Senate

Acquitted


cjones02162021

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Unconstitutional What?


CNN02072021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

For the record, Donald Trump was impeached both times while he was still president. If you have issues with the trial in the Senate being after he left office, which he tried to remain in through a bloody coup attempt, blame Mitch McConnell for delaying the trial until after Trump left town.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Blockhead Legal Services


cjones02032021

I had a reader tweet a message at me yesterday asking when I published a cartoon featuring Donald Trump and Peanuts’ Lucy Van Pelt. I had to dig it up and I discovered it was in March 2018. This morning, I thought today might be a good time to bring Lucy back.

In early 2018, Donald Trump was having trouble finding lawyers to represent him in the Mueller investigation. You knew it was bad when he was tweeting how the best lawyers in the nation were climbing over each other to represent him like he was an ambulance with a broken siren. The truth was, they kept dropping like flies. I’m sorry I can’t find a better metaphor. “Faster than credible lawyers dumping Donald Trump” is a metaphor.

During the Mueller investigation, his lead counsel resigned, he hired a husband and wife duo who were screaming fucknut legal heads at Fox News only for them to resign later. The attorneys he did have sent drunkenly-composed emails to reporters, mailed hush agreements from Trump’s address, tweeted guilt from Trump’s Twitter account, and loudly discussed strategy in one of the busiest and most popular restaurants among journalists in Washington. Keep in mind, this is the same guy who kept Michael Cohen on retainer. Donald Trump picks lawyers like he picks doctors.

Donald Trump set a lot of records as president (sic) with one of them being the rejections from law firms. According to reports, at least six law firms rejected working for Donald Trump in 2018. One legal expert said, “It is difficult for one to maintain one’s appearance of being an ethical lawyer while trying to represent Donald Trump.”

Even O.J. got top-notch legal help but then again, O.J. probably paid his lawyers.

Inside sources say Donald Trump doesn’t want to pay Rudy Giuliani his legal fees for spreading the big stolen election lie. Did he pay Sidney Powell? And look at the quality of legal services he received from that dynamic-farting duo. They lost over 60 cases in court. You would think they would have won at least one of them by accident. But even Lionel Hutz didn’t spread conspiracy theories about the deceased Hugo Chavez stealing the election from Trump with socialist voting machines. Jackie Chiles would take on Cosmo Kramer as a client before he’d take Donald Trump. Saul Goodman never had hair dye dripping down his face during a press conference. Even Barry Zuckerhorn didn’t fart during legislative hearings.

The Senate trial over Donald Trump’s impeachment for inciting a terrorist attack against the U.S. Capitol begins next week, and yesterday he lost five lawyers. One person familiar with what’s going on in Trump Legal Land told The New York Times they’re all splitting because Donald Trump is insisting they argue he won the election and it was stolen from him, thus justifying death to Congress and his own vice president.

The same person also says Trump told the lawyers the case is “simple” and he could argue it himself and save the money on lawyers. As a political cartoonist, all I have to say about that prospect is, “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IF THERE IS A GOD YOU’LL MAKE IT HAPPEN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK PLEASE!!!!!”

I would really like to see that.

I guess there are even a few Republican lawyers who can’t sell the lie Trump won the election. He did lose over 60 cases with that argument. Or, maybe the lawyers just don’t want to lie. I said it repeatedly throughout the Trump presidency (sic): You can not defend Donald Trump without lying. It’s impossible. You don’t need a law degree. You need a degree in bullshit.

Donald Trump is guilty. He incited a riot. He spent nearly $3 million putting that attack together. He told his supporters to march on the Capitol and stage a coup attempt. He told them to overturn an election, disenfranchise millions of voters, and install him as an illegitimate president. He told his followers to make him a fascist dictator. His crowd attacked the Capitol looking to hang Mike Pence and kidnap Nancy Pelosi. Five people died, including a Capitol Police officer. Donald Trump is guilty. He shouldn’t just be convicted in the Senate and barred from future political office. Donald Trump should be in prison.

Do you know who says Donald Trump told the terrorists to attack the Capitol? The terrorists. That’s their defense.

