History

Legislate History


 

cjones06182021

Critical Race Theory is teaching how racism throughout our nation’s history impacts us today. Conservative white people are against it. Conservative white people believe it’s persecution against them to teach how they persecuted other people.

The Right, aided by Fox News, has weaponized Critical Race Theory and there are now efforts to ban it, from state legislatures to local school boards. Many yee-haw states have not just outlawed the teaching of Critical Race Theory, but have made it illegal to teach anything that “suggests” America is or ever was a racist nation.

America was a racist nation…and it still is. Now, if you read this blog out loud in a classroom in Tennessee, you could go to jail.

America is still a racist nation and it’s that way thanks to our racist history. Being a racist nation does not mean every person or even the majority of the population of the United States is racist. It doesn’t mean the Klan is on every corner instead of taco trucks (or in Manhattan, Sabrett hot dog carts). America is still a racist nation because systemic racism prevails.

The Electoral College is racist. It was designed to appease slave states during the founding of our nation. Two senators for every state, no matter how small or large the population of each state, was designed to appease slave states. The idea was that each state is equally represented in the United States Senate, but that’s not the case when over 39 million Californians have the same number of senators as the fewer than 500,000 Wyomians. Wyomeans? Wyoomeans? Woo-woos? Fuck it.

We are so racist, we kinda-sorta elected a racist president (sic) in 2016. The fact that over 70 million people voted for that racist in 2020 tells you we still have a problem with racism in this nation. That fact that at least for those 70 million, racism is NOT a deal-breaker, shows we’re a racist nation.

We are so racist, we had a president (sic) mock a political opponent as “Pocahontas,” mocking her ancestry, and continuing to do so after being informed it was racist. We are so racist, when an athlete took a knee during a song to protest racism, without hurting anyone or advocating violence, he got banned for life from his sport. We’re so racist, that we elected a president (sic) who yells, “Fire that sonofabitch” for protesting racism. We are so racist, we had a president (sic) say, “Send them back” about non-white female representatives in Congress. We are so racist, we had a president (sic) say “good people” were marching with tiki-torch neo-Nazis. We are so racist, over 70 million people still voted for that racist president (sic).

Racism prevails in our nation from our legal and political system to business and industry to housing, sports, and entertainment, to education. You need no more proof that we’re a racist nation than the fact Republicans in every state are trying to create laws to make voting harder for black people.

If Republicans have their way, it’ll be illegal to teach anything that implies we are or ever were a racist nation. That means we can’t teach about the slave trade which started before this nation was even a nation. That means we can’t teach about the massacre of Native Americans (in case you’re a Republican, the people who were here first), or the Trail of Tears. We can’t teach about the Civil War. We can’t teach about the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II. We can’t teach that after fighting for their nation, black soldiers came home and returned to the back of the bus. We can’t teach about Rosa Parks who refused to sit in the back of the bus. We can’t teach about MLK. We can’t teach about the Civil Rights Movement or Freedom Summer. We can’t teach about Emmitt Till or Neshoba County, Mississippi. We can’t teach about Mississippi (a yee-haw state). We can’t teach about desegregation or school busing. And finally, we won’t be able to teach about the entire Trump administration and how it separated Latino families at the border and put brown babies into cages. We can’t teach about the racist border wall. We can’t teach how today, Republicans are making it harder for black people to vote. Later, it’ll be illegal to teach how Republicans outlawed teaching black history.

And, we can’t teach that white conservatives smeared our first black president with a racist birther campaign, claiming he wasn’t eligible for the presidency because he was born in Africa. We won’t be able to teach that his successor was the champion of the racist birther campaign.

In the past, we needed the military to escort a little black girl to school in Arkansas (a yee-haw state). We needed the military to escort high school and college students to classes. Are we going to need the National Guard to escort history teachers to class?

Here’s the rub: These Republicans who want to legislate how history is taught suck balls at history. They don’t just suck at having knowledge about events from over 100 years ago, like saying the Civil War wasn’t about slavery or the Democratic Party started the KKK. They suck at very recent shit. They suck at history they lived through.

Republicans think Donald Trump built a great economy, ignoring that he inherited it from President Obama, which is something they lived through. They think Trump made us energy independent. Again, something President Obama accomplished. Our nation has been under an epidemic of stupidity since long before Trump stole the White House. Let’s say it started with Sarah Palin, who thought Queen Elizabeth was still controlling the British government. Today, we have a United States senator (from Alabama, a yee-haw state) who thinks the three branches of government are the House, Senate, and White House. That same senator believes we fought against socialism in World War II. This is why you don’t want football coaches teaching history or serving as United States senators.

Over 50 percent of Republicans, who I bet are all against teaching Critical Race Theory, think Donald Trump won the election. They are crafting laws designed to make it as difficult as possible for black people to vote, designed to decrease votes for Democratic candidates, all based on a lie.

