critical race theory

Confederate Whiners


Cjones07172021

The American Civil War has been over for 156 years, and last week, the Confederacy lost another battle.

Confederate monuments were taken down in Charlottesville, Virginia Saturday morning. As you recall, unless you’re a MAGA fucknut, Charlottesville is where a bunch of white nationalists and neo-Nazis held an event to save these racist monuments, an event they called “Unite the Right.” It was a violent hootenanny where racists attacked counter protesters and Nazis marched with tiki torches while chanting, “Jews will not replace us, and “blood and soil.” A white supremacist racist fuck also murdered Heather Heyer, a counter protester. There were also 49 non-fatal injuries with 35 of those coming from people being rammed by a racist’s car.

After the event, Donald Trump tried to equate the racist fucks with the peaceful protesters by arguing the Nazis, led by Nazi-lover Richard Spencer, had a permit and that there “very fine people on both sides.” His supporters say he never praised Nazis but c’mon. Fine people don’t march with Nazis, even when they’re not chanting shit like, “Jews will not replace us.” People, he praised Nazis.

The Unite the Right goons weren’t about preserving history or saving statues as much as they were about having a racist pep rally. The statues were just an excuse for their hillbilly jamboree.

Four years after this haterfest, Charlottesville has finally removed the statues of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson. And the same people screaming to save these statues are having shit fits over critical race theory, and they don’t even know what that is.

Right wingers are good at screaming what they think critical race theory is. They tell us it’s racist, Marxist, communist, etc, and they don’t even know what those mean. I hear conservatives scream that critical race theory is hatred toward whites. OK, so what does it say about you with your argument to only teach white history? Does that mean the people who want to prevent critical race theory being taught hate black people?

I don’t think they hate black people as much as they hate their white privilege being replaced. In Charlottesville in 2017, they literally chanted about being replaced. Boo-hoo.

Racists fought to save these statues which aren’t as much monuments to history as they are to treason and racism. Most of these statues were erected during times of increased racial strife in our nation. If there’s a Confederate monument in your yee-haw town, ask what year it was commissioned. I bet you a Confederate dollar it was around 1915 or during the Civil Rights movement. The Robert E. Lee statue in Charlottesville was commissioned in 1917. The racist film, Birth of a Nation, came out in 1915, the year of the Ku Klux Klan’s rebirth. Did you know that? If not, maybe they should teach that in school.

They should teach that in school as well as teaching about our founding fathers and how a lot of them owned slaves when they signed a document for “American freedom” stating, “All men are created equal.” Schools should teach the real history of the Alamo and not just let a John Wayne movie suffice (where the film features Jim Bowie’s loyal slave, but in reality, William Travis’ slave, Sam, survived and later escaped slavery. The movie didn’t teach you that). They should teach about the internment of Japanese Americans. They should teach how our nation acquired the land and who white settlers took it from. We shouldn’t stop teaching our children about black contributions to this nation when we get to Jesse Owens. Do you recall being taught about Frederick Douglass? Do you recall WHAT they taught you about Frederick Douglass?

The truth is, our nation was built on the broken backs of black Americans. They were not prisoners with jobs. They were not immigrants given jobs and free housing as soon as they got off the boat. We need to teach what happened with black human beings in our nation from 1619 to Tulsa to the Civil Rights movement to Freedom Summer to Thurgood Marshall to Martin Luther King Jr to Malcolm X to President Barack Obama.

Conservatives say we need these Confederate statues to teach history, but if that was the case, then why aren’t there any statues of Ulysses S. Grant in the south? There are statues of Jefferson Davis in the south, but how many statues of Abraham Lincoln? And are you so sure we need statues to learn? I mean, I don’t see any algebra statues but we still learned that shit.

A good sign you don’t really care about history lessons but instead, you’re a racist, is if you’re screaming to save these statues and you’re from the north. Richard Spencer, the white supremacist who organized the Charlottesville hate rally, is from Massachusetts. The racist president who screamed to save these statues is from New York City.

I have white privilege. I had it all my life and I had it when I didn’t know I had it…or what it was. I had it when I wasn’t feeling very privileged…but I still had it. Removing these statues isn’t going to take that away…or my history. I’m not worried about being replaced or afraid that one day soon, I won’t be in the majority. But this scares the living shit out of white racists. They’re afraid they’re going to lose their privilege and entitlement. Teaching history about all Americans, not just the white ones, will not replace you.

Uneducated racist people are not going to be replaced…even though it’d be awesome if they were.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Scaredy MAGAts


Cjones07062021

In the comments under yesterday’s cartoon on Instagram, I was called a “libtard.” I didn’t think it was that special though it’s been a while since someone has hurled that bigoted and ignorant insult in my direction. And I didn’t just get it once. I got it four times. It amused me so I tweeted about it…which lead to me being called the word about 17 more more times on Twitter.

