Military

Lost in Afghan Translation


Cjones07142021

The United States is finally pulling out of Afghanistan. I don’t care who’s saying it’s too soon to leave Afghanistan and we’re allowing the Taliban to take it back because 20 years is more than enough time to spend on that nation. How much more is the United States supposed to sacrifice for that nation?

We were in Iraq and Vietnam too long, and never should have stepped one American soldier foot in either of those nations. Enough with the nation building. Afghanistan has to set its own course now. But what about the people in Afghanistan who risked their lives to help us? It seems we would have prepared for their safety before we left Afghanistan…not just talk about it after. Even before they get here, they’ll get a full taste of American bureaucracy. If you think standing in line at the DMV is a sonofabitch, oh boy.

President Joe Biden said we have approved about 2,500 special immigrant visas for the translators, drivers, escorts, guides, security guards, and others, which will allow them to come to the United States. But there are 18,000 applications from these personnel and their families. The number of applicants may reach as high as 50,000. On top of all that, there’s a congressionally mandated cap that currently means there are under 11,000 visas even available…so about 7,000 fewer than the applicants already waiting. Did I say, “Welcome to American bureaucracy”?

The U.S. is planning to house some of these Afghans in Guam (a U.S. territory) and are in negotiations to temporarily set them up in nations like Qatar and the United Emirates Republic. They say there is an immediate focus to get about 9,000 of the 18,000 out of the nation quickly, but what happens to them if while they’re waiting, they’re in territory recaptured by the Taliban? It’s not like the Taliban is known for leniency and compassion. Why are we just now talking to these other nations about accepting refugees? Maybe we were planning on staying in Afghanistan forever.

After the fall of Vietnam, the United States accepted close to 120,000 refugees (one of them was a best man at my wedding). As you saw from the historic photos, refugees were climbing aboard helicopters with U.S. troops during the withdrawal…and escape before Saigon fell. President Gerald Ford said at the time, “To ignore the refugees in their hour of need would be to repudiate the values we cherish as a nation of immigrants.” But since we’re a nation that allowed Donald Trump to become its leader (sic), and so many of us are demanding he be “reinstated” over democracy, what exactly are our values?

We are a nation of immigrants which is something we need to keep in mind when it comes to immigration and people seeking asylum and refugee status. We also need to keep in mind our international reputation.

After Donald Trump pulled forces out of Syria, breaking a promise to the Kurds who trusted us enough to fight with us only to eventually be abandoned to the wrath of Turkey, our word isn’t as good as it used to be. We can argue that was more Donald Trump than it was the United States, but unfortunately at that time, Donald Trump was the United States. Unfortunately, Donald Trump was the president (sic) of the United States of America. Quite frankly, just the fact Donald Trump was president and over 74 million voted for him in 2020, has hurt our reputation. As many of us have learned from personal experience, you can not trust anyone who supports Donald Trump or enter into any agreement or relationship with them.

People who support Donald Trump don’t have values, morals, ethics, principles, or integrity. They will like and burn you. Cruelty is their shits and giggles. When the international community looks at the United States, that’s what they see. They see an old racist narcissistic billionaire laugh while throwing babies into cages.

We were in Afghanistan for 20 years. That war is almost old enough to legally drink. It seems to me that at some point during those two decades (in case you’re a Republican, ten years is a decade and ten plus ten equals 20), we would have started the asylum process for those who were risking their lives to help us.

Over the past four years during the Trump presidency (sic), we abandoned our Kurdish allies, we bailed on a nuclear treaty with Iran and a climate treaty with the word. We bailed on other nuclear treaties along with the Trans-Pacific Partnership, pulled out of the United Nations Human Rights Council, and the U.N. Educational, Scientific, and Educational Council. We threatened to pull out of NATO while clamoring for Russia to be readmitted into the G7. We pulled out of several other organizations and treaties. Our nation criticized allies while buddying up with bullies. Our president (sic) gave secrets provided by allies to Russians. Our president (sic) hung out with Kim Jong Un while attacking Canada over its cheese. Our president (sic) called a female leader of a democratic nation “nasty” for not selling us Greenland. Our president claimed “good people” march with Nazis.

It’s our fault the world does not trust us. We gave them every reason they have to not believe in us. The world thinks our word is crap…and the world is right.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

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Tucker’s Ass


cjones03152021

“Fuck Tucker Carlson.” No, those aren’t my words. That’s from a tweet from a United States Senator.

Senator Tammy Duckworth of Illinois tweeted, “Fuck Tucker Carlson” and added, “While he was practicing his two-step, America’s female warriors were hunting down Al Qaeda and proving the strength of America’s women.”

Senator Duckworth lost both legs fighting for our country. Tucker Carlson may have gotten a toe blister while shimmying on Dancing with the Stars.

Tucker’s natural instinct is to discredit those who attack him because he’s unable to go after the merit of an argument. In 2004, when Jon Stewart went on Crossfire where Tucker was a co-host at CNN, all Tucker could do was attack Stewart’s credibility instead of the merit of the argument, that basically Tucker and the entire show were “partisan hackery.” Stewart told Tucker and co-host Paul Begala about their show, “It’s hurting America. Here is what I wanted to tell you guys: Stop. You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.”

