Ron DeSantis

Cartoon Bully


Ron De Santis is a bully. Republicans LOVE bullies. It’s why they love Donald Trump so much. Republicans believe bullying people weaker than you is a sign of strength. It’s also why they love Putin. But, bullying is just like it was in school. The bullies are cowards. They only pick on whom they believe they can beat up.

Remember when Donald Trump tried to bully Nancy Pelosi? Remember him crawling up his own bunghole when they were in the same room together and then Pelosi walked out of the White House putting on her shades like a boss? Remember when Donald Trump shut down the government until Congress would fund his racist border wall? Remember when Pelosi kicked his ass so hard that he reopened the government and the great dealmaker walked away with less than he started with? Remember when he tried to bully Hillary Clinton at the debate and she called him “Putin’s puppet” and his only retort was that of a child, repeating her attack? Remember when the entire Republicans Party bullied Hillary Clinton on Benghazi, but she showed up for the hearing and answered questions for 11 hours without the GOP landing a finger on her?

Bullies eventually get what’s coming to them. Mickey Mouse is going to kick Ron DeSantis’ ass.

Republicans will believe that DeSantis beat up the mouse…while they’re paying higher taxes to cover the fees DeSantis and the Florida legislature saved Disney from paying. According to Florida law, the state has to pick up the tab on public debt before it can revoke a self-governing status as it did with Disney last week. The law doesn’t take effect for a year but if they don’t back down, dumbass DeSantis and the stupid Republican Party of Florida will cost the state’s taxpayers over a billion dollars. Remember when conservatives were supposed to be fiscal? They haven’t been fiscal since Eisenhower.

Obviously, Ron DeSantis isn’t actually doing anything to benefit Florida. All he’s doing is throwing red meat at the base. He’s lied and gaslighted over COVID, vaccines, and face masks. He’s bullied students for wearing face masks. He’s banning teachers from teaching kids about homosexuality and transgenders, a thing that’s not actually happening. He’s banned math books that he claims are anti-white (learn how to read the dog whistles). He’s even signed legislation making it legal to run over people protesting for Black Lives Matter. None of this helps Florida. What DeSantis is doing is building his profile to run for president. To do that, he’ll have to beat the fattest cartoon character of all time, Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is a cartoon. He’s fat and dumb like Homer. He paints himself like Crusty the Clown. His hair’s crazier than Marge Simpson’s. His fingers are tinier than Maggie Simpson’s. He’s as evil as Mr. Burns. And he eats more hamburgers than Wimpy while also wanting other people to pay for them (sorry, I lost The Simpons’ theme). He’s gropier than Pepe le Pew. And, he’s more racist than all those old Tom and Jerry cartoons (Mammy Two Shoes with her dice and straight razor). My biggest challenge with cartooning the guy was that he’s already a cartoon. Ron DeSantis is on his way to becoming one as well.

DeSantis became governor by joining the Trump cult. He promised his state he’d govern just as stupidly as Trump governed as president (sic). DeSantis kept his promise. In his campaign commercials, DeSantis was teaching his child how to “build the wall” with Legos. His message was: Vote for me. I’m a bad father teaching my child how to be a racist. Florida made him its governor.

As we’ve seen from Republicans, they’re worms. DeSantis used Trump to get what he wanted. Now that he has it, he’s going to turn on Trump. We have a few questions.

Who will attack who first? Trump will attack DeSantis as the governor becomes a larger threat. DeSantis will avoid going after Trump directly, then he’ll start to tip-toe around it until eventually, he opens fire and war is declared.

Who will voters choose? That depends on if you want the cult or the guy who was really effective with the stupid racist bullshit. Donald Trump never did build his wall. He never got Mexico to pay for it. He never truly got his ban on Muslims entering the nation. He never successfully “sent them back.” DeSantis has made it harder for black people to vote. He’s gerrymandered his state so Republicans may increase their congressional representation by at least four. DeSantis has enacted laws against gays, blacks, Hispanics, trans people, math books, COVID, and cartoon mice. He’s making Florida a place racists throughout the nation want to move to. Voters will see these as accomplishments. To dog whistle that you hate minorities is one thing. Putting the screws to them is another. DeSantis is more effective than Donald Trump. But, Donald Trump is a better salesman for the bullshit.

Who will win? Trump will be older and slower but he still has the base. DeSantis is probably quicker and lighter on his feet, though not by much. I believe DeSantis is smarter and more manipulative than Donald Trump, but he doesn’t have the gameshow host shine. DeSantis hasn’t spent the past 40 years marketing himself to stupid people. They’re both bullies and cowards so they may be afraid of each other once they’re in the same room. I want to hear your prediction and your reasonings for it.

Who do I predict to win? It’s hard to choose because it’ll be so much fun to see either one lose. Personally, I hope Trump wins as we know Biden can beat him as he’s already done it. I think DeSantis will be a much more difficult opponent because DeSantis can learn. Trump does not learn. I just hope that on the way to the general election, these two really beat the shit out of each other.

