Florida…again.

Florida is one of the states hardest hit by the coronavirus, yet it took an extremely long time for Governor Ron DeSantis to shut the state down. He wouldn’t even shut down the beaches during spring break. Today, the churches are still open and God still hasn’t given Trump wisdom.

Florida is the third most populous state in the nation with 21 million people. DeSantis has proven he’s not up this moment in history. On Thursday, he said he’s considering reopening Florida’s schools. His reasoning? The coronavirus doesn’t affect kids.

He said, “This particular pandemic is one where I don’t think nationwide, there’s been a single fatality under 25. For whatever reason, it just doesn’t seem to threaten, you know, kids.”

And he backed it up with, “I think the data on that has been 100% consistent. I’ve not seen any deviation on that.”

As a governor of a state with 21 million people, he shouldn’t make statements like “I think the data has been 100% consistent” if he can’t say that with 100% accuracy. The thing is, the virus does infect kids.

The virus does kill kids. It HAS killed kids. DeSantis should know that. And even if it doesn’t kill them, they are carriers and can spread it to other people. In Florida, at least 1,200 cases have been in the 15-24 ranges.

Part of DeSantis’ strategy, or maybe his entire strategy, is to follow Trump on this. He said he based his decision to finally shut the state down on Trump’s somber “demeanor.” Again, he had three years to learn this (longer actually but I’m being generous and spotting him a few years for his disadvantage of being a Republican). Donald Trump lies and only thinks of Donald Trump. And, he tapes his hair to his head. What does that have to do with the coronavirus? Nothing but I like reminding you that he tapes his hair to his head.

So, it may not just be Republican governors who kill you. It may be a Republican president. By the time I’m done writing today’s blog, there may be more deaths from the coronavirus than lies from Donald Trump. That’s around 19,000 and it’s a huge number. And every day during his press conferences where he doesn’t provide anything new or substantial but talks for two hours about himself, both numbers grow (but his hair doesn’t).

If you live in Florida or any southern state with a Republican governor, I’m so sorry. And if you live in the United States of America, we’re all sorry.

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cjones04052020

The problem with electing a Trump cultist as your governor is that you’re stuck with a Trump cultist as your governor.

When Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was in Congress, he introduced legislation that required the Justice Department to report to Congress whenever any federal agency failed to enforce a law. This was in 2014 and a swipe at the Obama administration. It failed and he didn’t bother to reintroduce it during the Trump administration. I wonder why.

After Trump was in office and inflicting his corruption and con job on America, DeSantis voted in favor of a bill to strip all funding from the Mueller investigation. DeSantis adopted the Devin Nunes platform of protecting Donald Trump at all costs, no matter what he was accused of or how much evidence was apparent. For DeSantis, it’s Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. He was also a member of the Fucknut Caucus, but they prefer to call it the “Freedom” Caucus.

When DeSantis ran for governor, he was endorsed by Trump and based his campaign on being the most fucknutty of all the fucknut Republicans in the primary. He ran commercials where he was teaching his children to say, “Make America great again” and building a racist wall out of lego blocks. He dressed his infant in a MAGA jumper in these commercials (which, I am assuming, was soon full of shit). He read “Art of the Deal” to his kids to prevent them from becoming intelligent adults. When asked, he couldn’t find one issue where he disagreed with Donald Trump.

Donald Trump had become a kingmaker in conservative politics, changing the Republican Party into the Donald Trump cult, and DeSantis became further proof of that after he won the primary. His credentials didn’t matter on statewide topics. All that mattered was that he burrowed deep up Donald Trump’s ass. In fact, he’s burrowed so deep up that ass, he allowed Floridians to die.

Governor (sic) Ron DeSantis refused to issue a stay-at-home order as other governors in the nation have done. Florida isn’t like Nebraska, where there are only five cases of coronavirus (detected so far). Florida isn’t even in the middle of states with verified cases. DeSantis is governor of the state with the fifth most cases. There are nearly 8,000 cases at this time and 100 deaths. Florida is the third-most populous state in the nation and it’s a contender to lead in coronavirus deaths.

Despite the rise of cases in Florida and the rest of the nation, DeSantis refused to declare a state of emergency. While all the other states with high cases of the coronavirus were implementing lockdowns, Florida went to the beach. Literally.

He refused to shut down the state as spring breakers stormed the beaches. He refused to shut down the beaches. He refused to issue a stay-at-home order, like New York and my state of Virginia have done. Here in Virginia, we have around 1,500 cases (and 34 deaths) yet our governor has taken it more seriously than Florida. Maybe that’s one reason we have fewer cases.