First off, to the liberals who replied that I should throw it back at them with something like “Trumptard,” you’re missing the point. We don’t sink to their level and you don’t fight bigotry with bigotry. If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll be more direct: Don’t use the word, “tard.” Don’t justify it.

Normally, goons call me something like “snowflake.” They think that’s clever. It’s been over four years but that still gets chuckles from them. I love that they use that word, because it’s another example of conservative projection. You see, conservatives are cowards to the point they’re afraid of tiny little thing, like a gay player in the NFL, to the “WAP” song, to losing their white privilege, and to things that don’t even exist, like Jewish Space Lasers.

For example: Republicans have been screaming about communism and Sharia law for years, yet it hasn’t happened here. Another example of projection is their campaigning for their own version of Sharia law.

And if you don’t believe me that Republicans are huge cowards and are constantly snowflaking about shit, just turn on Tucker. He cries about everything and especially if it’s stuff that doesn’t exist. He is the center of the cowardly universe for Republicans who tune in nightly to see what they should be afraid of tomorrow.

This July 4th, fireworks may send your sweet doggy hiding underneath your bed out of fear and anxiety, but Bowser ain’t got nothing on Tucker. Tucker probably sleeps under his bed every night, and unlike in this cartoon, he probably takes the Trumpy Bear with him. And, if you have named your dog after Tucker, that is animal cruelty.

Right now, Republicans have so much to be afraid of that will never hurt them. Stuff like Critical Race Theory, Jewish Space Lasers, Italian satellites, Chinese bamboo ballots, Levar Burton hosting Jeopardy!, gay football players, Ilhan Omar, Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris, Hilary Clinton, Sandra Fluke (let’s bring her back), Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (women in general), Juneteenth, trans athletes (this is the hot one for the moment), taking down Confederate statues, Black Lives Matter, Antifa, woke generals, and me. Actually, I’m the only one you should be afraid of and I’m coming to getcha.

When I started this cartoon, I already had some of these topics in my head…but I needed to be reminded what else they’re afraid of, which forced me to look at some stuff I didn’t want to look at.

Lately, I’ve been trying to cut negativity out of my life. That means no looking at Trumper pages on social media, no looking at conservative political cartoons, and no watching Fox News, which I never do anyway. But, to see the current fears, I had to go look at some. It was either that or call one of my MAGAt sisters. No thanks!

First thing I did was check out the Facebook page of one cartoonist, who is not my friend, but is afraid of everything and is always posting about it. He’s on the pulse of right-wing bullshit which can come in helpful for research. Right now his main fears are the vaccine, trans people, and President Biden whispering. He’s also afraid of having his white privilege taken away and it’s obvious he hates black people. He also has a weird Led Zeppelin fetish. It is weird for a 60-year-old man to post 18 shirtless-Robert Plant pictures a day, right?

Then I looked at some cartoons from a bunch of them and…HOLY SHIT!!!!! Did you hear about this trans thing? Apparently, they’re going to shower with us, win beauty pageants, and steal gold medals at the Olympics. This is a major crisis in conservative media. Also, they’re never watching the NFL again…again.

And then, I did what I really didn’t want to do. I went to Breitbart. Ugh. Breitbart used to, and maybe they still do, have an entire section devoted to “black on black crime.” It’s like the racist section but they couldn’t call it the “racist” section. Today’s headlines at the Breitbart include scary stories about trans people, black people, CNN, Critical Race Theory, Biden eating ice cream (that sonofabitch!), gays, more trans people, another Critical Race Theory story, covid this and covid that, immigrants, more trans people, more Critical Race Theory, more immigrants, more black people, more trans people, Critical Race Theory again, and Tucker Carlson is probably right about being spied on by the NSA…and more trans stories. Nothing about aliens, at least not on the front page.

Conservatives are really afraid of EVERYTHING. They need help for their anxiety but I can’t find anything on the web about how to soothe and calm a MAGAt suffering from loud noises. So, I decided to take the tips for dogs suffering from firework anxiety and apply it to dumbass racist Republican conspiracy theorists. Maybe one of these can keep your MAGAt from scurrying under your bed and piddling. MAGAt piddle is just the worst.

Tip 1: Ask your vet for a sedative. I’m sure any sedative designed for your fur baby will also work on your MAGAt baby. Just don’t be tempted to give them the entire bottle because it’ll sure be nice if you don’t see them for a few days. I understand the temptation. Also, don’t hit them in the head with a hammer, though again, I understand the temptation.

Tip 2: Hold them close and say, “shhhh. It’ll be alright. AOC isn’t coming to get you.” This may not work as nobody wants to hold a MAGAt close to their own body. Ew.

Tip 3: Give them a treat. Raw bacon, waffle fries from Chick-fil-A, a sandwich from Cheesecake Factory, or just a block of raw butter from Cracker Barrell may get them excited long enough not to notice CNN ran a special on the Tulsa Massacre.