How much popcorn will we need for the fight? Lots. You may have to get one of those Amazon subscriptions for popcorn so you don’t even have to get out of your chair and it just keeps coming.

Music Note: B-52’s, but I never listen to “Love Shack.” I hate “Love Shack.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

DeSantis Death Disney


Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I’m sorry to have taken so long to blog this cartoon as it ran Sunday and it’s now Wednesday afternoon. But I have been busy. I have to pitch ideas for my next CNN cartoon tomorrow so let me go ahead and post this now.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Goofy Kills Mickey


Republicans have learned they can do pretty much whatever they want. No matter how devious and corrupt their actions are, Republicans can do it plain and clear in the open and get away with it. Ron DeSantis has learned from Donald Trump that if you’re the leader of your party, which he is in Florida (for now), the rest of his party will follow. No questions asked.

Florida Republicans sent a map of new congressional districts for Governor (sic) DeSantis to sign. He rejected it and made his own, eliminating two districts with black voting majorities, despite the state receiving two additional seats after the last census. DeSantis’ new map doesn’t just eliminate two black congressional seats but adds four new Republican seats. Florida’s Republican legislature was OK with DeSantis throwing out their map for his, and quickly approved it. Now DeSantis is going to sign the legislation he created. This is fascism.

Now, they’re attacking Disney for criticizing their “Don’t say gay” bill that bans teachers from discussing gay issues or sexual identification in schools. Disney criticized the bill, because it’s stupid and bigoted, and declared it will cease donating to political campaigns in the state. In retaliation, DeSantis and Florida Republicans voted yesterday to eliminate Disney’s self-governing status.

Florida created a law in 1967 giving The Walt Disney Company governmental control over the land in and around its central Florida theme parks. The special-purpose district gave Disney the responsibility for providing municipal services like power, water, roads, and fire protection, but freed the company from dealing with legal red tape or paying taxes for services that benefited the broader public.

Florida gave this special designation to Disney in exchange for the company making the state the base of Disney World and attracting millions of tourists. In 1967, Florida needed Disney more than Disney needed Florida. But as we’ve all come to learn, Republicans are backstabbers.

A self-governing status isn’t a privilege just for Disney in Florida. There are over 200 of these corporate self-governing districts in the state, like The Villages.

The Villages is a corporate-owned retirement community with a population of 80,000 angry Republican-voting seniors. Remember that video of an old fuck in a golf cart wearing pro-Trump gear and screaming “white power” at Black Lives Matter protesters in 2020? That was in The Villages. Donald Trump, who is the only president to visit The Villages twice, tweeted the video thanking The Villages. Anyway, The Villages, where old white people scream racist chants, votes overwhelmingly Republican. The vote for Trump over Biden in 2020 was over 70 percent in The Villages. So, you don’t see Republicans eliminating The Villages’ self-governing status, which makes it clear their vote against Disney’s status isn’t because they’re against self-governing districts.

This vote is merely about revenge and being butthurt. It’s obvious, it’s clear, and it’s out in the open. The only way not to see how petty and vile this action really is is by refusing to see it. They’re voting against a corporation that just said they’re not going to give the party and its candidates money anymore. This is fascism. This is a cult.

Republicans are forgetting that Disney helped build Florida. Their punishment of Disney is punishing the state, but Republicans will cut off their nose to spite their face. And, they don’t think long term. Case in point: Taking away this self-governing district will leave a debt hanging for taxpayers in Orange and Osceola counties to pick up, perhaps to the tune of over $2,000 per household. Remember, Republicans are supposed to be the party that cuts taxes.

Republicans voted to eliminate the self-governing district before working out all the details. They’re leaving that job for the next legislative session. Ever buy something with payments you can’t afford but think, “I’m sure I’ll figure out how to make those payments…which start next month. But look how shiny my new toy is.” That’s what Florida Republicans just did. Hitting Disney is the shiny toy they couldn’t wait to hit and show their base what they’ve done. It’s so shiny.

I’m curious if Florida’s increasingly right-leaning MAGA voters are going to look at their next tax bill and say, “I’m happy to pay this because Disney is a bunch of groomers.” Will they believe the principles of attacking a company just because they pissed off one man, Ron DeSantis, is worth them each paying over $2,000? I really don’t know because Florida Republicans are stupid. I’m sure DeSantis will find a way to blame that bill on Democrats, Disney, and pedophiles.

The legislation killing Disney’s self-governing status doesn’t mention Disney. It only designates the special districts created before 1968. Of course, there was only one special self-governing district in Florida before 1968.

Sometimes doing the right thing is costly, like Disney taking a stand and speaking out against Republican homophobia. And other times, doing the wrong thing is very expensive. Except, it may not be expensive for Republicans…just the people who voted for them.

Music Note: While drawing today’s cartoon, I listened to the Four Seasons, Dion, Del Shannon, and The Drifters.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Woke Math


Some days, I just can’t make this shit up.

