Fox News

Wapped By Fox


cjones03182021

So, just how many Fox lies can I insert into one cartoon?

I got George Soros-funded migrant caravans, Mexico sending rapists and murderers, the border being crashed by covid-carriers, illegal immigrant voters, attacks on mail-in voting, voter fraud, the Big Lie over the stolen election, Dr. Seuss and Pepe Le Pew being canceled, immigrants wearing Biden shirts at the border, attacks and fear-mongering over LGBTQ, and false equivalencies between vandalism at the Portland Federal Courthouse and actual Trump terrorists attack the United States Capitol. On top of all that, I got conservative outrage over the WAP song. I’m sure I left something out.

And this cartoon is why I don’t unfriend or block MAGAts on Facebook. Seeing several of the troglodytes creating posts on already debunked bullshit, then seeing the exact same thing again and again from conservative political cartoonists, teaches me exactly what’s being discussed at Fox News without having to actually watch Fox News.

Several years ago, there was a poll that showed people who watched the Daily Show were more informed than viewers of Fox News. I totally believe that and I know it’s true. To be effective at satire, you need to know what’s going on. You will actually be more informed reading the Onion, Andy Borowitz, and my cartoons than you ever will be by watching Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro, Laura Ingraham, or Tucker Carlson. And I’m not trying to say my cartoons are all that, but Fox is all suck.

Fox News is also poison. Not only do they spread lies, but they fear-monger to the point that people use the lies to validate their racism and terrorism. David Duke and other white supremacists say Tucker is must-watch TV for them. And when you have stars of your network speaking at Donald Trump’s hate rallies, with one of them having nightly phone calls with him, then you’re no longer a news channel…you’re propaganda.

People talk about the political divisions in this country, partisanship, and tribalism. I admit that I contribute to the division, but I don’t need to use bullshit to do it. Fox News lies. Fox News even tells you that you can’t trust Fox News.

When defending Tucker Carlson in court in a libel suit, Fox News’ lawyers successfully argued that you can’t believe anything Tucker says. Executives at Fox News are now describing themselves as the “opposition” to the Joe Biden administration. An actual news agency shouldn’t be the opposition or ally to politicians. What happened to “fair and balanced?” Sure, that wasn’t ever true but when you tell a lie, you gotta stick with it. You have to make sure your lies don’t expose your previous lies. Did four years of being Trump TV make Fox News dumber?

Do yourself and your country a favor. When you walk into a business, whether it’s a garage, restaurant, bar, doctor’s office, or strip club, and they’re playing Fox News on their TV, walk out or tell them to change it. I have actually sat down at the counter at a Denny’s and told them they had to switch their TV from Fox to another network or turn it off, or I wasn’t buying their pancakes. Just like there are other options for news, there are other pancake options.

Except, Fox News isn’t news. If you switch to CNN, MSNBC, or BBC, you’re not going to another option for news from Fox. If you want an option to Fox, you go to Newsmax, One America News, or Duck Dynasty. There are now competition and options for bullshit and hate propaganda. It’s a great time to be a white nationalist terrorist in the United States. In addition to having hate propaganda and other racist entertainment, there are members of the United States Senate who are your friends and supporters.

Sometimes a conservative will come at me for criticizing Fox News, asking when was the last time I gave the network a chance. But I don’t have to give it another chance. It’s been a long time since I put ketchup on a hot dog and I don’t need to do it again to know that it’s wrong, terrible, un-American, and something that’s only for troglodytes without taste, class, sophistication, or culture.

I get my news from actual news sources and I get my Fox News bullshit from Facebook.

Creative note: I woke up late at 7:30 A.M. without a cartoon idea. I had three subjects in mind and then got ideas for two of them…but not on the border lie Fox is spewing. This is the subject I wanted to hit today. Then I got the idea but I still had to write it. So I wrote it, thought of all the Fox silliness I could include, Googled some shit, Googled some more, made a list, framed it into a long sentence, rewrote the sentence, restructured, rewrote again, lettered it all, shifted some of the lines around in Photoshop, enlarged the text a little, and then sent it to my copy editor Laura who told me I left out an “s” in “transsexual.”

About the WAP song: I really don’t care. Sure, it’s nasty and it’s probably horrible music (I only heard a piece of it months ago), but I do love that it infuriates conservatives. Why do conservatives spend so much time watching, reading, and listening to stuff they hate? That would be like me watching Tim Allen’s sitcom while eating a hot dog desecrated with ketchup.

Also, don’t Google the lyrics for the WAP song. I’m really hoping editors don’t know what the line in the cartoon means. Oh, Lord…please don’t Google it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tucker’s Ass


cjones03152021

“Fuck Tucker Carlson.” No, those aren’t my words. That’s from a tweet from a United States Senator.

Senator Tammy Duckworth of Illinois tweeted, “Fuck Tucker Carlson” and added, “While he was practicing his two-step, America’s female warriors were hunting down Al Qaeda and proving the strength of America’s women.”

Senator Duckworth lost both legs fighting for our country. Tucker Carlson may have gotten a toe blister while shimmying on Dancing with the Stars.

