gun control

Critical Gun Theory


CjonesRGB12042021

Republicans are really good at protecting us from things that don’t exist. Remember when Donald Trump’s education secretary said there should be guns in schools to protect students from bears? But you have to admit, there have been no public school bear maulings since she brought it up. Bears must have heard this while watching Fox News and said, “Well, shit. We can’t maul children at schools anymore. We may as well just go the parking lot at Kroger and maul some shoppers there.”

Over the past year, Republicans have been livid over critical race theory. Some state legislatures even passed laws banning the teaching of critical race theory in public schools. They didn’t worry about private schools because they teach white victimization, white privilege doesn’t exist, and slaves were immigrants with job offers.

When Glenn Youngkin was campaigning for the governorship of Virginia, he kept talking about critical race theory, and then he’d talk some more about critical race theory, then he’d take a break to talk about President Biden sending the FBI after white parents, and then he’d talk some more about critical race theory. And it worked. He won by talking about critical race theory and that FBI-white-parents bullshit.

But you know what’s NOT in public schools anywhere in Virginia or the rest of the country? Critical race theory. Do you know what keeps getting into schools? Guns. Guns are continuing to get into schools and Republicans are not doing anything about it. Instead, they focus on imaginary problems.

Why don’t we just let critical race theory get into our schools and allow Republicans to protect students from it the way they protect students from mass shootings, with thoughts and prayers. Hey, they can pray that students don’t get educated. If Republicans have their way, they won’t. Look at Texas.

While Republicans have created laws to ban something from schools that don’t really exist, many of them are trying to create laws to put more guns into schools. Conservative logic is that guns are needed to save us from guns. They love the good-guy-with-a-gun argument except that fucking theory is total bullshit.

Remember the church shooting in Sutherland Springs, Texas in 2017? The shooter murdered 26 people and injured 22 more. A “good guy with a gun” arrived and chased the shooter down after shooting him twice. Republicans everywhere got an erection from this good-guy story because their health plans pay for Viagra. But the truth is, that good guy with a gun didn’t save one life. The good guy with a gun didn’t take any action until AFTER the shooter was done murdering people. The good guy shot the shooter twice, and the shooter still got into his vehicle. The good guy was an NRA shooting instructor and still wasn’t able to stop the shooter before he killed 26 people. The good guy with a gun went after the shooter, never mind the people bleeding to death inside the church. If that good guy had actually gone into the church to stop someone’s bleeding instead of being a macho man and snapping into a Slim Jim while roaring down a Texas highway after a shooter the cops were also chasing, perhaps he would have saved a life. Perhaps the good guy with a gun could have actually been a good guy.

The shooter shot over 700 rounds in 11 minutes. Where was the good guy with a gun? Outside waiting for the shooter to emerge after he was done murdering people. The good guy saved ZERO lives. The good guy just wanted to play Rambo without putting his life in danger. He allowed people inside the church to bleed to death. The good guy became a right-wing folk hero. Also, that was in Texas. It’s hard to believe there wasn’t at least one parishioner inside that church who wasn’t packing.

There was another school shooting yesterday, this time in Oxford, Michigan. Three students are dead and eight others were wounded. The shooting was carried out by a 15-year-old who used a 9 mm Sig Sauer SP2022 semi-automatic pistol that was bought for him by his father on…wait for it…Black Friday. Three 15-round magazines were purchased with the pistol and the kid took all three with him. Thanks, Super Dad. This kid killed and injured more people than Kyle Rittenhouse. Maybe he can use the Rittenhouse self-defense defense. Maybe one of the people he shot was about to slap him with a ruler.

Also, I’m not sure the kid had enough weaponry. He was going into a school with a semi-automatic pistol. Someone in that school could have had a skateboard and you know the only defense against a skateboard is an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle. Did you know that because he’s so good at skateboarding, Tony Hawk is considered the most dangerous person in America? Look it up. It’s true.

What will Republicans do about this latest shooting? Thoughts and prayers. Now, if someone tries to bring critical race theory into the school, then we’ll see some Republican outrage. And using GOP logic, we need critical race theory in public schools to protect students from critical race theory.

Guns in schools is not a theory. They’re real and they kill. The real theory is that Republicans actually care about protecting children from gun violence. Hell, the only Republican who remembers Sandy Hook is Alex Jones.

Republicans are good at protecting us from shit that doesn’t exist. It’s like solving non-existent problems.

Creative note: Two fun facts about today’s cartoon: It kept waking me up. I went to bed with the idea and I kept waking up wondering how to do it. This happens more often than you’d think. My cartoons wake me up.
Fact two: I drew it while listening to the Sex Pistols.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Donuts and Ammo


Cjones11012021

Gun nuts are eager to prove to everyone else what experts they are with guns and gun safety. In doing so, they often demonstrate just how ignorant they are about everything else, like how a film is made.

As soon as the tragedy on the set of the film Rust was reported, conservatives and everyone else horny for guns was all over Alec Baldwin, calling for him to be charged with murder. Not only do they not understand how filming works, but they also don’t understand how the law works.