Tucker told Stewart he was funnier on his own show to which Stewart replied, “You know what’s interesting, though? You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.” And then, Crossfire and Tucker’s contract was canceled.

And today, Tucker has proven Jon Stewart correct. He was as big a dick on Crossfire as he is on any show. Today, he’s being as big a dick on Fox News where he hosts their number one show “Dicks with Tucker.” I kid. That’s not the title, but then again, Republicans love dick.

Carlson started one of his shows this week ranting about President Joe Biden “feminizing” the military. Tucker said, “So we’ve got new hairstyles and maternity flight suits. Pregnant women are going to fight our wars. It’s a mockery of the US military.” No, Tucker. You’re a mockery of journalism.

The thing is here, these maternity flight suits were started up during the Trump administration. Tucker forgot to mention that. But, so what?

Can we get beyond the myth that Republicans care more about the military than Democrats? Can we get beyond the false belief that Republicans own patriotism? Can we get beyond the bullshit that Republicans are more American than anyone else? We need to accept the fact that Republicans will abandon any pretense they were ever American-troops-supporting patriots for a charlatan in a cheap suit who makes them feel good about their racism.

The military can be questioned and criticized. We’ve all done it. The biggest critics of the military are members of the military. But what Tucker did was an unwarranted sexist attack on members of our armed forces without any substance or merit.

After Tucker was berated by the military, he went on the attack and criticized the military for not being able to finish off the Taliban.

Tucker said, “We were almost rattled. Then we realized if the woke generals treat us like they’ve treated the Taliban, we’ll be fine. Twenty years later, the Taliban are still here.”

“Maybe we ought to promise the Pentagon that we’ll get rid of traditional gender roles on this show. Change the pronouns, defeat the patriarchy, and all that. Then they’d send us billions in unmarked $100 bills as a reward. They’ve certainly done that before. And that might really kickstart our struggling opium poppy business.”

That’s where you’re supposed to laugh because Tucker was trying to be funny.

Tucker also praised China’s military, saying, “While China’s military becomes more masculine as it’s assembled the world’s largest navy, our military needs to become, as Joe Biden says, more feminine.”

So Tulip Toes Tucker Carlson attacks American service members while praising China’s military.

Tucker is right on one count. China does have a larger navy than we do if you go by the number of boats. But while China’s collection of boats amounts to about two million tons, the United States Navy weighs in at 4.6 million tons. While China spends about 261 billion a year on their entire military, the United States spends over 731 billion a year.

And what does Tucker know about our military? When Donald Trump claimed he rebuilt our military along with our nuclear stockpile (Eric Trump claimed he built aircraft carriers), Tucker never called him out for those lies. When Donald Trump said we have invisible airplanes, Tucker never said, “What?” When Donald Trump displayed ignorance of what the nuclear triad is, Tucker never did a show explaining it to him.

We already know Tucker Carlson is a racist. We already know Tucker Carlson is a sexist. We already know Tucker Carlson is a dumbass. Now, thank you, Tucker for providing proof that you do not support the men and women who fight for and defend our nation. Now we know.

One’s support for our military and patriotism should not waver back and forth depending upon which party the Commander in Chief is a member of. Now, instead of supporting the United States armed forces, Tucker Carlson and his ilk support white supremacist terrorists who attack our government and Constitution. I don’t recall Tucker going after the Capitol insurgents over the women in their ranks. “Hey, your white Nazi treasonous terrorist organization is becoming too feminine! You’re supposed to be ‘Proud Boys,’ not “Nazi Babes Gone Wild!”

Tucker Carlson is as much of a fraud as a patriot as he is a journalist.

I know several women in the military and each of them could kick Tulip Toes Tucker’s lily-white ass. I’m pretty sure if the mission was granted, each of them would volunteer to kick Tucker’s ass.

Fox News is now promoting itself as the “opposition” channel. With Tucker at the helm, they need to ask themselves if they really wanna be the “Anti-American” channel.

I’m with Tammy. Fuck you, Tucker.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Diaper Don


cjones12052020

Donald Trump claims nobody respects the troops more than he does. He claims he’s “rebuilt” our military. He even claims he’s restocked our stockpile of nuclear weapons. All of that is bullshit.

The truth is, we’ve spent over $600 billion per year on our military for over a decade before Donald Trump stole the presidency. There’s not a lot of rebuilding required when you’ve been pumping over $600 billion a year into something. Eric Trump even claimed we have new aircraft carriers because of his father. If that’s so, I challenge Eric to name them. We have not restocked our pile of nuclear weapons and I hope we’re not keeping them in a pile. That just doesn’t sound very safe.

But the biggest lie is that nobody respects the military more than Donald Trump. According to reports, he has referred to those who volunteer for our armed services as “suckers and losers.” He told his former chief-of-staff, General John Kelly, while at his son’s gravesite at Arlington National Cemetery, that he doesn’t “get it.” Why would anyone put their lives on the line fighting for their country? He asked, “What’s in it for them?”. That’s the exact type of question a grifter would ask.