Tucker’s natural instinct is to discredit those who attack him because he’s unable to go after the merit of an argument. In 2004, when Jon Stewart went on Crossfire where Tucker was a co-host at CNN, all Tucker could do was attack Stewart’s credibility instead of the merit of the argument, that basically Tucker and the entire show were “partisan hackery.” Stewart told Tucker and co-host Paul Begala about their show, “It’s hurting America. Here is what I wanted to tell you guys: Stop. You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.”

Tucker told Stewart he was funnier on his own show to which Stewart replied, “You know what’s interesting, though? You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.” And then, Crossfire and Tucker’s contract was canceled.

And today, Tucker has proven Jon Stewart correct. He was as big a dick on Crossfire as he is on any show. Today, he’s being as big a dick on Fox News where he hosts their number one show “Dicks with Tucker.” I kid. That’s not the title, but then again, Republicans love dick.

Carlson started one of his shows this week ranting about President Joe Biden “feminizing” the military. Tucker said, “So we’ve got new hairstyles and maternity flight suits. Pregnant women are going to fight our wars. It’s a mockery of the US military.” No, Tucker. You’re a mockery of journalism.

The thing is here, these maternity flight suits were started up during the Trump administration. Tucker forgot to mention that. But, so what?

Can we get beyond the myth that Republicans care more about the military than Democrats? Can we get beyond the false belief that Republicans own patriotism? Can we get beyond the bullshit that Republicans are more American than anyone else? We need to accept the fact that Republicans will abandon any pretense they were ever American-troops-supporting patriots for a charlatan in a cheap suit who makes them feel good about their racism.

The military can be questioned and criticized. We’ve all done it. The biggest critics of the military are members of the military. But what Tucker did was an unwarranted sexist attack on members of our armed forces without any substance or merit.

After Tucker was berated by the military, he went on the attack and criticized the military for not being able to finish off the Taliban.

Tucker said, “We were almost rattled. Then we realized if the woke generals treat us like they’ve treated the Taliban, we’ll be fine. Twenty years later, the Taliban are still here.”

“Maybe we ought to promise the Pentagon that we’ll get rid of traditional gender roles on this show. Change the pronouns, defeat the patriarchy, and all that. Then they’d send us billions in unmarked $100 bills as a reward. They’ve certainly done that before. And that might really kickstart our struggling opium poppy business.”

That’s where you’re supposed to laugh because Tucker was trying to be funny.

Tucker also praised China’s military, saying, “While China’s military becomes more masculine as it’s assembled the world’s largest navy, our military needs to become, as Joe Biden says, more feminine.”

So Tulip Toes Tucker Carlson attacks American service members while praising China’s military.

Tucker is right on one count. China does have a larger navy than we do if you go by the number of boats. But while China’s collection of boats amounts to about two million tons, the United States Navy weighs in at 4.6 million tons. While China spends about 261 billion a year on their entire military, the United States spends over 731 billion a year.

And what does Tucker know about our military? When Donald Trump claimed he rebuilt our military along with our nuclear stockpile (Eric Trump claimed he built aircraft carriers), Tucker never called him out for those lies. When Donald Trump said we have invisible airplanes, Tucker never said, “What?” When Donald Trump displayed ignorance of what the nuclear triad is, Tucker never did a show explaining it to him.

We already know Tucker Carlson is a racist. We already know Tucker Carlson is a sexist. We already know Tucker Carlson is a dumbass. Now, thank you, Tucker for providing proof that you do not support the men and women who fight for and defend our nation. Now we know.

One’s support for our military and patriotism should not waver back and forth depending upon which party the Commander in Chief is a member of. Now, instead of supporting the United States armed forces, Tucker Carlson and his ilk support white supremacist terrorists who attack our government and Constitution. I don’t recall Tucker going after the Capitol insurgents over the women in their ranks. “Hey, your white Nazi treasonous terrorist organization is becoming too feminine! You’re supposed to be ‘Proud Boys,’ not “Nazi Babes Gone Wild!”

Tucker Carlson is as much of a fraud as a patriot as he is a journalist.

I know several women in the military and each of them could kick Tulip Toes Tucker’s lily-white ass. I’m pretty sure if the mission was granted, each of them would volunteer to kick Tucker’s ass.

Fox News is now promoting itself as the “opposition” channel. With Tucker at the helm, they need to ask themselves if they really wanna be the “Anti-American” channel.

I’m with Tammy. Fuck you, Tucker.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Goodbye To Lou


cjones02092021

Even if you never watched Lou Dobbs Tonight (and if you’re a regular visitor to this page, you didn’t), it’s a positive development for you. The removal of Lou Dobbs and his show means there is one less person poisoning our environment with dangerous bullshit that feeds terrorists. And just a few months ago, we thought maybe the worst he contributed to was stupid racist people.

Lou Dobbs NEVER should have had a TV show. Maybe that’s not entirely fair. But he should have lost all opportunities of having a show after the fucked up call he made in 1999 when he ordered his producer to cut from President Bill Clinton’s speech in Littleton, Colorado, after the Columbine school shooting, to return to his show, Moneyline. Lou Dobbs’ partisanship clearly presented an inability to host a news show, even one with opinions. Dobbs left CNN but he got another chance.

Dobbs returned to the network and started his crusade against “illegal immigration,” and then became the only news anchor to give any exposure and legitimacy to the birther theory, that President Barack Obama was born in Kenya. CNN paid him $8 million to leave.