This was a tragedy that injured writer/director Joel Suza and killed cinematographer Haylna Hutchins. This is not murder. Is it possible criminal charges are forthcoming? Yes, but for whom?

It’s the assistant director’s job to ensure a safe working environment on a film set. In this case, the assistant director, Dave Halls, handed Baldwin the gun and told him it was safe. Weapons on film sets are managed by the armorer. Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, the armorer for Rust, had just prepared the guns on a cart, which is where Hall picked up the loaded gun and gave it to Baldwin. This was not a prop gun, but a real one.

There are all sorts of messed-up details in this story, such as warnings about an unsafe set, people turning down job offers because of the dangers, crew members walking off before the tragedy, and crew members engaging in target practice with the guns being used in the movie. Live bullets being put into a gun that will later be used in the movie by amateurs is a very dangerous working environment.

Perhaps the biggest question is: Why was there live ammunition on a movie set?

I’ve heard a lot of people say we should ban real working and functional guns from film sets. I’ve heard gun fuckers say this. How about we do this…and ban guns from all places of business? The Constitution gives you the right to own a gun, but it doesn’t say anything about you toting it around like it’s an extension of yourself. There’s nothing in the Constitution that allows you to carry a semi-automatic rifle into Krispy Kreme.

Republicans are after Baldwin just because they don’t like him. Baldwin spent four years doing an excellent job of portraying Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live and Trumpers are still butt-hurt over it. But as I wrote in a previous blog, your dislike for someone doesn’t convict them of murder. Your political bias is a total and complete non-factor in this issue.

Alec Baldwin didn’t intend to shoot anyone. You can argue he should have checked the gun, even after being told it was safe…but the failure to do so still doesn’t make him a killer. While these same gun humpers argue for Alec Baldwin to be charged with murder, they’re simultaneously defending Kyle Rittenhouse who shot three people, killing two, with a semi-automatic rifle he wasn’t old enough to legally own or transport across a state line, which he did intentionally to shoot at black people. Rittenhouse shot three people, killing two of them.

These same people calling for Alec Baldwin to go to prison also call a Capitol Police officer a “murderer” for shooting Ashli Babbitt, a terrorist who broke into the United States Capitol building and was storming into the office of the Speaker of the House with a violent mob of white nationalist MAGAts when she was shot, but defend George Zimmerman for shooting Trayvon Martin, a black teenager, for walking while black in a hoodie and armed with Skittles.

I think what I’m trying to say to these people, in the most eloquent terms I can think of “fuck off, you whiny hypocritical rat bastard racist babies.” Can you get guns with nipples on them?

You don’t care about the victim. You champion racist murderers and terrorists. All you care about is vengeance against people who never actually violated you. You want to string up Dr. Anthony Fauci because his efforts to save this nation contradict Donald Trump’s lies. But you don’t have anything so you make shit up, like torturing beagles and gain-of-function in bats. You don’t like that racist parents can be criminally charged for threatening school boards over vaccine/facemask mandates and teaching critical race theory which isn’t being taught, so you go after the Attorney General for doing his job. And again, you have to make shit up. You scream that these parents are just “concerned” and expressing their views, but you leave out the parts about intimidation and death threats. Now, you’re after Alec Baldwin because you see an opportunity.

Being as vile and inhumane as possible isn’t just a part of being a Republican anymore. It’s the point. This is revenge for you, not justice.

Alec Baldwin will suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome from this for the rest of his life. If there are criminal charges for negligence, then so be it. But he’s not going to prison or the gallows because he impersonated Donald Trump and made him look ridiculous. If we’re going to send people to prison for making Donald Trump look like a moron then let’s send Donald Trump because nobody made him look stupid more than he did it to himself.

As for making Trump supporters look like racist morons, well that’s on them too. I mean, nobody forced Ted Cruz to defend Nazis yesterday.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. A new shipment will arrive in early November. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Gun Control Absolutely Positively Right Now


Cjones04192021

Another day in America, another mass shooting.

After a recent mass shooting when Democrats in the Senate said we need legislation to stop this insanity, and not JUST thoughts and prayers, Senator Ted Cruz, the most disingenuous sonofabitch who has ever hatched from an egg, was livid. How dare Democrats play “theatrics” by attacking thoughts and prayers and instead, suggesting solutions. Even saying we need more than thoughts and prayers is an assault on our Christian values.

If you had listened to Ted Cruz, you would have thought Democrats had left a flaming bag of turds on the steps of the Thoughts and Prayers Institute for Gun Violence and Other Things To Be Sad About.

Ted Cruz talked about how he believes in the power of prayer. But here’s the thing about believing in the power of prayer like Ted does: It’s not working.

Ted talked about the power of prayer several mass shootings ago. Thursday night, another mass shooting took eight lives. This one was in Indianapolis at a FedEx facility. This was at least the 45th mass shooting since March 16, 2021.

In case you’re a Republican, let me lay that out for you. It was the 45th mass shooting in the span of a month. CNN defines a mass shooting as when four or more people, excluding the gunman, are wounded or killed. If you are going to order cards for thoughts and prayers, you better place a bulk order.