And of course Trump doesn’t get it. He dodged the draft to serve during the Vietnam War. You don’t see any of his five kids serving in our military. Granted, Barron isn’t old enough yet but don’t hold out on him joining even the Space Force. Even George W. Bush and Dan Quayle joined the National Guard. These petty little trust-fund baby bastards wouldn’t even join the Kiss Army.

Trump screamed and pitched a fit over reports he doesn’t respect our military. He acted like a diaper baby over it. It seems to me that if you want people to believe you respect our military, then you don’t go blocking a bill that funds the military. You don’t block a bill that provides raises for our men and women who are willing to die for our nation. It also seems to me that if you don’t want people accusing you of being a baby, then you don’t act like a baby.

Donald Trump is threatening to veto a defense bill if it doesn’t include the repeal of a legal shield for internet companies. What he wants is a repeal of a law that protects companies like Twitter and Facebook from posts by third parties.

What that law means is, if a lunatic posts something racists and terrible on Twitter, then it’s the lunatic who should be held liable, not Twitter. There’s supposed to be a good faith measure by the internet companies to find and remove such content. Over the past several months, Twitter has been slapping “not true” labels on a lot of posts by racist lunatics that contain lies and conspiracy theories. They’ve been specifically targeting posts made by an orange racist lunatic. But believe it or not, that’s not what has Diaper Don upset.

I’m sorry, did I refer to him as “Diaper Don?” I only did so because that’s what this is all about.

After Trump’s little teeny tiny press conference where he was seated at a little teeny tiny desk that looked like it was produced by Fisher Price, the hashtag “Diaper Don” started trending. It looks like this: #DiaperDon.

Donald Trump tweeted that these hashtags aren’t really “trending” and Twitter is just making it up. Like with his election fraud claims, Trump doesn’t have any proof or knowledge of that and is just making it up.

What does #DiaperDon trending have to do with funding our military? Absolutely nothing, but there aren’t going to be that many more bills for Donald Trump to hold hostage between now and when he’s Former President (sic) Trump.

He has already threatened to veto the bill, which is over $700 billion, over a provision mandating the Pentagon remove Confederate names from military bases and other property.

So, Donald Trump respects our military so much that he’s threatening to veto pay raises for our troops over a Diaper Don hashtag and removing from bases, the names of people who fought against our troops.

The biggest question here is: Why does anyone who considers themselves a patriot still support Diaper Don?

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Suckers and Losers


cjones09082020

Here’s the thing about the Atlantic story about Donald Trump calling those who serve in the military “suckers” and “losers.” It’s believable.

And Donald Trump’s defense hasn’t helped him. He was caught lying twice in his defense.

What backs up the story isn’t just that the anonymous sources are numerous, but that it’s being backed up by other legitimate news outlets. Even Fox News has backed up portions of it.

The other thing that backs it up is Donald Trump doesn’t respect the military. He said John McCain wasn’t a war hero, then said he was only a war hero because he was captured. Then he said he liked “people who weren’t captured.” As if being captured is a shameful failure for someone fighting for their nation. After McCain died, Donald Trump reportedly became furious over flags being lowered to half-mast. All this is disrespectful to the military.

In his argument against the Atlantic story, Trump said he never called McCain a “loser.” That’s a lie because we have it on tape.

Donald Trump has feuded with Gold Star families. If a president is criticized by a Gold Star family, he should keep his trap shut. Not engage into a feud with people who lost a child fighting for their nation.

Donald Trump has lied about the military. He has lied to the military. He tells soldiers and Marines how he gave them raises he didn’t give. He tells them they received their first raises in years thanks to him, which is a lie. Members of our military received regular pay raises throughout the terms of Bush and Obama. Donald Trump says he’s rebuilt the military after it was depleted by Obama, which is strange because we spent at least $500 billion a year on defense during the Obama era. Donald Trump says we have rebuilt our nuclear arsenal which is another lie. Even during last week’s convention, Eric Trump said his dad built new aircraft carriers…plural. Hey, Eric. What are the names of those new aircraft carriers…plural? In case you’re a Republican, “plural” means more than one.

Donald Trump has stopped military exercises with our allies in South Korea which makes them less prepared which makes their situation with North Korea all the more deadly. Why did he call them off? Because a dictator asked him to.

Donald Trump claimed he has called “virtually all” of the families of service members who had died during his term, then rushed out condolence letters after those families said he was lying. Trump has traveled to Dover Air Force Base to receive bodies of those slain in combat only four times, though he says he’s done it “many, many” times.

Finally, Donald Trump has kept his mouth shut over reports Vladimir Putin put bounties on the lives of U.S service members. Donald Trump doesn’t even want to hear anything negative about Russia. Even yesterday, when asked to comment on Russia poisoning another critic of Putin, Trump had to do a whatabout with China.

In the Atlantic story, when Trump was supposed to visit the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery near Paris in 2018, he canceled and blamed the rain. He said neither a helicopter or car could get him there. According to four sources, the real reason was he was afraid of what the rain would do to his hair. Reportedly, he said, “Why should I go to that cemetery? It’s filled with losers.” Later, on the same trip, he called those who died fighting for America in World War I, “suckers.” In case you’re a Republican, World War I was before World War II.

