Tucker Carlson

GaetzGate


Cjones04032021

How did the Republican Party come to this? How did the party of Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Ike, and Reagan become the party that defends terrorists and pedophiles? OK. “Accused” pedophiles.

In 2017, the Republican Party made Roy Moore their nominee for Jeff Session’s vacated Alabama Senate seat after several allegations were made that he was into surfing food courts in malls to pick up teenage girls. Now, the party with a huge faction that believes Hillary Clinton was operating a child-sex trafficking ring in a Washington, D.C. pizza joint has to decide if it wants to defend Congressman Matt Gaetz from accusations of…wait for it…sex trafficking. Funny enough, Gaetz once floated the idea of himself running for that Alabama Senate seat…thinking his district bordering Alabama makes him eligible. To be fair, a lot of people do believe the Florida panhandle to be an extension of Alabama.

So, what exactly is sex trafficking? In this case, it’s when a minor is transported for the purpose of sex. Say you live in Florida, and you pay to fly a minor in from Arizona to shag, that’s sex trafficking. Remember, these are only accusations so far in regard to Matt Gaetz, who has been accused of traveling with a 17-year-old girl across state lines and then having sex with her.

The New York Times broke the news Gaetz has also been accused of being one of the dumbest most do-nothing useless members of Congress in decades. These accusations are accurate. Gaetz has a history of everything coming from his mouth being a shitshow. He’s also been accused of being a ridiculous human being.

Gaetz recently flew to Wyoming (no word on if he took any 17-year-olds on that trip) to campaign against fellow Republican Liz Cheney because she exercised her conscience and independence and voted to impeach Donald Trump. Now maybe Liz Cheney should fly to Gaetz’s district and campaign against him. The only downside to that is that she would have to physically be in Gaetz’s Florida panhandle district. We could call it “Floribama,” or “Alaflora,” or “Aladuh,” or “Floppitbappity.” I’ll work on it.

Last year in the early stages of the coronavirus pandemic, he mocked the seriousness of the health concern by wearing a gas mask on the floor of the House. Later that week, one of the first people to die from the virus in this nation was in Gaetz’s Florida panhandle congressional district. “Flababama!” No?

Gaetz is a Trump sycophant. He supported the pardon of Roger Stone. He claimed Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s act of tearing up Trump’s State of the Union speech in 2020 was illegal. He tried to decertify the election Trump lost, helped Trump claim it was stolen from him, and supported the insurrection. Later, he voted against a measure condemning the coup in Myanmar, probably because he’s a big fan of coups. He’s also a big fan of conspiracy theories and uses the term “deep state” a lot. For example: “The deep state has accused me of rawdogging teenagers!”

A political ally of Gaetz was indicted on charges related to sex trafficking and that’s where this current investigation comes from. Someone may have thrown Gaetz under the bus. And from reading about how much people really dislike Matt Gaetz, that’s probably true. Gaetz claims it’s part of an extortion plot and the entire thing is politically motivated because nobody likes him. That is true. Nobody likes him. Gaetz brags that he doesn’t have a lot of friends in Washington and is proud that most of his true friends are in the Florida panhandle. “Bamafamu?”

This investigation was started last year in the final months of the Trump occupation of our government. William Barr was the Attorney General, who has to approve and be briefed on all investigations on members of Congress. This is not an attack by liberals or Democrats.

Gaetz says he’s being blackmailed by David McGee, a former official of the Justice Department. Gaetz claims McGee is blackmailing his father for $25 million to make sex-trafficking allegations go away. The problem here is, McGee has not been a member of the Justice Department in over two decades AND (this part is important) the inquiry into the sex-trafficking charges was BEFORE there was any so-called extortion attempts. There’s also the problem of: how do you blackmail Matt Gaetz by threatening you’ll make people think worse of him?

Gaetz claims the FBI was so concerned with this extortion attempt, that they had his father wear a wire which is a process that probably doesn’t work when the wire-wearer’s idiot son goes to the media and says his father’s wearing a wire.

While Gaetz is defending himself from these charges of sex with a minor, keep in mind he’s been living with an un-adopted male immigrant named Nestor since Nestor was 12 years old. Gaetz has referred to Nestor as his son, his helper, and a “local student.” Is Florida the only place where an unmarried grown man can live with an un-adopted 12-year-old?

While Gaetz has denied having sex with a 17-year-old, at least not since he was 17 (he said this), he openly brags about dating younger women and freely admits he’s paid for their flights and hotels to be with him.

According to The Daily Beast, Republicans don’t like him and there’s an informal rule not to appear on TV with him at any time for any reason. Why is this? Because Republicans who know Gaetz expect an incoming scandal with the dude at any time.

Again, according to the Beast, more than a half-dozen lawmakers have spoken to reporters about “his love of alcohol and illegal drugs, as well as his proclivity for younger women.” The article states, “It’s well-known among Republican lawmakers that Gaetz was dating a college student—one over the age of consent—in 2018. She came to Washington as an intern.”

