Poo-Flinging Caucus

Anytime I hear someone on a news show use an analogy or metaphor to describe an issue, that rules out my using the metaphor in a cartoon. During the Republican primaries in 2016, I may have been the only cartoonist in the country who didn’t draw a clown car. Chris Wallace used the term about 15 times a night, so I knew it was played out if that guy was using it.

“Clown car” has come back to describe Kevin McCarthy’s failed attempt (so far) to be Speaker of the House, losing six votes so far (as of this writing). Other terms being used and my ruling them out for a cartoon is “popcorn,” as in Democrats eating popcorn while watching the Republicans destroy themselves, and “Groundhog Day,” a reference to the movie as in the same day being repeated over and over. I’ve seen the popcorn metaphor in a cartoon and a few memes (which also rules it out for me) and I expect to see Groundhog Day in a cartoon before the day is out. It is too bad that Groundhog day is about a month away. Can you imagine how many of those we’d be seeing in relation to McCarthy if it wasn’t?

So, I try to avoid tropes used by the Talking Heads on TV because they are not the most original or insightful people talking about current events (Ironically, the band Talking Heads was very unique and original. Go figure). But, one analogy I haven’t heard them use yet is “poo-flinging monkeys.”

Since I can’t use “shit show,” I’m going with “poo-flinging monkeys.” I’ve actually used the term at least once before to describe members of the so-called Freedom Caucus.

Referring to the likes of Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, Paul Gosar, Andy Biggs, Bob Good, Scott Perry, Chip Roy, and Eli Crane (no goon squad is complete with a Chip and an Eli) as “poo-flinging monkeys” is fair, not that a political cartoonist has to be fair.

The reason it’s fair is that these poo-flinging monkeys don’t have a plan beyond preventing McCarthy from becoming Speaker. The evidence of that is one day they’re all voting for Jim Jordan and the next day they all voted for Byron Donalds. The only objective is to destroy, make a lot of noise, get a lot of attention, all while laughing maniacally.

In the “Dark Knight,” Batman is trying to figure out what the Joker wants. What’s his goal? What’s his objective? What makes the Joker tick? But Alfred pointed out that Bruce (spoiler alert: Bruce is Batman) has never dealt with a person like the Joker before because “some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

The Joker might be a psychopathic genius, but the poo-flingers in the House are just psychopathic. There was intelligence to the Joker. There’s nothing intelligent coming from Lauren Boebert or Matt Gaetz. Please.

The poo-flinging monkeys, who I think are being led by Matt Gaetz, which tells us everything we need to know about them, are not people to be reasoned with. You can’t negotiate with them and right now, Kevin McCarthy is trying to negotiate with terrorists.

The poo-flingers’ demands keep changing. And no, getting rid of the ethics watchdog in Congress isn’t a sticking point because all the Republicans want that gone. One of the stipulations the poo-fingers are demanding is that any one member at any time can call for the removal of the Speaker of the House. This is terrorism. That means that the Speaker, whoever that is, has to constantly live with the fear of being removed. There should be a higher standard to call for the Speaker’s removal, no matter who that Speaker is.

Another demand is personal and has nothing to do with House procedures. The poo-flingers are demanding that McCarthy, and probably the GOP establishment, stay out of Republican congressional primaries. Last year we saw panties-wearing goon Madison Cawthorn (who was almost as big of a liar as George Santos) defeated in a primary after the GOP establishment supported his opponent. The goons want more goons in the House.

The poo-flingers are not responsible people and if at least five of them stick to never voting for McCarthy, then McCarthy will never be Speaker of the House and these multiple attempts to elect him are a waste of time. As bad as the goons are, the entire GOP majority is a trainwreck waiting to happen…if it hasn’t already (see? Another metaphor. Quick, somebody draw a cliff!). Not only are repeated nominations of McCarthy a waste of time, negotiating with the poo-flingers is a waste of time.

The New York Times published a piece on how far right the poo-flingers are and 12 of the 20 are election deniers, believing Trump won. Most were endorsed by Trump. Nearly half objected to certifying the 2020 presidential election. Nearly half are from Arizona, Texas, and wait for it…Florida.

You can’t reason with people like Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, and Paul Gosar. It’s like negotiating with terrorists because as soon as you have a deal, they’ll hold you hostage again.

Some men, women, swamp things, and poo-flingers just want to watch the world burn.

Update on the Groundhog Day concept: Told ya. But then again, this is one the laziest in the business. Oh, and here’s a new clown car.

Music note: I listened to the Meat Puppets, Hüsker Dü, and the Screaming Trees

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 7 days left (I forgot to update this part over the past few days), so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

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