Florida banned teachers from discussing sexual orientation and gender identity. Then Florida banned abortion after 15 weeks, even in the case of rape or incest. Now, they’re banning woke math. Seriously.

Republicans really hate when you refer to the homophobic legislation as the “Don’t say gay” bill, but it’s not like they ever called the Affordable Healthcare Act by its rightful name. Republicans point out that the term “don’t say gay” isn’t in the legislation, but that’s what it amounts to. To prove it doesn’t say gay, goons will post this test from the legislation: Classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in kindergarten through grade 3 or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards.

That text screams “don’t say gay.” Now, if you disagree with this legislation that’s extremely ambiguous, its troglodyte supporters will accuse you of being a pedophile. Believing that children should be educated about people different than themselves and taught to accept them on their own terms doesn’t mean you’re a pedophile. Not wanting to raise a generation of goose-stepping Floridian bigots doesn’t make you a “groomer.” Florida Republicans are grooming the next generation to be haters. By the way, they’re OK if a teacher says “straight.”

Then, Ron DeSantis signed the new abortion ban that copies Mississippi’s abortion ban. The only things that should be copied from Mississippi are food, music, literature, and Marshall Ramsey’s sunny and positive attitude. He’s like Soup for Souls in jogging shorts (because he jogs). What you don’t copy from the state that just recently stopped flying the Confederate hater flag against its will is its legislation.

Florida House Representative Dana Trabulsy, a Republican, said she voted against the bill because she had an abortion years ago and is ashamed. But legal abortion didn’t make Rep. Trabulsy get an abortion. She chose to get the abortion. She had that right but now after she got to choose, she wants to take that right, that decision, away from other women. That’s a classic white Republican position. They can have it but you can’t. If you’re a woman in Florida, Republican Dana Trabulsy just took away your ability to make the decision she made.

She explained her vote to ban abortion in Florida with the statement, “This is the right to life and to give up life is unconscionable to me.” It wasn’t unconscionable to you when you wanted to exercise your “right” to abort a fetus, Rep. Hypocrite. And finding it “unconscionable” isn’t a legal argument against abortion. Abortion being a constitutional right doesn’t force you to have an abortion.

I find it unconscionable to put ketchup on a hot dog but I don’t think it should be illegal based on my morals and hot dog ethics. It’s not like I believe we should send people who desecrate perfectly good hot dogs with ketchup to a hidden island off the coast of Brunei for hot dog reeducation.
OK, I lied. I do think putting ketchup on a hot dog should be illegal and offenders proven guilty should be sent to an island off the coast of Brunei for hot dog reeducation.

What should be unconscionable to every Florida Republican is forcing a teenager to have her uncle’s baby…or her brother’s or her father’s. Now, they’re going to force poor women and girls to leave the state to exercise their constitutional rights…or force them to stay and have a baby. Perhaps the worst thing is that baby will have to grow up in backwater Florida and probably without the proper mustard/hot dog curriculum. The horror!

Now, Ron DeSantis is banning math. The Education Commissioner has banned 54 math books on the argument they will “indoctrinate” children. The banned books accounted for 71 percent of all math books for grades K-5. The Florida Department of Education said the books were rejected for not being “appropriately aligned” with Florida’s standards, as well as including prohibited topics and unsolicited strategies.

The department’s announcement said, “Florida Rejects Publishers’ Attempts to Indoctrinate Students.”

I know “indoctrinate” is a bad word, and using it without being specific is a great way to get dumbfucks riles up and outraged, but wouldn’t you want your kids “indoctrinated” to add and subtract, and not indoctrinated with putting ketchup on hot dogs? Nobody does that naturally. They were raised that way.

DeSantis said, “It seems that some publishers attempted to slap a coat of paint on an old house built on the foundation of Common Core, and indoctrinating concepts like race essentialism, especially, bizarrely, for elementary school students.” Maybe someone should slap…I better not finish that sentence.

And, what? “Race essentialism”? They are banning math books for containing what they’ve determined to be “Critical Race Theory.” Did the Department of Education provide any examples of CRT in Florida math books? No. But, fortunately for you, you have me here to speculate. Oh, good.

If Florida math books consist of math equations glazed with a touch of Critical Race Theory, I imagine the questions would go something like this:

Ken and Mark are hired for the same job on the same day. Ken and Mark have the exact same education and work experience. Ken and Mark are the exact same age. Ken’s new salary is $75,000 and Mark’s is $67,000. Ken is white and Mark is black. Thanks to America’s systemic racism, what is the percentage between both men’s salaries?

Another Critical Racy Theory question in the banned books might be this: If police shoot the same number of white people as they shoot black people, but black people only make up 13 percent of the U.S. population, what ratio is the discriminatory discrepancy? I’ll help you out. It’s 38 per million for blacks and 15 per million for whites.