A GOP staffer from Capitol Hill said, “I don’t think you’ll find a lot of people who are desperate to keep him involved in Republican politics.” One of those Republicans sent The Daily Beast a photo of a trash bin outside Gaetz’s office as lawmakers cleared out their offices at the end of a recent session. At the top of the heap was an empty “Costco-size” box of “Bareskin” Trojan condoms, extra small. Whoever gets that office after Gaetz may want to decontaminate it with a flamethrower. As Star-Lord in “Guardians of the Galaxy” would say, “If I had a black light, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.”

In fact, only two Republican members of the House have publicly defended Gaetz so far. They are Jim Jordan, who’s another Trump sycophant and has been accused of being aware of sexual abuse among coaches and wrestlers when he was a coach at Ohio State University, and Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Qanon fucknut who is currently barred from any committee assignments. That’s not good company. Gaetz, like Jordan, Greene, and Lauren Boebert, don’t do any actual work as United States Representatives and only use their offices for higher profiles.

Even Tucker Carlson tried to distance himself from Matt Gaetz after giving him a platform to explain himself.

Matt Gaetz appeared on “Tucker Carlson Tonight” with a hair style that now has yard gnomes searching for a new look. Tucker’s show is one his own lawyers successfully argued in court can’t be believed by anyone “reasonable.” But still, more credible than Newsmax, where it’s been reported Gaetz has a job waiting if he chooses to leave Congress. That would be awesome for all of us because nobody watches Newsmax.

During the interview, Gaetz claimed innocence and said Tucker could appreciate his situation saying he was “not the only person on screen right now who’s been falsely accused of a terrible sex act.” Thanks to Matt Gaetz, Tucker had to go back over two decades to explain something he’s spent two decades trying to make fade away from everyone’s memories. Thanks a lot, buddy. Why didn’t Matt just claim all those extra-small “Bareskin” Trojans belonged to Tucker?

Then, Gaetz attempted to not just rope Tucker into his shit, but to make make him a witness. He said a female friend of his was threatened by the FBI and told “she could face trouble” if she didn’t confess to authorities that Gaetz was involved in a “pay-for-play scheme,” and that Tucker had met her. Gaetz said, “You and I went to dinner about two years ago. Your wife was there, and I brought a friend of mine, you’ll remember her.”

This is why you don’t go to dinner with Matt Gaetz. Or, at least one more reason.

Tucker quickly said that not only does he not remember this woman, but he doesn’t even remember the dinner. Thanks to Matt, Tucker’s next guests may be the FBI with subpoenas. After the interview, Tucker said, “That was one of the weirdest interviews I’ve ever conducted” and that it “didn’t clarify much.” Next time, interview a yard gnome. They don’t implicate you in sex-trafficking scandals.

According to some people at Fox News, Tucker was “pissed.”

Matt Gaetz has not been charged and is innocent until proven guilty. But Gaetz’s allegations of extortion could be true while the accusations of sex trafficking could also be true. One does not cancel out the other. Matt Gaetz, being a Republican and a Trump supporter, is probably not aware of that. This is a guy who believes if he screams “deep state” enough, it’ll make all the accusations disappear.

There are so many questions here. How bad are you when other Republicans don’t want anything to do with you? How horrible are you that even Tucker wants distance? How bad are you if your only true support is Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor Greene? Is he guilty? Was there extortion? What does Nestor think of this? How small were those condoms? Where does one purchase a black light?

Also, in case you’ve never seen one, do NOT Google Jackson Pollock paintings.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Tucker’s Ass


cjones03152021

“Fuck Tucker Carlson.” No, those aren’t my words. That’s from a tweet from a United States Senator.

Senator Tammy Duckworth of Illinois tweeted, “Fuck Tucker Carlson” and added, “While he was practicing his two-step, America’s female warriors were hunting down Al Qaeda and proving the strength of America’s women.”

Senator Duckworth lost both legs fighting for our country. Tucker Carlson may have gotten a toe blister while shimmying on Dancing with the Stars.

Tucker’s natural instinct is to discredit those who attack him because he’s unable to go after the merit of an argument. In 2004, when Jon Stewart went on Crossfire where Tucker was a co-host at CNN, all Tucker could do was attack Stewart’s credibility instead of the merit of the argument, that basically Tucker and the entire show were “partisan hackery.” Stewart told Tucker and co-host Paul Begala about their show, “It’s hurting America. Here is what I wanted to tell you guys: Stop. You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.”

Tucker told Stewart he was funnier on his own show to which Stewart replied, “You know what’s interesting, though? You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.” And then, Crossfire and Tucker’s contract was canceled.

And today, Tucker has proven Jon Stewart correct. He was as big a dick on Crossfire as he is on any show. Today, he’s being as big a dick on Fox News where he hosts their number one show “Dicks with Tucker.” I kid. That’s not the title, but then again, Republicans love dick.

Carlson started one of his shows this week ranting about President Joe Biden “feminizing” the military. Tucker said, “So we’ve got new hairstyles and maternity flight suits. Pregnant women are going to fight our wars. It’s a mockery of the US military.” No, Tucker. You’re a mockery of journalism.