A lot of these same idiots, many who were at the scene, don’t think it was MAGA goons who attacked the Capitol. We even have one senator from Wisconsin (weird, because it’s NOT a yee-haw state) claiming they were tourists and the violent ones were Antifa.

Republicans suck at history. Just yesterday, Republican nutjob and congresspersonthing Marjorie Taylor Greene said she went to the Holocaust Museum and learned that wearing face masks isn’t the same thing as the Holocaust. Marjorie Taylor Greene is 47 years old. That is really late for someone to learn the history of the Holocaust or even something as simple as “bad things happened that can’t be equated to political shit today.” That’s 47 years of stupid. And you may think, “Jesus that’s horrible she got to that age without learning about the Holocaust.” It is horrible but it’s also horrible that there are people in Tulsa, Oklahoma who are just now learning about the Tulsa Massacre of Black Wall Street.

Do you know why people in Tulsa and nationwide are just now learning about that massacre? Because white conservatives didn’t want it taught. But if they get their way, in a lot of yee-haw states like Texas and Oklahoma, it’ll be illegal to teach about the Tulsa Massacre. Yes, teaching Tulsa history will be illegal in Tulsa thanks to Republicans.

Here’s what I think we should do: You want to legislate how we teach history? Fine. But first, you gotta pass a test. We should make federal laws that no elected official nationwide can legislate how history is taught…until they themselves pass a history test. And they have to get 100. In fact, every school board or fucknut who stands up to rant about Critical Race Theory at a school board or city council meeting must first pass a history test.

First question: Who won the election?

Creative note: I had two other concepts in mind I was trying to choose between. One, I had future Republicans outlawing teaching what present Republicans are doing…and then Matt Davies kinda used the same concept. So, I was going to fall back on my other concept which was a multi-panel thing of “Critical White History,” and it would contain reimagined event from the white conservative perspective…then Jack Ohman did a cartoon doing exactly that. Being “robbed” of both of those concepts by those jackals Davies and Ohman (the dingos will eat your baby) led me to finding another one…which is today’s cartoon.

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Churchill, FDR…Trump?


cjones09162020

If you want to be compared to great people, then do great things. If you do that, then other people will compare you to great people and you won’t have to do it yourself.

That’s exactly why Donald Trump has to compare himself to greatness…because nobody else will. At it stands now, some of the most popular nicknames for Trump are Hair Fuhrer, Twitler, and Il Douchey.

After it was revealed Donald Trump intentionally downplayed the coronavirus and continued lying to the public, he defended himself by saying he didn’t want people to panic. Some of his own people, like spokesgoon Kayleigh McEnany, said he didn’t downplay it while he’s on the Woodward recording literally saying he was likes downplaying it and will continue to do so.

Donald Trump is arguing that “downplaying” the dangers of the virus, like telling people it was less dangerous than the flu even though he knew that was a huge and dangerous lie, was real leadership. Why, it was leadership on the scale of Winston Churchill and Franklin Delano Roosevelt during World War II.

Donald Trump made the argument, that he was protecting the public, ironically at a Trump rally which always turns out to be covid parties. Donald Trump will kill you, like he killed Herman Cain, to stay in power.

What Donald Trump is doing is trying to absolve himself of culpability in the death of over 190,000 Americans. Another great leader, President Teddy Roosevelt, said, “The buck stops here.” With Trump, the buck is pushed onto someone else to pay.

Barking at his hate rally like he tends to do, Trump compared himself to the greatness of Churchill and FDR, while lying. The thing is, those two leaders leveled with their people.

Sure, when at war, you don’t tell the public everything, but Americans knew Japan caused huge damage at Pearl Harbor and thousands of sailors were dead. The English knew of the huge retreat at Dunkirk and there was no hiding the Blitz, the German bombing campaign of England.

Comparing himself to Churchill, the barking lunatic said, “We have to be calm. We don’t want to be crazed lunatics. … When Hitler was bombing London, Churchill, a great leader, would oftentimes go to a roof in London and speak. And he always spoke with calmness.”

No. Churchill did observe the bombings from a rooftop at times, but he never gave a speech during them. Hey, can everybody ignore the bombings for a minute and listen to what I have to say? I assure you, it’ll be calm and eloquent. Also, “crazed lunatics?” What sort of lunatics should we be?

If you want a real comparison between Churchill and Twitler, I mean Trump…Churchill went to the rooftops while Nazis were dropping bombs on his city. When there were loud protesters outside the White House, Donald Trump hid in the bunker. Later he said he was only “inspecting” it, which is what a teenage boy says when he gets caught doing you know what in the shower.