Naturally, a racist conspiracy theorist like this belonged on Fox News. At Fox, Dobbs continued to push the birther nonsense but also gave credence to the deep state nonsense championed by Donald Trump. Dobbs abandoned all pretense of being an actual analyst and joined the Trump cult and used his program to campaign for Donald Trump. It was sickening.

Lou Dobbs became your crazy uncle where the only qualification to believe in something was that Donald Trump said it. Except your crazy uncle doesn’t have his own TV show on Fox News. Sure, your crazy uncle could get a show on Newsmax or OANN, but not Fox.

And because Donald Trump claimed the election was stolen by Dominion voting machines, Lou Dobbs believed the election was stolen from Trump and for Joe Biden by Dominion voting machines. Now, a company that provided software to Dominion, Smartmatic, has named Dobbs and two other Fox News hosts in a $2.7 billion defamation lawsuit. Trying to save some face, Fox News has canceled Dobbs.

Don’t cry for Lou Dobbs. He’s still rich. In fact, he hasn’t even been fired yet. They just canceled his show. They’re still paying him. How crazy is that? What’s even crazier is that Fox News still has racist conspiracy theorists hosting “news” shows.

On November 12 of last year, Trump’s personal drippy farty attorney, Rudy Giuliani, was on Dobbs’ show promoting the Big Lie, and claimed Smartmatic was founded by Venezuelans connected to the deceased and former dictator Hugo Chávez “in order to fix elections.” Instead of calling him out for bullshit, or even better, not having him on his show, Dobbs thanked Rudy for being “on the case” which “has the feeling of a coverup in certain places.” That’s just some good journalisming right there, folks.

This was supposed to be a news show…on a news channel. Lou Dobbs was supposed to be a credible journalist. Rudy going over a cliff chasing conspiracy theories doesn’t mean Lou Dobbs had to go with him. Journalists are supposed to call this bullshit out, not join in spreading it. On that note, journalists shouldn’t join political campaigns or speak at political rallies. But Fox News “journalists” do that.

Donald Trump issued a statement, because he can’t tweet anymore, saying, “Lou Dobbs is and was great. Nobody loves America more than Lou. He had a large and loyal following that will be watching closely for his next move, and that following includes me.”

I actually read the statement like this: “Lou Dobbs is and was a great racist. Nobody loves attacking America with white nationalist terrorists more than Lou. He had a large and loyal racist following that will be wearing Klan hoods while watching closely for his next racist move, and that racist following includes me, because I’m a racist…with a little tiny dinky.”

Oh my god. That means your crazy uncle is going to lose his show on Newsmax. But hey, there’s an available time slot at Fox Business at 5:00 P.M. eastern time.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Moo Libel


cjones12272020

You would think any half-ass lawyer would know they can’t run around saying lies and unprovable things about people and corporations. That’s libelous. You can get sued for that. When it comes to Trump lawyers Sidney Powell and Rudy Giuliani, I’d rather have the cow lawyer. Plus, the cow farts probably aren’t as bad as Rudy’s.

As part of the Trump team’s conspiracy theory in their effort to stage a coup, Sidney Powell has charged that Dominion Voting System’s machines were created by the deceased Hugo Chavez, were sent here by communists in Venezuela to overturn the election, and have links to the Clinton Foundation and George Soros. The team has spread lies that the machines changed votes from Trump to Biden and in some cases, dumped votes for Trump, while somehow leaving the other Republicans on the same ballots untouched. Anybody believing this shit is a little touched.

The Trump campaign has made these claims, often supported by the president (sic) of the United States of America. Do you know what happens when Donald Trump spreads bullshit? His people believe it. There doesn’t have to be any proof or evidence.

Now, lawyers who specialize in defamation cases have sent letters to Trump’s attorneys Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis, Lin Wood and White House counsel Pat Cipollone warning them of “imminent” legal action on behalf of Dominion Voting Systems. They’re demanding the campaign to retain all records of communications between Trump and any White House employee with Rudy Giuliani, Powell, Ellis, and Wood.

This is where it gets good. Others receiving warning letters include Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, Maria Bartiromo, Rush Limbaugh, Greg Kelly (a Newsmax anchor), Fox News, Newsmax, One America News Network (OANN) and Epoch Times.

Two ironic things about Epoch Times: It’s Chinese and the MAGAt belief system is currently trying to tie Joe Biden with China, and…it’s a newspaper. MAGAts don’t read newspapers.

The lawyers demanded they “cease and desist making defamatory claims against Dominion,” saying they had “featured and continue to feature the proponents of this misinformation campaign against” the company.

Another voting machine company, Smartmatic, has sent letters to Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax demanding they stop “publishing false and defamatory statements.”

Dominion CEO John Poulos said the company would be taking legal action against several people “promoting lies and amplifying those lies” on various media platforms since Election Day. When asked if the lawsuits will include Donald Trump, he said, “We will not be overlooking anybody.”

Nine nine days after Election Day, Trump tweeted a claim that “DOMINION DELETED 2.7 MILLION TRUMP VOTES NATIONWIDE.”

On Dominion’s website, they state, “Malicious and misleading false claims about Dominion have resulted in dangerous levels of threats and harassment against the company and its employees, as well as election officials.”