The thing is here, these maternity flight suits were started up during the Trump administration. Tucker forgot to mention that. But, so what?

Can we get beyond the myth that Republicans care more about the military than Democrats? Can we get beyond the false belief that Republicans own patriotism? Can we get beyond the bullshit that Republicans are more American than anyone else? We need to accept the fact that Republicans will abandon any pretense they were ever American-troops-supporting patriots for a charlatan in a cheap suit who makes them feel good about their racism.

The military can be questioned and criticized. We’ve all done it. The biggest critics of the military are members of the military. But what Tucker did was an unwarranted sexist attack on members of our armed forces without any substance or merit.

After Tucker was berated by the military, he went on the attack and criticized the military for not being able to finish off the Taliban.

Tucker said, “We were almost rattled. Then we realized if the woke generals treat us like they’ve treated the Taliban, we’ll be fine. Twenty years later, the Taliban are still here.”

“Maybe we ought to promise the Pentagon that we’ll get rid of traditional gender roles on this show. Change the pronouns, defeat the patriarchy, and all that. Then they’d send us billions in unmarked $100 bills as a reward. They’ve certainly done that before. And that might really kickstart our struggling opium poppy business.”

That’s where you’re supposed to laugh because Tucker was trying to be funny.

Tucker also praised China’s military, saying, “While China’s military becomes more masculine as it’s assembled the world’s largest navy, our military needs to become, as Joe Biden says, more feminine.”

So Tulip Toes Tucker Carlson attacks American service members while praising China’s military.

Tucker is right on one count. China does have a larger navy than we do if you go by the number of boats. But while China’s collection of boats amounts to about two million tons, the United States Navy weighs in at 4.6 million tons. While China spends about 261 billion a year on their entire military, the United States spends over 731 billion a year.

And what does Tucker know about our military? When Donald Trump claimed he rebuilt our military along with our nuclear stockpile (Eric Trump claimed he built aircraft carriers), Tucker never called him out for those lies. When Donald Trump said we have invisible airplanes, Tucker never said, “What?” When Donald Trump displayed ignorance of what the nuclear triad is, Tucker never did a show explaining it to him.

We already know Tucker Carlson is a racist. We already know Tucker Carlson is a sexist. We already know Tucker Carlson is a dumbass. Now, thank you, Tucker for providing proof that you do not support the men and women who fight for and defend our nation. Now we know.

One’s support for our military and patriotism should not waver back and forth depending upon which party the Commander in Chief is a member of. Now, instead of supporting the United States armed forces, Tucker Carlson and his ilk support white supremacist terrorists who attack our government and Constitution. I don’t recall Tucker going after the Capitol insurgents over the women in their ranks. “Hey, your white Nazi treasonous terrorist organization is becoming too feminine! You’re supposed to be ‘Proud Boys,’ not “Nazi Babes Gone Wild!”

Tucker Carlson is as much of a fraud as a patriot as he is a journalist.

I know several women in the military and each of them could kick Tulip Toes Tucker’s lily-white ass. I’m pretty sure if the mission was granted, each of them would volunteer to kick Tucker’s ass.

Fox News is now promoting itself as the “opposition” channel. With Tucker at the helm, they need to ask themselves if they really wanna be the “Anti-American” channel.

I’m with Tammy. Fuck you, Tucker.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Tucker’s Lost Conspiracy


cjones11022020

You gotta be careful with where you put those conspiracies. They’re like car keys…or that one missing sock. Where’d it go? For me, it’s batteries. I’ll buy a pack of 20 batteries then when the remote dies, I can’t find the batteries. I go insane hunting for them until I finally give up and buy another package which also can’t be found six months later. I bet Hunter Biden’s taking them.

For the past few years, Rudy Giuliani has been on a Hunter Biden snipe hunt in Ukraine. And just like a real snipe hunt, Rudy hasn’t caught shit.

A snipe hunt is what you do to get the kids out of your hair while camping or hanging out with friends. You send the kids on a snipe hunt so you and the rest of the adults can get hammered or do whatever it is you don’t want the kids there to witness. The thing is, there is no such thing as a snipe. IF the kids are really stupid, they’ll be gone for hours. Don’t ask me how I know this. Come to think of it, I can’t think of a better way to get Rudy out of your hair than sending him an Eastern European snipe hunt. The only bad thing is, he comes back to go on Fox News to tell Hannity about the snipes he caught that we can’t see. Hannity gets excited about snipes. So does Tucker Carlson.

A few weeks ago, Rudy convinced The New York Post to run a story about Hunter Biden’s laptop which contained incriminating emails that implicated him in nefarious evil plots with his father, Joe Biden. The only problem was, there was no actual proof the laptop belonged to Hunter Biden.

No credible news outlets would take the story. Not even Fox News. The reporter who was forced to write the story for the Post refused to put his name on it. Later, a former associate of Hunter, Tony Bobulinski, turned up with “incriminating” documents proving Hunter is one bad dude and his father bwahahahahahahas with him.

