Poo-Flinging Monkey

Poo-Flinging Caucus

Anytime I hear someone on a news show use an analogy or metaphor to describe an issue, that rules out my using the metaphor in a cartoon. During the Republican primaries in 2016, I may have been the only cartoonist in the country who didn’t draw a clown car. Chris Wallace used the term about 15 times a night, so I knew it was played out if that guy was using it.

“Clown car” has come back to describe Kevin McCarthy’s failed attempt (so far) to be Speaker of the House, losing six votes so far (as of this writing). Other terms being used and my ruling them out for a cartoon is “popcorn,” as in Democrats eating popcorn while watching the Republicans destroy themselves, and “Groundhog Day,” a reference to the movie as in the same day being repeated over and over. I’ve seen the popcorn metaphor in a cartoon and a few memes (which also rules it out for me) and I expect to see Groundhog Day in a cartoon before the day is out. It is too bad that Groundhog day is about a month away. Can you imagine how many of those we’d be seeing in relation to McCarthy if it wasn’t?

So, I try to avoid tropes used by the Talking Heads on TV because they are not the most original or insightful people talking about current events (Ironically, the band Talking Heads was very unique and original. Go figure). But, one analogy I haven’t heard them use yet is “poo-flinging monkeys.”

Since I can’t use “shit show,” I’m going with “poo-flinging monkeys.” I’ve actually used the term at least once before to describe members of the so-called Freedom Caucus.

Referring to the likes of Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, Paul Gosar, Andy Biggs, Bob Good, Scott Perry, Chip Roy, and Eli Crane (no goon squad is complete with a Chip and an Eli) as “poo-flinging monkeys” is fair, not that a political cartoonist has to be fair.

The reason it’s fair is that these poo-flinging monkeys don’t have a plan beyond preventing McCarthy from becoming Speaker. The evidence of that is one day they’re all voting for Jim Jordan and the next day they all voted for Byron Donalds. The only objective is to destroy, make a lot of noise, get a lot of attention, all while laughing maniacally.

In the “Dark Knight,” Batman is trying to figure out what the Joker wants. What’s his goal? What’s his objective? What makes the Joker tick? But Alfred pointed out that Bruce (spoiler alert: Bruce is Batman) has never dealt with a person like the Joker before because “some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

The Joker might be a psychopathic genius, but the poo-flingers in the House are just psychopathic. There was intelligence to the Joker. There’s nothing intelligent coming from Lauren Boebert or Matt Gaetz. Please.

The poo-flinging monkeys, who I think are being led by Matt Gaetz, which tells us everything we need to know about them, are not people to be reasoned with. You can’t negotiate with them and right now, Kevin McCarthy is trying to negotiate with terrorists.

The poo-flingers’ demands keep changing. And no, getting rid of the ethics watchdog in Congress isn’t a sticking point because all the Republicans want that gone. One of the stipulations the poo-fingers are demanding is that any one member at any time can call for the removal of the Speaker of the House. This is terrorism. That means that the Speaker, whoever that is, has to constantly live with the fear of being removed. There should be a higher standard to call for the Speaker’s removal, no matter who that Speaker is.

Another demand is personal and has nothing to do with House procedures. The poo-flingers are demanding that McCarthy, and probably the GOP establishment, stay out of Republican congressional primaries. Last year we saw panties-wearing goon Madison Cawthorn (who was almost as big of a liar as George Santos) defeated in a primary after the GOP establishment supported his opponent. The goons want more goons in the House.

The poo-flingers are not responsible people and if at least five of them stick to never voting for McCarthy, then McCarthy will never be Speaker of the House and these multiple attempts to elect him are a waste of time. As bad as the goons are, the entire GOP majority is a trainwreck waiting to happen…if it hasn’t already (see? Another metaphor. Quick, somebody draw a cliff!). Not only are repeated nominations of McCarthy a waste of time, negotiating with the poo-flingers is a waste of time.

The New York Times published a piece on how far right the poo-flingers are and 12 of the 20 are election deniers, believing Trump won. Most were endorsed by Trump. Nearly half objected to certifying the 2020 presidential election. Nearly half are from Arizona, Texas, and wait for it…Florida.

You can’t reason with people like Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, and Paul Gosar. It’s like negotiating with terrorists because as soon as you have a deal, they’ll hold you hostage again.

Some men, women, swamp things, and poo-flingers just want to watch the world burn.

Update on the Groundhog Day concept: Told ya. But then again, this is one the laziest in the business. Oh, and here’s a new clown car.

Music note: I listened to the Meat Puppets, Hüsker Dü, and the Screaming Trees

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 7 days left (I forgot to update this part over the past few days), so it says, in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Quannah had a countdown clock for it, but it broke.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Flinging With Kevin

Cjones07252021

Kevin McCarthy says he wants to find all the facts of the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol but he can’t trust a partisan committee of Democrats, so he’s going to create a partisan committee of Republicans.

The first time the Democrats tried to create a committee to investigate what happened on January 6, they consulted with Republicans before they held a vote. Kevin McCarthy demanded equal representation on the committee with full subpoena power. He got that. But since he never wanted an investigation in the first place, his party still voted against the committee. Do you know what they called a committee with an even number of Democrats and Republicans with both having full subpoena power? They called it “partisan.”

The vote passed the House for that commission, but Republicans in the Senate killed it, thanks to the filibuster bullshit Joe Manchin won’t get rid of. Since Democrats control the House, Nancy Pelosi decided to take matters into her own hands and create a House Commission…and she still invited Republicans. In fact, she even gave one of the Democratic seats to a Republican.

But this time, since Republicans rejected the committee that gave them everything they demanded, Pelosi decided this one would have eight Democratic appointments and five from Republicans. So while Kevin is screaming the committee is partisan, it’s really not. But, in order to avoid Republican bullshit as much as she can, she gave herself the power to veto any of Kevin McCarthy’s picks. That was a smart move on her part.

At first, Kevin said he wouldn’t appoint anyone to the committee and warned that if any Republicans joined, then he would strip them of all committee assignments. Then, he changed his mind and set out to select five goons, er, Republicans to sit on the fact-finding committee. Kevin appointed Rodney Davis, Kelly Armstrong, and Troy Nehls, with only Nehls of the three not voting to certify the election.

But, he also appointed Jim Banks and Donald Trump’s favorite poo-flinging monkey, Jim Jordan. McCarthy’s intention was to seat members who would deflect and distract during testimonies. Basically, fling poo.

Surprise! Nancy Pelosi rejected Banks and Jordan. McCarthy responded by pulling all five of his members from the committee and said, “Unless Speaker Pelosi reverses course and seats all five Republican nominees, Republicans will not be party to their sham process and will instead pursue our own investigation of the facts.”

First off, Kevin…what are you threatening with? What do you have?

Second, you don’t put fuckers like Banks and Jordan on a committee when you’re trying to find facts. Nancy was right to pull those two members.

Before his selection, Jim Banks said the committee to investigate what happened on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol shouldn’t have anything to do with investigating what happened on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol. Later, he said the committee should investigate what President Biden had to do with the attack and why he didn’t stop it. Joe Biden was NOT President when the attacked happened. That’s some serious gaslighting.

Jim Jordan, like Banks, voted against certifying the election. During a speech on January 6, Jim Jordan said he would never be convinced Joe Biden won the election because Trump had a lot of people at his rallies and Biden rarely left his house to campaign. So sure, let’s put the guy on the committee who would rather go with his gut than election results.

Jim Jordan also coordinated with Donald Trump in trying to stop certifying the election and with spreading the Big Lie that he won. Trump gave Jim Jordan a fucking medal for his gaslighting and lying about the election.

You cannot put people on a fact-finding committee who believe they are entitled to their own facts. You also shouldn’t put people on a committee who may be witnesses. Hell, you shouldn’t let a witness select members of the committee.

Jim Jordan should be subpoenaed to testify. He says he talks to Donald Trump weekly. Kevin McCarthy was on the phone with Trump during the insurrection, so he’s a witness too.

The one Republican on the committee, Liz Cheney, slapped Jim Jordan’s hand on January 6 during the insurrection and told him, “You fucking did this.”

Republicans cry that this commission is only out to get Donald Trump. That’s like whining the O.J. trial was only out to get O.J.

McCarthy whined, “This represents an egregious abuse of power and will irreparably damage this institution,” he said in his statement. “Denying the voices of members who have served in the military and law enforcement, as well as leaders of standing committees, has made it undeniable that this panel has lost all legitimacy and credibility and shows the Speaker is more interested in playing politics than seeking the truth.” But you don’t seek the truth with people like Jim Banks and Jim Jordan.

The attack on the Capitol was conducted by Trump supporters. This is a fact. They were white nationalists. That is another fact. They made a bee line from a Trump rally to the Capitol after Trump told them to. We have it on tape. They were not welcomed into the Capitol by the police with hugs and kisses as Donald Trump claims. They broke through police lines, beat cops with flag poles, pipes, batons and other weapons, while spraying them with bear spray. They climbed in through broken windows, stomped on police, shit and pissed in the hallways, and even bit one cop’s fingers off. Over 300 Proud Boys were involved, wearing bullet proof vests, military helmets, and coordinating through walkie-talkies. Some were carrying nooses while screaming to hang Mike Pence. Some had Confederate and Neo-Nazi flags. And of course, there were Trump and MAGA flags. And Republicans don’t want to get to the bottom of any of this.

McCarthy says the committee needs to find out why Pelosi failed in protecting the Capitol, yet during the insurrection, he was on a phone pleading with Donald Trump to send the National Guard…which Trump ignored for hours. He doesn’t want to investigate that?

The hearings start on July 27 and the first four witnesses are Capitol Police officers who were injured during the attack. Republicans don’t want to hear their testimony. Other witnesses should be Jim Jordan, Kevin McCarthy, Ivanka Trump and chief-of-staff Mark Meadows, who kept sending Ivanka to plead with her father to call the rioters off.

Others who witnessed Trump in the White House that day include Keith Kellogg, Eric Herschmann, Dan Scavino, Kayleigh McEnany, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump Jr, Eric Trump, and Kimberly Guilfoyle. They should all receive subpoenas to testify. So should Mike Pence, who Trump orderd to come to the White House so he could order him to overturn the election. John Eastman and Mo Brooks, who both spoke at the rally on January 6, should also be made to testify.

During the attack, McCarthy was on the phone with Trump. Trump told him the attackers were Antifa. After McCarthy assured him they were indeed Trump supporters, Trump said, “Well, Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are.”

McCarthy knows the truth but he doesn’t want it revealed. He’s like a victim of spousal abuse telling the cops nothing happened and he just clumsily walked into the wall again. Oddly enough, his refusal to participate may be the best thing he can do for our country.

Now, without McCarthy’s poo-flinging monkeys on board, this committee can get to the bottom of the attack on the Capitol by Trump’s MAGA terrorists.

Thank you, Nancy Pelosi, for rejecting the poo-flinging monkeys.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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