Tip 4: Belly rubs. MAGAts love a good belly tickle. But once again, this would mean you have to touch them. Also, most MAGAts are sticky. You’ve been warned.

Tip 5: Tell them you’re trans. They’ll probably jump out the window and you’ll never see them again. That advice wasn’t on the doggy site because people love dogs and want to see them again. Have you ever heard of anyone adopting a lost MAGAt? No, you have not.

Tip 6: Buy your MAGAt a one-way bus trip to Jacksonville and let him be their problem. Jacksonville won’t notice. It’s not like they’ll say, “Hey, have you noticed Jacksonville has been a lot more Jacksonvilley?”

Tip 7: Turn off Fox News. You shouldn’t let your dog watch Fox News either as that’s animal cruelty.

Tip 8: The doggy site says to familiarize your pet to the sounds, but I think if you repeat “Ilhan Omar” too often, your MAGAt may leap into a ceiling fan. But then again, win-win except for the mess. MAGAts are sticky on the inside too…we think. It may just be a lot of coal.

Tip 9: Did I mention the one-way bus ticket to Jacksonville? I did? Never mind.

Tip 10: Distraction: Someone should produce and sell mobiles with Trump’s face on them. If you put that above a MAGAts bed, he may not notice anything else. See if you can work some Benadryl into the baby bottle.

Tip 11: Ball gag.

Tip 12: Get him a Thundershirt. Be warned, they don’t work on everybody. For instance, they don’t work on Beagles. But, Beagles are way smarter than MAGAts and are fooled less easily. You never heard a Beagle bitch about immigration…unless you immigrated a cat into the house. Speaking of cats, there are Thundershirts for cats. Putting a Thundershit on a MAGAt has gotta be a hell of a lot easier than putting a shirt on a cat. Also, thundershirts use velcro, so like a MAGAts shoes, they may be able to put them on by themselves. As I recall though, you had to slide arms in, fold one piece over another, then fold the piece that has the velcro…never mind. It’s way too complicated for a MAGAt and you’re gonna have to help him.

If none of these work, there’s the hammer idea and you can probably get that one-way bus ticket to Jacksonville for about $80.00. Hell, that’s twice the price of a Thundershirt.

Last tip: Stop with the fireworks. What are you, six? Get over it already.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Republican Backflips


Cjones06222021

Bear with me because I’m about to write a little about gymnastics, and I don’t know anything about gymnastics. I probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a backflip and a Yurchenko double pike. But then again, it seems USA Gymnastics may not know the difference either.

Simone Biles is the greatest gymnast in the history of gymnastics. In fact, in the world of gymnastics at the age of 24, she’s old. But that doesn’t seem to matter to Simone because nobody can do what she does.

Last month at the U.S. Classic, Simone Biles performed a move that had never been attempted before by a female gymnast at a competition…and she crushed it. The Yurchenko double pike is a difficult, and dangerous move, that nobody else is probably even training to perform. As The New York Times describes it, to execute it (this is where I cut and paste), a gymnast first must launch herself into a roundoff back handspring onto the vaulting table, and then propel herself high enough to give herself time to flip twice in a pike position (body folded, legs straight) before landing on her feet.

Did you understand any of that? I did. It means it’s hard. I think I pulled a hammy just watching her do it. At this point, she’s competing against herself. After she did the move, the crowed went wild and the judges…eh. They gave her a score of 6.6, which is a provisional similar to scores for her other moves. They didn’t give her any points for the difficulty of the move. In the past, they’ve given low scores to other moves Biles can do that no one else can. Why? Because no one else can.

They’re giving low scores to Biles for these amazing moves to discourage them from ever being done. Basically, Simone Biles is being punished for being too good. Do you remember when they did the same thing to Michael Phelps when he was competing, basically against himself as well, because like Simone, he’s the GOAT of his sport.

You don’t remember Phelps being punished because he wasn’t. Well, he was once for smoking pot which really should have been an added boost to his competition. If anything, the Olympic committee should have made Phelps smoke more pot just to give the other swimmers an advantage. Michael Phelps wasn’t just better because he worked harder, but because he has genetical differences that make him better. He’s tall with arms too long for his body, legs too short, and his feet and hands are basically flippers. In fact, Flipper probably couldn’t beat Phelps…even after Phelps smoked a bowl and consumed two bags of Doritos.

In Simone’s case, they changed the rules for a black person. If all of Michael Jordan’s competition looked like Larry Byrd, they probably would have changed the rules for him too, probably to something like having to dribble while flying through the air or some shit.

Now, will this be taught in the future (not the air-dribbling shit)? Not if Republicans have their way. Republicans in several states are banning the teaching of Critical Race Theory, or as they put it, anything that teaches this nation may be a racist country. Yesterday, President Joe Biden signed a bill making Juneteenth the 11th federal holiday, and the first since Martin Luther King Day was created back in 1986. On the bill’s way to the president’s desk, 14 Republicans in the House voted against it.

