Florida

A Place For Mom


cjones09172017

I’m probably gonna get a letter for this cartoon.

This week, eight residents of a single Florida nursing home that had its power knocked out by Hurricane Irma died within hours of each other. Florida is not a place where you want to live without air conditioning, even if you’re young and healthy, and definitely not if you’re an elderly person.

People are rightly outraged and demanding investigations into the matter. Why didn’t the nursing home have a generator? Why weren’t the residents evacuated to the hospital right down the street, which did have air conditioning?

Florida Power & Light (FPL), along with the state government, identifies key facilities where it must keep the power running at all costs. On that list are hospitals, police and fire stations, communication facilities, water treatment plants, transportation providers, and shelters. Not on the list, nursing homes. There are over 200,000 nursing homes in Florida, a state where people go to retire. Can FPL cover that many facilities? Doubtful. Shouldn’t generators and other precautions be mandated by law for nursing homes?

People die in nursing homes. But, adult children don’t put their parents into nursing homes so the facility can kill them. Why didn’t the staff recognize the danger or monitor the residents? There must have been signs and symptoms that they were in danger. Our seniors deserve dignity, even in death.

Federal funds cover the majority of the nation’s nursing home costs. We need to consider additional costs for nursing homes in climates, such as Florida, that is actually dangerous to senior citizens.

Creative note: I had three ideas on three different subjects. Two of which were much more humorous than this cartoon (which I know isn’t saying a lot) and probably had decent potential to get a national reprint. If I wanted to shoot for the big reprint (and pay), then this morning was the deadline. Of course, I went and did the morbid cartoon.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Looting And Gouging


cjones09132017

Along with the scattered reports of looting throughout the state of Florida, there have been over 8,000 complaints of price gouging during and after Hurricane Irma.

The complaints have been over water, ice, food, and fuel, but there have also been accusations of airlines, hotels, and even Disney hiking prices. Mickey isn’t a mouse, he’s a rat.

There were reports of gas being as high as eight bucks a gallon in Texas after Hurricane Harvey and up to $7.00 in Florida. There were additional reports of a case of water being sold for $99.00.

Some people, we’ll call them “assholes,” defend price gouging. They say it restricts people to purchase just what they need, thus leaving essential supplies for other people. There are also arguments that without price gouging then entrepreneurs and business people wouldn’t have any incentive to sell supplies during a hurricane.

One of the jerks at the Daily Caller, a website that caters to conservative assholes, was defending the hiking of airline prices. The jerk wrote, “Let’s accept that the lives of wealthier Floridians are neither more nor less valuable than any others. Indeed, Hurricane Irma is not the Titanic. But the evacuation of the largest number of Irma refugees is more important than ensuring that everyone has an equal chance at escape – not only to maximize immediate rescue but because minimizing the number of people remaining after the storm greatly eases the clean-up effort.

And if the goal is to facilitate the escape of the highest number, airlines need not apologize for raising prices, even sky-high.

It’s true that some Americans (mostly Democrats) value equality more than human flourishing, but their position is reprehensible. The goal should get the most people out of harm’s way, and if that means a greater percentage of them are wealthy, so be it.”

Only a Republican could write that shit. That guy would have been great at selecting people for the Titanic’s lifeboats. I don’t know if I’m more disgusted by his comments, or that I had to click on a link to the Daily Caller.

I am a bleeding-heart liberal and I can be naive about some things. For instance, I believe that corporate America should practice being good Americans and community citizens, and focus on saving lives instead of profits during a disaster. What a foolish and silly concept.

In the early 1990s, I was in an ice storm in Mississippi. Ice storms suck and Mississippi is the last state that can handle an ice storm. I had a neighbor who I had never spoken with. I was not interested in getting to know the guy, and he probably felt the same about me. I just didn’t have a reason until the ice storm. Do you know when you finally talk to that neighbor you never had any plans of ever talking to? When his tree has fallen across your driveway. We not only talked, but we chainsawed that shit together and got it out of my driveway. He was very nice about it, though of course, it was his tree.