Last Tuesday in Denver, Dominion’s security director, Eric Coomer, filed a defamation lawsuit against the Trump campaign, Giuliani, Powell, Newsmax, OANN, OANN reporter Chanel Rion, blogger Michelle Malkin and others. Coomer’s suit says he has become the target of death threats because of the defendants’ false claims made about Dominion’s machines. Currently, Coomer is in hiding.

Remember how Republicans and MAGAts all chortled about the Kentucky kid suing media outlets after his fray with the tom-tom beating Native American in Washington? They championed that little MAGAt’s lawsuit. He even got a speaking slot at the Republican National Convention. They were all supportive of his lawsuits. How dare the media smear him with their reporting. Now, it’s coming back on them in a much bigger way.

Donald Trump has called for the laws allowing a free press to write “anything they want” to be eliminated so he and others can sue news outlets for reporting facts they don’t like. So isn’t it ironic that as soon as he leaves office, one of the multiple lawsuits he faces is for defamation? I love it.

I hope Dominion lawyers sue each and every person they sent letters to. I hope Coomer wins each of his lawsuits. These liars, destroying reputations, our nation, and championing a coup attempt, need to be taken downtown in legal terms. They need to pay for their bullshit. I predict a lot of settlements. I predict Donald Trump, who claims he never settles but always settles, settles.

I also wish that lawsuits and charges will be filed against Donald Trump, federally and on the state level, within five minutes of Joe Biden taking his oath of office at noon on January 20, 2021. Would that just be the best kick in the nuts ever?

That’s all I want for Christmas…that and Chinese food.

Notes on signed prints: Order now if you want to send a print of one my cartoons, signed by me, to a loved one…or even better yet, to a conservative family member who you probably don’t love anymore. They’ll never forget it. The signed prints are just $40.00 each. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal and want to snail mail it, email me (clayjonz@gmail.com) so we can make sure your print gets to its recipient in time. I can mail the prints directly to you or to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (14 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’ll be selling for $45.00 each, signed. Unfortunately, they’re not going to arrive until AFTER Christmas. Don’t yell at me. But you can purchase now, give later, and blame the cartoonist. Tell them I had covid. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Tucker’s Lost Conspiracy


cjones11022020

You gotta be careful with where you put those conspiracies. They’re like car keys…or that one missing sock. Where’d it go? For me, it’s batteries. I’ll buy a pack of 20 batteries then when the remote dies, I can’t find the batteries. I go insane hunting for them until I finally give up and buy another package which also can’t be found six months later. I bet Hunter Biden’s taking them.

For the past few years, Rudy Giuliani has been on a Hunter Biden snipe hunt in Ukraine. And just like a real snipe hunt, Rudy hasn’t caught shit.

A snipe hunt is what you do to get the kids out of your hair while camping or hanging out with friends. You send the kids on a snipe hunt so you and the rest of the adults can get hammered or do whatever it is you don’t want the kids there to witness. The thing is, there is no such thing as a snipe. IF the kids are really stupid, they’ll be gone for hours. Don’t ask me how I know this. Come to think of it, I can’t think of a better way to get Rudy out of your hair than sending him an Eastern European snipe hunt. The only bad thing is, he comes back to go on Fox News to tell Hannity about the snipes he caught that we can’t see. Hannity gets excited about snipes. So does Tucker Carlson.

A few weeks ago, Rudy convinced The New York Post to run a story about Hunter Biden’s laptop which contained incriminating emails that implicated him in nefarious evil plots with his father, Joe Biden. The only problem was, there was no actual proof the laptop belonged to Hunter Biden.

No credible news outlets would take the story. Not even Fox News. The reporter who was forced to write the story for the Post refused to put his name on it. Later, a former associate of Hunter, Tony Bobulinski, turned up with “incriminating” documents proving Hunter is one bad dude and his father bwahahahahahahas with him.

Once again, no credible media outlets would touch the story. The documents were crap. The Wall Street Journal refused the story. But good ole Tucker Carlson came along and gave Bobabooey an interview on his crap show, which made a lot of conspiracy theorists say, “A-ha!” But of course, it was all a bunch of accusations without any proof. I mean, if allegations were proof, then Donald Trump is a rapist.

Then it got even weirder. On Wednesday night, Tucker claimed a shipment of “damning” documents being shipped to him had VANISHED!!! He wondered how such a nefarious thing could happen to a “trove of materials that are directly relevant to the presidential campaign that’s six days away.” Did the Satanic pedophiliac deep state intercept them in Wichita?

Then, on Thursday morning, Tucker said they had been found but there was still malfeasance. Somehow, the package had been opened and the flash drive containing all the evil Biden stuff had fallen out. Is UPS part of the deep state? Does Hillary drive a brown truck?

Of course, when you have such important documents incriminating a presidential candidate in evil plots, you make copies. Right? Right! And Tucker made copies. And……….he still hasn’t released the copies. While complaining about the documents disappearing, then reappearing while being shipped, he never once told us anything about what was in the documents.

For all we know, the documents are like that giant book given to Lesley Stahl by Kayleigh McEnany which she claimed contained Trump’s healthcare plan. The book was actually like 7,000 pages of Trump word salad. Unlike Tucker would do, Lesley opened the book.