The reasons these 14 Republicans have given are incredibly stupid. Some say they were in favor of the holiday but didn’t like it being referred to as “independence day.” Uh, because it’s not your independence day? Republicans, July 4, 1776, was NOT a day of independence for all Americans. Didn’t they teach you that?

Juneteenth celebrates the events of June 19, 1865, when Maj. Gen. Gordon Granger informed enslaved African Americans in Galveston, Texas, the Civil War had ended and they were free. In case you’re a Republican, he told them they were no longer prisoners with jobs. For many black Americans, this is their independence day. This is their July 4. But, because you think it doesn’t affect you then it shouldn’t be recognized? Should we bury it along with the Tulsa Massacre?

Congressman Andy Biggs from Arizona voted against the holiday and said, “They weaponize this bill like they weaponize everything else.” He must think it’s like a face mask to wear during a pandemic.

Tennessee’s Scott DesJarlais voted against it because, “it is fiscally irresponsible to continue to create new paid holidays for federal workers while the majority of hard-working private-sector employees get left to pay the bill.” Does he even know what he’s talking about?

Paul Gosar, another idiot from Arizona, said, “Juneteenth is more debunked Critical Race Theory in action.” How is Juneteenth debunked? Does he know what he’s talking about?

Ronny Jackson….wait. Did you forget about this guy? I did. Yeah, Trump’s former physician who told us Trump only weighed 243 pounds and also lied about his height, is unfortunately a congressman now. He said he voted against the bill because he doesn’t support more paid time off for federal workers. Dr. Ronny represents a district in Texas, the same state that gave us Ted Cruz and Louie Gohmert.

Thomas Massie, a goober from Kentucky, said, “Naming this day ‘National Independence Day’ would create confusion and push Americans to pick one of those two days as their independence day based on their racial identity.” You mean, some Americans may not want to identify with the independence day that did not give their ancestors independence? Somebody get ahold of Representative Massie, grab both sides of his face, put your face within two inches of his, good god don’t kiss him, and repeat the last sentence.

At this point, I’m surprised Marjorie Taylor Greene didn’t vote against it because calling it “Independence day” will only distract us from the accomplishment of Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullman repelling the 1995 alien invasion.

Here’s the thing about that: Americans are not forced to choose their independence day based on their race. That choice was made for them hundreds of years ago…and it was made by white people. You would know that if you took a real history course.

What Republicans don’t like about black history in America is that it’s American history. You can’t have American history without the contributions made by black Americans. And you don’t have it without the tragedy inflicted upon black Americans. Republicans don’t want it taught and they don’t want to acknowledge it.

Congressman Tom McClintock, who voted against the bill said, “I don’t believe it’s healthy to reach into the dead past, revive its most malevolent conflicts and reintroduce them into our age.” Ignorance isn’t healthy either, Congressman. Neither is stupidity and racism.

Matt Rosendale, who is, unfortunately for Montana, that state’s only congressperson, said, “This isn’t an effort to commemorate emancipation, it’s very clearly tied to the larger hard-left agenda to enshrine the racial history of this country as the prime aspect of our national story.” Hey, he gets it, or at least part of it.

YES! It is an agenda to enshrine the racial history of this country as an important aspect of our national story. Thanks for saying the quiet part out loud…and that you have a problem with black history, you fucking racist fuck.

Funny thing: None of these representatives has a problem with Christmas being a federal holiday even though it’s discriminatory on religion, gives federal workers another day off, and is based totally on myths. I mean, we don’t even know what day Jesus was actually born or if he was even Jesus. He could have been a guy who just preached a lot. At least with Juneteenth, we know what day that happened. Christmas may even be unconstitutional, but good luck to the politician who campaigns on that one. If you think they’re giving Ilhan Omar a hard time now, wait until you see what happens to the poor schmoe who promotes de-federalizing Christmas.

Christmas as a federal holiday is forcing non-Christians to acknowledge Christmas, which most probably don’t mind (just don’t make me eat ham or listen to Hall and Oates’ “Jingle Bell Rock” and we’re good). Now, Republicans are afraid Juneteenth will force white people to acknowledge black history while all along, they’ve been shoving white history down everyone’s throats. These same fuckers probably believe the battle of the Alamo was about a bunch of freedom-loving (slave-owning) Texans being persecuted by Mexico. By the way, John Wayne was a HUGE racist. Look into it.

If we ever successfully remove these racists, whether judging gymnastics, legislating history, or voting against black history in the United States Congress with excuses like it’s “weaponized” or “unhealthy,” that day will be our independence day. It’ll be the day we’re liberated from troglodyte knuckle-dragging cave-dwelling Cheesecake Factory-loving Fox News-watching racist assholes who all probably just rolled off their moms.