Maybe a question for a future Florida math book can be: Suzy has two mommies. They live in a house they bought in Bradenton for $430,000. If the Bradenton real estate market increases by seven percent, how much will Suzy’s two mommies get for selling the house when they flee to a more enlightened state that doesn’t have a bigoted education system making Suzy feel ashamed for having two mommies? The answer is $461,100 and a mentally well-balanced Suzy who doesn’t grow up cutting herself in a closet.

Here’s another: If you’re a black person in Florida, how many whites screaming at you about Critical Race Theory does it take for you to say to yourself, “That’s some serious dog-whistling shit”?

And another: If you’re black, how many Karens saying they don’t believe white privilege is a thing does it take for you to roll your eyes so hard that you get a serious migraine?

Some questions may have to be simplified for Republicans. Let’s try one of those: If Jack has two daddies and they go to Disney World but are stopped by an angry mob who then murders one of Jack’s two daddies and feeds the corpse to alligators and manatees, how many daddies does Jack have left? It’s a trick question as a manatee would never eat one of Jack’s gay daddies because manatees aren’t hateful troglodyte homophobic Republicans. Did you know some manatees swim all the way to Cape Cod? Now we know why. Jack and his two daddies should probably move to Cape Cod as well.

Another simple one for Republicans: If Ron DeSantis and Donald Trump are in a boat off the coast of Mar-a-Lago, how many racist dumbasses are in that boat?

Another question with less math: If you live in Florida, WHY? For the love of God, why are you still in Florida? And, with Republicans all across the nation praising Ron DeSantis and saying, “Now that’s my kind of governor. Yee-Haw!,” there will be more MAGAt Yee-Haw fuckers moving to that state. Get out! Get out! Get the fuck out!

I’m a cartoonist. Cartoonists are notorious for being bad at math, but I can do simple multiplication.
For example: One racist dog-whistling homophobic governor plus one orange racist Ooomp-Loompa golf-ball stealing pussy-grabbing loser-president (sic) in Florida equals get the fuck out of Florida.

Personally, I’d rather live in a state where an apple and two bananas can get it on without being judged. Hold the ketchup.

Music note: I listened to a mix today while drawing this cartoon that included Sugar Ray, Incubus, and 311. I guess my player wanted me to listen to bands with DJs, which is something I’m not super fond of.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Florida is Bananas


One area Republicans should stay away from is schools. Why should the dumbest people placed into office by the dumbest, least informed, most-gaslighted, and gullible segment of society be making decisions on how our kids are educated? Are they trying to make our future leaders as stupid, racist, and hateful as they are? Oh, yeah.

After I sent this cartoon to my two proofers, one of them said, “This crop of GOP is way more reprehensible than any other.” That’s putting it lightly. This crop sucks and it’s getting worse. And it’s all Donald Trump’s fault.

When Ron DeSantis signed the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, he did it with Sharpies then held up the signed bill for everyone to see, as if he had just made his first big-boy poo-poo. Let’s hope by now, he’s learned how to wipe for himself.

DeSantis has done an amazing job of becoming Donald Trump. He’s signing pointless bigoted legislation. He’s fighting science. He’s screaming at children. He watched people die on his watch from COVID while he gaslighted. He’s trying to beat Donald Trump’s record of telling over 30,000 lies within four years. Now he’s threatening revenge on Disney for disagreeing with his hate and stupidity.

Disney is not in Florida because it loves Florida’s bigotry. The only reason Disney World is in Florida is because of the weather and low taxes. It’s the same reason old people retire in Florida…except a lot of them do come for the racism. Have you seen the video clips of the golf-cart codgers shouting “white power” in The Villages? Shouting “white power” isn’t even a dog whistle. Neither is “send them back.”

The legislation Florida just made law is called the “Parental Rights in Education” law. It allows parents to limit just how much education public school teachers can give to children. It allows parents to sue schools for educating their children. Seriously. The morons are in charge. This is the “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

Supporters of the bill argue that “don’t say gay” isn’t anywhere in the bill. But ask them if that means a teacher can say “gay.”

Right-wing goon legislatures across the nation are enacting laws banning public schools from teaching Critical Race Theory, which no public schools in this nation are teaching. Politicians, like Virginia’s goon governor Glenn Youngkin, are winning elections based on this bullshit. Now other states are going to add homophobic laws to their racist laws. Campaigning on racism in America still works.

Basically, racists are passing racists laws preventing teachers from teaching that America is a racist nation. These laws, as well as the elections of DeSantis and Youngkin, are proof that America is a racist nation. Goons don’t get irony. But America has so much more to offer than just racism. We also excel at homophobia, Islamophobia, sexism, antisemitism, and crafting laws preventing people against these things from being elected to office.

Disney has a special status that allows it to operate as its own government around its theme park near Orlando. DeSantis is now talking about doing away with the status since they don’t like his homophobic law. I guess if Disney doesn’t use its special self-governing status to act like the White Citizen’s Council, they’re “woke.”