Then, NBC reported that a 64-page dossier floating around on the dark web (4chan and Qanon) documenting a complex conspiracy involving Hunter Biden and China was actually authored by a fake persona. In case you’re a Republican…or you watch Tucker Carlson Tonight…or you are Tucker Carlson, “fake persona” means the person doesn’t exist. The documents are fake, bogus, bullshit. I’m so sorry.

The question is, was this 64-page fake dossier the documents Tucker was waiting on from UPS? If so, why didn’t he just download them off the internet? Why were they even shipped in the first place? This isn’t 1992. You can email files now. If the files are really large, you can share them through Google Drive. I know this from personal experience. I have a computer. It seems like the only reason you would actually ship documents is because you’re hoping to lose them or they get mangled in a sorting machine.

Not only do these Hunter stories not pass muster for real journalists, they don’t pass the stink test for bar gossip. Who, what, where, when, why? They don’t have any of that. And if you were pushing this stuff in a bar, the bartender should cut you off.

Tucker Carlson is not a journalist. He’s not even a good fearmonger. Now, Tucker says we should just forget about all of it and leave Hunter Biden alone. You know what that means, don’t you? It means Tucker actually looked at the documents, finally, and discovered they were so full of shit, they didn’t even meet his standards. Who’s researching this shit for Tucker? Does he have the same clerk as Brett Kavanaugh?

It’s too bad Tucker isn’t a journalist. If he was, he would have taken a look at the info before telling his viewers he had info. As it turned out, he had shit. Tucker promised and he didn’t deliver. He’s like Geraldo and Al Capone’s vault. He cracked the safe and found dirt and empty bottles.

When Geraldo opened Al Capone’s safe and struck out, he knew he failed. He went across the street and got “tequila drunk.” Geraldo knew he sold an empty promise and there was nothing journalistic about it. But it made for great ratings. Really. Thirty million people watched for two hours as Geraldo opened an empty box….kinda like those Republican California ballot boxes.

Tucker isn’t that aware. He’s just going to ignore this ever happened and jump on the next bullshit conspiracy theory…what is it now, illegal voters with mail-in ballots? Are they all brown? Is George Soros behind it?

Hey, maybe someone will mail him documents.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Fox V. Fauci


cjones05202020

The current talking point in attacking Dr. Anthony Fauci, the leading infectious disease expert in the United States, is that he’s “unelected.”

Senator Rand Paul said he’s not the “end-all” of understanding how viruses and pandemics work. Actually, he is. Laura Ingraham points out he’s unelected. Tucker Carlson did the same while also calling him a “buffoon.”

These buffoons need to understand something. Dr. Fauci isn’t closing states, businesses, or schools. He’s giving advice. His advice comes from knowledge and experience. While Dr. Fauci isn’t a politician and isn’t an expert on the economy or business, the Fox buffoons are not doctors or scientists. Rand Paul is a doctor, but he’s an eye doctor and even then, I don’t think he’s the “end-all” of poking shit in your eyeball.

Do you know who else isn’t elected? Stephen Miller. Nobody voted for Stephen Miller yet he’s drawing up our immigration policy. Other than Mike Pence and Donald Trump, there’s not one person in the Trump administration anyone voted for. Not Betsy DeVos, Ben Carson, William Barr, or Mike Pompeo. Nobody voted for these people to be in their current positions but they’re all there legally.

And nobody voted for Jared Kushner. While you can argue over the experience of some of the cabinet members, Jared comes with none. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Jared’s expertise is only in being Donald Trump’s idiot son-in-law. Yet, Jared has been in charge of immigration and peace in the Middle East. Now, he’s one of the directors of our response to the coronavirus and told us the government stockpile of medical equipment wasn’t for the states and is “our stockpile,” as in the federal government’s stockpile.

Now, Jared is floating the idea of delaying the general election. Wouldn’t Republicans just love that? Hey, just like if you don’t test then you don’t get positive results, if we don’t hold an election, then we don’t have to count all those votes against Trump.

Answering a question from Time Magazine about postponing the general election because of the pandemic, Jared said, “I’m not sure I can commit one way or the other, but right now that’s the plan.” Yes, Jared. You can commit one way or the other. That way would be, “No. There are no plans to postpone the election because I’m not the one to make that call…and neither is Donald Trump.” That’s how you answer that question.

Who the hell is Jared Kushner to even tell us if there’s a plan or not on delaying the general election? What sort of arrogance and narcissism must this guy have to act as though he could plan it? Even DonaldTrump can’t plan it.

While the Covidiots at Fox News screams about Fauci being unelected and call him a “buffoon,” they ignore Jared’s idiocy and lack of qualifications while he floats the idea of violating the Constitution of the United States. Jared Kushner has NEVER accomplished or achieved anything in his life, other than being born rich, inheriting riches, and marrying rich.

The funny thing about the general election. It’s in the Constitution. Federal law stipulates when we hold the election, when states’ electors cast their votes and send them to Congress, and even when the president and vice-president’s tenures expire.

Congress would have to change federal law (one House is held by Democrats who are lead by Nancy Pelosi) to change the date of the election.

And, look at it this way: If we don’t hold an election, the president and vice president’s terms will automatically expire at noon on January 20, 2021, either way. If Donald Trump’s term expires and there’s no duly elected president because there wasn’t an election, say, “Hello, Madam President.” Because if there’s no election, she’s guaranteed to still be Speaker of the House and she’s next in line for the presidency after Trump and Pence.