Donald Trump later gave a story about how he called his wife, Melania, who was back at home in Washington, to complain about how he couldn’t go to the cemetery. Problem is, Melania was actually with him in Paris. In case you’re a Republican, Paris is in France which is another country.

According to aides, on the same trip he asked, “Who were the good guys in this war?”. He also expressed confusion as to why America would intervene on the side of the allies.

Regarding the flag lowered to half-mast for John McCain, Trump reportedly asked, “What the fuck are we doing that for? Guy was a fucking loser.” Donald Trump was NOT invited to McCain’s funeral.

According to three sources, Donald Trump called President George H. W. Bush a “loser” for being shot down in World War II.

While visiting the grave of John Kelly’s son in Arlington National Cemetery, who was killed in combat in Afghanistan in 2010 at 29, Donald Trump turned to Kelly, who was his Homeland Security chief at that time, and later chief-of-staff, and said, “I don’t get it. What was in it for them?”.

Donald Trump lashed out yesterday and basically accused John Kelly of being the anonymous source for these stories. What that means is, it’s all true because Donald Trump knows he made these comments in the presence of John Kelly. It’s kinda like Trump saying reports of him suffering a mini stroke, or several, are fake news…even though NOBODY reported he had any mini strokes.

Donald Trump doesn’t understand service, honor, or principles. He doesn’t understand the purpose of the military. According to eyewitnesses, after a White House briefing given by the then-chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Joe Dunford, Trump turned to aides and said, “That guy is smart. Why did he join the military?” Yeah, why didn’t he build a tower, bankrupt casinos, grift contractors, run a sham university, and steal from a charity? What a loser.

James Mattis, his former Defense Secretary said, “When I joined the military, some 50 years ago, I swore an oath to support and defend the Constitution. Never did I dream that troops taking that same oath would be ordered under any circumstance to violate the Constitutional rights of their fellow citizens—much less to provide a bizarre photo op for the elected commander-in-chief, with military leadership standing alongside.” That was in regards to Trump using the military to clear out protesters outside the White House for his church photo-op with someone else’s Bible.

When Donald Trump was planning his July 4th military parade in Washington last year, he told aides not to include wounded veterans on grounds that spectators would feel uncomfortable in the presence of amputees. “Nobody wants to see that,” he said.

Keep in mind for all this that Donald Trump did not serve in the military. Donald Trump received a medical deferment from the draft during the Vietnam War because of the alleged presence of bone spurs in his feet. His niece claims in her book that Trump’s dad paid a doctor to concoct the bone spurs. In the 1990s, Trump said his efforts to avoid contracting sexually-transmitted diseases constituted his “personal Vietnam.”

My father came home from Vietnam wearing shrapnel in his skin. I’m glad Donald Trump can equate that to gonorrhea.

I see posts from current service members and veterans saying they don’t care. They argue they serve the president, no matter who that president is. Keep in mind, cult members need aggressive deprogramming.

But here’s the deal, kids. When you sign up to serve, you take an oath to protect this nation. The man sending people to risk their lives should have at least a basic understanding, respect, and appreciation for those who took that oath and are taking the risks.

And those who have taken the oath need to understand it applies to protecting this nation from a national security threat posing as a president.

Donald Trump is a loser. Those voting for him are suckers.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Donald Trump’s Beautiful Treason


cjones07012020

Donald Trump’s administration is so inept, their coverups are often nearly as bad as the crimes.

When you heard Russian President Vladimir Putin put out bounties for the Taliban to kill U.S. troops in Afghanistan and Donald Trump didn’t do anything about it except continue to invite him to the G7, and your first thought was, “How do I defend this?”, then you’ve failed as a patriot and an American.

Granted you sold your soul to Donald Trump a long time ago but at this point, you’re way past the point of no return.

U.S. Intelligence, which Donald Trump doesn’t trust, uncovered months ago Russia was paying bounties to the Taliban to kill American troops. According to The New York Times, Donald Trump was briefed on this last March. Donald Trump has done nothing…until today.

What did Donald Trump do about it today? He said he was never briefed about it. This is where the coverup is nearly as bad as the crime. and again, Donald Trump is a liar.

Why wasn’t the president (sic) briefed about a hostile nation paying bounties to kill Americans? If this is true, did our Intelligence not trust Donald Trump with this information? If Barack Obama was still president…or anyone else was president other than Donald Trump, he or she would have been briefed. That president would have been expected to defend our nation. That president would have been expected to defend American soldiers. This president (sic) is expected to fail Americans and only concern himself with himself.

Donald Trump is more concerned about defending Confederate statues than U.S. troops. Why, he’s actually enacted penalties for those who attack statues of traitors. Putin? Donald Trump hasn’t tweeted anything against him yet. It helps Putin that he’s not black.