Once again, no credible media outlets would touch the story. The documents were crap. The Wall Street Journal refused the story. But good ole Tucker Carlson came along and gave Bobabooey an interview on his crap show, which made a lot of conspiracy theorists say, “A-ha!” But of course, it was all a bunch of accusations without any proof. I mean, if allegations were proof, then Donald Trump is a rapist.

Then it got even weirder. On Wednesday night, Tucker claimed a shipment of “damning” documents being shipped to him had VANISHED!!! He wondered how such a nefarious thing could happen to a “trove of materials that are directly relevant to the presidential campaign that’s six days away.” Did the Satanic pedophiliac deep state intercept them in Wichita?

Then, on Thursday morning, Tucker said they had been found but there was still malfeasance. Somehow, the package had been opened and the flash drive containing all the evil Biden stuff had fallen out. Is UPS part of the deep state? Does Hillary drive a brown truck?

Of course, when you have such important documents incriminating a presidential candidate in evil plots, you make copies. Right? Right! And Tucker made copies. And……….he still hasn’t released the copies. While complaining about the documents disappearing, then reappearing while being shipped, he never once told us anything about what was in the documents.

For all we know, the documents are like that giant book given to Lesley Stahl by Kayleigh McEnany which she claimed contained Trump’s healthcare plan. The book was actually like 7,000 pages of Trump word salad. Unlike Tucker would do, Lesley opened the book.

Then, NBC reported that a 64-page dossier floating around on the dark web (4chan and Qanon) documenting a complex conspiracy involving Hunter Biden and China was actually authored by a fake persona. In case you’re a Republican…or you watch Tucker Carlson Tonight…or you are Tucker Carlson, “fake persona” means the person doesn’t exist. The documents are fake, bogus, bullshit. I’m so sorry.

The question is, was this 64-page fake dossier the documents Tucker was waiting on from UPS? If so, why didn’t he just download them off the internet? Why were they even shipped in the first place? This isn’t 1992. You can email files now. If the files are really large, you can share them through Google Drive. I know this from personal experience. I have a computer. It seems like the only reason you would actually ship documents is because you’re hoping to lose them or they get mangled in a sorting machine.

Not only do these Hunter stories not pass muster for real journalists, they don’t pass the stink test for bar gossip. Who, what, where, when, why? They don’t have any of that. And if you were pushing this stuff in a bar, the bartender should cut you off.

Tucker Carlson is not a journalist. He’s not even a good fearmonger. Now, Tucker says we should just forget about all of it and leave Hunter Biden alone. You know what that means, don’t you? It means Tucker actually looked at the documents, finally, and discovered they were so full of shit, they didn’t even meet his standards. Who’s researching this shit for Tucker? Does he have the same clerk as Brett Kavanaugh?

It’s too bad Tucker isn’t a journalist. If he was, he would have taken a look at the info before telling his viewers he had info. As it turned out, he had shit. Tucker promised and he didn’t deliver. He’s like Geraldo and Al Capone’s vault. He cracked the safe and found dirt and empty bottles.

When Geraldo opened Al Capone’s safe and struck out, he knew he failed. He went across the street and got “tequila drunk.” Geraldo knew he sold an empty promise and there was nothing journalistic about it. But it made for great ratings. Really. Thirty million people watched for two hours as Geraldo opened an empty box….kinda like those Republican California ballot boxes.

Tucker isn’t that aware. He’s just going to ignore this ever happened and jump on the next bullshit conspiracy theory…what is it now, illegal voters with mail-in ballots? Are they all brown? Is George Soros behind it?

Hey, maybe someone will mail him documents.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Tucker And Trump’s Anti-Troops Tantrums


cjones07122020

If you fought in a war for this country, and perhaps was even wounded in combat, have you asked yourself, “have I done enough?” And have you? Have you done enough in the eyes of Tucker?

Tucker Carlson doesn’t believe you have done enough. At least, not if you disagree with Tucker. Even if you lost both legs in combat, you have not earned the right to voice an opinion that’s different from Tucker’s. To people who threaten Tucker’s white privilege, he says, “We have to fight to preserve our nation & heritage.”

Fight? Tucker? Sure. Tucker has never been in combat or even in the military, but he does understand what it’s like to fight to win because he was on “Dancing with the Stars,” thankfully because he didn’t lose both legs in combat. He knows what it’s like to fight because he’s currently in court fighting to win more than the one-dollar his mother left him in her will. How is Tucker supposed to fund his white privilege, heritage and culture on a buck? Tucker knows what it’s like to fight because he was in a verbal exchange with Jon Stewart that left his show, “Crossfire,” in ruins and Tucker jobless.

In Tucker’s defense, he did try to join the Central Intelligence Agency after college, but after determining he was lacking in intelligence and was the kind of worm whose own mother would probably only leave a buck for in her will, he was rejected.

But one thing we know about Tucker is that he loves America. We know this because he says so behind a desk on Fox News. Tucker says Illinois Senator Tammy Duckworth, who lost both of her legs piloting a helicopter in Iraq, does not love America. Tucker says the female Thai-American, and Somali-born Representative Ilhan Omar (who he once used as an example of what’s wrong with immigration) are threatening his “culture and heritage.”