That’s what neighbors do. They help during disasters. I’m sure if it wasn’t his tree that he still would have helped removed it. Corporate America, airlines, hotels, 7-11, and Disneyland need to stop being dicks and assholes and try to be good neighbors.

And whatever you don’t. don’t go to the Daily Caller. It’s like Breitbart Lite. It’s got all the stupid and lies, but only half the racism.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Rushnado


cjones09102017

Al Franken published a book in the 1990s before he became a United States Senator titled “Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot.” I’ll give that title a “ditto.”

Limbaugh is well-known for being a provocative flame thrower and pusher of absurdity in his attempts to take down liberalism. But, he’s gone beyond just being a national jerk throughout his career. Limbaugh was fake news before “fake news” was a term. Before the Donald Trump era, we just referred to what Limbaugh did as “bullshit.”

A couple days ago, Limbaugh floated the theory that hurricanes are hyped by the media to “advance this climate change agenda.” Limbaugh believes hurricanes are never as bad as predicted and that the media is only providing non-stop coverage to scare you into purchasing bottles of water and other supplies from local retailers. Limbaugh said there was a “symbiotic relationship between retailers and local media, and it’s related to money.”

On his show, Limbaugh said “The local media … reports in such a way as to create the panic way far out, which sends people into these stores to fill up with water and to fill up with batteries, and it becomes a never-ending repeated cycle,” he said. “And the two coexist. So the media benefits with the panic with increased eyeballs, and the retailers benefit from the panic with increased sales, and the TV companies benefit because they’re getting advertising dollars from the businesses that are seeing all this attention from customers.”

I made a post on social media about Limbaugh’s stupid comment, but I didn’t plan to draw a cartoon on it. And then, Limbaugh announced he’s evacuating Florida. Rush said, “May as well announce this. I’m not going to get into details because of the security nature of things, but it turns out that we will not be able to do the program here tomorrow,” he said on his Thursday radio show. “We’ll be on the air next week, folks, from parts unknown.”

I don’t know what unknown parts Rush will be airing his show from, but I’m pretty sure his head will be in its usual location, which is up his lying ass.

Rush has put his idiotic viewers’, who he refers to as “dittoheads,” lives in danger. Rush doesn’t want them to trust meteorologists and other scientists, even if they’re in danger…but Rush will ignore his own advice and yank his fat ass out of his Palm Beach home. Rush’s disregard for his listeners illustrates just how important they are to him.

I have a theory about advertisers. Every company that advertises on Rush’s show has supported him calling women “feminazis,” “sluts,” and “prostitutes.” Now, they’re financially supporting his putting lives in danger. Maybe, they shouldn’t be pulling their support because Rush is a disgusting, racist, misogynistic, crude, asshole who lies a lot. They should pull their advertising because he’s a public safety hazard.

When Rush Limbaugh tells his viewers not to sweat a category five hurricane, he is putting their lives in danger. If you listen to Rush, tell me if Katrina, Sandy, and Harvey weren’t as bad as predicted…or if they were worse. Do you wanna gamble with your life on the science of a guy who doesn’t understand how ice melts?

Is Rush Limbaugh a big fat idiot? Ditto.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

It’s Raining Mayhem


cjones09082017

I consider myself a well-read person. I read into every issue I cover, and I go down internet worm holes and read stuff that’s not important to anybody. I know stuff. But, there’s a lot of stuff I will never understand.

I don’t understand why now is the best time to revoke DACA, and threaten to deport around 800,000 young adults who were brought to this nation by no choice of their own when they were children. Trump says he only wants people who are educated, working, and can be a benefit to this nation…so why kick 800,000 people out who fit those guidelines? I guess I can understand it if the explanation is that Donald Trump is racist toward brown people. Even if he’s not, his base is racist.

I don’t understand why we’re talking about pumping billions into a useless wall on the border that can be circumvented by a $45 ladder when FEMA is about to run out of money from rebuilding American cities struck by two major hurricanes. I do understand that it’s feeding a racist base, but I don’t understand why anyone, even racists, support something so expensive and useless.