Why didn’t Ron DeSantis act sooner? Because he’s a Trump cultist.

It’s bad enough regular morons live and breathe everything Donald Trump says and then end up dying because they ingested fish tank cleaner after Dear Leader said something about chloride beating the virus. But a governor shouldn’t put his entire state at risk because of the stupid shit that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth.

Ron DeSantis should be serving the people of Florida, not just the Trump cult less enough, one person. Of course, that one person is Donald Trump.

DeSantis finally issued a stay-at-home order. What took him so long? Donald Trump didn’t take the virus seriously so the governor of Florida didn’t take it seriously. This is not my viewpoint. DeSantis said so. He explained his order by saying, “”When you see the President up there and his demeanor the last couple of days, that’s not necessarily how he always is.” Usually, he’s just racist and stupid. Before the order, he said he was following the White House on how he should proceed with the state.

Donald Trump spent a month denying and downplaying the virus. Governors like DeSantis, like their Dear Leader, put their citizens’ lives in danger.

Donald Trump boasted about banning travel from Europe…well most of Europe. He ignored the fact that people in the U.S. can cross state lines. So while one state has a lockdown, their neighbor may not. This doesn’t stop a virus. DeSantis has been unable to see that counties also have borders that people are free to cross.

The urban areas of Florida, where people tend to be more educated and less fucknutty, issued stay-at-home orders. But because their governor is in servitude to a fucking moron, he allowed the rest of the counties to carry on as if it was business as usual, thus infecting the entire state.

Florida isn’t the only state where the governor is willing to let his citizens die because of the way Donald Trump has behaved. Alabama, Texas, and Mississippi are still running wild. The governor of Mississippi’s biggest act to fight the virus is to pray for God to give Donald Trump intelligence. The governor of Mississippi does not have any intelligence.

Like Donald Trump isn’t qualified to handle a pandemic, neither is Ron DeSantis. The Florida Governor wants to be like Donald Trump. Congratulations, Ron. You suck just as much as Donald Trump. DeSantis, like Trump, was slow to react to the virus. He would rather serve the cult than serve his citizens. He would rather you die than upset Donald Trump.

Donald Trump has proven he shouldn’t be president and Ron DeSantis has proven he shouldn’t be Florida’s governor.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

MAGA Monkey


cjones09032018

As the Republican nominee for Florida’s governorship, Ron DeSantis links himself to Trump as proof of his qualifications for the job. Using his children in television spots, teaching them how to build a racist wall and to say “make America great again,” you get the impression he may not be qualified to be a father.

DeSantis gushed over being endorsed by Trump, as though God himself came down from Mount Sinai to christen him. DeSantis has used his position as a congressman defending Trump on Fox News and joining other sycophants in Congress putting Trump over country by trying to derail the Special Counsel’s investigation into Russian meddling.

As Trump’s apprentice, DeSantis has figured out the racist wolf whistle and how to double down when called on it. Within 12 hours of his primary victory, DeSantis went on Fox News and said voters shouldn’t “monkey this up” by voting for his black opponent, Democratic nominee Andrew Gillum.

Even Fox News felt the need to take the extraordinary measure of issuing a rebuke later in the day that they don’t condone DeSantis’ language. Being a Trump acolyte, DeSantis refused to apologize, even if he was misinterpreted, and his campaign simply stated it was “absurd” to consider it racist. Of course, Trump sycophants also have a difficult time identifying any racism from Trump.

DeSantis is also a moderator, along with racist Virginia Senate nominee Corey Stewart, of a racist Tea Party group on Facebook. Shortly before his announcement for the governor’s race, DeSantis accepted a paid trip to attend a conference of the David Horowitz Freedom Center in Palm Beach consisting of racist speakers, like Steve Bannon, Sebastian Gorka, and the founder of Proud Boys, Gavin McInnes. The Horowitz group and Proud Boys have been labeled as hate groups by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Running on a pro-Trump platform is now a requirement for Republican primaries, but it may cripple candidacies in general elections. Racism and a nationalistic platform don’t sell as well for the general public as it does Republican voters.

While Republicans say the Democrats’ only position is anti-Trump and will impeach if they gain control of Congress, a vote for the GOP is a vote against the rule of law, checks and balances, and democracy.

It’s not so much monkeys I’m worried about. It’s the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals.

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