Fortunately for Donald Trump, his jury has Republicans on it. Like Trump, Republicans are corrupt. For Trump, they are so sycophantic, they’ll vote not to convict him for an act where he tried to have them killed. Seriously.

Donald Trump probably doesn’t even need a lawyer because he already has a tainted jury. But let me offer one piece of advice in case she does take him as a client: Lucy, get that nickel in advance.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Georgia Stretch


cjones12202020_bak

There are several people who do not deserve to be United States senators. Some lack the intelligence like Mississippi’s Cindy Hyde Smith. Others don’t actually want to do the job like Florida’s Marco Rubio. Some are lying, sniveling bastards using the position to be national demagogues like Ted Cruz and Tom Cotton. Some are such assholes that there have been incidents where constituents have failed to control themselves from physically attacking and giving them the beatings of their lives, like Rand Paul. Others lack the morals, integrity, and courage a United States Senator should have. Georgia’s Kelly Loeffler is one of those individuals.

Like Arizona’s Martha McSally, who was rejected for the Senate twice and was only in there because of an appointment, Kelly Loeffler has yet to win the votes of her constituents. Unfortunately, she’s on her way.

Loeffler was appointed to the job by Georgia’s governor Brian Kemp after Senator Brian Isakson resigned for health reasons. After Donald Trump started attacking Governor Kemp, even suggesting he should go to prison for not stealing an election for him, Kelly Loeffler rushed to the defense of the man who gave her a U.S. Senate seat, and without whom, she wouldn’t be a legitimate candidate for that seat today. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Just kidding. After Donald Trump started attacking Kemp, Loeffler, being the type of loyal person she is, said…nothing. Kelly Loeffler is a coward.

If anything, Loeffler has sought to validate the bullshit propaganda and lies that the election was rigged and stolen. She, along with Georgia’s other stupid lowlife senator, David Perdue, called for the resignation of the secretary of state, Brad Raffensperger. She supported a lawsuit by Donald Trump to overturn the election.

Another reason she shouldn’t be a U.S. Senator is that she shows more support for fascism than democracy. She wants to throw out an election and steal the votes from from American voters. She wants to steal their Constitutional rights.

But, wait. Kelly Loeffler wants to throw out an election that put her in the runoff. Somehow, outside nefarious forces and secret agents of ill repute got their hands on the Georgia ballots, switched votes from Trump to Joe Biden while not fucking with the votes for Loeffler and Perdue. Loeffler and Perdue were NOT on separate ballots from Trump and Biden. THEY WERE ON THE SAME FUCKING BALLOTS!!!

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted. But have you actually taken a hard look at their arguments?

Kelly Loeffler has refused to say she won’t engage in any shenanigans when the electoral college arrives in the Senate. She hasn’t rejected the stupid calls for Donald Trump’s theory of “alternate” electors. When asked about acknowledging that Joe Biden is the president-elect, she said, “The president (sic) has a right to every legal recourse.” He does…and he’s out of them.

Pay attention, kids. The Constitution says the electors must meet on the same date and Congress chooses that date. That happened last Monday. The electors have met. They voted. Joe Biden is the president-elect. There are no “alternate” electors. Any move to disallow the actual electors, who have already done their job as the Constitution to the United States has specified, would be UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!! Sorry. I shouted again.

So, Kelly Loeffler wants Georgians to vote for her in an election in a state where she claims the people managing the elections are corrupt….in a runoff she reached by securing enough votes in an election she calls corrupt…for a position in the United States Senate even though she is in favor of the undemocratic and un-Constitutional positions of invalidating an election.

It’s a good thing she’s doing this pandering shit to a base of conspiratorial nutjobs in Georgia, because that state has already sent one member of Qanon to Congress.

Vladimir Putin has acknowledged Joe Biden as the president-elect. Kelly Loeffler is slower than Putin in supporting democracy…and she wants to be a United States senator?

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Religious Test Bigotry


cjones10172020

Don’t take my word for it that Republicans are going to lose in November. Take theirs.

Republicans know they’re going to lose the Senate (even South Carolina is competitive. South Carolina!). They’re going to lose the White House. There is no chance they can retake Congress.