After the mass shooting in Georgia, or maybe it was Colorado (it’s getting harder to keep track), two right-wing fucknut fundamentalist cartoonists did cartoons of a crying Uncle Sam on the exact same day. They didn’t address the problem except to say it was sad. One of those morons lives in Indianapolis. Since he had just drawn a crying Uncle Sam, he had to come up with something different for an empty useless gesture. For this one, he had someone hugging a FedEx delivery driver.

The most revolting thing to me about this is that cartoonist works for himself. Nobody demanded he draw something that was a totally useless cliché. No editor held him back and forced him to take a coward’s way out. His response to something in his community was just as empty as his response to when it happens somewhere else. He didn’t even both trying to make it unique or particular to his home. He let his community down just as he’s been letting his country down. And nobody made him do it. He chose to suck all on his own. Just like Ted Cruz.

I don’t expect my cartoon above, or any of the others I’ve drawn on the subject, to end gun violence. But I am adding my voice to many others to find a solution other than just praying for it. I don’t keep repeating the same empty gesture again and again. For right-wing cartoonists, they express it’s sad people die from weapons they believe everyone should be able to own. Tomorrow, they’ll draw some phony outrage about a Hunter Biden sex tape or some shit that doesn’t affect anyone except their white privilege. Maybe they’ll draw a cartoon telling black people cops will stop shooting them if they just follow basic instructions. But when faced with a real challenge, they will fail. Like me, they’re just cartoonists.

Ted Cruz is a politician. Ted was elected to stop shit like this. He’s paid to confront gun violence. He’s one of 50 members of the United States Senate that doesn’t want to do anything about gun violence. Seriously. They don’t want to do anything. They are owned and controlled by the National Rifle Association. And when pressed to do something, they react as if you attacked their lord and savior. It’s a great deflection when you’re full of shit.

Ted Cruz giving thoughts and prayers when a mass shooting happens is him fleeing the situation just like when he fled to Cancun when his state was hit with a freeze. Ted Cruz says drafting legislation to combat gun violence is “theater.” This guy calling it “theater” is the same fucko who once made a campaign commercial of him cooking bacon by wrapping it around the barrel of an AR-15, then heating the barrel by shooting the gun a thousand times…then he ate that flaccid bacon as if that was owning the libs. That doesn’t own the libs. What it does is make libs lose their appetites after seeing Ted Cruz put stuff in his mouth. It works like reverse porn. Also, it’s shit like this that makes people think he’s the Zodiac Killer.

I believe in thoughts and prayers. I’m agnostic, but I think praying for someone is positive. It can be like meditation. Also, thinking is good. Give problems some thought. But, that’s what you do while you’re also tackling the problem.

When I have a problem with my Surface Pro, like the stylus decides to stop working while I’m on a CNN deadline, I tackle the problem. I’m googling up solutions and trying them out. All during that time, I’m praying it’s going to work. Granted, my prayers are probably different from yours and go something like, “You better work, you no good useless piece of crap sonofabitch mother forkerforkerforkforkforker….etc.” But, praying, or cursing at the problem, isn’t the only thing I’m doing.

Have you ever told someone you’re “still thinking about it” when you’re actually not? Like being asked if you’re coming home for Thanksgiving where all your troglodyte Trump-supporting cousins will be there talking about the stolen election and Jewish space lasers, and you say, “I’m still thinking about it”? But you’re not thinking about it. There’s no way you’re going to that shit festival of morons. You’ve already made up your mind that instead of going home to eat turkey and casserole with lunatics, you’re going to get a WaWa gobbler sandwich and a six-pack of Red Stripe, then sit home and watch Dallas lose to whoever they’re playing this year. That’s what I’m gonna do.

That’s thoughts and prayers for politicians.

Is it too much to ask politicians, even the most creepy disingenuous ones like Ted Cruz, to multitask and pray while also actually doing something? I mean, doing something other than accepting a campaign contribution?

When you pray for something to get better, are you literally asking God to fix it? Are you putting it entirely on God to do what you were elected to do? And as I’ve mentioned before, when you offer thoughts and prayers, you don’t even have to do it. Nobody knows if you’re actually giving something a thought or a prayer. It’s really the most useless thing you can do for a problem. Next time you get a flat tire, just pray for it. Don’t change the tire yourself or get your hands dirty. Let God fix it. Let me know how that works out.

FedEx used to have a slogan that said, “When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.” FedEx doesn’t pray packages get to their destinations. They actually physically deliver them. Washington Republican mofos need to do more than pray to end gun violence. Obviously, their thoughts and prayers are NOT working. Nobody is paying me the kind of money Ted Cruz is being given by taxpayers, but I know that if you don’t do anything about a problem, it’s just going to get worse.

We need gun control, not last night or overnight. We need to ban assault weapons absolutely, positively right fucking now.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Absolut Biden


Cjones04162021

I love that people who identify themselves as Constitutionalists don’t know shit fuck about the Constitution.

Usually, when a “Constitutionalist” screams about the Constitution and the rights it guarantees, it is really only talking about one Amendment, and that’s the Second. In case you don’t know what that Amendment guarantees, ask a “Constitutionalist.” The other thing I love about “Constitutionalists” is that they’ll tell you only part of what’s in the Second Amendment. Not only will they NOT tell you what the entire Amendment says, but when they tell you the part, “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” they won’t even tell you the entire sentence.