Everything Donald Trump claims he is is a lie. He’s not a good businessman. He’s not a good negotiator. He’s not a good Christian. He’s not a good husband. He’s not a good father. And, he’s not a good American. He pays a lot of lip service to supporting our troops, but he’s never really done so. He claimed P.O.W.s are not heroes and he feuds with Gold Star families. If he wins reelection, he will pull every American troop off the Korean peninsula and abandon NATO.

When it comes to despots, he takes their side over that of U.S. Intelligence. He sides with criminals and spies over “law and order.” He even defends dictators for murdering Americans like he did with Kim Jong Un’s murder of Otto Warmbier. “Kim says he feels bad about it.” I’m expecting a “Putin says he didn’t do it” over this bounty thing real soon.

Earlier this year, four Americans were killed in a car bomb in Afghanistan. Last year, 22 Americans were killed in combat in Afghanistan. I’m no math expert but I counted, and I’m pretty sure 26 is more than four. Why is that significant? Because every Republican in the nation were livid and went apeshit over the four deaths in Benghazi. The Republican-lead House held hearing after hearing on Benghazi. Hillary Clinton as a candidate for president was forced to testify for 11 hours at a House hearing. What have Republicans today said about this new information regarding Russia, the Taliban, and Trump sleeping on it? Nothing.

Now, every Republican must turn against this president (sic). And I’m not just talking about the ones on TV. I’m not just talking about the Never Trumpers or the guys behind the Lincoln Project. I’m not just talking about Kellyanne’s husband. I’m talking about every Republican. Every senator, representative, and governor needs to come out and publicly reject Donald Trump.

Donald Trump has failed America and sold out troops out for his personal little feelings. He’s sold our troops out for his man-crush on Putin. How anyone can still respect that abject failure of a human being is beyond me. Everyone who still rejects this traitor repulses me.

This man has failed with the coronavirus and has cost us more lives. He has put his tiny frail ego before the safety of the American public. Now, he’s turning a blind eye to Vladimir Putin murdering Americans. How much soul does each Republican have left for this guy? How much do you have left for him?

Donald Trump, who is more concerned for ratings and showmanship than being president, is probably concerned over naming for this latest scandal. “Bountygate” is already taken.

A lot of us, and hopefully the majority, are working to save this nation from Donald Trump. If you’re a Trump supporter…still…we’re more than happy to do it without you. In fact, we’re working to save this nation from you.

Some of us love this country more than any individual political leader. Black Lives Matter protesting in the streets and taking down statues of traitors love this country more than you. They defend this country more than you do.

If you love Donald Trump more than America, you should leave. I hope Russia has Kool-Aid.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Just A Good Ole Boy


cjones06132020

Despite all his faults, Donald Trump is still the best president of the Confederacy since Jefferson Davis.

The American Civil War started at Fort Sumter in South Carolina. On April 11, 1861, when Confederate Brigadier General Pierre Beauregard attacked the U.S. fort, commanded by Major Robert Anderson. Today, Beauregard, the guy attacking a United States military base, has a United States military base named after him. Anderson, the guy fighting for the United States of America, does not. You can quote me on this: That’s fucked up.

While military leaders were open to renaming the TEN U.S. military bases named after confederate losers, er…generals, Donald Trump swung for the racist fences yesterday by tweeting he would never allow the renaming of these bases.

In a tweet Donald Trump reportedly labored long and hard over before sending, he said, “These Monumental and very Powerful Bases have become part of a Great American Heritage, and a history of Winning, Victory, and Freedom. HEROES who won two world wars were trained on the Hallowed Grounds of the bases. Therefore, my Administration will not even consider the renaming of these Magnificent and Fabled Military Installations…Our history as the Greatest Nation in the World will not be tampered with. Respect our Military!”

Yes, I had the same exact thought. Oh my god.

Where do I start? OK, first… a “history of winning, victory, and freedom?” He labored long and hard on this? The Confederacy LOST the war which means it was NOT A “victory.” Also, the Confederacy was not fighting for freedom. Also, we trained heroes at these bases to fight in Vietnam which we did not win. You know, that war Donald Trump skirted by claiming he had bone spurs.

How does naming our bases after former foes, traitors, and racists respect our military? I’m hesitant to point out we don’t name U.S. bases after other former adversaries we fought as I don’t want to give Donald Trump and Stephen Miller the idea of renaming any bases after Nazis.

Donald Trump is doubling-down on the racism and the batshit crazy. How racist and backward do you have to be less progressive than NASCAR? Yesterday, NASCAR, that supposed sport where cars drive around in circles that’s popular in the south and only the south, declared the Confederate flag will no longer be allowed at their events. I don’t think the south has taken a blow like this since they lost the war, Hee-Haw was canceled, and Virginia and North Carolina banned indoor smoking.

NASCAR decided to ban the hater flag after hearing the views of Bubba Wallace, a man who defies two stereotypes: A black guy named “Bubba” who competes in NASCAR.

In other news, HBO MAX announced they are pulling “Gone With the Wind” from their lineup and will bring it back later to be presented in its historical context. As in explaining it was made in a much different racist time. Frankly, my dear, a lot of racist who give a damn are freaking the fuck out.