I don’t understand why we argue about the debt ceiling each time it comes up. It’s money that was already agreed upon. I do understand why Republicans wanted to use it to shut down the government during the Obama era, as they were just total obstructionist and hated everything connected to Obama. But why are they threatening a government shutdown while they have the House, Senate, and White House? Don’t Republicans understand they control the government? I do understand why Trump made the magic-bean deal with Democrats, and that’s because he’s not a great deal maker. It was great for Democrats and the nation, but not for Republicans. I think Trump made that deal because if the negotiations were to continue, trying to understand how the debt ceiling works would have confused and exposed him. That, or he was too busy ogling his daughter who had walked into the room. Ew.

I don’t understand people who still deny Climate Change. I understand why Republicans oppose it, as they’re funded by oil companies. I understand why conservative think tanks continue to claim it’s a hoax because they’re funded by oil companies. I do understand why Donald Trump believes it’s a hoax created by China, and that’s because he’s an idiot. An editor wrote me a couple days ago and said he’d never run my work because it’s so divisive. Yeah, OK. But I’m not so divisive that I made the weather and climate partisan issues.

I don’t understand why people listen to Rush Limbaugh. I actually worked with two, TWO, editorial writers at The Free Lance-Star who listened to Rush on a daily basis. The man proves time and time again that he’s an idiot, and he doesn’t understand how anything works in the real world. Yesterday, he told his listeners that these hurricanes are never as bad as advertised, and it’s a conspiracy between the media and advertisers who sell stuff during an impending disaster. I guess Rush didn’t watch any of the footage from Houston. Was Harvey not as bad as advertised? I thought it was actually worse.

Would Rush be pushing this theory if he was still hawking Florida orange juice? Years ago he briefly pitched the orange stuff until the company that hired him realized that most people hate Rush. Most would rather throw oranges at him than take his suggestions on what to drink.

The real danger with Rush is that there are idiots who will believe him. Rush may have put stupid people’s lives in danger. Now that I think about it, it might even out. The one question I want answered is; Will Rush evacuate his Palm Beach home, or will he sit on the beach screaming for Irma to bring it on? I challenge him to do a live show from his front porch during the hurricane. He should put his money where his fat-ass mouth is.

I don’t understand Florida. It’s a really weird place. I don’t understand why people retire to live among giant, flying, creepy, stingy, buzzy things. I don’t like bugs. Reptiles, I can deal with. Currently, there’s a really long fuzzy centipede thingy with antennas and a gazillion legs in my shower that someone needs to come over here and kill it for me.

I don’t understand why there’s only one road out of the Florida Keys. I realize it’s a very long road and it’s difficult to build bridges going over seven miles from island to island, but wouldn’t that be much easier logistically than wasting billions on a wall on the Mexican border that goes over mountains, deserts, rivers, and private property? Hurricane Andrew hit 25 years ago. Couldn’t there have been another road constructed in that time frame? Florida, stop electing Republicans who look like Voldemort.

What I don’t understand is why people are at the stores fighting over bottled water at this time. Their water at home has not been turned off yet. Are we such a spoiled, first-world nation that we’d rather punch a guy over a bottle of Dasani, Voss, or Fiji water than to drink out of the tap? By the way, your tap water’s PH level is around 8.0. Dasani is 4.5, Voss is 6.0, and Fiji is 7.5. That stuff from Walmart is 6.5. In a natural disaster, I think you’ll be OK if you drink from the tap for a few days.

Lastly, what I really don’t understand are Trump sycophants. I understand partisanship, spin, and even loyalty. What I don’t understand is tying your little row boat to a sinking yacht. Everyone has flaws and defects, but Trump is just one big defect. The man has proven he is not anything he’s boasted about himself. He doesn’t know more than the generals. He doesn’t understand how government works. He’s not a great deal maker. He doesn’t have the best brain. He doesn’t have the best words. He didn’t even write the book he brags about writing. If we attached a disaster rating system to human beings, Trump would be a category five.