What does the rest of that sentence say? It says, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State…” and then it gives you, ” the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

When you talk to a “Constitutionalist,” especially the white male Christian ones, they believe they’re all infringed. They’re the most infringed people in world history.

The other thing I love about these wingnuts is that they don’t know history and they don’t know civics. Take Fox News fucknut Steve Doocy as an example. This asstwat goes on national TV every weekday morning, talks about the Constitution, and doesn’t know dick for shit what he’s talking about.

While introducing measures to curb gun violence, President Joe Biden said, “No amendment to the Constitution is absolute.” With that, conservatives lost their minds.

How dare the president say something so factual and historically accurate!!! How dare he know what he’s talking about!!!

Spoiler alert: None of the Amendments to the United States Constitution are absolute. They are not set in stone. The Constitution is a living document, as in it can be changed. But don’t take my word for it. I’m just a cartoonist. Let’s take Thomas Jefferson’s word.

Jefferson said, “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.”

Here’s your first history lesson for the day, conservatives: Thomas Jefferson was one of the framers of the Constitution. Ouch. That one stings. Walk it off. It’s about to get worse.

Steve Doocy, who is NOT Thomas Jefferson, went off the rails on his morning show for numbnuts. Doocy said, “The part that is really shocking is where the President just said no amendment to the Constitution is absolute. He’s talking about the Second Amendment, which he does not regard as, you know, giving everybody the right to do whatever they want to with guns, we know that we know his talking point.” It’s nice that he believes the Second Amendment gives everyone the right to do whatever they want with guns.

When talking about the Constitution, would you rather take the word from a guy named Jefferson or a turd named Doocy? I’d listen to George Jefferson before I’d listen to Steve Doocy.

This is where Doocy displays his ignorance. He rhetorically asked, “But what about if no Amendment is absolute? What about how does he feel about the First Amendment? How does he feel about the freedom of religion, how does he feel about freedom of speech?” I say he asked “rhetorically” because he ignored that Biden gave a civics and history lesson in his speech.

President Biden said, “You can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded movie theater and call it freedom of speech. From the very beginning, you couldn’t own any weapon you wanted to own. From the very beginning that the Second Amendment existed, certain people weren’t allowed to have weapons. So the idea is just bizarre to suggest that some of the things we’re recommending are contrary to the Constitution.”

The First Amendment gives you the freedom of speech, but it doesn’t give you the freedom to say anything you want. Courts have ruled you don’t have the right to libel someone. You don’t have the right to speak and cause a panic or a riot. I can call Steve Doocy a butt muncher but I can’t make a public claim that he literally munches on butts.

As Jefferson said, ” We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.” Jefferson probably anticipated slavery would eventually be outlawed…and banning it would become a Constitutional amendment. See? We outgrew out childish pants and outgrew the regimen of our “barbarous ancestors.” And the Constitution changed from the first ten amendments our founding fathers created, and written by James Madison, which is the Bill of Rights. Also, Madison was another slave owner, but you know what he didn’t own? A fucking AR-15.

We have added 27 amendments to the Constitution. We’ve added stuff like allowing women to vote, banning slavery, electing the president and vice-president on the same ticket, electing senators by popular vote, and banning the sale of alcohol. Wait. Selling and buying alcohol is legal today. If amendments to the Constitution are absolute, then why is the sale of alcohol legal? Because Amendments…wait for it….ARE NOT ABSOLUTE.

In 1919, the 18th Amendment was ratified by the required number of states and added to the United States Constitution. This Amendment made the sale and purchase of alcohol illegal in the United States. There were no exceptions. Being that this nation does like to drink and the government couldn’t stop people from drinking, or the organized crime from it, the Amendment was repealed 24 years later. And this was done without a serious liquor lobby behind it.

In 1933, the required numbers of states said, “Get the fuck out of here,” to the 18th Amendment and the 21st was born, which repealed the 18th. On a side note, I still think it’s funny that marijuana is federally outlawed and there’s nothing in the Constitution about it. We need a weed Amendment because alcohol is much worse than weed.

We have only changed one Amendment but that proves no Amendment is absolute. What will it take to repeal an Amendment?

To change the Constitution, Congress has to call a Constitutional Convention for proposing amendments upon application of the legislatures of two-thirds of the states. That means 34 states have to agree to the convention, to even discuss it. Then, any Amendments proposed by Congress or the Convention only becomes valid when three-fourths of states’ legislatures or state conventions ratify the proposed Amendment. It would take 38 states to add a new Amendment to the Constitution.

Now it’s my turn to ask a rhetorical question: Can we get 38 states to do anything to change the Second Amendment? Hell no. We’ll never get Congress to even propose such a change.

But no Amendment is absolute. We can fight for change in courts. The Second Amendment doesn’t give you the right to own a semi-automatic rifle or unlimited ammunition.

Don’t act like President Joe Biden doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says, “No Amendment to the Constitution is absolute,” because he’s right. You may not like that he wants to change gun laws, but don’t act like he’s the one who doesn’t know his shit. When you do, you only prove you’re an idiot.