In 1940, Churchill told his people, “”We have before us many, many long months of struggle and suffering.” Donald Trump told us the virus would disappear by April and “anyone who needs a test gets a test.” Donald Trump called it a “Democratic hoax.” Donald Trump said it wasn’t worse than the flu. Donald Trump told us kids are “virtually immune.” Donald Trump told us to drink bleach.

Instead of telling us we have “many long months of struggle and suffering,” Trump told us to go shopping, go to church, go to school, and go to political hate rallies.

FDR told us, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” With pardoned Trump goon Roger Stone saying Donald Trump should declare martial law and arrest all his enemies if he loses the election, the biggest thing we have to fear now is Cheeto Hitler retaining power by any means necessary.

Donald Trump told Bob Woodward he likes dictators more than democratically-elected leaders. That alone should tell you we don’t want Trump to have a second term.

Donald Trump pales in comparison to leaders like Churchill, FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, Lincoln, and even Ronald Reagan. His favorite president, racist murdering Andrew Jackson, tells you all you need to know.

Who you can compare Trump to are people like Hitler, Mussolini, Idi Amin, Kim Jong Un, Saddam Hussein, and Muammar Gaddafi.

Donald Trump is no Churchill. He’s no FDR. If he retains power, he’ll become America’s first dictator.

Correction: It was President Harry Truman who said, “The buck stops here,” not Teddy Roosevelt. I knew that so I don’t know why I mucked it up. Shout-out to Shari for the correction in an email.

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Putin Puppet History


cjones12222019

Republicans, including Donald Trump, claimed history won’t be kind to Democrats for the way they’ve treated Trump. In case you haven’t noticed, Republicans suck at history. Hell, they suck with their own history.

Here’s what we know: Vladimir Putin and Russia helped Donald Trump win the election. Russia meddled. Donald Trump knew Russia was helping him. His campaign even invited Russians into his campaign headquarters. Did they ever call the FBI? Nope. Instead, they scream about the FBI’s surveillance on suspected Russian spies and they never say anything about the suspects. His campaign tried to establish a back-channel with Moscow. Donald Trump has never voiced any opposition to Putin meddling in the 2016 election. History will remember all of this.

Republicans know Russia meddled. Instead of attacking Russia, they’re attacking the FBI, Democrats, and helping Vladimir Putin spread a conspiracy theory he created that Ukraine meddled in our election. It was reported this morning Trump’s “evidence” that Ukraine meddled in our election, according to a White House aide, is because “Putin told me.” History will remember this.

During a news conference this week in Moscow, Putin said stuff echoed by Moscow Mitch McConnell and other Republicans.

Vladimir Putin said the impeachment charges against Trump are “completely made up.” Putin also said, “The Democratic Party, which lost the elections, is now trying to revise this history through the means that they have at their disposal, first by accusing Trump of collusion with Russia. But then it turned out there was no collusion. It could not form the basis for impeachment, and now there is this made-up pressure on Ukraine,” said the guy who invaded, stole Crimea from, and created conspiracy theories about Ukraine.

Putin also said, “It’s unlikely they will want to remove their party member from office based on what are, in my opinion, completely fabricated reasons.” Putin’s argument was echoed repeatedly by Republicans on Wednesday before the vote to impeach Donald Trump. History will remember Republicans were in lockstep with a Russian tyrant who attacked their country.

Republicans point out the vote was totally partisan while missing the fact that every single member of one party voting the same is in itself partisan. History will remember this. As more facts come out about Trump’s corruption and probably encouraging more nations to help his campaign, history will remember the entire Republican Party became a cult and put idol worship before their nation.

History will remember that several Democrats from congressional districts Trump won put country first and bravely voted for impeachment. History will remember there wasn’t one single Republican in Congress willing to stand up for his/her nation.

History will remember Putin predicted exactly what the Republican Senate would do. Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and Ted Cruz proclaim loudly that they are not impartial witnesses and will conduct a sham trial, then saying it’s “comical” Nancy Pelosi is holding off sending them the impeachment for them to conduct their sham trial. History will remember that.

History will remember the president of the United States, who is currently pushing back on a wide-ranging piece of legislation meant to deter and punish Putin’s aggression and his interference in the 2016 election and has called for Russia to be readmitted to the G8, is Putin’s puppet. History will also record that the entirety of the Republican congress is Putin’s puppet.

What’s up to Republicans in the United States Senate is if history will record that every single one of them was also Putin’s Puppet.

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The LDS Church’s Exclusive History


utah05172015

This week’s cartoon for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

The church is currently threatening to excommunicate members who are gay. I was wondering how well they’ll look in history for this decision. Considering they didn’t allow black members into the priesthood until 1978, and something they resisted heavily before then, it seems to me they don’t learn from history. It’s like they’re saying “yeah, we were wrong that one time and though this is the exact same thing it’s not the exact same thing.” Good luck with that.

Here’s the rough. You’ll notice I made a few changes upon editors’ advice.

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