Tucker doesn’t believe Russia meddled much in our elections. He thinks Mexico meddled more by sending people to the United States to vote. He thinks liberals hate America more than Vladimir Putin. While Tucker is questioning the patriotism of wounded war vets, he’s giving Donald Trump a pass on inviting Russia to meddle in our elections, taking Putin’s side over our intelligence agencies like the CIA, being subservient to Putin, asking Ukraine and China to meddle in the 2020 election, and not pressuring Putin or doing anything about the Russian authoritarian placing a bounty on the killing of American service members in Afghanistan. What Tucker is more upset about is a veteran who is open to a discussion about removing monuments of George Washington.

Duckworth responded to CNN’s Dana Bash after being asked about removing monuments to Washington with, “Well, let me just say that we should start off by having a national dialogue on it at some point. But, right now, we’re in the middle of a global pandemic. And our . . . one of our ally . . . one of our . . . countries that are opposed to us, Russia, has put a bounty on American troops’ head.” How dare she want to focus on defending American troops more than statues. Why she must not love America as much as Tucker does.

Personally, I’m not in favor of removing monuments to George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. But I’m not afraid of talking about it. Both founding fathers were slave owners. They were complicated. I’m in favor of presenting them as they were, real human beings with flaws and not as mythical figures. But for Tucker, talking about it is a threat to his white privilege, culture, and heritage. Or, is Tucker trying to change the conversation and is really more afraid of talking about Putin placing a bounty on American troops and Donald Trump not doing anything about it?

Over the past few nights, from the comfort of his Fox News show which is almost solely supported by MyPillow after advertisers have bailed on it due to his racist comments toward Black Lives Matter, Tucker has called a war vet a “coward.”

Tucker Carlson, who I should remind you is named “Tucker,” and the closest he’s ever come to being wounded is during his manicures, has called a wounded war veteran a “coward.” Tucker has gone on to call Senator Duckworth a “moron” and a “vandal.” I guess she’s vandalizing his white privilege.

Tucker’s anti-immigrant nationalism resonates with the Trump base as he’s now surpassed Sean Hannity for the top-rated show, despite advertisers fleeing for other programs (except for that MyPillow guy). It’s mostly resonated with Trump himself, who has tweeted video excerpts of Tucker’s attacks on women of color.

Tucker claims people like Senator Tammy Duckworth are threats to his “culture and heritage,” while Thai-American Tammy Duckworth’s culture and heritage includes serving America in combat. In addition to fighting in Iraq for this country, an ancestry search has revealed her relatives fought in the American Revolution and every major war in our nation’s history. In addition to fighting for her country and losing two limbs in the process, Tammy Duckworth is a descendant of someone who literally fought alongside George Washington. So, I think she’s qualified to say let’s have a discussion about monuments to Washington.

Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump are both cowards. Tucker could have fought in Desert Storm in 1990/1991. He could have fought in Iraq or Afghanistan in the early 2000s (I could have too but you don’t see me attacking wounded vets and calling them “cowards”). Donald Trump could have served in Vietnam, but his daddy had a doctor claim Donald had bone spurs to avoid the draft. Tucker and Donald are cowards.

Tucker is just like Donald Trump in that they’re tough guys who play arm-chair warriors while attacking people who have served our country. Tucker’s attacks on Senator Duckworth are similar to Donald Trump’s attacks on POW John McCain when he said, “I like people who weren’t captured.” Trump and Tucker attack our vets while they defend Russia’s attacks on our nation. Donald Trump is tearing America apart and Tucker is enabling him. The biggest mystery is why conservatives, who claim to be the most patriotic, and veterans still support these two.

Feel free to argue over politics with a veteran. Feel free to disagree. They fought so you have that freedom. But do NOT question their patriotism or love for the country they fought for and that you sat at home and gave opinions about. Don’t vilify and dehumanize wounded veterans because it suits your politics. And don’t do it to serve a lying coward like Captain Bonespurs Donald Trump. Tucker Carlson complains that he’s not “allowed” to question their patriotism. Guess what, Tucker. You’re not.

Senator Duckworth had the perfect response to coward Tucker’s attacks on her patriotism. She tweeted an invite for him to “walk a mile in my legs and then tell me whether or not I love America.”

Spoiler alert: Tucker doesn’t.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Feel The Endorsements


cjones10232019

Hillary Clinton doesn’t have to do anything newsworthy for Republicans to obsess over her. They haven’t stopped talking about her on a daily basis since 2016. Donald Trump’s not over her and continues to tweet and talk about her at his hate rallies. Last week, I saw at least three cartoons by Republican political cartoonists, and that was before news about the investigation into her server came out. But after her comments on a podcast hosted by former Obama adviser David Plouffe, even Democrats are going a bit bonkers.

On the podcast, Clinton said Russians may be using a current Democratic presidential candidate to swing the 2020 election to Donald Trump, much like they used Jill Stein in 2016. She didn’t name the candidate she referred to as a female, but everyone knows she’s talking about Hawaii representative Tulsi Gabbard.