Disclaimer: “Gone With the Wind” was my mother’s favorite movie. I think I’ve seen the movie a thousand times but not all at once. It was always on a loop, like Christmas Story on Christmas day.

A conservative cartoonist who has been on a recent bender of making racist posts on Facebook declared voluntarily yesterday, “I am not a racist.” Then he added the caveat, “Even though I believe ‘all lives matter.'” Shortly after that, he defended “Gone With the Wind” by pointing out that actress Hattie McDaniel was the first black American to win the Oscar as if that makes up for the racist stereotypes and presentation in the movie. I think he’s arguing “Gone With the Wind” is woke. What he failed to mention is that McDaniel’s character in that movie didn’t have an official name as she went by “Mammy.” Also, while McDaniel did win the Oscar, she was not allowed to attend the presentation to accept her award in person.

The bases named after Confederate losers are, Camp Beauregard, Fort Benning, Fort Bragg, Fort Gordon, Fort Lee, Fort Pickett, Fort Polk, Fort Rucker, Fort A.P. Hill (which is here in Virginia), Fort Mammy, and Fort Hood (bonus points if you find the one I made up). Personally, I think we should only slightly change Fort Rucker to “Fort Darius Rucker.” Hey, he’s a southerner. How about Fort Jeff Gordon?

Fort Hood is of particular interest to me. I was born at Fort Hood. My father was stationed there as a drill sergeant and I have a Fort Benning yearbook from 1966…or I did until my little sister stole it over a decade ago and hasn’t returned it despite promise after promise because she’s a typical Trump-supporting-…AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH. I have issues but I digress.

How do I feel about renaming the place where I was born and my father served before shipping out to fight in Vietnam? Go ahead and change the name. Renaming the fort doesn’t erase history. It doesn’t erase my father’s accomplishments. It won’t erase me (sorry, haters). To be honest, if my dad was still alive, he’d probably be pissed as hell with talk of renaming it, but dad was wrong about a lot of stuff. He was an NRA member and I didn’t meet him until I was 21 so if he was still alive it’d just be another one of his opinions I don’t care about. How about “Fort Deadbeat,” you no-child-support-paying-son-of-a…Again, I have issues.

But in case you haven’t noticed, it’s usually only white people who get upset about taking down Confederate statues or taking Confederate names off roads and high schools. But look at it like this, why should a black American be forced to have Jefferson Davis’ name on their high school diploma? Again, that’s fucked up. We don’t force Jews to attend Himmler High or Joseph Goebbels Middle school. We don’t even have Eva Braun beauty academies (we don’t, do we?).

America is racist. We still have shit named after people who fought to preserve slavery. We still have their statues up. We still wave their flags. We still have a racist electoral college. We still elect racist presidents.

And the one thing being canceled that really upsets me is the TV show “Cops.” I’m not upset because I’ll no longer be able to watch police chase naked black dudes through alleys and parking lots (I think every show has at least one naked bad guy). I’m upset there won’t be an episode when they arrest Donald Trump. I would buy the Pay-Per-View to watch him get tased while wearing a wife-beater.

White boys, white boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna watch with your racist crew, white boys?

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

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New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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A Trumpian Oath


cjones01162020

Remember when people protesting war or American involvement in the Middle East would chant, “No blood for oil?” How quaint, right? Now, Donald Trump might ask, “How much oil?”

When you serve in the U.S. military, you go without question. You obey orders. And you serve your Commander in Chief, no matter if you like, love, or loathe him. No matter if he’s a veteran himself or a draft dodger. Now, it doesn’t even matter if your Commander in Chief is a bone-spur citing draft dodger who feuds with Gold Star families and P.O.W.’s while claiming they’re not heroes. Now, it doesn’t matter if your Commander in Chief is selling your ass to the highest bidder.

When you’re a parent and you watch your kid go into the military, while hoping they serve with dignity and pray for their safety, you also hope their Commander in Chief has good judgment that places their lives in danger. You hope their Commander is worthy of being their Commander in Chief. You hope their Commander in Chief isn’t a treasonous and corrupt dumbass.

During the presidential campaign of 2016, Donald Trump, who is now our Commander in Chief (sic) decried George W. Bush for not taking all of Iraq’s oil, demonstrating a serious lack of understanding the purpose of our military.

After calling for pulling troops out of Syria, Donald Trump as Commander in Chief (sic) changed his mind and allowed a few to remain to “protect the oil.”

Donald Trump has demanded that South Korea pay more, not just a larger share of defense cost, but to the U.S. for American troops to stay in that nation. Or what? As Commander in Chief (sic), he’ll pull them out?

Now, Donald Trump is boasting that he, as Commander in Chief (sic), got Saudi Arabia, a very repressive nation that is not a democracy or one that shares any of our values, to pay $1 billion for the increased troops he’s sending to that nation.

Talking to Laura Ingraham on Fox News, because he’s afraid of real journalists and news outlets, Trump said he told Saudi Arabia, “Listen, you’re a very rich country. You want more troops? I’m going to send them to you, but you’ve got to pay us. They’re paying us. They’ve already deposited $1 billion in the bank.”

Of course, nobody knows which bank that is or has accounted for that statement. It may be as whimsical as Trump’s “four embassies” comment. Also, we need to see Trump’s taxes and other financial statements because, how do we know he’s not getting some of that money? This is Donald Trump we’re talking about here. He’s corrupt.

If you’re a parent of a service member, do you honestly trust that your kid’s life isn’t on the line for Donald Trump’s pocketbook? Do you trust this man isn’t using your child as his own personal mercenary? It’s not like any of his kids are putting their asses on the line.

Whether it’s personal or not, the United States military is not to be used as mercenaries. Donald Trump is not worthy of being Commander in Chief. No blood for oil? How about, no blood for Trump?

Unfortunately, Donald Trump is Commander in Chief. And that’s just sick.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Walk For Captain Bone Spurs


cjones11292019

It amazes me that Trump’s supporters have confidence and respect in his ability as Commander in Chief. This is a man who has never respected the military. Saying you respect the military doesn’t actually mean you do, just as saying “no quid pro quo” while extorting someone doesn’t mean there’s no extortion.

Donald Trump dodged the draft. He got the rich-kid deferment when his daddy paid a doctor to vouch for Trump’s bone spurs.

He claimed that avoiding STDs during the 80s was his Vietnam. Seriously. He said going to a boarding school was exactly like military training.

He said a POW was only a hero “because he got captured” and also said, “I like people who aren’t captured.” He has feuded with Gold Star families. He’s continued to feud with the dead POW. He’s stood before our troops and lied to their faces over their pay. Once, he even lost an aircraft carrier.

Today, he’s decreasing our military’s preparedness on soon-to-be broken promises by Kim Jong Un. He’s given classified information to Putin. He’s revealed we have nuclear weapons in Turkey. He pulled our troops out of Syria, abandoning our allies, and telling the world they can’t trust the United States, or our military, anymore. Hell, when it comes to Russian spies vs. American law enforcement, he sides with the Russian spies.

Now, Captain Bone Spurs, who once said he knows more than the generals, is preventing the military from disciplining one of their own.

Chief Petty Officer Edward Gallagher texted photos of himself with the corpse of an Islamic militant with the message, “I have got a cool story for you when I get back. I have got my knife skills on.” Donald Trump described his behavior as “tough.” I don’t think “tough” is the word to describe someone who poses with corpses.

While he was acquitted of the murder of the militant, he was in danger of being demoted by the Navy…until Donald Trump got involved.

Shouldn’t military discipline be left to the military without meddling from the draft dodger? Of course, but this draft dodger is the president (sic). Also, Bernard Kerik, a former business partner of Trump’s personal goon, Rudy Giuliani, has been making the rounds on Trump TV advocating for Gallagher, who changed his legal defense team to include a lawyer from Trump’s real estate company.

Trump tweeted out support of Gallagher and according to Defense Secretary Mark Esper, ordered him to stop a disciplinary review of the Navy Seal. The person who was disciplined in all of this is Secretary of the Navy, Richard Spencer. Esper has accused Spencer of going behind his back to make a secret deal with the White House. In this proposed deal, Spencer promised that Esper would fix the review so Gallagher wouldn’t be demoted. Esper says this violates the chain of command. Yet, it’s Trump who’s demoralizing the military.

Yes, the president can intervene in military cases and decisions. That doesn’t mean he should. He’s teaching the rank and file that if they can get an advocate to hawk their case on Fox News, get sympathy from Donald Trump, then they don’t have to worry about discipline. Pretty soon, the military will have even less discipline than Trump’s boarding school.

Soon, serving in the military will be like Donald Trump avoiding Gonorrhea in the 1980s. Except for members in our military, Trump is the disease.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Banana Bang Bang


cjones09142019

Let me make something clear to you. Immigration, legal or otherwise, is NOT the greatest danger or challenge facing this nation. Sure, if you’re a white nationalist like Stephen Miller believing in the Great Replacement theory and that white people are systematically being phased out, more people in this nation who don’t look like you will keep you up shivering and perspiring with fear all night as if you had the meat sweats.

The Trump administration is treating immigration, legal and non-legal, as the second greatest threat facing this nation behind people fact-checking Donald Trump. But even if immigration was the greatest danger we face, building a wall on the border with Mexico is NOT the solution. It’s been pointed out again and again that the majority of people in this nation illegally entered legally and through checkpoints, not by sneaking across through the desert. The majority of guns and drugs entering this country come through legal checkpoints. People in this nation illegally do pay taxes and contribute more than they take. Very few immigrants are taking jobs away from U.S. citizens. These are facts. So, building a great big wall is a stupid idea that’s not a solution. But stupid ideas work on stupid people.

Stupid people bought the promise that Trump would build a wall and make Mexico pay for it. They’ve proven they’re so stupid that when the promise is broken and they’re the ones paying for it, they will still support it. If you support Trump based on his broken promises (or for any reason actually), you’re stupid. If you’re in the military or in a military family and you support Trump, you may be the dumbest ones of all.