The Constitution is not infallible. It was written by slave owners. Our first five presidents were slave owners with a total of 12 presidents owning slaves. These are men who wrote, “All men are created equal” who also held slaves and didn’t believe women should have the right to vote. We can’t live by the standards of our “barbarous ancestors” who wrote the Constitution in 1787.

It’s time to move on and stop living by standards that was the norm 233 years ago. I can drink to that.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Boebert To Boulder


Cjones03252021

We’ve had two mass shootings in the span of a week. Last week, a shooter killed eight in Asian massage parlors in the Atlanta, Georgia area. Yesterday, another shooter killed ten in in a large supermarket in Boulder, Colorado. One of those killed was a cop.

Boulder enacted an assault weapon ban in 2018. What’s an assault weapon? It’s the type of gun someone would use to kill ten people in a supermarket. Ten days ago, a court blocked the ban.

The Colorado State Shooting Association, one of the plaintiffs that sued Boulder over the assault weapons ban, issued a statement saying, “There will be a time for the debate on gun laws. There will be a time for the discussion on motives. There will be a time for a conversation on how this could have been prevented. But today is not the time.”

To the Colorado State Shooting Association, and to everyone else who’s ever said, “Now is not the time,” I have to give a big “fuck you.” Fuck you and fuck your “now is not the time.” If there’s a mass shooting every week, then there will never be a time to debate gun laws. Stop using this as an excuse to abdicate your responsibility. Today is the time. Tomorrow will be the time. Next week will be the time. And every day before this shooting was the time to discuss gun safety…yet, you didn’t want to do it.

Here’s a question for the Colorado State Shooting Association: Was the shooter a member of your shooting association? I mean, from your name alone, it sounds like he would have qualified because he was a shooter.

There is one way to stop these weekly mass shootings and that is to get rid of assault weapons. And before you cry, “That won’t work,” let me point out, it’s worked everywhere in the world that it’s been tried. But you may be right in that it won’t work here because we have a gun fetish. There is no other nation in this world where its citizens want to fuck their guns as much as we do. We are a nation that is more comfortable with having children shot in schools than the idea of registering a gun.

For an example of American gun fetish, look at Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert. She’s just two cracked egg shells shy from being Marjorie Taylor Green in the Qanon fucknut division. While she doesn’t represent Boulder, geographically, her district covers half the state.

Boebert, like a lot of Republicans, is a deranged lunatic. She has close ties to the extremist militia group the Three Percenters, a group that’s 100 percent Nazi. They were involved in the terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol.

She did an interview on a Qanon radio show (that’s a thing?) and said she was “very familiar” with the group and, “Everything I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real because it only means America is getting stronger and better.” She hopes that Democrats are eating babies with their pizza? Still, probably better than pineapple.

She repeated a conspiracy theory pushed by the conspiracy fucknut newspaper, The Epoch Times, that there were documents declassified by Trump that would soon spark massive resignations in the House and Senate, and Republicans would retake both chambers (this is the good part) BEFORE 2022. Also, Hillary Clinton will soon be arrested for something or other. Maybe that baby pizza thing.

During the white nationalist attack on the Capitol, Boebert tweeted details about the police response and attempted to help terrorists find the location of Speaker Nancy Pelosi. This would be like your guard dog showing burglars where you keep your safe and giving them the combination. She voted against certifying the election based on the lie it was stolen from Trump and has been accused of helping instigate the attack…probably because she helped instigate the attack.

During the Conservative Political Action Conference a few weeks ago, she enlisted other members of the House to vote for her due to the coronavirus…but she was actually at CPAC helping to spread Qanon and Trump conspiracy bullshit.

When she’s not aiding racist anti-government terrorists to attack our nation, she enjoys zooming with her guns.

Boebert is a gun nut. She claims she has to carry a gun at all times, even when speaking on the House floor, because someone was beaten to death outside the restaurant she owns in Colorado (where every customer gets to shoot their entrée before consuming it). The fact is, someone was in an altercation several blocks from her restaurant, and after running away, collapsed in front of her place from what an autopsy determined was methamphetamine intoxication.

By the way, her restaurant is Shooters Grill in the town of Rifle. I swear to God and on all my guitars, I did not make that up. One of the Yelp reviews says, “Hey y’all, if diarrhea is your favorite way to expel calories, you’ve found your shortcut to weight loss right here!” Do they have country fried steak? I was going to post the link to the restaurant but Google says it’s not safe….just like the restaurant.

Boebert is a big fan of not just carrying a gun, but posing with it. She made a video of herself (since Republicans like using this word, we’ll use it for them) PARADING while smirking with a gun strapped to her hip. She has made a huge issue of averting metal detectors in the Capitol and has become a right-wing fucknut hero over her gun brandishing.

Boebert claims if she’s prohibited from carrying a gun into a House Natural Resources Committee hearing (which I’m assuming she’s on), then the chairman of the committee, Raul Grijalva, must pay for her personal protection, as in hiring security guards to follow her around. These people who are afraid to even do a Zoom call without a gun accuse others of being cowards for wearing face masks. “Afraid to leave the house are ya’?” while they have Glocks hidden in their ass cracks.

