Tucker Carlson

Fox News’ Tuck And Roll


cjones03152019

How bigoted does one have to be to be for Fox News to distance itself from you? Let’s ask Jeanine Pirro.

President Barack Obama once said that if he watched Fox News all day, then he’d probably be an Obama hater too. If you want to know what he’s talking about, just watch one of their star commentators, Pirro.

Pirro is angry. She delivers her commentary like a constipated conservative who just found out a bunch of gay, black Muslim flag burners had just moved into her neighborhood. On Saturday night, she was pissed at Muslim representative Ilhan Omar and questioned if her religious beliefs undermined her loyalty to the United States.

Pirro barked, “Think about it: Omar wears a hijab. Is her adherence to this Islamic doctrine indicative of her adherence to Shariah law, which in itself is antithetical to the United States Constitution?” Islam isn’t any more antithetical to the United States Constitution than Christianity. Yeah, I said it.

Fox News producer, Hufsa Kamal tweeted at Pirro, “can you stop spreading this false narrative that somehow Muslims hate America or women who wear a hijab aren’t American enough? You have Muslims working at the same network you do, including myself.” I’m not too sure how effective the please-stop-being-a-bigot technique is going to work on Pirro or any other Fox News talking head.

Fox News issued a statement 24 hours after her remarks, saying, “We strongly condemn Jeanine Pirro’s comments about Representative Ilhan Omar. They do not reflect those of the network and we have addressed the matter with her directly.”

But, as much as Fox News may insist they don’t support her comments, they were not off the cuff or spontaneous banter. They were scripted and loaded into a teleprompter.

Since narcissism is a trait shared among conservatives, Pirro didn’t apologize or admit a mistake, much like Trump can’t admit he said “Tim Apple” instead of “Tim Cook.” Pirro said, “I’ve seen a lot of comments about my opening statement from Saturday night’s show and I did not call Representative Omar un-American. My intention was to ask a question and start a debate, but of course because one is Muslim does not mean you don’t support the Constitution.” That’s true. She didn’t call her un-American. She just questioned her loyalty to the country because of her religion and her wearing of a hijab. How can anyone find bigotry in that?

Tucker Carlson hasn’t apologized or admitted a mistake either regarding comments he made between 2006 and 2011. Media Matters published posts and recordings of Carlson that were sexist and racist. Carlson issued a statement saying, “Media Matters caught me saying something naughty on a radio show more than a decade ago. Rather than express the usual ritual contrition, how about this: I’m on television every weeknight live for an hour. If you want to know what I think, you can watch. Anyone who disagrees with my views is welcome to come on and explain why.”

Carlson needs someone to explain to him why it’s wrong to defend rapists? He also complained about the “liberal mob” trying to “kill his show.”

Some of Carlson’s “naughty” comments were about Alexis Stewart, Martha Stewart’s daughter who he described as “cunty” and said, “I just wanted to give her the spanking she so desperately needs.” He also said Britney Spears and Paris Hilton were, “two of the biggest white whores in America.”

In 2006, Tucker called into the Bubba the Love Sponge show (yeah, that’s a real thing) and said, “arranging a marriage between a 16-year-old and a 27-year-old is not the same as pulling a stranger off the street and raping her.” He said of one individual who married a child, “The rapist, in this case, has made a lifelong commitment to live and take care of the person.” He also called for the elimination of rape shield laws.

He once said that a female teacher who had sex with a 13-year-old male student was, “doing a service to all 13-year-old girls by taking the pressure off.” Basically, he came off as being a really big fan of rape or at least protecting rapists.

In 2006, he said of Barack Obama, then an Illinois senator, “How is he black, for one thing? He has one white parent, one black parent.” In 2008, he called in again and described Iraq as, “a crappy place filled with a bunch of, you know, semiliterate primitive monkeys — that’s why it wasn’t worth invading,” and also claimed Iraqis didn’t use toilet paper.

There’s a lot more he said, but I don’t want it to take you all day to read this blog. If you’re that interested to see them all, scroll up and click the Media Matters link. Warning; after reading the comments you’ll feel like you just watched an hour of Jeanine Pirro and you may need to shower with a Brillo pad.

I took a little creative license with this cartoon because, according to Tucker, he stopped wearing the bow tie around 2006 because, in New York City, people were screaming and cursing at him on the subways about it.  Sure, New York City is a place that doesn’t do unconventional or weird, and they’ll scream at you for wearing a bow tie.