And that should be a federal holiday.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Legislate History


 

cjones06182021

Critical Race Theory is teaching how racism throughout our nation’s history impacts us today. Conservative white people are against it. Conservative white people believe it’s persecution against them to teach how they persecuted other people.

The Right, aided by Fox News, has weaponized Critical Race Theory and there are now efforts to ban it, from state legislatures to local school boards. Many yee-haw states have not just outlawed the teaching of Critical Race Theory, but have made it illegal to teach anything that “suggests” America is or ever was a racist nation.

America was a racist nation…and it still is. Now, if you read this blog out loud in a classroom in Tennessee, you could go to jail.

America is still a racist nation and it’s that way thanks to our racist history. Being a racist nation does not mean every person or even the majority of the population of the United States is racist. It doesn’t mean the Klan is on every corner instead of taco trucks (or in Manhattan, Sabrett hot dog carts). America is still a racist nation because systemic racism prevails.

The Electoral College is racist. It was designed to appease slave states during the founding of our nation. Two senators for every state, no matter how small or large the population of each state, was designed to appease slave states. The idea was that each state is equally represented in the United States Senate, but that’s not the case when over 39 million Californians have the same number of senators as the fewer than 500,000 Wyomians. Wyomeans? Wyoomeans? Woo-woos? Fuck it.

We are so racist, we kinda-sorta elected a racist president (sic) in 2016. The fact that over 70 million people voted for that racist in 2020 tells you we still have a problem with racism in this nation. That fact that at least for those 70 million, racism is NOT a deal-breaker, shows we’re a racist nation.

We are so racist, we had a president (sic) mock a political opponent as “Pocahontas,” mocking her ancestry, and continuing to do so after being informed it was racist. We are so racist, when an athlete took a knee during a song to protest racism, without hurting anyone or advocating violence, he got banned for life from his sport. We’re so racist, that we elected a president (sic) who yells, “Fire that sonofabitch” for protesting racism. We are so racist, we had a president (sic) say, “Send them back” about non-white female representatives in Congress. We are so racist, we had a president (sic) say “good people” were marching with tiki-torch neo-Nazis. We are so racist, over 70 million people still voted for that racist president (sic).

Racism prevails in our nation from our legal and political system to business and industry to housing, sports, and entertainment, to education. You need no more proof that we’re a racist nation than the fact Republicans in every state are trying to create laws to make voting harder for black people.

If Republicans have their way, it’ll be illegal to teach anything that implies we are or ever were a racist nation. That means we can’t teach about the slave trade which started before this nation was even a nation. That means we can’t teach about the massacre of Native Americans (in case you’re a Republican, the people who were here first), or the Trail of Tears. We can’t teach about the Civil War. We can’t teach about the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II. We can’t teach that after fighting for their nation, black soldiers came home and returned to the back of the bus. We can’t teach about Rosa Parks who refused to sit in the back of the bus. We can’t teach about MLK. We can’t teach about the Civil Rights Movement or Freedom Summer. We can’t teach about Emmitt Till or Neshoba County, Mississippi. We can’t teach about Mississippi (a yee-haw state). We can’t teach about desegregation or school busing. And finally, we won’t be able to teach about the entire Trump administration and how it separated Latino families at the border and put brown babies into cages. We can’t teach about the racist border wall. We can’t teach how today, Republicans are making it harder for black people to vote. Later, it’ll be illegal to teach how Republicans outlawed teaching black history.

And, we can’t teach that white conservatives smeared our first black president with a racist birther campaign, claiming he wasn’t eligible for the presidency because he was born in Africa. We won’t be able to teach that his successor was the champion of the racist birther campaign.

In the past, we needed the military to escort a little black girl to school in Arkansas (a yee-haw state). We needed the military to escort high school and college students to classes. Are we going to need the National Guard to escort history teachers to class?

Here’s the rub: These Republicans who want to legislate how history is taught suck balls at history. They don’t just suck at having knowledge about events from over 100 years ago, like saying the Civil War wasn’t about slavery or the Democratic Party started the KKK. They suck at very recent shit. They suck at history they lived through.

Republicans think Donald Trump built a great economy, ignoring that he inherited it from President Obama, which is something they lived through. They think Trump made us energy independent. Again, something President Obama accomplished. Our nation has been under an epidemic of stupidity since long before Trump stole the White House. Let’s say it started with Sarah Palin, who thought Queen Elizabeth was still controlling the British government. Today, we have a United States senator (from Alabama, a yee-haw state) who thinks the three branches of government are the House, Senate, and White House. That same senator believes we fought against socialism in World War II. This is why you don’t want football coaches teaching history or serving as United States senators.