Republicans know the will of the American people is against them. The majority of the nation rejects Republicanism and Trumpism. In the past 32 years, they’ve only won the popular vote in a presidential election…ONCE. In 2018, Senate Democratic candidates received 12 million more votes than Republican candidates. And despite the will of this nation being against Republicans, they control the White House, the Senate, and will soon have six out of nine justices on the Supreme Court which will rule for decades. Do you think that’s fucked up? Good, because it’s fucked up.

Republicans know the majority of America doesn’t like them. They know the more educated and informed Americans are, they more likely they’ll vote against their policies because their policies are stupid, racist, and regressive. “Make America great again” means make America go backwards. And that’s why they’re ramming through the confirmation of Amy Coney Barrett.

Nine months was the time between Merrick Garland’s nomination to the Supreme Court and the election in 2016, yet Republicans wouldn’t even discuss it. There were no hearings. Republican senators refused to even meet with the man. There are 21 days between now and election day and yesterday, Republicans began hearings for Amy Coney Barrett.

Is it because she’s so qualified? No. While I don’t believe she’s a mouth-breathing knuckle-dragging moron, she doesn’t have much experience. She’s been a judge, not just a federal judge…but a judge period for less than four years. Does she need to be rammed through because of her excellent judgement? Well, she judged that all seven of her children could attend a White House super-spreader event without wearing face masks or engaging in social distancing. Should we ram her through because she’s a person who stands by her word and has exemplary principles? I don’t know because she once said only conservatives should replace conservative justices and vice versa for liberals. Today, she’s a conservative nominee replacing Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

And should we ram her through because of her independence and free will? No because she’s in a cult. Literally. She is in a religious cult.

Republicans scream that Democrats shouldn’t exercise “religious bigotry” over her. I disagree. Exercise that shit. She’s in a cult. She’s going to be on the bench for decades. We have a right to know if she’s going to rule like the Handmaid’s Tale. It’s fair to ask if she’s going to enact her religious beliefs when it comes to abortion, health coverage for all Americans, guns, birth control, gay marriage, or force every unwed woman in the nation to wear a chastity belt, and if they screw around, a scarlet letter.

Yesterday, I observed an exchange between a conservative cartoonist and a liberal cartoonist. I merely observed…for once. The conservative was upset with the liberal’s cartoon on Donald Trump’s nominee and said his work “smacked” of religious bigotry. The conservative asked, “What would you have drawn had she been a devout Muslim or an Orthodox Jew?” My question to him would be, “What would you have drawn?”.

Let’s be honest. If a Democratic president nominated a Muslim female, the GOP would freak out. For example, look at what they’ve done with Ilhan Omar, and she’s a Congresswoman. Donald Trump has accused her of coming to “our” nation after messing up her birth nation of Somalia, never mind the fact she left Somalia when she was eight. They’ve accused her of supporting terrorists and of being a terrorist. They’ve yelled, “Send her back.” Republicans have said, “How dare she tell us how to run ‘our’ country,” forgetting the fact she was elected to tell us how to run our country. Never mind the fact that our country is also her country. They’ve even accused her of marrying her brother. Seriously. And if we take Donald Trump’s track record of hypocrisy into account, we should investigate to see if Melania is his sister.

So yeah. I’m sure Republicans wouldn’t exercise any religious bigotry if a Muslim was nominated to the Supreme Court…or any court for that matter. And just how many Muslims are currently occupying federal courts in the United States of America? Zero. Zip. Nada. Nil. Zilch. None.

There are no Muslims on any of our nation’s federal courts. And yet, Republicans are clutching their pearls by people asking a religious zealot who’s a member of a literal cult that literally tells women to be submissive to their men, if her faith will play a part in her decisions.

I have two great ideas: First, let’s nominate nothing but atheists. They won’t be influenced by some backwards dogma while also respecting religious freedom because that also protects our right to not have any faith.

My second great idea is to stop these proceedings because ramming this confirmation of Amy Coney Barret to the Supreme Court is a joke leading to a tragedy.

This is a lifetime appointment. By ramming it through, Republicans are showing they don’t respect that. They don’t respect the American people. They say the American people should decide who puts these judges on the courts but by ramming this through within 22 days shows that Republicans are afraid of what the American people will decide.

