
I don’t have a policy against drawing two cartoons in a row on the same subject, but I discourage myself from it. Does it sound like I talk to myself? I do. Right, me? Yes, he does that. It’s annoying. But even if I did have a policy against drawing on the same subject two times in a row, I’d break it at times when I felt it was necessary…and I think drawing a cartoon on Tucker Carlson today is necessary, even though I drew on him yesterday.
The reason it’s necessary is that the Dominion Lawsuit against Fox News has provided even more revelations about the network.
The last batch of internal texts and emails from the goons at Fox News revealed that the hosts and executives didn’t believe the election lies. They didn’t believe Trump won. They didn’t believe Biden stole the election from Trump. They didn’t believe in the accusations of massive voter fraud. They didn’t believe there was an abundance of dead people voting. They didn’t believe undocumented immigrants were voting. They didn’t believe Italian satellites had changed ballots. They didn’t believe bamboo ballots lost the election for Trump. They didn’t believe George Soros was manipulating the Dominion voting system. They didn’t believe the deceased Hugo Chavez was a part of the Dominion voting system. They didn’t believe none of that shit but they gave all of it airtime. In fact, Fox News is still casting doubt on the election.
We learned from those texts that Tucker tried to get a fact-checker fired. We learned that Fox News was afraid of reporting facts out of fear of pissing off Donald Trump and their audience. We learned that Fox News was afraid that reporting facts would make their stock as worthless as stock in Truth Social.
We always knew Fox News lied, but now we have proof that even Fox News doesn’t believe its own bullshit. So why does Fox News knowingly report lies? Because they’re not news and they don’t have principles. Despite this, Tucker was handed January 6 footage by Speaker Kevin McCarthy which Tuckums has now used to lie about the white nationalist terrorist attack, saying it was peaceful and not an insurrection. Showing a photo of the Qanon Shaman strolling through the Capitol building instead of taking a dump in the hallways doesn’t mean he’s a peaceful guy any more than Hitler being a dog person doesn’t mean he didn’t murder six million Jews.
It’s true Hitler was a dog person which means a dog would rather go to Hitler when he calls than to Donald Trump.
But, people who watch Fox News don’t get nuance and context. The people who were screaming at me yesterday are totally unaware that Tucker knowingly lies to them because they don’t watch the real news. They only watch Fox. But even Fox didn’t report on Tucker’s phony exposé of the Jan. 6 footage. Seriously, after Tucker signed off on Monday night, not one host on Fox News mentioned the Jan. 6 footage.
The question I now have for Fox News viewers is: How are you going to buy Tucker’s bullshit when Tucker doesn’t actually believe in MAGA? I already know the answer and that is: They’ll ignore it.
Tucker has spent the last six years being a Trump sycophant, an asskisser, a toadie, a lackey, an apple polisher, a bootlicker, a ball licker, a fawner, a groveler, and an all-around cultist. As it turns out, Tucker drank the orange Kool-Aid but he didn’t swallow.
The new revelations reveal that Tucker, Sean Hannity, and Laura Ingraham wanted to flex their muscles to enact change at the network, and not for the better. “I think the three of us have enormous power,” Ingraham wrote in a group text, adding that they have “more power than we know or exercise.” She continued, “we should think about how together we can force a change.” Hanitty told her to “keep thinking” and Tucker texted that “the first thing” they needed to do is “exactly what we want to do,” which is what you would expect a prep-school baby with a lifetime of white privilege to say. Tucker also said, “We are all officially working for an organization that hates us.”
It’s funny that they were outraged at their own network for reporting the news. Fox News was becoming a bit too honest for their brand of propaganda.
Tucker and Peter Doocy mocked Fox News’ journalists on the so-called “straight news” side of the network in a text exchange.
Hannity: News destroyed us.
Doocy: Every day.
Hannity: You don’t piss off the base.
Doocy: They don’t care. They are JOURNALISTS.
Hannity: By the way, ever notice your name is like a “deuce,” you know…taking a crap?
Doocy: What are you talking about? Can you give me an example?
Hannity: Yes. Those MAGAt white nationalists who committed an insurrection on January 6 sure did drop a lot of doocies on the floor of the Capitol.
Doocy: Oh, yeah. Well, just make sure that if Kevin McCarthy ever becomes Speaker and gives you hours of security footage showing MAGAts dropping doocies on the floor of the Capitol, you don’t show that part.
Hannity: Of course not. If part of the deal for McCarthy to ever become Speaker is for him to give me hours of security footage of the Jan. 6 white nationalist MAGA terrorist attack, I’m gonna manipulate it like it’s a Veritas video of an abortion clinic.
After Fox News called Arizona for Biden on election night, the head of the company, Rupert Murdoch emailed a friend, “I hate our Decision Desk people! And pollsters! Some of the same people I think. Just for the hell of it still praying for Az to prove them wrong!” Spoiler: Arizona did NOT prove them wrong.
We also learned that when Murdoch was asked why he divulged confidential campaign ad information to Jared Kushner, he said, “I was trying to help Mr. Kushner. He’s a friend of mine.” That might have been illegal.
We also learned that Maria Bartiromo refused to call Biden President-elect. After the election had been called for Biden on the Saturday after the election, officially making him the president-elect, she texted Steve Bannon, “I want to see massive fraud exposed … I told my team we are not allowed to say pres elect at [all]. Not in scripts or in banners on air. Until this moves through the courts.”
But the juiciest (not the doociest) bit of the new revelations is that Tucker hates Trump. He doesn’t just hate Trump, he passionately hates Trump.
In November of 2020 after the election, Tucker texted to someone that Trump’s decision to snub Joe Biden’s inauguration was “so destructive,” adding that Trump’s post-election behavior was “disgusting” and that he was “trying to look away” like it was a Cheerios commercial with an interracial family.
Two days before the January 6 white nationalist MAGA terrorist attack, Tucker texted, “We are very, very close to being able to ignore Trump most nights. I truly can’t wait.”
Tucker also texted about the Trump presidency (sic), “That’s the last four years. We’re all pretending we’ve got a lot to show for it, because admitting what a disaster it’s been is too tough to digest. But come on. There isn’t really an upside to Trump.”
And then Tucker wrote, “I hate him passionately.”
Tucker doesn’t just hate Donald Trump, he hates him “passionately,” which means he really really really hates him.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates non-gender-specific Potato Heads.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates sexy Green M&M losing her white go-go boots.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates Sexy Green M&M’s white go-go boots being worn by Ron DeSantis.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates a black president putting mustard on a cheeseburger/
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates black history.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates having to share an elevator with a black guy.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates democracy.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates criticism of white supremacy.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates Ukraine.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates Putin haters.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates an empty jar of mayonnaise.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates getting a toy he already has from the McDonald’s kid’s meals.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates real news.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates having a black female vice president.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates that his name rhymes with Fucker.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates it when he confuses his blue M&Ms for Viagra.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates Jon Stewart.
Tucker hates Trump more than he hates that cartoonists are still drawing him with a red bowtie.
But the one thing Tucker hates more than Donald Trump is us knowing Tucker hates Trump and that he’s been a phony all this time. Tucker has been an ass-kisser for something he doesn’t even believe in.
The good news for Tucker since his viewers only watch Fox News is they’ll never know how “passionately” he hates Trump.
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