Over 50 percent of Republicans, who I bet are all against teaching Critical Race Theory, think Donald Trump won the election. They are crafting laws designed to make it as difficult as possible for black people to vote, designed to decrease votes for Democratic candidates, all based on a lie.

A lot of these same idiots, many who were at the scene, don’t think it was MAGA goons who attacked the Capitol. We even have one senator from Wisconsin (weird, because it’s NOT a yee-haw state) claiming they were tourists and the violent ones were Antifa.

Republicans suck at history. Just yesterday, Republican nutjob and congresspersonthing Marjorie Taylor Greene said she went to the Holocaust Museum and learned that wearing face masks isn’t the same thing as the Holocaust. Marjorie Taylor Greene is 47 years old. That is really late for someone to learn the history of the Holocaust or even something as simple as “bad things happened that can’t be equated to political shit today.” That’s 47 years of stupid. And you may think, “Jesus that’s horrible she got to that age without learning about the Holocaust.” It is horrible but it’s also horrible that there are people in Tulsa, Oklahoma who are just now learning about the Tulsa Massacre of Black Wall Street.

Do you know why people in Tulsa and nationwide are just now learning about that massacre? Because white conservatives didn’t want it taught. But if they get their way, in a lot of yee-haw states like Texas and Oklahoma, it’ll be illegal to teach about the Tulsa Massacre. Yes, teaching Tulsa history will be illegal in Tulsa thanks to Republicans.

Here’s what I think we should do: You want to legislate how we teach history? Fine. But first, you gotta pass a test. We should make federal laws that no elected official nationwide can legislate how history is taught…until they themselves pass a history test. And they have to get 100. In fact, every school board or fucknut who stands up to rant about Critical Race Theory at a school board or city council meeting must first pass a history test.

First question: Who won the election?

Creative note: I had two other concepts in mind I was trying to choose between. One, I had future Republicans outlawing teaching what present Republicans are doing…and then Matt Davies kinda used the same concept. So, I was going to fall back on my other concept which was a multi-panel thing of “Critical White History,” and it would contain reimagined event from the white conservative perspective…then Jack Ohman did a cartoon doing exactly that. Being “robbed” of both of those concepts by those jackals Davies and Ohman (the dingos will eat your baby) led me to finding another one…which is today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Teaching Tulsa


Cjones06022021

When I was a kid, I was really good at history. It came naturally to me and was extremely easy. I didn’t even have to try.

I missed two weeks in high school from an illness and when I came back, my history teacher threw a surprise test for the entire class. But he said I was excused since I had missed two weeks. I didn’t care and said, “Give it to me.” I made a 100 on that test. In fact, I was the only kid in class to make a perfect score and our teacher came down hard on everyone else because they hadn’t missed two weeks. That didn’t make me popular, and all my classmates who had me in math asked, “How’d the stupid kid get 100?”

You see, history for me was like breathing. Everything else was a huge challenge, especially math. Math couldn’t have been more difficult for me if they taught it in Greek. I was OK in other subjects, especially with book assignments, but I was NOT a good student except in history. When kids in history class would ask what I did to become so smart, I’d say, “Obviously this is the only class we share.”

But I was good at history. History was always fascinating to me. It was never homework. Even during summers, I was checking out history books at the public library. I majored in history in college. I was a total geek with history and was capable of boring you for hours with historic details. Yet, I didn’t learn about the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre until several years after I left school. Why is that?

I was mostly educated in the deep south but I did start in a Chicago suburb. I was taught about Harriet Tubman, Crispus Attucks, Frederick Douglas, George Washington Carver and Eli Whitney (that last one’s a test). I may have been told something about the Tuskegee Airmen but I know schools didn’t teach me about the Tuskegee Experiment. There was an emphasis on history from the white perspective.

Other than the one year I was forced to attend a Baptist private school (no black kids), my entire education was in desegregated public schools in Illinois, Louisiana, Georgia, and for a brief moment, California. I went to college in Mississippi. Not only was I never taught about the Tulsa Race Massacre, neither were my black classmates.

In college, there are courses on black history and of course, that’s something you choose to study. There was no black history before college.

I posted this cartoon on social media a few hours ago and asked if my readers had ever heard of the Tulsa Race Massacre when they were in school. I’ve received dozens of replies and only two have said yes, and one of them is a liar.

The Tulsa Race Massacre happened on May 31-June 1, 1921 when mobs of white residents attacked black residents and businesses in the Greenwood district. The district had the nickname “Black Wall Street” because it was the most prosperous black community in the nation at that time. Records are not exact because nobody wanted to tell the truth and hey, the same people who kept records are the same people writing history books. But over 800 black residents were hospitalized. Perhaps as many as 300 were murdered. Burned were homes, businesses, schools, churches, and municipal buildings. 10,000 black people were left homeless.