I don’t understand people who believe Obama is a Muslim, but think Trump is a Christian. I get the worship of a cult of personality….but why of a personality that is so stupid? Some people don’t understand why Trump’s attack on veterans didn’t kill his campaign, or his mocking a handicapped reporter, or his “pussy grabbing,” or the racism, or the stupidity and the not knowing anything. For me, I don’t understand why the ridiculous hair didn’t kill the campaign. This man actually chooses to look the way he does. Would you vote for a guy who knew he had a booger hanging and didn’t do anything about it?

Even if you’re a racist, you’d think you’d find a much more competent racist to follow. There are plenty of racists out there who are able to hide it better and are not displaying it on Twitter on a daily basis. I don’t believe that everyone who voted and supports Trump is a racist. But, I don’t understand why racism is not a deal breaker for the rest of them.

Trump understands two things, and that’s marketing his name and his debt. But even the stuff he’s marketed has gone under. And understanding how to make other people pay for your debt doesn’t mean you understand the federal debt. We’re not gonna get Russian banks to finance the border wall. Quite frankly, I’d be surprised if Trump is capable of dressing himself and tying his shoes.

Regarding Irma: I have friends in Florida. If you’re down there, get out. I do hope the hurricane spares the state from the brunt of its devastation. And if you’re staying, you can drink the tap water. You’ll be fine.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Hypocrisy With One Hand


cjones06212017

Congressman and Miami Republican Cuban-American Mario Diaz-Balart said “You will never see this president doing the wave with a ruthless dictator at a baseball game,” as a comparison between Trump and Obama’s policies toward Cuba. While we may never see Trump doing the wave with a ruthless dictator, we have seen him do a sword dance with one.

The United States has always been hypocritical with its policy toward Cuba. From the 1950s to the 90s, we used Cuba’s association the Soviet Union as one of our reasons not to engage with the island nation diplomatically, despite our having diplomatic relations with the Soviet Union.

We cite Cuba’s oppression of dissidents, political parties, a free press, and a lack of free elections, while we carried on willy-nilly with the Soviet Union, China, and even Saddam Hussein’s Iraq until he invaded Kuwait. Today we don’t have a problem with monarchies in the Persian Gulf region, such as Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, which are both governed by Sharia Law (fun stuff like beheading, stoning, flogging, etc). While we discourage American tourists from visiting Cuba, we’re happy to send them to a land where they can literally have their heads chopped off.

While Trump was getting jiggy in Saudi Arabia, his sycophants were praising the fact there weren’t any protests against him there, where protests are outlawed. But hey, let’s give Cuba another lecture on allowing dissent.

And sure, Cuba isn’t an island paradise but like most things in reality, it’s not entirely good, bad, black, or white. While Cuba has a horrid human rights record, they also have a highly educated society with advanced healthcare for all.

Obama’s opening of relations with Cuba was far from perfect. Trump promised to roll back our diplomacy toward Cuba, and what he did Friday didn’t exactly do all of that. We still have an embassy there. Americans can still travel to Cuba, but with restrictions. Cuban-Americans can still send cash to relatives in Cuba. The nation remains off the list of state sponsors of terror.

The biggest change in policy is that Americans who travel to Cuba can not stay in a hotel, eat in a restaurant, or see a show that is majority owned by the government. They can only give their business to privately-owned enterprises and they must remain a part of tour groups. To maintain compliance, Americans must provide receipts of their expenses and diaries (dear diary, this sucked) to the U.S. Treasury Department. I’m not sure what the punishment will be if they disobey. Maybe they’ll be sent to Saudi Arabia for flogging.

Basically, if you want to travel to Cuba the easiest way will be on a cruise ship which will prevent you from actually seeing Cuba.

One big non-change is Obama’s policy to Cuban refugees. For decades, we had a “wet foot/dry foot” policy toward Cuban refugees. The policy allowed undocumented Cuban migrants who reached dry land to stay in the U.S. as legal residents. If you survived the ocean, dehydration, sunburn, heatstroke, the U.S. Coast Guard, and sharks, to reach a Florida beach, you could stay. Obama eliminated that policy and Trump hasn’t changed it (keeping with his policy of not liking brown people entering our nation).