Hmm. Maybe this no election thing isn’t a bad idea after all.

Here’s the other thing that pisses me off about this, that burns my cheese, chokes my goat, the fire that burns my ass: Fox News expressing concern about someone being unelected.

Fox News doesn’t care that Donald Trump is in the White House without a mandate. They don’t care he’s there after the majority of voters rejected him in 2016. They don’t care that Russians tampered with our election. They don’t care that Donald Trump is inviting foreign nations to tamper with the next one.

Fox News does not care when minority voters’ civil rights are violated by being removed from voter rolls. They didn’t care when thousands of American voters were removed from the rolls in Georgia’s last state election. They didn’t care that the guy who could remove them was the Republican candidate for governor. They didn’t care when he won.

Fox News didn’t care when thousands of Native Americans, people who are way more American than anyone at Fox News, weren’t allowed to vote in North Dakota.

So, Fox News…spare me your fainting spells over shit you don’t really care about. But, if you want to do it your way, Fox News…let’s hold Dr. Anthony Fauci to an election over Donald Trump.

As it currently stands, over 60% of Americans trust Dr. Fauci. Donald Trump, your hero, is hovering around 30%.

Quite frankly, Fox News buffoons…you don’t do well with elections so maybe you should stop talking and making demands about them.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Worse Than Lincoln


cjones05092020

Nearly every historian agrees Abraham Lincoln is our greatest president. And while there are other presidents who were great…and tragic (like Franklin Pierce losing his son between the election and inauguration and his other two children also died young, his wife suffered from depression, and he became an alcoholic), none was more tragic than Abraham Lincoln.

It’s interesting to bring up Pierce because he helped set the stage for the Civil War, which was Lincoln’s greatest challenge and helped contribute to the tragedy that was Lincoln. During the war, Pierce spent his time criticizing Lincoln (which I’m sure we’ll see Trump do for the presidents who follow him). Holding the nation together and winning an American insurrection makes Abraham Lincoln our greatest president. Lincoln was presented the greatest challenge to our nation and he answered the call with brilliance…all while malice was directed at him.

Lincoln once declined an opportunity to discredit a story in the press and said, “I do the very best I know how, the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.” Donald Trump doesn’t have ten angels swearing he was right. He has the ilk of Sean Hannity.

Donald Trump likes to let us know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican as if we didn’t already know that, which means he didn’t know until recently. He’s boasted in the past that he’s more popular with Republicans than Lincoln was, despite the fact there weren’t polls in the 1860s. Donald Trump probably doesn’t know what happened in the 1860s. Donald Trump has two things in common with Lincoln. One is, they’re both Republicans, though the Republican Party Lincoln was a member of was the liberal party that freed the slaves and became Lincoln’s party. Donald Trump has turned the Republican Party into the Cult of Trump and has an agenda of oppression with supporters chanting “send them back.” Abraham Lincoln was our first Republican president and his party later gave us other great Republican presidents like Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower. Donald Trump may be our last Republican president.

The second thing Donald Trump has in common with Abraham Lincoln is that he’s facing a crisis that wasn’t his creation. Donald Trump did not bring the coronavirus to the United States. He didn’t create it. It’s not his fault. But, unlike Lincoln, he handled the crisis poorly. The coronavirus pandemic was made worse in this country by Donald Trump. Can you imagine if Abraham Lincoln said, “only two states seceded so far and soon it’ll be down to zero?” What if Lincoln said the Civil War was a “Democratic hoax?” Could Lincoln have claimed the Confederate victory at Manassas was “fake news?”

It’s appropriate that Donald Trump held his most recent interview with Fox News at the feet of the Lincoln Memorial. Sitting at Lincoln’s feet, Donald Trump was tiny to the giant that is Abraham Lincoln. Just like he was to the memorial, Donald Trump’s presidency is puny, frail, and weak compared to the enormity that was Abraham Lincoln’s. When compared to Lincoln, Trump is microscopic.

While many events have taken place on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, it’s prohibited to stage a public event in the interior. However, Donald Trump received clearance from the Interior Department to conduct his little virtual town hall with Fox News. David Bernhardt, the secretary of the interior, is a former oil executive, so it’s not like he approached the situation with respect and reverence for history or public property.

The secretary issued a statement explaining the trampling over the memorial with, “Given the extraordinary crisis that the American people have endured, and the need for the president to exercise a core governmental function to address the nation about an ongoing public-health crisis, I am exercising my authority to facilitate the opportunity for the president to conduct this address within the Lincoln Memorial.”

Yeah, about that need to “address the nation about an ongoing public-health crisis.” The town hall was an extension of Donald Trump’s rage tweeting that’s still continuing from the past weekend.

George W. Bush issued a statement about unity during this pandemic. It didn’t have anything to do with Donald Trump or politics. Yet, Donald Trump made it about himself and rage tweeted that Bush didn’t back him up during his “impeachment hoax.” Donald Trump is incapable of taking this pandemic seriously and is only focused on himself.

During his town hall, he even claimed the choice of the venue was Fox’s, not his. He lied at the feet of Honest Abe.

Then, he said, “Look, I am greeted with a hostile press the likes of which no president has ever seen. The closest would be that gentleman right up there. They always said Lincoln…nobody got treated worse than Lincoln. I believe I am treated worse.”