She said, “The chairman is trying to take responsibility for my personal safety while stripping away my Second Amendment rights.” I have read the Second Amendment multiple times and I haven’t found the part where it states you can carry a gun into any room or building you want to. The greatest danger you’re going to face in the United States Capitol is if a far-right racist terrorist group attacks it. Maybe she’s afraid that if that happens, someone will tweet out her location. Quick! Grab the ass Glock!

There is a regulation that exempts members from a federal law banning firearms on the Capitol grounds. But, weapons are still prohibited on the House floor. This has not stopped a gun fucker like Boebert from being a pistol-packing mama on the House floor.

During a Zoom meeting of the committee she’s on, Boebert made sure to use her gun fetish as her background (while I struggle for my apartment not to look like a warehouse during my Zoom meetings or keep my bed from appearing). Boebert had several guns right behind her head. When the committee resumes meeting in person again, she intends to bring her guns with her unless a Democrat pays for her security detail.

Representative Jared Huffman said, “Here’s the reality — if somebody wants to have a shrine to their gun fetish as a Zoom backdrop in their private life, they can do that, but this is our hearing room. At some point we will get past the COVID epidemic and we’ll all start showing up in person and our safety and our ability to conduct business civilly without feeling threatened is a relevant consideration, unfortunately.”

And her fellow House members should feel threatened by her. Why? Because she is a security threat. She’s packing a gun, supporters terrorist groups, and let me remind you…helped terrorists attack Congress. So yeah….members of Congress should be very aware of how dangerous she is.

Members of Congress deserve to feel safe and not live in fear of being shot by a raving lunatic while on the House floor or in committee meetings. Also, you should feel safe not to get blasted by an automatic weapon by a maniac while you’re going to school, the movies, or shopping. All three of those have been the scene of a mass shooting in Colorado.

I have three newspapers in Colorado who subscribe to my cartoon service. They are The Colorado Reporter in Denver, the Colorado Springs Independent, and Boulder Weekly. I hope all my friends in Boulder are safe and my thoughts are with them.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Neo-Nazi Gun Rally


cjones01202020

Yesterday, I wrote on Twitter: Dear gun fetishists. Please keep your and your racist and Nazi friends’ asses out of my state next week. Thanks.

I got replies to that. I was surprised at how many and the type of replies I got. And no, I didn’t respond to any of them.

Thousands of protesters are expected to the state capitol grounds in Richmond on Monday to protest proposed restrictions on gun purchases by the Virginia Legislature. The governor, Ralph Northam, has declared a state of emergency and announced a temporary ban on weapons on the grounds of the State Capitol ahead of the rally.

Yes, these people are upset at gun restrictions in Virginia, yet a ban on guns on the grounds of the State Capitol is only temporary. In case you’re a Republican, “temporary” means not forever. Also, why are you upset about this when you’re never angry about there being a ban on guns at NRA conventions? Think about it.

The reason for the state of emergency is that authorities have identified credible “threats of violence,” including from out-of-state militia groups and hate groups that are planning to start shit. The governor said the authorities had also found extremist rhetoric online similar to what had been seen in 2017 before the Charlottesville tiki-torch march conducted by hate groups in 2017 over removing Confederate statues, that left one girl dead.

Also, Monday is Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday, which is a federal holiday, so don’t tell me there’s not a racist aspect to this. It’s like trying to tell me you’re not a racist while you’re wearing a sheet.

I think there’s something to these threats online because even I, little ole me, pipsqueak cartoonist who’s not major on the national scene, got some very cryptic replies to my tweet last night and this morning. And I’m not just talking about all the F-You comments.

I got the black-friend defense. I got the Hitler-banned-guns defense (I love that they fail to capture the irony in lying about the Holocaust to support their gun fetish while saying they’re not bigots). I got the I’m-Rubber-You’re-Glue defense, as in, “I’m not the Nazi. You’re the Nazi,” which is heavily used among the MAGAt crowd (I’m not the puppet. You’re the puppet).

And finally, I got the We’re-Going-To-Find-Where-You-Live reply. Yes, because somebody did not like my tweet. Earlier today, I even saw comments on a right-wing friend’s page that the governor has a “surprise” coming to him.

While these people are screaming at me for lumping gun fucknuts in with racists, white nationalists, and Nazis converging on my state’s capital on Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday, the FBI…wait for it…just arrested three neo-Nazis, who’ve been planning for a race war, who had just obtained a bunch of guns and were planning…try not to be shocked…on traveling to Virginia for Monday’s gun rally.

So, to all the gun nuts who yelled at me yesterday, “We’re not the racists,” let me steal from Andrew Gillum in that it’s not me who thinks you’re racist. The racists think you’re racist. Do you know why they think you’re racist? Because you’re racist.

Here’s the thing, when you’re marching with Nazis, you’re marching with Nazis. And, when Nazis get together, nothing good can come from it. So no, we don’t want you here in Virginia. We’re good. Thanks.

See, here in Virginia, we’re turning blue and we don’t want any more mass shootings in our state. I understand dead school children is a price you’re willing to pay for the right to dry hump an Uzi, but don’t use our children.