Clinton said, “I’m not making any predictions, but I think they’ve got their eye on somebody who is currently in the Democratic primary and are grooming her to be the third-party candidate.” Gabbard responded by calling Clinton “the queen of warmongers, embodiment of corruption, and personification of the rot that has sickened the Democratic Party for so long.” In the process, she failed to deny it.

While a lot of Democrats are defending Tulsi, calling Clinton’s attacks unfair on a veteran and sexist, many believe Clinton’s comments are important and provide a warning for the nation. I do too.

The New York Times published an article last week titled, What, Exactly, is Tulsi Gabbard up to? In the article, they point out how she’s co-opted the Republican conspiracy theory that the Democratic Party is “rigging” the primary with help from the media, and how she’s become a star of alt-right internet stars, white nationalists, and Russian bots.

Gabbard has received praise from Steve Bannon, white nationalist Richard Spencer, Trump-loving televangelist Franklin Graham, Libertarian Ron Paul, and far-right conspiracy theoriest Mike Cervonich.

She’s become popular on 4chan where right-wing trolls and anti-semites call her “mommy,” and The Daily Stormer, a neo-Nazi website that endorsed Donald Trump, takes credit for her qualifying for the first two Democratic debates. The Kremlin-backed Russian news outlet RT can’t stop talking about her. Additionally, there appears to be a Russian-bot campaign promoting her on Twitter.

While she hasn’t actually rejected any of that support, she finally snagged one endorsement that she felt she did have to denounce. That was the endorsement of former Grand Wizard David Duke. Gabbard said, “I have strongly denounced David Duke’s hateful views and his so-called ‘support’ multiple times in the past, and reject his support,” and tweeted, “U didn’t know I’m Polynesian/Cauc? Dad couldn’t use ‘whites only’ water fountain. No thanks. Ur white nationalism is pure evil.” Nevertheless, Duke changed his Twitter page banner to a picture of Gabbard with text reading, “Tulsi Gabbard for President. Finally a candidate who will actually put America First rather than Israel First!” Whether she likes it or not, Tulsi has been coopted like the Confederate flag.

Tulsi’s first media appearance in attacking Clinton didn’t help kill the impression that she’s fishing for far-right, conspiracy-loving, right-wing support, as it was Tucker Carlson’s show on Fox News.

Donald Trump also attacked Clinton, but mostly for her claims that Jill Stein is a Russian asset. Trump, the Russian asset, defended Stein from being a Russian asset and encouraged a third-party candidacy.

Only an idiot can’t see what David Duke, Donald Trump, Tucker, 4-chan, RT, The Daily Stormer, and Russian bots are doing. While Gabbard has rejected a third-party candidacy, if she were to run, it would probably give Donald Trump four more years.

Personally, I think when Nazis start supporting you, you should go home.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Tucker’s Mellow


cjones08162019

Conservatives are going nuts defending Donald Trump’s racism. They argue that comments such as “send them back” or “infestation” aren’t racist. They sell the idea that there’s no correlation between him and mass shooters who echo his code words. They use false equivalency to deflect from Trump’s racism, like trying to tie Democrats to a mass shooter who never wrote a manifesto or made posts on social media about a political agenda as a reason for his carnage. Often as a first resort, they lie to defend Trump’s racism. But the thing is, they’re not defending Trump’s racism anymore. They’re defending racism.

Earlier this week, Tucker Carlson went on an online bender of defending racists. He got away from defending Donald Trump and started defending white supremacists. Tucker said that White Supremacy is a “hoax” and it’s “not a real problem in America.” Then, he went on vacation. But don’t worry. Fox News has other racists personalities.

When did defending white supremacists become part of the agenda?

It was reported a few days ago that the Trump administration wanted the Department of Homeland Security to put less focus on white nationalists groups that they perceive as a danger. They wanted DHS to put most of their focus on scary brown people. Do you know who commits the majority of terrorist attacks in this nation? Scary white people.

After ICE raided factories in Mississippi and little crying brown children were on the news crying for their missing parents, the White House told ICE to do more because they loved that image. Brown children crying really resonates with the Trump base, almost as much as baby jails.

It’s also been reported that Trump’s campaign believes accusations that Trump is a white supremacist will help Trump in the coming election. A majority of Americans believe Trump is a racist. Continuing to call him a white supremacist isn’t going to lower those numbers but it will convince more and more white supremacists he’s one of theirs.

After a white supremacist who wrote a manifesto praising Trump as a “beacon” killed over 50 Muslims in New Zealand, Trump said he didn’t believe white supremacy to be a threat. But he believes MS-13 is a threat.

There are around two million gang members in the United States. The only gang you hear about from Trump and Trump TV (Fox News) is MS-13. Out of those two million gang members, MS-13 only accounts for about 10,000. So why are we only hearing about MS-13? Because they’re brown.

Tucker Carlson has also championed the threat of MS-13. He would never call it a hoax. But he calls the threat of white supremacy a hoax. Tucker has claimed that anyone who calls out MS-13 is labeled as a “racist.” No, Tucker. But defending white supremacists will get you labeled as a racist.