Let me remind you, in case you’re a poor student of history…you know…a Republican, that Lincoln was assassinated. And the assassin, John Wilkes Booth, if he was alive today, would be a Trump supporter. He’d have the MAGA hat.

And if Donald Trump was alive during Lincoln’s time, he would have supported the south and had created conspiracy theories about Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln was born west of the Mississippi!

Donald Trump is all about grievance. His entire base is based on grievance. For Trump, it’s about his personal grievance. The press is mean to him. He’s treated worse than Lincoln. People are lying about his crowd sizes. He is the whiniest president in our nation’s history. But, it’s also about white grievance which he has cultivated. People who voted for Trump wear the cap with the saying, “Make America Great Again,” which means, “Make America White Again.” It’s MAGA. Now, many of them are “KAGA,” which is “Keep America Great Again.” How do you “keep” something “again?” Anyway…

Donald Trump is a crybaby. His supporters are crybabies. They’re all snowflakes. And just like the Michigan protesters stormed their state capitol building with guns after Trump told them to “liberate” Michigan, John Wilkes Booth entered a theater with a gun. Abraham Lincoln liberated the slaves. Donald Trump is telling white people to liberate their states from…I’m not sure.

Just like the Ku Klux Klan, white militants, white supremacists, David Duke, and your crazy racist uncle who believes in chemtrails and Obama was born in Kenya, John Wilkes Booth would have loved Donald Trump.

Donald Trump is confused. He’s not treated worse than Lincoln. He IS worse than Lincoln.

Creative note: I’m going to tell you before someone does it. Do not leave a comment expressing a desire that Donald Trump gets what happened to Abraham Lincoln. I’m sick of that shit coming from liberals. You’re supposed to be better than that. If you do it, I’m going to smack you down.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Fox Gets A Second Opinion


cjones04222020

Usually, when Fox News gets someone from the White House on one of their programs, they’re on board with the propaganda. Fox News knows a Kellyanne will parrot the talking points on blaming governors, China, the World Health Organization, Obama, etc. And Kellyanne knows that no one at Fox will call her out when she lies or embarrasses herself with her stupidity, like when she said the W.H.O. had plenty of practice getting things right with viruses as this was covid-19, not “covid-1.” The virus is named after the year. But it’s rare for there to be any resistance to the bullshit from either side. Poor Laura Ingraham.

Laura had Dr. Anthony Fauci on her shit show and tried to rope him in with some trashing of Joe Biden. What Fox News and the administration is doing is trying to present an argument that Donald Trump is doing everything he can while also rushing us into reopening the economy (you can’t do both).

Laura mocked Joe Biden for saying on CNN, “This thing isn’t going to be over until we have a vaccine.” She asked Fauci to respond to Biden’s claim and expected him to join in the trashing and mocking. Nope. Fauci said, “there’s truth to that.” He went on, “It’s not going to be over to the point of our being able to not do any mitigation until we have a scientifically sound, safe, and effective vaccine.”

Ingraham tried to rebound by arguing we may not even need a vaccine as we never had one for HIV or SARS and that the virus might just “disappear.” Fauci said that was “misleading.” Her disappointment in watching her balloon pop was like Sean Hannity’s that time Rudy Giuliani mistakenly told him that Donald Trump did pay off porn stars and “funneled” the money through dummy corporations.

It’s dangerous either way. You bring on a smart and honest person and they’ll destroy your argument if you’re a liar and spreading propaganda. If you bring on a right-wing fucknut, they’ll destroy your argument by mistakenly admitting the truth, like paying off porn stars or bribing Ukrainian officials to help Donald Trump’s political campaign.

Ingraham decided on another rebound. She consulted with another doctor for a second opinion. Enter Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil argued against closing the nation down and said, “Look, the fact of the matter is we have people dying — 45,000 people a year die from automobile accidents, 480,000 from cigarettes, but we don’t shut the country down for that. But yet we’re doing it for this?” He also made up some numbers about people drowning in swimming pools.

Dr. Phil is not a medical doctor. He’s a clinical psychologist with no special knowledge about the politics, science or economics of the shutdown. The guy isn’t medically qualified to remove a splinter. But you don’t have to be a doctor with Dr. Fauci’s qualifications to understand that drowning is NOT contagious. Neither are car accidents or smoking. On top of that, all that stuff is regulated by…wait for it…the federal government.

What does appear to be contagious…oh so very contagious…is stupidity.

Fox brought in Dr. Drew Pinsky last month who said the coronavirus was no more dangerous than the flu. Earlier this week, they got Dr. Mehmet Oz to casually suggest it was OK if we lost two to three percent of school children to the virus by reopening schools.

They each must have had someone point out their talking points were dumb as they’ve each walked them back.

Dr. Phil said his examples were “bad.” Pinsky apologized and Oz said he “misspoke.” How do you misspeak when you say it’s OK for children to die for your politics? By the way, the current Republican position is that it’s OK if people die for their politics, especially if it helps Donald Trump’s reelection.

I said this in a previous blog: Don’t take medical advice from Donald Trump or any Republicans. That goes for Fox News, which is state TV with a pro-Trump agenda. Fox News is more about propaganda than news.