And has Amy Coney Barrett said, “Hey, let’s wait until after the election.”? Of course not. Because just like everyone else Donald Trump has nominated, she doesn’t have any principles. She can not wait to get on the Supreme Court and take away your health insurance and to outlaw abortion. Hell, Justices Thomas and Alito are salivating at the chance to outlaw gay marriage.

The real irony here is that after she gets on the court and helps install Donald Trump president for life, there will no longer be a Supreme Court.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Amy’s Cult


cjones09262020

Amy Coney Barrett is a a judge for the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals based in Chicago and the current darling of the right-wing frenzy-feeding evangelical fucknut base. And if this is who they want, Donald Trump will give her to them. Hell, he was literally polling the crowd at one of his hate rallies this week.

Donald Trump is expected to announce Coney Barrett this Saturday, but who knows. Maybe he’ll surprise us and find someone even worse, but I doubt it. His base wanted her before he named Kavanaugh…but Trump needed white men first. But right now, his base wants Coney Barrett.

Why do they want Coney Barrett? They expect her to be the final vote banning abortions, killing Obamacare, making birth control illegal, outlawing gay marriage, and forcing every woman in the nation to wear a chastity belt.

Naturally, a conservative of this caliber is religious. She’s not just religious and a Catholic…she’s in a cult. Which makes me ask, can a person be in two cults?

Amy Coney Barrett is a member of the People of Praise, which is described as a “charismatic Christian parachurch organization.” I’m not sure I understand what that is, so I needed to research it. Unfortunately, I made the not smart decision to read about it before I went to bed last night. What followed next… were nightmares.

No, a person should not be persecuted for his or her religion but if an atheist were to be nominated to the Supreme Court, I bet one scarlet letter Republicans would be screaming bloody murder. As it turns out, Coney Barrett is in a cult that inspired…wait for it because it’s goooooooooood… The Handmaid’s Tale.

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood is a dystopian novel about subjugated women in a patriarchal society. The cult Amy’s in has advisers assigned to each person. Male advisers are called “Heads” and the female advisers were called…wait for it again… “Handmaids.” They changed it to “Leaders” after the novel came out. It’s similar to why Donald Trump doesn’t call his secret goons infiltrating our cities as “stormtroopers.”

In Atwood’s novel, women’s bodies are governed and treated as the property of the state under a theocratic regime. In Amy’s cult, members are taught that men have authority over their wives. Members swear a lifelong loyalty oath to each other, which is already like marriage…or a Trump rally. But former members of the “organization” say that the “heads” and “handmaidens” can play a huge role in the lives of members, such as directing their choice of partner, where they live, and how they raise children.

One former member says you’ll be reported if you’re caught drinking alcohol, dating the wrong person, or even for expressing a sexual thought they find disturbing (which is odd since they don’t have a problem with a man saying he’d probably be dating his daughter if they weren’t related), For these dirty thoughts, you can be banished, which to me sounds like something you would want. Please. Banish me.

Another former member said that People of Praise believes that only married couples should have sex, and that marriage is only between a man and a woman. That’s fine. You can believe that…but I don’t want a Supreme Court Justice decided that for me and the rest of the nation.

That’s exactly what Republicans want. They’re in the minority of views. What they want, the majority of the nation doesn’t. They demand a larger chunk of representation than the rest of America which is why they love the electoral college. They know the majority of American people don’t want another fucknut on the bench and if they wait until after the election, then they won’t be able to do it…so they’re rushing now. The Republican Party expects to be rejected by the American people in November and they will lose the White House and Senate. But, they’ll be able to take comfort in the fact they forced as much as they could upon us.

The Supreme Court already has a majority that doesn’t represent the nation. The Supreme Court isn’t just in the wrong decade, but the wrong century.

Amy Coney Barrett will be on the highest court in the land making rulings about your life…your body. She’ll sit on cases involving healthcare, abortion, birth control, gay marriage, civil rights, etc. It’s not good.

And now you know why I had nightmares last night. The Handmaid’s Tale is a dystopian nightmare of a fictional autocratic society. The author, Margaret Atwood, sat on the book for three years because she thought the concept was just too crazy. It’s kinda like when The Simpsons did episodes back in the 1990s of Donald Trump being president because the idea of a Trump presidency was too crazy and ridiculous. Now, he’s making lifetime appointments to the Supreme Court. Now it’s our nightmare.

Two questions for Amy Coney Barrett: Are you in a cult? And, did you have to take a loyalty oath to either?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Republican Hypocrites


cjones09232020

“The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”

That was Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2016 after the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia left a vacancy. If you were unsure if McConnell was full of shit then, today’s actions by him and his GOP colleagues confirms it.

The Republican argument in having a new position is that now, the president (sic) and Senate are of the same party. But, that doesn’t change the fact there is an election in 43 days. That doesn’t change the fact we can have a new president and even a new Senate in January.

The fact of the matter is, Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump, and the Republican Party don’t care about being hypocrites. They never had integrity or a sense of fairness. The only reason they bark out some stupid bullshit about the president (sic) and Senate being the same party now, something they didn’t stipulate in 2016, is because they need some bullshit. I mean, they can’t just come out and say it’s a power grab and they don’t care. They can’t admit they’re hypocrites.

If they had to, they’d create some new crap like there’s a exception for a president with a bad combover.

McConnell was on Sean Hannity’s show fairly recently where Hannity praised Trump for being so much better than President Obama at nominating judges. McConnell actually corrected him and said Obama was good at nominating, but that he, McConnell, was good at blocking them. Then McConnell let out a sick giggle.

Republicans don’t care about decency, fairness, or integrity. They definitely don’t care about the Constitution. And hey, when it’s all said and done, the court may not matter if we’re in a fascist system.

But, they’re rushing to fill this seat because the argument they clung to in 2016 may be true this year. Donald Trump may be rejected by the American people again, but this time, tossed out of office. The United States Senate may be in Democratic control. The fact the Republicans are forcing this vote on a new justice, before the election or the end of the year, is because it’s a power grab. It’s because they’re afraid the people will have a say.

In fact, a new poll shows that 62 percent of Americans want the confirmation to wait. Maybe America feels kinda weird about an impeached president making lifetime appointments to the highest court in the nation.

When McConnell made the statement about Americans having a say in their next Supreme Court Justice, he said, “THEIR” Supreme Court Justice. He was momentarily correct in that the seat belongs to us, not to the Republican or Democratic Party. They’re playing politics with our lives for the next forty years. In a few months, their politics may mean an end to legal abortion. It may mean an end to healthcare coverage for millions of Americans.

I can change my positions too. I was against adding new seats to the court. Now, I’m for it. If the Republicans are going to steal seats from Democrats and refuse to play by their own rules, and a stupid, racist president who is a tool of Russia can’t nominate anyone who can garner 60 votes, then let’s do some power grabbing of our own. Increase the number of seats and while we’re at it, let’s make Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico states. That’ll give Democrats four more Senate seats.

What’s good for the goose is good for the hypocritical gander.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump’s Disappearing Act


CNN07262020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Rand Paul’s Dirty Pool


cjones03272020

In case you don’t know, Rand Paul has tested positive for the coronavirus. He’s the first senator to test positive and most likely, not the last. Especially since Rand Paul was the first.

While waiting for his test results, Rand worked out in the Senate gym and swam in the Senate pool. He also met with several people including fellow Senators. He probably sneezed on every handrail in the Capitol while he was at it.

Rand Paul is the kind of guy you want to avoid even when he’s not going to contaminate you with something.

And you might wanna drain that pool, à la Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

This is a bonus cartoon so you’re not getting a long blog with it.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Sketchy Senate Stock Sales


cjones03262020

Insider trading is trading in the stock market on confidential information. It’s not just frowned upon or a no-no. It’s illegal.  It’s especially worse when done by elected officials because they’re supposed to use classified information to help the country, not help themselves.

Several senators are being accused of insider trading after dumping stocks before the coronavirus pandemic. Each senator’s defense has been, “I didn’t do it while I was doing it.” Republican Senator Richard Burr of North Carolina is the worst offender.