Tucker says there aren’t enough white supremacists to fill a football stadium. He’s right, depending on the stadium. There are only about 25,000 “official” white supremacists in the U.S. Why, that’s about double the attendance of your standard Trump rally (but he did pull in 25,000 in Alabama…hmmm).  But if 25,000 aren’t a threat, then why are 10,000?

And, we’re talking about the “official” members the FBI can track. How many white supremacists are out there with violent intentions who have never been tracked? I’m sure Tucker knows a lot of white supremacists, but I doubt he knows each one personally to verify their cuddliness.

While authorities have tracked around 25,000 “official” members, around 200,000 subscribe to racist publications and websites. It’s a much bigger problem than Tucker or Trump cares to admit.

I don’t believe either Donald Trump or Tucker Carlson are white supremacists. But I do believe they’re racists supporting and enabling white supremacists and hate in general. Their agenda is hate.

Tucker has defended, enabled, and justified racism. And, if you support Donald Trump, you’re a defender of racism too.

A lot of racists are like those suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect. They’re don’t know they’re in the club. If you suffer from the TuckerTrump effect, congratulations.

You’re in the club.

Creative Note: This cartoon has now been blocked by Instagram. Go figure.

Support the cartoonist

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Fox News’ Tuck And Roll


cjones03152019

How bigoted does one have to be to be for Fox News to distance itself from you? Let’s ask Jeanine Pirro.

President Barack Obama once said that if he watched Fox News all day, then he’d probably be an Obama hater too. If you want to know what he’s talking about, just watch one of their star commentators, Pirro.

Pirro is angry. She delivers her commentary like a constipated conservative who just found out a bunch of gay, black Muslim flag burners had just moved into her neighborhood. On Saturday night, she was pissed at Muslim representative Ilhan Omar and questioned if her religious beliefs undermined her loyalty to the United States.

Pirro barked, “Think about it: Omar wears a hijab. Is her adherence to this Islamic doctrine indicative of her adherence to Shariah law, which in itself is antithetical to the United States Constitution?” Islam isn’t any more antithetical to the United States Constitution than Christianity. Yeah, I said it.

Fox News producer, Hufsa Kamal tweeted at Pirro, “can you stop spreading this false narrative that somehow Muslims hate America or women who wear a hijab aren’t American enough? You have Muslims working at the same network you do, including myself.” I’m not too sure how effective the please-stop-being-a-bigot technique is going to work on Pirro or any other Fox News talking head.

Fox News issued a statement 24 hours after her remarks, saying, “We strongly condemn Jeanine Pirro’s comments about Representative Ilhan Omar. They do not reflect those of the network and we have addressed the matter with her directly.”

But, as much as Fox News may insist they don’t support her comments, they were not off the cuff or spontaneous banter. They were scripted and loaded into a teleprompter.

Since narcissism is a trait shared among conservatives, Pirro didn’t apologize or admit a mistake, much like Trump can’t admit he said “Tim Apple” instead of “Tim Cook.” Pirro said, “I’ve seen a lot of comments about my opening statement from Saturday night’s show and I did not call Representative Omar un-American. My intention was to ask a question and start a debate, but of course because one is Muslim does not mean you don’t support the Constitution.” That’s true. She didn’t call her un-American. She just questioned her loyalty to the country because of her religion and her wearing of a hijab. How can anyone find bigotry in that?

Tucker Carlson hasn’t apologized or admitted a mistake either regarding comments he made between 2006 and 2011. Media Matters published posts and recordings of Carlson that were sexist and racist. Carlson issued a statement saying, “Media Matters caught me saying something naughty on a radio show more than a decade ago. Rather than express the usual ritual contrition, how about this: I’m on television every weeknight live for an hour. If you want to know what I think, you can watch. Anyone who disagrees with my views is welcome to come on and explain why.”

Carlson needs someone to explain to him why it’s wrong to defend rapists? He also complained about the “liberal mob” trying to “kill his show.”

Some of Carlson’s “naughty” comments were about Alexis Stewart, Martha Stewart’s daughter who he described as “cunty” and said, “I just wanted to give her the spanking she so desperately needs.” He also said Britney Spears and Paris Hilton were, “two of the biggest white whores in America.”

In 2006, Tucker called into the Bubba the Love Sponge show (yeah, that’s a real thing) and said, “arranging a marriage between a 16-year-old and a 27-year-old is not the same as pulling a stranger off the street and raping her.” He said of one individual who married a child, “The rapist, in this case, has made a lifelong commitment to live and take care of the person.” He also called for the elimination of rape shield laws.

He once said that a female teacher who had sex with a 13-year-old male student was, “doing a service to all 13-year-old girls by taking the pressure off.” Basically, he came off as being a really big fan of rape or at least protecting rapists.

In 2006, he said of Barack Obama, then an Illinois senator, “How is he black, for one thing? He has one white parent, one black parent.” In 2008, he called in again and described Iraq as, “a crappy place filled with a bunch of, you know, semiliterate primitive monkeys — that’s why it wasn’t worth invading,” and also claimed Iraqis didn’t use toilet paper.