It started when a young man, black, Dick Rowland, was arrested for assaulting a young white girl. The details are murky, but witnesses said Rowland entered the elevator, tripped, and grabbed the arm of the girl who screamed. Rowland ran away and another white person called the police and reported it as an assault. Rowland was arrested the next day and the headline in the Tulsa Tribune said, “Nab Negro for Attacking Girl in Elevator.” Later, the girl didn’t prosecute and the charges were dropped.

While Rowland was in jail, there was a rumor he was to be lynched and that hundreds of white men had surrounded the jail. A group of about 75 black men, some armed, went to the jail to protect him. The sheriff asked them to leave and assured them everything was under control. They were complying and leaving the area when a white man tried to take a gun away from a black man. A riot ensued, killing ten black men and two white. As word spread about that riot, a mob formed and made a bigger riot…and they took that bigger riot to Greenwood. It took the National Guard to declare martial law to end it.

For years, the city of Tulsa and state of Oklahoma worked to cover it up. In 1996, 75 years later, the state legislature authorized formation of the Oklahoma Commission to Study the Tulsa Race Riot of 1921. The commission discovered that the city conspired with the white mob.

Now, did you read about that in school or did you first hear of it when Donald Trump held a hate rally in Tulsa last year? There are black people in Tulsa who had never heard of the Tulsa Race Massacre until Donald Trump brought another angry white mob to Tulsa. And guess what. They killed Herman Cain.

Today I had lunch with my best friend who is about four years younger than I am. I asked him, another product of public schools, if he learned about the Tulsa Race Massacre in school. His reply was, “Hell no.” He first heard about it when Trump held his hate rally in Tulsa. My friend, by the way, is black. Our education system didn’t think it was important for either of us to learn about the Tulsa Race Massacre.

When you were taught about George Washington crossing the Potomac, you were being taught history. You weren’t being taught white history. But a lot of history was excluded because it was black history…or it made white people look bad. We need to teach Americans American history, no matter who the subjects are and no matter how much some people don’t want it told. We need to teach about the Trail of Tears, the internment of Japanese Americans, and the Tulsa Race Massacre.

Now, states are writing laws that teaching any history implying America is a racist country, is to be illegal. So, is teaching the Tulsa Race Riot to be considered teaching that America is a racist country, or just that it was a racist country? Is it illegal to teach the Tulsa Race Massacre in places like Tennessee?

Republicans across the country are claiming Critical Race Theory is racist, but what’s more racist than not teaching racist history? What’s more racist by not teaching about the racist massacre in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1921?

Racists covered up the Tulsa massacre for generations. They’re still covering it up. Yesterday, Republicans in Congress refused to create a commission to investigate an attack by another racist white mob. Some of them are describing the mob of white nationalist terrorists as tourists. Did we learn anything other than white conservatives are a bunch of racist fucks?

We need to thank Republicans for teaching us during the centennial of the Tulsa Race Massacre, that they’re still the same. And this is why we need to teach Critical Race Theory. Republicans are keeping this a racist country. Outlawing black history or anything that calls you a racist makes you more racist.

America was a racist country and it still is. We still have the electoral college system because we’re a racist country. Republicans can control Congress, even when fewer people vote for them than Democrats, because we’re a racist country. We have Mitch McConnell because we’re a racist country. A racist like Marjorie Taylor Greene has not been expelled from Congress because we’re a racist country. The Donald Trump presidency was only possible because we’re a racist country. There are white people feeling good about themselves for watching Green Book because we’re a racist country.

When I first heard of the massacre at Greenwood, and after I dived into it, I thought, “How could I, the smartest kid in my high school history class, go for so long without even hearing about this?”

The answer is: Because America is a racist country.

Correction: Lois Greene corrected me on Facebook, that Washington crossed the Delaware, NOT the Potomac. And I said I was good with history. That’s one of those things I did know but confused because he supposedly threw the dollar across the Potomac, though people here in Fredericksburg argue that was the Rappahannock. OK. I quit.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Critical Race Theory


Cjones05122021

The 1619 Project is a journalistic endeavor by The New York Times which reframes the nation’s history by placing the consequences of slavery and the contributions of black Americans at the center of the United State’s narrative. It was launched in 2019 to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the arrival of the first slaves to colonial Virginia. The introductory essay won the Pulitzer Prize. Naturally, white conservatives hate this.

A few historians also questioned the project and have accused it of putting ideology before historical understandings. But isn’t that what we grew up with? You grew up with history written by white men. The history books we grew up with aren’t as fucked up and total bullshit like that other book written from a male perspective, the Bible, but it excludes a lot. History is written by the victors, but that should probably stop.

History isn’t just black and white. When you study World War II, you can’t walk away thinking it was as simple as good vs. evil. You need to understand why. Why did Japan want to wage war on the U.S? Why did we side with a communist nation like the Soviet Union? Which colonizing empire, Japan or the British, are the good guys? Why did a democratic Finland fight against the allies and with the Nazis? History is complicated. And when that war was over, the victors drew new boundaries and people in the Middle East had no say in what country they even lived in.