Republicans cater to Cuban-Americans in Florida as they tend to vote heavily for the GOP. While Trump lost Miami-Dade County to Hillary Clinton by nearly 30%, he received almost 334,000 votes in the county, nearly all from Cuban-American Republicans, who account for 72 percent of the GOP rolls in Miami-Dade. Trump barely won Florida by 1.2%. For that, he can thank Cuban-Americans. Their reward is more talk than promises kept by Trump. Being that they are Trump-voting Republicans, they will fall for it.

The same Trump supporters who cheer his new policy toward the tyrants in Cuba also applaud his sword dance with Arab monarchies that deny women the right to vote and drive. While the King of Saudi Arabia holds Trump’s hand, Trump supporters ignore those he cuts off.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Gates In Florida


venice04082017

The Venice Gondolier Sun is a client of mine in Florida. Last week they asked me to tackle a local issue where gated communities are being built inside gated communities. Yeah, really. This cartoon ran in their Saturday edition.

The “mine” reminded me of the seagulls in Finding Nemo. I love those birds.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

 

Blame For A Hurricane


cjones10082016

While you can’t entirely blame Climate Change for natural disasters, there’s a lot more evidence for it being a cause than gay marriage.

Yes, there are right-wing nut jobs and religious zealots blaming gays for Hurricane Matthew. One contributor for a popular anti-gay website (I’m not going to promote here by posting their name) is blaming gay pride parades scheduled for Orlando and Savannah. Another preacher blamed gays in addition to President Obama and Mitt Romney for Hurricane Sandy. How did Mittens get in on this blame action? In 2013 a preacher blamed gay marriage for a tornado in Illinois. Hopefully, it won’t mean the end of times if the Cubs win the World Series. While God might hate Illinois gays, maybe he’s a Cubs fan.

Obama has been derided by conservatives for saying Climate Change is the greatest threat we face. Republicans wonder how can he blame something they don’t believe in while calling ISIS a “J.V. Team.” The J.V. comment might have been stupid but we’ll see how many Americans die from weather-related events than from ISIS.

Hurricane Matthew is serious business. The hurricane has weakened to a category 3 which can do serious damage. For comparison, Hurricane Andrew made landfall at category 5 in 1992. Hurricane Sandy and Katrina both made landfalls at category 3. Matthew, as Florida governor Rick Scott warned, “will kill you.”

Scott is a denialist on Climate Change and has attempted to ban state employees from using the term. But even he recognizes how dangerous Matthew is, even if he’s confused over science. Disney has closed their theme park in Orlando. Maybe Scott doesn’t believe in science but when that talking mouse freaked out he probably took notice.

I’m not trying to politicize this storm. If Climate Change is taken seriously then perhaps when storms like this develop in the future they won’t be as fatal or life-threatening. But it’s not liberals who are blaming Climate Change. It’s scientists. Real scientists and not the “skientists” who are paid off by oil companies and work for the Heartland Institution think tank.

The Drudge Report has politicized Matthew. While the National Hurricane Center was calling for “potentially disastrous impacts” in Florida, Drudge Report said the storm was “ragged” and suggested it could be fizzling. To make matters worse, Matt Drudge (the site’s owner) took to Twitter and accused the government of purposefully inflating Matthew’s intensity to send a message about climate change.

“The deplorables are starting to wonder if govt has been lying to them about Hurricane Matthew intensity to make exaggerated point on climate,” Drudge wrote.

What really sucks is that the Drudge Report has a wide audience of stupid people. I am a pacifist and I don’t want to see a bunch of conservative Floridians win Darwin Awards tomorrow and this weekend. Plus, when stupid people die they tend to take innocent people with them. Matt Drudge, who lives in Miami, should bear some responsibility and not give his readers advice that can kill them. If not, then he should take his own advice and plop himself in a beach chair on Daytona Beach.

His first daiquiri will be on me. I’ll make sure there’s a lid on it.

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