You look at Tucker’s track record with his racist and misogynistic comments and what kind of guy he truly is, and I don’t think it’s the bow tie they were screaming and cursing about on the subway.

Creative note: Thanks to my friends Hilary and Quannah who provided the words “shrill” and “harpy.”

The Herblock

I’ve been meaning to post about this, but each day gave me a new article to share on social media and I was kinda getting sick of myself.

I am the Finalist for the Herblock Prize, coming in second to winner Matt Davies. If you told me I was your second-favorite cartoonist behind Matt, I’d be flattered. Being honored by the Herblock Foundation in this way is truly amazing. It hasn’t sunk in yet.

This is the first time I’ve placed in one of the big national contests. I started my career in 1990, so I’ve been waiting nearly 30 years to hear my name mentioned. To everyone who’s offered congratulations and positive comments on my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, thank you.

To all those other cartoonists out there, let this be a lesson to you. Sleep and having a social life is overrated.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Carving Up Fox News


cjones10252017

Conservatives and Republicans had a field day going after Harvey Weinstein after it was revealed he spent decades using his power in Hollywood to sexually harass young, wannabe starlets.

You would think the people who were silent over the sexual harassment allegations against their idols Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, and Donald Trump would be smart enough to continue to keep their traps shut. They should have had as much to say about Weinstein as they did about former Republican Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert. In case you need a reminder, they had nothing to say about Hastert and his pedophilia.

I saw a post by a conservative colleague of mine defending Trump, as if everything against him was only allegations. This same guy frequently refers to Bill Clinton as a rapist.

I’ve seen about two dozen cartoons on Weinstein from people who never touched the stories on conservatives, while liberal cartoonists haven’t held back on Weinstein. Donald Trump Jr. tweeted about Weinstein, momentarily forgetting he’s the son of a man who brags about assaulting women, barging in on teenage girls while they’re undressing, and openly cheated on Jr’s mother. Donald Trump himself went after Weinstein, because he’s a shameless hypocrite, and it was easier to discuss than American troops being killed in Niger.

People like Ted Cruz, who voted and supported Donald Trump for president went after Weinstein as if they actually have an issue or care at all about sexual harassment.

When it comes to hypocrisy, nobody beats the sorry excuses for journalists at Fox News, a bastion of hypocrisy.

There was much outrage all over the media, not just over Weinstein’s decades of sexually harassing women, but also over the fact that his company, and an entire industry, allowed him to get away with it. There were clauses in Weinstein’s contract, not that he’d be fired for harassment, but that there would be penalties to be paid.

Fox News didn’t just report on this, a few of their talking fucks had to express their own personal outrage.

I’m not one for giving parenting advice, but to future parents out there I would advise you never name your kid “Tucker.” That kid will grow up to become a bow tie-wearing asshole who says shit like, ““many powerful people knew what Harvey Weinstein was doing, and not only ignored his crimes, but actively took his side against his many victims.” Shit like that is why Tuckers are constantly getting beat up and receiving swirlies.

Let’s play with Tucker’s sentence. ““many powerful people knew what Bill O’Reilly and Roger Ailes were doing, and not only ignored their crimes, but actively took their side against their many victims.” Why didn’t you say that, Tucker?  Do you honestly believe sexual harassment is a partisan issue that is only committed by Democrats and supported by their benefactors? Or, are you just a d-bag, partisan, hypocritical, shameless, idiot?

As it was revealed over the weekend, after Bill O’Reilly settled a sexual harassment lawsuit for $32 million, his employer, FOX FUCKING NEWS, where Tucker Carlson works, rewarded him with a new contract….and the company knew about the settlement. And, they allow fuckers like Tucker to go on the air and bemoan the scandal of movie studios, Hollywood in general, and Democrats of ignoring and taking Weinstein’s side.

But, there’s more. Tucker is not the only hypocritical sorry son of a bitch working at Fox News. Sean Hannity went after Weinstein also and said, “Liberals love to be so sanctimonious, holier than thou, but they’re really hypocrites.” Yes, Hannity. Liberals are the hypocrites here. I’m shocked he could make that statement with a mouthful of Trump’s meatloaf.

Hypocrisy is what Fox News has done. They’ve renewed contracts of known sexual harassers and then allowed these two scumbags to go on the air and bitch about companies who looked the other way for that kind of crap.

Maybe, the jerks at Fox News don’t understand how hypocrisy works. Or maybe, they don’t believe it applies to them.

Or just maybe, they’re afraid if they speak the truth that the old-craggly-ass-stupid-fucker demographic will change the channel.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.