Don’t expect Laura Ingraham, who likes to give the heil Hitler salute at Republican conventions, to take on the MAGAts protesting against stay-at-home orders. Don’t expect anyone on Fox to call out Trump for inciting violence with his “liberate” blue states tweets.

I’m not a doctor but I think I do have some sound advice that’ll be good for your brain: Don’t watch Fox News.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

A Credible Fox


cjones02022020

The new argument on Fox News is that Donald Trump’s former national security adviser, John Bolton can’t be trusted because he’s trying to sell a book.

A leak emerged from the White House that in a draft of Bolton’s upcoming book, Donald Trump told him firsthand that he was withholding military aid from Ukraine until they announced an investigation into the Bidens. The leak of the manuscript is interesting because it probably came from someone who works for Donald Trump and hates him. And honestly, no president has feuded with as many former staffers as Donald Trump has.

Yes, John Bolton wants to sell books. Here’s a fun fact: Everyone who has ever published a book wants to sell books. Here’s another fun fact: All those Fox News fucknuts arguing that you can’t trust John Bolton because he wants to sell books…have all written books!

Here’s the thing, kids. Regarding testifying, it doesn’t matter if Bolton has credibility. You ask that question after he testifies. You weigh his credibility along with his testimony. It doesn’t matter if John Bolton is a drug-dealing pimp. If he’s a witness, you let him testify. And, even if he was a drug-dealing pimp, he’d still have more credibility than Donald Trump.

But, I have questions for Fox News. If John Bolton isn’t credible, then why didn’t you point that out when he was advocating invading Iraq? Why didn’t you ask that when George W. Bush made him ambassador to the United Nations? Why didn’t you ask that when Donald Trump hired him to be his national security adviser? Or better yet, why didn’t you ask that question when YOU, Fox News, hired him as one of your conservative gaslighting experts? And, you could have asked that question at any point during the eleven freaking years he worked for you.

But then again, if you’re arguing he doesn’t have credibility and is a liar because he worked for Fox News, you might have a point.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Shep Ditches Shemps


cjones10162019

It doesn’t take a lot to receive Twitter attacks from the current president (sic) of the United States if you’re a journalist on a national news network, but it’s significant if that news personality is on Fox News, a.k.a., Trump TV.

This may come as a shock to you but there are journalists at Fox News. Of course, they’re outnumbered by those who slant the news for a conservative audience and outright conspiracy theorists, but they’re there. Shep Smith is one of them.

Smith has made it a practice, not just to report actual facts on his 3:00 PM show, but to debunk the lies of Donald Trump, a.k.a., Liar-in-Chief. Smith wasn’t just debunking Trump. He was counteracting misleading information and lies from the show’s morning and evening pro-Trump talk shows, a.k.a., fucknuts.

Trump often attacked Smith and once tweeted the greatest insult of all, at least from his perspective. He tweeted, “Watching Fake News CNN is better than watching Shepard Smith, the lowest rated show on @FoxNews.” Oh my.

But Smith wasn’t just attacked by Trump for reporting facts and debunking lies. His colleagues at Fox News such as Sean Hannity (who boasts about not being a journalist despite being on a so-called news network), Tucker Carlson, and Jeanine Pirro, a.k.a., Trump’s butt poodles, would often go after him on the air. Earlier this month, Smith publicly clashed with Tucker when he failed to defend their colleague, Andrew Napolitano, after a guest called him a “fool.”

It’s not that Shep Smith was a liberal in a conservative wasteland. It’s that he was a journalist at an outlet, one he joined in 1996, that catered to an audience demanding propaganda over news. Fox News doesn’t lead the viewers as much as its viewers lead it. Yes, Fox is the number one news channel if you consider it news. And, it’s tough to retain credibility when in the evening, your colleagues are speaking at Trump rallies or personally helping Donald Trump with debate prep.

So it came as a surprise, even to his colleagues, when Smith abruptly announced his resignation on the air at the end of his show (and leaving a $15 million a year salary). Neil Cavuto said he was “stunned” and Brett Baier was “shocked.”

Former Fox correspondent, who now works for CNN, Conor Powell, said, “Fox News isn’t just losing Shepard. He surrounded himself by a team of really good producers and reporters who forced correspondents to do more than talking point reporting.” Powell said his fear is Smith leaving means the “Hannity and Tucker narrative will face no internal resistance.”

I understand to an extent where Smith is coming from. I once freelanced for a news outlet that allowed a columnist to repeat Trump’s lies and conspiracy theories. If Trump said it, the columnist took it as fact, such as “caravan invasions,” “millions of illegal voters,” and “crisis actors.” When he wasn’t engaging in lies and conspiracy theories, he was sloppy and honestly, stupid, such as the time he referred to a gospel choir in the United Kingdom as “African-American.” My problem wasn’t in disagreeing with his “work,” but that the outlet allowed it or worse yet, believed it. Even opinions need to be based on facts. Opinion news is still journalism. While his work didn’t influence mine, the outlet’s lack of interest in journalism ethics and standards was an embarrassment to be associated with. The editor once asked me to steal an idea from a meme. A MEME! I quit.

Announcing his resignation, Smith said, “Even in our currently polarized nation, it’s my hope that the facts will win the day. That the truth will always matter, that journalism and journalists will thrive.”

I expect journalism to thrive, but not at Fox News, a.k.a., Faux News.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.