History is funny in that you can spend your entire life studying the subject. Civilization is old. A lot of shit has happened in the past. Another funny thing about history is that so many people tell different versions. A former editor of mine, who served in Vietnam, argued that the United States didn’t lose that war. And he was there watching us lose it. A lot of people get the history they want to get. I’ve had a history professor tell me the U.S. Civil War was not over slavery which is very complicated. Basically, the Civil War was not about slavery for the north. For the south, it was the only thing they were fighting for. Fight me.

And they’re still fighting in the south. Southern Republicans, and in a few other red states outside the south, are fighting Critical Race Theory. What’s that? Critical Race Theory is the study of how racism is embedded in our society which all started when that first boat landed in Virginia over 400 years ago. White Republicans have labeled it as “anti-American.” The Trump administration tried to shut it down by ordering the Department of Education to cease funding to any schools teaching it, and not teaching how awesome Murica is and that it all started in 1776. The Trump administration wanted to rewrite history to only teach “patriotic” history. I’m not fucking with you here. Mitch McConnell called Critical Race Theory “divisive nonsense.”

White Republicans will tell you we have a racist past, but it’s all better now. There is no longer any racism and the Derek Chauvin trial proved it. Tucker Carlson asked on his show, that’s a favorite for white supremacists, “What is white supremacy?”.

Texas’ Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick, who has shown of his hatred and ignorance in the past, said, “Texans reject critical race theory and other so-called ‘woke’ philosophies that maintain that one race or sex is inherently superior to another race or sex or that any individual, by virtue of his or her race or sex, is inherently racist, sexist or oppressive.” Critical Race Theory doesn’t teach that one race is superior to other races. I get the sense that Dan Patrick got all his history by watching Tucker Carlson.

If you think the Ku Klux Klan was started by the Democratic Party, the south fighting for slavery were the liberals, and that the parties didn’t flip positions through the 1950s and 1960s, then you are desperately in need of a real history lesson. And don’t give me any of that PragerU. shit.

President Joe Biden’s Department of Education issued proposals to update the teaching of American history and civics in schools, incorporating anti-racist works such as the 1619 Project. White conservatives are afraid. Anything that threatens their white privilege is addressed at the top of their agenda, after fealty to Trump.

Idaho has banned Critical Race Theory from being taught in any of their schools, from elementary schools to universities. You don’t want Republicans in charge of your lesson planner. Remember a few years ago when Texas rewrote all their history books to refer to slaves as “workers?” Yeah.

But these fucknut lesson planners aren’t just limited to Texas and Idaho. Republicans in Tennessee, Georgia, Arkansas, South Dakota, Arizona, Oklahoma, New Hampshire, Iowa, Louisiana, Missouri, Rhode Island and West Virginia are working on legislation to ban anything that teaches “divisive concepts” or that “suggests” the United States is a racist country.

White speaking against Critical Race Theory, and advancing a bill to outlaw it, Tennessee legislator Justin Lafferty argued the Three-Fifths Compromise, that was counting black people as three-fifths of a person was included in the Constitution to end slavery. In reality, the Compromise was created to count slaves in the south so that could increase representation in Congress, even though those slaves had no voting rights…or any rights. It went along with the racist Electoral College, distributing votes in the south unequally. That’s another reason to get rid of the Electoral College. The Three-Fifths Compromise and the Electoral College made slavery stronger. The idiot arguing the Compromise was to end slavery got a standing ovation from the white Republicans present. Seriously.

The guy might as well have argued the Underground Railroad was built by Jefferson Davis or that the Confederacy seceded to end slavery.

These white Republicans are arguing that if something is “divisive” then it shouldn’t be taught or discussed. These fuckers sounds like newspaper opinion page editors. And, these racists are trying to paint anti-racism as anti-American. And maybe they have a point. America is a racist country.

Even if you don’t agree the United States remains a racist nation, you do need to understand we have a racist history and that this nation was built on racism. We also need to acknowledge the contributions to our nation from black Americans. That’s not being woke. That’s being informed. Just a few years ago, Michelle Obama got a lot of heat from white Republicans for pointing out she was living in a house slaves built.

White Republicans aren’t just making it illegal to teach history they don’t want to hear…they’re banning black history. I don’t want to give them any ideas, but I’m surprised they’re not writing laws to save Aunt Jemima-shaped syrup bottles.

These same fuckers banning history being taught that may suggest we are a racist nation are the same assholes writing laws making it harder for black people to vote. They’re the same racist idiots making it legal to run over people protesting for equality and against police violence on black Americans. We don’t need to teach proper history to know we’re a racist nation. Just show students a photo of Donald Trump.

What we need are classes to teach Republicans irony.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: