Can’t Get Enough of Your Guns, Baby

President Joe Biden delivered a rare primetime address last night urging Congress to pass tough gun regulations, saying it’s time to “stop the carnage.” It’s past time to stop the carnage.

President Biden noted how Congress has done nothing to stop gun violence after decades of mass shootings, and said, “After Columbine, after Sandy Hook, after Charleston, after Orlando, after Las Vegas, after Parkland, nothing has been done. This time, that can’t be true. This time we must actually do something.”

Biden is calling for banning assault weapons and limiting high-capacity magazines but says if we can’t get Republicans to ban assault weapons, then at least raise the age when they can be legally purchased from 18 to 21. 

There is a group of so-called moderate Democrats and Republicans in the Senate working on legislation to get at least ten Republican votes, but while Democrats seek to legislate guns, Republicans look to legislate mental health and doors. We’re still dealing with people who believe the answer to too many guns is more guns.

Biden said, “My God, the fact that the majority of the Senate Republicans don’t want any of these proposals even to be debated or come up for a vote, I find unconscionable.”

Enter Congressman Greg Steube.

During a House Judiciary Committee hearing yesterday where gun legislation was being debated, Greg Steube was zooming from his home in Florida (of course it was Florida) and showed off his gun collection. It was creepy.

Did you hear about the Florida Man eaten by an alligator while swimming in a lake fetching frisbees? I say let’s throw all of Steube’s guns in that same alligator-infested lake and let’s see what happens.

As Steube showed one gun after another (it was like a clown car for guns), Democratic Representative Sheila Jackson Lee said, “I hope the gun is not loaded.” That alone was enough of a threat to Steube’s gun fetish for him to respond, “I’m in my house, I can do whatever I want with my guns.” As Biden said, “My god.”

Steube was arguing that a ban on magazines is a ban on guns. He said, “Don’t let them fool you that they are not attempting to take away your ability to purchase handguns. They’re using the magazine ban to do it.”

For years, Democrats have argued for gun control while stating they don’t want to ban guns or destroy the Second Amendment. Republicans believe they’re lying. Remember during the Obama era when Republicans constantly claimed President Obama was coming to get their guns…but he never did? They also claimed he’d refuse to leave office.

Republicans think Democrats are lying like they did with abortion. They always said they weren’t going to ban abortion. They just wanted to regulate it. Of course, they were lying. Now we know they really wanna ban abortion and they’re creating laws in yee-haw states to do just that. This is why I believe at some point they’re going to come clean and say they really do want to make it illegal for nonwhites to vote.

Steube was showing off his nine-millimeter pistols, like Glocks and Sig Sauers demonstrating they had high capacity magazines holding from ten to 15 bullets. He showed that lower-capacity magazines didn’t fit. Like other things in Steube’s house, they were too small and wouldn’t fit in the hole. So basically, he argued that banning those magazines bans those guns.

So what? Technically, it’s not a ban on those guns, but even if was, it technically wouldn’t be banning guns. Steube has the same fucked-up interpretation of the Second Amendment as all other Republicans, that it means they have the right to own whatever gun they want. Banning specific guns is not unconstitutional. The “right to bear arms” doesn’t mention what kind of arms. It doesn’t mention limitations or a free for all on guns.

The other thing is, it’s not about need as much as it is about want. Nobody needs more than one gun…if they need a gun at all. Steube is the kind of person who tells you it’s none of your business what kind of guns he has, and then proceeds to play show-and-tell with his guns which I’m sure makes him feel warm and squishy inside.

What Steube wants by showing off how horny he is for guns is too upset liberals, while really just icking them out a bit. I felt like I needed a shower.

The thing is, these are the people Democrats have to get through. This is Republican logic. The only way to achieve serious gun legislation that will be effective in stopping these mass shootings is to have fewer Republicans in Congress. It’s the only way.

Of course, that will be difficult because Republicans believe that in order to save the Second Amendment then they must destroy Constitutional voting rights…which will return Republicans, bought and paid for by the NRA, to Congress. These gun nuts already tried to destroy our Constitution by trying to overturn an election. I never want to hear a Republican ever again talk about the Constitution.

Greg Steube says he can do whatever he wants to do with his guns in his own home. Not if lock boxes become law, buddy. But until then, do whatever you want with your gun fetish in your own home. Just don’t broadcast it because, ew.

Music Note: I listened to Third Eye Blind, Gin Blossoms, Better Than Ezra, and a bunch of other 90’s alt stuff while drawing today’s cartoon.

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