Burr dumped holdings worth between $628,000 and $1.7 million in 33 separate transactions on February  13, around the same time he, as Chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, was receiving daily briefings on the coronavirus, and after he publicly projected, in an Op-Ed for Fox News, confidence in the economy and the nation’s response to the virus. Nothing to worry about folks as he rushes to the bank to withdraw all his money. What Burr did was basically sell everything he owned. He sold, sold, sold, and didn’t buy any stocks to replace them.

Burr has denied any wrongdoing and stated he based his decisions on public news reports. How does that work? You pretend to forget what you learned from classified briefings and only retain what Wolf Blitzer told you? Keep in mind, Burr is a Republican so he totally expects people to believe grade-A bullshit.

Burr has asked the Senate Ethics Committee to conduct a review of the transaction to prove his innocence. Maybe before he unloaded a bunch of stocks right after being briefed on an incoming pandemic, he should have asked himself, “Is this something that would be investigated?”

Kelly Loeffler is a Republican senator from Georgia. She sold off between $1.3 million and $3.1 million worth of stock she owned with her husband, Jeffrey Sprecher, who just so happens to be chair of the New York Stock Exchange. She started selling her shit the same day, January 24, the Senate Health Committee, of which she’s a member of, hosted briefing on the coronavirus. Loeffler made 29 equities transactions, 27 were sales. One of her two purchases was a company called Citrix, which makes teleworking software, a product now in high demand. Hmmm….a senator who’s married to the Chair of the New Stock Exchange dumping stocks after classified briefings…sure. Nothing smells here.

Loeffler claims all stock decisions are not made by her or her husband, but by a third party, which many say is a blind trust. There really isn’t anything to stop someone who has a blind trust from interjecting themselves to make decisions. When politicians says they have a blind trust, all they have is their word that they’re not involved. Donald Trump’s “blind trust” is operated by his two idiot sons. If you believe Donald Trump doesn’t receive updates or still makes business decisions, then I have a bankrupted Atlantic City casino I’d like to sell you.

Oklahoma Republican Senator Jim Inhofe, who chairs the Senate Armed Services Committee, sold $750,000 worth of stock. He said it was related to a “continuing divestiture plan.” Whatever.

California Democrat Senator Diane Feinstein, who is the ranking member on the Senate Judiciary Committee, sold off millions in stocks. She said all those decisions were made by her husband without her input.

It’s hard to pin insider trading on members of Congress, but it does happen. Recently, Republican Chris Collins, who was a congressman from New York, was sentenced to 23 months for insider trading.

Burr’s actions have infuriated Democrats and Republicans. Tucker Carlson has demanded his resignation, apparently confident that a Republican would win his seat in a special election in North Carolina. Tucker’s motives aren’t really that pure. He’s still upset that Burr signed off on a subpoena for Donald Trump Jr. to testify about that Trump Tower meeting with Russians. But, despite Tucker believing Burr should resign, Burr should resign.

Even if there’s nothing shady going on here, it doesn’t look good for senators to be dumping stocks right before a pandemic hits, causing a recession and forcing millions to lose their jobs. And to fully understand it better, you need to see what was sold off, what was bought, and the timing. Are Senators dumping stock in cruise lines and hotels? Are they making purchases in medicine and communication? And while we’re on the subject, is Donald Trump going to get a bailout for his bedbug hotels?

A much simpler way to deal with members of Congress and stocks is to pass legislation Senator Elizabeth Warren introduced in 2018 that would prohibit them from owning individual stocks. In a speech at the time, Warren said, “They can put their savings in conflict-free investments like mutual funds, or they can pick a different line of work.”

Would that pass? Hell no. We have a Senate run by Republicans who won’t demand that Donald Trump sell off his businesses. Remember, Jimmy Carter sold his peanut farm when he became president. Despite it being illegal to profit from the office, the Senate and the Justice Department refuse to stop Donald Trump from violating the Constitution’s emoluments clause. Donald Trump isn’t just taking money from foreign governments on the sly, he announced plans to do so with his Miami resort for the G7 Summit before backing off after much criticism.

Trump’s Doral club being the best location for an international summit of world leaders is about as much of a coincidence as these senators selling stocks after classified briefings.

I agree with Senator Warren that they should all find a different line of work. I’m thinking as workers in a prison cafeteria.

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