There’s a lot more he said, but I don’t want it to take you all day to read this blog. If you’re that interested to see them all, scroll up and click the Media Matters link. Warning; after reading the comments you’ll feel like you just watched an hour of Jeanine Pirro and you may need to shower with a Brillo pad.

I took a little creative license with this cartoon because, according to Tucker, he stopped wearing the bow tie around 2006 because, in New York City, people were screaming and cursing at him on the subways about it.  Sure, New York City is a place that doesn’t do unconventional or weird, and they’ll scream at you for wearing a bow tie.

You look at Tucker’s track record with his racist and misogynistic comments and what kind of guy he truly is, and I don’t think it’s the bow tie they were screaming and cursing about on the subway.

Creative note: Thanks to my friends Hilary and Quannah who provided the words “shrill” and “harpy.”

The Herblock

I’ve been meaning to post about this, but each day gave me a new article to share on social media and I was kinda getting sick of myself.

I am the Finalist for the Herblock Prize, coming in second to winner Matt Davies. If you told me I was your second-favorite cartoonist behind Matt, I’d be flattered. Being honored by the Herblock Foundation in this way is truly amazing. It hasn’t sunk in yet.

This is the first time I’ve placed in one of the big national contests. I started my career in 1990, so I’ve been waiting nearly 30 years to hear my name mentioned. To everyone who’s offered congratulations and positive comments on my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, thank you.

To all those other cartoonists out there, let this be a lesson to you. Sleep and having a social life is overrated.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Carving Up Fox News


cjones10252017

Conservatives and Republicans had a field day going after Harvey Weinstein after it was revealed he spent decades using his power in Hollywood to sexually harass young, wannabe starlets.

You would think the people who were silent over the sexual harassment allegations against their idols Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, and Donald Trump would be smart enough to continue to keep their traps shut. They should have had as much to say about Weinstein as they did about former Republican Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert. In case you need a reminder, they had nothing to say about Hastert and his pedophilia.

I saw a post by a conservative colleague of mine defending Trump, as if everything against him was only allegations. This same guy frequently refers to Bill Clinton as a rapist.

I’ve seen about two dozen cartoons on Weinstein from people who never touched the stories on conservatives, while liberal cartoonists haven’t held back on Weinstein. Donald Trump Jr. tweeted about Weinstein, momentarily forgetting he’s the son of a man who brags about assaulting women, barging in on teenage girls while they’re undressing, and openly cheated on Jr’s mother. Donald Trump himself went after Weinstein, because he’s a shameless hypocrite, and it was easier to discuss than American troops being killed in Niger.

People like Ted Cruz, who voted and supported Donald Trump for president went after Weinstein as if they actually have an issue or care at all about sexual harassment.

When it comes to hypocrisy, nobody beats the sorry excuses for journalists at Fox News, a bastion of hypocrisy.

There was much outrage all over the media, not just over Weinstein’s decades of sexually harassing women, but also over the fact that his company, and an entire industry, allowed him to get away with it. There were clauses in Weinstein’s contract, not that he’d be fired for harassment, but that there would be penalties to be paid.

Fox News didn’t just report on this, a few of their talking fucks had to express their own personal outrage.

I’m not one for giving parenting advice, but to future parents out there I would advise you never name your kid “Tucker.” That kid will grow up to become a bow tie-wearing asshole who says shit like, ““many powerful people knew what Harvey Weinstein was doing, and not only ignored his crimes, but actively took his side against his many victims.” Shit like that is why Tuckers are constantly getting beat up and receiving swirlies.

Let’s play with Tucker’s sentence. ““many powerful people knew what Bill O’Reilly and Roger Ailes were doing, and not only ignored their crimes, but actively took their side against their many victims.” Why didn’t you say that, Tucker?  Do you honestly believe sexual harassment is a partisan issue that is only committed by Democrats and supported by their benefactors? Or, are you just a d-bag, partisan, hypocritical, shameless, idiot?

As it was revealed over the weekend, after Bill O’Reilly settled a sexual harassment lawsuit for $32 million, his employer, FOX FUCKING NEWS, where Tucker Carlson works, rewarded him with a new contract….and the company knew about the settlement. And, they allow fuckers like Tucker to go on the air and bemoan the scandal of movie studios, Hollywood in general, and Democrats of ignoring and taking Weinstein’s side.

But, there’s more. Tucker is not the only hypocritical sorry son of a bitch working at Fox News. Sean Hannity went after Weinstein also and said, “Liberals love to be so sanctimonious, holier than thou, but they’re really hypocrites.” Yes, Hannity. Liberals are the hypocrites here. I’m shocked he could make that statement with a mouthful of Trump’s meatloaf.

Hypocrisy is what Fox News has done. They’ve renewed contracts of known sexual harassers and then allowed these two scumbags to go on the air and bitch about companies who looked the other way for that kind of crap.

Maybe, the jerks at Fox News don’t understand how hypocrisy works. Or maybe, they don’t believe it applies to them.

Or just maybe, they’re afraid if they speak the truth that the old-craggly-ass-stupid-fucker demographic will change the channel.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.