Governor Ralph Northam is right to declare a state of emergency over gun nuts descending down upon our state. Our nation’s gun nuts are a state of emergency, just like our president (sic) is a national emergency.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Beto’s Gun Ban


CNN09152019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

I admit it. The comments on my social media are mostly an echo chamber so I knew this one wouldn’t get that many shares. It’s gotten plenty of comments though.

A lot of people who do agree with Beto O’Rourke about going after assault rifles also believe he handed the GOP and Donald Trump a gift. But, there are also liberals who not only don’t have a problem with Beto saying this, but want it screamed from the rooftops. I think we can respectfully disagree. I mean, it’s not like we’re discussing Bernie.

One of my readers made a comment under this cartoon on my Facebook post. I liked it so much, I’m stealing it. Talking about how Republicans are more motivated to vote than Democrats, my friend Lex said, “90-year-old right-wing grannies will crawl to the polls. 110-year-old right-wing mummies will crawl out of their graves.”

I didn’t have to draw that many roughs for CNN this week. It was kinda like last week. Usually, we’re doing the ideas on Thursday but this week, we waited until Friday because of the debate. I was feeling some stress but this idea was approved by noon.

I felt I was only sending duds to my editors…and I was. So, I took a step back, which is hard to do when you’re feeling stressed to deliver and there’s a deadline. I took a shower and while there was soap in my hair and eyes, this hit me. You might, but I don’t normally think about Beto O’Rourke or guns when I’m wet and naked (Republicans think about guns and AOC).

I sketched out a rough while wearing a towel (the same thing happened with a song idea years ago, and I wrote the tune while wearing a towel). Within a couple minutes of receiving it, my editor approved it. He was probably fully clothed.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

A Real Tacky Cartoon


cjones09112019

Right-wing gun toters who love to call liberals “snowflakes” have a new issue to cry about. Walmart has kinda-sorta banned people from openly carrying guns in their stores. If you’re not a Walmart shopper, first off, good for you. But you may be asking right now, “Walmart allowed gun fetish whackos to skulk around their stores carrying guns?” Apparently, yes.

When you see someone who’s not a cop, walking around with a gun on their hip, they’re not telling you they’re about self-protection. They’re trying to convince the world around them, and themselves, they’re a badass and they’re not taking shit from anybody. If you see someone with an AK-47 strapped to their body, they’re telling you they have a very small penis. No matter the size of the gun, they’re all paranoid and delusional.

Talk to one of these gun worshippers on the internet and you’ll discover they’re convinced they’ll not only survive an active-shooter situation, but they’ll save the day, be the hero, and Hollywood will make a new series of Rambo movies about them. What they fail to understand is that these situations happen fast, they’ve never been in one before, and there’s no way for the police to tell them apart from the active shooter. And why should the cops be able to tell the difference? These people walking around with guns to “protect” themselves are probably hanging out on the same hate forums as the guys writing these pro-Trump, anti-immigration manifestos. You know they’re all voting for the same candidates and watching the same networks.

Now they get to be angry and butthurt with Walmart, which puts them in awkward situations. It’s not like they’re going to start shopping at Target (no pun intended) and ordering spiced lattes at Starbucks.

It goes further than just “asking” their customers not to creep around their stores with Uzis. Walmart will no longer sell handgun ammunition for the short-barrel rifle ammunition used for hunting rifles as well as military-style weapons (assault weapons). They will also stop selling handguns in Alaska, the last state where their stores sold them. If you carry a concealed weapon, Walmart will not ask you to refrain from doing so. And, how could they tell anyway? For all they know, you’re happy to see them.

On top of all that, Walmart is asking Congress to enact gun safety measures. Kroger (in case you don’t know, it is a grocery chain) has followed Walmart’s lead and are also “asking” customers not to open carry in their stores.

Fox News fucknut and blonde #37 Tomi Lahren was outraged. She said Walmart “just shot itself in the foot.” She’s probably mostly upset because she just released a brand new made-in-China “athleisure” line designed to be worn with firearms. Other conservatives were also howling.

It’s funny these conservatives are all about freedom and against government meddling in businesses but are outraged when one decides for itself what’s best for its employees and customers. They cheer when Hobby Lobby uses its owner’s religion to deny health insurance, but get upset at another business for restricting guns.

The thing is, Walmart has more recent experience with guns in their stores than Tomi Lahren could even imagine she has (which is not a fair example because just what the holy hell is she experienced in?). Last July, a former employee shot and killed two workers in one of their stores. Last month, a white nationalist Trump supporter killed 22 people in one of their El Paso stores.

There are a lot of legitimate reasons not to shop at Walmart (like political donations, low salaries, unfair hiring practices, cheap and crappy imported goods, killing small towns and businesses, only three open checkout lanes, creepy people, etc), but I support them on this decision. I also support their right to continue to sell guns for hunting. Most gun-control proponents aren’t against hunting rifles and shotguns. So if that’s the case, then why give Walmart a hassle over selling them? They stopped selling pistols (except in Alaska until yesterday) and assault weapons years ago.

