Critical Race Theory is teaching how racism throughout our nation’s history impacts us today. Conservative white people are against it. Conservative white people believe it’s persecution against them to teach how they persecuted other people.

The Right, aided by Fox News, has weaponized Critical Race Theory and there are now efforts to ban it, from state legislatures to local school boards. Many yee-haw states have not just outlawed the teaching of Critical Race Theory, but have made it illegal to teach anything that “suggests” America is or ever was a racist nation.

America was a racist nation…and it still is. Now, if you read this blog out loud in a classroom in Tennessee, you could go to jail.

America is still a racist nation and it’s that way thanks to our racist history. Being a racist nation does not mean every person or even the majority of the population of the United States is racist. It doesn’t mean the Klan is on every corner instead of taco trucks (or in Manhattan, Sabrett hot dog carts). America is still a racist nation because systemic racism prevails.

The Electoral College is racist. It was designed to appease slave states during the founding of our nation. Two senators for every state, no matter how small or large the population of each state, was designed to appease slave states. The idea was that each state is equally represented in the United States Senate, but that’s not the case when over 39 million Californians have the same number of senators as the fewer than 500,000 Wyomians. Wyomeans? Wyoomeans? Woo-woos? Fuck it.

We are so racist, we kinda-sorta elected a racist president (sic) in 2016. The fact that over 70 million people voted for that racist in 2020 tells you we still have a problem with racism in this nation. That fact that at least for those 70 million, racism is NOT a deal-breaker, shows we’re a racist nation.

We are so racist, we had a president (sic) mock a political opponent as “Pocahontas,” mocking her ancestry, and continuing to do so after being informed it was racist. We are so racist, when an athlete took a knee during a song to protest racism, without hurting anyone or advocating violence, he got banned for life from his sport. We’re so racist, that we elected a president (sic) who yells, “Fire that sonofabitch” for protesting racism. We are so racist, we had a president (sic) say, “Send them back” about non-white female representatives in Congress. We are so racist, we had a president (sic) say “good people” were marching with tiki-torch neo-Nazis. We are so racist, over 70 million people still voted for that racist president (sic).

Racism prevails in our nation from our legal and political system to business and industry to housing, sports, and entertainment, to education. You need no more proof that we’re a racist nation than the fact Republicans in every state are trying to create laws to make voting harder for black people.

If Republicans have their way, it’ll be illegal to teach anything that implies we are or ever were a racist nation. That means we can’t teach about the slave trade which started before this nation was even a nation. That means we can’t teach about the massacre of Native Americans (in case you’re a Republican, the people who were here first), or the Trail of Tears. We can’t teach about the Civil War. We can’t teach about the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II. We can’t teach that after fighting for their nation, black soldiers came home and returned to the back of the bus. We can’t teach about Rosa Parks who refused to sit in the back of the bus. We can’t teach about MLK. We can’t teach about the Civil Rights Movement or Freedom Summer. We can’t teach about Emmitt Till or Neshoba County, Mississippi. We can’t teach about Mississippi (a yee-haw state). We can’t teach about desegregation or school busing. And finally, we won’t be able to teach about the entire Trump administration and how it separated Latino families at the border and put brown babies into cages. We can’t teach about the racist border wall. We can’t teach how today, Republicans are making it harder for black people to vote. Later, it’ll be illegal to teach how Republicans outlawed teaching black history.

And, we can’t teach that white conservatives smeared our first black president with a racist birther campaign, claiming he wasn’t eligible for the presidency because he was born in Africa. We won’t be able to teach that his successor was the champion of the racist birther campaign.

In the past, we needed the military to escort a little black girl to school in Arkansas (a yee-haw state). We needed the military to escort high school and college students to classes. Are we going to need the National Guard to escort history teachers to class?

Here’s the rub: These Republicans who want to legislate how history is taught suck balls at history. They don’t just suck at having knowledge about events from over 100 years ago, like saying the Civil War wasn’t about slavery or the Democratic Party started the KKK. They suck at very recent shit. They suck at history they lived through.

Republicans think Donald Trump built a great economy, ignoring that he inherited it from President Obama, which is something they lived through. They think Trump made us energy independent. Again, something President Obama accomplished. Our nation has been under an epidemic of stupidity since long before Trump stole the White House. Let’s say it started with Sarah Palin, who thought Queen Elizabeth was still controlling the British government. Today, we have a United States senator (from Alabama, a yee-haw state) who thinks the three branches of government are the House, Senate, and White House. That same senator believes we fought against socialism in World War II. This is why you don’t want football coaches teaching history or serving as United States senators.

Over 50 percent of Republicans, who I bet are all against teaching Critical Race Theory, think Donald Trump won the election. They are crafting laws designed to make it as difficult as possible for black people to vote, designed to decrease votes for Democratic candidates, all based on a lie.

A lot of these same idiots, many who were at the scene, don’t think it was MAGA goons who attacked the Capitol. We even have one senator from Wisconsin (weird, because it’s NOT a yee-haw state) claiming they were tourists and the violent ones were Antifa.

Republicans suck at history. Just yesterday, Republican nutjob and congresspersonthing Marjorie Taylor Greene said she went to the Holocaust Museum and learned that wearing face masks isn’t the same thing as the Holocaust. Marjorie Taylor Greene is 47 years old. That is really late for someone to learn the history of the Holocaust or even something as simple as “bad things happened that can’t be equated to political shit today.” That’s 47 years of stupid. And you may think, “Jesus that’s horrible she got to that age without learning about the Holocaust.” It is horrible but it’s also horrible that there are people in Tulsa, Oklahoma who are just now learning about the Tulsa Massacre of Black Wall Street.

Do you know why people in Tulsa and nationwide are just now learning about that massacre? Because white conservatives didn’t want it taught. But if they get their way, in a lot of yee-haw states like Texas and Oklahoma, it’ll be illegal to teach about the Tulsa Massacre. Yes, teaching Tulsa history will be illegal in Tulsa thanks to Republicans.

Here’s what I think we should do: You want to legislate how we teach history? Fine. But first, you gotta pass a test. We should make federal laws that no elected official nationwide can legislate how history is taught…until they themselves pass a history test. And they have to get 100. In fact, every school board or fucknut who stands up to rant about Critical Race Theory at a school board or city council meeting must first pass a history test.

First question: Who won the election?

Creative note: I had two other concepts in mind I was trying to choose between. One, I had future Republicans outlawing teaching what present Republicans are doing…and then Matt Davies kinda used the same concept. So, I was going to fall back on my other concept which was a multi-panel thing of “Critical White History,” and it would contain reimagined event from the white conservative perspective…then Jack Ohman did a cartoon doing exactly that. Being “robbed” of both of those concepts by those jackals Davies and Ohman (the dingos will eat your baby) led me to finding another one…which is today’s cartoon.

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