Tucker’s Ass


“Fuck Tucker Carlson.” No, those aren’t my words. That’s from a tweet from a United States Senator.

Senator Tammy Duckworth of Illinois tweeted, “Fuck Tucker Carlson” and added, “While he was practicing his two-step, America’s female warriors were hunting down Al Qaeda and proving the strength of America’s women.”

Senator Duckworth lost both legs fighting for our country. Tucker Carlson may have gotten a toe blister while shimmying on Dancing with the Stars.

Tucker’s natural instinct is to discredit those who attack him because he’s unable to go after the merit of an argument. In 2004, when Jon Stewart went on Crossfire where Tucker was a co-host at CNN, all Tucker could do was attack Stewart’s credibility instead of the merit of the argument, that basically Tucker and the entire show were “partisan hackery.” Stewart told Tucker and co-host Paul Begala about their show, “It’s hurting America. Here is what I wanted to tell you guys: Stop. You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.”

Tucker told Stewart he was funnier on his own show to which Stewart replied, “You know what’s interesting, though? You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.” And then, Crossfire and Tucker’s contract was canceled.

And today, Tucker has proven Jon Stewart correct. He was as big a dick on Crossfire as he is on any show. Today, he’s being as big a dick on Fox News where he hosts their number one show “Dicks with Tucker.” I kid. That’s not the title, but then again, Republicans love dick.

Carlson started one of his shows this week ranting about President Joe Biden “feminizing” the military. Tucker said, “So we’ve got new hairstyles and maternity flight suits. Pregnant women are going to fight our wars. It’s a mockery of the US military.” No, Tucker. You’re a mockery of journalism.

The thing is here, these maternity flight suits were started up during the Trump administration. Tucker forgot to mention that. But, so what?

Can we get beyond the myth that Republicans care more about the military than Democrats? Can we get beyond the false belief that Republicans own patriotism? Can we get beyond the bullshit that Republicans are more American than anyone else? We need to accept the fact that Republicans will abandon any pretense they were ever American-troops-supporting patriots for a charlatan in a cheap suit who makes them feel good about their racism.

The military can be questioned and criticized. We’ve all done it. The biggest critics of the military are members of the military. But what Tucker did was an unwarranted sexist attack on members of our armed forces without any substance or merit.

After Tucker was berated by the military, he went on the attack and criticized the military for not being able to finish off the Taliban.

Tucker said, “We were almost rattled. Then we realized if the woke generals treat us like they’ve treated the Taliban, we’ll be fine. Twenty years later, the Taliban are still here.”

“Maybe we ought to promise the Pentagon that we’ll get rid of traditional gender roles on this show. Change the pronouns, defeat the patriarchy, and all that. Then they’d send us billions in unmarked $100 bills as a reward. They’ve certainly done that before. And that might really kickstart our struggling opium poppy business.”

That’s where you’re supposed to laugh because Tucker was trying to be funny.

Tucker also praised China’s military, saying, “While China’s military becomes more masculine as it’s assembled the world’s largest navy, our military needs to become, as Joe Biden says, more feminine.”

So Tulip Toes Tucker Carlson attacks American service members while praising China’s military.

Tucker is right on one count. China does have a larger navy than we do if you go by the number of boats. But while China’s collection of boats amounts to about two million tons, the United States Navy weighs in at 4.6 million tons. While China spends about 261 billion a year on their entire military, the United States spends over 731 billion a year.

And what does Tucker know about our military? When Donald Trump claimed he rebuilt our military along with our nuclear stockpile (Eric Trump claimed he built aircraft carriers), Tucker never called him out for those lies. When Donald Trump said we have invisible airplanes, Tucker never said, “What?” When Donald Trump displayed ignorance of what the nuclear triad is, Tucker never did a show explaining it to him.

We already know Tucker Carlson is a racist. We already know Tucker Carlson is a sexist. We already know Tucker Carlson is a dumbass. Now, thank you, Tucker for providing proof that you do not support the men and women who fight for and defend our nation. Now we know.

One’s support for our military and patriotism should not waver back and forth depending upon which party the Commander in Chief is a member of. Now, instead of supporting the United States armed forces, Tucker Carlson and his ilk support white supremacist terrorists who attack our government and Constitution. I don’t recall Tucker going after the Capitol insurgents over the women in their ranks. “Hey, your white Nazi treasonous terrorist organization is becoming too feminine! You’re supposed to be ‘Proud Boys,’ not “Nazi Babes Gone Wild!”

Tucker Carlson is as much of a fraud as a patriot as he is a journalist.

I know several women in the military and each of them could kick Tulip Toes Tucker’s lily-white ass. I’m pretty sure if the mission was granted, each of them would volunteer to kick Tucker’s ass.

Fox News is now promoting itself as the “opposition” channel. With Tucker at the helm, they need to ask themselves if they really wanna be the “Anti-American” channel.

I’m with Tammy. Fuck you, Tucker.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:



  1. I saw the clip of Jon Stewart on Crossfire. I don’t need to see anymore Tucker Carlson. I can’t imagine he has improved with age, besides my head might explode.
    As it is I am experiencing a mental logjam of questions about how he and others can 1) spout the BS they do 2) do they really believe it? 3) if they don’t believe how do they live with themselves?


    1. Racism, and its others isms, are more than a niche. They got 40% or more of the space in the American mind. If you do not look at the facts, you are bound to be overrun by men like Tucker Carlson, his fans, and all the Trump cultists he is playing to. In 2020 Americans chose heart over stupidity, but just barely. There is no guarantee that will happen in 2024. And if Stupid runs again and wins, there will be hell to pay.


  2. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    #TuckerIsAWimp … “Senator Tammy Duckworth of Illinois tweeted, “Fuck Tucker Carlson” and added, “While he was practicing his two-step, America’s female warriors were hunting down Al Qaeda and proving the strength of America’s women.”


    1. Quote…

      Sen. Ron Johnson, R-Wisc., described the pro-Trump rioters who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6 as people who “truly respect law enforcement” and “loved this country” in a radio interview Friday and expressed worry if the mob had been Black Lives Matter protesters or Antifa members.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Soon that Fox (apologies to actual foxes) News (apologies to actual news) fraud will be able to see Union Army scout Harriet Tubman every time he reaches for a twenty-dollar bill.

    When the Jackson bills wear out, the Federal banks will burn that freak show, slave-whipping baby-killer.

    Murdoch’s own son, Janes, left the shit circus rather than get any more Proud Boy droppings on him. That shit won’t wash out.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s