Can you believe a second woman is now accusing Herschel Walker of paying for an abortion? I can. Do you know why I can believe it? Because he did it. This is like Donald Trump and accusations of sexual assault. Who are you going to believe, Trump or the 26 women accusing him? You can’t believe people when they have a long history and pattern of lying about everything.
Let’s look at just a few of the lies told by Herschel Walker, the current Republican candidate for Georgia’s senate seat.
Herschel Walker lied about being a cop. He was never ever a cop. Never.
Herschel Walker lied about being an FBI agent. He was never an FBI agent. He said he’s been to Quantico and his campaign said he had once run a “women’s self-defense training, participating in the FBI Academy at Quantico.”
It just occurred to me that I’m an FBI agent too. How is that? Years ago, I was a guest speaker at an FBI class at Quantico. It was a class for police from across the nation about the media. Since I spoke at a training thingamajig at the FBI Academy, that makes me an FBI agent, at least when I use Herschel’s logic. The ingrates at the academy never did send me my badge.
Herschel Walker lied about graduating from college in the top one percent.
Herschel Walker lied about graduating from college.
Herschel Walker lied about having a bachelor’s degree.
Walker lied about being the founder of a charity for veterans.
Walker lied that the veterans’ charity he didn’t found is a charity, but is actually a for-profit operation which he worked for as a spokesman and has been investigated by the Department of Justice and the FBI (probably the same FBI he never worked for) for being a con.
When I worked for a newspaper, I never claimed I started or owned the newspaper. Has Herschel claimed he owns the UGA Bulldogs, Dallas Cowboys, Minnesota Vikings, Philadelphia Eagles, or the New Jersey Generals? Of course not, because nobody wants to claim they owned the New Jersey Generals.
Herschel lied when he claimed his business, Herschel’s Famous 34 Food Products (this is really a thing) donated 15% of its profits to charity. One of the charities he claims he’s donated to refused to comment and three others said they have no record of donations from Herschel or his company.
Donald Trump did the same thing, except it was his own “charity” that he never donated to but claimed he did. Instead, Trump used his charity to buy gifts for himself, like signed sports objects and portraits of himself, and to coordinate with his 2016 presidential campaign. He also used it as a con for receiving payments. Like when he did that Wrestlemania, payment from WWE went into his charity instead of to him. That way, there were no taxes on the money and Trump got to use it to buy Tim Tebow’s balls.
Herschel lied when he claimed he owned the “largest” upholstery business in the country. He doesn’t just NOT own the largest, but Herschel doesn’t and has never owned an upholstery company. I can’t even tell you the reason for this ridiculous preposterous lie. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for it. It’s like when Trump claimed he was voted Michigan Man of the Year, which doesn’t exist.
I own a trailer park and it’s the largest trailer park in the world. It’s called Clay’s Famous Trailer Park. Don’t look it up. If you claim you looked it up but couldn’t find it, then you’re lying. See how that works?
Herschel lied when he said he was a quarter Native American and that his grandmother was a “full-blooded Cherokee”. Herschel’s own mother said that’s not true. Remember when Republicans mocked Elizabeth Warren for claiming she’s part Native American? Wouldn’t it be funny if it’s discovered Herschel is related to Elizabeth Warren? Liz probably wouldn’t find it funny.
Herschel lied when he said Trump won the 2020 election. When people say this bullshit, it’s not an opinion. It’s a lie. There are no facts to support this lie. Fact, fact, fuckity fact, fact.
Walker lied about how many children he has. Currently, we’re at four, three of whom he initially refused to acknowledge. We’re still not sure there are only four.
And of course, Herschel has lied about paying for abortions. The first accuser produced a receipt and a get-well card from Herschel. Now there’s a second accuser. Are both women lying and Herschel’s telling the truth? Herschel has not given us any reason to believe him about anything…ever.
Herschel, like all Republicans, is a lying hypocrite. If Georgians make Herschel their next senator, Herschel will vote to ban abortion nationwide, even though most Republicans are saying it’s a “states” issue. Yeah, they’ll abandon that as soon as they have the House and Senate.
And soon, the only abortions there will be exceptions for will be for women knocked up by Herschel Walker.
Music note: I listened to Talking Heads and Third Eye Blind while drawing today’s cartoon.
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