I seriously think the ringleaders of hate must have watched Disney’s updated “Cheaper By The Dozen,” which might be the wokest film ever made. I don’t like using the word “woke” by the way. Conservatives have taken it and turned into something disgusting and they use it so they don’t have to explain the specifics of why something or someone is bad. They can just say “woke” and it’s booga-booga-booga.

DeSantis said, “Disney has alienated a lot of people now. And so the political influence they’re used to wielding, I think has dissipated. And so the question is, why would you want to have special privileges in the law at all? And I don’t think that that we should.” It’s a bit of a word salad, but he’s talking about punishing corporations for disagreeing with him. How Trumpian.

Fox News goonette Laura Ingraham said corporations that contribute money to campaign against goon legislation should “stay in their lanes.” But why is it not their lanes to be involved in but it’s hers? Conservatives believe when it comes to campaign donations, corporations are people but they’re not citizens who deserve a voice when they disagree with them.

This morning, Maryland Governor Larry Hogan, who is a Republican, called DeSantis out.

Hogan said to Dana Bash on CNN, “DeSantis is always talking about, that he was not demanding businesses do things but he was telling the cruise lines what they had to do, he was telling schools what they had to do. Mandating! And now wants to criticize Disney for expressing how they feel about the bill.

“I mean, they have every right to. We have a thing called freedom of speech. They can come out and say what they think. I think the bill was kind of absurd and not something that would have happened in our state.” His state is Maryland where a DeSantis/Youngkin type of Republican would never be elected.

Goons scream about “cancel culture” and their freedom of speech being taken away, while canceling and punishing freedom of speech. Goons don’t get irony. They also don’t get hypocrisy as they all griped about Dr. Fauci and Biden shutting down businesses yet there’s DeSantis telling businesses what to do, like cruise ships can’t ban unvaccinated people.

Maybe Florida will eventually legislate the shape of food. Florida could outlaw bananas, squash, cucumbers, hot dogs, plantains, carrots, pickles, eggplants, and… Wait? Eggplants? Someone wrote eggplants on Facebook in regards to this cartoon. If your thingy is purple and shaped like an eggplant, see a doctor.

Unfortunately for Florida, the entire state looks like a Republican penis. Limp. It’s unfortunate that it can’t be shaped like one of those neutral-gender shaped states like Kansas, Wyoming, Colorado, or one of the Dakotas. But there’s good news on this front. Soon, because Florida isn’t doing anything about climate change, Florida will no longer look like a sad GOP ding-dong in the future because it won’t have any shape. It’ll be nothing but Alabama and Georgia’s sack. How appropriate.

Music note: I listened to Oasis (not “Wonderwall”) and Outkast while drawing this. I was in the O’s in my music player’s library.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Don’t Say “Boom”


Is it a coincidence that Vladimir Putin and Ron DeSantis are both homophobes?

The president of Russia claims there are no homosexuals in his nation. Ron DeSantis started a war against the LGBTQ and education community long before Russia invaded Ukraine.

After attacking educators over face mask mandates and saying parents should make those decisions, Ron DeSantis attacked kids whose parents had made the decision for them to wear face masks. Now, DeSantis is expected to take the hand that pointed that bony finger at those kids, and sign into law the “Parental Rights in Education” bill, which is more commonly known as the “Don’t Say ‘Gay”” bill. Basically, the bill is giving rights to pick on gay and trans children. Republicans are sweethearts.

While Vladimir Putin is literally killing children in hospitals, apartments, schools, theaters, etc, from the bombs he drops in what amounts to war crimes, Ron DeSantis is also attacking children for his own selfish political benefits. Conservative parents sure do love picking on children who look different whether they’re gay or non-white.

Look at what conservatives have done with anti-Critical Race Theory laws. They don’t change anything but they sure do make racists feel warm and squishy inside. These types of legislations are presented from the standpoint that conservatives are the victims.

If you teach that slavery was a bad thing, or that it even happened, then you’re making white conservatives feel bad about being white, or at least, that’s what you’re trying to do. This nation enslaved black people for over 200 years but talking about it now makes white people feel bad. If you mention anything about gender identity or sexual orientation, then a formerly straight third-grader may return home singing Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana.” We can’t have that. Pound your fist on your desk and say it with me, “WE CAN’T HAVE THAT!” Once that gay earworm gets in your head, there’s no coming back.

These Republican arguments make as much sense as Putin’s that he’s invading Ukraine to denazify it. Sure, there are Nazis in Ukraine, but there were probably more Nazis attacking the Capitol for Donald Trump on January 6, 2021. Can’t we denazify Mar-a-Lago?

I’m pretty sure nobody is teaching elementary students in Florida about gay sex, straight sex, or any sex. But being gay is something that should be acknowledged, and goddammit, normalized. The greatest fear of Republicans is that we’ll remove the stigmatization of being LGBTQ, and then a day will come where kids won’t be bullied for it anymore. Oh, the horror. How will future jocks who are unable to come to terms with their own confusing homosexual feelings supposed to cope if they can’t give gay kids swirlies? In case you’re a Republican, a swirlie is when you take a gay kid’s head and a toilet…oh, you already know what this is.