I don’t expect this to hurt Walmart in the slightest with their customers. Walmart is like crack to people who shop there. They can’t quit it. Walmart’s greatest concern is Amazon.

Yesterday, Walmart’s owners showed they’re willing to confront their base. They showed they have bigger balls than Mitch McConnell, Donald Trump, and the entire Republican Party. Perhaps they should all walk around with enormous assault rifles to overcompensate.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

F’ed Up


cjones09092019

America’s latest mass shooting killed 7 and injured 22.

A 36-year-old man, fired from his job hours earlier on Saturday, led police on a high-speed chase where he fired an AR-15 style assault rifle indiscriminately at motorists and officers. Police initially tried to pull the suspect over for failing to use a turn signal, which turned into a chase that created 15 crime scenes along the highway between Midland and Odessa which included car dealerships and shopping mall. The man hijacked a postal van before he was finally shot and killed in the parking lot of a movie theater.

Those killed raned in age from 15 to 57, including the driver of the postal van. One of the injured was a 17-month-old toddler who is recovering from shrapnel in her chest. This occurred one day before 10 new laws loosening gun restrictions took effect in Texas. Some of the new laws are that renters can’t prohibit guns from being stored or carried onto their properties and schools can’t enforce gun safety rules for staff and visitors.

The governor argued that the new laws were enacted “for the purpose of making the community safer.” The National Rifle Association praised the governor and state legislature for “protecting your Second Amendment rights.” There have been five mass shootings in Texas over the past three years. Apparently, the state with the most guns doesn’t have enough guns yet to make it safe (and the majority of gun owners are white men). Texas has the most lax gun laws in the nation and they haven’t made the connection yet as to why they also lead the country in mass shootings.

Donald Trump said Saturday’s shooting could have been worse and that background checks wouldn’t have stopped Saturday’s shooting spree. Texas Governor Greg Abbott said he was “heartbroken” and “tired of the dying of the people of the state of Texas,” and then he cried about the threat to gun rights.

And then, conservatives and gun owners finally found something about a mass shooting to get upset about. Beto O’Rourke dropped an F-bomb.

O’Rourke told CNN’s Dana Bash. “The rhetoric that we’ve used — the thoughts and prayers that you just referred to — it has done nothing to stop the epidemic of gun violence to protect our kids, our families, our fellow Americans in public places — at a Walmart in El Paso, Texas, where 22 were killed, in Sutherland Springs — in a church. One or two a day all over this country; 100 killed daily in the United States of America. We’re averaging about 300 mass shootings a year. No other country comes close.” And then he said, “So yes, this is fucked up.” He used the word again while campaigning in Virginia.

Immediately, Fox News ran a segment on CNN’s failure to bleep out the F-bomb. Conservatives took to social media, pausing from defending guns, to express outrage at Beto’s profanity.

Beto later tweeted, “Profanity is not the f-bomb. What is profane is a 17 month-old baby being shot in the face.”

Beto’s language isn’t the outrage.

If you’re still defending private ownership of assault weapons, that’s fucked up.

If you’re more upset over talk about gun control than deaths from mass shootings, that’s fucked up.

If you value guns over the lives of children, that’s fucked up.

If you’re a member of the National Rifle Association, that’s fucked up.

If you’re OK that we have to have metal detectors at school entrances and we have to send our children to class in bulletproof backpacks, that’s fucked up.

If you’re more upset over Beto saying “fuck” than you are about murder victims, that’s fucked up.

If you think it’s more upsetting for children to hear the F word on TV than to have to endure coverage of another mass shooting, that’s fucked up.

If you think a mass shooter being shot by a “good guy with a gun” after he kills 26 and injures 20 (Sutherland Springs, Texas, 2017) is proof the “good guy with a gun” argument works, that’s fucked up.

Quite frankly, you “Second Amendment” people’s priorities are fucked up.

The shooters neighbor said, “Although I feel bad about the situation, I feel at ease knowing that he was killed. That tells me the threat has been removed and my family is safe again.”

Here’s the thing. His family isn’t safe again (especially in Texas), and THAT’S FUCKED UP.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

How Did You Spend Your Summer?


CNN09012019

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

For this week’s newsletter, CNN Opinion turned it over to their readers to share how they spent their summer. My editors asked me to come up with something on the topic. This was my very first idea but we weren’t sure if we should go with it as the subject has some overlap with a cartoon I drew for them two weeks ago. Now, I think it’s more than appropriate because events are overlapping.

Yesterday, there was another mass shooting. Another mass shooting in Texas. A gunman killed seven and wounded 22.

A colleague of mine published a cartoon on gun violence a few hours before the El Paso shooting. A lot of readers praised him for his timing. The same thing is happening to me today. But, c’mon. This is America. If you draw a cartoon about gun violence, you have a pretty good (no pun intended) shot of that cartoon landing on the same day as a mass shooting. We’re not psychics. Gun violence is as common in this country as Donald Trump saying something idiotic or racist. There is too much gun violence in this country. Why?

Because it’s too easy to get a gun. Because there are too many guns. Because there are too many people valuing their “gun rights” over lives.

Beto O’Rourke said, “This is fucked up.” I don’t have anything to add to that.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.