Republicans receive huge support and loyalty from the military and their families. They’ve held this belief for decades that Republicans are better for national defense and security, never mind invading the wrong country. Military families support Donald Trump. They support him despite his deferments from fighting in the Vietnam war. They support him despite his supposed bone spurs. They support him despite his attacking Gold Star families. They even support him despite saying, “I don’t like people who get captured,” and that a POW is only a war hero because he got captured. They support him despite accepting a Purple Heart he didn’t deserve and for openly saying he wants to give himself a Medal of Honor. For some strange reason, they believe a person can do all that and be a great supporter of the military.

They support Trump despite him turning speeches before them into political rants and attacks on people who criticize him. They support him despite him lying to them about their raises. If you had a new boss take credit for giving you a raise that someone else give you, lie about how much you received, and claim it was the first you’ve received in years when it wasn’t, would you celebrate what a great boss he is and start wearing an ugly hat with his name on it? Or, would you realize he didn’t respect you at all because he believes you’re too stupid to notice differences on your paycheck and in your bank account? I guess you may be if you believe Trump when he says not to believe what you see and hear.

Would they have supported him if he started his campaign saying, “I’m going to build a wall by diverting military funds for its construction”?

I guess if you’re stupid enough to believe Trump when he says construction on the wall has started when it hasn’t, then you’re stupid enough to continue to support him when he steals $3.6 billion from the military for his wall. In case you’re a Republican, that’s NOT Mexico paying for it.

Tyndale Air Force Base in Florida was heavily damaged by Hurricane Michael. Trump went to the base and told the personnel, “I pledge to you unwavering support and the support of our nation until you have fully recovered and rebuilt and we will never ever leave your side.” About that. He’s taking $17 million from that project for his wall. That’s not “unwavering” support. That is totally “leaving their side.” For Trump, “never ever” means nada.

Trump is even taking money from military projects in border states, such as Arizona for his wall. Fort Huachuca in that state currently has a $30 million restoration project in the works that is now stalled because of Trump’s theft from the military.

An engineering center along with supporting structures at West Point was deemed so important, that the graduating class of 2009 voted to gift the school with $750,00 for the project. Now, they’re donating to a project the government is stealing from. Trump is taking $160 million from the project for his stupid wall. Graduate Benjamin Hass said, “President (sic) Trump’s decision to divert funds away from this center in order to pay for the border wall demonstrates his disregard for true national security threats and his fixation on a project that will solve no national security issues.”

That’s it right there. Immigration is NOT a threat to our national security yet Trump is taking billions intended to support those who protect us to fund his racist vanity project. Climate change is a greater threat to our national security and the Pentagon (in case you’re a Republican, that’s the military) has issued a report laying out how climate change is a national security threat. Imagine the reaction if President Obama, citing the Pentagon’s report, diverted funds from the military to combat climate change. Republicans would be screaming how he was disregarding Congress’ Constitutional role in appropriating funding. They’d accuse him of acting like a king or a dictator. Actually, they did accuse him of that.

But Donald Trump, he can take money from the military, disregard national security, stomp all over the Constitution, lie about it while doing so and Republicans and military people will keep supporting him.

Gwen Stefani said it best. This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Trump Toys With The Border


cjones11052018

When Trump talks about the “caravan invasion,” he’s not trying to protect the nation. He’s only trying to get you to vote for a Republican. This has nothing to do with border security. This is an election trick.

Since Trump and the Republicans don’t have any accomplishments to run on, they have to run on lies (Republicans will save pre-existing conditions coverage) and fear (scary brown people coming to kill you and steal your lake cottage).

Trump and Republicans talk about how the caravan is staged, but if anything is staged, it’s him sending the military to the border days before the election. There’s no invasion for the military to meet, and if there were, the invaders would be moms in flip-flops and children with milk bottles. The military is not police, and they can’t detain anyone. There’s doubt the caravan will even make it to our border.

The biggest threat the military faces on the border is actually domestic. Leaked documents reveal that the military is concerned with violent protesters from the left and the right, and volunteer militias who may become violent and who have stolen military gear in the past.

From the papers, the military is preparing to defend against an “estimated 200 unregulated armed militia members currently operating along the Southwest Border.” There are reports of these “patriotic” unregulated militias stealing National Guard equipment during deployments.

This is an abuse of our military by Trump. Treating the military like toy soldiers you can play with for an election stunt is much more disrespectful than kneeling during the National Anthem. Trump said the military should treat people throwing rocks as if they have rifles, and was authorizing soldiers to shoot the rock throwers. The next day, he claimed he never said that.

What we need to see is just how much of a crisis this “caravan invasion” is after Tuesday. Will the military still be there? Will Trump keep screaming and lying about it at the rate he is now? Will it even be an issue? Will Trump pretend it’s the first he’s ever heard of it?

Trump has shown us there’s no depth he won’t sink to and nothing he won’t abuse for his own selfish gain. Instead of sending 5,000 soldiers to the border he should be sending 5,000 lawyers and judges to help with processing refugee applications.

Trump believes the military is his own personal toy. What he’s revealing is that his brain is emptier than Mr. Potato Head’s.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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