Ron DeSantis and Florida Republicans aren’t protecting children. They’re protecting their own hate.

Whether the wars are cultural or literal, Republicans, Ron DeSantis, and Vladimir Putin should leave children out of it. And personally, I’d be more than happy to give Ron DeSantis a swirlie.

Music Note: I didn’t listen to any music while drawing this cartoon as I was/am in a rush. But, I did add The Hives’ “Tick Tick Boom” to the 30-second TikTok video of this being drawn.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

DeDumbass Bully


Can Republicans take a day off from their race to the bottom?

We get the psycho troglodyte twins, Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene, heckling during the State of the Union on one day. And then in the same week, we get the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, bullying kids.

At a press event at the University of South Florida in an area where the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention still recommends indoor masking due to high COVID-19 risk, DeSantis bullied high school students for wearing face masks, calling it “political theater.” I think that’s a Rand Paul talking point.

As soon as DeSantis got to the stage to give his little speech, he turned to the students who were set up as props behind him and said, “You do not have to wear those masks. I mean, please take them off. Honestly, it’s not doing anything. We’ve got to stop with this COVID theater. So if you wanna wear it, fine, but this is ridiculous.”

A few of the students slowly removed their masks with a couple of them saying they only did so out of pressure from the governor. Some of the students left their masks on.

Remember when these goons were arguing that face masks should be a choice? People like DeSantis and Virginia’s new goon governor put in regulations banning public schools from enacting face-mask mandates. They argued that children wearing face masks should be a decision left to parents. But now, we see from Ron DeSantis that it should be a parental choice only when the parents decide on what he wants. If you choose for your children to wear a face mask, Ron DeSantis will bully them.

They used to whine about being forced to wear face masks but now, they’re bullying other people for wearing face masks. When they tell us something should be a choice, they’re just talking about it being their choice. Republicans believe in choice just as long as they’re the only ones choosing. They want to make all your choices for you.

One student said, “I was a little bit surprised at his tone,” and chose to leave his mask on because there were many unmasked people around and he was wary of getting COVID-19. The kid’s father later said that he’d advise Ron DeSantis to “stop bullying kids.”

The father also said, “I tell him it’s his choice, so he made that choice and the governor has no right to tell no kid or no one who they can or can’t wear a mask. He doesn’t have that right.” Didn’t DeSantis use to make that argument about mandates?

Now, Ron DeSantis is fundraising off it. He sent an email to supporters that said, “Predictably, the leftist propagandists in our media had a meltdown and called me a ‘bully’ for allowing children to breathe fresh air.” Predictably, a Republican bullies children then claim he’s the victim. Snowflakes.

Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried, a Democrat running against DeSantis for governor, tweeted, “Ron doesn’t realize it’s not about the masks, it’s about him being an asshole.”

Isn’t that the case with all Republicans now? It’s about being an asshole? For them, that’s the entire point. Which Republican can be the biggest asshole? And then, let’s run on it. Have you ever seen footage of a Trump rally where there’s an entire auditorium cheering on racism and chanting “send them back?”
Let’s bully students. Let’s bully teachers. Let’s bully minorities. Let’s bully the LGBTQ community.

In Florida, where they made it legal to run over Black Lives Matter protesters, there is a new bill that says educators “may not encourage discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity in primary grade levels or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students.” The bill doesn’t state at what age or grade is appropriate for these subjects but I’m guessing it’s never. What happens if an educator teaches gay black history? Will that teacher be shot at dawn or does Florida prefer gallows?

In Florida, it will soon be illegal for a teacher to tell a student they shouldn’t be ashamed for who they are.

There was a statewide student walkout on Thursday protesting this homophobic bigoted legislation and one student in Palm Coast was suspended for handing out pride flags. Apparently, you can’t protest fascism in Russia or Florida.

Don’t vote for bullies and assholes. That means don’t vote for Republicans.

Music Note: Today’s tooning tunes were off the Foo Fighter’s last great album, “Wasting Light.” After that, they kinda turned into the Fray.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Florida Taliban


Cjones08152021

Right-wing extremists are encroaching upon innocent victims and insisting they be controlled by their fundamentalists dogma. These extremists are religious nut jobs who abandoned facts and science a long time ago in favor of cultist beliefs. Their outdated culture is used to oppress women and threatens the lives of millions. For these extreme conservatives, their anti-science cult leaders are the heroes and the villains are scientists, doctors, nurses, and educators. The government is being taken over by these racist fundamentalists who have no tolerance for diversity. Many have given up on the area and the innocent and enlightened are encouraged to take their families and flee for their lives before it’s too late.

Yes, my friends…Florida is a lost cause. I also hear Afghanistan is pretty bad.

The Taliban is on the verge of retaking Afghanistan after losing near-complete control two decades ago. A lot of people are blaming President Joe Biden for this as he evacuated all military personnel. But I think this validates the president pulling our troops out. If the government of Afghanistan can’t maintain control of its country after being propped up by the U.S. military for over two decades, then they never will. the only way for us to keep the Taliban from retaking Afghanistan would be for us to be there forever. If anything, we have wasted two decades and according to the Pentagon’s latest numbers, over $815 billion on the war in that nation. Other institutions have that number over $900 billion.

I feel bad for everyone in Afghanistan who’s not a fundamentalist whack job that bans women from schools and blows up statues, but instead of spending $900 billion on a lost cause in Afghanistan, we could have spent that money at home. We could have given everyone a free college education, healthcare, fixed our infrastructure, brought broadband to Arkansas, or at the very least, had taken everyone to Arby’s at least 12 times. Disclaimer: Cartoonists are notoriously bad at math and I’m just guessing at these figures. But I don’t need to be a mathamawhatchmacallit to know we could have funded a lot of cool shit and still gone to Arby’s with $900 billion.

Not only should we give up on Afghanistan, we should also give up on Florida.

Even without the right-wing fundamentalists taking everything over, Florida’s always been a little messed up. Remember the entire hanging chad thing in 2000 when Florida’s election for president was stolen from Al Gore and given to George W. Bush? And then Bush started two wars with one of them being in…wait for it…Afghanistan. So in a way, our two decades war in Afghanistan is kind of Florida’s fault. Thanks, Florida.

We we had high hopes for Florida. President Obama won it twice. We thought Hillary Clinton would win it in 2016 but surprise, Trump took it. I was like, “Whaaaaaa’at?” Then, we thought Andrew Gillum would win the governorship but instead, Florida gave it to guy who ran commercials showing him teaching his daughter how to build a racist border wall out of Legos. Florida let Rick Scott, Voldemort’s doppelganger, go from being its idiotic and hateful governor to being one of its idiotic and hateful senators. The other Senator is Marco Rubio. One of its congressmen is Matt Gaetz, a right-wing Trump cultist idiot who is under investigation for being a pedophile. Then, Florida voted again for Donald Trump.

The most shocking thing about Florida is that Rand Paul and Ted Cruz aren’t from there.

Now, with the Delta Variant proving it’s a really bad idea not to be vaccinated, Ron DeSantis, the racist Lego guy, is trying to prevent schools from mandating face masks.

Also, Florida is full of flying buzzy stingy things, other creatures that crawl and slither and should be in places like Burma instead of the United States, it’s nearly impossible to go through the day without walking into at least one spider web, backyard swimming pools have a 70/30 human to alligator ratio, it’s really sticky, and if you go to the beach, the sand just gets everywhere.

Florida is so toxic that if Dwayne the Rock Johnson was to film one of his crappy movies where he’s wearing a ridiculous hat while he and his muscles are braving the Florida swamps…they’d probably film it in Atlanta. Seriously, everything is being made in Atlanta now, and that stupid hat on The Rock alone is stopping me from seeing Disney’s “Jungle Cruise.” Besides, I already saw “The Mummy.”

Then there’s Florida Man. Who’s Florida Man? Florida Man is a Floridian who does shit like…

Throwing an alligator through a Wendy’s drive-thru window. This is really messed up because you should never drive without putting a seatbelt on your gator.

When Hurricane Irma was hitting Florida, thousands of Florida Mans went outside…to shoot at the hurricane. Why didn’t they just throw alligators at it?

Florida Man decided that when he left a hospital, he should do so by stealing an ambulance.

Florida Man broke into a jail to hang out with his friends. He was lonely. I kinda expect this to happen a lot after Donald Trump is arrested.

Florida Man robbed a Game Stop while wearing a bag on his head…a transparent bag.

Florida Man paints anti-Hillary messages on Tampa Bay crabs. It was probably Matt Gaetz.

Florida Man stole a car while a monkey was clinging to his chest. No word if there was an alligator in the car.

Florida Man steals peacocks.

Florida Man kills a goat and drinks its blood for a Pagan sacrifice…and then runs for the Senate. Shockingly, it was NOT Rick Scott. Also, Paganism is still behind Trumpism for Florida’s favorite cult.

Florida Man tries to burn down his former lover’s house with pasta sauce…while disguised as a bull. That’s actually smart because the costume will throw investigators off. Bulls are well-known for their dislike of pasta.

Florida Man stole a BMW after failing to purchase it with food stamps.

Florida Man practices karate on swans. The swans won.

Florida Man was kicked out of a Trump rally for wearing a fake penis on his head. Only real penises are allowed on heads at Florida Trump rallies. They did let him back in when they realized it was Eric Trump.

Florida Man gets arrested for riding manatees. “Riding” is a euphemism here and it was Matt Gaetz.

Florida Man steals bees.

At another Wendy’s (or maybe the same Wendy’s), Florida Man climbs to the roof in his underwear to yell at traffic.

Another Florida Man smuggled another alligator, a dead one this time, in his car. Do all Florida cars have a 70/30 human to alligator ratio?

Florida Man keeps a dozen stolen zoo animals in his apartment. No word on how many were alligators.

Florida Man tries to walk out of Walmart with over $170 worth of steak and lobster in his pants. At least they weren’t alligators.

Florida Man beats a drag queen with a tiki torch while dressed as Klansman…then runs for mayor. How do they know he wasn’t a Klansman? Also, I’m predicting he ran as a Republican.

Florida Man breaks into a delivery room where his ex is giving birth and starts a fight with her boyfriend.

Florida Man calls 911 to talk about Hitler. Was the call coming from Mar-a-Lago?

And finally, Florida Man screams from a shitty golf course that he won an election he lost and will eventually be reinstated. Next, he’ll climb on top of a Wendy’s with an alligator to scream at traffic about the stolen election. I’m calling it.

I have two clients in Florida (I had more before the pandemic). One of the editors told me I should move to Florida because I would have a Florida topic every day. I could probably support myself just by syndicating to Florida news outlets. But then I look at Florida…and yeah, no. I would really enjoy cartooning Florida but I don’t think I could deal with living there. I know I don’t want to. Honestly, I could probably maybe handle the lunacy, but I can’t handle that kind of heat anymore. And it’s sticky. I hate sticky almost as much as bulls hate pasta.

Ron DeSantis and his fellow right-wing extremists, his Florida Taliban, are intent on destroying Florida. Maybe it’s time we gave up on Florida. The only question is: Where do we resettle all the refugees?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

DeathSantis


Cjones08112021

Remember that time I wrote I would try not to use the Angel of Death for Ron DeSantis in my next cartoon? You know…yesterday. I failed.

I had another idea but then I got this one. I thought instead of avoiding what has now become a cliché, take that cliché, the Grim Reaper, and make it part of the point of the cartoon. The point here isn’t just to make fun of other cartoonists for using the same concept over and over (and that’s part of it), but that if so many are using it, then there must be something to it.

There is something to it. Ron DeSantis, that Florida Man governor, is ignoring science for a cheap political payoff. This guy will endanger the lives of Floridians, through children, for his own political gain. Ron DeSantis is not just running for reelection for governor…he’s running for president. And the scary thing is, it works in Florida.

The risk to children is not as great as it is to adults. Out of the over 600,000 who have been killed by covid in the United States, only a little over 400 have been children. One avoidable death of a child is too many, but less than one percent is a very low rate. But, the risk to children is rising with the Delta Variant…which can now be called the DeSantis Variant.

It’s not just death that’s a tragedy when it involves a child. Hospitalization of a child is a tragedy, and those are increasing…especially in Florida. This isn’t just a risk to children. There is a danger that infected children will give the coronavirus to more vulnerable adults.

One thing that could help with all this would be if Donald Trump made a public service announcement for vaccines. The entire messaging from the right would change overnight. Sure, they’d claim they always championed vaccines and gaslight the hell out of it, but if it saves lives, so be it. If more adults are vaccinated, it will definitely help prevent the virus being transmitted to children under the age of 12 who can’t be vaccinated.

Right now, Ron DeSantis isn’t banning face masks in schools. What he is banning are schools mandating face masks. Do you remember when Republicans used to claim they were about local governments. Remember when they were against big government making decisions for local boards? With this, Ron DeSantis is taking control away from local school boards. He’s being big government while claiming he’s protecting Florida from big government. This is standard Republican logic.

Ron DeSantis says parents should have the freedom to decide if their kids will wear face masks. Ignoring science, he’s decided that parents have the freedom to decide if their kids can kill other people’s kids.

Ron DeSantis claims he’s standing in big government’s way to protect freedom…so he’s standing in local government’s way. Ron DeSantis is no champion of freedom and he’s no angel. But he is the Grim Reaper.

Update: I’ve been asked on my blog, Facebook, Twitter, FB Messenger, and in email so I should just come clean about it now. I DO NOT own a pair of pink bunny slippers. Sorry.

Creative note: Even though I draw my cartoons on a tablet, I will usually make my cartoonists in cartoons drawing on paper on a drafting table. But I decided to make this one more realistic to my situation, despite not actually owning pink bunny slippers. My table looks kinda like this, I have a CNN coffee mug, there is not a tree outside my window (it’s a roof of a Tex-Mex restaurant), and there aren’t pizza boxes laying around my studio. The last time I got Pizza Hut, which I normally like, I could only eat half of it. It was gross. There is a lot of other stuff on my table.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

DeSantis Freedom


CNN08082021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

Heads-up: There are probably more Ron DeSantis cartoons coming from me this week. I’ll try to avoid using “Death Santis” or drawing him as the Grim Reaper as both have been used in a lot of other cartoons. Besides, I already drew him as the Grim Reaper this week. You just may not have found it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: